I am in a child custody fight - to be exact, fight over everything but child custody is the one that I am worried losing or compromising.
I had moved out with my kid. I had waited and tossed and turned over an period of time before decided that there's no hope in our marriage and initiated D. I only wanted child arrangement status quo i.e. every night with me but he decided to contest and ask for access from entire fris to suns. On certain PHs and special days he requested I had let my kid stayover with him but he wanted more. On nites that I did not have my kid with me, I had trouble sleeping and missed him so much. I am only willing to let him have overnight access to kid once a month excludin PHs and special occasions. Is that too much to ask for? Can someone share your custody outcome. I felt so terrified of the outcome and do not have a place to share.
I am in a child custody fight - to be exact, fight over everything but child custody is the one that I am worried losing or compromising.
I had moved out with my kid. I had waited and tossed and turned over an period of time before decided that there's no hope in our marriage and initiated D. I only wanted child arrangement status quo i.e. every night with me but he decided to contest and ask for access from entire fris to suns. On certain PHs and special days he requested I had let my kid stayover with him but he wanted more. On nites that I did not have my kid with me, I had trouble sleeping and missed him so much. I am only willing to let him have overnight access to kid once a month excludin PHs and special occasions. Is that too much to ask for? Can someone share your custody outcome. I felt so terrified of the outcome and do not have a place to share.
Contested because of 'male pride'. But after a few mediation sessions with the judge, he realised he is at fault and continuing with his nonsense means he is at the losing end.Thanks tlo. Was hers contested? May I asked what happens to the arrangement after 7 yo and why she didn't ask for alimony?
You sounded bitter. Who wants to be bald if you can have full hair. Whatever it is, sounded like you had a bad time too. If you have kids too, you need to get over your bitterness or it'll show and grow onto them. I am trying very hard not to mind others' judgement like yours whom possibly has no idea what one goes through to come to that dreadful decision. Obviously your reply does not help. All the best to your custody journey, which I assume you are in the same boat or you will not be in this thread.
Who wants to be bald if you can have a full head of hair? Some idiots who think skinhead is in fashion. Just like people who think divorce is the easy way out just because he or she is unhappy.
Yes, if you had read my history you will know why. My ex wife committed adultery. She had abducted my children and throw them in Malaysia and she came back to Singapore to ask me to divorce her.She wants me to divorce under the terms I have to admit I am the one that is at fault and to give her the children and my flat. Else she will never bring my children back home. She goes around telling everyone I was at fault. Just because she is the "good girl" in everyone eyes, I was accused of being bad to her, I was accused of neglecting her, I was accused of many many things I was not. Until the day I got the evidence she was cohabiting with a man.
6 months down the road, during CFRC, she suddenly says my child s not my mine and want me give up. I am not giving up. I took care of my children, not her. The only thing she has is she is the mother and she gave birth to them. The things I have was years of taking care of the children. Years of waking up at night to change their diapers. Years of bringing them to doctors. I gave up my career advancement to opt for 8 to 6 jobs so I can rush home daily to take care of my kids. I paid for all expenses, I am the father and the mother all into one.
Now, tell me, should I just give up my kids because she say she cannot sleep without my children? Even if my son is not my biological son, the amount of love I had put in is not less than if he is my biological son. She destroy the marriage, she bring fore instability to their life, out of her own selfish intentions she wants the children to lose their father. Just like you. So don't give me the crap you sounded bitter thing. Selfish is selfish. If you cannot be a mother, think for them put them before you, you are not fit to be one. There are great parents who stayed together so the children can have a whole family. I have a friend who tolerate her abusive husband for 16 years and only recently consider divorce because her youngest kid is 17 year old. You, what do you need to tolerate? What did your husband do that warrant a divorce? or a divorce is just because you think your marriage is not a bed of roses.
If you think help is just some empty talk to make you feel happy, grow up. Look in the mirror and say if you are a third person looking at your case, will you stand at your own side.
