Child Adoption

hello everyone.

The thread is moving fast and I am so glad.

iwantitvmuch and sweetcl05, send my cheque liao. See you both at the workshop in oct. Janella, you coming too for the disclosure workshop ?

Plus an email from touch last week that they will contact us in 2 weeks for the interview. Yes, yuli, you are spot-on.

Will they want to interview our parents or the one who will take care of our baby? Hope they can speak dialect otherwise my mum will not understand. Chicken and duck lah.

It is happening so fast. I was thinking they will only contact me like in 2 months time. Yesterday started early spring cleaning. so tired today.

I have been feeling nervous since and having been sleeping well. Really hope all goes well for the interview.

I have not mention to my boss yet abt my plan for adoption. May i ask when did you ladies mention to them.
 


Elle,
Great news! Very happy for you! Things are moving very fast and your bb should be in your arm pretty soon.

As for disclosing adoption plan to your boss, I guess it really depends on your boss character. For my case, I only told him when I had baby in my arm. I did not want to feel so stressed with having to update him. I think this is a very personal matter and hence, I felt no obligation to tell him. But of course, in terms of planning work, it may be better to give them some warning.

You also need to check whether your company grants adoption leave. For my case, nothing was stated and I had to check with HR after baby was here. So it was a bit stressful as I did not know whether they would grant me any adoption leave. So, you may want to tell them for planning purpose but may be you only tell them when your hsr is approved.

I dread going back to work next month. I wish I could get 2 months!
 
Dream, glad you could get time off. After BlesswBB's, i myself feel like taking time off from work after baby arrive, especially going to the office this morning. Probably mid to end of next year.

Elle, I did spring cleaning and cleared alot of rubbish yesterday! Now, I'm having backaches now. I am getting one of the room ready for nursery. A friend was going to lend me her baby's play pen over the weekend. I'm thinking of doing some simple decoration for the nursery and thinking of where to put up the window grills.
 
elle,
i din mention anything to my boss even until the day i resign. She got to know when i publish the news in Facebook. i was surprised that she is so happy for me.

iwantitvmuch,
U mean u taking unpaid leave for 1yr?
The ex-company offer me unpaid leave for 1yr but i rejected. Cos i wont know what will happen after a yr and by the time i want to resign will not be so good. So i rather resign, in actual fact i'm not so happy working there although have been working there for 19yrs.

dream,
My bb have been crying the whole day donno what happen. Tot she having colic but it seems like she getting naughty. Want me to carry her and walk around the house. I'm very tired with the crying.
 
Blesswbb, brought my dd for her 5in1 jab today and also took the pnuemococal (not sure of spelling) and rotavirus vaccinations as well. I actually wanted to only give her the 5in1 and then have the other 2 vacinations a few weeks later so that she won't have so many vacinations in a day but Doc said a few weeks not much difference so I gritted my teeth and subjected the poor baby to 2 jabs (one on each thigh) and the rotavirus was given orally. She cried abt 2 sec after the 1st jab went in. then looked a bit shocked and cried when the 2nd jab went in. I sayanged her and talked to her, trying to distract her then doc gave her the rotavirus orally through a syringe. She seemed to like the taste cos she stopped crying and just 'complained' instead of crying. M now monitoring for fever. Doc said maybe today or tomorrow may have slight fever. He gave liquid paracetamol. These jabs come in 3 doses (rotavirus has 2 doses) so the next jabs will be in 6 weeks time in Nov then again sometime in Dec.

Elle, happy for you that you received the email from TOUCH.

Ladies, I also did massive spring cleaning while waiting for interviews etc. I cleared quite a lot of space for bb and once bb was home, that space was very very quickly taken up by her things!

Re: interviewing parents/parents in law. I live with my parents (my parents in law have passed on) so they interviewed them as well as my helper. I think they will interview whoever you indicate will be your other caregiver.

