Support group - Miscarriages

[java]

hi sneaky,
No cabbage will not stop the milk completely, it merely eases the engorgement. The only way to stop breast milk is to eat the pill prescribe by doctors.

Today, I had a bad day at work, boss constantly hounding me for deadline, thinking of switching job, but now waiting for AWS first.
Today I also saw abit of blood in my discharge, maybe my AF coming liao.

 

[ryan2]

Hi all,

Ryan here, remember? A colleague who miscarried twice but has just given birth talked to me today. She gave me the following advice:
1) take bai feng wang cooked with chicken to warm the womb (after AF)
2) if pregnant again, take leave to rest for the first trimester
3)change gynae.
4) Don't read too much books or listen to fren's bad experiences. Could instil fear and affect the bb
5) don't give up cos' doctor actually declared that she could not get pregnant after her 2nd miscarriage


Glad to hear that most of you are recovering emotionally. I'm getting on fine too. Will also take a holiday to make bb overseas.

Ryan

 

[tiny]

Hello Ryan and everyone,
I've heard many advising to change gynae. However, I'm wondering why. I understand that going back to the same place can bring back sad memories, but I was wondering wouldn't it be easier cos he/she already has your records and will be familiar with your case? Is there any other reason why a change would be beneficial if u are already comfortable with your present gynae? Anyone has any experience to share?
Thx.

 

[folic]

Hi Ryan,

how are you? Have not 'heard' from you for a while. I am still debating whether to change gynae in the event when I get preg again. I might stay with my gynae cos I think she is a very experienced gynae and had been most helpful and understanding throughout the pregnancy. Plus, she has most of my medical records, so it would be better for me as well. The only reason why I would not go back to her would be due to emotional reasons but I have been going back for follow up checks and I don't find myself too affected... so most probably, I will stick with her.

folic

 

[sneaky]

hi folic,

thanks for the clarification. will take note of that in future when i get pregnant

 

[folic]

Hi sneaky,

Java was the one who gave the clarification

Hi Java, hope your work day is better today. I had a bad day yesterday too. Met up with this guy in my sales office who was such an idiot that I can feel my temperature rising! Luckily, I was not the main person he was discussing with, or I would really throw my temper.

Also after the meeting, another guy saw me and said hi. Then he asked " when is your baby due?" I just replied calmly that I have lost my baby. The guy was a bit embarassed so I just left him at that.. He just heard from ppl that I am preg.. just didnt know how advanced I was cos I have not met him for long time. Sigh... though it provoked some sad thoughts, what is more worrying is... am I so fat that I still look preg?!

folic

 

[millie]

ryan,

thks for your advices. i am also curious on why we shld change gynae. i am comfortable with mine and i felt alright going back to him after my m/c.

folic and java, hope that today is a gd day for you. well, wkend coming....

and java, is it AF or preggie?

 

[gladdy]

Hi ladies

Would like to know which gynae you went is good & caring one?
I am thinking of changing my gynae if I got pregnant again.

Thank you

 

[millie]

hi gladdy,

my gynae is dr chan kong hon at glenagles hosp. #03-15. 64743228. very gentle and patient guy. actually i didn't intend to see him. i was still sourcing for a gynae when i started to bleed. saw his name mentioned several times in another thread and so saw him immediately.

of course, there are many experienced and gd gyanes but i only know him and i wld strongly recommend him. even the nurses there are quite friendly.

if you dun mind me asking (as i have asked earlier), why do you want to change gynae? isn't it better to go back to your previous gynae as he wld have your records?

 

[gladdy]

Hi millie
thks for the intro
but does yr gynae charges high & how about the waiting time, is it long?

I find my previous gynae didn't bother abt me much after my mc previously, & i can still recall the stress I had everytime I see him previously.

He doesn't have much record.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Gladdy
I switch gynae cos my mum and bro were nagging me to death... and also cos the previous gynae was a bit far away and not too accessible.

I am seeing Dr Kowa Nam Sing at Mt E. His delivery package normal birth w/o epidural is $1300. $900 to be paid at your 5th mth-meaning start of package where I dun have to pay for ultrasounds and consultations. Prior to that, I pay an average of $100 per visit including medication.
Waiting time is fine cos I always go in the early weekday mornings. But good gynaes almost always long wait one. Esp when he goes for delivery. But an advantage of him is that he ONLY delivers in Mt E. So whether you are the one giving birth or the one waiting to see him at his clinic, you can be assured that he is always there. He delivered my newphew together with 2 other babies...imagine if he allows his patients to be at diff hospitals!!!

