Support group - Miscarriages

[gladdy]

Hi millie
You have been pregnant before & you will get pregnant again, be POSITIVE, my gf just ask me to borrow a book called Subconscious mind it really help me abit, I am now trying to be POSITIVE, though sometimes still abit disheartened but I am trying to brush out all negative thots in my life

Hi Tintin

Don't keep on thinking of the past unhappiness,when you have negative thots, brush away & tell yourself Your body will be healthy your baby will be alright

You need to be happy so that your body will be strong

You will be okay!

 

[tintin_again]

hi gladdy...
thanks! i'm trying not to think too much... trying v hard to be happy... hv even started toking to my bb... hehe...

hey, jus realise a typo in my message abv... i meant to say that the doc said there was no bleeding...

 

[folic]

Hi TinTin,

glad to hear that you are ok

I guess the shadow of the previous pregnancy will always hang around us but I do hope you will try not to be too affected.. I know it is easier said than done. Right now, I am still hesitant about trying again.

Gladdy,

I think the first AF after D&C will come about 6-8 weeks after the bleeding stop. You should not be expecting it to come at your "normal time". Sometimes cramps is also a sign of preg though.. I had that when I was preg previously. Do take care.

Where is everyone else?

Folic

 

[tiny]

Hello all,
Been real busy at work. Glad that there's some postings to read today and that everyone's fine.

Tintin, felt relieved for u after I read your clarification! I was wondering why u put the smiley emoticon in the 1st post, but was thinking good for u - so positive. Then I read your 2nd post...

Millie, hopefully your AF is coming soon. Very likely, I also had this dull crampy feeling altho it lasted for about 1 1/2 weeks before my AF finally came. Mine took really long - 7 weeks after my D&C. It was rather heavy for the 1st 3 days and now it's finally over. Life is back to normal again!

Soft, how's everything? Hope all is well. Do take care.

Well, just to let u know, I've confirmed my Vietnam trip from in Dec, and since my AF took so long to come, it's going to be very unlikely I'll be pregnant then so no worries!

Tiny

 

[soft]

Hi Tiny

I went for my checkup last sat. As I am only 4 weeks plus, gynae could only see a sac. However, to my horror.... I had quite a fair bit of spotting today. I was so worried I quickly went to a gynae near my place. This time round, saw the water bag and the yolk sac. I was given 1 week bed rest at home and also took a jab to stablise the pregnancy and a blood test to see my hcg level. Will still have to monitor to see if this pregnancy is viable. I really hope that all will be well and fine. Really do not know how am I going to go through if anything happens again.

 

[tiny]

Dearest Soft,
*hugz* Don't fret, there is still hope! Just get the bed rest you need and try not to think negative thoughts. I know it must be so difficult, esp. after what we've gone through before. But you must be strong ok? Don't let the past affect you in a negative way. We are all here for you, rooting for you.

God bless...take good care.

tiny

 

[folic]

Hi soft,

Do make sure you have complete bed rest during this week and try to minimise movement. I had spotting in my initial stages and was given hormone jabs and pills.

Take care... my thoughts are you with!

folic

 

[tiny]

Hi Folic,
Is everything ok? Why were you up at 3:03am?
Have a good day!

 

[tintin_again]

hi all...
me still hv a bit of spotting yest. but trying not to think too much into it... still continuing to take my pills and all... so wld monitor the situation and see how.

i was told that spotting is not uncommon when pregnancy is stabilising.

soft...
dun wori too much abt it... i know we tend to wori cos of wat we hv gone thru... i can understand how u feel and go thru totally. jus relax... wat i do is i tok to my bb... i ask it not to mk mummy and daddy wori, mummy and daddy love it and dun wan anything to happen etc.

surprisingly, it helps...

 

[gladdy]

Hi tin tin
keep it up, yr good thoughts...

Hi soft
at least u are ok can see the dot...for my case previously i didn't even see the doc or sac, imagine my stress.....

