Support group - Miscarriages

Yes, agree with princess.
Now most imp to tiao ur body systems back. For the rest, leave it aside. Drink LRD n avoid cold drinks n food. Previously heard that some veg also consider liang too. For example cabbage, watermelon, green banana.. Etc. Avoid them.

Actually over here, we not that young too.
Just that we give each other courage n a good push toward the future.
Love this support group but yet hate to join in the group too. Hehe! *^^*
 


bubbli, perhaps something good may come out of this. For me, my menses cycle range from 27-32 days. But after the mc, my cycle become 28 days so far. I hope it stays that way, cos easier to track the O day. Rest, relax and stay happy!!

celest, I hate to see new member in this thread too. But without this support group, I dunno how I will cope with all these.

Thanks to all here!!!
happy.gif
 
Celest: so far I have been very good..avoid all cooling stuff for dunno how many years liao since I started IVF..but I tends to be notti after each failure..Must guai guai again..Maybe I sian cos avoid these and that ..Result same..But must tune my body to good health so better continue...

oh some of u not young..thot u sistas r still young...Most of my cycle buddies have succeed..Feel like I am left behind...Pathetic..But HE has his plans..So have to be patient...

When I had my mc..I came here to read to see how u all cope..Dun dare to post cos wasn't ready..

Princess: hopefully something good will come out out of this..I prefer natural than gg tru IVF...

Me too I wldn't wan to see anybody new suffer like me..Feel the pain..But indeed this support group is good..I manage to overcome and push tru myself...

yup must thanks to all here..
 
Yay. Without this group, I might still in depression mode.
Thanks to all sisters here. Mucks!!
Look forward to see each other on year 2013.*^^*

Princess,
Yes. Now is the relax relax mode for u.
Dun move heavy stuff n try lay down as much possible.
Hope hear good news from u.

Bubbi,
I'm not very young nor ver old. On dec I reach 34.
Quite panic when think abt my age. Regret not marry young.
Trying stay positive n brainwash myself.
Look at alot of actress at over 35, still they able conceive healthy baby. So can we... Jiayou!! *^^*
 
Yup hope all of us graduate by 2013.....Jia You Jia You...

Celest I am coming 36...Really and old bird...heehe..Well like u said if actress over 35 can conceive...for sure we can...We shall look forward and have our big tums tums soon...;-)
 
Hi everyone.
I lost my little one on 1st June. He was 8 weeks old (He becoz my girl said it's a boy)
My bleeding stopped on the 7th day. About 3 days later, I have discharge. Quite thick and alot. Last Friday, I have pain ? cramp? on my lower abdominal. (Not painful but uncomfortable). It stopped last night.

Have anybody experience this? Could it be ovulation?

Thank You.
 
minnieluv,

sorry for your loss. Hugs~~

I do experience pain & cramps during those period. If u are concerned, u can go back to the gynae and check. When is your next checkup due?

I dun think its ovulation. Its too soon for ovulation. You need to wait for your first AF to come, which is 4-6 weeks after d&c. And if the AF come back normal, u may ovulate. You need to wait till your body recover.

Take care!
 
Minnieluv

I experience bleeding n uncomfortable feeling during that period too.
On n off it will happen, some last til 6 weeks.
For mine I get more then 6 weeks due to my hormones, stopped until my Dr give me some hormones pills.
It will be best that u see ur Dr. For that time my Dr also worry it might be crests, thanks lord it only my hormones problem.

As what princess said,
It not possible for ovulation. Time is to early.
Most imp now is to tiao ur body back.
My tcm saying MC is even more harmful then delivery. Hug hug!!
 
Minnieluv sorry to hear...If u r worried see ur gynae...After my d & C abt 2 weeks I had the bleeding episode for abt 5 days..now only it's like getting less..Spotting so called...Had cramps on 1 st day..Then no more..

Take care dear.
 
