Child Adoption

hi,
wow so many new friends here but somehow we kind of know each other from the Ivf thread! Nicole, i remember we formed the 37 club, right?

Anyway, just wanted to welcome everyone here and tell you that you won't regret your decision. My little bundle of joy is here now and I can not imagine my life without him! So, persevere and you will achieve your dream to be mummies very soon
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Hi Yuli,

thx for the information, My frenz hubb is kind of resistant abt the checkup otherwise he is fine abt the adoption. I will let them know.

Hi humbug,

are you resting at home now cos I think I see youi on facebook quite often. I am resting at home too, but leaving for Indonesia in a mth's time due to my hubbies work. I wonder if there'll be any problem if we were to bring the baby out of singapore cos we'll be in Indonesia for at least 1 year or 2.

Dream,

oh yes I remember but I wasn't very sure it was u. Wow, u must be veryhappy now with ur bb boy. How I env u.
 
Hi ladies, sharing a recent pic of my daughter taken yesterday. Sorry, the pic is so big! How to make smaller? I'm really goondu at these things. She looks kinda cross-eyed in this pic, trying to focus on the camera! haha

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ouah! She has grown so much! And she is really beautiful! I can't wait for all our children to grow up so that they can play together! My boy would be lucky to play with 2 pretty girls!

Nicole,
have you decided on adoption or still thinking of it? May be you could call mcys to enquiry about your case as you will be living overseas.
 
Yuli,

your girl is so beautiful. So envious, make me salivate! haha! Is she chinese from malaysia? Your agent is Alice from lotus is it?

Dream,

I dunno leh, Maybe after I settle over there then I will come back to enquire cos I am leaving for holiday soon. But will pop by here and check on u ladies and ur babies. What's ur email add? Maybe I can know abt the updates on the forum from you. Hee!Hee! But if you are busy I can understand cos u got bb and a girl to look after.
 
Thx to the welcome & nice to know you all ladies !

BlesswBB, Yuli, Thx U for the replies. You must be very busy now with the baby
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I will take note of these tips. Pray when I have the interview, can pass I will be very happy. ^_^
Hopefully I do not become tongue-tight.

My place kinda of messy and have plants and golf sets in the house. So concern if they look at them sure fail on child friendliness
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iwantitvmuch - Send HSR via postoffice at Suntec on Mon to catch the 7pm collection.
So we can start counting .....

Nicole..I am also the same case.
Took me a long while to take the adoption route.
After my miscarriages and failed IVFs plus no much younger, we both decided to go forward with our adoption plan as we both love children.

It is wonderful to see this forum becoming so much alive with all the wonderful support.
This way, I know I am not alone.

You all have a great day ahead !
 
Hi Elle,

sometimes the road to motherhood is not so smooth for some, like us. But I agree wif some ladies (either here or IVF thread, I can't remember) saying if everyone is able to have their own child, what about those orphans whose parents abandon them. Maybe that's why GOD has this plan for us.

In any case, I think I will take a while more b4 I embark on the journey of adoption cos my situation may be a little complex. Gd luck to you.

Hi Die,

how are you? Have u started working? Or r u still recuperating at home? Hope everything's fine with you.
 
Hi Nicole,

I am back to work.. wow you are going so long.. hey maybe in indonesia you can slowly search for a child there then bring her/him in to register with a lawyer
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That might be a cheaper alternative.

Yuli,

She is really a very beautiful child.
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You are a sure lucky mum and she is lucky to found you as her mum too
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Hi Humbug,

is it true? Do we have to go thru HSR? Do you have any idea? If it is really workable this way I wouldn't mind. This reminds me that my cousin also adopted a bb boy from his husband's cousin, she seems to have an easier time adopting thru that way. But I still need to check.

Ya will be away probably longer than that depending on his job. Btw, u r Mabel Wong on Facebook, rite?
 
yuli,
the photo really big...haha...but good can see much clearer than the 1st pic u post. She very sweet leh...i like her lip...very kissable...hehe
yrs put on alot of weight hor? mine only look longer leh...next mth she will be going for her next jab...hope she gain weight...with her fussy over her milk make me worry.
Remember not to put things too near her...they tend to cross eyes...
 
elle lim,
Try to keep yr house tidy...they more or less will comment on it...even the officer in charge approved, MCYS will still come by yr house when u applying for the child citizenship. Fyi, there will be a home visit from MCYS...if yr home is not child friendly yr bb citizenship will be delayed.
 