Re: gossip. I was bracing myself for uncomfortable qns esp from the kapo relatives but I was amazed and thankful and touched that everyone was soooooooooo happy for us. I had one or two aunties who asked how much I paid and I just answered, she's priceless! haha. But they actually asked cos they have children - my cousins - who also have not conceived. Like Blesswbb, I posted our adoption news in FB and the response was really encouraging. When we brought her to church the first time, everyone wanted a piece of her. We received so many gifts from church members that we didn't even know very well! Everyone was just really happy for us cos maybe they know that we have been trying for so long and we finally have a daughter in our lives. So, Leobaby, don't worry too much about gossipers
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Die, I'm so glad you have been keeping track of the submission dates of HSRs cos I'm getting lost! Just for your info, in case you are interested, my adoption milestones are as follows: submission of HSR: 18 May; First email from TOUCH 2 ask for more details from us: 8 June; 2nd email from TOUCH to fix interview date: 10 June; Interview @ TOUCH office: 19 June; Home Visit Study: 2 July; Day HSR was approved: 14 July. I think I'm gonna put all these milestones into dd's lifebook.

Blesswbb & Dream, have you started on your children's lifebook? I bought one from TOUCH when I went for their disclosure talk but haven't started on it yet. Been wanting to print photos to put in but havent had chance.
 
iwanitvmuch,
would be great if you can take off for 6-9 months. Really feel unfair that the government recommends only one month of adoption leave while maternity leave is 4 mths. I also have colleagues who took more than 4 months as they were stopped one month before. Don't know whether I will have courage to go back to work but now have 2 mouths to feed! One of my colleague is working 4 out of 5 days. I am wondering whether I should ask for that but I am worried that the work will be the same but squeezed in 4 days and with lower pay and leave!

Blesswbb
also been working for 15 years and really tired of working. 19 years in one place is really long. Your tolerance level must really be high! Too bad they did not retrench you during crisis! Otherwise you would have got quite a hefty sum. My ex-colleague got retrenched after working 18 years in the same company. The good thing is that she managed to get another job real fast so it is like she strikes lottery!

Otherwise, read that you can't spoil baby until 6-9 months.

Yuli
you are right! After bb is here, his stuff is now all over the place. Started a small baby book but it is a general book. Does the book you have is on adoption?
 
elle,
Congrats! u are a step nearer... Hope I'll be the next to rec'd touch's email soon, hehe...
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iwantitvmuch & Elle,
Looking forward to see you gals at the Disclosure Talk...

Blesswbb, dream & yuli,
Thanks I really learn alot of tips abt taking care of bb from this forum.

I don't intend to tell my boss, I'm working in very small company, don't think they'll give me 1 month adoption leave...
 
Yuli,

Thanks for ur adoption milestones ;)
I started 1st day of work at my own branch today.
When I'm ready to adopt a baby around July next year, I haven even work 1 year at this new company. So I think I will request for 2 mths unpaid leave. If they reject, then quit la! ;) In the meantime of cuz I will put effort into my work to show my value to the company and my bosses. I dont even dare to think of asking for adoption leave. Sure cannot one hor..
 
yuli,
Thanks for giving the details on the jabs. Most likely i will not give her rotavirus. I have asked my ex colleague whether is it necessary, she said she did not give her children that. Furthermore, my hubby is also against the idea of giving a child with so many jabs and medication. Especially this is optional. As for the pnuemococal, is it optional? and what is that for?
Since the next jab she's going to have fever then i will wait till she's 3mth old. She just started to take her milk i'm worried once she has fever she will reject her milk again. Cant bear to see her loose weigh...very heartache.
As for the lifebook, i'm going to create it in a blog as her lifebook instead...in future will let her see.

dream,
I was hoping to get retrench during year 2002 but too bad. Think i'm too good for the job...hahaha (thick skin) U know what? I'm still their free consultant. They still call up to check on things.
 
Dream, I don't think I will take 6-9 months off work. It will be very difficult to come back. I rather work for one more year and take time off and leave the job. Job is abit stressful for me.

Die, my adoption mile stones are : submitted HSR on 25th and received first email from Touch on 2nd Sept. Friends received the emails from Touch on the writing of reference letters. On 17th Sept, I received an email to schedule for office interview which will be on the 28th September.
Glad I wrote these down. I will keep a lifebook soon.
 
Sweetcl05,
Great that my questions to Yuli and Blesswbb benefit others!

As for adoption leave, it is quite a challenge to get it although it is only one month. Who will be the caregiver? remember to save all your leave...

Seems like 3 of u will have a small gathering at the Disclosure worshop. Enjoy the gathering!