Minnieluv...so sorry to hear about your loss..*hugs*

I supposed your cramps is your uterus contracting back to original size (cos it stretched during the pregnancy) but very dubious it ovulation..it's normal..but of course, do see a doc if the pain gets unbearable and accompanied with bleeding etc..cos it's good to find out why to rest our doubts
happy.gif
Hv you done a mini confinement? Good to do..
 
Thank you, everybody for your answers and advice.

My pain actually stopped on Sunday but discharges (not bleeding but whitish-yellow discharge) still continue. After bleeding stopped, will there be more discharge?

My appointment with the gynae has ended actually and a green light was given but preferably only after the 1st menses. My gynae in SG advised to try after 2~3 cycle.
I may only try after 2 cycles. Btw how long you gals will wait?

I didn’t really do any mini confinement but didn’t eat any liang stuff and drank red dates tea, Ba-zhen tonic, Pai-foong pills, So hup yuen and chewed on ginger tidbits. My mom had all these delivered to me. Mommy the greatest!
 
minnieluv,

After my bleeding completely stops, I dun have discharge, its rather dry like just after AF.

There should be one more checkup after your first AF come. How come doc so fast give u green light? Some people takes a few cycles for AF and body to return to normal. Till your first AF come, u will not know if your body have return to normal function.

For me, my first AF came back normal. So, gynae & tcm gave me green light.
 
Minnieluv

Normally aft 4 to 6 week after d&c, then u see totally clear of discharge. If aft the 6 weeks, still see any discharge. Best u go back ur gynea for a check up. Could be hormones that goes hay wire.

I agree with princess.
Why ur gynea give u green light that early?
Best, u wait for ur first period, then go see ur gynea for a check up.

For me, my gynea asked me to wait til my first period then go back for review. He scan n see my womb, then give me the green light. This is a best time for u to get back ur health first.
 
Celestine,

Yes, I went back to work yesterday. What a day!! Ganna backstab by colleague, quarrel with colleague & boss on my first day. Feel my 5 days rest all gone down the drain...aarrgghh
 
Gosh! Those ppl simply can't leave us alone.
Ignore, dun let such idiot affect u. Not worth it.

Sometime I also wan to jump at my colleague, but I keep remind myself dun pick up the fight n let them be the one.
Least they look silly infront of others, then you.
Hug hug! Understand...
 
I am there to work, not to create politics or whatever, but sometimes these people just dun let u off easily.

Anyway, after the incident, I had vent my anger on my dh & bff. I am feeling better today.

2ww is a long wait.....
 
Princess,
Same here too.
Sometime office politics can't be avoided, even u dun mess with them.
No matter how great we are in work, boss's pet will still above us.

Dun let them affect ur result. Not worth it.
Hug hug!!
 
Thanks Celestine!! Will try to keep myself more relax.

Chrisl, thanks for the link. I do thought of that too. Perhaps its time to quit my job & rest a few months cos too high stress. A couple of my colleagues who had been ttc for years, got preggy within 6 mths after they quit. So, this thought have been in me for a while now.
 
Celestine, what you meant is it’s normal to have discharge until 4~6 weeks then there will be no more? Just want to confirm.

I’m not sure why but I did asked any necessity to visit after AF but gynae said is optional.
He did a V scan and then gave a green light. He also did mention that AF may come after 4~6 weeks period.

I think they just do things differently here. Whereas in SG there is no checking of HCG after pregnancy or OSCAR test or fetal test or even checking of your HCG after miscarriage here. (I understand some gynae does that). Everything is like by “nature”.
Sometimes think of it really scared me. I wondered how I survived for my 1st which I didn’t do any of these test, considering the risk for my age.

Thank you all. I will go to another hospital after my first AF.

Princess, let me share my story with you.
Previously when I was single working in SG, I was transferred to a new department and was down with lots of stress. About 3 months later, I have spotting during my mid cycle. Went to my gynae, detected polyp growth and had it removed. 6 months later went to her for scanning and detected polyp again.
I talked to my GM and requested a transferred out. Luckily my request was accepted and after that I said bye-bye to another growth.

