Support group - Miscarriages

[hamasaki]

Thanks Wang wangboy, i will continue to pray to Guan Yin.. Heard some people said that breastfeeding or after birth, it will shrink yr breasts. Dunno how true..

Hi cat for yr encouragement.. After since I lost my babies, I feel so sad.. The pain is still there.. I will try again when I am ready.. I wish my dream will come true soon.. Will pray hard..

 

[jlin]

hi,
can anyone advice on the following:
1. Will there be anyone with delayed ovulation or no ovulation at all?
2. No cervical mucus, no ovulation?

I had been trying for a yr after my m/c and to no avail yet.was told to make out during fertile period and when there is cervical mucus.But sad to say, I didn't experience the clear discharge for a long long time already. The previous pregnancy was, I guess, by the clomide(forgot the spelling) given by gynae but m/c after 7 wks.

I had tried using clearplan ovul test kit but -ve though it should be my fertile period(CD14).

Can anyone advice? Why is it like dat and what shall I do? worried....

 

[folic]

Poohy ah! Don't WORK!!!

Rest rest rest on the bed ok?

Jling, I think it would be best to seek doc's advice. It is possible to have delayed ovulation or no ovulation at all, even if you have your menses. Have you tried taking your temp every morning? That would give you an idea on whether you have ovulated or not. If you are ovulating later, using the kit on CD 14 will definitely show -ve. It is best to use the temp method to observe when the temp spikes happen. This will help you guage when you ovulate and you can use your ovulation kit to double confirm.

Good luck!

folic

 

[porcu]

poohy,
yeah, don't work.
My wife (who was earning a hefty $5K salary) quit her job immediately after our doctor indicated high risk pregnancy in 2002. It was a big hit to us financially. But,i t was the best choice she ever made coz our son is so cute. This is something that money cannot buy back once it's lost. Do reconsider your situation and take proper rest.

We have since employed a maid (and her mother's here since she's not local) and she's back to work earning her old pay again.

 

[oceans]

Yap agreed! <font color="0000ff">Poohy</font>, dont work even at hm lah! Rest more, eat more and sleep more! Like that BB will grow fatter!

 

[poohy]

gals,

thanx for your concern... ya i din really work ... just sit and rest at home. My boss is quite supportive actually

 

[folic]

good gal, Poohy. Try to lie down if possible.. sit still not good enuff, ok? hahaha

folic

 

[java]

Hey folic,
Someone looking for u under the Antenatal Massage thread. I think you gave the contact for the person called Yati, then someone called that no, but not in used anymore, so that someone ask u to email her.

 

[folic]

oh is it? ok, i got take a look. but i don hv the contacts either liao... that is the only one i hv

You become Chin Leng's asst liao huh? mebbe u ask chin leng whether got part time job for you or not lor?

folic

 

[java]

Sorrie it should be 'Postnatal Massage' under 'Anything under the Sun'. No lar, this is because I'm too free until I practically look thru every thread that is active. I just happen to see someone looking for 'folic', then when I saw your previous message, it was actually dated more than 1 year ago.

I dun mind leh, can surf this website, chat with u all, at the same time do my job. I dun think Chin Leng need assistant leh, I think one person can do the job liao.

 

[hamasaki]

If I am pregnate one day and hope to care for my child after giving birth and I am also afriad tat what if I can't cope with family and career, I have to choose between one of them.. (I'm quite greedy as i hope to have both of them >> balancing them well which I am afraid tat it might be a bit difficult for me)..

I have consider to quit working at the station for the sake of my unborn child.. (but scared that it will be very tough for my hubby working alone)..

Sometimes, I felt and think abt if I quit my job and concentrate of caring my baby, its worth it.. A child is a gift from God and I as the mother must try my very best to protect and care my child..

Sometimes, I too will get afraid if I should quit my job becoz of my child, and if one day decided to join back the working force, It might not be easy.. So I'm quite stuck in the middle. Dunno what to do..

Anyone has this thinking be4..

 

[folic]

hahaha.. i found the thread liao.. i also forgot i posted there b4! anyway, responded liao.

u want to PM me? I am on msn or yahoo all day long actually.. so if you PM me, we can hook up on msn or yahoo.

folic

 

[folic]

Hamasaki

sometimes, I think it is better to handle the situation when it arises. I think it is difficult to imagine which one to give up or how I would handle the situation. But once I am in a particular situation, then I will assess and see which one is the best solution

I am someone who seldom think too far ahead

folic

 

[hamasaki]

Halow folic,
I am the one who always plans ahead partly becoz of the previous miscarriage that I had which had change my mindset.. (I was like you last time..) All becoz of the stress and workload I have at the station.. So I am like must be careful the next time round..

