Child Adoption

Babylove, welcome! Why not juz continue @ Tanjong pagar FSC since u already copmpleted filling yr HSR. They r accredited by MCYS, rite? I believe the waitg time 4 all the agencies will b abt da same. Did u identify bb thru agent or personal contact? Guess u wld nd 2 ask the person 2 hold bb 4 u.

SweetCL05, Congrats on submitg forms! Dun nd 2 contact Alice so soon la. Best time is call her once yr home visit is over cos if all goes well, approval will come in aprox 2 to 3 weeks.

Dun worry abt high cholesterol. I also hv high cholesterol PLUS my husband is kidney transplant patient n I m the donor who gave him one of my kidneys, YET we passed. We had 2 produce a lot of rpts/ltrs fr our drs n MCYS had lotsa qns but thy still approved us so if we can pass, u n yr husband will b fine ;)

Thx 4 compliment abt bb. She's startg 2 show her true colors. She now cries then screams 2 show her displeasure. i nd 2 learn how 2 make my photos smaller then can post ;)

Blesswbb, I remember u mentioned that u doing FET sometime dis yr.Is it this mth? If u r, all da best!

Hi Die, I pd using personal chq, in 3 payts @ different times. $15k, $5k then $5k
 


babylove80, agree with the mommies, just stick to TP FSC. I don't think they have more forms than Touch. For Touch, they have a declaration form on whether you have a baby. Not sure if TP FSC has that. Not sure if it will matter in term of speed. But you can call Touch or TP FSC and ask them.

SweetCL05, you are buddy of me and Elle!

Die, yes, I'm excited. Also, I'm scare. I was discussing with my husband and reveal that I'm a bit scare. With pregnancy, we have 9 months of preparation whereby we will adjust and stay at home more. With adoption, you can run around till baby is here. So, it can be a sudden change to social life. I am surprised that when I was trying so hard for a baby, i never think about things like that. But my husband was very sweet, he said that it will not be so scary and we have the mothers-in-law, sister-in-law and help. Also, he said that with adoption, we don't have to go through the 9 months of pregnancy and hence, have shorter time to adjust.
I wonder if the mommies here have/had the same fear. I wonder if I'm normal or having cold feet.
 
okie. me excited too! All the best iwantitvmuch.
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Sweetcl05, congrats in the submittion of the HSR ! I jus sent mine last week too.

Yuli, I have not contacted any agency yet. The amt paid in different time must be be within a certain agreed period with the agent. Will there be any other additional to pay ?
 
Thanks for welcoming me to your thread.

Hi Iwantitsomuch,

I can totally relate to the adjustment period. There are also feelings of uncertainity. But you know what, the best advice I have received so far, is that your maternal instincts will kick in, and as you and the baby get to know one another, you will be able to meet his/her needs. What I am doing now, is I am gathering a list of things i need for the baby when he comes to us. Decisions as to whether to use a cloth cradle or a cot need to be made, the type of infant formula, type of pampers, who to care for the baby when i am working etc...

If you need a month or so after your HSR to plan things out, do take it. Cos once you meet bb, you cannot resist taking him/her home. I speak from experience.

As long as there is enough family support around, then you should be able to adapt. However, importantly, you need to be in control
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. Never let anyone decide what's best for your little one.

There is a declaration form, which all the agencies require adoptive parents to sign before embarking on the HSR.

I was looking at the Touch forms, they seem much easier to fill compared to the TPFS ones. We might just go with them. THe agent also recommends Touch. I am kicking myself for not doing ealier. Can I ask where you did your medical, as I usually go to the polyclinic and they don't do such medical examinations.
 
Hi Everyone,

I was reading your posts, and I have to say, I admire your strength for giving it your all.

Just thought I might share a little about myself...My hubby and I tried IUI but wasn't successful. Gynae wanted us to prep for IVF, but when I was at SGH CARE, I saw the emotional turmoil of some of the ladies there. We decided to adopt as we felt that the money spent will be worth it, as our chances to conceive was low. Also, I have always wanted to adopt. That's how we got started on this journey of adopting.

I also had this fear of not being able to have a baby at all. And I could not bear the thought at all. People whom I have shared my plans to adopt say that the child will be lucky, but I tell them that it US who will be the lucky ones. The child will definitely be a blessing to us.
 
