Support group - Miscarriages

Ling - Hugs. Jiayou, ok?

Chris - I have 2 left.

Celestine - Don't be too upset if hub can't fully understand how you feel. Men and women are constructed differently. Perhaps try to help him see that women react different and ask for his understanding. You need his support now, most. Don't "push" him away by being upset. Once he acknowledges that he will never feel as intense as you, he understands and will allow you to grief.
 


Jhw,

Personally I will prefer guy gynae becos they will be more gentle and explain to me. As for woman, they might feel that we are all equal. Haha....

Princessleopard,
I did the D&C at a rush as I was flying off the next day for a holiday. So never really do any confinement. Just came back to Spore on Sunday, I did not have any MC becos it was supposed to be my leave already. So somehow I feel I ended the life as he is not growing and I wanted to make a decision rather than I have complication when I am in overseas.

Celestine,
Ya... now is to get back health and then another op as the second gynae also found two cyst in me that need to be removed immediately...
TTC mean trying conceive again? I am scared and also old leh...

Dana,
Thanks.

I accepted the fact that since he is not growing he must be removed but the pain is really hard. Although he is only with me for 10 weeks...
 
Ling,

I understand that sometimes we have to make decisions fast due to the circumstances. Back then, doc told me bb no more heartbeat, ask me to rest for a week and do another scan to confirm before doing d&c. But I went home, all I do was cry cos I cannot believe it. I am still having the pregnancy symptoms, still vomiting but he has no heartbeat. So, after 2 days, I called the clinic to arrange d&c earlier. Its very torturing to wait.
 
Princessleopard,

Yes it is really torturing to wait so I decided to end it... but overcoming it is so tough... so now I just want to focus on my son so that I dont think so much about it. But on quiet moments, this incident will strike me.....
 
Dana,
I have already past the most down part of me.
The only thing that tigger me is my in-laws.
Have talk to my hubby calmly over this issue. What he told me is, he felt that another Dr recommended by Sil might be better choice for me. He simply dun understand, all i need is a Dr that I'm comfortable n safe with. What the point on stressing me out n force me to chose what my SIL wanted from me.

Anyway aft a good talk, he finally get wat I need now.
Sometime guys can be such a brickhead. Haha!
 
Ling,
I didn't goes thru any cyst problem. *touchwood* So I can advise much on it.
Since Dr suggest that to u, then best u start the Op asap.
The longer u drag the more problem will rise... Hug hug!
 
Princess,
Didn't know u been thru such a process. Hug hug!
For mine, my Dr Immdently start the D&C on the same day. He dun wan me to drag as it might surface more problem. It such a big blow to me. But thanks lord, I have a 2 buddy that rush down n stay beside me. So scary to think back. I'm glad it already over.

Any update from ur IUI?
 
Celest,

Maybe when the doc announced it, its a shock to us. Cos my pregnancy symptoms are so strong, who will expect that to happen. I was actually happy to go see my baby u/s that morning. So, doc say observe for a week lo.

Haiz...its over now. Just that, these few days a bit emo, cos bb's due date is soon. Trying to keep myself busy to get over this.

These 2 days, my basal temp drop a little. Kinda worried its AF coming though no signs yet. Crossing my fingers.
 
Princess,
If our baby still ard, we could be due on the same time.
My Dr was predicting the due date be end of this mth of early next mth.
I'm also trying not to think n keep myself busy everyday.

Look forward to ur next rainbow baby. Jiayou!
As long u dun see any period, then it consider some hope.
Meantime stay relax... Cross finger for u.
 
Celest,

True, mine also during this period.

Thanks! I really need to good news.
happy.gif
 
Piggy81, Ling,
Sorry to hear about your loss. Hug Hug.

Celestine, Princess
Yes, occasional emotional wave will come running. Need to stay positive and distract ourselves. I will be 12 weeks old this week, passing 1st trim.
Our hope will come, our baby will come. So let’s Jia You, Ganbare!

Btw, I think my AF is coming. Since Monday I got very very little spotting and feeling cramp. Temperature is still high at 36.9. Hopefully AF come and not any abnormality…..touch wood
 
celestine and princess.
i just emo this morning too... thinking about all the harmful food i ate that might have cause my bb's death... thinking about the fact that i dun even have an U/S picture to remember him. Thinking about how insensible i am to not visit the gynae as early as i can. And I talk to my bb too, i believe his soul is still in my aura. I ask him to come back to be my BB again. This time round, mummy will be careful and take good care of him.

Minnieluv
Sorry what is AF? you mean menses ah?
usually i need to walt for how many weeks after mc before menses to come?
 
minnieluv,

This is your first AF right? How many weeks since mc? Before ur AF, do u usually have spotting & cramp?

jhw,

Dun keep blaming yourself. Its not going to help you move on. You are still on MC issit? Perhaps can find something to do, to keep yourself busy. This will distract you.
 
