Support group - Miscarriages

Hi ladies

I was at wk 6 but naturally mc tdy. Now lying on my hospital ward wondering wat will happen next.

Gynae say might nt nd D&C as I passed out the sac naturally.

Feeling kinda of lost...
 


bb regine
Hugs for you..i suppose you're still having the flow now? Hmm..it'll be good to ask for more days of MC to rest at home..to recover from this episode both physically and emotionally..cry if you must, it'll help..
 
Regine,
Big hug!! It not easy to go thru..
Believe ur gynea will give u ard 2 week leaves, if not enough u can ask for more during ur next appt.
Try to do a mini confirement. Keep urself warm at all times. Everyday drink LRD...
Now u might be in shock n couldn't react to anything.
When u ready, cry as much u wish too. It a part of relieving our pain. Talk to us n share.. Tat will helps too. Big hug!
 
regine,

take good care and rest well ... hope u will feel better soon...

min81,

wish u luck~! all the best !! shower tomomi's baby dust to u ...

i also got problem with in laws ..but there is nothing i can do... yes i have a house already but hubby don't wan us to move back ( i admit he meant well cos he dont wan me to do any household chores, but he is not the kind that will do it even if i cant )...
i am really going crazy in this house sometimes, one incident which happen 3 days ago... pick my son back from sch, same routine~ help him take the fish my mil prepared and went to steam it... there were 3 types of fish in the plate ... after finish steaming, i realized there is a smell, i really dunno izzit meant to smell that way cos too many kind of fish and i only recognize salmon and not the rest... so as usual i take the fish let my son eat , while i eat the rest cos she prepared so much...
THEN~!!!! while feeding halfway, MIL came back... ask me if i steamed the fish.. i say yes, feeding now ... then she said ~ did u realized there is a smell in the fish? izzit 腥味？ 。。 then i say i dunno what kind of smell is that but i know there is a smell...( cos if u all know, some fish simply got a certain kind of smell , but i dont recognise the other 2 fish so i thought it was meant that way) ... then this is when i really go crazy~~~ she SAID: i already smell something funny when i prepare the fish in the morning.. dunno whether issit EDIBLE, eat already dunno will have STOMACHACHE anot ... the i went : if the food cant be eaten then why do u still wanna put there for me to steam?! .. i admit she was shocked i talk back like this .. then she kept quiet then ask me throw the bowl of fish and rice cos she worried my son stomach cant take it and she is scared the fish is really spoilt ... then i say : already feed halfway , jus let him finish then (i admit i say that to spike somehow ).. but she keep ask me throw ... i was angry the whole night, they dont seem to get worried that their food hygiene will affect me as well? i ate the fish also ..~!!!
i really wanna go home ... i dont hate her but i really cannot stand ppl with such kind of food hygiene .. i can't go back to 娘家 cos i dont have.. mum remarried and got her own family ... daddy house got 1 room extra cos brother move to his wife house to stay and rent the room out ...i miss my home .. i dont like to have conflict with my pil cos i never like to disrespect them ( they are good pil except food hygiene is bad ) but conflict jus seem to built up ... if there is chance i will tell u all the 'floating broccoli story ' ... i tink u all already know the ' sour rice story' and today's 'fish story' .. if i got another chance i tell u all ' sticky potatoes story' and 'steamboat story' .. last but not least ' mini dustbin story ' ...

tell me which u all interested to know =) then soon u will find out ur pil have good food hygiene ..
 
Thanks peep.

I cried out many many times.. Emotionally like roller coaster. Sometimes behave being strong when dr or nurse talk to me but back of me, I feel part of me died.. Even it's considered a very early stage, jus a sac with no bb form no hb... Is still a bb for me.

I stared blank while examine it. Thinking deep n hard to figure wat was it. It's jus fall out frm me so sudden after I went for a hormones stabilizer jab like 2-3hr ago. Why is this happening. Eventually after staring like 10mins, I took up a bag n pick it n keep it ( gynae told me if anything fall out, I shld nt flush but keep for him.) I knew deep that all is gone..

Ladies u all r strong woman. Nvr underestimate a woman or a mother strength but I feel weak deep dwn though I know my family nd me. My lil boy still nd his mom but I can't prepare to be e 1 I used to be coz "he/she" my lil bb was part of me in my body be4.
 