Hi folic
u are an early bird wake up at 3am

Hi millie

Are you okay

 

[millie]

gladdy, dun worry. i m not being negative on not able to get pregnant. it's just tt the chances of me getting pregnant is quite low. we use protection. so most likely, my AF is coming soon. moreover, no preggie symptons.

tiny, u felt the same crampy feelings too. gd tt i know it's normal and i shall look forward to my AF. so u r going vietnam. hee...make a 'made in vietnam' baby yah!

me and my hubby still deciding on where to go. states seems so far and ex. maybe go nearer places like japan or korea.

soft & tintin, dun worry too much abt spotting. it's quite common and the frens i hv who encountered spotting all deliver smoothly. think positive and rest well. Bless the two of u and ur babies.

 

[gladdy]

Hi millie
Glad you are fine. Going on holiday that's NICE
why u still using protection, when planning for the baby, I actually have pluck up my courage to try again now...though the past experience still hunt me off & on
I think my situation quite similar to you,I didn't undergo D&C too

 

[tintin_again]

hi millie and gladdy...
thanks so much for ur words... do u know how comforting it is to hear them? hehe....

wld update all of u again when i go see gynae next mon.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi soft
Listen to the doc and don't do any strenuous stuff which includes doing the laundry.... Rest and rest a lot. I will pray for you too. Look on the positive side, at least your pregnancy grew....

Hi tintin again
Just keep being positive. I read somewhere that the hormones we produce when we are happy (endorphins or something like that) can reach the baby in a matter of minutes and make the baby happy too? The same thing happens for stress and worries hormones. So whatever it is, keep it light hearted.

 

[soft]

To all wonderful ladies here....

Thank you so much for all the encouraging words. I am so touched. I will try my very best to take good care of myself and the baby. I know I should look on the positive side and pray that all will be fine. Will keep all of you updated on my progress. Luv you all....

 

[gladdy]

Hi all

I think we need alot of encouragements & supports over this thread.
I really hope all of us can overcome the past & be proud healthy mummies.

For those who are mummies to be, stay positive & brush off all negative thots that come by

Extracts fm the book my gf shared w me:

Affirmations are positive statements that describe how you want your body to be. They are very important because they align your mind with your body in a positive way. As the healing meditations (exercise 3) achieve this goal through the use of positive images, affirmations do it through the power of suggestion. Your state of health is determined in part by the interaction between your mind and body via the thousands of messages you send yourself each day with your thoughts. You can aggravate your fibroid and endometrial menstrual bleeding and cramps as well as pelvic discomfort with negative thoughts, because when your body believes it is sick, it behaves accordingly. Thus, it is essential to cultivate a positive belief system and a positive body image as part of your healing program. It is not enough to follow an excellent diet and a vigorous exercise routine when you are in the process of healing menstrual cramps. You must also tell your body that it is a well, fully functional system. I have seen people stay ill and sabotage their healing program by sending themselves a barrage of negative messages

Hope it helps
Don't worry Be happy

 

[folic]

Hi Soft and Tintin,

how are you today? Hope you have been good girls and resting.. and i mean really resting!!

Tiny, I am ok.. Just that I suddenly woke up at 2.30 am, thinking that I have a conference call at 6am ( I work in a lot of WW projects, so got odd hour calls). So I woke up to check my calendar

folic

 

[soft]

Hi Folic

I am fine and yes, been a good girl, doing nothing but eat, sleep and watch tv. However, I do not have much appetitie, cannot finish my meal everytime. Just received a call from my gynae regarding my test results. He said that my hcg level is ok but progesterone level is below average (only 16, at my stage now shld be at least 20 or 21) and I need to go back to have my jab twice a week. The jab was done at my buttock area. It was so painful....I almost cried. I guess my threshold for pain must be very very low. Do you know is there any other way than jab to increase the progesterone level?

 

[tiny]

Hi Folic,
I'm not able to sleep or tend to wake up in the middle of the night when there's something bugging me, or when I feel depressed over something, so i thought the same for u. Glad to know u are ok!

Gladdy, I think Millie is using protection cos she's waiting for her 1st AF to come after m/c, am I right Millie? We've been advised to only start trying after 1 cycle...at least.

And Millie, the problem is, I won't be with my hubby during the time he has to work (about 10 days in Dec) cos I'll be going around Vietnam with my best friend & her hubby first, then meet up with him only when he's done! So...made in Vietnam? Maybe not after all...