Dun want people to say or blame me again.. Scared tat they might said why is yr job so important.. Dun you think yr child is more important than yr job... This and tat...

 

[folic]

Hamasaki,

It is important to know that you are not to be blamed for what happened!! No matter what people say, you must believe and know that it is not your fault. It is easy for people to pass comments and not realise the impact or how much it hurts. You must not get affected by it. I am sure that by instincts, one will definitely do all they can to protect the little one.

You know? I get agitated when people tell me I must be more careful this time. It is not as if I was not careful previously. My point is no matter what you do or say, there are bound to be people saying all sorts of things.

Relax... I am sure you will handle the situation when it arise... chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi... my basic philosophy!

take care!

folic

 

[hamasaki]

Thanks Folic for yr kind words and encouragement.. I will ignore those people who push the blame to me.. I will surely take good care of my body and my little one..

U too take great care.. Keep us update..

 

[tiny]

True, true. Hamasaki, don't let anyone make you feel like you are responsible for your miscarriage. I get really pissed off with people who say such things too, or worse still, those who ask "what did you do the other time? this time better not do those things" Xiao ah! they are just ignorant.

Every mother will take care of herself &amp; her baby. Who won't protect the little one growing inside you? These things happen, mostly for unexplained reasons and i think being pantang about it doesn't help the situation. it's just finding blame lor. More impt is to focus on the important things like your health and well-being.

Take care my dear

 

[tiny]

Good morning girls,
Last night I was updating my photos on the web when i saw that i had tested positive last year on this date. Really brought back some sad memories. i remember at this time i was both overjoyed yet apprehensive cos i had been spotting for 2 days already when i tested. and the rest as they say, is history! Oh well. we have to let go of the past and move on. Just wanted to pen down some of my thoughts. Thanks for 'listening'!

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

 

[barracuda]

ladies,

Thanks for the listening ears and advice.

My wife had gotten over the episode. After resting for a week, she was able to recover both emotionally and physically.

We'll be trying again after 2-3 mths

Thanks again.

Btw, can anyone give me the details on the herbs for bathing during confinement?

 

[oceans]

<font color="119911">Tiny</font>, no problem! Anytime just pour your thoughts here!! Sometimes we just cant help but to feel sad thinking of the past. We ponder for a while before we moved on! This is life!!

 

[hamasaki]

thanks tiny for yr support.. I also find tat those people seems to blame me for the pregnancy.. Dunno why.. Anyway, I will not bother to listen to them for my next pregnancy.. Will keep my mouth shut in front of them..

I think I will quit my job at the station.. Thinking of switching to another new job..
Praying hard now..

 

[miao2]

Hi everybody,
Aiyo, been away for quite sometime now. So many postings liao.

Hi all graduates,
So happy to know all doing well. Your precious little one knows how much you all love them so don't worry too much lor. Have been having all of you in my tots even tho' I'm busy at work lor... Really dying to come read and post!

Oh, good to know also that Tubby is on holiday. Shd be back today hor... A trip out for fun and relaxation can be good also lor.

My work is less busy now as the audit's over liao. My 2nd AF is over oredi and now I'm in my CD13. We will ttc this cycle lor so watching out my CM these few days but usually for my cycle my o day is approx CD16-17. We have adopted the alternate days BD method for my last pregnancy during my o day period prior to my m/c. So we are using the method again lor. Hope got good news to all lah. Wish me luck!!

For those who are new to this thread,
we are all here to share our experiences and to seek advices also. I get great encouragement from everybody here. So hope you all will feel the same as I do.

See ya.........

 

[java]

Hi all,
My hubby and I had a rather traumatic weekend. My gynae called me on Sat morning, told me that my results for the triple test is 1:76, meaning the chances of my bb having Down Syndrome is 1 out of of 76 couples. Usually for women my age should be 1:1000. She advised me to take the next step which is to go for the amniocentesis, meaning I will know 99% the condition of my bb, but also this means 1% chance of miscarriage.

After the phonecall, my hubby and I were stoning at home, it really feels like the time when I discovered that my bb has no heartbeat during my previous pregnancy. We were really confused whether to go for the amnio test or not, but definitely no matter wat the outcome I will not terminate the pregnancy. So we went to church to pray and after that went to one of my church fren's house. She told me that she has this fren who went for the same triple test as she was age 35 and the results is 1:32, but she delivered a perfectly healthy baby. I spoke to this lady over the phone and really felt much better and reassured.

