Support group - Miscarriages

hi bebechic...
did u undergo any stress or changes in the past one mth? it may hv triggered ur spotting.

but nevertheless... i pray dat u hv good news for us.
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slight spotting is not uncommon among pregnancies. jus dat if spotting occurs, MTB wld hv to take extra care of themselves...
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hi gals,
i always have stressful lifestyle..so i dun think its the any stress or changes that trigger the spotting leh...me now waiting for DYM to appear..this morning i check my pad..no spot.but anyway i very scared ...
 
Hi bebechic,

if you suspect that the spotting is not due to dym coming, why dont you test with HPT first? At least if it is due to pregnancy spotting, then the doc can help take care of it earlier.

Take care!

folic
 
bebechic,
i agree with Folic, test first so that if it's positive you can consult your gynae quick. spotting can be potentially dangerous (in pregnancy), altho like i said earlier it may also very well not be. so better play safe. Hope all goes well!
 
okie gals..
i think its DYM leh...now near noon...feeling got blood dripping already..hahah...ok ok...no suspense already...dun worry dun worry..not preg
 
Wow... Java, you sure make me wanna eat some fresh sashimi.
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Yum yum! I think Predictor is diff from Clear Blue. Predictor is white purple is colour right? Clear blue is white blue in colour; buy the twin pack, cheaper. When you gonna test again?

Hi bebechic,
Is it blood hor? Go toilet to check lah....
And too stress lifestyle not good leh... Can relax a bit?
 
java....
i love sushi!!
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esp salmon sashimi....

hehe... wan to eat better eat more now... if not when preggie will not be able to eat raw food liao... haha....
 
yup agree with tiny. waiting for more gd news fr this thread. jia you everyone!! i wld start my bb dancing next mth.
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i'm still abstaining fr coke although it's my favourite drink. i know caffine not gd for bb and i had a tough time controlling my urge then. so i thot i better not go back to drinking coke in case i have an even worse time trying to abstain next time!

oh just to share with u. i asked my doc abt the natural selection thingy abt m/c. why if early m/c is a form of natural selection, then there are still deformed/ unhealthy bb born. he can't really ans but he did say tt sometimes the 'bad' bb are not removed naturally fr the body. and he thinks tt it's worse having those babies. he view tt as tragedy but not m/c. he said m/c shows tt we are capable of conceiving and we can always try again.
 
Hi Millie,
That was also what my dad in law said. but i thought he was just trying to console me. haha. whatever it is, i think it's true and once we accepted the m/c as God's way (or some say nature's way) of quality control then there is hope...so let's look forward to brighter days ok? It does get easier as the days go by, as someone (forgot who) mentioned earlier in this thread.

I'm impatiently waiting for my AF to come (taking so long leh...stopped bleeding after d&c for about 3 weeks already, but still no sign...)

Now I'm in a dilemma as to whether to plan my year-end holiday. Supposed to go away in Dec, but wondering how if I get pregnant? Then again, shouldn't have such high hopes also, doesn't mean want then can have right? sigh...dunno how.
 
tiny,

same thoughts as u!!! we were planning for a trip to states late dec before i found out i was pregnant. cancel the plans after discovery. and now tt i'm not again, we started talking abt the trip again. but i m concern what if i get pregnant within the next 2 mths.

so it's a dilemma to me - to book or not to book. dun want everything settle liao then realise pregnant. of course, tt wld be very very very great news but all the planning wasted plus late cancellation will cost.

unless we only make our reservations in dec? tt wld be too late rt?

i m thinking positive tt i wld get pregnant again soon as many pple mention abt how easy it wld be to conceive after mc.

anyway, i had placed a booking with a travel agency for air tickets. but i know soon they will chase me for confirmation and payment. so fr now till then, i shall just relax and see how.

by the way, gals, do u know of anyone who travels in the 1st trimester? i read the pregnancy book and it says tt as long as there's no complication, pregnant women in 1st trimester can go travelling too. just dun get over tired and take extra care. but i feel tt even if my doc gives me the green light to travel, i won't travel in peace. esp on the plane!!! at least on land, i can go to hosp! what are your thoughts?
 
millie...
i think travelling is ok one la...anyway you go for how long??..if 2 weeks is still okie wat..even in s'pore you also visit gynae fortnightly one mah..

linda,
yah its my DYM la...ok nevermind me shall try either next month or december...haha..
 