Soft & Tintin, remember...happy thoughts!

Goodnight everyone!

 

[folic]

Hi soft,

I had that jab in my buttock daily for a week when I had spotting the second time round. There is the progesterone pill(duphaston) as well but I think the effect of the jab is more direct. Bear with it ok?

Tiny, Thanks for you thought. I am staying up late tonite to participate in a midnite conference call. (just in case you thought i have something bugging me!

)

Actually, I find that I am getting along well these few weeks. I even managed to talk to a preg woman in my office. She used to work in the same project as me and she got preg one month after me. But, as my due date comes closer, I do get this sudden sad feeling and wondering what it would be like to be anticipating the arrival of a baby instead of mourning for a lost one... I am bracing myself for Dec 20....

folic

 

[tintin_again]

harlow everyone...

i had a bit of spotting last nite... sigh... so scared...

yes... i'm trying my best to rest as much as i can. still working, but i try to stay at my seat as much as i can and not move abt.

now still on the hormone pills. cant wait to see my gynae next mon...

hey soft...
bear with the pain yeh? for ur bb's sake.

folic...
jus hang on, i'm sure u can get over the day. i used to hv a prob looking at preggies after my m/c... but slowly, i told myself "hey, luckily there are more fortunate pple than me in this world who need not go thru wat i had to." and i wish them all the best in my heart.

 

[millie]

gd morning everyone!!

yup yup, use protection until 1st AF come! how smart u r, tiny!

oh, no made in vietnam? well, got to stick to local protection then! keke....

to tintin, soft and folic, be strong. sorrie there's nothing much i can do but know tt my thoughts are with u!! i really wish and pray for gd news for all of us here!

 

[millie]

folic,

was looking thru the thread for japan. are u the same folic posted there? can i ask u questions on travelling in japan?

no concrete plans yet but my hubby and i are considering going japan end dec for abt 10 days. now checking ard for ticket availability and prices. could u advice for lodging, which area to stay is the best? shiagawa, shinjuku or ikebukuro? and how much does the subway cost?

thinking of buying 7 day railpass travel to osaka, kyoto, etc. any suggestions where else i can visit?

thks yah!!!

 

[misspiggy]

hi tintin & soft...

i'm new here, can i join u gals?

i'm in a smilar position... my first bb, only 5+ weeks, having spotting on and off. Once I had very light bleeding like menses

Gynae had given me a jab at the butt (ouch!) and I'm on duphaston. Feeling very worried, especially when i have mild cramps when i sleep

 

[tintin_again]

hi piggy...
r u resting at home now? u shld not be mvg ard too much.

 

[modi]

Hi Soft, TinTin_again & Piggy,

Just like to share with you gals that I've staining problems in my initial pregnancy too. I'm 9wk+ pregnant now. I started stainings 2 days before my AF due. I thought I've an early AF, but I find it strange as the stainings condition lasted for a day. I tested out the test kit and found positive. I was like scared to death. After that, I've on & off stainings condition till last round in wk 7. Gynae gave me a jab and some medicine to take. He was saying this is for "Pu Tai". I visited him again on Monday and after some checking, he say my baby is moving on fine and no more injection required. Though I'm still in the 1st trimesters and is still not out of the "Dangerous period", I do feel better after seeing my baby shaking head during Monday scan.

Therefore, just like to let you gals know that never give up even though we're facing spotting/stainings problem. People like us who have M/C before will always get freak out when we see bleeding. The path forward is tough, but we must try our best. Just remember to rest during this period and I do find that staining conditon will improve after some bed rest. Sometime, I find that sitting may not be as good due to force of gravity.

Look forward to hearing good news from you gals. Take care.

 

[folic]

Hi Millie,

so nice.. to go for holiday! So this means you going free and easy? Much nicer too. I usually stay in Shinjuku area cos it very convenient and also cos my company has good corporate rates with one of the hotels there - Century Southern Towers. It is just directly across Times Square - where you will find Takashimaya, Kinokuniya and Tokyo Hands. According to my hubby who stayed there for 7-8 years, Shinagawa is near tokyo city, which is more business bldg areas and Ikebukuro hotels are usually not near train stations. Shinjuku train station also got better connections to places that you can go. The train fares are usually quite ok.. about 150-300 yen per trip.