Regine, big bear hugs for u. Cry all u wan. We r humans Afterall & I believe crying is the best healing remedy. Rem to do a mini confinement ya. Big big hugs
 
Tomomi,
Right now u are pregnant, dun let such a matter affect ur mood.
Anything just allow ur hubby do the talking, or dun eat anything that u felt fishy.
Inlaws really can be hard to handle, they so used to lifestyle.
Asking them to change is a torture to them.

BB Regine,
Everyone here been thru ur stage.
When time slowly pass, ur pain will be eases..
Now allow urself cry and sorrow as long u wish too. Big hug
 
Bbregine

Take care, Hugzz
Cry if you must…. Its perfectly normal for us to grieve.
I totally understand how you feel at the Very moment of the loss.
It is like People can tell me, Yes, I can still have BB in future, because I am still young, healthy and Alive.
But the Fact is, No matter how many BB I am going to have in future, they are all not going to be the Same BB that I had lost ….. and this BB had been with me for nearly 2 mths, I love him and had feelings for him… but I had lost him forever….
This is normal, all of us felt this way…. Give yourself Few Months to Grieve…

You will definitely get over it !! and After that, Have Faith to TTC again…
Life is still full of Hope. And you Still have your Little Boy with you, you still have your Hubby. Stay strong for your Child. U Know what…. I really believe our lost BB will come back to be our Children again.
 
Tonomi,

I really feel sorry for you, living with your in-law. With a kid around + the fact that you are pregnant, why is she still offering you all stale foods? Its so unhealthy to eat them. You have to be extra careful cos you are pregnant now. You should eat more nutritious foods.
 
Regine , big hug.. We all noe how it feels
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I lost mine 2 wks ago too, at wk 6 .. Everyone who I spoke to thought I fell or something.. But no, it just happen and there is no explanation
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there's so many questions we had but we know there will never be answers
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just cry as much as u want now.. Time will take away the tears..
This forum gave me great strength coz everyone in here knows how it feels .. Hang in there !
Soon we will all get tomomi baby dust!!
 
Hi, just want to share. I got miscarriage twice. One before my first baby and 2nd miscarriage 5 months ago. I have been seeing TCM since my first baby. He is a good Sinseh but last 2 days he misdiagnosed that i am pregnant. My menses visted me yesterday! sigh..
 
Bb,
Keep Jiayou... Soon we will meet our bb again.

Rian,
U too.. *^^*
Let enjoy the weekend girls, meantime kick away all the trouble.
 
Hi ladies, after more than a month mensus finally came. After all this time I'm starting to feel stronger physically. Plan to start jogging next week!
Haiz... After reading all the mil posts... Are your mil all full time housewives also??? Trying to see if there's a trend. Back to staying with in laws now, mil asked if its because my womb weak?! Then Say until machiam i barren or something. When I was discerning that I had internal bleeding for more than a week and it was life threatening. I think she would trade my life for a grandchild anytime. Oh well, life goes on... Live for ourselves.
 
Shoppixe,
Congrat on ur menses!!
Better dun jog wor. My TCM dun recommend us to jog, only brisk walk. As it will affect our womb.

Yes, my mil is a housewife ever since her retirement age.
Are u planning to stay with her? Can't imaging how to face my MIL everyday.
All I can say, we are DIL. Not their flesh n blood, so they wouldn't treat us as fairly.
Did ur hb knew what ur mil say to u? He got to put a stop by talking to his mother. U will be staying with her wor, how to endure. Nobody wanted this MC, our pain is ten times more then others. What made them have the right to say all this. Big hug!
 
Jhw,
I'm going Dr Su on fri... I can print it out n show Dr Su.
Which recipe are u interested in cooking?
The abalone soup look yummy wor. But ex.. Hehe!
 
Omg! I hate coming back to his place early! Just when I thought I've seen everything i was wrong! Hubby has a fish tank in the room. If u see a dead fish inside what would u do? Take it out of course!!! No, mil left it dead in the tank for the weekend so that the it can rot and stinkify the room?!
Imagine how shock I was when I saw the tank, first reaction was to take it out, thinking that mil was unaware. Then when hubby came into the house she proudly announces oh your 1 fish turn le. Huh?!?!?!! And mind you it's a small tank with 3 fishes the largest one died. Now the room stinks the tank water is brown! I am speechless... Lazy also got limit one... I wanna get out... Sorry for ranting... Really ruins my Sunday.
 