I've decided not to go for the amnio test because I will not do anything to put the bb at risk. I guess the only thing to do now is to pray really hard and accept God's Will no matter what the outcome is. God is really stretching my faith and making me put my trust in Him. Pls continue to pray for me and my bb that I will have the strength and perserverance to put my faith and trust in Him and continue in this pregnancy.

 

[folic]

Hi Java,

BIG HUGSS!!! From what I know, the triple test's accuracy is really quite lousy. Due to my previous miscarriage, hubby and I have already decided that if the nuchal scan next week or the triple test results is iffy, we will NOT go for amonio test, cos I can't bear the risk of my water bag breaking again. Have faith! I am sure regardless of the outcome, you will have the strength to face it. I will be praying for you and thinking of you, your hubby and baby

folic

 

[jujube]

Hi Java, *BIG HUGS* Your family (you, baby and hubby) will be in my prayers. Stay strong.

 

[java]

hullo folic, jujube,
I have just spoken to my mum. At first I was so afraid that she will persuade me to go for the amnio test and come to the worse terminate the pregnancy, coz I tot since she is not a Christian, she might not have the faith to see beyond the unknown. I prayed first before tokking to her and I am so surprise to hear her reassuring me, tell me that in any case to continue with the pregnancy, but I know that she will also worry although she put up a strong front for me, so I told her not to dwell abt it, anyway the triple test is just a screening test and its not diagnostic.

Actually at first when I heard the results, I also didn't know wat to do. Luckily I have my church support group. They are mothers who have been through many trials, they advise me that no matter how advance medical science is, how many tests you go through, faith is still very important. We as typical Singaporeans want straight forward answers, we go through careful planning so that the end result is what we expect. I have grown up in such an environment and has learnt that not all things are within our control. In the bible it says "Happy are those who has not seen and yet believe". Perhaps God has put me to such a test, so that I can learn to have a deeper faith in Him and place my trust in Him in whatever happens. God also said that His crosses are not easy to carry, so I pray for deeper faith so that I may carry my crosses better. But I know that no matter what God gives us, He knows its is the BEST for us.

Sorrie if I may have offended those here who are not Christians as I sound very Christian-ty. But in times like these, religion plays a very important part.

 

[teletubby]

Hi ladies,
I'm back!!

dear Java,

big hugz!!! I will continue to keep ur bb &amp; u in my prayers... be strong...

i read before dat besides the blood test, u can oso go for a detailed scan to check for bb's health.. perhaps u can go for dat scan? jus to hv a reassurance...

hi poohy,
glad to know dat heartbeat is detected.. rest well at home now &amp; hv lotsa positive tots... i know it's difficult to lie on bed the whole day but for ur bb's sake, must bear wif it ya.. Jia You!!

hey miao2,
way to go hor!! now in ur fertile days liao... must create lotsa fireworks in ur bedroom dis few nites okie... good to know ur workload is lesser now... hope to hear good news from u nix month.. *hugz*

for me, i spotted red/brown for my entire trip in Japan... aiii... no chance to create fireworks in hotelroom... veri disappointed... now no more spotting liao.. but i guess my cycle is disrupted liao.. dunno when my 2nd AF is coming..

 

[teletubby]

hi millie,

veri happy to know u've been given the green light to TTC now... hope to hear good news from you nix month as well...

veri excited now.. cos we hv a few potential mum-to-be nix month...

 

[folic]

HI Tubby, welcome back!

How's Japan? I wish I can go for an onsen bath now....

Hi Java, glad to hear that you have a great support network and that you are slowly coping with it. If you need to chat, just PM me, ok?

Hi miao2, long time no hear! hope you graduate next mth! Jia you!!

folic

 

[poohy]

java

*hugz glad that your faith is strong .. will be praying for you and bb. May God send u the peace that the world cannot understand ..

 

[miao2]

Java,
No worries. I'm sure your bb is in good hands. We'll all pray pray very hard for you and your bb!

Tubby,
Welcome back. How's the trip? Thank you so much for your encouragement..Will keep you posted if got good news lah.

For your spotting, I believe it because the cycles are trying to tune back to the normal state lor. Don't worry too much. You are taking the BFW right? Heard it will help regulate AF cycles.

Folic,
Thank you so much for your encouragement too!!

