Support group - Miscarriages

Ling,

So you start taking the vitamins after your 3rd mc?

Actually, I am not sure what helps. Cos I always have problem conceiving, but after seeing TCM for 6 mths I got pregnant, but it did not last. I heard that Blackmore preconception vitamins are good, so I took that too for 3 mths before I strike. So, not sure if its the TCM or the vitamins.
 


mummies,
Had my scan on Tue & Gynae said water sac size has not grown much from 3.5 wks back and there is no heartbeat, only water sac. Had to take a blood test twice to check if HCG is rising. If yes, then there is hope, if no then bad. Results will be out tonite. This is my #2 and I had all the pregnancy symptoms which I can recognise and I have no spotting or abdominal pain at all. So this came as a complete shock and am very nervous . Hoping for the best but mentally prepared for the worst as technically speaking I shld be at least 9wks now, so the gap in growth very big.

Anyone experienced this & can share? Shld I seek 2nd opinion? And if really bad news & must do D&C, do u do mini confinement?
 
Hi teddy, the hcg bt will cfm everything. For me I saw hb in week 5&6 but wk8 can't detect but there was growth. So gynae derive the hb probably stop vy recent before the scan. so I asked for bt n did comparison. It dropped from 21k to 16k within 2 days apart bt.
Yes I did a 2 weeks mini confinement..
 
teddybear,

Both my mc are very different. The first came in as a great shock as my pregnancy symptoms are very strong and my first scan went well. Suddenly, on the second scan at 9th week, no more heartbeat. I did not experience any spotting or abdominal pain at all. I did went for second opinion but result came in the same. I did D&C back then.

Second mc was rather expected, I got bfp but very faint line. As gynae can only start scanning at 6th week, I continue my testing but all came too faint, but I was given progesterone to take daily. So, when i went for the scan, no heartbeat detected. I did the HCG blood test to see if the hormone doubled, but it did not. I had spotting throughout this round. So, I did not go for D&C, I choose naturally this time.

I did mini confinement for both mc.

Stay positive, your emotion plays an important part. Take care & rest well.
 
Thks dolly. I guess for me at wk 5 was too early to have heartbeat, so gynae prob didn't sense anything amiss then. Did u get 2nd opinion?

How did u do a mini-confinement? As in take confinement food, drink logan water with ginger etc & did u bathe daily? etc Am really at a loss
 
Teddy, I had scan at different clinic n machine but same gynae. But since hcg drop tat much, no point go see another opinion.
Yes I didn't bathe daily, with our weather dun bathe I go crazy... go
I pm u later on the confinement details..
 
Thks princess & dollygal for sharing. I was shocked when gynae told me the bad news on Tue and cried a lot that night, but now much calmer and preparing for the worst, hence asking all these questions. I'm the type who needs proper planning when doing things, so trying to see how to go abt doing mini confinmenet as its so last min & don't think anyone in family can help to do the cooking
 
Hi teddybaby,

Very sorry to hear about what happened.. Don't worry too much about the mini confinement, just do what you can.. Food can be easily settled with catering.. I've not tried but i heard natal essentials is good and there's no msg.. Other than confinement food, i pretty much just rested at home to calm the mind, no strenuous activities, i still did the usual stuff like bathing and drinking water on top of the longan red dates tea.. Take care!
 
teddybaby,

I ordered from chilli padis this time. Foods not bad but of course when taken for a long period of time, may get sick of the food. As this round is natural mc, I took only a week HL. So, I ordered 2 weeks confinement food, but I ask for special request. First week, I order the tingkat for lunch and dinner. Second week, I started work, so I ordered only dinner. As the price is counted by meals, so I actually ate for 3 weeks. Summary, 1 week for 2 meals, 2 weeks for 1 meal.

I drink the longan red dates everyday. I did bath but with chinese white wine. This is advised by my TCM as I cannot skip the bath, so white wine can keep your body warm.

After the spotting stops, then you can start to brew bazhen or shi quan da bu dang with DOM. DOM is good to recuperate and heal wounds in the womb.
 
Thks ladies. Quick question: u do get heaty taking those confinement food since we did not go thru the birth process technically? Cos am the type that gets heaty easily, the only time I can take tonics was during my confinement for #1. Other than that, if I try to take any tonics or eat some fried food etc I will get heaty & fall sick.

