my husb msg me this morning.. citing something on belief bias.. he said:
"In logic, an arguement can be invalid even if its conclusion is true, and an arguement can be valid even if its conclusion is false. It's a confusing concept, and people are easily fooled when an arguement's validity and believability don't match up, especially in the case of invalid arguements with conclusions that are believable. Psychological scientists call this phenomenon belief bias"
he said we both r having this belief bias, just that his is the worst case.. he said his belief bias is too strong so need to b in line with my belief..
he said he will need alot of time and his heart is really hurting n breaking up. Every night he is thinking about the woman, if she is ok? Did she go home? Did she eat regularly?
he said that she is partly his responsibility, that he made her the way she is now even she is willing to b unnamed. My husb said for him to come out is difficult, not as easy like ABC. Not like let go means let go. He somehow lost half a meaning in his life.. Another half is me n the kids. The guilt of making her become like this is just killing him too hard. Now he is feel that i kept pushing him to forget her. So I told him, i am now giving him time to forget and get over her isn't it? He says this just lingering in his mind. He dont have mood for anything. So I asked him, even for family and kids also no mood? He replied yes, no mood and nobody understands him. He said now he is with me and ask me don't worry.
I told him, yes he is with me, but no mood for anything even for the kids.. is it worth anything? He is like an empty shell with me.. So i asked him if he had feel for anything? Does he feel happy coming home everyday after work? Does he feel happy when he woke up? He says he is worried for her and he is at home and he does not need to worry anything. He says we can talk and play and eat.. what about her? Hence it is hard to let go either of us. N he says now he feels empty..