You should only buy the rail pass if you are going from Tokyo to Osaka/Kyoto etc. If you are staying only in Tokyo, it will not be worthwhile. If you got to Kyoto, you might want to take the opportunity to stay in some traditional ryokans there. I think it would be SUPERB to go to an onsen on a cold winter day!

get carried away...

i will dig through my old itinerary and then give you more info!

folic

 

[misspiggy]

hi tintin,
I've been at home for 1 wk. Gynae said I don't need total bedrest, but cannot go office... of course i try to lie down whenever i can. Spotting reduced after the jab but i'm afraid it'll worsen. Next week I have to go back office

hi modi,
thanks for being so encouraging

2 or 3 more weeks ur bb will be stabilised. u muz take care 2!

 

[millie]

hi pple,

my AF is here! just came and i just feel so happy!

modi, congrats and thks for sharing. it helps esp when i intend to start trying again.

piggy, rest well and dun worry too much yah.

folic, thks for info. whenever u free, can share more info with me?

due to time and budget constraint, we may visit for only abt 6-7 days. is kyoto or osaka nicer? will day trip to either place be enuf? is the time frame too short for toyko, osaka and kyoto?

erh, what is onsen? paiseh yah...so many questions!

 

[millie]

folic,

know wat is onsen liao. went to check on internet. wow.....tt seems tempting...dip in hot water in the cold weather.

any onsen to recommend in kyoto? thks!

 

[tiny]

Hi all,

Millie, good for u! You're lucky it came so fast, for me had to wait so long! But now that it's here we can 'jia you' and try together!

Anyway girls, I visited my gynae today who checked my ovaries, and he says I have a condition which makes me produce too much male hormones...which is why my periods are delayed. He also says I produce too many eggs (??) I'm not too sure what he means cos why would having male hormones produce too many eggs? And what's the consequence of that? Or maybe it isn't even related?! I dunno why I didn't ask him then (think i was more worried about my fertility) but he assured me that it's easily under control, but he'd rather not do any fertility treatment and would like me to try naturally this month first. He says since I got pregnant before it shouldn't be much problem. But after I went back to work & thought about it, i got worried...Anyway I'll be seeing him again next Monday so I'll be more prepared to ask him more.

Anyone has any clue what may be going on?

 

[soft]

Hi Piggy

Of course! You are most welcome. We are here to share and support each other. I am also in my 5 weeks plus now and will be going back to work on next Wednesday. Today I am feeling much better, the spotting has stopped and I really hope that it will never appear till the day I deliver. I have learned from the gals here not to worry too much as your baby will be able to sense it. So try to stay positive and cheerful. ok?

Hi Tintin and folic

Ya, will have to bear with the pain for the sake of baby. But hor... its really painful

Thinking of tomorrow make me so scared.

Hi Modi

Thanks so much for the words. Its really good to hear that you have more or less settled and approaching your 2nd trimester. Hang in there. We all can make it and looking forward to hear about your birth story in June/July 2004.

To the rest of the wonderful ladies here

We are all here to support one another. Jia You!

 

[tiny]

Hi again,
I think he was trying to tell me that i have polycystic ovaries (he mentioned it) - can anyone shed more info on it? But he kept telling me not to worry about it cos I managed to get pregnant, meaning i did ovulate...and that I should again. Wonder what that means then?

To all the successful ones, keep going!

Tiny

 

[folic]

Hi millie,

6-7 days should be ok for 2-3 places but it also depends on your flight schedule. If you take UA, for eg, the flight will dept from SIN at about 7am and arrive at about 2-3 pm tokyo time. By the time you reach city, would be about 5-6pm, so first day is basically gone. Also, on return trip, if UA, will leave at 5+, so you need to leave your hotel by about 1+. If you take SQ, there is a overnight flight there, and you reach around 6-7am in the morning. return is 7pm. Not sure about ANA, JAL.

In Tokyo, you can go to the usual tourist spots such as Asakusa, Ueno, Shinjuku etc and if you are a theme park fan, you can always go to Disneyland and DisneySea. You might want to splurge one night at a Ryokan with onsen near Mt Fuji or Izhu (about 1 hour from Tokyo). My hubby says the onsen in Kyoto not very nice. The ryokans might look expensive on per night basis but usually comes with dinner and breakfast (and usually very delicious food!!)