Princess, why u switch to chilli padis? Is the food served still hot & no msg & too salty/oily? Your previous caterer is?
 
teddybaby,

I am also a heaty person originally. My first was done by my MIL, she do not know my body condition well. She cooked the foods as heaty as possible, so I ended up having daily headache and eventually nose bleed. Chilli padis was recommended by friends, so I give it a try. The foods is served warm, not hot. Its not too salty/oily. Msg I am not sure.
 
For my first 2 week I m ok only starts feel heaty on my 3rd week which is this week. Lips red n pain now.
I tried both natal n newbaby trial. Prefer natal but my mil said she can cook for me n save $$...
U can look at their menu, buy ready pack herbs soup n boil urself. I m still making soup myself to drink these few days. Tell my dh u have yo bu together w me...
 
Teddybaby,

I'm also very heaty by nature.. But i didn't fall sick with the confinement food.. My parents cooked for me, no herbs, just lotsa sesame oil, ginger and rice wine.. And they'll always cook another normal neutral vege dish without those 3 items so at least it's more balanced and not too heaty.. I also continued to drink water and ate fruits like apples.. But i did have bad pimple breakouts on my face after 2 wks..
 
Hugs everyone.

Hold on to the faith that things happen for a reason and it might be a blessing in disguise.

I have my fair share of experience, the worse thing to happen. I lost my baby gal at week 39 d 4, she was a healthy full term baby. Went into normal labour pain but 10 mins after epidural her heartbeat stop. Just stop not drop, no way to save her even though an emergency csec was done.

It happen last dec, I choose my path to be happy to remain positive and to believe things happen for a reason.

Hang hold have faith, better things will come.

Good luck to all.
 
Elise, u r very strong. The pain u go thru must have been much worse than mine. Thks for your supportive words.

Mummies, just got my blood test result. Hcg level slight dip which is not gd, suppose to rise by almost double. went to seek 2nd opinion as well to triple confirm and same conclusion. So will be going for d&g on Mon morning
sad.gif
 
Teddy,

Dun tik too much. I must say when I was in ot when push in, I still cry uncontrollable. The ot nurse still ask me is it u work too much? I was like no, it just stopped... then she gave me tissues to wipe my tears. When gynae came in. I try to b calm down.once slp, u dun feel anything.
Rem take care of ur body, bu ur body back for next round. I keep telling myself I will always rem my angel. Perhaps u buy something to memory of the bb to make urself better..
 
teddybear,

Think positively, perhaps it is not the right time yet. Some people believe the baby will come back to us one day. After d&c, rest more at home. Order the confinement foods and housework to someone else. Keep yourself warm at all times, wear sock too.

Take care!!
 
dear all,
Had my D&C done yday morning. All was well until evening time when I read a poem on miscarriage online 7 started weeping out so loud that my hubby who was napping woke up from sleep & asked me what happened. And from then on, till now I've been an emotional wreck. I don't know why...crying alot and losing temper at my hubby. I hope this is just temporary

Decided not to order confinement food cos too exp and some of the food is not so suitable for me as they are too heaty. So doing it myself and hubby help cook whenever he can and some dinners by in laws.

Do u all feel very down after D&C? And when u r doing mini confinement, do u go out at all or just stay at home most of the time unless necessary?
 
Hi teddy, it's natural that we feel upset after d&c.during my first week I still tear till I fall asleep. 2Nd week I tried pick up my mood by going out for short walk. but to b Frank it's aso not easy. Every corner I m, I see pregnant ladies n babies. Felt quite down initially n tried to avoid seeing them. The more I avoid the more I see.
When I saw my dh frd 's wife who just celebrated 2nd bb full month, I suddenly dun feel like talking to her, just kept quiet until my dh asked me y I ignore her. I replied I nothing much to say, dun force me.
I din really want stay at home alone too much cos like vy lonely n start Tiking again.
 
Hi teddybear,

You are normal. I cried for the next few days after d&c. I took a longer time to recover psychologically for my first mc. Moreover, that time its the dragon year. Everywhere is pregnant women. I was very imbalance then, why people can get pregnant so easily, I took more than 2 years and yet I mc. And also, perhaps its came too sudden so I am not prepared mentally. This time round, I knew something is wrong with the pregnancy right from the beginning. So, I think I recover fairly well.

