Custody of child in separation/divorce

[starlights]

Silentlove,
Check ur hdb page online...maybe ur hse will come earlier?

So long as u guys didn't have the divorce finalised, u still can get the keys.

Just my random thoughts. U need a place to stay, so i don't think u would want to withdraw ur application or surrender ur flat, after paying so much already. I believe your 10%+stamp fees is already paid.

If ur BTO comes early next year, probably u write in to HDB if they could allow u (SPR) to keep the bto together with ur kids (if court granted u the custody that is).
I know a citizen plus a citizen child can be considered as a proper nucleus in hdb policy...but I'm not very sure if PR can keep it.

Fyi. If hdb allow just withdrawal of ur hub ownership, then u need to pay back in cash for all his cpf+his grant used...which maybe alot $. Imagine he used 20k cpf n was given 20k grant, u need to fork out 20k+interest in cash to return back his cpf.

But,if u got divorce documents stating zero cpf refunds, then u may not need to pay his cpf back...but the grant u need to check again with hdb/cpf.

 

[silentlove]

I will starlight. Thanks.

 

[mama_joanne]

Hi Joanne. Incidentally, we work in the same line. That's why my income not stable. Renewals very low and business is slow. Now preggy wanna get another job outside also not easy. Sigh. Looks like we're in the same boat. Except I'm still living with them

Yes I also same as you. My parents ask me to go find fixed pay job cause got kids to focus. Now you dont stress too much. Just focus on baby and deliver first. After delivery we will be able to do more things easily. Yes u can file for childcare leave money from government. Extra money. And with your situation u can write to MP to ask for rental flat. I can guide you on this cause I got a rental flat after I write in and see MP.

 

[silentlove]

Ya. Parents are like that one la. Very skeptical of people doing insurance. Especially if it's their own kids. Sigh. Wanna return to the workforce also not easy le. No more flexibility of arranging your own time.

 

[littleworld]

Hi all, can i know how can i get sole custody, care and control of my son?

 

[Janna rus]

Hi girls! I wanna share with you my problem. 4 years ago i got married in Singapore with muslim Malay man. I was already pregnant. And gave birth to amazing boy. I am foreigher from Russia. I just got my PR. My husband didnt ever care about me and abused me physically and mentally. Cheated me(i cant prove it but i know). He is party boy. Even now when he turn to his 30-s. Maintance was always poor. I got police reports against him and even was applying for ppo but i dropped it. A year ago he was telling him infront of his parents that he sick and tired,he wanna be free,and he cannot be with only one woman. So he said im free to do anything i want. But he didnt file for divorce. I guess its because of HDB house. He keep on applying for it. And dont wanna lose apportunity to get it. I was ltvp+ holder that time. He sponsored my PR because i was begging him for it. Cause i knew that then i will have more chances to win care and control of my child when time will.come and we still have to divorce. Now he is in official relation ship with the girl from Bali. He travel there every month. He keep her pics and letters in our mutual cupboard. So its not a secret anymore. And i dont disturb him. But i am woman and i want to have a family. I want to have more children and be happy. I am thinking about divorce because i cant be his thing anymore. I dont sleep with him and he still controling my life. Even he attached to other woman. And he telling me that if i wanna leave his parents house,i must leave my child with him and his family. Of cos i disagree! Man who cant pick up child from childcare and refuse to give money for hospital when child is very sick and need emergency(had few this kinda situation). Now i am looking for job. To support my PR STATUS and also support myself and my boy. And i want to move from him. I guess i will only afford to rent room.but at least i will have peace of mind. I very worry about my child custody. Importantly that my boy will stay with me. Because he loves me so much and its goin to be stressful for him not to see his mother every day. I know he is goin to eat mac everyday and miss his school. Please,people...any advice i will appreciate!

 

[gladjo]

Hi ..sorry to hear yr plight. .. Syrian Court operates differently n so you may hv to contact Family Court for advise or ... go down to Subcourt, there's a Probono service office (Mon - Fri 9am -5pm) there n you can see a lwayer on same day for advice.

Take care.