Hi silentlove you have exactly same problem as me.Hi. I'm going through a very rough patch in my life. I'm a Malaysian SPR, mother of a 4 yr old boy and expecting a girl in oct. My husband has been jobless since February. We've been married for 4 yrs coming to 5. My first born was already in my tummy when we got married. From the time I married him til now, I have been the sole breadwinner of the family. Most of the expenses are borne by me; insurance, bills, expenses... I was even the one who paid for the wedding photography! He was jobless when I married him and he only started working when my son turned 4 mths old and after much arguments which eventually involved one of his uncles in the discussion and he was offered a job by another uncle who works in that company. He didn't land that job himself. After almost 4 yrs working in the same company, I thought he would be better off doing something else other than a security guard in his 20s, which I felt was a waste, I urged him to pursue another line of work, personal training. After taking his "exam", and 2-3 mths of trying to train up his body, he decided that it's not what he wanted to do. Then he blamed me for "forcing" him to leave his last job. In my heart i felt, even if it is my fault for telling you to quit your last job, doesn't mean you can keep blaming me forever. It's your life and it's your responsibility as a father and husband to make a living and take care of the family. Mind you, he's never given me any form of maintenance from the time he worked. Maybe once of twice of small amounts like $50, at most $200. We stay with his parents and our BTO will be ready probably by mid next year. So now he's jobless, no income, our child is due in oct, our flat is due next year, my current income is not enough to support the family until I have to resort to finding a buyer for my car. I have spoken to him multiple times about this and every single time he gives me the same response; just a simple nod and a "mmm" from his mouth. I even have to start seeking for an alternative to deliver my child in msia just to keep the expenses low. Our bank accounts don't even have enough to get by the next 2 mths. I've been having thoughts of leaving him but still gave him many chances to change coz I don't want my kids to grow up without a father. My husband is a nice man; he will do the housework and care for my son when I'm at work or not feeling well, but just doesn't know his priorities and responsibilities, and the severity of our condition now. He has a "take-it-easy" kind of attitude. I have not voiced out to his parents or my parents because I want him to keep his pride. But I think now I have to start telling his parents. Everyday he has been eating, sleeping, playing games and watching movies on his iPad (which I bought for him 2 yrs ago-bad move), and play with my son (only for a while). I'm on the verge of going crazy thinking of how to survive the next few mths, give birth to my child and still support the family when my income will not come in when I'm on maternity coz I'm self-employed. I have been reading up on deed of separation and am thinking of approaching family services centre for help but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do to get things done. I'm not sure how my children will be affected in this if we separate. How will they judge who will get custody of my children. My family is in KL, can I bring my kids back there for a few mths until things settle down? But that means totally no income from my side and his and I have to live on my parents. Is it advisable to go back for a few mths so I can give birth and recuperate there or give birth in jb, come back to sg and let my in laws care for my girl and I leave my current job to get a fixed income job. Then I will have no place to stay if I separate from him unless I rent a room which I don't have the money to rent. Continue staying with him? Can I file for separation and move in to our new house next year while he stay back with his parents? I dunno. I'm so tired and worried and confused. What should I do?? If only he can go back to work....sigh.
I understand how you feel. My hubby have not being working for a year and dont seem anxious at all. I quarrel with my in law over him and thus we move out. Now I also due in oct and very stress.Hi silentlove you have exactly same problem as me.
I am self employed as insurance agent but I rejoin the company back thus renewal is not strong yet. My hubby is exactly like urs. Not anxious and easy attitude. I really cannot take it esp now we are preggy. To be honest divorce always on my mind. my parents know about this cause I feel that they should know about our situation. I even voice to his sisters but well their family members will side him. They say let him slowly find job and scared he depression but I think the chance of me getting depression is much higher. I still run around working hard when I am 30 weeks now.Hi silentlove you have exactly same problem as me.