I did not go out at all during my first confinement, for 2 whole weeks. The second one, I went back to work after a week.

Feel free to rant here, dun keep it to yourself, its unhealthy.
 
Dolly gal, same here. If I stay at home all day and do nothing I think I will be thinking alot and hard to move on. But at the same time, also don't feel like going out or meeting frens. I was suppose to meet up with a gd Fren this mth and share my pregnancy news with her after my first trim, but now I don't think I will be ready to meet her soon Cos she is also preggy due in Oct
 
Princess, I can understand your feelings last yr. My #1 is 4 and we have been trying for past 2 yrs for #2. Last yr dragon yr, so many of my frens or frens of dh giving birth. Everytime I hear of them, I just get more disappointed .

What do u all do to.pass time? My dh wants to download some dramas for me to watch but I also not very keen...
 
Teddy,

My hubby download dramas for me too, all those comedy ones. I just watched the dramas and surf nets, something I do some reading, do cross stitches etc. I just try to keep myself busy even though I am lying down/sitting. I just try to distract myself away from the sorrows, cos I know if I stop doing things, my mind will start to flood with my baby. The first confinement is 2 whole weeks, but time passed rather fast cos I was doing up my website for freelance job. So, I had my focus elsewhere. And my hubby can work from home, so I can talk to him even though he is working.
 
Teddy, be strong for ur #1..like I hug my godson n dote him like my own. His mum teach him say i love u gan ma whenever I video call him.this really warms my heart n make me walk down the path stronger daily.
 
i cried buckets for a day..kept asking myself what did i do wrong that cause bb heartbeat to stop.

i did 2 full month of confiment at my mom's place. heart is slowly healing..

take care girls..
 
Hi I've been a silent reader for the past wk or two and after reading about cases of multiple mc would just like to share some info. Have any of your gynaes ever checked for Incompetent Cervix (IC)?
This could be a likely cause for multiple mc especially in cases where the pregnancy was progressing along well only for labour to start early or with unexplained bleeding etc.

I had a LEEP procedure done about half year bf i got pregnant and was told that it would result in a 50% chance of IC whereby the cervix dilates and/ or shortens prematurely causing the sac and embryo to fall out when it can no longer be adequately supported. Even women who never had such surgeries may have ICs.

This normally presents itself between wks 12-17 when baby grows bigger and sac heavier. My own situation: wk 12-13.5 cervix was at relatively normal length and thereafter it shortened and funnelled so quickly that i was admitted immediately after the scan was re-confirmed.

Do ask your gynaes if there is a possibility you may have an IC. All they will have to do is monitor closely between those crucial weeks via vaginal u/s scan and if necessary will put stitches in to prevent early mc if they feel it may be likely. Stitches will only be removed ard wks 36-37 to allow for delivery.

I am thankful my dr kept very close watch over me else i would have lost my bb by 16wks. I hope this info can help even just one of you out here as one baby lost is such tragedy.

I do hope each and everyone of you will have a healthy baby in the near future
 
Hi I'm new here . I had ectopic in oct last yr . Now can't detect the heartbeat . I'm waiting for beta hcg result to see whether I need to wash off . Haiz .. Sad .

I just hope can have 2nd child but yet so difficult .
 
Hi thanks ladies , any suggestion on bath during this period ? Just hot water or need to use herbs ? Can wash hair ? I know need to do mini confinement . Doc only give me mc till 16 June . Not two weeks . Not sure isn't too short but he said should be enough.
 
Finally confirm miscarriage. Did ivf with two embryo transfer. Blood test has been double as usual. When done my first scan. No sac seen. Suspect ectopic. Waited a week for next scan. Not ectopic coz no pregnancy found outside uterus. Decide not to have the injection and to let natural miscarriage since blood test seems going down. After a week, do beta test again. Blood test went up. Doctor advise to do injection. If not its not getting anywhere and they worry pregnancy is outside uterus. So come down and did a scan again. This time they saw a sac. Miracle. Doctor confuse too. Mayb one miscarriage, one just implanted. Waited for a week again to scan. Beta test went up but not doubled. Scan, sac still there but not growing and no yolk or fetal pole. Again its known as miscarriage. But my doctor is very encouraging. She knew i wont have any injection or medicine to stop the pregnancy. Since they saw a sac in uterus, doctor do not worry its pregnancy outside uterus. And can agree to let it natural miscarriage and let the sac bleed and come out by itself. No time limit. But anytime when I feel tired to wait, i can just tell the doctor to help me stop the pregnancy. I just cant do it. And shall wait for natural miscarriage to happens. But by any case any of you ladies experience it? How long usually the empty sac will just miscarriage by itself? Doctor is monitoring me two weeks once for scanning and see her. Blood test not required since it is not very helpful.

