Support group - Miscarriages

hi arixon, sorry to hear about u. but there's nothing we can do or think if come to this stage. like jappooh has said, we all here has been thru the sad & difficult times. so we can understand how u feel. alto mine has been over for 6weeks already, but whenever i see other gals posted here, i still feel sad that our bb is gone forever. so just hope that he/she will come back to us in few months time loh

hi tan, good ger. hehe. continue to bu ur health back then try again. if u have time, come in here to chat with us.
 


hi Jlow, did ur gynae say how to cure for ur cysts ? any medication to reduce or remove ? seems like around us, can hear lots of ppl getting preg. the sept to dec thread is flooding with post every minutes. everyday there is someone announce their good news. but here we also have ppl annouce bad news everyday too...so sad for us to accept...

hi babyatom, wow all ur production terms leh (machine malfunction leading to current downtime) just curious, are u working in production line ? hehe
 
Arixon - we are here to hear and support each other if u need... i also had my mc last week, am stil feeling very very empty inside of me.. however like wat the rest have said, mc doesnt mean we wont go on to have healthy babies... im sure we will start hearing good news from one another here... u take care. for me, i ordered confinement food for a week to bu my body... will be taking tonics to tiao also before next ttc

ladies - how does your review work out like? i saw my gynae a week aft dc and he said to see him again 2 weeks later... he said my womb is clear now but cos im stil spotting red, he gave me med for 3 days ( same as wat we took before dc ) to contract my uterus... i thot it was norm for spotting to stop say 10 days-2weeks? wonder why he gave me med... mabbie its good thing also, faster contract, faster healing...
 
Hi Porky
Ya, i also have alot of ppl ard me preggie, even my ex coll who had no news for many years now also preggie liao....cant help but feel upset for myself..
I used to work in chemical production/QA line but now change liao, sit in office do admin..haha...

Hi Aileen
Sorry to hear that. Can understand the raw emotional pain that u're having now. Even till now, i still tear when im alone....
 
BabyAtom - thanks... that kinda emptiness is horrid... it makes me feel like doing nothing... wats worse is #1 will still point to tummy and say baby baby everyday... so i will tell her tat bb has gone to heaven first.. sigh... i can only sigh nowadays... the scene of gynae telling me tat bb is not doing too good kept coming bk to my mind... sobs...

on the day of my dc, there was a young couple who happily walked into the open ward. HB thot they were visitors til they walked in to get ready... how can some pple do tat..we tink theirs is a decided abortion..
 
Hi Aileen
Yes, just feel hollow and empty. dont feel like doing anything. Even till now i still cant concentrate on work. How old is ur gal now ? Mine is 21 months.
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The day discharge ward is very general ward, perhaps the couple doing other ops bah.....
 
Aileen,

Tell me about it ... even now, i cringe when i see my neighbour's laundry being hang on the tek-koh full of infant clothes. My eyes will automatically zero in to a pregnant lady's tummy whenever i see one, and bitterly commented to myself that i shld have been thru that big tummy stage too. My heart will fill up with sadness whenever i walked past Fox Baby shop cos I had very happily bought 2 pcs of clothes there for my Owen 2 days before my waterbag ruptured.

People has told me, what is painful is good to let go. How to?
 
Hi Aileen,
we have to learn that we cant control wat other ppl do. We do get angry here when we try so hard to keep our baby but out there ppl wanted to get rid of their baby. Now i look at it now openly. Sometime i will look at my tummy and say.. baby faster come, if u are my baby i am sure i will take good care of u.. haha.. My hubby thought i am crazy.

Now i can just concentrate on my boy loh.. His smile and laugher make my day shine.
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pegsfur,
my heart goes to u. I knw how much u miss your baby owen.

Aileen,
the worst my bleeding is so close to my boy birthday and on my boy birthday the sac was discharge from my body. Thus i have a miscarriage on my boy birthday. This date i can never forget..
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Jappooh - my edd was supposed to be oct as well... i told HB tat i MUST get preg and hopefully past first tri when oct comes round else the feeling is gona be at its worst when this lost bb shld have been born... im desperate to try for the next one... am going to wait for 2nd cycle to try...

