Support group - Miscarriages

[melon]

hi tintin & linda

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Trying to remain optimistic is difficult as I don't want to give myself so much hope and only to fall harder if it happens again. Each time I see the spotting and feel the cramps, my heart just sinks and hope that it will just go away.

To live in the shadow of a past m/c is horrible, I just hope my hubby and I'll be able to pull through.

 

[tintin_again]

hi melon,
dun wori so much... i'm sure u will be alrite. well... i'm still spotting on and off at the moment, i dun wori too much abt it. i jus hv to make sure dat i get enuf rest.

 

[tiny]

Hello girls,

Haven't had much time to visit this thread recently. Busy trying to clear my work before leaving for Vietnam this Thurs.
Melon, although I'm not pregnant I can imagine that if and when I am, I'll also be feeling lousy if I start spotting again. It will just bring back too many bad memories. Like u said, living in the shadow of a past m/c is horrible...even though I think I'm actually coping rather well, on occasions when I am reminded (e.g., a friend tells me she's pregnant, or even when another tells me she's just gone through a m/c) the feelings all come flooding back. But I like what Folic says, don't be too philosophical cos the more u dwell on the "why me" and "if onlys" u become depressed...and what's the use of that? No point looking back, just have to move on. Time will heal itself, just like any other setback in life. Cookie, that's the best way to move on. And of course, pen your feelings down! We're here to support each other (thanks to Linda again!)

The great thing is that when we do have good news to share again (like some of us here), we know that the fear and anxiety is normal cos by sharing, we don't go thorugh it alone.

Tintin, melon, soft, misspiggy...be strong! We're rooting for u!

 

[cookies]

hi ladies..
thanks. your messages r encourging. I agree it takes time. I'm working on it though it has been a few months. Memories return time to time especially when you are reminded of it. In fact, I think I'm taking it easier these days, but the recent birth of my colleague's baby make me upset again cos she's about 3 weeks earlier than me.
Well, I'll be strong jus like u gals.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Melon,
Thinking positively is impt. I was pregnant 2 mths after my m/c. It didn't help when it was also a faint positive on the HPT. I just take it as a bad news.... Then slowly, I changed my attitute....From pretending I am not pregnant to thinking it won't last, to being hopeful and thankful and to now....in between, I did get some scares along the way....but we survived...and I am sure you will too!

 

[folic]

Hi Linda,

glad to hear that you are doing well! How many weeks are you at now?

Hi Melon,

as Linda says, it is important to have positive thots! I am sure you will pull through alrighT!!

Hi cookie,
do come by chat more often. It is common to have all these roller coaster emotional rides!

btw, do you mind me asking wat caused your miscarriage? It seems like you had your miscarriage quite late(just like me) cos you mentioned that you lost your baby in Jul but due date is soon.. My baby would have been due in 3 weeks time.

folic

 

[melon]

Hi ladies

Really appreciate all your encouraging words and all of you have shown me that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.

 

[cookies]

hi folic

my happened at 17 wks. i only knew it when e doc scan n realise no heartbeat. i guess u went thru e process 2 deliver yr baby too? tt was e most painful experience of all. i saw my baby n saw e nose n mouth r not growing normally, kind of like disfigure, toes are not even too, doc said tt usually such cases cant survive. that's y he terminate his life in my body, with no sign at all. my 1 regret is not asking to carry my baby.
well, its all over and i do hope that the next 1 will be a sucess.

 

[folic]

Hi cookies,

so I was right about you having a second trimester loss... I did not deliver my baby.. although I had contractions for almost 2 days lying in the hospital. The doctor think that I am too distressed to deliver the baby and in case I cannot deliver the placenta, I would have to go through a d&c. So in the end, she just did a d&c for me. For me, my waterbag broke. So, my baby is normal. They could not find the reason for why my waterbag broke.

My regret is not having the courage to see the baby. I just thought it would be too sad to just see him for only one time. My hubby did see the baby though and he said he is one handsome baby!
I named my baby Jie (as in outstanding/excellent).

I am sorry to hear about your loss but also happy to find someone who went through a similar experience. Suddenly, as I am typing this message, I feel an overwhelming urge to cry... you can read more about my experience from the earlier posts (from Aug 20+ onwards).