Yuli,

What was the time interval that u made the three payments 15k, 5k, 5k? Was the 1st payment made when u brought the baby home? Thanks.. n sorry.. so many questions..

iwantitsomuch,
I understand ur fear. Its like..if we have a biological child then we accept everything and any situations that arises as a result including a drastic change of lifestyle..but its different with adoption..I have a secret fear of regretting the adoption..what if raising a kid is tougher than I thought and I get the feeling that I brought this (burden) on myself? I know I shouldnt feel this way but I am not ashamed of revealing this secret fear..cuz having a kid whether biological or through adoption can be emotionally and financially draining n we r responsible for the kid therafter with no escape. However, I will try to count the blessings and not worry so much with negative thinking. Truth is that I am a real worrywart..and being in the childcare profession for 15 years, I do realise the reality of raising a kid and that its not all fun and games.

Recently i met up with a fren whose baby just turned 6 mths. She told me that even natural biological parents like her also worry if they r doing the right thing in having a baby, whether they r doing the best for their baby, and her guilt at having to work long hours away fr baby..she is a surgeon. So I tell myself all this worry is natural..its what parents do.

Top of my lists of worry is financial status. We have been comfortable functioning as a dual income couple but r we ready to raise a family what with childcare fees etc, my guilt at leaving baby to work cuz I dont have the financial option to be a SAHM, and finally I worry that my hubby and I will be 'old' parents.

From what I plan, if we adopt a son next year, I will be 33, my hubby 39. Which means when my son is 20, I will be 53, my hubby will be 59. Ok this doesnt sound too bad but it goes on..I plan to adopt a baby girl when my son turns 4. Which means when my daughter is 20, I will be 57 and my hubby 63. Are we too old to be parents? Strange how life turns out..when I was a blushing bride, I had always imagined ourselves as young parents but I just celebrated my 9 year wedding anniversary two days back and its still just the 2 of us..sigh

Babylove80,
Your fear of not having a baby at all ends here.Cuz U can surely have a baby in ur arms thru adoption! ;) All the IUIs and IVFs and whatever assisted reproduction methods does not guarantee a baby at the end and it is definitely not cheap and very emotionally draining to go thru them. And many times after a sucessful attempt thru these methods, a miscarriage can happen and devastate us. This was my experience. So now u can concentrate on the adoption process, look and plan ahead and wait for ur bundle of joy at the end of the adoption process..thats something to smile abt isnt it?
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;) ;) Hope u have ur baby in ur arms soon. Did u want a girl or boy?
 
iwantitsomuch

To conclude what I was rambling on and on abt our fears,,here's a gd one..'Celebrate the joys and accept the challenges' ;)
 
Die, you and your husband are the same age as me and my husband!! And I've been thinking about the same thing as you on adopting a girl when the boy is older. We are married for 6.5 yrs and wanted to be young parents but didn't. But don't worry, we are still very very young!!
And you are so spot on about the fear that I have. The 'brought this on myself' thought is driving me crazy. I'm glad what I'm going through is normal ! Phew.

Babylove80, I went to SGH Care for my IVFs(3 times). It's not guarantee and it's a waste of money like you said. I did it so that I can move on to this stage. Thanks for your advice too. For the medical check, you can go to a GP. I did it at the clinic at Shenton Link in DBS Tower II. You can look for the female doctor there. You need to take a urine and blood test and will have to wait one week for test result. Else, you can go to Drs Bain and Partner at One Raffles Quay because they have a lab for urine test. Or else, any GP should be able to perform the tests.
 
Hi Ladies,
Sorry, haven't posted for a while but have been reading the posts every day whenever I have some free time...

I am now 100% SAHM for one month! Enjoying every minute of it except the night feeding when he decides he wants his milk every 2 hours! So, last night, I barely slept...11 pm, 1 am, 3 am, 5 am and 7 am...the problem is that he likes to drink milk very often in small quantity. Otherwise, he is a very good boy
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and likes to sleep during the day!

Blesswbb and Yuli,
How often do you go to PD? WHen should be my next visit? I only went once so far for the medical check up.

According to the immunization schedule that I have got from my PD, the next vaccination is at 2 months for DTP/IPV/HIB/HVB and Rotavirus (optional). Then, 3 months for pneumococcus (optional).

Blesswbb
I understand your worry about your bb not drinking too much milk but I guess that as long as Dr says she is doing fine, then don't worry too much. For me, I wish he can sleep much longer at night so that I can have proper sleep!