Thank you all! Yes, she is lovely and we are fortunate to have her in our lives
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Blesswbb, sorry, paiseh ah, pic so big. I must go and learn how to resize pictures. Windows Photo Gallery like cannot resize leh. My daughter also going for jab sometime next week. Yes, she is putting on weight. Abt 5kg now. I'm getting backaches carrying her! So unfit! I think she's going through a growth spurt right now. She seems to be fussy/crying shortly after her feed of 4oz. I may try and give her an additional 1 oz to see if she can finish.

Elle - we didn't make our place child friendly for the home visit for our HSR assesor. We just kept the place neat and tidy and she offered suggestions as to what we can do to make the place more child friendly so don't worry about it.

Dream - yah, like Blesswbb, put up a picture of your boy as soon as you can, ok? I imagine you're very busy now!

Someone asked a qn about going back to work. I actually went back to work for a couple of hours each day about 2 weeks after bb arrived cos I really didnt' expect bb to come so quickly so I had a lot of loose ends in the offce to tie up. My mum helped me to look after bb while I was away. Now, I go into the office daily from 1030am - 630pm.
 
hi ladies
I have been sick for the past 2 days and doctor forbids me to take care of bb in case I pass him my germs. Really hard to be at home and not able to take care of him. My helper is taking care of him now. I am on mc today. As for my adoption leave, my company agreed on one month leave which I will start taking from Monday. That was a big relief! I guess one month is better than nothing but it is really not fair if you compare to maternity leave of 4 months. Once bb is home, it is the same work! I think 3 months will be fair...Will go back office this Friday to clear my stuff. Also took urgent leave when bb came. As yuli said, it is difficult to plan as the bb is the one deciding the timing and not you!
 
yuli
your bb girl is so healthy! 5 kg already! She is 1.5 month, right? My boy is taking about 2.5-3 oz. As for your work, it is good that your company is flexible. I am also wondering whether I should go for part time later but it is really difficult in Singapore.
Blesswbb and yuli
Do your bb still feed between 2.5 to 3 hrs? What about night feeds? Is it better now?
 
Hi Dream - sorry to hear you aren't well. Hope you get well quickly! Not sure if I told you ladies or not but 2 to 3 days (i forgot already) after we brought bb home, my husband tested positive for H1N1 while he was away for work then shortly after, I developed a fever, but no other symptoms. I was kiasu so I saw the doc (even tho I got no symptoms other than fever) and was put on Tamiflu and I wore the N95 mask while taking care of bb. That was her 1st week and half back home with us and it was stressful cos it was H1N1 and it was tiring not having enuff sleep and wearing an uncomfortable mask all the time. Thank God, bb was fine (and husband is now fine). So, hang in there, this time will pass and you'll be able to resume looking after bb and enjoying your time with him!

5kg healthy ah? She turns 2 mths next Fri. I dunno if the weight gain is too fast or not. Do you know how much weight babies are supposed to gain? I know it's sposed to be 1kg weight gain at first month but after that, I wonder what is the weight gain supposed to be like.

My bb feeds btwn 3-4 hours at 3.5 to 4oz. Lately, sometimes she will fuss and cry about 2hrs after a feed, which is why I think she's going through a growth spurt. When that happens, I give her another 2oz and she's happy.

Night feeds got btr for a while but now her pattern change again. I had to wake twice in the night for 4hourly feeds so about 1-2am and then again about 5-6am. But last two nights, she decided to wake up at 4ish then drink but don't want to go back to sleep. We're trying to work that out and are hoping it gets better!
 
Nicole, yes I went through Alice from Lotus and yes, her BC states she's Chinese from Malaysia but I am prepared if she doesn't look Chinese later on (their real color/looks will slowly take place and show through).