I guess you would be trying again soon? I am still not so sure myself but I think I will eventually want another baby. I only hope I can build up enough courage before I turn too old! (I am 33 this year)

folic

 

[cookies]

hi folic,
jus read the previous msgs n saw yours. feel alot and able to empathize with yr situation. glad tt u've been so positive. for me, e 1st 2 mths r great struggle but things get better each day though. my frens n colleagues nvr mentioned it again after i met them fr my 1 mth break, they r probbaly worried they may hurt. a similar thing, i went to japan too, during the end of my 3rd wk break, getting away is indeed a good medication.
i will like to try again soon but do hv this problem of irregular menses, so just try my luck. btw, my gynea said its ok to start trying anytime now. i hope u'll too, things will be different this time round, accident dun happen twice. best of luck trying.

 

[folic]

Hi cookies,

Yah, each day is definitely getting better. Yesterday, I met an old fren who just came back from Australia after spending 2 years there. I told her about my loss through email. She told me she was crying so hard then that her mother in law was shocked. As she was telling me, her eyes started getting red. I have to comfort her in the end!

You went to Japan too? Where did you go? I enjoyed myself so much over there! I have been to Japan 3 times in the last two years for holidays and a couple more times for business trip.

I also had irregular menses but it seems more regular now after the pregnancy. For me, it is about 35 days and now, I noticed that I have Egg white cervical mucus very consistently every month. Are you taking folic acid now?

Good luck trying! Hope you get success soon!

folic

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Folic
I am into my 27 weeks now.
It seems that your menses are regulating itself. Good sign to have EWCM consistently so that you can plan for your next. Are you actively trying?

Hi Cookies,
You can be sure there will be a lot of prayers going around for you when you get pregnant next. I for one will do so.

I am quite sure the next will be a smooth one.

 

[tiny]

Dear all,
I just came in to say 'bye' for a while. Am leaving this afternoon and will be back in 2 wks. Hopefully, when I come back there will be more good news from all of you! And hopefully, me too...altho i think this mth very slim chance cos i was so confused...(read on)

Before I leave tho, need to ask u something. Can you ovulate twice in a month? I went for my gynae check up about 2 wks ago cos he wanted to check if I ovulate normally, if not he'll put me on some treatment. That was on CD17. He did an vaginal scan to check my follicles and said that indeed I had just ovulated (cos on CD 14 he checked me and there was an egg but not released yet). My temp did rise on that day. But after 2 days, it dipped again. And on that day I didn't seem to have any EWCM and it only became apparent on CD 24 & 25 which was just a few days ago! And my temperature only rose again on CD23! (err...very confusing, sorry). So I'm really confused. I decided to start charting my temp this month faithfully, but everything seems haywire and it's making me more confused than ever.

Anyway, I also wanted to say that Cookies and Folic, I think u are really brave after reading your posts. I hope you will continue to be strong and that the next one will be all you have ever prayed for. My thoughts are with u. Take care!

Tiny

 

[folic]

Hi Linda,

Good to hear that you are now 27 weeks!

so fast!! I am not trying actively yet but not taking precautions.

Hi Tiny,

you are going to Viet for holiday? Enjoy!
I think it is possible to ovulate twice (that is how some people get fraternal twins). However, there is usually a slight dip in temperature during ovulation and will only increase after ovulation. This might be the pattern which you are seeing. If you are confused, you can check with your doc again.
Take care!

folic

 

[millie]

hi all, have been busy lately. finally got chance to come in. been reading the recent postings.

cookies and folic, ur postings touched me. stay positive and hope to hear gd news fr u soon!

soft, tintin, misspiggy and melon, how r u? stay positive yah!

tiny, enjoy ur trip. think tt it's possible to ovulate twice in a mth. hope tt u hv gd news to share when u r bk!

may all of us be strong and happy! and enjoy the baby making sessions yah...hee...

 

[cookies]

hi linda, tiny, millie n folic
thank for the encouragement. it feels good to read them.

hi folic,
i went to central japan (tokyo, kyoto, etc), cant really remember as japan is not my favourite country to travel, but my husband enjoyed himself alot.
yap, me jus started on my folic acid.
wish u success too. take care.

cookies

 

[misspiggy]

hi millie, bebechic, tintin, soft, melon

Some updates for u... Juz bk fr gynae, manange to see my bb's heartbeat!

But still spotting on / off

Given a jab and more pills... Wondering if the spotting will ever stop.

Tintin, Soft, Melon, is your spotting better?

Tintin, my EDD is 18 Jul, quite close to yours?