 

[millie]

hi gladdy,

as for waiting time, dpds on the crowd. usually abt 3-4 pple waiting ahead of me (even if i am on time). but overall, it's ok. not too long waiting time to me. i go on wkday afternoons.

as for charges, the cheapest is at $140 - consultation and scan. highest is abt $280+ which included some testings. so, is it ex?

linda, does ur $100 include scan? and how do you find dr kowa? i heard of him fr a fren recently.

 

[tiny]

Hello girls,
I'm so excited! I think my AF is FINALLY here. Saw a wee bit of stain. I hope it's really here, it's been almost 8 wks after my D&C and I was getting worried. Imagine, my last AF was in July. It's weird cos that time so worried whenever i go to the toilet & see stains, and now all I want to see is stains. Sigh..life is full of ironies, isn't it?

Linda, why were your mum & bro nagging u about your gynae?

 

[folic]

Hi Tiny,

Good! The first AF is an important milestone...

Isn't it strange how we sort of really look forward to that?

Hi Linda, I am surprised that Dr Kowa charges are not as high as I thought. Looks like I had one of the most expensive gynae! But then again, I really felt comfortable with her...

Hope all of you had a great weekend!

folic

 

[tiny]

Wow, not only is it here, it's back with a vengeance this time!

But what can I say, I'm more relieved than anything. Finally, can move on.

"EWCM is Egg White Cevical Discharge. Mainly found during ovulation."

Thanks, Linda for that. I had it about 2 weeks ago, and now my AF is here. So these things are really so accurate! I never believed in checking & charting my ovulation cos I thought it wouldn't be 'zun' for me as my cycles are long and irregular. Maybe now I should start, esp if I do intend to start trying again. Never knew exactly how they work though, even though I've read them so often on websites. Do all of you really calculate?

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Millie,
$100 average is inclusive of scan. Normally if no medication, just scan is $45 and consultation is $35. Then you add 4% GST lor.

I find him friendly and funny. Very assuring cos like some big friendly teddy bear uncle lor. But what's most assuring is the fact of his "track records" from my SIL and her sisters, and the stories I heard from his clinic. A lady brought her fren's daughter to see him and was telling her (the daughter) that she saw him for 17 years for child birth and female problems.... and she is full of praises for him....

Hi Tiny!
Finally! After such a long wait!

Can "start" planning liao.

I dun really chart last time, more or less, I know roughly when is my fertile period, so I just make sure I baby dance more often then....

My bro and mum wanted me to see Dr Kowa in my first pregnancy and was so aghast when I decided it was too ex (also cos hospital is ONLY Mt E which is ex also) and saw another lower priced one which gives me the option to stay in Mt Alvernia also.... Then my m/c happened...although they didn't mentioned it but I felt they sort of felt that the m/c wouldn't have happened IF i had seen dr kowa in the first place.... So I thought with this pregnancy, I better kwai kwai go see Dr kowa lor....

Hi Folic,
As long as you are comfortable with your gynae lah....Like my mum says, in our lifetime, prob only give birth 3 times... so ex also never mind lah...

 

[gladdy]

Hi Linda & Millie

Thks for yr recommendations, but my hubby says pte doc very expensive not sure if he will let me go pte or not
but i will only go if I got pregnant again

 

[folic]

Hi Linda,

actually, I have a feeling that my mum also think the same way as your mum.. Somehow, she just feels that the gynae is 'no good'. Sigh.. I might have to change gynae because of that!

 

[millie]

hi linda,

wow, didn't realise that my gynae charges so ex! wow a diffference of $40 each time is a lot! maybe i can go see dr kowa next time. how old is he? is he gentle?

hi folic, may i know who's ur gyane?

as for the change of gyane, even with my expensive gynae, my mum still blames the doc! think it's the same for any gyane i went to. she thought that the gynae was mean by not even trying to give me injection. she even said maybe it's the gynae's unltrasound machine that is infected and thus, cause me to m/c!!!!

guess our mums just wanna find a reason for the m/c. dun think she understood when i kept telling her that my baby was not even developed!!

 

[folic]

Hi Millie,

My gynae is Dr Tanny Chan at Gleneagles.