 

[teletubby]

hi folic,
Japan is great! Weather is jus rite for outdoor activities... went to Kamakura from yokohama, veri near, it's onie 25 min train ride... the Buddha is awesome... said many prayers there.. hehee... hubby was wondering how come i prayed so long.. ;p

basically i walked alot for my trip.. veri tiring but rewarding lah.. cos can really feel the pace of japanese life... toured yokohama on my own cos hubby on workshop... went to alot of shopping malls but dint buy much cos veri ex... they do hv clothes selling for 1000yen (approx SGD16.50) but all veri big sizes... an ave blouse cost abt 4000-5000yen... veri special blouse cost abt 8000yen...

in tokyo, went to meiji shrine (veri nice park o relax) shinjuku, harajuku, shibuya (all shopping areas, especially shibuya, alot of jap gals r donning weird make-up &amp; costumes, it's an eye-opener for me, i saw a gal dressed up like pokemon.. veri cute!)

we spent 1 day hiking at Takao-san... as it's a cloudy day, veri cooling to hike but the view is not dat clear from top, cldn't see Mt Fuji lah... dint try onsen there cos hubby dun feel comfy abt it... hehee...

managed to wake up at 4.30am to go to Tsukiji fish mkt... eye-opener to see so many diff kinds of fish of all sizes... oso saw how the auction is being carried out.. we ate the freshest sashimi there...

1 plc to recommend is Ueno, there's a pasar malam area there called Ameya-yoko... things there r pretty cheap, alot of imitation stuffs...

both my feet r still aching now... but it's worth it! we concluded dat it's better to go F&amp;E than join tour grp to tour japan... pple there r veri frenly &amp; helpful... &amp; it's relatively a safe country..

 

[teletubby]

hi miao2,
jus missed ur posting.. i enjoyed myself in japan &amp; covered most of the places dat i wanna visit for dis trip..

i dare not take BFW again since i spotted cos afraid dat it will cause my spotting to increase.. now cleared liao so wondering whether i shd continue or wait for 2nd AF to come first?

 

[odie]

Hey Java... although I am a free-thinker... but I do believe that if you have faith... you will be fine. I'm glad that you are doing well despite knowing the odds. Keep that spirit up.

Miao2... baby dust to you. Hopefully we will have more graduates soon.

Tubby... welcome home!!! Makes me want to go on a trip too. Although you didn't have fireworks over there... but hey look on the bright side... your spotting as stopped

 

[millie]

java, don't worry. u r strong and it's great to know tt u hv the support of ur family and church. we will all pray for u and ur baby!

miao2, hope to hear gd news fr u soon.

i hv started and so, both excited and nervous waiting for my next AF to arrive....of course, hoping tt it doesn't.

tubby, welcome bk! i had a gd time in japan last dec. both hubby and i loved japan despite the language barrier and high expenses. actually, u can take bfw anytime as long as u r not hving menses. so, u can start now. i had been taking bfw continously except during the period of my menses. it helps in strengthening our female body. so don't worry abt taking it now if u want. i stop taking liao as i am on medicine by sinseh.

poohy, how r u? glad tt u hv an understanding boss. rest well!

 

[tiantian]

Hi Java,

Your bb will be fine. The triple test is only 70% accurate. Have faith in yourself. Once you have decided to keep the bb, ignore wat other ppl say. Although I am not a christian, I will pray for you.

Hi tubby,

You must have had a great time in Japan. No fireworks in hotel never mind, most important thing is you have enjoyed yourself.

Hi Miao2,

Baby dust to you!!! Hope you will graduate in this cycle.

 

[poohy]

millie, tubby

thanx ... I am trying not to move too much also

 

[tiny]

Dearest Java,
You have already made a stand and it takes courage to stand by it. Continue to have faith in God...when we surrender ourselves to His will, He works wonders. Here's something which I always hold on to, everytime I am faced with trials...'The grace of God will not lead you to where the love of God cannot keep you'. Ponder on it and i hope it will put you at peace.

You also know the inaccuracy of the triple test, so continue to be strong yah?

Press on, dear friend!

 

[java]

hi all,
Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes. In the meanwhile, I'll still be around this thread reading...

 

[folic]

Hi tubby, so nice to read about your Japan trip... I really want to go there now!

Java, thinking of you today...

Hi to everybody! Just a quick update. My hubby finally told my mil about this new baby

Actually, what happened was that she gave him a pair of bangles, which she originally bought for baby Jie. She told him to give to his future children. So, that was when he told her. It's sort of a relief for me... my hubby had been so cautious about telling ppl that it is making me a little paranoid. Anyway, we finally told our close frens as well... the cat is finally out of the bag!

folic

 

[linda_thea]

Hi all,
It has been a long time...

I am quite pleased and excited when Folic pte msg me abt the graduates of this thread. I am really really happy for those graduates...we all know how it had been.... In the meanwhile hang on and think positive thoughts yah!

For those TTC-ing... have faith and soon you will be among the ranks.

