Support group - Miscarriages

Jhw mine was natural mc, doc just told me to let it flow out no blood test required..nothing just a v scan...I'm very sure since you mc on 17 June, the hcg sure will STILL be reflected in your bloodtest. Since doc already did a scan and say no etopic and no more sac etc then my thought is that you don't need to do more ex. blood tests..I think it's redundant loh...and frm what you said I believe they want your easy money...
 


Hi jhw,

Mine was d&c.. Only did a scan after that.. I remember my doc saying that hcg has to return to zero before can start trying again.. But unless there's any complication, i think they won't do blood test to check hcg cos it's not necessary..
 
Jhw,
If u wan ensure, best is to another Dr for a 2nd opinion.
Duno if u can take back ur medical report.
If able, show it to another Dr, he/she will give u better pic.
 
thanks gals... u know what... i just cried after reading your replies...sorry for being so emo.
it seem like everything can provoke my tears now..
and i feel very thankful and touched that everyone of you take time to reply me....
mine was natural, and i was surprised when chris say she was natural and did not do much blood test.
my second blood test indeed drop hcg level...and each blood test is very expensive...

Chris, do you mind if i ask you?
how many blood test did you do last time?
 
jhw as im not in sg, the doctor here just told me to rest home and let it bled out..they never do any bloodtests or whatsoever. Just a vaginal scan after the placenta/sac came out the day after (in the hospital to confirmed that everything was out.) So it should be ok to just not go back anymore since you already took scans/bloodtest and antibotics..i didn even had any medications at all. It's normal to bleed in the next few couple of days or even spottings thereafter as your hormones are trying to regulate themselves..

*Hugs* for you in this grey period of time in your life..let your tears flow..grieve over and start afresh again soon sister..
 
thanks Chris
just now i called kkh to change my appt to monday to do just one last blood test.
they say that they scared my HCG nv drop to zero and might have infections, so I must go down.
so for my health sake, i will just go down.
moreover they have the test results of my fetus tissue.... so i have to go down listen.
so just once and for all.... i also got to check if they can give me one more week medical leave... i really cannot go back to work... i feel miserable.

i ask them if i could have the fetus back.. they say No, because i did not state that I want the fetus back on the first visit.
I feel damn terrible and miserable now...
i cannot even have my bb back and they have already dispose it with those bio wastes.
i am a useless mum.... i cannot protect my bb well and he is gone...
 
jhw,

Dun think that, its not your fault. I did not keep the foetus cos i did not know it can be requested. Well, if u want to memorate him, u can use other methods. Like u mention before, u wanted to grow a forget-me-not. That is sweet. You have to buck up, ok. Its not good for your health.
 
princess.... and all sisters here.
can you all teach me how you all get over eventually? i seem to be so useless and still crying like an emotion freak.
How long did you guys take to get over these?
and how many cycles did you wait to TTC again?
thanks so much for all your patience.
did you all say prayers for your bb last time? no matter what religion? i am willing to do everything i can to pray for him for a better afterlife.
 
Hi jhw,

I had a miscarriage last year. Posted then but have been a silent reader mainly.

We can understand your pain. Don't further stress yourself by rushing yourself to "fully recover" mentally. You need time to grief and grieving takes times.

Different people need different methods. You explore and find the way best for you. For me, I find that keeping talking about it helped me to accept that my baby is gone. Of course, you need to find a supportive audience. I needed to vocalise all my guilt, my fears, my sadness etc. The process of talking allowed me to straightened out my thinking.

Engaging in hobbies also helped to focus my mind else where. Lastly, keep the hope that you will conceive again and you will be a better mum cos you have felt pain.

Whatever you do, don't force yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Warn your husband that you need to grieve and ask for his support.

Jiayou, sister!
 
Personally, I think there is no specific timeline. Setting a timeline may add onto your stress? My suggestion is to set little milestones, eg feel like going to enjoy a walk in the park etc. Although sometimes you have to force yourself a bit.

If I remember correctly, my western doc said I can start trying after my first af but I waited till my tcm gave me the green light, after 2 mths. Try when you are ready physically and psychologically.

I read about some sisters performing rites for their bb in this thread. I didn't anything.
 