Baby Atom - my girl is now 25mths... wonder when tis emptiness will decide to leave me... i need peace...

Pegsfur - same like u, i get upset and emotionally stirred up when i see little bb mittens/booties... sigh... when i went for dc and saw so many blessed women being discharged wf their babies,while i was there to 'dicharge' my bb from myself... it was such a terrible, horrible and sick feeling... was crying fr the open ward to the ot...
 
Hi Aileen

I also wanna get preggie again by EDD time,but dont tink will be in time cos TCM say to rest the womb 6 months before the next preggie. Also Im scared of trying......cos scared of losing again. Hear n see alot of sad stories of losing bb even in 2nd tri...Very troubled....dunno wanna try again...

Ur gal is around the same age as Jappooh's boy
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hi aileen, i think we all here have the same feeling. i was also crying the moment the nurse ask me to change into the gown and still crying when they wheeled me to the ot waiting for the doct to come...the nurse even held my hands and speak to me..but where got mood to talk ?? after that waiting to get the bill at recept, saw a lot of mummies carrying their newborns waiting to go home. i touch my empty tummy and cry again...hb was shocked to see me cry again cos he went to drive his car...my hb say want to try after my 1st cycle complete. alto many ppl say the next one will be fine but i still very scare and worried loh.
 
BabyAtom - hur... 6mths is long wor... while i tink its gd to rest the womb , i also cant get over the loss and am more geared to have a next one. confused also... gynae says shld be ok to try aft 2months... wat do the rest of u say?

Porky - ya, the nurses were stil trying to joke wf me bout not being pretty wf such swollen eyes.. but then, who cares bout being pretty or ugly at tat time... in the ot, i was crying non stop and the nurse ask me to stop else i cant breathe during the op :s to try aft one cycle complete meaning try after 2 AF? or 1 AF?
 
Aileen,

My gal is also around 26mths old. She was able to kiss my tummy and talk to 'baby' while I was pregnant. When the gynae told me that fetus had no more heartbeat and scheduled for D&C the following morning, I had my girl kissed my tummy/baby goodbye that night while I wept.

I didn't cry when I heard the bad news from gynae though. I even went ahead and gave tuition that very same evening. I think keeping busy really helped in reining the sorrow in. Of course I cried myself silly when I got home and during the night before the D&C. I think it's good to go ahead, cried it out and ventilate my grief.

The morning of my D&C, I kept my tears in check. Didn't want to go into operating theatre with a blocked nose (^_^) However, the minute I woke up, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I cried even more when the anesthetist wiped away my tears and said 'I understand'.

For a period after the D&C, I felt a tinge of heartache whenever I see anything baby-related. Baby clothes, babies, preggie ladies, preggie news...etc. I also caught myself carressing my tummy as though my baby is still inside. Now, with the passage of time, I'm able to look at things with a 'ping chang xin'.

Now, no fixed date to get preggie by. I think the more urgent the dateline, the higher the stres. Just relax and see how things go loh. Gynae advised taking folic acid now to prep body and ttc in May-June. (Gyane says 6 mths is too long to wait) Hopefully we don't have to wait too long for the good news.
 
Porky, can't help wondering why AF not here yet so went to test just now... think it's BFP but not sure if it's the residue from last preganancy. HB told me to try again next few days to be more sure of it. Somehow, I am getting worried and scare and confused.
 
Reichan, I agree with you, must relax and let nature takes it's course. Just leave it to your heart the best timing you deem right.

All the best to all those that's TTC now. And to those recuperating now,get well soon in all aspects. Be Positive!!!! (hee hee though I myself still find it hard at times)
 
piyobb, glad u r gg for a trip. i also cant wait to go for one, but i cant coz my finances are tied up in my new hse now. hubby says to plan for a holiday end next yr.it seems so far away.

stefie, thanks a lot. i believe there will be a miracle for each n every one of us here soon.

babyatom,u may wan to go back to yr gynae. that time, my gynae also didnt ask mi to see him after my 1st AF. Bt, i went for a thorough scan and did my pap smear too. btw, i am one yr older than u n hve a 31 mth toodler too.
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Aileen,
ya my boy is 26mths now so it abt the same as your gal.