 

[Mezgoh]

Hi
I am Newbie... I was very concern over my Daughter custody. My history, I've been divorce since 2012. He didn't give maintenance and as my marriage is short, I didn't took any of the house Nor a single cent (No maintainence collected even if it's stated in the final judgement letter). To expedite the divorce, lawyer says to do joint custody as judges more pro to that.

Recently I have applied for Sole custody! Judge approved. After all, he did not see her Daughter for 3 years plus already.

But in the sole custody, judge will still give reasonable access to the Father.

But some people said sole custody means he don't get to see.

Anyway I am just thinking and asking...
After sole custody,
1) does he still need to pay maintainence to child?
2) I how about changing surname. Do I need his permission?
3) I don't think even I have sole custody, I can stop him from seeing her Daughter.

 

[Mezgoh]

Hi all, can i know how can i get sole custody, care and control of my son?

Now judge more pro towards joint custody unless u prove that he has issues like emotional or anger etc.

 

[bretrayed]

Hi
I am Newbie... I was very concern over my Daughter custody. My history, I've been divorce since 2012. He didn't give maintenance and as my marriage is short, I didn't took any of the house Nor a single cent (No maintainence collected even if it's stated in the final judgement letter). To expedite the divorce, lawyer says to do joint custody as judges more pro to that.

Recently I have applied for Sole custody! Judge approved. After all, he did not see her Daughter for 3 years plus already.

But in the sole custody, judge will still give reasonable access to the Father.

But some people said sole custody means he don't get to see.

Anyway I am just thinking and asking...
After sole custody,
1) does he still need to pay maintainence to child?
2) I how about changing surname. Do I need his permission?
3) I don't think even I have sole custody, I can stop him from seeing her Daughter.

if it's stated in the divorce that he have to pay maintenance and he didn't pay, u can collect all from him backdating to the time of the judge judgement.

changing of surname might not be allowed.

if u have sole custody, he don't pay maintenance, i think u can stop him from seening your daughter

 

[meoowy]

Hi all, I'm new in this forum. I'm undergoing an early stage of divorce and next week is the mediation regards to the kid matter, that guy is also fighting for the care and control of my son. He is going to turn 5 years old in January 2018. I have audio of him admitting his affair, audio of him being emotion unstable during quarrel. I have a lawyer attending the PPO for me. But most likely will drop it as the fee will be costly if this drag. However, I'm very worried about the care and control matter. Usually, how will the judge decide on the care and control of the kid? I'm not emotion unstable and don't have any bad habit. But in his lawyer letter, he stated I never give him sex for 4 years, says demeaning words to him, always quarrel about money matter. Which is partial true however I have the texts conversation he had with my Friend about the quarrel dated from 2015 onwards. I have recorded his daily movement before he moved out of the house because of the PPO. But he will definitely move back once I drop the PPO. Anyone can advice on my next step? I feel helpless when I have so many evidence but seems useless.

 

[sadliving]

Hi. Y drop the ppo. Is the evidence strong? Ppo is very useful especially to show he is violent.
Anyway for care n control, what's the current arrangement? Are u taking care of your son? Is he involve in hia daily care giving for him?

 

[meoowy]

Hi. Y drop the ppo. Is the evidence strong? Ppo is very useful especially to show he is violent.
Anyway for care n control, what's the current arrangement? Are u taking care of your son? Is he involve in hia daily care giving for him?

Cos I don't wish to waste the Cash on PPO as I have a lawyer to help me on this. I'm not sure whether the evidence is strong enough as I have the police report, audio of him saying why you purposely stand in between the door after slamming me so hard against the wall. And his past audios of emotion unstable.
Because of the PPO, he moved out of the house and stays at his parent house and denied everything and accused me of allegation of him doing alll this and he has a lawyer to help him on that case.

Till date, my Mother is the primary caretaker for my kid when I am out for work. And I will fetch my kid after work.

 

[sadliving]

Persist with the PPO. It will be useful for divorce n care n control if u get it.

