Advice needed - My husband is having affair with a China Woman

Hi,
when I found out abt my husband affairs, I went for check up! I dont want to find out that I caught any fatal disease in future when I found peace within myself.
Lucky nothing.
I have a husband who loves women, and I think friend influence is a factor here. He has a married friend who fools around a lot.
I found out alot of things abt him, which I am so wrong to trusted him so much in the past.
After the affair stop, he still chats girls up in those networking site, pretending to be single.
I am very torn in staying and leaving, cos of my baby.
Although the previous affair has ended, but he still very active in those site, which i fear one day one of it became another affair.
 


I think we must all gather together to sign a pettion to the goverment to tighten the laws against all this Chinese Nationals coming to singapore to breakup the family. It is too often i hear a marriage breaking up because of China Women
 
I would much prefer to intorduce a law for adultery. Have a punishment serious enough that they would think twice abt cheating.
 
hi all,
After reading this thread I found myself belonging here. My hubby had an affair with a prc but the thing is that they noe each other in china ant not in singapore and there is v little I can do.. Worst was I lost my child few mths ago. And Nw I a lost mood. They have been together almost a yr bt she is not in singapore and what can I do? My hubby will look for her when his is on business trip. have found out that he wanted to marry her. I'm thinking of stopping them by not filling any divorce so that they can't get marry. Pls advice wat I'm doing is rite.
 
what is the use of holding onto him if he don't love u anymore. Just don't let him use the excuse that u are the cause of divorce.
 
confuse, i was like u. Thinking that I can stop him, but it's really really difficult.

I would advice u to get a PI. My husband also claim to go oversea for business and in the end i found out actually he have a mistress there.

I hired a PI and get the evidence against him. Luckly i got the evidence, cos he filed divorce against me and I was able to use the evidence to counter his divorce.

If u are really interested in getting a PI, pm me.
 
does what he wrote in note book consider as an evidence? He has book which wrote all his ex's record. N he did wrote all his spending a when they r together. He did talk to one of the china gal's friend on their relationship. Can all this be treated as evidence? I even noe where he keeps photos of both of them. With all this do I need a pi?
 
I don.t think that's enough. You will need a pi report and photos to show they are together. So tat there is no doubt tat they are having affair
 
yes, u can divorce base on just a note book or dairy. Have to get evidence to prove they are having affair.

Do that women know he is married?

why not found out who and where that women is and tell him that he is your husband.
 
hi sharon,
She noe tat he is married. I'm contemplating if I shld contact her. Cos I noe my hubby still loves mi, its just that he loves her more.
 
yes, some men have dilema, they can choose to love one or more women at one times. But it's not fair to share your husband with her.

ao are u taking any action?
 
Hi confused,
your husband goes to china, is it for his own business?

my husband affair stopped only bcos of he changed job.

anyway, if he really married her over there, u can charged him with bigamy, and the woman will be barred from SG.
And the evidence that she knew your husband married status is very important.
 
I just get to know, another of my friend fall victim to those chinese women who is here as 'Singer'. My friend husband spend few thousands dollars on the PRC, and my friend found out, she was devasted as the money was from their joint account.
 
Hi,
if he is taking money from the joint account, you stop put a stop to it, like close it or you draw all of it out and put to your own account 1st. stop him from spending anymore money on the PRC. Before deciding to talk with him.

if he still wants to support the PRC with his own money, nothing much you can do, but you have to protect your own interest 1st.
 
yes, you and your kid interest come first. If u don't make sure u got the joint account money, he will empty it no time.

It's not whether u divorce him or not, find out the truth first. If u really fiond out he is involve with a PRC, and u still want to save the marriage, u can get ICA or MOM to blacklist that women.
 
I read about so many of such cases.. It's so frightening! Right at my doorstep.. I've been with my hubby for 6yrs but could still lose my hubby in a heartbeat..

I hope the precautions I've instilled in DH works.. Ever since I've been with him, I've reminded him again and again of what would happen if he strays.. Lucky for me, my family and I are the strong ones as compared to his side.. Keep reminding him that I won't die without him but he will regret miserably without me (force him to imagine the consequences loh).. Evil of me but will scared de leh.. Of course I give my word to do my best as a wife, a mother and a best friend..

Up to till, it's been working great.. In the past, he wouldn't like it if I want to check his handphone or email or computer, but after "training and getting used to" he won't argue liao.. Now, it's a very natural thing for us liao.. Of course he can also do the same to me.. The vice versa thing.. If he has nothing to hide, why cannot check? If he dare to fight over this "privacy" thing, I'll drag parents in first.. Make him feel guilty! Transparency is very important is a good marriage.. Nothing to hide! Not even money! Even "privates" also exposed to wife.. What's so secretive about handphone or computer?

I hope everything will work out in the end for all the affected women here.. Stay Strong!! Stand up to them if need to!

P/S: I'm a SAHM and yet my DH dares not stray cos he already knows what will happen if he does.. I will still leave him even though he's the most important thing to me in this whole world.. I'm a very stubborn woman.. =X
 
Pearly
Not all men can be like us. Transparent and honest to them. My hubby dun like me looking thru his text and even ans his call on his behalf too. Claims that there is no trust on him. Even they lie without changing face expression..
 
