Support group - Miscarriages

hi gals..i just came back from my hk trip..very tired from all the walking and shopping...anyway, i enjoyed the trip.

just came back to office today, havent got the time read all the threads, will read up later when i m more free.

cynthia, i also had my 1st menses after dnc on the 19th March..my 2nd day in hk..very lucky me
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the menses cramp was actually better if i compare it with my previous menses cramp. The flow is normal as well..fyi, i m still taking the chinese medcine, will end this week, r u still taking urs?
 


hi stephy,
your article makes me tear. it is so very true and reflects what i feel. i also take my loss as a death of a family member. a very close one. i delivered my baby at 20weeks. it was very painful. i am sorry to hear abt your loss. pls take care.

hi babyatom,
thanks for that reassurance. when my mum brought it up, i felt so bad. i feel that my baby has been sucked away. but i also know its not the case.
 
i guess every one of us will miss our babies. i cried again a few nights ago. sometimes when i star into space, i will just start tearing. my husband asked me why i cry. i told him, i dunno if someone is taking care of my baby. my baby is still so small. and i miss my baby so much. i want to hug and kiss my baby so much, yet i cant. i went for a holiday, and yet i wished i didnt go. i wished i was still in the hospital, resting with my baby safely inside me. how i wish. but reality is harsh.
 
Hi phoebe mama,
i understand how u feel. I also told my hubby dunno is my little one well taken care of. Will my baby be scare when we are not ard to protect him/her. I miss my baby so much as well.
 
prawnmee....i resume ttc right after 1st AF complete which is jus last week....diff gynaes will give diff advice....wats more impt will be emotional well being....if you are ready for a baby once again....=)

phoebe mama.....im still thinking back & counting the 'age' of our baby....we will neber be able to forget totally....tis im veri sure....=)
 
hi prawnmee..i will wait till my 2nd cycle complete then ttc again. just finish my 1st cycle now...as much as i want to be pregnant again..but i still choose to wait one more cycle. As i m still taking chinese medcine now, so i hope to let my body rest well 1st.
 
ya jappooh...im not too sure how well I will face sept 08....know a few mummies welcoming their babies in sept including my own auntie.....=(

im hoping that getting preggy soon will helps to lessen the pain of memory with the basking of happiness of the baby....
 
i did a D&C on 11 march.. its my first pregg.. doc say its adnormal pregg.. haizz.. doc say hav to wait for 3mth after that than can TTC
 
Hi evelyn, sorry to hear that. In the meantime, take care and rest well.

My gynae never said abt the waiting period b4 we ttc again, she only said that when my period resumes, and i am mentally prepared then it's time to try lo..
 
evelyn...im sorrie...**hugz**

shirley...i did check wif my gynae on why to wait till the 1st cycle resum & he said it's juz a precaution measure to ensure that the womb is alrite....=)
 
hi shirley, u so fast finish one cycle already ? i thot just started wor. mine still waiting...

hi piyobaby, have the same feeling. one of my fren also same time preggy as me and got to know that she is expecting a boy today. we will be abt 13-14weeks by now if this never happen. i always carry my scan photos whereever i go, if miss my bb then i will bring out and take a look at it. guess i will also do not know how to face sept 08...miserable month it can be (even worst if ppl started to invite us to bb shower..)

hi evelyn, hug hug and rest well ya. all of us here can chat with u if u feel lonely
 
porky...since the day I got to noe my miscarriage....have not peeked at my u/s film till now....uncertain if I might attend any baby shower wor...worried abt how to control my emotion if overwhelmed.....unless of cos im blessed wif a baby again....
 
piyobaby, the u/s film is the only memories i have of my bb so i still look at it sometimes. alto it is not a real bb shape but at least i know that is our bb loh..i will also not attend any bb shower for this year. scard i cant control my tears when everyone there is so happy and we think of our bad experience. i hope u have good news soon. even not mickey/minnie, oso can have a little ox loh. hehe.
 
truly how i feel as well....so wat are ur plans for ttcing....would it be ideal to go back to woody for review if ur mense have not resume? cos he told mi the purpose of the review shd b post 1st AF to ensure that the womb is fine....

wats more crucial now will be carrying the baby to full term & a smooth delivery....nothing else matters....=)
 
porky,
I feel the same way as you too. I have already cancel a party invitation, and I think for now, I will not be ready to attend any parties for the moment, except for my son's party celebration in his childcare on 11 april.