Yuli,
How much is your daughter drinking now?

Babylove 80,
Great to have you here and I can feel your excitement. Wondering what happened to the bb you fell in love with? Did you see his/her picture? I can understand the heartache you are going through. Is the agent waiting for you? Just want to remind you that local adoption do not require HSR ..just in case.

Iwantitvmuch,
I think that as you are one step closer, reality sinks in and all your worries start to surface. Don't worry about it. It is only natural and I think all adoptive/natural parents are going through it. But the good thing is that you will forget everything once you set eye on the bb and all your worries would disappear! So, yep, dont' worry...you are normal!

Die,
Understand how you feel. My hubby felt the same way. My elder daughter is already 7 and we are not young anymore! but I really wanted another sibling for my daughter and I also felt that my family was not complete. So, here we are! I am 37 and he is 40...so, don't worry, what is important is to be young in mind!

Janella,
How are you? Haven't heard from you for a while.

Elle Lim and Sweet 05
Sorry, can't help you on your queries as I did not go thru HSR but you have my emtional support!
 
dream,
I only see the PD after 1mth for her 2nd jab on Hep B...other than that i see the PD on her loose stool...in fact i will be only again tmr on her milk prob....my mum notice her lost of weight...which i also realised today after weighing her...i found she only gain 0.3kg in a mth...for what i know she should be gaining 1kg for every mth till she is 6mth old. I'm really worried sick.
 
Die,
I also agreed to what dream said, I did think of the same issue as yours. I'm also not young, I'm 36 and hubby is 39...

Hi Elle and iwantitvmuch, hope our HSR Report can go through smoothly and we're able to see ours babies soon...

Today, Alice called my hubby mentioned the HSR Report will take 2 months before office interview, so long.... think there's a long queue...
 
SWEETCL05,
congrats for the submission of yr HSR report.
Thanks...my little girl has different look everyday...but recently have not taking any pics or videos on her cos she lost weight...sigh...wait till she back to her cheerful ways again i will be taking more of her talking to mummy...
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yuli,
I find u very "wei da" really go thru alot to have this little girl....very happy for u too.
Oh...i'm not going thru FET instead i'm going thru a IVF fresh cycle. But got to postpone to Nov as my hubby will not be in town during next mth. He said he wants to be around during my last IVF so he suggest delay the IVF thing. He also want me to have more time to build the bond with our little girl
 
die,
don worry abt ur age...i'm 38 and my hubby 39...our little girl is only 2mths old. We intend to hv another 1 next year either by IVF or adoption...i don think age is an issue when u have these children by yr side and seeing them growing up.
 
BlesswBB, I'm worried for your bb too. I hope the doctor can do something. keep me updated.

SWEETCL05, 2 months only! Better do whatever you want to do now. I have a baby list items which I can send to you so that you can start buying the items.
 
Good morning ladies,
Seems we are all about the same age with die being the youngest! Anyway, what matters is that we all are ready and love children. And I guess we will all work until our old age to pay for their education!
blesswbb
seems like every PD has different immunization schedule. Otherwise, hope your bb is fine. I read that we should not give water to bb as it makes them full but old folks always say water is good. Wondering whether you could check this with your PD today. I am not giving him any water. What about you?

About your ivf, I think your hubby is right. Take the time to bond with your daughter.by then, she would be close to 5 months and it should be easier on you.

Sweet05
take the time to clear up all your stuffs and get ready for bb stuff. I know 2 months seem a long time but at least you have a timeline to work with.
 
iwantitvmuch and dream,
Thanks for the concern.
Went to the PD that Alice intro at Serangoon, he said it is baby to decide how much milk they want it is not us to decide. Some babies will drink milk without their limit...some only take 4 times a day. He also advise me not to show my frustration to her as bb read facial expression. Once they see frustration in our face, they will be scared and will not drink. I'm now trying to give her my loving kindness face to make her drink milk...looks like it show some improvement
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As for water, i let her have after every 2hrs feed. It helps to clean her tongue at the same time. In fact, doc ever advise me to give her 2 drop of water immediately after every feed but i worried it may cause bloatedness.
 
blesswbb
thanks for sharing and great to read that bb is ok. I also wonder why my bb sometimes drinks a lot and sometimes very little. It is really hard to estimate how much he wants to drink. So your pd advice is a good one and I will also try not to show my emotions to him. This morning I try to estimate his weight. Seems like he grew quite a fair bit from 2.8 kg to 3.4 kg in 2 weeks time. I guess he has lots of catch up to do compared to your little girl! Sometimes he only drinks 1.5 ounces! But then, he drinks milk very frequently. Thanks for advice on water. And really happy to read that PD has put your mind at ease.