The reason I say this is cos we have a few friends who adopted what looked like fair Chinese babies (BC states Chinese) from Indonesia but now that they are 2 -6years old, it is obvious that they are of mixed parentage. One of the girls look eurasian, one looks malay/chinese and one looks tanned malay. So, we realise that what they look like as babies may not necessarily be their final skin color/look so we are prepared lah ;)
 
Yuli,
I can't imagine what you had to go thru. Somehow, it seems everything happens at the wrong time! My daughter first fell sick with 39 fever so we "quarantine" her and I was also "quarantined" with bb in another room. But somehow I still got her flu and my hubby too although we wore mask (but not the n95 mask). I am really worried bb develops fever since pd said that bb needs to be hospitalized right away if there is fever as he is so young.so, now staying put in my room and trying to sleep to recover fast. I wonder how you survived during that time. Not only physical stress but mental stress as well! Was hubby in Singapore or still overseas then? How long did it take you to recover? What about your hubby?

I am not sure how much your bb is supposed to weigh but seems healthy compared to my boy at 2.8 kg. Almost double his weight! 4-hr night is great! I guess your bb is confusing day and night. May be sleep too much during the day.
 
Hi Nicole,

I am starting a new job on Monday. I am a childcare teacher n this time round my heart not so work-oriented anymore..so I chin-chye find a job around my area..cuz I know Im goin to quit in less than a years time to adopt a baby. Meanwhile need to save up abit more first so that when baby arrives I can be off work for a few months n still be financially comfortable. My pay is not high..luckily my hubby earns more than 3X my salary otherwise how to adopt? And my dream of a complete family is to have 1 girl, 1 boy..so expensive lor..sigh
 
die
I think it is great that you are starting a new job! Will keep your mind occupied. And it seems that you have everything planned out. It is great that you are a child care teacher. I am sure it will be a big plus for your hsr.
 
Yuli

Yuli, your baby is so cute!!! I shudder when I read about how often you have to get up for the night feeds and so on but I just can't wait for my turn.

Dream

Glad to know that you have settled down fast and enjoying motherhood once again. I hope you are recovering now. Must be very stressful!

Die

Glad to know that you have found a job! Like Dream said it would be a big plus in your HSR. Wish I was working too but I'm not ready yet. I'll wait for the baby to come first then I will decide.
 
Okie will do some packing before the housevisit - Thx BlesswBB and Yuli.
BlesswBB - There will be 2 home visit ? One from officer in charge and another from MCYS ?
Will they call to tell us what time they are coming or will they do spot check ? I hope I did not miss any thing else in the HSR.

Yuli, Dream - take care of yourself.

Nicole - Yes, i know how you feel. Take your time. I took about 1.5 years before I took the leap of faith on adoption. There were a lot of struggles in me. Sometimes, you wonder why we have to go through the challenging route than others. I will tell myself for every roads we take it to realise our dreams of motherhood, it becomes all the more precious to me/us. Good luck to us dear.

I will be mute in this forum but will do the reading as this thread is moving real fast.
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Will pop a post when I hear from Touch this way we will know how long it takes. Anything else I should or not do, pls let me know. Thx U in advance.
 
Hi Dream,

take care and hope you get well soon.

Yuli,

think we really have no control over the actual race of baby. But I think the most important factor is whether you feel comfortable when u see baby and got "yuanfen" or not.

Many people say bb will look like the person who looks after him or her. So dun worry too much and thx for sharing.

Die,

good that you have found something to occupy your time and mind before embarking on adoption cos once you start you and ur hubby will be very busy. I think I told you b4 I was in preschool industry too, maybe bcoz of the love for young children that's why we chose this as our career. Understand that nowadays teachers are paid better bcoz of government support.

Anyway, if possible try to find time to go for short holiday b4 bb arrives, gives you some time to rejuvenate.

Btw, ladies I'll be going for a short break with my hubby so will not come online for a while but once I am back I will come back here to chat with u guys again. Meanwhile take care and enjoy life!
 