Jhw,
Pls stop blaming urself. It not what u did that cause the MC.
I will keep telling myself, Lord take my baby away bcos He doesn't wish to see my bb suffer on earth. We been keep praying for a healthy n normal baby. Tell urself, ur baby now is somewhere up there more happier on earth. If we love him/her, we shd let go n move on our life, so he/she able leave in peace.

Now look forward & stay positive.
Try to keep urself busy, dun stay home alone all the times.
Try walk in the park n see the nature. It will brighten u up. Hug hug!
 
okay, thanks celestine & princess.
i promise you i will let go of this and move on!
i know that my bb will come back as my future kid again... i really know that. Sometimes just cannot help being emo.... but i must brace myself up soon as i am starting work next week... this 3 days are my last MC.
 
Jhw,
Don't think in this way. Every mother wants to the best for the baby. The God knows that this baby is not well and love you and don't want you to have the burden so He brought him with Him. The day when I am doing D&C, the gynae who is the Pastor saw me crying he told me God have birth control and he feels this baby is unhealthy so he brought him to Heaven..... I accepted it and when I heard another gynae doing another scan for a pregnant lady who is abt 9weeks who is the same as me and the baby heartbeat and size is so much bigger than mine. I am convinced that since it is unhealthy I hv to remove and move on although emotionally it is really tough for us.... sometime I think why didnt I want another one earlier and drag till now... but no point blaming as I also cant turn back the clock so just move on.....

The gynae told me that menses will resume approximately 6 weeks after the D&C.

Minnieluv,
Thanks.

Hello ladies, I also want to know what is AF? Most of the ladies have any children yet?? I have a son who is 8 this year.
 
Ling,

AF is auntie flow, which is menses.

MC depends on condition. I think norm is 3-5 days. But I got a month. Cos along the way I got infection, flows on and off, so mc keep extending.

I think you should get mc, dun waste the leave.
 
Oh... U girl only 5 days MC?
That time I was given 2 weeks. Ho Ho Ho!
But not good too, as the longer u stay home, the longer we get depress. It good to start busy n surround by ppl, that make us less depress.
 
Princess
Thanks! It had stop one dose. Horrey!
Have to see the effect aft 6 day.
Previousy it started again aft the medication end. Cross finger.
 
Ling,

i believe after the baby is cured by god.
he will come back to be my future baby. :)
this time round, i will take very good care of him.

initially KKH give me 2 days MC, but they require me to go back for blood test, so i keep asking and asking, until finally it is two weeks MC
 
Jhw,
AF is auntie flow. Mostly about 4~6 weeks later.

Princess,
Yes, it’s my 1st AF. By Friday will be exactly 4 weeks. You mean previously before I conceived? Yes, it’s similar but today, seem spotting n cramp disappeared. Hmm..shall monitor few days more.
 
minnieluv,

Yes, I meant your normal AF before preggy. If similar then perhaps it is, but today disappear?? Monitor first lo, anyway AF will report between 4-6 weeks. So, still within the range.
happy.gif
 
Minnieluv
How many days are u in ur AF?
It shd not disappear n continue like menses flows.
Right now, stay a relax mode.
Sometime the more nervous we are the more it wouldn't arrive. Jiayou!
 
Minnieluv,

You just hv your D&C?? Tat time i think the AF straight after my D&C takes about 10days although is not a lot.... and gynae said the normal AF will come in 6 weeks.

Sorry some of the message is a blur to me... so now anyone here is pregnant again??? I am so scare to be pregnant again....
 
Ling,
Those bleeding is not consider AF, I will say it still D&C bleeding. Normal AF wouldn't arrive that early. Some takes 4 to 6 weeks for the normal AF.

Right now, fear will still inside u. TTC needs to wait til u are ready for it.
Sometimes I'm also scare of having MC again, but I keep telling myself, I can't fear n stop myself from having a baby. Anyway it doesn't mean that I can get pregnant easily even I wanted so badly. So no harm TTC, when my health is back.
 
Celestine,

Ya. But I really got the fear and me already 37 years old.... scare got a lot of problem will arise...sigh...
 
Celestine,
I’m still not having my AF yet. Monday had spotting n cramp and yesterday disappeared. This morning very slight spotting comes back. Perhaps is my AF coming.
Thanks. I’m trying to stay relax, just that I’m worry whether my AF will comes or whether is it abnormal spotting. Like princess said, I’m still within 4~6 week period.

Ling,
Yes on 1st June, mine is natural not D&C.
I’m also scared to get pregnant too. What if it happened again? This always lingered in me. I just have stay positive and get my health back. Will consult my TCM when I’m back to tiao my body then will start TTC.
 
Ling,
Don’t give up. I’m 42 this year and I gave birth to my girl when I was 40.
Many stars given birth at older age, so there are still possibilities.
Stay positive.
 
minnieluv, me also natural. that means, from your case, it seems like natural mc will have AF earlier. i checked an internet survey, and most ladies have their menses on the 3rd - 4th week after a natural mc. Some come on 5th, 6th week though.

