Support group - Miscarriages


hi arixon, u mean only waterbag and no fetus found ? mayb u should seek 2nd opinion. my case also like this...but bb still couldn't make it after 8 weeks. i am given 2 weeks of hospital leave after D&C.
 
i did the vaginal scan...went to scan 2 times already, both times only waterbag. 2nd time the waterbag still the same size as the first time
 
hi porky, yah only waterbag found. no fetus at all... but i'm still pretty upset about it...

so will be given 2 wks of hospitalisation leave after the d&c ah?
 
hi arixon, my gynae gave me 2 weeks but i heard some people here say they only got 1 week leh..so i think it all depends on ur gynae. btw, who is ur gynae ? mine is dr adrian woodworth. u did v-scan twice and only see watersac ? does it grow in size ? mayb still very early weeks. cos for me, my 1st gynae say cant see fetus at 6 weeks. but my 2nd gynae can see fetus and told me only 5 weeks...
 
the waterbag did not grow in size during my 2nd scan in wk 6-7. i'm going for my last scan this fri...just hoping for miracle to happen.

thanks all for the info!
 
hi gals, cn anyone enlighten mi on how to count my O period? mi a bit ignorant, nt sure if i gt it right?

arixon, do take gd care ok?
 
arixon..hope that everything will goes well for u..take care! by the way..u might want to suggest to ur gynae to do hcg blood test for u...i think the blood test is the best way to know if ur pregnancy is going well or not. If ur hcg level increases after 24 hrs..then it will be good news! good luck!

for my case i was given only 5 days mc..u might wan to ask for 2 weeks if you would like to have a good rest after that! especially if u plan to do a mini confinement!
 
hi gals..i m preparing to ttc also now..but will not try for this month yet..maybe next month! wish all of us here can strike soon...hehe! think now is my "O" period..but not so well prepared leh..

hi cynthia..i also just had a change in my jobscope. Started to do admin jobs 2 wks ago...wow..a lot to learn yet! very busy also..but good, can keep me occupied and have a peace of mind...hehe
 
shirley,
glad to hear that u are ready to try again. Lets us all jia you and give each other support..
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hi,
yesterday doc help me do a check up, can't even see the water bag... hopefully its too early, If not will be another chemical pregnancy... sigh
i hate all the waitng of blood test and all tat... tired...
 
just wondering how you ladies cope with the loss.. i still feel depressed everyday. seeing other preggy mommies makes it worse.. why do some people have it so easy, and can have one whenever they want one, and others have to go through the pain of losing one and more..

it is eating up inside me.

at first thought i could try within the next month since the 2nd loss didnt require d/c. went to a TCM doc and was told to rest for 6 months (!!?) to build up my health. said my Qi and energy not good, baby wont "stick" inside. i know tis for the better, but i just cant wait that long.. its such a dilemma and i hate it..
 
twinangels....im the same as u...see some ppl easily pregnant, than me oways face pblm, i feel so depressed...seeing friends kids so adorable and i feel so lonely...and kip on thinking abt the due month...just cant stop thinking of everything....
 
when i lost the first one last June, my girl friend got preg shortly after. she just gave birth to a healthy baby boy and now i've just lost the 2nd one. it really sucks..

i keep trying to think positive and there ARE many things to be grateful for, like a loving and supportive hubby, that we are here alive to continue trying (after learning about the Bong family tragedy).. i saw the baby pic of Justin Bong in the Motherhood magazine and my heart ached so bad for the family..

lets not give up hope.. and just let our bodies and mind heal well.. lets do it for the sake of our next baby to come.
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Hi Twinangle,

I have been a slient reader also lost my BB on 17th Jan. Had decided to TTC again, currently having my 2nd cycle so would like to try again this mth.
Can you please provide me your TCM Dr address & contact i would like to check on my health status too. Had already been to one TCM but not very comfortable and everytime see him he never tell me my health status or what's wrong just ask me to take his medicine to 'tiao' would like to seek 2nd opinon.