Dream , Janella,

Actually I have been teaching in childcare for 15 years alrdy and doing part time tutoring for primary levels. I have an advanced Diploma in Early Childhood Education and once I even had group tuition classes at my hse! I quit my job in May for IVF and it didnt work out..now I just accepted a principal job at a childcare centre near my place starting work on the 28th..so irony that all these years I look aft other pples' kids n never had one of my own.. Ya..I tink my profession is a plus pt when doing the HSR..Tks ;)
 
Nicole,
Enjoy your holidays! Where are you heading to?

Die,
Your new job sounds great and once bb is home, you will definitely be the best caregiver with all your experience
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Enjoy your break and holidays before your new job. You need it to refresh yourself and start fresh!

Hi Ladies,
Otherwise, I am still recovering. In the office today but still coughing and feeling a bit dizzy. Feeling really bad that I can't take care of my bb. I told my hubby that I wanted to take care of him tonight but my hubby don't agree. I know it is for bb's best interests but it is difficult. I just take a glimpse of him once in a while but can't carry him!
 
Dream, take vitamin C so thatyou can recover faster. You must heal fully so that you will have all it takes to take care of the baby later.

Yesterday, I saw an email from Touch 2 days ago, telling me that they are reviewing the HSR application forms and will set up an interview with me in 1-2 months time!! I'm so happy and I think I teared abit while reading. I don't mind that it's 1-2 months time because I can take time to be prepared mentally. I think Touch says 1-2 months time but might be shorter since they will just give the worst scenario.
Elle, you will receive an acknowledge email from Touch too, if you submit to them.
 
Iwantitvmuch, just to share, I also received that email from TOUCH abt the 1-2mth wait time then, to my surprise, I received a phone call from them to fix an interview date within that same week of the email. Then things moved along really fast after that!

So, sleep a lot now!!!!!
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iwantitvmuch,
Happy for you! So, not only you need to sleep a lot but boost your health with vitamins! seems like both Yuli and myself felt sick after bb came home...
 
iwantitvmuch,
The officer in charge are more concern whether there will be another care person around to help u when u not around. As long as yr mum in law is there to help then not to worry.
 
yuli,
how come so soon yr bb going for another jab? I tot on the 3rd mth then there will be another jab? My PD has put up a list of dates and mths for the jab. And the 2nd jab will be on Oct how come ur so fast?
 
elle,
yes there will be 2 home visit. The 1st home visit is for the HSR report. Once u have a baby at home...u need to go thru another home visit for court order from MCYS. MCYS will be more strict so i doubt if the home is not child friendly they will approve.
 
dream,
my bb only drink once at 3-4am. She will tend to wake up at 5am again but will give her pacifier and make her sleep again. At 7.30am, she will cry for another feed.
 
dream,
U take care...don take the risk of taking of yr bb now...u will wan him to be healthy rite...so be patience since there someone to help u....for me...i still hv to take care on my own even i was sick last week.....
 
Blesswbb,
That's really good. You have really trained your daughter well! How did you manage this? Do you still swaddle her at night?

All right, will try to be patient for the sake of bb health. I really hope I fully recover real fast. Are you feeling better now? BB, ok?
 
BlessBB - thx for the letting me know. Will start to do the spring cleaning now. If i don't start now, i will keep delaying.

Thx care of urself dream so u can quickly bao bao ur bb
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Good luck iwantitvmuch !!! This mean you will have the interview between now to oct. Wah ! my heart is beating kinda of fast with excitement for you. Can you tell me how it goes after tat if u r ok ?
I don't see any acknowlegement email from Touch yet last nite. Will check tonite when i go home from work.
 
dream,
I normally sleep very late. So the last feed will be at 11.30 to 12.30. And my bb don really like milk so instead of every 3hr feed she will drag to 4-5hr feed. That is how the 1 feed for nite time comes along. Sigh...actually i'm quite sad that she don like milk...i have prob with feeding her during the day too. I even gave her colic medicine just to make her drink milk. Aiya...i really donno what to do liao....really heartache when she don drink....

elle,
All the best to yr interviews.
 