I have blog about my miscarriage, u may want to read at http://superbaby-aaron.blogspot.com, as much as I would like to put this behind me, i have no courage to look at the u/s film.

my heart goes all out to you all, let's be strong and go thru this difficult moment together.
 
hi porky..maybe i put it wrongly, i should said that my 1st period after dnc just finished..so, i will wait till my 2nd period come then ttc again.

hi piyobaby..ya, my friend who had a miscarriage b4 also told me that, she said her doc told her to rest 3 months b4 ttc again, to make sure the womb rest well. She even refrained herself from intercourse during the 3 mths.
 
Hi gals,
i am the same. I already reject all the bb shower after my MC. This yr my hubby realtive have 3 newborn. So it a difficult yr for me. I do not knw can i skip their bb shower.

When i go for my scan my gynae say the womb is clean and good can start TTC again when i am emontionally ok. maybe i have a early MC so do not have to wait.
 
Hi all...i oso hv the same problem as u all last yr oct 07...abt 7-8wks, cant detect any forteus at all, so cant do anything bt D&C...its a terrible op which i still remember till today, the cramps and the worry and scare, i still can remember very clearly now...

Though i have start ttcing again, but im still very scare that history will repeat again, cos this is too common nowdays for women, with no reason....

i oso cant bring myself to attend any baby showers or even hear who is pregnant or who has given birth, its a terrible thing to me...though now im alrdy feeling much better, but it actualli took me few months to feel better....

until today, when im alone, im still feeling very depress and will think alot of neg thoughts, cant help it bt think alot.
 
Hi all,

thanks for telling me your plan of ttc, my gynea did told me to rest for 3 mths then try again.. My 2nf AF just finish, think will be O early next wk.. dunno to try this time round or wait for 3rd AF to report then try..

I am so anxiuos to hav 2008 baby to "ni bu" my last lost, this month is my last hope for 2008 baby.. dunno try or not try.. so I purposely arrange appoinment with my gynea this fri to seek green light from her to ttc..
 
hi piyobaby, dr woody told me that my womb is fine liao but now is only 10 days away from my visit to Dr Woody and i am still waitng for AF to report. till today still no symthoms leh. do u feel any cramps or sore breast before AF reported ? cos i dont feel anything leh...what if AF come halfway and i still gonna visit woody ? very funny mah

hi shirley, so how many days ur 1st menses last ? very heavy flow and intense cramps ?

in fact, my SIL is planning to have her bb 1 year old celebration in Sept...the month that my bb supposed to be born. if not we can celebrate this happy occasion together and i will sure look forward to this month. i supposed i wont attend her bb 1st year celebration loh unless i got to know that i was already few weeks preg by then
 
hi littlemini, is true that m/c is too common nowadays for women, with no reason. i was first detected with foetues then no foetues. scary experience i had gone thru also. so now we are taking extra precautions for pre and post ttc. hopes everything will be fine if we know good news these few months. i cant control to think neg. thots too but i always came in this forum and try to think more positve...all the best to u too
 
Hi prawnmee..i also have the same thinking as urs..wanted to have a 2008 and rat baby so much..but in the end still decided to wait for one more cycle. i have made some calculation also..if i ttc after this cycle of AF, and really strike, then will have a dec 08 baby...if i wait for 1 more mth, then it will be Jan 08 baby, should be still in time for baby rat..but ppl will be busy for cny then, so scared difficult to get confinement lady.

hi porky, my menses was quitre normal, i would said slightly heavier than my previous mense..no intense cramp also. Imagine i can still walked for the whole day in hk while having my menses..so, it's not that bad actually. I had normal flow for 1st 3 days, then 4th day very little, and some more on the 5th day, after that it ends, just brown spotting. by the way, have you done ur pap smear b4?
 