Blesswbb,
Will most likely follow Yuli's vaccination to have the 5 in 1 and the rotavirus and pneumoccal. Blesswbb, may be you check with Dr and decide later. I think these vaccinations are good so you may be you just have them later.

blog as a lifebook will be a great present. Have you decided which blog you will use. I am also wondering whether i should create one.

yes, agree that you were too good for your job! Are you planning to go back to work when bb is older or just enjoying SAHM?
 
yes, I am excited. I hope to get approval soon. This morning, I've just received the baby play pen and bath tub and some baby stuff from my best friend.
 
Blesswbb, the pnuemococal vaccine is the one that was reported in the newpapers last week - the one which MOH is now making that vaccine compulsory for all babies to have. Actually I'm like you! I want to only give her the minimum vaccination, ie, the types of vaccines we received as children BUT after reading the newspaper article now it's compulsory so no need to think, heheh.

Oh, I was very very happy to read that your daughter started drinking so well! From not enjoying her feeds to drinking 5oz at a go is fantastic! You must have been estatic that day! Hope she's drinking well now. Wanna ask you, do you take her out much? I haven't brought my dd out much, only to airport to send her papa off and to ikea! Now that she's had her vaccination, I would like to bring her out more but am afraid to do it all on my own. But it's something which I need to manage sooner or later.

iwantitvmuch, it feels a lot more real when you start to have baby stuff in your home, right?
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Happy for you.

Dream, yes a lifebook is usually associated with adoption. The one I got from TOUCH is designed and worded by a Singaporean adoptive mum. The lifebook is slightly different from regular baby books cos our children's journey to us is different. It helps them see, later, that, although we didn't carry them in our tummies, we carried them in our hearts, long long long before they were home with us
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There are also spaces in the book for photos eg: 1st day we met, 1st day home, 1st day with mum&dad/grandparents etc.

Die, hope you enjoy your time at your new workplace. Yah lah, just take it as it comes lah.
 
Yuli, U R spot on. After receiving the baby stuff, it feels more real. I think that's what my best friend was trying to do.

BlesswBB,Yuli and Dream, hope the babies will stop crying. In any case, I will remember this thread and see what you all gone through when my baby cry. How I wish time will fly even though i know I will be losing sleep. hee hee
 
iwantitvmuch, you must reread what you just posted when you have baby in your arms and you are sleep deprived! hahahaha.....

It just occurred to me that many of our babies will be born in the same year. It'll be nice for them to have each other as playmates
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dream,
i wanted to have the jabs Doc recommended but is still up to my hubby to decide. He always thinks that Singapore babies are too well protected by all these jabs. He still believe that the child should still hv their immune system to fight all the devils. Anyway, my hubby will be going to bring bb for the jab so i'm hoping Doc will try to persude him to get the jabs.
As for going back to work, I have a job standby which will be a freelance job. I'm considering going back to work once bb is 1yr old or if my ivf is successful i might extend to 2yrs so hopefully the job can wait. If not, i will be looking around for part time job. So afraid of stress job now.
 
Dream,
My mum-in-law will be taking care of baby when we're working. I've been thinking whether to leave this company cos very stressful everyday. Hope to be like Blesswbb, SAHM... hehe...
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yuli,
can i check how much is the total cost of the jabs?
Oh ya...she likes going out. I bring her out most of the days. Cos mummy also cannot stay at home haha. During weekdays, I will bring her to my cousins house or even out for dinner. During weekends, we either bring her out shopping or temple...she a Star when she at the temple. Everyone loves her and wil take turns to carry her. I think u should bring her out more often as she is starting to recognise pple. This is the time when she will cry if she sees stranger. If u keep her too often at home she will be afraid of stranger.
 
iwantitvmuch,
wow...very excited for u. U must be very excited too especially with the baby stuff at home. U feel like u pregnant and baby is due soon right?

SWEETCL05,
Can imagine those stressful days at work...i can imagine during the years working in my ex-company sometimes coming home crying. Does yr company gives unpaid leave? Maybe can request for a short break...maybe 6mths.
 
hahaha, yes indeed. I feel like my baby is due soon. We even have a name already! That came about when we were casually thinking and my hubby really like a particular name. Since then, he is pretty much set on his mind.

Oh, my hubby can't take time off work on monday. so, we brought the interview forward to Friday morning instead. I better start going through what i wrote.
 