In Kyoto, you will get to see some of the traditional temples and ancient town things. You might want to stay 1 night there and make a trip to Nara (about 40 mins by train), where you can see deers roaming freely in the park. In Kyoto, you can find some youth hostels like YWCA which is quite good and reasonable price.

Osaka would be similar to Tokyo, in that it is big city. If you want to go for Theme Park, then Universal Studio is there. It takes about 3 hours bullet train to get from Tokyo to Osaka.

Two years ago, when we went to Japan, we flew to Osaka, the proceed to Kyoto, Nara, Takayama ( a mountainous area which is also part of the worlds culture heritage. Stayed in the traditional ryokans there and watched some traditional street festival). That took us about 8 days, if I remember correctly. You might want to check out some free and easy package which usually includes 2 or 3 nights stay in Tokyo or Osaka. City hotels tend to be more expensive so it makes more sense to book as a package.

Hope this helps. You might want to read about some of the travel experience in another thread on this forum- on the honeymoon section.

folic

 

[millie]

folic,

thks so much for advice. really helps in our planning. well, going to agency later to check on flight schedule etc. better make sure tt there's seats available!

tiny,

'jia you' to u too! sorrie i can't help u in ur queries. but since doc says no problem in getting preggie, why not relax and try again.

as i intend to visit japan ard christmas period (if got seats), it will coincide with my wk 4 preggie...if i hit jackpot this time after AF. a bit in the dilemma. but like wat the gals mention here, just go ahead and enjoy and dun think too much. if really preggie, then i shall walk slower and relax on my trip.

and maybe oso get to know where the nearest hosp is?

the wkend is here again. everyone enjoy and to the preggies in this forum, take care yah!!!

 

[bebechic]

hi modi!!! long time no see!! congrats too!!! glad to see so many success stories recently...so happy for you guys!! me still trying my luck...leave it to fate. do take care!!!

 

[orchid]

hi ladies,
you might to check out this website. it has very good information on miscarriages and the next steps. they even have a 'memorial' site for miscarried babies - especially good for parents who need the closure.

www.pregnancyloss.info

 

[tintin_again]

hi all...
been a little quiet lately?

rite now i'm resting at home... been spotting... so given a couple of weeks rest at home by my gynae.

had a hormone jab... now on hormone pills as well...

and at the last visit, i cld see my bb heartbeat already... so exciting...

was shown the flicker flicker on the screen... so cute.

 

[millie]

tintin, i feel very happy reading ur updates.

u rest well yah!

this thread has been real quiet. where is everyone? on hols?

folic, thks for ur japan info. unfortunately, there's no available seats.

but i hv noted down ur info for future trip.

 

[folic]

Hi tintin,
Glad to hear that you can see the bb's heartbeat! Hearing for the first time is one of most touching moments during my pregnancy!

Do rest well and I hope th spotting will stop soon!

Millie, too bad u cant go to Japan this time round. But I think it would be nicer to plan a Japan trip in the Apr timeframe

So mebbe u can start planning for that! I wanted to go Spain in Apr this year but got preg + the SARS thing.. so I am planning for Apr next year instead! Hope I can finally get to go Spain!

folic

 

[missspiggy]

hi tin tin,

bb heartbeat!!! I'm so happy for u

How many weeks r u now?

I'm still spotting on / off slightly... Seeing my gynae next week, will be in my 7th week then. Hope to c bb heartbeat too... can't help getting worried.

 

[bebechic]

hi tintin,
yah lor here very quiet..i think all waiting for your updates.my AF just came. hope to see some results next month.

miss piggy, don't worry too much first. spotting are common, don't give yourself too much stress. do update us as well.

anybody tryin next month or not? then can rara together!!

 

[linda_thea]

Hi tintin

Glad to hear that you can see that tiny heart beating away...

It is just so amazing right?

 

[soft]

Hi tintin

So happy for you that you can see the heartbeat. I am still spotting on and off too since last week. Need to go for hormone jab as well twice a week and on hormone pills. Will go for gynae checkup next week, same as misspiggy. Hope both of us can see it as well.