Porky...its terrible to think back, but no choice, i cant help but kip thinking abt it, and worry alot too...mine is totally no forteus except the sac...tats even more worse....and i wait abt 6wks than went to see gynae....i was thinking if i was to go early to see gynae, will it help???
 
hi littlemini..i sort of understand ur concern. but it is important to think positively, especially if u plan to get pregnant again. i guess every pregnant women is worried, esp those suffer from mc b4, including myself. But i really force myself not to think abt it..i m very looking forward to my next pregnancy, so i will try to eat healthily, stay happy from now on...dun stress urself too much, k?

to be frank, when the fetus is not growing well, it cant be help much..eventhough u visit ur gynae in the early stage. My gynae told me, every pregnancy is different..once the conception take place, the cells will start dividing, thus i think it's important to have a healthy mindset when u already plan ttc. My fren told me for my next pregnancy, make sure that i eat well, sleep well, dun do heavy chores, and most importantly stay happy. I sincerely hope that everyone of us here will have a healthy pregnancy next time..cheer up, gal!
 
porky....i dun have any pre AF symptoms but when it arrives....it is terrible...if realli AF reports & is not completed b4 ur appt wif him...call him for further advice lor....=)

littlemini....it a cruel fact we have to face...tough but yet beyond anybody's control...mi started seeing gynae at 4-5 weeks...foetus oso stopped growing at 7 weeks with no more detection of heartbeat so dun blame urself for it...=)

i have the same fear in mi & was telling hb repeatedly...wat will happen to our baby....wat if i neber conceive again...my thoughts simply run wild yet i have to satisfy my hunger for a baby partly due to age....

tis 2 weeks have been veri rough for mi as im force to face & accept my in laws shifting in wif us....im sick of cooping in my room....lost my freedom to walk ard in MY house....inability to cook dinner.....feel dat i cant rest well at home which is no longer my home.....arrgghhh....wat made mi freaking pissed is the unhygenic habits they have and imagine I came home to realise that there's no plain water at home....=( sorrie for the ranting....
 
Hi piyobaby,

i can understand hor u feel.

Just to make u feel better here is my story. When i was away for my honeymoon my SIL move intop my hse and stay. When i was back i got a shocked cos my hubby say they will only move in after 2 yrs. The tea that we use during my customary was left on the table for 2 wks. She stay in my hse and can leave that for 2 whole wks and the drink already turn sour and the smell..wow

After i give birth to my 1st baby my MIL move in as well. And now we shift the hse whole FIL move in also.. My SIL and FIL is those dun do any hse work one.. My poor MIL haev to do it for them even cant wash their own cups.. Terrible..
 
Piyobaby,

i have same problem as u are.. No water to drink and during my 1st preggy i was attending part time course as well. Everyday go hm still do hsework and boil water.. Complaint so many time to hubby.. Now we get a water system and always have water. There was once when i am preggy i was having fever and nothing to eat at hm (cos all food finish up by my SIL) and i ask her to buy for me she say wan to eat buy myslef..

When my hubby knw abt it wanted to chase his sis out of the hse. My SIL beg me to forgive her. I soft hearted so now she still stay with us.. Now she knw everyhing have to get my approval if she gg to do anything or bring ppl to my hse.. Cos my hubby will listen to me.

Slowly get use to them.. I also like that. i use to hide inside my rm as well. Now i have been with them for abt 5 yrs already.
 
shirley, i have not done pap smear before...

littlemini2, u scan at 6 weeks only can see a sac ? then gynae suggest D&C ? cos i also got the same case as u...but i went to see another gynae at 7 weeks. this gynae can see my fetus. only after somw bleeding at 8 weeks then the fetus reduce in size until cant see anymore...then i did the D&C loh. for this time if i preggy again, i will see the gynae only after 8weeks..but i will take good care of myself and avoid any housework..

piyobaby, u make me think of my MIL just moved in 9months ago. i cant cook dinner cos the whole kitchen is messed up by her. very oily and sticky on my kitchen floor..and my yard was hang with lots of clothes and bedsheets. no place to walk and the clothes always touch my hair when i try to walk pass..very fustrating..like the whole house being messed up. not our usual lovenest anymore. now i get used to it liao and i told her dont go inside my master bedroom to do anything inside there, i will go mad if my master bedroom also very messy when i came back from work...
 
jappooh...ur FIL sound so familiar...like mine...reminded mi tis morning....duno wats on my dining table...2 plates of sumthg covered smells so bad & sour....i have a small living room and my couch is onli 3 seaters...my whole house basically turn upside down wif a messy living room full of things.....