Hi millie,
When I read your posting abt what your doctor told u abt m/c, I was very disturbed by what he told you. If 'bad' bb are a tragedy, then how abt those ppl who are handicapped, blind, deaf, meet with accident, etc. Then it will seem that the world has full of tragedies. I dun wan to sound too philosophical, but Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Something will not be tragic, if you view it negatively. That's why most old ppl will tell you to "kan kai yi dian", coz sufferings are tests to the human spirit. Do you agree that after a suffering, be it m/c, a love one dies, etc, your perpective changes? U tend to treasure more of something u previously took for granted.
I can go on and on, but I will then sound too philosophical again.

BTW I just bought ClearBlue, but only 1 test strip, I can't find the 2 test strip kind.
 
Hi Java,

so your DYM still didnt visit you huh? Hope you get a BFP when you test!
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For those planning on hols, I think you should just go ahead and not be affected by the wat-ifs.. :D

Cheers!

folic
 
java... dats the new clearblue... they even had an advert on it... it has oni one test strip now... it will show either plus or minus sign.
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hey is the new clearblue the one tt is so sensitive it can be tested abt 1 wk before our AF? saw the website the last time where a latest clearblue is sold in states and uk where we can test as early as 10 days after the date of concieve (ovualation).

java, dun noe if doc is trying to console or wat but i agree with u. i m more sensitive to what's happening ard me. it's like everything is so fragile and i treasure pple's care and concern more. update us after u tested yah. hope to hear gd news!!!
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this wk seems to pass by quickly for me. the wkend is here again. think hubby and i will go catch a movie and just enjoy 'er ren shi jie'.
 
java, if ur test still negative but ur AF still not here, think next wk can go gynae check liao rt? shld be ur wk 5?
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all the best!!!
 
Java, let us know the result! I feel so excited reading about it. Really need some good news to boost me up.

Folic/Millie, I know it's ok to travel as long as there are no complications, but I've got reservations cos of what i've been thru (spotting & all). At that point I was so closely monitored by my gynae - saw him every week! I definitely won't be enjoying my holiday if it happens...my mind will not be at ease. Besides, I'm supposed to go to Vietnam so I'm not too sure about the healthcare there.
 
hi folic, millie, tiny,
Thanks for all your support. I tested again, but still negative leh. I think I shall just patiently wait for my next due menses. If nothing again, then I will see a doctor loh. But indeed clearblue is more user friendly than BSure. My colleague told me that she uses free test strip, coz her sis-in-law works in a pediatrician office opp a women's clinic, so she always ask for sample test strip.

Today I'm on leave. Later going to Orchard for facial followed by shopping for clothes.

Hi Tiny,
why r u going to vietnam? for holis? Got any nice scenery there?

Hi Linda,
If I'm really pregnant, I will also go to a different gynae. Going back to the same gynae and seeing her same office will bring back sad memories.
 
Hello there Java,
Perhaps like what u said earlier it could be becos of your low Hcg levels...the last time they only detected the pregnancy quite late right? So not to worry. Just take one day at a time and u'll be fine, whatever the result. Just don't stress and take care!

Planning to go to Vietnam cos my hubby has to go there for work. So I may go around with my best friend first and then join him after he's done. Apparently there are some lovely cities like Hue ("Huay") and old ruins. Also nice scenery and beaches along the east coast of Vietnam. And the culture...love the culture. Simple and warm like the Thais.

Well, enjoy your day...facial and shopping sounds like the perfect combination!