Thanks.
 
hi kiki_koro, actually my TCM doc also never say much, only when i asked her whats was wrong with my body did she say "baby cannot hold on if your body is weak". she's a doc from China, seems rather experienced, but very very busy. she's at the Eu Yan Sang Tiong Bahru Clinic branch, (her name is Qi Xiao Yan) and we waited for almost 2 hours before seeing her. i cant say much about her yet as i've yet to conceive successfully so i cant strongly recommend her yet.

i guess there're generally 2 types of TCM doctors. one type will take ur pulse and tell u stuff that even advance science cant prove and then talk nonstop and sound as if they know it all. another type will be quiet and not say much but ask u take their medication. it depends which type u prefer. for me, i'd rather let the results prove itself more than anything.

at least this doc, didnt seem like a quack to me. she sounded confident that her medicine will strengthen my body when i told her i'm always falling sick and getting flu easily (like every other weekend!) and she will see if i'm fit enough to ttc at our next review 3 weeks later.
 
kit_mum.....hope dat all will turn out well for u ya....=)

twinangels.....it's neber easi to cope wif the loss and diff people uses different ways to get on wif our life....i guess im one of the few dats taking it pretty well since and trust mi...im receiving news of surrounding ppl who have got preggy...hw bad can it be when u have one every week for the last month....but i choose to believe that mine is on the way & tis time round...the baby will be healthy & in my arms after 9 mths....=)
 
twinangels,
when i loss my baby i cry and grieve. Never expect that i will end up in a miscarriage so i tend to blame myself of not taking care. I am glad that i have a understanding MIL and hubby. Ofcos when we see other prggy lady will tend to be upset.

I think i am in a slightly better position as i have a 2 yr old boy with me.
 
jappooh....we have to be positive for the sake of our next baby oso...have to learn to take things easy....actualli the support of my family & tis forum helps a great deal....=) u can do it de...jiayou ya...
 
piyobaby....i cant help to be negative lei...kip telling myself to be positive le, after a while think back will think of everything again...
 
Hi Piyobaby, porky n all

Thanks for ur reply. I just did my surgery today. Just got to know the surgery I had is known as 'evacuation of uterus'. not dnc. My case was no heartbeat found in 8wks. Is given 5days medical leave, after that back to work. Actually I tendered for resignation alrdy. This is too much for me to take. Hope I can TTC after 2mths.
 
hi low, mine is also known as 'evacuation of uterus'as stated in the invoice. but gynae say is same as dnc..since u have tender ur resignation, is best time for u to do a good confinement. i only did 2 weeks confinement cos i need to go back to work. i also hope to TTC this month but my mense still did not report...scare it goes haywire already...will be seeing gynae this friday

hi shirley, is good that u are doing admin work now. i have also been doing admin work for years loh. hehe. since u will be TTC next month, i think we are almost the same lah cos i think this month i no chance liao. so we are hoping for an ox bb loh
 
piyobaby, u are always the most positive one among us. last night just told hb that if we TTC and strike again, dunno our bb will survive till 9mths or not...hb say i think too much liao. but i really cant help to stop worrying loh. and i do not wish to see the gynae so early. better have more m/s and no spotting then can tahan until 8-9 weeks then see dr woody. hopefully by that time he can tell me that my bb has grown arms & legs liao then i will feel relieve...
 
hi arixon, hope this friday scan ur gynae can see something. else ask dr to do blood test. i also did 2 blood test then dr confirm that i cant continue my pregnancy anymore. all the best to u and rest well for these few days ya
 
Hi porky

Unfortunately my notice period takes 1mth n i tendered recently. therefore still need to serve my notice period. only given 5days mc. moreover my gf just annouce her pregnancy. though am happy for her, still i feel so sad.
When u had ur surgery? did ur gynae suggest after 2menstruation cycle then u can start to try? The nurses told me I will only get my menses abt 4-6weeks time.
 
Jappooh,
Thanks for the link. I didn't TTC during my O period, so guess the chance is low. In this case, hope my AF reports on time, so that I can try on my next cycle.

Shirley, all the best to u and may all of us here be blessed with a bb soon.
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littlemini2, twin angels.. lets be positive.i am sure time will cure all wounds. its never easy for us to get over it, u gals will be ok soon. as for mi, even though i am kinda better now, i dont have the courage to look at my bb's film. its been lying in my drawer n now i am worried abt my next pregnancy. bt, i guess we nd to stay positive n stressfree for our next bb.
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littlemini....i still think abt the foetus at times too which shd b a norm...being positive doesnt means dat u have to forget abt the foetus which is totally impossible....=)

low...like wat porky say they mean the same thing....have a proper confinement & take ur time to rest since u have resigned....take care ya...=) jus to share wif u...my gynae advise dat we could ttc after the 1st AF at least to make sure that things are back to norm...he did mention too that he has patients whom conceive shortly after D&C which leads to successful pregnancy too.....ur emotional well being is equally impt...goes wif ur heart...=)

porky....positive as i may sound...i do have scary thoughts abt our next baby but i try to brush them aside cos it doesnt help or will be bad for the baby too....but trust mi..wat u are thinking always pop up in my mind too....which i oso assume it's a norm....
 