Quite sian huh? still must convince mum that gynae not at fault? guess it is their way of coming to terms with losing the baby...

folic

 

[tiny]

Hello all,
A silly little question to ask, but any idea what will happen to dogs if they eat folic acid? My dog just grabbed some of my folic acid, and by the time i got it back, she'd eaten one of them...

 

[tiny]

My sis in law also had Tanny Chan. Heard her waiting time is super long cos she's so popular.

Somehow people will find all sorts of excuses when it comes to m/c...so many of my friends asked me if I did this or that during my pregnancy. So hard to explain that it prob has nothing to do with all that...sigh!

 

[orchid]

i had a miscarriage 1.5 mths ago. i haven't had my menses since then - alreadh 2 wks late and i'm not pregnant (just checked tdy). used to be very regular before i got pregnant. is this normal? anyone has this experience too?

 

[folic]

Hi Tiny,

I not sure what will happen to your dog.. probably nothing... since it is actually vit B. Is your dog male or female?

Hi Orchid,

sorry to hear about your loss. Your first menses should come 6-8 weeks after you stopped bleeding. It should not come at the same time when you expect your old cycle. You probably need to wait 1-2 weeks more.

folic

 

[millie]

tiny, ur dog shld be fine.

orchid, sorry abt ur loss. u take care yah. i m also waiting for my AF.

hey ladies, may i ask if it is possible to be preggie eventhough breasts not sore and sensitive? just wondering as a fren just shared with me her discovery of preggie. and while discussing symptons, she mentioned that her breasts still soft. thought it's quite funny. guess diff women diff symptons.

 

[tintin_again]

hi all...

me tested yest nite again and tis time it shows up positive...

not intending to see a gynae so soon... maybe in a couple of weeks' time... meantime, continue to take folic acid which was left over from my prev m/c.

now going to be reali careful... will try not to walk too much, climb stairs etc.

 

[folic]

Congrats Tintin! Do take care!!

folic

 

[modi]

Hi Tintin,

Congrats and take care

 

[gladdy]

Hi Tintin
congrats & the rest of the gals WISH YOU GOOD LUCK too

Hi Ladies

I did not take any vitamins after my mc should I take any?

 

[folic]

Today very restless at work.. so keep coming back to the forum !

Java, where are you? Got good news?

My second AF came today. Looks like my cycle is not shorter after miscarriage. But at least I think I am ovulating. Cos I have lots of EWCM two weeks ago and today, 15 days after EWCM, I get my AF.

Hi Gladdy, it would be good if you continue with 1 folic acid a day. I am taking iron pills and vit C as well,cos I became anaemic during pregnancy. So gynae told me to finish the pills which she presceribed.. which is about 2 months worth. I almost finishing liao. Also after reading so much about Bai Feng Wan, I decided to take it afer I finish my menses this cycle.

folic

 

[linda_thea]

HOORAY!!! Tintin_again!!!!

So glad for you!!!! Spread your baby dust around won't you??? Be really careful and just to share my thots with you, be positive, be cheerful and be relax. I know it is hard but TRY!

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Orchid,
Different women take different period for their next menses to come. So not to worry on that. In the meanwhile, take care of your body.

Hi Gladdy
It is good to take some tonics as it helps to build health of the womb as well as general health. I had tang gui chicken several times, a bai feng yuan a day (after my d&c menses cleared) and a bottle of chicken essence a day.
And not all pte docs are ex, the one I saw last time was reasonable I thot.... Actually govt docs in KKH also charge quite high.... so no diff in the end... unless you have subsidy.

Hi millie Hi Folic,
Mine was worst cos my bro and mum had wanted me to see Dr Kowa during my first pregnancy... Somehow, maybe they thot that the baby could have been saved IF i had listen to them instead

Of course no one dared to say it out loud.... My bro even told my mum that he will pay for me should I refused to go to Dr Kowa for this pregnancy....

That bad.... Sigh... Like what you all say, which gynae hadn't seen anyone with a m/c before? Sure Dr Kowa saw several too...just that our elders think otherwise....

Millie, i am never good with age guessing...but I would put him at 40+ I guess. Gentle, I guess so...very assuring looking face and funny

I quite like him. Hubby also.

 

[tintin_again]

thanks gals....
for all your well-wishes...

i'll spread the bb-dust ard....

jus wanna say dun give up.... nothing is impossible...

and i m reali cautious abt myself tis time...