I'm very curious.. Were your partners this way before marriage? Is this the guy u fell in love with? Chose to spend the rest of your life with? Secretive? Flirtatious? Not transparent at all? Lying? How and why do they change after marriage/kids? Is it because we changed? Or something changed that they cannot adapt?

Although there are stress on our relationship due to work & finance, especially after baby arrived, our characters are still the same..

I'm not pin-pointing.. Sorry if I offended anyone.. I'm really just curious..
 
Hi everyone,

Looks like straying husbands are evrywhere.

I need help!!!! Can someone receommend me a reliable PI. I need to gather ammunition before I declare the marriage over..
 
just get to know now those China WOMEN can come here offically for 6 mths on Singer pass. They use the singer pass as cover but actually they are doubling up as a hostess in those lounge, and there are more and more of those lounge springing up in singapore. I know this thru a friend who husband was informed with one of those 'singer'.

I really wonder whether our MOM knows of those activity, they should know, but how come no action is being taken.
 
Happened to chance upon this thread and yes, I have also lost my hb to the foreign talent...wondering did if MCYS or MOM should do a survey to see how many happy families have been broken by all these PRCs..
 
Dear All, has been reading thr threads that talks abt strayed hubby, and to my surprised, I have found 1 person here doing exactly what I am doing, its Pearly!! I strongly agreed to her suggestions as I am doing the same. Yes, though its sound cunning, but dont know y, it works. I can say, nobody agrees to this, even my parent, my family and friends, but it just works. So now, all of them also surrender to me. We prayed to 'Guan Yin' at home, so everytime I heard his friends divorced becos of women lah all this, I will purposely say in front of 'Guan Yin' that if he go strayed, I will gurantee that he lose both me and his precious daughter, not only that I will visit the temple everyday, and ask GOD and complaint and make sure his business fail too and that the day he choose to leave us, it will be the day he loses everything in his life. Like she say also, its a vice versa thingy, I chk his HP, he can also chk mine..Even during our ROM, his KPO friend go and tell his ex-gf, then she say she wanna come, and I say okie, just come lor..Then she still like wanting to bitch around with him, then I will say, only that old woman will want to bitch around with u lor, old man. U know very well, in my heart u are just a piece of shit!!Maybe to many of u all, this sound offending talking to ur hubby like that, but this is the way we talk to each other, that keeps our relationship so strong. Even in front of his friend, we talk like we r quarrelling, but in actual fact, we r not..We just find that talking this way is interestings and it makes us look forward to talking to each other always..A relationship need to keep going if there is communications now and then. So, women here, find something to do together, something that can keep communication going, so that the 1st thingy he will want to do after work is to go home and chat with u, then he wont spend his time at pubs talking to PRC and they wont go strayed right?? My Hubby, ever since we got married suddenly lost interest in going to PUB, even if got go, its a friends BD, and we will always go together leh. In fact, almost all of his friends are divorced one by one, they always ask him y we got so much to talk??They got nothing to say to the wife so go PUB everyday, then end up, Hahahaha, u all know right??
The morale of the story, communications plays a big part in maintaining a family...
 
hi game,i am in the same situation as you.
i m not local so i dont have much friend here so i am trying to expend my social circle. anyone here, if yours dun mind, care to be friends? pm me,
thanks

Hi all, please pm some PI contac.Thanks
 
hi all

anyone here can tell me what supporting envidence to complain MOM and ICA for black list the china women? pls emeil thanks
 
strong lady, u don't accept pm.

To blacklist china women if she is invlove with your husband, u need photgraphs of them together and PI 's report.
 
Hi Joelle,
So glad to know that I'm not the only one doing "evil stuff" like that! LOL.. But it really helps right!! Especially since we practice from the very beginning... hehe.. I think our DH are "awake" and appreciate us when we keep "reminding" them of the consequences.. Then they will not fall into the habit of taking us for granted..

Men also very "jian" or muddle-headed one la.. We have to be strong and play it tough sometimes also.. Cannot let them think they can step all over us! haha..

Btw, Joelle, I also have 1 daughter! xD hehe

Join this thread! xD http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/2779681.html?1271250632 I think it suits us.. hehe
 
Regretted,
I don't only "remind" my hubby about the downside.. I love him as well.. So he knows that those are not "threats".. xD Men need to be reminded or they tend to forget easily, regardless of good or bad "reminders".. Can't deny that.. I also have to keep showing him that I love him! haha..
 
yes, your method is good. But remember this, like i say, if constantly reminding him, it will backfire. if that men doesn't stray. Some of them will even take it as noise.
 
I think u missed out the part where I "remind" him that I love him as well.. xD It's all a balance.. Of course can't be too naggy over the negative stuff..

But isn't it better than not doing anything at all? It takes effort for a relationship to work, much less a marriage..
 
pearly, i am a man. From friend around me, many wifes think they understand and they are 'smarter', in the end actually the husband outplay them.
 
Well, maybe their men are just more shrewd and experienced.. I'm just saying it works for my relationship and it's very worth giving it a try..

Disclaimer : Might not work for everyone else.. xD
 
i have been a 100% good wife, friend, and soul mate.

he still betray me.........

what's so good about those china woman............
 
sad ending,

whether u are a 100% good wife or nt, sadly it is nt up to u to say but him to say and judge. in ur view, u hv been 100% but mayb in his view, there are something about u tat he dun really like....

just like my hb, he feel he hv done everything to make up to me after his straying...but in my view effort was not enough....
 


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