Sorry. A bit naggy. It is ok to cry. Crying is a grieving process. I still tear when I think of my baby at times even after more than a year. I am not sure whether I am normal but I think I will never fully "recover". I probably can laugh and be happy with life but will still be sad when I think about my lost baby.
 
dana... sorry that you have to write here when you were all along a silent reader... my situation might have reminded u and all the sisters here of your pain too... so terribly sorry....

I will go find back my old hobbies and take part in them... i will start to get a TCM to tiaoyang my body back...maybe i should also get a Gynae first for prenatal care....i also intend to write a blog for my lost bb, plant forget-me-not in memory of him.... thanks to all the sisters here who are willing to give me direction where to head to.

actually after i sit down and think again and again... i realised that what i worried most is not whethter i can conceive a second one again... but more of worrying where my lost bb gone to? is it in a safe place now away from suffering?
my heart pains whenever i think of this.
 
Jhw, don't be sorry. We r here to support each other. I could feel your pain from what u wrote. Just wanted to help by posting.

Good that you have sorted out what is your worry. Regarding where your baby has gone, it' depends on your religion. But I think it is definitely a better place where there is no pain and suffering.
 
Jhw,
Dun blame urself over it. Nobody wanted such incident to happen.
I didn't keep my foetus bcos I didn't know that it possible too.
When I think of that it hurt too, aft a while, I felt that it better to let go then cling on it. Wouldn't help me on anywhere.

Dun pressure urself on any timing.
When u slowly give time to heal, slowly one day u will realize that u already move on. Let nature take the course. Keep remind urself, Althought u had lost ur dear, but look ard u. There someone beside u that need ur attention as well. Look at the one ard you n slowly u wouldn't focus on ur sorrow. For me n my hubby, we had a walk on the park n plan for a short break to oversea too. It really does open ur mind n relax urself.

Now focus on recovering ur body asap, then TTC.
Having a MC is very harmful to ur body then delivery.
Ur body needs to be in good shape then u can have a good home for ur bb inside. Jiayou dear!
 
thanks dears... and everyone

i cried hard just now and after reading your comments, i decided to wake up from Pessimism... find someone to do a good prayer for my baby, and have a good closure of everything... i need to live well for my parents and my husband who care so much about me.

meanwhile, i hope you can also recommend me some good prenatal vitamins that i can start buying to eat.... i am taking folic acid now...

:)
 
JHW,
Pls dun be sorry. It a channel for us to support each other. HUG HUG~!
Everyone here been what you had gone thru & we understand ur pain.
It okay to cry out loud. Crying is a process of healing, If u dun cry, then it needs to be worried. *^^*

I didn't had any vitamins. I know that ChrisL took some kind of supplement. Believe ChrisL can guide u more. *^^*
The only i did was, drinking as much Red date/longen drink.
Oh.. a tablespoon of DOM, before i sleep. The Dom is too strong for me, so i will mix with 2 tablespoon of warm water.
After drinking it, i can feel my body temp rise up for a few hrs. It helps to circulate ur blood in ur body.
 
Princess
Yes I try to drink almost everynight, when I remember. Hehe!
For the day when my period arrive, I stop drinking until it clear. My tcm also recommend me to drink it. It really warm up my body aft drinking it. Think is the blood circulation. If u wan mix with water, best is using warm water.

For pregnant lady, I'm not sure if able to drink it.
As u now IUI right?
Maybe ask ur TCM too.
 
jhw
i am currently taking royal jelly+ vit E included inside as well as folic acid tablet. And you can also try TCM, or get that 'bazhen' from chinese medicine hall boil with an egg and drink/eat together. And yes as what celestine said longan red date drink can help keep womb warm..it's ok to cry ..and it is normal to cry ...for me talking helped A LOT! hehe..i also keep a blog to rant and also in a way therapeutic to myself...


princessleopard
yes if you taking iui now, better not drink it 'straight' you can take it in your cookings..i came across this DOM chicken recipe ..

ladies here might want to try
happy.gif

http://www.noobcook.com/steamed-chicken-with-dom-liquor/



ladies
i found out lately that i am very very allergic to cats! And i have 2!! Aiyoh! Now looking back don't know if the allergic reaction contributed to my mc or not..cos i noted down the days when im down with a 'cold/flu' seemed to correspond with my allergic reactions..and i think i'll be back soon to take a 'autoimmune disorder test' further with a doc to just rest my mind.. Anyone with a gynae nearby tampines/pasir ris area to recommend?
 