 

[bebechic]

tintin!!!! congrats!!!!!!!!only logged in this late to see the good news!!! waa...so happy for you..please take care yah..dun think too much okie...

 

[soft]

Hi Tintin

Congrats to you! How many weeks are you now?

Hi everyone

Not sure everyone here knows me. I had a d&c a few months back. Last sat, I found out I am pregnant (shld be 4 weeks), however, on last thurs, sat and sun, I have a bit of spotting. Now no more leow. I am a bit scared and these few days my left side of my tummy cramp on and off. What should I do now? Should I go and see a gynae? I am afraid that since its so early, I am not able to see anything and hence a wasted trip. However, I am afraid of something bad. I know I should not have this kind of negative thinking but couldn't help. What should I do now?

 

[tiny]

Hi Soft,
Of course you should see your gynae. I don't think any trip would be a "wasted trip" esp since you're spotting. He/she would be the best person to advise you, esp since he'd know your case and how to follow up now. It would also put your mind at ease. Don't think the worst yet, cos u never know. Not easy I'm sure, but no point worrying at this moment. So see a gynae, for me when I spotted I went to see my GP who said I should have just gone straight to my gynae asap cos he couldn't do anything much for me. Take care and hope to hear good news!

Tintin,
Congrats!!! Update us after your visit, won't you?

Gladdy, you should continue with folic acid. It's essential if you plan to try again anyway, and Vitamin B is water soluble anyway (like Vitamin C) so u can be sure there'll be no toxic build up in any way. I've started on multivitamin/mineral supplements, on the advice of my gynae cos i'm underweight.

 

[modi]

Hi Soft,

Congrats to you. I think you should visit gynae too. Though it maybe early for gynae to perform a scan, but it's good that you pay him/her a visit since you've spotting. It maybe implantation spotting or spotting due to pregnancy. Give the gynae a visit, he/she will give you better advises.

 

[tintin_again]

hi soft,
congrats...

if u hv spotting, u shld see ur gynae asap.

as for me, i hv oni missed my AF for abt a few days, so i think its abt 4 to 5 weeks for me. intending to see my gynae on the 7th or 8th week.

i dun know abt u guys but i'm reali freaked out by the vagina ultrasound scan. for my prev pregnancy, as still cldnt see from the tummy scan, the gynae did the vagina scan. after the checkup and going back to office, i had some spotting.

gladdy,
yes... u shld continue to take the FC. i hv been taking it b4 i conceived. if u do not wan to take it, then u hv to mk sure u eat enuf food wif FC in them.

hi bebechic...
thanks!

hope to hear good news from u soon!

 

[tiny]

Good morning all,
I'm getting excited with all the good news floating around.

Tintin, I'm so happy for you!!! Soft too. Praying that all is fine with u. I think it's cos hearing such news gives the rest of us hope and keeps us going. Like u said, "dun give up.... nothing is impossible"!

I was supposed to see my gynae tomorrow but have called to postpone my appt. My gynae always uses the internal scan, so too pai say to go in when I'm having my AF cos it's so messy. Think he might have wanted to check my ovaries to see if i was producing eggs..something like that. Tintin, the internal scan is ok as long as you relax. If u tense up it will be painful. He put lots of KY jelly so it was ok.

Well, have a good day girls!

 

[millie]

wow so may gd news ard!! congrats to u tintin_again and soft!!!!!!!!!!!

how exciting!

soft, no harm seeing gynae earlier. but the cramp u mention sounds like the uterus is stretching. remember reading somewhere that if it's rt side or left side cramps, it's ok. but see a gynae to be safe.

and gals, dun mind me airing my frustrations here. just tt cant tahan my mum nowadays. she meant well but sometimes whatever she's saying seems to imply that i played a part in the m/c. said that cos i go out so often, etc. can't convince her and so, just listen and ignore.

quite sad lah...to think that it's my mum and not my mil who's doing all these talkings. she's nice and concern and kept making tonics for me. but on the other hand, she keeps on nagging. e.g. went for mid-nite show last wkend. she commented that we like to stay up so late and so maybe our eggs cum sperms become weak....blah blah...thus, the ovluated egg can't develop. *sigh* at least, my hubby understands.

we go for movies often but we dun smoke or drink or go partying. and we got lives rt? must go out with frens, shopping, etc.

just told her we are going bangkok this wkend. guess wat's her reaction? 'up to u lah...if this is the liefstyle u want to lead!' erh? huh? i feel quite sad hearing this. does that mean if i dun work and go out and just lie in bed for 9 mths when pregnant, it can guarantee me that i will have a healthy baby?