Otherwise I read that we should start them on tummy time. Have you started? It is supposed to help them in their motor skills.
 
blesswbb,
wow times passed very fast, now ur baby is already 2 months....

Normally when u gals start to buy baby's stuff? I'm thinking of buying it now but hubby said it's still too early....
 
Sweetcl05,
Don buy it now. U get very frustrated when yr bb is delayed due to various reasons. I bgt some bb stuff like milk bottles & clothing (whenever i come across pretty ones) when my agent told me there is bb for me to view. The rest of the things like bb cot I waited till bb is confirmed ( I let her sleep on the bed with me before they send the bb cot). But for the time being u can look around where to get those bb stuff & list it down. So by the time bb arrive u know where to get what.
 
sweetcl05
I would also agree with blesswbb to wait till things are more firmed up before buying big items. Otherwise it will be stressful to have so many bb things around while you are waiting. But you should definitely plan on what you want to buy so when time comes you just need to go and pay for the items. With adoption, we can't control timing. Sometimes it is really quick and sometimes it is a bit long and there s nothing we can do about it.

Blesswbb
Tummy time is when you put your bb on her tummy. It is supposed to strengthen neck and helps in gross motor skill. Most bb don't like it as it is not very comfortable and they have to exert more strength to lift up their head. Seems like some websites recommend this for newborn while others say it is better to wait for 2-4 months when neck is stronger. Just google it and you will find better explanations!

About water, my PD said no more than 1-2 ounces a day should be fine.

My bb boy is really difficult to take care at night. Somehow he will cry around 3 am. Most likely has tummy ache at that time! Any advice?
 
AH

you had mentioned that ur baby is a local baby & u had spent less than 15K for the adoption. how long did u wait for the BB & for th process to get over. how did u apply for the local bb?

is there any agency thro which u proceed or did u contact mcys directly for the application?

lots of Qs dont know who to ask...
 
Mrs Ha,
Welcome to the thread! I hear some agencies are also doing local adoption so you may want to give them a call. You can also call MCYS to enquire about local adoption but I think there is a long queue.
 
dream,
Talk abt tummy time...i'm afraid she will have difficulty in breathing...i tend to lie her on my chest instead...she prefer to hear my heartbeat and will fall asleep very easily.
Did u put on the medicated oil for bb (Yu Yee oil) on him every nite before he sleep? I also gave her Gripewater twice a day...1 in the morning and 1 nite with 1oz water added.
By the way, if yr bb boy hv prob finishing the milk...try cleaning his tongue.
 
Hi Dream09,

It is a foreign adoption. Baby is currently under the care of the agent. We will be doing our medical coming Monday. Following which, we will submit to Touch.

Initially I was planning on going with Tanjong Pagar Family Services, but when I call, Ms Hai Yeng is never in and she never returns my call. It is very frustrating. That's why I have decided to go with Touch.

*cross fingers*
 
Also, everyone what do you think about the 4 week adoption leave? I want to write a letter to MCYS to appeal that they extend it to at least 3 months. Let me know if I will have your support. I believe that there should not be a distinction between Maternity and Adoption leave. They should be the same as it is during this time that we get to bond with our baby. I think it is a lot more challenging when we adopt as the baby would have had it's own fair share of trauma.

I look forward to your comments.
 
Mrs Ma,

I went to the same agency as others. It just happened. (Local means baby is a singaporean ) When I bought home my son,I did not even have a baby blanket. Most of the clothes were brought later.

To all new mummy, welcome to motherhood.
 
Hi ladies,

thx I am back from my trip. Was planning to be away for a mth at tailand with hubby, but was summon back by hubby's boss, has urgent matters to attend to. Sigh! However, we had fun at the beach resorts, It was heavenly!

We took a coach from singapore to Hatyai and from there take another coach to Koh Samui then to Phuket. Really pamper ourselves, went for spa, massage, medicure, pedicure, henna. U name it we did it, haha! And bcoz it's low season now, everything at 1/2 price. From shopping to eating, to sleeping.

Really recommend u to go during this period after october it'll be their peak season, everything expensive.