Jhw,

I am taking Blackmore conceive well gold. It comes with fish oil. 1 tablet and 1 capsule daily. Recommended by 1 of the sisters in another thread.

You can also try bee pollen and royal jelly. To be taken on an empty stomach in the morning, 15 mins apart. Bee pollen first.

Jiayou!
 
jhw,
It is never easy to go through it. We just need to stay positive and don’t drown ourselves too much into it. I’m blessed to have my girl with me always. She is 28 months old. I diverted myself to focus on her. Her laughter can really light up my day.

As for me, I’m taking prenatal vitamins (Pigeon brand which include folic, calcium and iron) and drinking Yomeishu 3 times a day.
Monthly (Before I conceive. Now I take every 3 days) I drank Pa-Zhen after AF. (It will regulate your AF. My cycles are quite choon at about 28 days).
Nearing to O and during O, will take Pak Fong pills (My friend told me that it will help keep the womb warm. My 1st one, I think kana after taking it. Now I’m taking once a week)
Sorry but I’m those quite kiasu and kiasi type. I followed to my mom’s instruction or friend’s advice as long as it benefit.
 
Chrisl, Celestine,

I drink DOM with warm water but irregularly. I din drink during 2ww cos dunno can anot. Does it mean if not doing iui, its ok to drink during 2ww?

Thanks Chrisl for the recipe!

minnieluv, which brand pai fong pill u taking?
 
princessleopard think better stop when 2ww regardless of iui or natural cos alcohol content rather high...bu ke qi!
happy.gif
 
Dear sisters, thanks for inputs. I m slowly reading and digesting and recording down all the tonics and vitamins brand.
Minnieluv - sorry.... u mention tt u taking tablet with iron, folic acid, calcium... are they in one single tablet or three different tablets? I read somewhere that calcium prevent absorption of iron. So you try not to eat iron tab n calcium tab together , ok? If they are one single tablet, then u better ask the manufacturer if the calcium is calcium carbonate.
 
jhw, they are in one single tablet.
Oh I didnt know about that. Has check the contents on the box; stated with 3 different type of calcium. But none are calcium carbonate.
I have limitation and difficulties to get vitamins unless I get it send to me. This I bought locally.

7183929.jpg
 
I cannot find the link anymore but luckily i copied and pasted the information and send to my personal email before.
In my next post, i shall share the long article, pls bear with me.
 
Article from the net:
Based on my own research (not sure how reliable it is but I trust my own findings), in addition to eating healthy diet, the important supplements to be taken before, during and after pregnancy are folic acid, iron and calcium. Of course we also need other vitamins such as vitamin C, vitamin D and etc.

Folic Acid (vitamin B9) Even if we think we have a good diet, folic acid supplement is still necessary especially when we’re pregnant or we’ve planned to become pregnant soon. This is because our body may not be able to absorb the required amount of folic acid from our diet although our diet contains folic acid.

Adequate intake of folic acid reduces the risk of birth defects such spina bifida (spinal cord problem). Some people don’t have a pregnancy plan and they don’t know that they’re pregnant until they realise that they’ve missed their periods for maybe, two months. Therefore, it is advised to take folic acid on a regular basis as folic acid is particularly important during the first 3 months of a pregnancy that it is needed to build the spine and the brain of a baby.

The recommended dose of folic acid for pregnant women is 400mcg or 0.4mg per day.

Iron One of the major roles of iron is transporting oxygen in the blood. The need for iron increases as blood volume increases when a woman is pregnant. It is essential to ensure that pregnant women have adequate iron stored in the body.

Iron is always not well absorbed and taking calcium and iron together will affect the absorption of iron. The effect of calcium on iron absorption will be discussed later in this post. Now, let’s see what can boost iron absorption first. Through my research on the internet, citrus fruits which contain vitamin C helps our body to absorb iron in the food. If we take iron supplement, it’s best absorbed when taken with empty stomach or with fruit juice containing vitamin C.

Overdose of iron can be toxic and harmful. I didn’t continue to read much on this topic. However, for your information, normal women(19 – 50 years old) need 18mg of iron intake per day while women with the age above 50 years old need 8mg of iron intake per day. So, just make sure we don’t exceed the recommended dosage.

The recommended dose of iron for pregnant women is 30mg per day.

Calcium Calcium intake is essential during pregnancy as it’s used to build the baby’s bones, teeth, muscles, nerves, heart and others. We need to make sure we have adequate intake of calcium or the baby will use the calcium in the mother’s bones, thus weakening the mother’s bone later on.