 

[millie]

regarding the scan, mine is also vaginal scan. it's ok lah. at first, i was so scare but with the thick lubricant, no problem. tintin_again, did u ask ur gynae on ur next appt regarding the spotting?

 

[folic]

HI Millie,

Sorry to hear that you have been stressed out by your mum. Sometimes, old folks nag as their way of showing concerns. My mum did the same to me during my confinement, wanting me to stay IN BED all the time, eat all the tonics etc. Then also dish out advice like next time preg, don swim, don this, don that etc.. sort of implying that what I did during the preg caused me to lose my baby. I just shut both ears and just went on to do what I think is best for me.

So, nett of it is, we are constantly in some emotional fight and no matter what other people say, we will find it hurting one way or another.People around us are also trying to cope with interacting with us and they do it in a way which they think is most suitable. Just look at it from another angle. For eg, you had a cold. and your mum will say things like don go out so late lah, don eat this food lah etc. We find that irritating too right? But the hurt is not there cos there is a live involved in a miscarriage so our reactions tend to be bigger. But to them, it is their way of telling you how to recuperate.

Not sure if I am making sense...

just hope you don't get too worked up. ok?

folic

 

[tintin_again]

hi millie...
i didnt get the chance to ak my gynae... cos in less than 2 weeks after that appt, i started bleeding already and then had my m/c.

i think the thing y said abt the uterus expanding is true... i do get a tinge or two of slight cramps now. not often though.

i dun take it too hard... i imagine dat the bb is growing. hehe...

as for ur mum, i think it is natural for her to nag... jus give her sometime to get over it.... and hey, once u conceive again, she will be excited and happy again.

as for me, we hvnt told our parents yet. dunno how my mum will take it, cos she's been telling me to wait till next yr to conceive so dat my womb wld be stronger then...

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Soft
Congrats!!!

And dun wait to see a doc!! You can tell him abt the spotting. And although a vaginal scan might seem scary, it is sometimes essential to ensure all goes well!

 

[soft]

Hi to all the ladies here

Thank you so much for the wishes and concern. I will see a gynae this Saturday, praying hard all will be well. For those who are trying and will be trying soon, Good Luck! and soon we will have good news to cheer on.

 

[millie]

thks gals, for ur encouragement. i just let my mum do her nagging.....ha....think i am having pms. very moody recently. but gd lah...AF come quick!

tintin_again, think ur mum will be thrilled if u get preggie again. but if u concern, u might want to tell her after u go see gynae? think it's the const conflict thing...mum nags but no matter what, she means well and will be there when u need her.

soft, gd luck!!!!!

will wait for ur gd news!!!

 

[millie]

wow, why this thread so quiet? how's everyone? me just came back fr bangkok trip. gd for re-charging battery. shop eat and of course massage.

soft, how is ur checkup?

i have been having cramps on and off since last wk. u know, like menstration cramps. thot my AF due but till today nothing. apart fr the cramps, no pms symptons except moody moods last wk. gals, do u experience this? may i ask how long to expect AF if i didn't do d&c? will my AF come at 4-6 wks later or longer too?

 

[gladdy]

Hi millie
Glad you had an relaxing trip in BKK, me also like BKK v much.

I missed my period for almost 10 days this month, I didn't want to check & menses came on the 10th day.

Maybe you monitor yours a few more days & buy a test kit & test if you want to be very sure
In the meantime take care and eat well

 

[tintin_again]

hi...
this thread sort of went missing yest... cldnt find it..

millie...
tink ur af shld be cmg soon... since slight symptoms have been detected.

i heard fr a fren dat after each pregnancy (whether carried to full term or not), symptoms for AF will be different.

as for myself, i had spotting yest... i panicked and was in emotional turmoil i tell u... i cldnt help thinking wat i went thru in my last m/c... was in a total wreck yest, cldnt concentrate on work.

in the end, my hubby drove me to kk 24 hr clinic last nite. was told dat there's bleeding... and was given hormone pills and vitamins.

am resting at home today.

 

[millie]

gladdy,

thks for replying. dun think i am pregnant. if i am, it is a miracle and i will be very thankful!

just this irritating feeling. wld rather my AF come rather than having the cramp like feelings for 1 wk liao. hope tt it is AF and it comes soon!!