 

[tintin_again]

hey gals...
tintin here for update!

wanna let u know dat all of a sudden on mon, i had some bleeding... it freaked me out totally!! i immed went to kk 24 hr clinic immed to check.

the gynae checked me and told me dat bb is fine, there is no active bleeding. and bb heartbeat is still there. i was SOOO relieved to hear dat. in fact, bb has grown from the last scan i had... it was abt 1cm already.

i asked wat is the reason for the bleeding then... gynae said no scientific reason for it as well, cld be old blood... anyway, i m still on hormone pills now...

going for my 2nd appt next mon. will see bb's progress then

oh yeah... my ms is terrible. esp in the evening. cant eat much for dinner... so now eat small portions and more meals... still end up putting on weight. and tummy showing already, whh my mum says is v fast.

 

[tintin_again]

oh piggy....
forgot to ans u....

my EDD is 17 Jul! 1 day earlier than u. hehe.

 

[soft]

Hi Cookie

I am not good at consoling people, try to stay cheerful as you can and come in often and chat with us. You will definitely feel much better after that. Stay positive, ok?

Hi Tiny

Wow, so good to travel and enjoy your holidays and really looking forward to any good news from you.

Hi Linda

So good to hear from you again.

Hi Millie, piggy, tintin

Updates from me too....Yes, I am fine, me have also had my checkup. I also managed to see the heartbeat and get to listen to it as well. Its so amazing.... however, still spotting on and off, so have to continue my jab and pills for another 3 weeks until my next checkup. You know what? I am having the same EDD as piggy, 18 July 04!

Hi tintin

Dun worry too much on the spotting and keep us updated on your checkup.

 

[melon]

Hi ladies

Thanks for your concern. Glad to hear that everyone is progressing fine.

As for updates from me, so far, I've been seeing my gynae every week for jabs and pills. Thankfully, the spotting has stopped but I do get slight cramps from time to time which still worries me. I finally managed to see my baby's heartbeat yesterday and hope that everything will continue to be fine. Tentatively, my EDD should be end Jul, not sure yet.

Meanwhile, I will take the advices of the ladies here to stay positive.

 

[folic]

Hi Ladies,
I just got back from my gynae for the 3 months check up. Everything looks ok and she actually gave me the green light to try if I want to!

The set up at my docs is such that she has a few consultation room and she moves from room to room to see the patients. So while sitting at the consultation room waiting for her to come in and see me, I flipped through my case records which the nurses left on the table. In it, I saw the last ultrasound scan of baby Jie AND a PHOTO of him after he was born. My heartbeat raced so fast that when the doctor came in shortly and took my blood pressure, it was at 160/100!!!!!

It was a mixed feeling. I felt strange looking at the picture and saying hi for the first time. He is not alive anymore but he was sucking his little hand. I felt like crying and yet happy to see the photo. It is like, hey! now I know how he looked like. My hubby had requested the nurse not to show me the photo then, thinking that it might make me sad. But now, after 3 months, I am really glad I have the photo for keepsake.

I will try to lose some more weight and then start trying in the next couple of months. Wish me luck!!

folic

 

[linda_thea]

Oh folic,
That was meant to be isn't it? That you have your chance to say goodbye too. I am glad your checkup went well. And good luck to your weight losing programme.

Hi soft, tintin, piggy,
Glad everything is going well!!!

 

[bebechic]

hihi folic,
great!! you can start trying too!! me postponing my trying from oct to feb already..cannot manage. i think i am going to switch job. so better dun play play. later carry my tummy doubt anyone will one me. i am here to wave pompom with you!!! kekeke.

tintin,
must take care yah. gynae say could be old blood so you dun worry too much. since baby is still pumping strong. be positive!!

 

[folic]

Hi Linda and Bebchic,

thanks for the support!

Linda, I am really very happy to get the photo. It is the only tangible memory of my baby for me.

Bebechic, I think I will only start after CNY as well. My hubby is worried that if I don't lose weight and get preg again, my chance of meeting some preg complications like diabetes etc will be higher. So his condition to try again is for me to lose weight

But it is very difficult for me, cos I usually quite heck care about my weight. anyway, I will do my best to keep my body in a better condition before I try!

I will be in Dublin next week for a business trip.. hope it is not too cold!

Everyone else,Jia you Jia you!!

folic

 

[linda_thea]

Hi folic
Dublin sounds great!

As for losing weight... I think cutting down on staples like bread, rice and noodles does help a lot.... And exercising more regular could also help to keep our body in a better condition.

Everyone must jia you!!!

 

[tiny]

Dear all,
Greetings from Dalat! Dalat's in the central highlands of Vietnam so the weather here is lovely. Sunny in the day, but temp. abt 24 degrees so it's perfect. Came from the South (Ho Chi Minh City) which was hot, noisy and dusty...yucky! Am travelling with my best friend and we're slowly working up North till we meet up with my hubby in Hanoi (he's working there at the moment). Having a great time away from work, and this place where we're staying (it's called Dreams Hotel in Dalat) is great value for money...US$8-12 per night (depending on room), inclusive of breakfast, and free internet access from 7-10pm! Owners are wonderful too, very hospitable.