Btw, on the day that I left, saw on the papers that there was a little baby girl abandon by the mom at woodlands, anyone of you follow up this news?
 
babylove 80
you must feel quite stressed if you have already fell in love with the bb. is the agent waiting for you? are you able to visit the bb on week ends (assuming bb is in malaysia). i am sure the agent is asking some confirmation from you.

on adoption leave, i agree with you that it is really unfair that adoption leave is only 1 month. for my case, i am not even entitled to any leave according to mcys as baby is not singaporean. luckily, my company still granted me one month but i really feel i am being shortchanged although at the same time i feel grateful to have one month off...i hope you know what i mean...in other western countries, the adoption leave is much longer as well.

Nicole,
1 month leave would have been paradise but it seems you still managed to do quite a lot! it seems you are refreshed and stress free! i also love spa and massage too...so far, only went to phuket. was a bit disappointed about the beach there. which place has the best beach?

not sure when would be next holiday. wondering whether we could go somewhere in december when bb is 3.5 mts old. any suggestion? otherwise, have to wait till next june, which is quite far off...

blesswbb,
how do you clean the tongue? otherwise, gripewater is the name of the medicine? so far, only used bb oil (the red one) and another ointment given by alice.
 
Hi Dream,

yah, it was fun. We did quite a bit of travelling on their buses too but would not advise you to do it with ur young children. Maybe we are really pampered cos in S'pore we have so much of convenience and comfort in terms of transport. Took us abt 6 to 7 hrs bus ride to reach Phuket from Koh Samui and nd to change 2 buses and a ferry.

It'll be good if you fly direct to Phuket and I would recommend Karon Beach. It is less crowded like Patong Beach and quite convenient to travel around their bus or tuk tuk. Their bus costs something like 25 (Singapore cents) and tuk tuk costs 300Baht for the whole group on it.

The hotel that we stayed in was wonderful, will try to post picture soon. Consider 3 star but really nice, costs us 800baht/nite (which is abt S$20+ or $30)

If you really plan to go in December, be prepared to pay more cos it's their high season.

Babies tend to have colic, maybe can try putting yu yee oil then use napkin wrapped around bb stomach to get rid of the wind. See if it works.
 
dream,
I use cotton wool with some salt water. I check with my friend that just use warm water with small towel (which i think is too thick to go into bb mouth). As my little girl tongue is infected with fungus Doc actually gave some medicine for it. Gripewater is for not medicine...is a kind of water which can relief from wind pains, digestive upsets especically during teething period. The brand of the gripewater is Woodwards...u can get it in NTUC or any chinese medical hall or even Guardian Pharmacy. If u are not sure can ask Alice...she's the one who told me to give it to my bb.
As for overseas trip, i think is better for bb to be 6mth old. I intend to bring my girl to Hongkong next year March when she's 7mth old.
 
Elle, SWEETCL05, have you all attended the Disclosure workshop?? This is a requirement(compulsory) to attend. It's on the 15th of October. Let me know if you want the details? you need to send the cheque in. Go check it out at Touch website.
I've sent out my cheque.
 
Nicole,
yes, please post pictures! I guess we would have to wait a while before enjoying beach resort! So, I'll enjoy your pictures instead!

thanks for advice for the colic. Already putting yu yee oil. will try with napkin.

Blesswbb,
ok, will go and buy this weekend. Seems like Alice gave you lots of tips! I guess she thought I would know since I already have one girl but my memory is failing me!

For trip, I guess we may have to wait till june unless going to visit relatives in Malaysia.

iwantitvmuch,
I guess it would be an interesting talk and a talk that most of us dread. So, let's all keep in touch so that our kids don't feel so different when they grow up.
 
Hi Dream,
I've had that talk with my 5 year old. I really can't remember when I told her but its not easy. My mum and in laws don't agree on why did i have to tell her so early
 
Elizabth, it's better for her to know from you, than other people. You know your child best, on when to tell her. Maybe it's too early, maybe it's the right time for your child. And only the mother's instinct can tell. I'm sure you did the right thing and have felt better after telling.

For me, I hope it's easier(I hope!!). My husband is adopted too. And I intend to 'make' the child adopt a pet when he(or she) is older.
 