I am slightly diff from the experience you gals go through. Cos my sac is auto flush out so i didnt have to go through the D&C. When i see the sac flush out my heart ache and cry non stop.
 
i'm feeling better...trying not to think about it anymore!

I asked my gynae, she said can ttc after 1 cycle...so i assumed is after the first period resume.
 
Jlow - wow, so fast got good news liao.. u must take superb care of urself ok... hope to hear more from u, its reali encouraging!

Jappooh - must be terrible feeling to see the sac discharge by itself... but then again, the OT is also super scary to me wf the big n bright lights...thank god i knock out after 3 deep breaths only...

Arixon - glad to hear that you are taking it positively... i been hoping ot be more positive also, but somehow am stil sinking... shucks...
 
Jappooh - yes, we all have to jia you together.. must contiue to encourage each other here.. i reali hope to hear more good news here so that i can start seeing HOPE! am hoping to go for a break wf HB and gal soon to recharge and then get ready for ttc again...
 
Aileen...learn to be more positive. No matter how much we think about it, its all over...

cry it out once and for all...then move on. My hubby keeps telling me to move forward, don't keep dwelling on the past coz it will affect the future! i'm trying to keep a positive mind...
 
Aileen,
now Jlow have good news to share with us liao. SO can see some lights.

Agree with arixon we haev to look forward. Though deep in our heart we knw that we can never forget our lost little one.
 
Arixon - i cant cry anymore already... but inside stil tearing.. ya, must learn to get on wf life... are u doing a mini confinement? for me, i oni ordered natal essentials for a week, portion quite huge and food nice...am going to buy some pre packed tonics myself to boil to bu my body...
 
i nvr do any mini confinement leh...
my mother and mil both nvr mentioned anything and gynae said eat as per normal...
 
oh... i read from the forum tat it is good to bu the body wf a mini confinement due to the loss of blood... Natal essentials was nice too.. the lady said one week shld be enuf tho most of them take 2 weeks. she wont encourage us to take too long cos its as if shes trying to cheat our money when we dun need it, nice lady... mabbie can go Fu Hua get those pre pack herbs like tian qi to cook wf black chicken.. helps to build up our body fast for next bb.. my auntie who had an abortion many years ago was all weakened aft the incident cos she din tell anyone and thus my mum din manage to do mini confinement for her. rightfully her health was all good wf the birth of her 3rd child til the abortion of the 4th...
 
i think i will start to take some tonics from wk 2 onwards...coz my gynae advised me not to take any chinese herbs for 1 wk coz she said some herbs will cause excessive bleeding.
 
My mum cooked confinement food for me for 3 days and then I was off to Japan for a family vacation. (Trip was planned months ago) I bathe and ate as normal in Japan, avoiding only cold drinks and Japanese tea. Now that I'm back, my mum is insistent on me doing confinment for the remaining 2 weeks. Sian ah....

Gynae already confirmed my uterus back to normal size and everything should be ok. However, close to 3 weeks after the D&C, I'm still getting some yellowish brown staining now and then leh. Should I call him? Anyone else facing the same thing?
 
Rei-Chan,
I oso experience brown staining(on & off)for abt 2weeks plus.D&C was done on Dec27.My gynae said it was leftover blood fr. the surgery.I was oso quite worried tat the bleeding or spotting will drag how long?Luckily it stopped 2wk++ later.My 1st menses on Jan20.All along,my cycle is very short(27days).So if u've short cycle,i presume the 1st AF will come earlier.

Ya,ur mum is right.U shld do a mini confinement.I did a 2wk plus confinement.But strangely,a mth after my DnC,i fell sick very often for TWO months!-flu,cold,sore throat,cough.I've nvr been like this...i seldom sick...I wonder if it is bcoz I didn't "bu" enuff during my confinement.Or could it be my immune system turns bad after dnc???
 
reichan,
read this:
The most common recovery:
Your bleeding will taper off to spotting within a week, and maybe random spotting will continue for another week. Your hCG drops steadily, usually hitting zero during the end of the spotting, or about 10 days after the miscarriage or D&C. When the spotting ends, you will get strange symptoms. If you use a fertility monitor, it may say you are ovulating, but you are not. You may see lots of cervical mucus coming out, sometimes still brown or yellow, but it is not a fertility sign either. In fact, most of the time, you will not ovulate in this cycle. You should not be trying to get pregnant, either.