Sometimes is worth to just leave everything behind. It may be affected our body but we may not know actually.
For the time being, take care and relax.
 
Eeeek...I hate office politics...Left my previous job due to that..Now woerk in smaller co..First few years was k..Then now back to the same..got office politics again..

Princess..For now u just hear 1 ear in and 1 ear out..dun care la..Sometimes it's really true this office politics unavoidable as some will affect u..But u do wat u can..and heck care..Sometimes wat I hate most is they think we r robots..no feelings one...So mean..argh..
 
I am thankful to have found this support group here...
i dont't know how common miscarriage are in most women's cases as per what the doctor told me.
i lost my baby on Sunday (it is about 8 weeks and ironically, it is a fathers' day)... i never dreamt that miscarriage will happen to me.... i didn't smoke or drink alcohol... though i do not take supplements too (i kept blaming myself for this) .... but i tried my best to eat healthy food whenever i can (though sometimes indulged in my cravings).... i dont't know why it happen... i think it is my fault, and i cannot stop crying....i regretted not doing enough research and not taking folic acid before i start conceiving.
its really my fault that i took for granted...
i feel that i killed my baby... it has been with me for 8 weeks and i lost it... i am at a loss now... i dont't know how to continue working next week.
Everyone been telling me that i am still young, (which i am not, i am already 31 years old), i can still have healthy babies in future. But no matter how many babies i have in future, they will never be able to replace this poor baby that i had lost, he didn't even have the chance to see the world.... and i know it is definitely my fault... i took it for granted. and I did not see a Gynae immediately due to busy schedule..... i caused everything.....now i only hope for a chance to do something for my poor baby to make up for him.... but i know there is nothing i can do anymore...
i name him faith after losing him.... i hope faith can keep me going in life..... i dont't know if it is a boy or gal, but somehow deep inside me, i have a feeling he is a boy, even though i had been wishing for a gal for first born.
i still have to pretend to be happy and well in front of my parents... because they are so old already, they are already very upset with the loss of their grandchild and i do not want to upset them further by being unhappy.
My husband and parents are being very supportive these period... Some of my colleagues and friends are also upset when they hear the news...

Sorry for my long post..
I only wish to rant my unhappiness here..... hope someone can give me some guidance
 
jhw: so sorry to hear dear...Hmm mc normally has no reasons...sometimes the baby is not healthy in the first pl thus causing mc..it can be other reasons..Nvr blame urself...It doesn't mean that by not taking supplements u have killed ur baby...

Dun dampen urself with feel of guilt..it will be difficult for u to be strong and move on...

I always tell myself that my baby is in HIS PLACE...He/She will be remembered always...But I have to be strong to move on for myself and my hubbie sake too...

Do take care..Do ur mini confinement...Be strong and just remember the beautiful 8 weeks we have went tru...We will succeed again...
 
minnieluv & bubbli, Thanks! I will just do what I can, I am not as carrer minded as before since after the mc. Now family more important!
 
Princess...Yeah babe..Family more important..me too not career minded..Can't be bothered with the ofis stuff..I dun wan those idiots to take over my life...hehehe..Do wat u can..the rest heck care la..heheh
 
jhw,

This is not what u can prevent. mc just happen, nowadays all without reason. Its nice that u have named him. I thought mine was a boy too. Cos since i preggy, I craved for all kinds of spicy foods which I do not take before. My dh was the one who loved spicy food.

Take care!
 
thanks bubbli and princessleopard.
for your kind words and encouragement.
i wish you all well too...
after this incident, i start to feel that i should not take everything too hard.... including work...
the self blaming seem to reduce by days... but the emotions just come as and when, and i will just cry.... i think it is going to be a wonderful baby if i can carry it to full term.... but i lost it... i missed the 8 weeks. i thought of planting a pot of Forget-me-not in memory of him, i wanted to tell him that Mummy love him and will not forget him. i am really sorry that i didn't protect him well. I never know that Mother's love is so noble and being pregnant is not easy until i lost this child.... i really appreciate my mother more now...
 
jhw: it's good to have some memories of ur baby..some write letters as a rememberance..some do scrapbook..I wan to write a letter of my lil one too..Hvn't start though...They say it's part of healing and letting go process...