Elizabeth,
I think the older generation feels that it is always best kept as a secret but we all know that it should be told. It is for the child's best interest but I think as a parent, it is a tough time. I think our society is also not opened enough and sometimes even family members are very tactless. So, it makes it hard for adoptive parents to come forward and feel proud of it. Western countries are so different and it is much accepted fact. But I think, things are changing in Singapore for the better for our children.

Did you buy any good book to explain this concept? It seems the US has a lot but here, I could not find any of these adoption books in Singapore. Any book to recommend? I think at 5 years old, she may not really truly understand but what is important is that she is familiar with words and the concept. Later, when she is grown up, she will certainly ask you more questions.

How old is your kid now?

My hubby was also wondering how to tell our neighbours as he is the more conservative type but I would say, he has "grown". Most of our neighbors were very positive while some were speechless and did not know what to say. But, I think we have to remember we live for ourselves and not for others.

Iwantitvmuch,
Can you share with us how your hubby feels about being adopted? Was he told when he was young or much later? Has he ever felt the need to look for his natural parents? Did he feel different from the rest of his other sibling. I am sorry if this is too personal.
 
I've PM dream my hubby's adoption story. I didn't want to write it here permanently. But to cut long story short, my husband is in touch with his biological family because they gave him up to the baby sitter after my hubby's mom passed away when he was young.
My hubby is very grateful to my baby sitter mother in law and loves her very much. We still keep in touch with his biological father and sisters and have dinner during special occasion. I think my husband feels more adopted when he's with his biological family. haha. He might not admit it but he's definitely not close to them at all.
 
Elizabeth
I do agreed, older generation ppl more conservatives in their thinking. The point is they might be afraid tat the child will want to find his/her biological family when he/she knows the truth but this can't be help, I find it's fated.

I remember i read abt a post that the mum told her kid abt adoption using cartoon character as senario eg. how tarzan being adopted... sound interesting.... maybe u can try
 
Well God is great...We were watching tv and Tarzan came on and we talked about his feelings etc and from that day on our conversations have been good about her mum.
(Dream) My little one came to me when she was 31/2 weeks old and now she is 5.
I even got a puppy and this helped, as in away it helped her understand that we are now the puppy's new family.
There is another book I bought but I can't remember the name right now I'll find it and post it.
I am very open to chat with my little girl about her adoption and she is with me. However she doesn't talk to my hubby this way. In fact I've never heard her have a long conversation with him like she does with me.
What are the ages of all the little ones here? I heard in the states they have a support group that meet up with their children (Like Touch) one a month or so to allow these children know that they are not different or alone. So is anyone up to it?I don't mean right now but futher down the road.
 
Hi shannon,
I don't agree with you...cos we adopt to give these children love and a safe place not to replace an empty hole in use....they will always have their biological family and this could never be taken away. The truth will set you free because that mum will behiding something for the rest of her life and if the little one ever heard from a outside person her trust in the parents would be broken....so I beleve the truth is the best...and i think we all treat the child as your own even if they are adopted...their should be no different...or that parent has it all wrong about the meaning of adoption.
 
Hi Sharon, what makes you feel that way? Do you have an experience to share?

Iwantitvmuch, thx for sharing your hubby's story. It's heartwarming!

Elizabeth, hello! I remember reading your posts in the past. Nice of you to drop in and share with us!

Blesswbb, I just saw your dd's videos on your blog. Soooooo cute! She's quite a talker, huh?! I loooove her hair! So nice and thick not like my daughter's thinning hair
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I really need to log in more often. I missed out on so many discussions. I'm gonna catch up now.

SweetClo5, re: buying of bb items. I actually went ard different places to chk out bb items and only bought the items the weekend b4 bb was due to arrive. That wkend was really busy but very productive. We bot the cot, playpen, steriliser, bottles, bb dishwashing & laundry detergent, and some onesies.

Dream! got pic of bb to share or not? He must be about 3-4weeks now? My dd is drinking erratically. She normally drinks about 4oz (approx 120ml) The other night she surprised us by drinking 5.5oz. According to suggested feeding schedule on the Similac milk-can, it says 2mth olds should be drinking 180ml (approx 5.5oz-6oz). She can sometimes finish a lot, sometimes can't even finish her regular 4oz so I now make her a 4oz bottle first, then if she cries after finishing then I'll know she hasn't had enuff, then I make a 2oz bottle for her. That way, I don't waste so much undrunk milk. So sayang. Your boy's weight gain sounds gd! They are sposed to gain 1kg of their birthweight when they turn 1mth old. I dunno how much they must gain from 2mth onwards tho.