Java,
I am sure u will do fine, other than medical science, what baby needs is true unconditional love. And your baby is lucky, cos even before its birth, I can see so much love and will in the parents. He/ She will just be fine! Put in your trust in God, I am no Christian but there is always a God in everyone, and that faith is very impt. Children are given to us for a reason....
Is it possible that you keep me in touch?

Hi folic!!!
Keep those bangles close to heart!!! Soon baby can wear liao! Keep me updated yah...

 

[java]

hi Linda,
Nice to hear from you. Recently just find it difficult to laugh or even smile. Feeling down in the dumps. Sometimes no mood to eat even. I know this is no good for the bb, later I'm going to my mum's place. Maybe got ppl tok to me, I will feel better. ok I will PM you and keep u in the loop.

hi folic,
Thanks for thinking of me.

 

[folic]

Hi Linda, glad to see you post here

Yes, actually, I was very touched by the bangles. Cos, till now, nobody in the family actually talked openly about Baby Jie. This is sort of a signal that they all care.

Hi Java, I know it is tough to stay cheerful now. Even I am affected by it...I wanted so much for you to have a worry-free pregnancy. I think it is good if you go to your mum's place or just go out... take your mind off the matter for a moment. BIG HUGGSSSS!!!

folic

 

[java]

hi folic,
Ai yoh then I will try to cheer up for your sake! No good to have 2 MTBs to be sad rite?

 

[folic]

Java,

folic

 

[oceans]

Hi All, been busy the whole day as I was on leave yesterday and collegue went to see doc today!

<font color="119911">Java</font>

, sorry to hear about your triple test results. Although the risk might be high, but you might be the 91 couples who BB is actually healthy.

Must look at the brighter side and maybe urs is like <font color="aa00aa">Wangwanyboy</font> who actually BB is healthy? You also have ur BB neck measurement before, right?

And since u had already makeup your mind, no matter what happen, you will not give up this BB, then dont think too much!

When will u be going for the detailed scan?

This is another way to tell as the doc will be checking every organs to ensure that BB is well!

<font color="0077aa">Tubby</font>, glad to hear that u had a good holidays in Japan! Nevermind abt the fireworks

, cos i got pple who after enjoying themselves come back and had a <font color="ff0000">Made In Singapore</font> BB! Just enjoy that u try not to eat too much cooling thing and allowing ur body to tune back to the normal cycle!

<font color="ff6000">Miao</font>, Baby dust for you!

Good luck and I'm sure we will hear abt the good news soon from you as well as <font color="119911">Odie</font> and <font color="aa00aa">Millie</font> and all who are currently ttc-ing!

<font color="0000ff">Poohy</font>, when will u be seeing ur gynae? Remember to rest alot hor!

 

[poohy]

ocean,

thanx, u went to see gynae yesterday ? so how was it ?

I will be seeing my gynae next wed. Tomorrow only going for jab

 

[linda_thea]

Hi java,
No point having 2 MTBs and 1 mum-to-victoria upset right? So try lift your spirits a little... The choice has been made, and at the end of nine months, a perfectly cute baby will be in your arms for cuddles and a lifetime of love.

I would love to see you and your baby! Folic's too!!!! In fact, I wish to see everyone's baby! It is a link we all share.

 

[oceans]

<font color="119911">Linda</font>, great to see u pop-by!

How's ur little angel?

So are u planning for BB No 2 soon?

<font color="0000ff">poohy</font>, yap, had my detailed scan yesterday at wk 18. Most pple told me my scan was scheduled quite early, but i think the earlier the better!

It took the sonagrapher a total of 2.5hrs

plus me and hubby to walking outside 4 times and 5 scans to finally finished checking every detailed of my BB.

Oh, i am having a BB gal!

I think my BB is very lazy...er... better said that BB is very comfortable with her little buttock high up with little legs curved up. She is not very cooperative with the scan, refusing to move and when she moved, it is another weird postion.

She will curl up with her head facing down!

So, the sonagrapher got problem checking on her heart and spine!

But then, on the other hand, i did told BB to open leg big big and in fact, the sonagrapher suddenly told us that she is a gal!

Think she can be quite guai huh!

 

[teletubby]

hi folic,
i think ur MIL is veri totful in buying the bangles &amp; safekeeping them until now... veri touching...

hi java,
it's good to hear dat u hv straightened out ur tots... we'll all be praying for u... *big hugz*

hi Ocean,
congratz!! a bb gal!! i oso wan a gal as my first child.. so i'm veri happy for u...

hhmm... u mean so early can see whether it's a boy or gal... dat means i wld hv known whether mine is a gal/boy at ard dis time oso... aiii... brought back some memories...

okie lah... shall not dwell on the past too much.. i'm happy for all the mothers-to-be here...