Emotions will come by ...That one I can't deny..Me too sometimes emo..Tears will flow with no reason..but I feel good after that...We r women..Our emotions r super strong..so it does happen..

Just don't blame urself too much..All happen for a reason that we won't see now..maybe later...

Mother's love is unconditional...They r there for us no matter wat...How bad/good the children is..We r still their children no matter wat..

We all learn something along the way...Mothers r the best..;-)
 
i intend to display my forget-me-not plant in my study room. and i will also make a card, write something for my baby. i got a little baby angel keychain as gift during my ROM. intend to hang it on Forget-me-not... i didn't realise i love my baby so much until i lost him.
 
ChrisL,
Thanks for sharing the links.

It true that stress somehow links to MC.
During my 10 weeks, i didn't really enjoy the process at all. My In-laws stressing me day & night, adding without my HB supports. As always my HB been a Mummy's boy. Everything mother come first, even when im pregnant.

After the MC, i realize our marriage is even more stronger then before.
We spend more times together, then every weekend rushing up and down to in-laws places.
I keep telling myself, might be Lord wanted us to strengthen our marriage, before any good news comes. I do feel more blessed then before.
 
jhw,

It's normal to grieve now, afterall we r all humans. Cry if u want, let all ur feelings out. Its easier to move on.

Now the most impt thing is ur body. U have to take good care of urself. Do a mini confinement, avoid the cold foods & drinks. Let ur body recover, so u can ttc again.
 
MinnieLuv,

Yes, normally u will continue to see on & off discharge during the 4 to 6 weeks.
After that, then u see ur period starts.

For my cases.
It lasted 8weeks. Due to my hormones.
Dr give me some hormones pills and shortly it stopped and my cycles starts.
If u see any bleeding aft the 6 weeks, go back to ur gynea for a better check up. He/She will guide u better. Most imp is to stay relax.
 
JHW,

I can feel ur pain, everyone here been thru ur stage. HUG HUG!
It okay to let out ur grieve then to keep all inside u. Even now, sometimes i do feel pain badly when i see a baby.

Now imp is to get back ur health back to normal asap. HUG HUG!
 
celestine, princess and bubbli,

i am really grateful for all your kind encouragements... i am sorry that i posted my story and might remind u of your pain... i really hope all of us here can get over soon and also to have a healthy baby soon!! hope to hear good news from everyone of you anytime....
i will work doubly hard now to build back my health, and to ensure that i can move on soon.
Surprisingly, after this incident, i start to let go much of the things such as Work... i do not feel work as important as my body and my baby anymore. i used to keep working if i can't finish my work and have late dinner... sometimes i even brought my laptop home during weekend. Even when i go holiday, i will think about work too.
Now i really feel that i should relax more and take things easy....
This miscarriage seem to bring me and my hubby closer too as in Celestine's case... because of his care and concern, i have not dropped into depression yet....but surprisingly, Guys do get over faster than gals....
 
Celestine,
Thank you for your sharing. I will monitor closely. Hopefully my AF can come in time and discharge will go away.

jhw,
I understand how you felt coz I’ve been through it too. (All of us here have too)
Mine was 8 weeks and a boy too. I grieved for my lost for almost a week and now occasionally can’t help but still remembered. Each day I’m getting stronger and I believed that I will conceive a healthy baby again. All of us will, believe in ourselves and in GOD. So like what the rest has mentioned, take care and get our body and health back in shape.
 
minnieluv

HUGS~
i do believe my boy will come back to me in my future pregnancy one day. I read somewhere that Miscarriages happen because the baby is not ready (maybe he sense that his mother's health is not good, or that his parents are financially not ready to have him or other reasons that his soul left because he do not want to be a burden).... but if our love is strong enough, he will come back to me and be my bb again. Otherwise, he will go on to incarnate in other family and may he have a blessed life ahead.
I cried when i read this... and feel very sad... but i do hold the belief that my boy will be back to me....No matter what.... if future, if anyone ask me how many kids i have, i will still count him as one of my beloved child.
 