Felt so happy reading all your posts about hearing your baby's heartbeats & all...it must be so reassuring, a sign that things are going fine.

Folic, almost cried when I read your post about Baby Jie's picture. So glad you are able to accept it, having the courage to take a look at your baby. It's most amazing isn't it? I'm sure he's in Heaven feeling loved all the time. And your doc gave you the green light huh? That's great! Let's all try together! Well, for now, enjoy your trip to Dublin. U get to travel a lot for work, don't u?

Ok, gotta go. Waking up early tomorrow morning to catch a bus to Nha Thrang - a seaside town further North!Bye now!

Tiny

 

[tintin_again]

hi everyone...

i'm back at work today...
yest went for gynae appt. bb has grown... now abt 2cm. hehe.

 

[millie]

tiny,
enjoy ur stay in vietnam! tell me more when u free/back yah!

folic,
guess u r away in dublin now. glad tt u hv the photo of baby jie as memento.

erh...r u fat in the 1st place? cos i m plump lah...already overwt. thot of losing wt but never got abt doing it..ha...lazy! and now have started baby dancing this mth...hee....hopefully there's gd news to share!

so everyone jia you! jia you!

tintin,
happy to hear ur baby has grown. now tt u r back to work, dun be too stress yah! must take care!

 

[misspiggy]

hi tintin,

How's work?

Me bk to work last week... but have difficulty waking up every morning. My MS is bad, I feel sick throughout the day

Still spotting on / off...

 

[tintin_again]

hi piggy...

work is okay so far... still clearing emails... loads of them.

my ms is quite bad too! i hv to resort to eating quite a number of sour plums to suppress the urge to vomit.

 

[misspiggy]

hi tintin,

I m happy to be preggy

n i know i shouldn't complain... But sometimes feel v sick, like totally hv no control over my own body... always hungry but no appetite, nauseous, stomach discomfort... n worrying abt spotting... quite tough going.

 

[folic]

Hi everyone,

greetings from Dublin. So cold ah!! I was wearing bermudas when I arrived (hero hor?) and thought I would be fine to run from aiport terminal to taxi. less than 2 mins but I was almost frozen! My Japanese colleague was laughing his head off at me!

Hi Tiny, you sound like you having a great tie in Viet! I love to travel for holidays. Travel for work is quite boring!

Hi Millie, yes, I travel quite a lot for work. But this year, cos of my preg, I cut down a lot but now no longer preg, my boss is making me go to places that I should have gone earlier in the year. So travel travel travel now lor. And yes, I am overweight, losing weight for health resons, not just for wearing a smaller size dress!

I am 1.59m but weighs 70kg. I lost about 4 kg after preg (which is what I weigh before my preg) and now, no matter what I do, it doesnt seemt to go down.

Linda, yeah, trying to cut down on carbo. I hate ang mo food, so hopefully, these few days in dublin will make it easier to lose weight! hahaa

ok, take care everyone else. I will login as and when I can.

folic

 

[tintin_again]

hi piggy,
try not to keep thinking abt spotting. u will feel better emotionally as well.

like u... i oso dun hv appetite to eat... btw, are there foods which u cannot take now? for me, garlic puts me off entirely... so my food choices quite limited now.

hi folic...
dats v courageous of u to wear bermuds... hehe... but i guess u did bring enuf clothing...

u hv all my moral support to lose weight.

 

[misspiggy]

hi tintin,

trying to stay positive... u 2

I'm ok with garlic, but I'm put off by ginger. Not very much into food these days, no craving at all. When my stomach starts churning I'll juz eat a bit.

 

[millie]

folic,

wow, u really amazing. there winter and u can still board plane in bermudes! keke...
i m 1.55m and weighing 60kg! so i m plump, very plump (actually fat but plump is a nicer word...heehee...). intend to lose some wt too what i m doing now is to reduce carbo intake.

know tt u r there for business trip but enjoy ur stay in dublin yah. seems like a place where most pple wont visit. how is it? exciting? or boring with only pubs?

i m going japan afterall. yippy!!! northwest got online promo and my hubby booked liao. now planning schedule.

piggy and tintin, ms is tough but remember to try to eat or at least drink some stuff like cereal yah.

 

[japanfan]

Hi millie,

sorry to sidetrack. But where can i find the info for this northwest promotion. I interested to go Japan too.