Vitamin D is needed to help in the absorption of calcium and our body can produce vitamin D through exposure to direct sunlight. Staying in Malaysia where the sun is bright and shines most of the time, I didn’t continue to research much about taking vitamin D supplement. I should probably go and ‘enjoy’ the sun more, and stop complaining about the hot weather I think it’s wiser to ‘enjoy’ the morning sunlight.

The recommended dose of calcium for pregnant women is 1000mg per day.

Iron and Calcium After knowing that folic acid, iron and calcium are three of the essential supplements that women should take when planning to conceive, I went to buy these supplements and take them every morning after breakfast. But I’ve just learnt recently that iron and calcium should not be taken together. When taken together, calcium can inhibit the absorption of iron.

Furthermore, there are a few types of calcium, calcium carbonate, calcium citrus and calcium phosphate. Research has shown that calcium carbonate doesn’t inhibit the absorption of iron when taken with meal, calcium citrate doesn’t inhibit the absorption of iron when taken with meal but reduce the absorption of iron when taken without meal, and calcium phosphate reduce the absorption of iron when taken with or without meal.

In this context, where iron and calcium are to be taken, calcium carbonate would be a better choice.

Since iron is best absorbed when taken with empty stomach or with fruit juice containing vitamin C, I have switched to taking iron early in the morning before breakfast or after breakfast with orange juice (not milk because milk is a rich source of calcium) and only take the calcium supplement at noon and at night. Better still, buy calcium carbonate if you can find it. It is from the shells such us seashells, eggshells and pearls and it doesn’t have effect on the absorption of iron when taken with meal.

Before I know about all these, I’ve been taking folic acid, iron and calcium together with water and most of the
 
Hi everyone there,

I had a condition called Blighted Ovum and had a natural miscarriage in Sep 2011. I was only about 8 weeks and had a drop in HCG levels and did 2 blood tests at TMC. Till now, I am still trying for another pregnancy but no news. Prior to my first pregnancy, mine was a regular 28 days cycle, and since then, I get erratic cycles; ranging from 32-44days. any similar experience here?
 
Hi Pei Fang,

I also had blighted ovum and did a dnc in Mar 2011. My cycles were ranging from 30 to 34 days and remained so after the procedure.

You may want to check with your doctor about your concern. Are you seeing a tcm to tiao your body?

Take care.
 
Hi Pei Fang,

Before my dnc, I was seeing a tcm and I continued after the dnc. Feel that tcm is good for tiao-ing our body.

Are you born in yr 86? If yes, you are very young!
 
Peifang
Same my cycle goes haywired after mc..before was say 28-30 days but then after mc, 1st month was 40 over days 2nd month was 35days, 3rd month was 28days, 4th month now waiting..I supposed the 'bazhen' I took helped..I took it every month after my af is finished..but your case it has been well over a few months since last Sept..you might need to go to your doc and ask for hormone pills or see what he advices..have you tried opk tests?
 
Hi Dana, yes I am born in 1986.Yeah quite young. Haha. how about yourself? TCM never crossed my mind until recently and as I begin to see many ladies here actually patronise them for fertility issues. As you have also said, I am young so I thought I might not need it so soon, but its been over a year now and no news, cant help but i think i should try TCM now.

Hi ChrisL,
you mention you visit a TCM at Chinatown Point, I live at tanjong pagar area so its very near for me. What is OPK test? My grandma used to make bazhen soup and its my favourite. since young and till I got married, I used to take a lot of tonic soups and I would say i used to have a strong body constitution; sicknesses rarely hit me. But after married, i seldom take such soup and i can feel my body is not as prime as before, falling ill more often, plus miscarriage and irregular cycle now. Does western medicine hormone pills help? actually after miscarriage, i felt normal so i didnt really thought i would need extra supplements. I am still waiting for my period to come now,33rd day now. I would also agree with you that tonic soups do help.
 
yup it's 'WAH TAI' actually my parents frequent the uncle doc but i've only been there once cos i tagged along that day..the exact address im not sure but it's very near that chinese restaurant and carpark behind chinatown point..in those old shops. But if you click on the link above, you can see that there's also another TCM doc situated in chinatown. Find one you are comfortable with in terms of your budget
happy.gif
and i think hormonal pills do help in some extend but i've not personally tried though after my mc..cos i believe western medicine has more side effects to body so i just had 3 doses of bazhen after and it seemed to work for me..oh plus i also take royal jelly and raspberry tea(good for the womb) with honey. I find that maybe try chinese herbs 1st ie.bazhen or other chinese medicine your tcm recommend then if thereafter your cycle still no improvement, then try western doc..