Some women find they have mild pregnancy symptoms, or little ovulation cramps. Many many women think they could be pregnant, because strange things are happening and their period is "late" (although almost every post-miscarriage period is late.) These symptoms are due to the body's attempts to regulate its hormones again. It may kick into gear right away, and you will get a new period in four to five weeks, or it may struggle a bit, and the period will not come for seven weeks. If you chart your temperatures, they will be all over the place. This is all perfectly normal and expected. Eventually your period arrives and can be either light or heavy. There is no "normal" right now.

A less common, but still normal, recovery:

Your bleeding tapers off quickly, but with some spotting. You think it is over. Perhaps a week or even two will pass, and you begin to wait for your period. Then suddenly, it begins again. Strong cramping, heavy bleeding, and pain. You are scared and shocked and sad all over again. You hope it is just your period, but it is not. (You must not bleed at all for about 20 days for it to be a real period, otherwise you have not gone through the hormone chain properly.) You call your doctor, who may or may not be responsive. Most will just tell you to call them in a few days if it doesn't stop. You hang up very upset, and don't know why they don't care more about you and your predicament.

That's because within a few days, it does stop, and you are just spotting again. Here is what happened, some tissue was missed during your D&C or natural miscarriage. A bit of placenta clung to the wall of the uterus. It continued to draw a little blood, and the body continued to create very small amounts of pregnancy hormone. Eventually the body realized no baby was there and turned loose of this last bit of tissue. The miscarriage process begins again. Only now will your levels drop to zero and a new cycle begin. You cannot expect a normal period any sooner than four weeks from this, and up to seven weeks could still be normal. Your total wait time from original miscarriage to first period can creep up to nine or ten weeks and still be normal.
 
Avocado - what u posted was really informative.. thanks so much!

ladies - after an episode of MC, do u tink our gynaes will put us on hormone jabs/ hormone pills to stabilise our next pregnancy? i cant wait to be preg again but yet dread the needles or multiple pills that i gota pop...
 
HI 'm back..
Avacado your articles scares me a little le.. So do I fall into the "strange things are happening" scenario? but if I do not ovulate in this cycle then what has happen?...

I had a viral infecion and today I went to see a GP, Told him I could be preg in case the med he gave is too strong for me. Did a lab test and proven i'm right. I told him I just had a MC on 22nd Feb and he says it's possible it's a new preg. I ask him if I should be given hormone pills but he advice not to. He says unless I have recurring MC and I have done detail check up, he wouldn't advice for the hormone jab, because it may affect the process. How ? What should I do?

I dare not tell my elders yet becos in case "too soon" to announce and get hurt again...
 
hi Jlow, congrats to u !!! do u feel any discomfort like cramps or anything ? if have better go to ur gynae asap so he can advise u what to do. i think no need to tell the elders so early lah. just take good care for this pregnancy ok ? all the best to u

Aileen, i mean to try after 1st AF complete loh. my gynae also ask me to take folic acid to prepare for the next preg. my 1st cycle last about 6days today still abit brown spotting

hi rei-chan, my spotting after D&C last for nearly 1week+ but whenever i squat down then i will experience some spotting again..dunno why...after the 2nd week totally clear and only see yellowish discharge. my gynae say my womb is back to normal already after my scan
 
Hi Porky,
Thank you!! Got a bit of cramp and something like my 1st time...when I see her last time she already "predict" it's not a good pregnancy already.. DO I consider my mc as CD1? anyway, now I will wait patiently until next month before seeing her. Think with my history, I must learn to take it easy and calm. YOU trying soon..... Baby dust to U! ***
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Avocado,
Thanks for your post! I guess I'm in the "cervical mucus coming out" phase now. At least, it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone in this. Now hoping that period won't take too long to come. (hahahah, never thought I'll be saying that. ^_^)

Jlow,
Best of luck to you! Take it easy and don't stress!
 
jlow, congrats! u hve filled all of us here with hope. do take gd care of yrself n dont be too stress ok? relax.
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avocado, thanks so much for the detailed post.
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gals, i suggest if u all have bleeding for more than 2 weeks, mbe u gals cn go to yr gynae for a detailed check and advice. it happened to me when i had my MC in feb. was having slight bleeding/ spotting for abt a week. it stopped and came back again. e flow was getting heavier. so, i was worried n went to my gynae for a check. luckily, i was fine.
 