Jhw,
Nah... I shd thanks u, i able to steal the recipe. Hehe!
Tomolo I reach office, will print it out n show Dr Su.
 
Shoppixe,
She used to do nothing at home?
Some elderly wouldn't care much bcos pets is not theirs.
Previously my hb own a hamster, it pass away while my hb at wrk. My mil can totally ignore n wait for my Fil to bury it in the evening.
 
shoppixe, Celest

i think my MIL opposite
my hubby's hamster haven't die... and she throw the whole cage down rubbish chute.... because she hated small animals.
my FIL run down to find the hamster... and bring it back... two days later, it died..
my FIL told my hubby that my MIL threw the whole cage down.... my MIL said "you can bluff them say the hamster die liao mah, why must tell the truth"

i feel that this woman is very scary ever since that incident...

after my miscarriage, she didn't show a single concern... even ask her what should i eat for confinement, she said she dunno... ask me to eat plain food... then later on, i recalled, my hubby's auntie ever told me before that My MIL used to help her during her confinement, cooked all the Tonic for her...

then i realised, oh I am not your flesh and blood, so u treat me like an outsider...

since my MC, i never go back once... but my stupid hb every week call his mum, and will force me to take the phone & say hello to her..

sorry for the ranting
 
btw, i happen to read in a library book that Vitamin B6 is very very important to prevent miscarriage. There are some women with low B6 level in body and miscarry...any place where we can test if we are low on b6?
 
I shudder to think how wld my kids be brought up by mil. Yes its a fish, its still a living thing. The other 2 fishes are still alive... U let them stay w a dead one for an entire weekend? N after reading above, hamsters are living things too, so cruel!! U know mil volunteered to take care of my baby already. In fact here was how the conversation went 'oh next time when u have baby just let us take care on weekdays. Then u all can rest, baby won disturb ur sleep... Weekend then u all bring back and 'play'. Like tht better. Hmmm... Then ah maybe your baby also won't recognize you hor... Hahahahaha...' why like that?!?!?!! Havent give birth she also plan on snatching my baby away? She really laughed heartily some more?! Very funny meh?! Now i alrd start thinking how to reject her 'kind offer' in the future. *stressed* any ideas?
 
Oh I just got my keys to my new place... Thats why mil said leave our baby w them and out we go to our new house. And how to tell hubby? Tell him to ask his mum to shut up? I just hope she don't say too much.
She has been a stay at home mum since hubby was given birth. I was expecting higher levels of cleanliness ard but you know... It's really quite bad. Their kitchen windows were layered with years of oil until I buay tahan I go and clean. She does not do laundry daily... Clothes dried in the balcony and if it rains.. Clothes will kana the rain and finally dry loh. Faints.
 
Jhw, shoppixe,

Wah it was kinda scary reading about your MILs.. I guess, maybe just try to minimise interaction?

Shoppixe,

I guess if u insist want to take care of your children on your own, don't think she can force you.. Or how abt your own parents? Are they able to help? I can imagine how stressed u must be after hearing what she said..
 
Shoppixe,
Yes loh. Better for hubby to do the talking then one day we burst out.
On mother's day, my hb bring her out for lunch n she start to rant abt my MC. Saying my MC is a small deal.. She been thru MC before. My hubby wasn't comfortable of her way of talking n told her off. From that day onward, she keep her mouth shut.

Jhw,
Ur mil so evil! That a living thing wor...!!
How she able to do such a horrible thing n yet sleep peacefully.
Omg... Dun ever think this type of person will take care of ur child.
 
jhw
thanks for the link! Im craving for abalone now haha

shoppixe
maybe just tell her straight ''thank you for your kind offer, but i prefer to bring up my child myself to experience the joys of motherhood..you know to witness his/her 1st steps, 1st words etc''
happy.gif
 
Ladies,

Ask u all ah.. Cos my hubby and i not very sure.. So when my SIL gives birth, are we like supposed to give a gift like hamper of 'bu' stuff, then get a separate gift for the bb's 1st mth? My hubby was thinking of just giving ang pao or vouchers during 1st mth celebration.. He was kinda blur when i asked if need to get sil something when she gives birth.. He said need meh.. Is it rude not to get something? Cos now i not wking, and hosp fees for iui and ivf not cheap, we're very careful with spending..
 
Oh yay! Jhw, u sudden remind me of my mil's evil doing as well.