Iwantitvmuch, 2 more days! Do u noe who yr assesor is? I think itz usually the person who contacted u. So nice, got name already. U plannimg on girl or boy?

Blesswbb, my aunt also says wat u ssid but bks n websites I hv read all say stranger anxiety doesn't set in till 6-7mths but u r rite, they do definitely recognize pp now. Anyway, I believe bringing them out is definitely gd since they will b exposed 2 new sights,sounds,smells, gd 4 development.

i 4got 2 mention that paed mentiond i shld put my dd on her tummy more 4 her 2 strengthen neck n back muscles. I go find receipt 4 jabs n let u noe.
 
Iwantitvmuch,
1 more day to go. I think Friday is great. People are usually more relax and then, you will be able to enjoy your week end! Don't stress too much...otherwise, your best friend is really nice. I am also using playpen right now. It is quite useful but I think at the rate he grows, I may have to buy a cot soon...

If I remember correctly, you are planning for a boy, right? If that's the case, my boy will have a playmate
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It is great that you found a name. It took us quite a while to settle on a name!

Yuli,
Do you know where can I find this lifebook? Is it only available at Touch? how much did you pay for it? Otherwise, there is a nice US website concentrating on adoption matters/books. I think it is called tapestry.

How big is your daughter now? Is her neck strong? I guess I have to wait another 1.5 month before starting him on his tummy.

May be you can start to take her out by bringing her to the park at 5-6 pm.

Blesswbb,
Hope the Dr will manage to convince your hubby and I guess the battle is half won since the pneumoccol is now compulsory! When did you start bringing your girl out? So far, my bb boy has not stepped out of the house except for Dr's visit!

Enjoy your one year break! Really envy you! I think I could get used to it too!

Ladies,
BTW, my bb is one month old today! He grew quite a fair bit. He was 2.8kg at birth and now is 4 kg. Bought the cakes from sweetmoments, the place that Blesswbb recommended. Have not tasted the cakes yet but presentation is really nice. Thanks again Blesswbb for giving me the link. You should ask them for a referral fee!

Sweetcl05,
I also wish to be at SAHM like Blesswbb! It is good that your in laws are willing to take care.
 
iwantitvmuch, 1 more day! 1 more day! All the best! Don’t drink too much water, the toilet must use key to enter type – very leh cheh, hahaha!
Dream – congrats on your boy’s 1mth!! Hey, 1.2kg weight gain in the first month is fantastic! Babies are sposed to gain 1kg by their 1st month. You’re doing great, mummy!
My dd is 5.8kg and 59cm long at 10 weeks (3kg @ birth, 4.25kg at 1mth). I’m worried that she’s putting on too much weight! But paed says she’s okay.
i paid $20+ for the lifebook. When I bought it at the disclosure talk, it had just come straight off the press. I don’t know if it’s available now at bookstores or not. Alternatively, try calling TOUCH to see if they can tell you where else to buy it? Actually ah Dream, don’t need to get the lifebook lah, actually any book that you create yourself with your own personal touch will be yours and your son’s lifebook, right? If you are into scrapbooking then create a scrapbook of memories for him? I’m not creative type, that’s why decided to buy the lifebook. Also, the lifebook has nice wordings in there (that talk about how we looked forward to having bb in our lives etc) and I not so clever with penning nice words so buy the lifebook lor. Sound very lazy hor?
 
iwantitvmuch, it's so wonderful with the nursery preparation. Yah, better put window grills as this is baby friendly.

thx yuli for mentioning wat is lifebook as I was abt to ask.
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blessbb, dream - i understand how u both feel. Tot I worked in my co. for abt 9 years, I am also tired of working and 'fire-fighting'. The stress is so high esp. during project and while I was on ivf. I want to volunteer also for golden handshake but not likely. However, still work now lah to keep me occupied.

hehe, agree with BlesswBB, we also hv about 9 mths starting from preparing the HSR, interview, baby arrival.

BlesswBB - Take care and all the best on the ivf.
iwantitvmuch - jia yu for the interview !
 
iwantitvmuch,

Thanks for ur statistics n dates. All the best for ur interview n keep us updated,ok? I want the details to be mentally prepared when my time comes. ;)
 
Blesswbb, Yuli & Dream,
I've been surveying for baby's strolley, any idea which brand is gd?
I saw alot of ppl using Combi brand... Are u gals using tat too?
 
iwantitvmuch,
wah..that's great baby has a name already. We took sometime choosing her name. Especially I have problem reading chinese character. So u intend to have a boy?