Hi Jlow
Congrats ! take care n relax
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Things will turn out fine.

Morning all !!
My 1st AF just reported yesterday. Exactly 1 month after my DNC...dunno to be happy or sad.. mixed feeling.
 
Jlow - congrats, so when are u seeing gynae? i wld also tink its best to see gynae as soon as possible so that gynae can be more wary and put in place measures to stabilise the pregnancy... i also will not tell anyone including inlaws for next preg until it passes 3mths...

BabtAtom, its good tat AF came... at least it din take too long to return, some take longer which can be exasperating!
 
Hi Jlow,
congrats!wah..u r reali fast.How many week oredi?Lab test?U mean blood test?I am oso started ttc last mth.Right now,I feel a bit of cramping & feel extremely uncomfortable when i squat down or use strength.My next AF is Apr18,so hv to wait another wk to confirm.I oso not sure if this is just gastric or pre-preggie symptom.

To play safe,I try not to overexert myself...I wanna go swimming but not sure if this is safe.

ReiChan,
u r welcome
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I oso shared the similiar thot as u leh.Tat was the 1st time I can't wait my AF to come.Last time,I hate it so much esp when i was busy wf work.

Aileen,
Sorry I am a bit blur...what is the purpose of hormone jab? I didn't hv this during my 1st preggie wf my son.Is it clomid???
 
Hi Jlow, congrats!relax and take good care.

Avocado,thanx for the info. like u say,to play safe, I won't agree with swimming unless it is very easy & the water clean.

I just came back from my 2 wk check.I did ask about hormone jab but my dr said such jab can only be used for bleeding case & not 100% effective.When I told me I want to lose wt 1st b4 ttc, he said not to wait too long, esp. I m over 35. guess my losing wt plan has to be more aggressive coz tick-tock tick-tock goes my bdy clock!
 
Avocado - i had hormone jabs with my #1 cos i was spotting... an di read in forum that it helps to stabilise pregnancy better than the pills itself. i read of a case where the MTB actuali has to go for weekly jabs/daily jabs to sustain the pregnancy and the foetus survived til full term. not sure if gynae will impose it on me the next time, hopefully not and pray that i wont need it as well!

sylvie - if too agressive, will it upset ur body? prob u can do it the healthy eating and lifestyle way? as in more fruits n veg, less carbo.. just a suggestion...
 
aileen, same thinking as me. if i preg again this time, i wont be telling anyone except my hb only. dont want too many ppl around me to know and explain the whole thing again if it doesn't turns out well. anyway, i hope all of us here will have successful preg next round. hehe
 
Jlow, why ur gynae can predict ur previous pregnancy is no good ? base on her experience ? or the scan ? i am not TTC yet cos my AF still not complete. should be over these 2days lah. then i will visit my gynae for a scan again to see if everything is ok then can an xin TTC loh
 


Aileen,
what type of hormone jab? Is it HCG? hmm..how long was ur spotting ended?

Sylvie,
Mayb u could try what aileen advised-healthy diet & lifestyle to control ur wt.I am oso quite plump(157cm,53kg).I was 49kg b4 my 2nd preggie(ended up MC).Don't know why i can't lose wt after tat...I maintain a healthy lifestyle & diet-3 light meals per day,swim 2x per wk..but the wt remains constant leh...*sad*

but don't stress urself too much on TTC.My hb & me ended up sick a few times lst feb/mar,missed our chances to ttc.Last mth,we were so desperated to ttc even both of us were on the mid of recovery from flu.Anyway,the weather was terrible last feb/mar.

Sometx,i feel this is fated...mayb we r fated not to hv "rat" baby.

porky,
ya ya same for me.If i preggie again,i'll only tell my hb.If possible,I'll keep preggie as secret until they discover themselves.
 

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