re: immunization schedule
I realise different PDs have different schedules. Mine is similar to Dream's PD's schedule. I'm bringing dd for her 5in1 next week.

re: Tummy time
I was also told by a friend that it's good to build up neck muscles. I just received a tummy time mat as a gift but haven't cleaned it for bb to try out yet. I have been letting her sleep and stretch on her tummy since she was about 6 weeks old. She can turn her head from side to side while on her tummy so gotta watch her closely so that she doesn't end up squashing her nose when she's deep asleep. She can do very mini, very short-lived baby push-ups when on her tummy.

babylove, I wana support you if you're writing that letter to MCYS. You are absolutely right that regardless of whether we give birth or not to the bb, the taking care process, rest and bonding is still the same as for a biological child. And I was told by the MCYS officer (when I went to collect the dependant's pass) that adoption leave is NOT an entitlement. It is dependent on whether your company wans to give you or not! I feel they should make it an entitlement. They talk about our dwindling population - they should support adoption!

Elizabeth - yes, it'll definitely be nice for us to form a support group for our children. Mine and Blesswbb's dd are approx 8weeks old (born 3 days apart). Dream's ds is about 3-4weeks I think. Maybe when more babies join their waiting families, we can then meet up together!! I'm sure we'll have lots to learn from you! I also hv quite a few friends who have adopted children.
 
Yuli,
It is nice to have you back! I guess your little bundle of joy is keeping you very busy. Seems like your bb feeding is as erratic as mine. I guess they have their days. Sometimes, hungry ..sometimes no appetite. I usually make 2 ounces (which is not much compared to what he should drink) but he hardly finishes it. Then, yesterday night, I really got worried. He kept crying and it seemed like he wanted more..so, i kept feeding him but was so scared that he would throw up..so, instead of his usual 2oz, he drank 4.5 oz...and I had to make 3 bottles as I just made 1oz every time thinking that would be enough. So, I remembered what you said and told my hubby that he must have his growth spurt!

For tummy time, I ask my PD and she said no need for time being but need to make sure that bb changes position when he sleeps so that he won't have a flat head. So, sometimes, should get him to sleep on the right side, another time on the left and other time just lie down. But I guess this is more important for boys since girls would have their long hair to cover up if their head is too flat..
happy.gif


You are right, my boy is 3 weeks today! Although he is still light compared to your girl, I can feel that my arm is a bit numb at times. I think I am spoiling him too much as I enjoy carrying him.

Elizabeth-yes, please share the book with us when you have time and I also really hope we can form a small support group.

Sharon-I think it goes without saying that we will all treat our children as our own. Otherwise, what is the point of adopting? Only when a couple is ready, they will decide to go through adoption. But I agree that this is a very touchy subject and may be you can help us by sharing the reasons why you feel it is best not to tell the children.

Blesswbb-hope you had a good week end.

Iwantitvmuch-thanks again for sharing your story with us.
 
iwantitvmuch, sweetcl05 - I have received the acknowledgement from Touch. They will contact us in about 2 months time on the interview. So, this will be in Nov i think. Better start my mental and house-preparation now.

iwantitvmuch - I have not attend the Disclosure workshop yet. Is this the 15 Oct workshop ? Ok, then i may meet you there too ! That's wonderful
happy.gif
I want to thank you for sharing the your story.

i have told a girlfriend i am adopting and she asking will I tell your child they are adopted ? She has a daughter (biological) but she highlighted the children are intelligent and they will feel or know somehow if you are hiding something from them. I agree with dream and elizabeth it is a touchy subject. We may not have any easy answer (in fact it took me a while to pen this in the HSR) but I feel it would be better to hear from us as parents than from others which will break theirs and our heart if we as parent are hiding from them.
 


Elle, quickly register by sending the cheque to Touch. I've attached the link here.
http://www.tcs.org.sg/pdf/apw_AdoptiveParenting.pdf 

Hopefully, after the workshop, it will help us to 'disclose' in future.
Don't worry, just LOVE them . It's not all that bad or serious. Don't over emphasize on this matter. my hubby's extended family has many cases of family members being adopted and they don't have these problems at all. You all, don't worry so much too. These worries are all unfounded. Maybe one in many cases if you are unlucky. But people has problem with their biological child too.
Don't forget that we start of as wanting to bless a child.
 
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