Altot he very weak but his wills power to live is strong. Ever since dr discover his lung cancer, he drag more then 1 year. While my Fil was on the last stage of lung cancer, Dr told us that my Fil could not live more then 1 week. Everyone was so depress, Inculding me. Bcos my fil very dote n close to me. My mil didn't visit my Fil for more then 3 times, while he was at hospital for more then 3 weeks. Finally the Dr decided it time for my Fil to rest at home, bcos there nothing they can do. Meaning he might pass away within 1 week.

My mil so evil, she stop us from fetching my Fil back home.
She saying she doesn't know how to look after him. But we already told her we are going engage a private nurse, she insisted. My poor dying to be FIL had to stay at One of his step daughter house. I thought of fetching my Fil to my house but my hubby stop me cos my mil didnt like it too. Soon, the following night my Fil was again send to hospital due to his short breathe, he need morphine. My mil didn't visit him again, only until the day he pass away.

From tat day onward, I learn that my mil is a heartless person.
She only cares abt herself n ignore others. Even her own husband.
Chill me to think of that...
 
Min81,
No lah. We didn't give anything to my SIL when she give birth. Only visited her loh.
Only until her baby full mth party, then we give a hongbao.
 
Celestine,

Okie thanks! Then we'll just wait for bb's 1st mth.. Yesterday during mil's birthday lunch, my bil reminded us again the bb will come anytime soon and that he'll msg us.. So i guess it'll be real soon..

Reading abt ur mil.. Really scares me.. But that's her hubby rite.. Haiz..

Jhw,

My hubby also got a shock when i told him abt ur hamster.. I think he'll go ballistic if anyone hurts our doggy..

Btw, are u better now? Remember to drink more water k..
 
min
your sil gave birth already right? or not yet? if not yet, then ok to give something say a fruit basket or some chicken essence if you are to visit her but then totally up to yourself, but i think that's optional lah cos when my sil gave birth my family also didn't give anything just visit but then ang pow for my niece/ nephew's 1st mth celebration..think good enough lah..depending on how close you both are..my 2 cents
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min81

if you want, maybe just wait for your SIL's bb full month then you give an angbao... usually can like that de...

Ya... my MIL shocked me that time too.. how can one be so cruel to small animals.. even when the hamster died, i felt sad too..
After that incident, i start to feel differently about her....i feel that this woman is very scary...

i am now well le... back to my tonics haha
how about you? All the best to your IUI !!
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bring some baby dust to us heehee

Celest,
Looks like your MIL even more evil than mine..to do this to her own husband, a human being somemore...

My MIL treat her sister so good during confinement but treat me differently for my miscarriage... i ask her what to cook for confinement, she can tell me she dunno.. my hubby even laugh and say his mum knows de just that she lazy to advice... how can be lazy, i am her DIL ok?? maybe because like what you say, we are not their flesh and blood.

Chris,
Let us know whether it taste good after u try the recipe hee hee
 
I just hope mil stops bringing up anything abt the baby I lost. I don't understand why it's even a topic of discussion at all. My parents nvr ever bring it up, all they do is ask how am I feeling.
Min I think full month then give can le. At least for me. Normally the mother eats the confinement food and already prepare/bought all the tonics they want to eat le.
 
jhw
haha think no chance to cook abalone cos i don't hv it here at home
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else others like wolfberries ok lah can fried rice
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wah reading all your stories abt your MILs..sounds very scary leh..xia si wo
 
ChrisL,

Not given birth yet, but 38 wks plus already, so will be anytime soon.. We're not close.. Hehe.. Cos bil's attitude has been getting worse over the yrs and i know my hubby prefers to keep his distance.. Will visit unless during 2ww.. Then hubby will go and i just msg..

When will be ur 1st scan for FET?
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Jhw, shoppixe, celestine, chrisL,

Thanks for all the advice!
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ChrisL,

Best of luck to u!! Mine is thur!
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Jhw,

Glad to hear you're all good now
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I seem to be having a slight cough now.. Comes up occasionally.. No phlegm though, just like ticklish suddenly.. Drinking lots of water and hope it can go off without any medication..
 
Chris, min, good luck to both of you!!!!!
Keep us updated!! More good news to come!!!

Min,
drink lotsa warm water and dun eat oranges..
Sleep early n may u get well soon for everything ...
 

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