 

[millie]

go to northwest singapore website.u can see it under promotion.

http://www.nwa.com/sg/en/home.shtml

 

[japanfan]

Millie,

thanks for your info. But they require a min stay of 20 days which is impossible for me. Thanks anyway.

 

[tintin_again]

hi millie,
great! happy planning man... i'm sure u wld enjy the trip.

hi piggy...
hehe... looks like our taste buds different.

 

[java]

hi all,
I know I haven been posting here for quite awhile. Just felt quite disappointed, coz no results till now. Yesterday I went to see chinese physician, coz been having bad cramps even before period come. He said my blood circulation at my back is poor, so causing the cramps. Perhaps that makes it harder for me to conceive. I suspect its the side effects of epidural. So he prescribed me some thing to paste at my lower back and stomach to improve blood circulation. The medicine taste really yucky, but no choice. Seeing him 4 days later. Also been taking tang guai and bai foong wan to strengthen uterus. Most importantly will try to relax and enjoy sex instead.

Hope everyone's ok.

 

[folic]

Hi tintin/Millie,

yah, I very hero hor? I thinking whether I shoudl wear bermudas to go airport tomorrow nite!!

Somehow, I find Dublin not as charming as the other euroean cities. Maybe it is bcos i am here for work most of the time. I heard that the countryside of Ireland is nicer than Dublin itself. Lots of pubs here and Guiness is the answer to most of the problem - like if you tell someone u are stressed, they will say, have a guiness.


Millie, so cool you get to go to Japan!

Happy planning and let me know if you need help. I will check with my hubby.

Java, glad to see you back again. Was wondering what happened to you. Hope you feel better after the medication.

folic

 

[millie]

japanfan, think no need to spend 20days! we r going for 9 days. no problem with booking. u try again.

java, jia you jia you! me started trying too...hopefully, we get gd news soon yah!

just bear with the medicine. i m taking pai foong yuan too.

folic, thks for offer. anyway, just to confirm with u again. shinjuku area the best rt? still sourcing for cheap n gd location loding.

 

[millie]

ok folic, me again.....hopefully u r free to surf the net at nite in the guiness filled dublin. need to ask u questions.

wanna ask if day trip out fr tokyo is sufficient? we thot it is easier to book just lodging in tokyo and travel ard fr tokyo. rather than lugging our luggage ard.

we intend to visit osaka, kyoto, sendai and of course mt fuji. going total 9 days.

thks yah.

 

[java]

Hi,
I'm very happy today. By hubby finally found a job, permanent one somemore. Although pay not as good but the benefits very good. He was jobless for 6 months. Starting work on Monday. Give thanks to God!

 

[millie]

java,

seems like an early christmas blessing for u and ur hubby!

 

[bebechic]

hey java,
like that even better. now that he have a job. you can start baby dancing with less worries and stress. happy trying!!! hope you succeed the next month. my hubby told me not this month.so end up i skipped the days of "O" again. i think i will only be able to start when i found a new and better job.

 

[folic]

Hi Mocha,
If you intend those places, it would be difficult to stay put in Tokyo. The travelling alone will be 2-3 hours already. So no point. Plus, hotel in Tokyo not very special, just normal tourist class hotel. So you should go to the hotels in those areas you wanted to go. Splurge on a ryokan with onsen in Mt Fuji for one night lah! Never been to Mt Fuji, just pass by only but heard the onsen there is good! And also, for Tokyo, I think Shinjuku is really most convenient as compared to the other areas.

Java,

glad to see a happy post from you! I saw your last post just before leaving Dublin and didnt really have a chance to post a msg.

Good things happen when least expecting

Don't worry too much about not being able to get preg again soon ok? Soak in the holiday atmosphere!!

btw, I am back in Singapore already. But as all you can guess, I am terribly jetlagged now !!
Going to JB to visit my MIL tomorrow. Talk again soon!

folic

 

[millie]

folic, it's millie lah. not mocha.

anyway, i hv managed to find a lodging in shinjuku area. finally! and we r considering staying in mt fuji area or kyoto for 1 nite. other nites...well, stuck in tokyo!

thks for advice yah!

 

[folic]

Hi MILLIE,

wah lau! I must be really jetlagged. You might want to reconsider staying in Tokyo and then go to Osaka for day trip. You will spend more time on the train than looking around. Also, you must remember that your schedule will circle around the train schedule and you might not be able go to Osaka as early as you want or come back as late as you want. The bullet train between the cities will not be running at intervals like MRT trains.

folic