OPK is ovulation prediction test kits..it's like a pregnancy test thingy(urine stick) but it predicts your ovulation day (the day your egg is release) and gauge when's the best time to babydance and upz your chances of getting preggy

hope this little helps
happy.gif
 
thanks Chris..

Peifang, you are still young.... no worries, u will have a healthy baby one day.... just take your time, relax and enjoy the process of conceiving...

I just went to visit a TCM last night.
at 中華醫院 in Toa payoh..... the physician said that my body is very weak.... menstrual cycle too short is Not good.... she ask me to still eat confinememt food for this month but not to eat too much as i am too heaty... She also said not to eat too much of other kind of tonics such as chicken essence and to concentrate on taking her medicine.... she said not all people are suitable to take chicken essense or DOM... so it is best to check with chinese physician.
But i guess bai feng wan and royal jelly is okay...

she also ask me to tiao yang my body first before thinking to conceive again.
and she say i can continue to take the vitamins if my gynae give me...
 
Pei Fang,

I am in my late 30s and 40 is approaching. Time is really running out for me.

It is good that you start young. Enjoy the process and nurse your health in the mean time.

Jhw,

You be good and follow the tcm's advice. Most important is to build up your health.

Jiayou!
 
oh ya... i forget to mention that i only pay $9 in total.

$3 for consultation
$6 for 3 days medicine
after finish the medicine, i got to go back to see her again... until she give the green light to try for baby
 
jhw,

I went to Chung Hwa before. Had seen the doctor for 2 years also no good news. But mine is a male doctor. The next time u go back, ask for the same doctor. If not, they will do it random, u will end up every visit see different doctor. Which is no good as different doctor used different prescription. Also, before u go, check online to ensure the doctor u seeing is on duty that day.
 
gals...
for those who are trying to conceive now.
i just found one tip from other forum today...
but i am not sure if it is appropriate for me to share the link...
why not i post what the gal shared in other forum... ? maybe u gals had read before... but no harm sharing..

many gals tried this TCM physician... and conceived after two months...

Fu Nan Traditional Chinese Medicine Centre
Blk 152 Bukit Batok West Ave 6 St.11 #01-266.
Tel : 6896 1618
Physician Su

Operating hours:
Mon: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm
Tue: 8.30am - 12pm
Wed: 8.30am - 12pm
Thu: Closed
Fri: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm
Sat: 1.30pm - 5pm
Sun: 8.30am - 12pm
PH: Closed

One of them also tried below tips and conceived...

•Everyday drank the bean sprout water from 1st day of menses till ovulation day. (tried 1 month only).

1.Take a handful of raw green beans.
2.Wash and soak the green bean for about 2 days (it will grow to a bean sprout) until the tail grows 2x the length of the bean "head". Dont put too much water, just enough to cover the green beans.
3.Cover the bowl. (I used small tupperware container)
4.After 2 days, it will grow into bean sprouts. Wash and throw away the skin of the green beans.
5.Boil the bean sprouts in 2 glasses of water for 15 mins under low fire.
6.The water will be left about 1 cup now. Use a sieve to pour the water out.
7.Drink the water every night from Day 1 of menses until ovulation day
 
Jhw,
Thanks for sharing the info.
I'm staying the west. Great that it nearby me.
Do u know their charges? Will it be ex?

My friend recommend me the one at Jurong east. Just a visit n some medicine cost us hundreds! Plus the bad review from lots, kill my idea of going there.
 


Celestine,

i read that the charges is as follow.
the chinese physician will check for you and your hubby. So Both of you need to take the TCM med.
i check back the forum and the charges are:

traditional chinese medicine medicines costs $22/fornightly (for her) and $45/month (for him).

i think the charges are quite reasonable.
heard that this Dr Su is rather good and patient... many gals tried her and conceive successfully. and The reviews are so good..

I believe she will also ask us for our medical history....

I am tempted to try u know...even though i live in the East... but since she is good, i think its worth the journey
but i better wait till i ate few rounds of chung hwa medicine before i decide on anything.
 

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