The court will usually let the current arrangement to continue unless something drastic happen during this period of time

 

[goggyforyoz]

if it's stated in the divorce that he have to pay maintenance and he didn't pay, u can collect all from him backdating to the time of the judge judgement.

changing of surname might not be allowed.

if u have sole custody, he don't pay maintenance, i think u can stop him from seening your daughter

1) to see his daughter is up to you if in the court order did mentioned that he can have assessed. But if you don't want him to see, next you have to consider his behaviors. No matter what, divorce is two adults thing, dun drag the little one in.

2) if he did not pay maintenance which he supposed to do it, u can go back to the family court and ask them how to claim. He could be sent to jail too.

 

[meoowy]

Persist with the PPO. It will be useful for divorce n care n control if u get it.

The court will usually let the current arrangement to continue unless something drastic happen during this period of time

I wish too. But the cost of the lawyer affected me greatly. However I would like to understand the chances of care and control will be given to who when the kid is 5 years old.

 

[sadliving]

If currently child mother is the care giver it will be given to the mother

 

[goggyforyoz]

I wish too. But the cost of the lawyer affected me greatly. However I would like to understand the chances of care and control will be given to who when the kid is 5 years old.

If you are a working mum and you have the ability to look after your child, and normally they will award to the mother for child under 12 or 21. Can’t remember.

I hv full custody of my daughter when I divorced in 2005. She was 3yo. I’m working and I have helper at home. I have all the ability to get full custody.

Try to talk to your ex not to fight the custody. Cos it’s harmful to the poor child.

 

[wendy_reborn]

Normally court will give joint custody with care n control given to the caregiver.
Dont waste money to get full custody but fight for care n control

 

[goggyforyoz]

Do you think parents should ask the child?

Can. But too young a kid they can’t decide.

But parents should not fight for children just for the sake of their own ego.

 

[wendy_reborn]

Can. But too young a kid they can’t decide.

But parents should not fight for children just for the sake of their own ego.

Many parens wan the custody not only want ego, they want to get revenge and sometime also they refuse to pay much maintenance for the child and in their mind, the child interest come last.

 

[meoowy]

Thank you all. I just had the mediation yesterday and he has given up the care and control and would have access and joint custody. I feel relief now, although he is not paying even half of the child maintance. But it is okay as Long as the child is with me.
I'm blessed and throughly happy. He will be able to retain the house once he pays me back the 35% of the current market share value of the current house.

 

[Winterpooh]

Hi

I would like to get some view n opinion on my case below

I have yet to get a lawyer

Still looking for a good one

I moved out of in-laws house.

This has been communicated and agreed by me and husband.

But we have 2 kids, during this period of separation, the kids arrangement was friday night to sunday noon staying with me.

As for the separation, no documents has been formally filed yet , it was verbally agreed.

With this situation, can i fight for kids care and concern when i file for divorce with the ground of unreasonable behaviour? It the above ground is not strong to be valid,
it will be separation of 3years, can the document date be backdated?

Background
Married on 23mar2013
2kids aged 2yrs old and 4yrs old

No property under us but 1 condod under husnand and his father

 

[insecure_me]

Hi all, I'm new in this forum. I'm undergoing an early stage of divorce and next week is the mediation regards to the kid matter, that guy is also fighting for the care and control of my son. He is going to turn 5 years old in January 2018. I have audio of him admitting his affair, audio of him being emotion unstable during quarrel. I have a lawyer attending the PPO for me. But most likely will drop it as the fee will be costly if this drag. However, I'm very worried about the care and control matter. Usually, how will the judge decide on the care and control of the kid? I'm not emotion unstable and don't have any bad habit. But in his lawyer letter, he stated I never give him sex for 4 years, says demeaning words to him, always quarrel about money matter. Which is partial true however I have the texts conversation he had with my Friend about the quarrel dated from 2015 onwards. I have recorded his daily movement before he moved out of the house because of the PPO. But he will definitely move back once I drop the PPO. Anyone can advice on my next step? I feel helpless when I have so many evidence but seems useless.

Hihi,

Can I ask why did your hub eventually give up on the care and control? Did he issue a summon to you?

 

[insecure_me]

Hi All,

I need advise. My hub has issued a summon to me for sole care & control for my 2 children. As both of them have been under the care of my MIL most of the time after childcare, is it really possible that he can get care & control just because of that? My kids are 9 and 11 now.