Take care,
Tiny
 
Hi Java,

hope you enjoy your leave today. I love facial and massage :p That is my only weakness... I don;t really like shopping, so I spend most of my money on eating and facial/spa. I have been going to the same facial lady for 7 years.. She is now based in Shaw Center. Very nice!
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Yesterday, my boss brought his son to the office. He is only 18 months and so cute.. Out of so many people in the office, he only allow me to carry him
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I am surprised I feel ok playing with him etc
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Feel like giving myself a pat on my back!!

It's Friday and I am in a good mood. Hope everyone enjoy your weekend!

Cheers!

folic
 
Hi Java,
Although it would bring sad memories going back to the same gynae, I think it might be easier than having to explain to your nest gynae what happened previously. Your current gynae would also be more conscious abt your next pregnancy. Personal feeling.
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And as for your late menses, wait a while more and see how. Hope you had enjoyed your leave, shopping and facials sounds great!

Hi folic
Great! It is definately a sign that you are moving on. Each day will be better right?
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So glad for you.

Hi bebchic,
There is always next month. Dun stress yourself. Most things happened when we are more relax.

Hi Millie
Travelling shld be fine. My gynae says Go ahead! ahahahhaah....as long you are not bouncing around and jumping bungees then I think it shld be alright. It is also a good time to relax.
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Hi Tiny
Be patient lah... Some women I heard took abt 6 weeks (after their d&c bleeding) for their AF to arrive. Yours is 3 weeks... maybe 4th week will come?
 
Linda,
Correction...reported wrongly. It's been 4 weeks and 3 days after bleeding stopped...hopefully next 2 weeks lor! Anyway my cycle has always been super long so not surprising. I was just hoping that the m/c would regulate my menstrual cycle. I guess not!

Anyway, enjoy the weekend girls!

Tiny
 
Hi all,

I am really glad to have found this thread for support. I had to do a D/C on Friday coz at 7 weeks, embroyo did not develop, heart beat was slow and HCG was falling. It been emtionally very difficult for both of us and I feel like I am on an rollercoaster ride .....one minute up and the next down. My gynae said I could start trying anytime, no need to wait. However, I have read 2 cycles as the average waiting time. Anyone tried shortly after the D/C?

Also, i keep seeing AF ... what is AF? Finally, is it okay to start working out in the gym now? or how long should i wait?

Thank you all so much.
 
hi heather,

it's a painful process to have to go thru the m/c but be strong ok. i understand how u feel. give urself time to grieve yah. we will be here to give u support.

i didn't do d&c. so can't advice u on when to start trying again although most of the gals did mention 2 cycles. linda got pregnant after 1 cycle though and she and her baby are doing well.
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AF means aunt flo (ladies correct me if i am wrong). it means ur mthly menstration. as to exercising, i rested during the period when i was bleeding. better rest more after u do d&c. can go workout after everything is cleared.

take care!
 
hey gals,

do u know if it ok to use ky-gel as lubricant if i plan to try making baby? will the gel affect the sperms or affect the chance of conceiving?
 
Hello Heather,
Sorry to hear about your loss. You've come to the right place - this is also where I've found comfort in the last few weeks. I think if you have the time to read through all the previous entries, you'll get an idea of how people have gone through similar experiences, the emotions we faced and the struggles many of us still face till this day. "Rollercoaster ride" is exactly what all of us are slowly dealing with, you're not alone. However, there are also lots of encouraging success stories, so the important thing is that there is hope, and that is so important!

My gynae also said there are no medical reasons for waiting. The only reasons some gynaes give would then be emotional ones (eg, give urselves time to grief and deal with the emotions of the m/c first)...and for my gynae, he asked me to wait for one cycle first before trying, so that if I do get pregnant, he'd be able to place the pregnancy. I'm waiting for that to happen before we start trying again.

As for working out...I was asked to wait till my post d/c bleeding stopped before i engaged in such 'physical' activities (badminton for me). that was abt 10 days for me.

By the way, AF=menses...widely used in forum boards everywhere...altho i also wonder what it actually stands for. Anyone knows?

Do feel free to let your emotions out here cos u'll feel much better after that. And after clarifying any doubts/fears you may have, u'll feel more assured too.