 

[tintin_again]

hi folic, millie, misspiggy, bebechic, linda and soft....

thanks v much for ur encouragement and words...

when i went for check yest, gynae said it cld be old blood clots and not fresh bleeding, so there is nothing to wori abt. this was wat caused the spotting as well.

seems dat constipation has something to do wif the spotting cos gynae asked me whether i hv constipation.

misspiggy...
i'm going into my 7th week already...

so whh means our EDD is quite near. hehe...

bebechic...
jia you! wishing u and the other gals who are trying all the best! dun give up.

soft...
dun wori abt the spotting. jus hv plenty of rest, and eat well. and dun be scared of the jabs... its for bb's good. the one i had yest was on my thigh not my butt. hehe...

 

[melon]

hi ladies

i have been spotting and gynae has given me hormonal jab and medication 2 days ago. does it mean that the spotting will stop? have been having slight cramps too.
maybe i'm being paranoid but i'm really worried and have no wish to go through the heartache again.

 

[cookies]

hi,
Glad to hv found this site. I hd my M/C in july, though its been months and i've been getting on fine with life, but cant help thinking of those moments on the hospital bed whenever i see pregnant ladies. Recently my 2 colleagues jus gave birth, and if nothing has happened, mine should due soon, it really makes things harder when colleagues starts talking about them. How do you ladies overcome?

 

[tintin_again]

hi melon...
be positive abt things... dun keep thinking abt the bad, it might affect ur bb. if u r going on the jabs and the pills... remain positive. it is not uncommon to spot thru'out pregnancy for some ladies, jus dat when u spot, hv to be extra careful.

dun move abt too much, get as much bed rest as u can.

hi cookies,
the best way to overcome is to be positive, and to look forward and not at the past. it might not be easy... but trying to stay positive helps. another thing, u shld find some activities which wld help u get ur mind off such thots.

all of us here i hv to say, are a reali good help and support for me. sharing ur thots, fears, feelings here helps.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Melon
Just take it easy and think positive. I have heard mnay cases of initial spotting but successfully carried the babe to full term. Just listen to your gynae and follow his/her instructions.

Hi Cookie
Time will heal. Like all of us here... I discovered I did dealt with it better when I shared my feelings of jealousy, bitterness and ability to laugh after a while, with all the gals here. Here we realise that although it is not something we wish to happen, but it in fact is quite common and sometimes, none of our fault and we could have done nothing at all to save it. I started this thread cos I couldn't find anything relevant on those US sites I visited.... I thought I could help someone and in turn help myself when i started this... And I m glad I did so cos I benefited so much from this...

 

[folic]

Hi cookies,

sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my baby at 23 weeks in Aug cos my water bag broke prematurely. In the initial days, I was really in despair and break down at every single thing... and everything I see, I hear, all reminds me of my baby. As time goes by, each day passed by much easier. It was tough for me cos many people around me know that I was pregnant, so when they hear about my loss, they do not know how to react and might at times say the wrong things. I have learnt to accept this as their way of being concern (just that they donno how to say it) and ignore anything that I don't like to think.

I have said this before and will say to you again. I think it is best not go be too philosophical about the loss at times. It will be a memory between you and the baby and of course your husband... My due date would have been 20th of this month and for the last few weeks, I kept thinking on how I would face this day. I even thought of not going to my company's d and d, which is on that day. However, I find that it is no point in not attending the d and d.. I mean, I can't possibily sit around and mourn, right? I have 'spoken' to some other girls about miscarriages on other website. Many have told me that the anticipation of that due date is worse than the actual day itself and I tend to agree. I have decided that I will probably spend some quiet time with my hubby and then join the rest of my colleagues at nite for the d and d.

As for frens with babies born around the same time, I found it hard to talk to them about the babies as well. I am still trying to overcome this and I find that it helped me when I play with slightly older kids (like 1-2 year olds). I hope that I would soon be able to talk to these new parents and also be ready to TTC again!

A few of us here have gone on to conceive and have successful pregnancies again. So, why not come in here often, just to chat? I always feel better after chatting here!

folic