how to stand it when the newspaper on the table have been used for 4 days yet unchanged...tissues used oso left untouched for 2 days....even tose soiled tissues from nose blowing are left beside the couch....one more thing....FIL's nose hairs plucked and left on a pc of paper for as long as i can remember.....

no water in the kitchen & yet MIL can remark who is that making noise in the kitchen when im boiling water...im getting crazy le....
 
porky...i was oso asking hb few days back...if i get preggy again....shd i visit dr woody immd or wait till 8 weeks...wat he said does make sense to go immd so if hormone pills is nec..can start on it...at least have a peace of mind....i have same thinking as u....8 weeks beta.....=)

i dun even noe how to do my laundry cos hanging space is limited (typical new flat style) and there's clothings hang everyday....helpless on where to sun my lingeries....=(
 
piyobaby, sounds terrible leh ur FIL...i just have to tolerate my MIL but u have so many ppl moving around in ur house wor. as for lingeries, i used to sun at my yard. but after my MIL shifted in, she dont allow me to sun there loh. she say must sun outside my yard window..OMG ! she say else later my hb walk pass will be very unlucky...what kind of reason is this??? is my own house ok !

for preggy, i mean if no spotting or wat then i shall wait till 8 weeks then see dr woody. cos i very scard got heart attack again..of cos if got spotting then no choice liao, must see him for jabs or hormones pills loh
 
piyobb, relax ya... understand how u feel coz i am also staying with my in laws. i guess e pro will be neverending once we live with our in laws. try to bear with it ok n you may want to adopt i cnt be bothered or i dun wan to see so much attitude. I guess if we have to stay with our in laws, have to close one eye to everything n learn how to give n take. its not easy n i am still adapting, even though i stayed with them for abt 4 yrs.

piyo n porky, why do u guys wana see yr gynae after 8 weeks? u guys r afraid coz of our history? bt, isnt it tough especially if u noe u r preggie. i guess we will want to find out hows bb developing in our stomach. i think for me, if i am tested positive, will go to my gynae soon. dun wan to wait too long. bt, nt sure which gynae to go back too since i have 2 gynaes now.
 
porky..imagine the ordeal im going thru now....i dread coming home for now....all tis doesnt help in emotional well being....the twist & turn of events are too stressful le...haizz...

sheryl...wat i have done so far is to close both eyes otherwise gets frustrated but simply a little overboard to sum extent....i hate the feeling whereby i cant cook dinner when too tired or lazy to dine out....im counting the days by hrs....

guess i will be caught as to when to visit the gynae if im preggy again....the reason why to wait till 8 weeks is bcos we will worry ourselves sumtimes if things are not so certain in the early stage which is not veri healthy for the foetus....it's a yo-yo kinda of feeling....
 
when i was preggie with my first kid, i was seeing Dr Christopher Chen at gleneagles. I was 5weeks only on my first visit, he did hormone blood test on me, and said that my hormone level was very low. So, for my first trimester, i had to go to his clinic everyday except sunday, to have hormone treatment done, and take lots of hormone pills. Juz for 10 weeks of it, it cost me $3K+. When my condition was more stable, i decided to change gynae, which is my present gynae now at TMC, because Dr Chen doesn't have any package and his fees are really high. My new gynae thinks that he is overcharging me and the treatment was unecessary.

for this pregnancy, i didn't go to my gynae till i was 9 weeks. I wanted to see him earlier, but he was fully booked and was also away for 1 week.

I was thinking if I have gone back to my first gynae and has the hormone treatment again, maybe i could have save my bb.

Looking forward, if i were ever to get preggie again, i also dunno who to see.
 
hi gals...i m quite surprised to know that there are many of us here actually stay with in laws. In my circle group of frens, most of them stay on their own after married..so i alwez think why i m so unlucky?? only i need to stay with my in law...sianz!