Do take care.
 
hi millie
i think using a water based lubricant has no effect...thot i read it somewhere but can't recall where. oh yes...aunt flo...remember reading it somewhere too...thanks for jogging my memory! Getting old already
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oops sorry Millie, I meant using a water based lubricant WITH NO SPERMICIDES has no effect. I'm not sure abt ky jelly?
 
Hi everyone,

how's the weekend?I attended the wedding dinner that I dreaded but end up, I was laughing so badly that I almost cry!
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One of my aunt was the butt of the joke.. her dentures dropped during photo taking session. No one could stop laughing after that!!
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I must also give credit to my relatives. They are more supportive that I thought they would be. And I think my technique of greetinge everyone with a big smile also helped.. at least for those at a loss of words, they will know that I have survived the ordeal enough and to get on with life.

Java, how's the facial? enjoyed? did anymore test?

Heather, sorry to hear about your loss. Given that you are still so fresh from your loss, it is not surprising that you will overwhelmed by a whole lot of emotions. I lost my baby two months ago at 23 weeks. I did not think I would ever be happy again, but time has shown otherwise. Take your time to grief and get in touch with your emotions. As I always said, it gets easier each day!

folic
 
hi everyone....
a good week for all...
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folic...
cant help laughing at ur post.... must hv been hilarious... but imagine ur aunt... was she totally embarassed? hehe...

hi heather...
dun be sad... look forward.... dun look back. there will be much better things in store for u and ur hubby....
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hmm.... update on myself... feeling moody already, and been getting eating pangs... and swollen feeling of breasts... but all can be AF symptoms... so i'm keeping my fingers crossed!
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Heather,
Sorry to hear abt your loss. But it is good to come to this forum for sharing of emotions and feelings.

Best to rest well after d&c. Leave physical exertions till at least after 1 week.

I conceived after one cycle. Meaning I had d&c, bleed for 1 week, okay for 3 weeks then menses came again. After that last menses, I got pregnant. I dared not say everything will be fine but till date, both of us are doing well.

Emotionally, it was quite nerve wrecking to be pregnant again so soon after a loss. I cried when I knew I was preggie, I cried BIG time when I couldn't see the gestational sac on my first appt. I spent the first 3 mths in a state of self denial in the sense that I didn't really think I was pregnant. Recently I had a huge scare too when I discovered stains. Mentally have 2 be very prepared....Then again, all of us will have to be so.

Hi folic,
Glad you enjoyed yourself at the dinner. With a big smile on your face, I guess life will present to you more laughters.

Hi Millie,
I think KY somehow will affect the sperm. Maybe shld check with gynae?

Hi Java
How's the weekend for you? Have you decide to test again?
 
Hi heather,
Like what the other girls have said, we are here to support you. Let us know if you have any other queries.

hi millie,
Actually try not to use lubricant unless you really feel very dry. Just use abit. The lubricant might affect the sperm flow.

Hi folic, linda,
Yah last Friday was fun, eat Jap food, spend > $200 on clothes, etc. No decided not to test liao, just wait for next AF.

actually quite sad/happy in the morning, coz my dept administrator announced that my colleague gave birth liao. My fren said maybe we visit her 2 weeks later, me thinking of telling them that I won't be going. I not trying to be mean or anything, but sometimes I feel that although my colleague and I sat just a few places away from each other, but our fates are so different.
Me looking at watch now, 1 hr 15 min more to leave office....
 
Hi Java,

you watching the clock too?
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Wah, you ate Jap food again! Like me, I also like Jap food a lot. But on Friday, cos keep reading about ma la hot pot on this forum, decided to go and eat at TingYuan on Liang Seah St. Yummy!!

I also sepnt about $150 on clothes to wear to the wedding. I have very few 'attend wedding' clothes and my relatives have seen me in most of them at least once already!