dear gals
can i check with you something?
on 17 June, i had a miscarriage
and i did my first blood test.
two days later, KKH ask me to go back for another round of blood test, which HCG level did drop.
Then they ask me to go two days later again, but i told them i don't want to keep doing blood test.
They say though my previous hcg drop but it is still considered middle range so still quite dangerous that i must go.
The thing is until now, less than a week, i have already pay $500 for just two blood test plus consultation.
Each time going for a blood test got to pay $100 dollars.
My hb and I are not earning much..... and we did not have any polyclinic referral letter... and it is outpatient so not subsidized at all.
is it really that necessary to keep going for blood test every two days?
i feel that kkh being a govt hospital, is not subsidizing their own Singapore citizens at all.
all we do is keep paying and paying
 
jhw,

I din have any blood test after the d&c. Only went back a few times to do internal scan & ultrasound.

Did u ask them why is the tests necessary?
 
jhw,

Yes I believed that our boy will come back to us very soon. So now is the time to get ourselves ready.
happy.gif


The hospital here does not offer HCG checking for any cases. I did only V scan.
When they mentioned “middle range so still quite dangerous”, did you ask why? Or if it doesn’t goes down, what will happen?
I presumed by 4~6 weeks later after AF comes, HCG will goes back normal? Probably that is why they don’t do such checks. If > 6 weeks, AF doesn’t comes then need to get worry.
 
Jhw,
Why ur Dr advise so much blood test?
My Dr didn't request me for any tests too.
I only had a scan to endure my womb n tube is in good condition.

I did mention to my gynea, if we need any tests to find out what wrong n due to mc. My Dr saying for those tests, it will takes alot of different process. Which he wouldn't recommend us, unless we had more then 3 times of mc. He even share with me, his wife had mc two times. But they nv give up, now they are happily with 3 child. It a pushy factor whenever I think of it.
 
thanks princessleopard and minnieluv...

my hcg did drop on the HCG test two days ago, but they say need me to check every other two days
Which i dun understand why.
But I opt for natural miscarriage, i didn't do any D&C... how about both of you?
they say my HCG only drop to half so they need to keep asking me to do blood test until it drop to the lowest... my hb feel that all these is quite stupid and is only out to earn money... i dunno because i am not the expert
 
the story is like this:
on the day of my miscarriage,
i did a blood test on HCG level.
THen the doc ask me not to do D&C and opt for natural miscarriage, let the blood flow out.
So i listened to her.
on top of that, she also check for me, No more baby as fetus was taken out. So now only need to wait for blood to clear out and Take antibiotics.
Eutopic pregnancy also does not exist as she already check.
She ask me to come back after two days to check if HCG level drop.
And it indeed dropped.
Then they request me to come back again after another two days, to further check.
i didn't ask why then.
But i feel stupid when i reach home when i think about it. So this morning, I never go back, i call them to say that i want to wait for a few days more. its pointless to keep going back.
Then she say i have to come back because my HCG have not drop to the lowest point so they have to keep monitoring every two days.
i asked her back how many blood test do i have to do? She say that depends on when my HCG drop back to safe level. if i need ten blood test, then so be it....
my hus tried to call them back to ask more details.... but they never pick up
i feel so upset about everything now.
and the bloodtest + consultation cost $100 every two days.... it is not going to be too affordable for me
 
jhw...hmm is urs natural mc or they did a d&c for u?

mine was d&c...I didn't need to go back for repeated blood test...
 
For ur cases, I'm not sure wor.
As i did D&C, so process might be different then Urs.
Or maybe u can see a gynea for 2nd advise?
 
jhw,
Mine was natural. Apparently it flowed out after 2 days of bleeding.
Like what Celestine mentioned, maybe you go for another gynae for 2nd opinion.
 


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