we used to stay at my in law place after married for almost 4 years...my mil passed away quite early, so in the end we only stay with FIL. although ppl said that staying with FIL is much better then with MIL, which i agree also to some extent, but i still hope not to stay with them. We just shifted in to our new nest end of last year..then FIL move in this year January. I was very unhappy on the 1st few days when he moves in, even cry inside my room! (i was pregnant by then, but i didnt know). Everyday bad mood, dun feel like gg home. Same feeling as u all lo..i used to have all the freedom, since it's me and hubby home ma..suddenly he moves in..feels like i lost all my freedom in the house. He's very unhygenic as well, like pees in the toilet never aim chun-chun, throw eaten apples out of window(my hubby caught him, and lecture him then), alwez cut his nails at the window bay, then i have to clean it...so fed up! Worst still, 2 wks ago, when my hubby went for re-service, he brought back his gf to stay overnight at our home, i was very pissed off...!!! The next day, i locked my bedroom and study room b4 i left for work. I wont stay in the living room if my hubby is not around, i m not comfortable at all with him. But luckily, most of the time he is not at home, so our house is just like a hotel for him, he leaves home at abt 8am daily, and came back ard 8pm daily! He also never do any housework, all his clothing, the toilet he used, me and hubby clean for him! i alwez complain...but no use, in the end will only end up quarrel with my hubby. So now, just close eyes lo..
 
shirley....we were staying on our own all along untill recently they shifted in....an aftermath of us clearing other's mess....at least u are dealing wif 1 but im dealing wif 2....the good thing is ur FIL is out most of the time but for mine....they are around most of the time....tis is juz a temporary measure but seriously im at the verge of eruption.....
 
hi piyobaby...ya, i understand wat u mean..so, maybe i should consider myself lucky..as only need to deal with my FIL, last time when my MIL was around, also many unhappiness happens, furthermore my hubby is their only son, so the mother very rely on him..how long does ur PIL plan to stay at ur home? at least u know it's temporary...mine is sort of permanent! He's not working somemore, so rely on his son on the monthly expenses. But now, he just sold the old flat, so he got $$ to spend on his daily gambling activities!!
 
Piypbaby,
i am dealing with 3. FIL, MIL and SIL. Actaully mine is SIL giving the most problem. My MIL is ok. she help me to take care of my boy as well as do most of the hse work.
 
shirley the story is realli long...we used to stay together incldg BILs....as we would like to start our family as in buying flat & all...they have to sell the flat as hb is the main applicant....dats how we shifted into our own nest...they used to stay opp our blk but due to stupid BIL who change job & cant keep up wif the repayment...they appeal to sell resulting in the fix we are in now...all the monies PIL got from sales of flat goes to dat BIL & now we have to pick up after his mess.....
 
jappooh....in ur case can onli pray that she get hitched soon....the newspaper on my dining table remains....after at least a week....as if we dun have newspaper in the hse....fainted!!!

im sorrie gers but sumhow i have sparked off a 'staying wif PIL' complain trend....=p
 
Piyobaby,
i also hope my sil get married soon. But look like is not easy.. Her relationship all cant last one..

i understand your feeling, cos of diff up bringing we are like need to adjust to their life style. When i just married really cant stand my hubby. When he change he can throw his dirty clothes everywhere one then i have to be the one gg ard to pick it up. Get angry and have to "teach" him where to put the dirty clothes.. Cos my MIL pamper him he is like that when he is at hm. So after that he try to change at times still will but now so much better. We have to give and take loh. Cos he never can meet my standard on cleaning the hse.
 
wow jappooh...sound like u are one who is veri particular abt cleanliness...im not very particular yet cant stand them....the whole house seem to be invaded by their 'smell....
 
Hi hi!

Crazy week for me.... Not used to doing admin work....
Just found out that my best friend is 7 weeks pregnant yesterday... sob sob.... I would be in my 2nd trimester by now, if I'm still pregnant.... I realise deep down inside me, I still can't let go.....

Stephy: My D&C was on 18th Feb so it took about 1 month... Hopefully my next few cycles are on time....

Porky: *hugs* I guess everyone of us here know how difficult it is for ppl to keep asking or talking about it.... Now my heart aches even more when I heard my gf pregnant.... My emotions are still running all around....

Shirley: How was your trip?? Had fun shopping and eating?? I'm still taking TCM... my chinese physician will change my medication according to my cycle.... this week dosage taste HORRIBLE!!! haha... eeven my colleagues say how I can take such stuff....
 


cynthia...my side aint any beta....every week im hearing sumbody ard mi juz got preggy...heard another one few hrs ago...they juz got married in dec 07....=)
 
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