Hi Twinangels

I also still feel very lousy even though my Dnc is almost 1 month ago. Still cant bring myself to talk to other ppl abt my MC cos its just too painful for me emotionally. Ya typically TMC will say rest for 6 months after our dnc b4 conceiving again. They say if we dun tiao n bu our body properly, will result in another MC, so they advise 6 months to tiao n bu ourselves for the next good pregnancy.

Re : TMC
Yest my mum bought me to yao chai dian sinseh n he said that my mc was most prob due to low blood pressure n weaker womb...im skeptical whether low blood pressure will cause problems in preg anot, but seems like my blood pressure is definitely lower now compared to my previous preg time before delivering my gal....

Hi Low
u can bathe with the herb water just like normal confinement. Just boil the herb packet that can be purchased from yao cai dian n bathe w it.
 
hi ladies, i'm back here at work after 1 week of mc. it has been really, really, really difficult. colleagues kept asking if i was pregnant and i feel like screaming 'YES I WAS!! BUT I LOST IT, HAPPY!! NOT ONCE BUT TWICE!!!!! and F*KIN GET LOST"!! but of course i cant... it really really sucks.. wish i didnt have to come back at all....
 
Today is also my 1st day back at work also. Heng the office culture is not kaypoh type so im pretty much left alone.
But i still feel tough to face colleagues though dnc is almost 1 month back...so i can understand ur situation....
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twinangels....cool it...juz tell them we lost our baby....im sure they will walk away....dun get too pissed which isnt good for ur health....take care ya....=)
 
i cant bring myself to say it.. i dont want the awkward silence after saying so. i'm sure they wont know what to say. end up, they may give more insensitive remarks like "u can always hv another one" or "its good that the baby died this early" etc etc and makes it even worse!!!
 
guess it's pretty much inevitable but dun get too upset by it....show them a blank face then..smile & walk away....=)
 
twinangels,
i was scared to pick phone calls too. friends will start asking, how are u feeling, u still have aaron at least, rest well and have health baby, etc.. my mom told me that the baby doesn't want to be with me.. my hb said, it's ok, still got aaron.. When i feeling better, friend will tell me not to talk about it as i will be sad again.. which i think i'm ready to face and overcome it..

All meant well, but it juz angers me, it is me that need to adjust to it and learn to take their remarks lightly.

still have to face the world, especially preggies..
 
twinangels, cool down ya. if u r nt comfortable to share, y not just tell kp quiet or tell them that u hve women's pro. after a while, i tink they will stop asking. pls take gd care of yrself n dont be too stressed up.
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stephy....it's good dat u are taking small step to overcome the sadness in u....take ur time to 'heal' slowly....tomoro will be a beta day for all of us.....=)
 
hi all....when i went back to work, my collg almost all came and ask me wat happen...how cum i take 2 wks MC...but i dun wish to tell them anything, so i just smile to them and say nthg serious...now everything oki le...and they nv continue asking...guess they shld understand i do not wish to say much...some mite hv guess what is happening, but i just dun want to tell them directly....
 
ya man, life still have to goes on.. it will get better each day. I'm still taking my folic acid with vit B complex and after my checkup tomolo, if i'm clear, i will take my yoga and other workout soon. hopefully will give a little boost.
 
Hi,sticky,thank u for the info abt kkh gynaes!

twinangels,it is so frustrating to hear all the "consoling" phrases.They never sound right!So, like stephy, I dun pick up calls. I only sms my closer friends. No one can truly understand the pain we go through. But it is great to have such a forum whereby we can share and vent our grief. It helps a little but it is also very important to pick yourself up. I've had 3 mcs & they all r freshly painful. I was so paranoid thru out this recent preggy that I think my -ve thoughts just kill'd my 9wk+ foetus....

Now I tell myself I have to believe that my bb is meant to stay alive and be cuddled in our hands. We have to be strong,okay!
 


if they ask whats wrong, i will of course say its a personal health issue or say its a women's thing.. its those remarks that go "eh, u pregnant ah?" that really kills me.
 

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