Hi Blesswbb, strange hor, I also dunno why the PD suggested her 3rd jab to be during her 2nd month. Her jabs to date are: 1st jab, BCG & HepB 1st dose @ birth, 2nd jab, Hep B 2nd dose @ 1mth. Then he said to go back to him for the 5in1 jab during her 2nd month. hmmm.....must go ask around and see if got any difference as to whether jab earlier or later.

Did your daughter's PD say anything about her milk consumption? If her weight gain is on track, then should be okay, right? Maybe she just doesn't like the taste of the milk so far? Mine has been waking up about 4ish and then not wanting to sleep till 6ish. Trying to get her to go to bed later so that hopefully she can sleep til longer BUT hard to keep her awake.
 
ok ok, I will try to sleep well now and eat vitamins so that I will in the pink of health.

Elle, you are my buddy now. We'll keep each other updated on any happenings. Both you and hubby should be sent an email. My friend who is the referee has also received a letter on what she should write about us. Another friend is overseas so she will be receiving an email soon.
I'm so excited.

I'm now tidying the house, throwing away things and making room for the help whom we are going to hire and for baby's stuff!
 
Yuli,
Yr Pd is giving yr bb 5in1 jab? Mine did not suggest that... He list down the dates from 3rd to 5th mth she need to go thru those jabs. He also suggested giving Rotovin. I think mine is a individual jabs so will have to wait for the 3rd mth. Anyway, my PD is using the Health Booklet as the guide.
I did not bring her to PD for her milk advise and have not weigh her so far...wont know until the next jab. She basically doesnt even like to drink milk...she tend to struggle whenever feeding time. I think i have no choice to start solid food earlier. Mine is a pig like to sleep can go without milk...I let my little girl sleep at 9.30pm to 10.30pm so dat her waking up time is latest 9am. Does yr little girl sleep alot during noon? Try make her sleep more during noon time so that night time she can be more awake.
 
gm all !

iwantitvmuch my buddy too !
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Checked the emailbox of mine and hubby, no acknowledgment yet from Touch. Let's see this week then keep you posted. Hubby says may not be so fast, prob. at least 2 weeks time. For our friends as referee, is the letter with questionaire or will they have to write about us in general. Hehe..so we have to ask them to ask good things about us
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thx u blessbb.
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Elle, for the reference letter, Touch will provide some 7 pointers for your referee to write about you. We found two friends for both my husband and myself. They have to write about both of you. No, it's not a questionaire.
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Don't be too anxious about the acknowledgement. Everyone will receive it. Yours will come this week as you posted the package.
 
Hi everyone,
I apologise for barging into your conversation. I am desperately in need for some support. I have pulled the cart before the horse i.e identifying the baby first before HSR. That is why it's been quite an emotional journey for me.

My hubby and I planned to do our HSR with Tanjong Pagar Family Services and were about to file it today. But we heard that they take a long while. So now we are back to step 1. We are planning to go with Touch Family Services, and I have started filling their forms etc. Just wondering if you know the best place to do the medical screening. I look forward to your reply.
 
Ladies,

How did u make payment to the adoption agencies? By nets, personal cheque or cashier's check? Tks.

Hi babylove80,
From what I gather here, once u submit the HSR, u can have ur baby with u in less than 3 mths. How did u identify ur baby? Fr an agency or ur own contacts? The other ladies who have experience will advise u better here..dont worry. ;)
 
iwantitsomuch,

U must be so excited with all the preparations. I feel so excited jus fr reading ur posts. ;)
 
babylove80,
Welcome to this thread. Yr case is very complicated...why don u just go ahead with your HSR with Tanjong Pagar Family services? As what i know the other service centre will also take quite sometime. Since u have finished with the report with TPFS then u should stick to it and tell them yr concern. They will process base on case to case basis.
 
Hi everyone,
hehe... I've finally submitted my HSR today!! but Alice (touch) is on leave.

Blesswbb,
saw ur baby girl's videos, she's really very cute & Pretty! i like her expression!

Dream, hope you'll get well soon... and looking forward to see ur baby too!!

Yuli, wow ur baby girl is v pretty.... hope to see more post of her's photo

Hi gals, would like to check for the home interview what questions will they normally ask for our parents and in-laws?
 


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