Ling,
i am same as you, very very very scared to get pregnant again, but in my heart, i really hope to have a baby soon. Contradicting mode.
 
jhw,

Do u know what tests are include in the pre-conception checks? I wanted to go for it once but was discourage by a friend. So far, I have only done hsg test which is a nightmare to me already. Still can rem the pain now.
 
princess.
what is hsg test?

i dun even dare to do papsmear, and normal body checkup... because i very scared to hear bad things... but i know this is not good for me.
 
she said is tedious and painful process. A lot of tests to do.

hsg test is to check if the fallopian tubes are blocked. Similar to pap smear, but they will inject a blue colour liquid in. Then do x-ray. The injection is terrible, very painful cramp. Somemore, 2 nurses hold each of my leg to prevent me from moving, while doc do the procedures. I lied on a metal flat table, icy cold. Then the cramps come, I cant move and curl myself up, have to endure till the x-ray is done. But there is a 3rd motherly nurse to hold my hand and talk to me throughout the process, trying to distract me from the procedures and pain.

I also dun like pap smear, jus so uncomfortable. My gynae is very nice, every time she need to check me inside, she always say sorry first.
 
OMG.. it sounds so scary
i think i will just concentrate on building up my health first.. then try a second time.. do you think this is okay, princess?
i scared after going through all the tests, i will have phobia....

U mean everytime u visit a gynae, she/he will check inside? is it painful when she check?
 
KKH consultant really very lousy u know...
i mean lousy as in... that day when she try to check my inside.... she put a scoop inside to remove blood clot.... it is my first time mah... then she scolded me for not being able to relax so that she can scoop in....i am already very sad that i am miscarrying.... I dunno how you all feel abt KKH, i just feel that KKH people are cold and emotionless..... they are not sensitive to patients feeling. and they are just unsympathetic.... and they sound like a Fetus is not a living being like that....

I paid $112 to do a lab test on my fetus..
i was expecting to get detailed results...
End up u know what the report say?
it only say: Yes it is a Fetus

WHat kind of report is that?
i really determined i am never never going back to KKH for my next Pregnancy (if there is a chance)
 
depending on situations, they dun check inside every visit. If I doing iui, den she need to do e v scan to check e size of the follicle. When preggy that time, also done once to let me hear the heartbeat. Normal cases, only do ultrasound scan.

Well, kkh is never in my list of choice. cos my mum & grandpa passes away in govt hosp and I saw them being treated badly. So, personally I banned govt hosp.

I thought lab test is suppose to know what went wrong with the pregnancy? This is ridiculous.
 
i also hate govt hospital
My granduncle and my grandpa, maternal grandma also suffer alot at govt hosp (CGH - really the worst hospital ever)

if not for emergency issue like bleeding & serious cramp, and Private hospital do not have gynae around, i would not have gone to KKH.

Worst thing is, they get trainee nurses to take my blood tests, who could not find the vein and poke me many times..

I wanted to write a feedback to KKH to let them know.
 
For me, even if emergency, I go back to the hosp cos they have 24 hrs clinic. Nurses are nice, if need to, they will contact my gynae but of course i have to pay extra for gynae to come after office hours.

Yes, I read the articles already. Well, its more on questionings though. But the tests, seem alright from the outlook. What do u think?
 
i read the physical exams part,
princess,
it really sounds scary...
i think i will give it a miss first.
Build up my health first before deciding whether to go for pre-conception checkup.
how about you?

any one here did a pre-conception checkup?
care to share more views?
 
I dun think I am going for one now. Back then, after ttc for 1-2 yrs no good news, then I go to gynae. She does ultrasound and internal scan for me, & arrange the hsg test for me. Dh done the semen test. Everything seem ok, just that dh's troop normal form % a bit low. So, now if iui fail, I just go back tcm tiao both of us then start again.
 
princess

do try Dr Su.... i got the information from mummy sg that many gals tried her. and she is very good.
take it as tiao your body first.

Fu Nan Traditional Chinese Medicine Centre
Blk 152 Bukit Batok West Ave 6 St.11 #01-266.
Tel : 6896 1618
Physician Su

Operating hours:
Mon: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm
Tue: 8.30am - 12pm
Wed: 8.30am - 12pm
Thu: Closed
Fri: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm
Sat: 1.30pm - 5pm
Sun: 8.30am - 12pm
PH: Closed
 
Thanks jhw!

I just change tcm, so i will try it out first. Its my fren's fil. We got married around the same time 5 yrs ago. She have 3 kids now, I still no news. So, she told me must pay her fil a visit. He told me if this round of iui unsuccessful, dun go for it again. tiao w tcm, 6 mths will see result. He say conceive naturally better. I get to know him too late.
 


Wah! Princess thanks for the info on hsg test.
Realize that I didn't had any internal test or hsg test before only ultrasound to see my womb. So wanting to do the hsg test.

Going put on clomid aft my AF arrive.
Hope it works if not I will go thru the hsg test. Isst very ex?
 
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