Such a roller coaster my first ivf. So tired going for blood test and scans. Sian...
 
Baby dusty , is good can let it nature miscarriage but my doc said to prevent infection so is better to wash off .

I can understand the feeling of scan and wait for the result . It really very tired . My last ectopic after injection I still do blood test ever week till beta hcg go back to normal . So tired. Back to office no one understand why I need to hl so long , they don't know what is ectopic .

I really don't know what can we do to prevent all this mc and ectopic . Maybe not ours lah , still need to the right time .
 
Shirley: Oh is it how to cause infection? doctor never tell me anything about infection. Because last week I already started spotting not heavy. Not pain. It has stop two days ago. So no spotting already for now. Hmmmm

Yup ever experience ectopic for my 1st normal pregnancy. At least that ordeal was not long, bleeding, in pain, key hole surgery and come back to check blood only.

Natural i guess takes time and really testing my patience. I really hope i have all the strength.
 
Doc Han from Kkh told me that . Because I want to opt for natural miscarriage but he advise me that . Diff doc will have diff advise . You can just follow your doc .

Ectopic is the worse , everyday worry . My 2nd pregnancy I'd ectopic , first day admitted doc lau advise me to do surgery but I insist to wait for my doc Han. Lucky the sac getting smaller and beta hcg drop and no pain so they agree to wait for another day till my doc is back . End out I just did injection let it natural miscarriage .

This 3rd pregnancy is only can se sac no heartbeat . Sad

Should I try again ? I don't know leh

Btw , now u are waiting for nature miscarriage ? See other mummy k advise you on that .
 
Shirley: Just dont give up if you can. One day will sure strike.

Yup same as your third, got sac no heartbeat or yolk. sac also not growing after one week. So ill just wait for natural miscarriage. Coz i dont bear to do the injection also.
 
Can , u just let it naturely miscarriage . Wait for othe monther advise you .

So you got any kids ? I got one girl this yr 4 yrs old .
 
Baby dusty,
my Gynae advised d&c to prevent infection and also if natural miscarriage didn't come out totally clean and left bits inside, can't tell from scan and may affect future fertility, that's why I went for it though I had no bleeding or pain. I think it also helps one to move on if confirm rather then waiting for it to wash out on its own. From what I research in.internet, it can take up to a, few Weeks for it to happen and I definitely don't want that myself dragging on so long. In fact for my case, pregnancy stop progressing at least 3 Weeks already (from scan) but still no signs of bleeding.

Shirley, my #1 also 4 yo and I am trying for #2
 
Shirley, my tcm doc say ok to wash hair and bathe but with warm water. Best to do that during day time. I also blow dry it immediately, and wear pants at least covering below knee level when sleeping at night. All this to prevent catching cold Cos our body is already weak from ms. Take care
 
Babydusty, I had a natural miscarriage whereby the sac stopped growing at 5+weeks. I also couldn't bring myself to take medication or d&c as I wanted it to end naturally. It took a total of 4 weeks for me to have a natural miscarriage. I didn't have any spotting at all for the first 3 weeks. But once I started having brown spotting, the natural miscarriage happened within a week. While waiting for natural miscarriage, the doc asked me to watch out for any fever as it can be a sign of infection. My doc did mentioned not to wait too long as it will increase the risk of infection. When in doubt its better to check with your doc. Take care there.
 
BabyDusty,

My doc also mentioned about infection. For my first mc, I did not feel any pain or spotting. From the scan, can see that baby stopped growing for 2 weeks already., So, doc advised at most can wait for another week, else have to do d&c. For the second one, I had spotting and scan shows stopped growing for a week. So, doc say can let it bleed naturally.

Take care!
 


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