As for your colleague, if you really don feel comfortable going, then send a card to wish her all the best. I think there is no need to explain why you not there. I think she will understand and will not probe as to why you are not there! One of my colleagues just came from maternity leave two weeks ago. I just say hi to her on her first day back and she just ask "how are you?" that's it... I still can't bring myself to see her baby photos but my hubby did... (we work in the same company) I have another colleague who is due some time close to my due date (she has twins through IVF) and I will think about how I will look like now if I am still preg.. but I just let the thought pass and wish her the best...(she had a miscarriage earlier on as well).

ok, exactly 1 hour to knock off time for me!

folic
 
hi everyone,

monday blues for me....went with my mum to visit a cousin who has just given birth to a baby daughter. i was rather surprised that i was calm esp when my cousin asked me when is my turn. she didnt know abt my miscarriage. just told her let nature takes it course. like u folic, i wld still think of my 'baby'. 'i am into my 9 wks now' but i just brush the thoughts away with positive thoughts.

went to watch identity over the wkend. not bad. the twist is unexpected.

java, think ur colleagues will understand if u tell them u don't want to go. dun think they will ask for a reason.

tiny, u going to vietnam after all? who knows, u might have a 'made in vietnam' baby!
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thks for the info on KY Jelly. wld not be using it for baby making lah. another question though...saliva shld be okie rt? paiseh...
 
hi linda, can i chk wif u if you will have discharge like EWCM after you 're preggie?
btw, this is mae, if u can stil rmber.
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Millie,
did a search and found some info for u. check out

http://www.babycenter.com/expert/preconception/gettingpregnant/7098.html

http://www.canadianparents.com/articles/feature68f.htm

so apparently saliva and lubricants do affect conception. (ie lessen the chance)

yeah, my hubby and i were joking about a Made in Vietnam baby, and saying we'd then have to call it "Thung Duc" or something!!
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Java, i'm sure your colleagues won't hold it against u (or feel u are being mean) if u don't go to visit the new baby. If you do decide to go however, I think u might be surprised that you'll be able to take it quite well. Even though i always think i won't be able to cope when people ask "when's your turn", or talk abt their pregnancy, i always seem quite calm and controlled when it does happen. Think many times we are much stronger than we expect to be! You'd be surprised, people are actually quite resilient creatures after all!

By the way, what's EWCM?
 
Hi Mae/ Lite Breeze
I do. I hope you are fine. Hmm... Not that I remember... I dun even have the dinstinct creamy tan coloured discharge.

Hi Tiny,
EWCM is Egg White Cevical Discharge. Mainly found during ovulation.
 
hi tiny,

thks for ur info! i was reading thru them and one site even mention vegetable oil...i wonder, does anyone use vegetable oil? ha...

mae alias lite breeze, r u pregnant? pls share with us ok.
 
I was just thinking if after second pregnancy, will I still be suffering from painful breast engorgement?

coz my colleague call me and ask me ways to relieve engorgement, coz bb kept crying last nite and her breast no milk though engorge.
 
Hi Java,

I read that if you put cold cabbage leave on the engorged breast, it will help to reduce the pain.
Just tear out the cabbage leave, put in fridge till it is cold and then cover on breast when needed.

I don't think engorgement goes away in subsequent pregnancies.

folic
 
hi mille, no, i m not preggie. even though my AF is late, my temp has not yet risen so I dun tink I'm preggie. today is my CD 43. my normal cycle is 39.

hi linda, tks for ur reply. how old is ur bb now?
I m goin away for a holiday soon just to take a break, hopefully, can succeed there, then it can be a "Made in Japan" bb, heheh
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harlow all...
my AF due in a few days time... i itchy hand went to buy a test kit last nite and tested this am but turned out negative.

hope its buay zhun lah...

but nevertheless, will keep trying... hehe...
 
Hi Lite Breeze
She is 5.5 mths inside my tummy now. Hopefully I will hear good news from you regarding the "made in japan" babe.
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Hi tintin_again
Keep up the spirit! And have fun trying!!! *_^
 


hi folic

i thought people say that cabbage will stop the production of milk completely, so those who want to stop breastfeeding can try this method. must check carefully before trying, okay?
 
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