Yuli,
I have tried tummy rest recently for her but she doesnt like it. She will cry after 5mins. But i will try to make it more often so that it will strengthen her neck and back. I will be bringing my dd for her jabs this Sat. I feeling the heartache for her liao
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So did yr dd develop fever after the jabs? Did u give her anything b4 going for the jabs? I heard some pple gave their bb some "liang" drinks so that bb will not have fever. I asked my mum but she said don need as not all babies will have fever.
Talk abt recognise pple, my girl will respond when she sees her daddy especially when he's back from work.
U should bring her out often. My girl likes to see the lightings when we out shopping. She will look at pple and things surrounding her. U will know that she's learning.
I think my girl put on more leh. When she's at 8weeks she already 5.2kg 61cm. Don worry as long she doesnt look obese.

Dream,
I know pneumoccol is now compulsory. That is y i heartache cos my girl going thru 2 jabs this coming Sat. As for rotavirus, i think he will reconsider abt it.
Oh ya...congrats on yr boy 1mth old. He really grow quite abit. U have done well.
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I started to bring my girl out when she's 3week old. I can't wait to show her to everyone so i bring her to cousins place.
So have you tasted the cakes? No bad right?

elle
Hi, have u received yr interview date? Ya lor just work for the time being till yr bb here then decide. The time i resign is just the right time when my bb is in my arms.
Thanks praying hard for the ivf to be successful.
 
SWEETCL05,
yes i'm using that brand. Not bad as the front wheels are very flexible and can keep easily will just a hand lift. Think mine cost abt $290.
 
Hi iwantitverymuch,

I am thinking of you today. I pray the interview goes smoothly for you. Good LUCK!!!

Do tell us how you went.

I am still waiting for my email from TOUCH...waiting very anxiously. I calculated based on the milestones some of you shared. I think the earliest I will get the approval of my HSR is Nov 09. I am so sad that my bb will have to be in Malaysia till then, but I know that he is well taken care of.
 
sweetclo5, I was advised that best thing is to bring bb to try out stroller - i also dunno why leh. Also strollers for 6mths and onwards is much cheaper than strollers meant for newborns and up. We inherited an Aprica pram from my SIL which we used initially then recently we got a Quinny.

blesswbb, yes I wil definitely be bringing her out more now. I was apprehensive to bring her out much initally cos she hadn't been immunised yet so I limited her outings. Re:tummy time, she also can only 'tahan' for about 5min then will go eh eh eh. I brought out a tummy time mat for her ytd and she seemed to stay longer on her tummy cos probably there are things to see on the mat (hers is a garden theme mat with ladybugs and flowers....and PINK). Wah, eh, your baby is big and growing nicely wat, you really ddin't need to worry about her not drinking milk etc lah.

babylove80, do you go in to visit bb occasionally? Hopefully, TOUCH will expedite your approval quickly!!!
 
Yuli,
I am not the creative type either! I don't think I will buy another book since I already bought a bb book. There is only a portion that is not suitable as it talks about the resemblance of baby to the family. May be I will try to replace that page with some of the milestones you mentioned. But if I knew about that book, I would have definitely bought that book! I think it will make it easier to talk about adoption later on (but then can't really show the book to the bb until you had that adoption discussion).

Your bb is doing great too. It must be tiring to carry her now!

Blesswbb,
Seems like although you bb girl was fussy, she is still growing very well. So, don't worry too much.

So, you are the active type! can't stay home! My hubby is the same. Always like to go out on week ends. When did your bb girl start recognising people? I don't think my bb boy can do it yet. Is it normal? Yuli, what about you?

my friends like the packaging very much. no feedback on the food yet! but i guess no news is good news!

blesswbb and yuli,
is it necessary to bring bb for 1 month check up? seems like i only need to go during the 2nd month for jabs. his phlegm/blocked nose is still quite bad, especially at night.

sweetcl05
I bought lucky baby stroller meant for newborns and baby is fully protected in case of rain. the stroller can be used in 2 directions: front or back. I also liked the colour very much (dark blue and turquoise)...but take your time before buying as I have not used it yet! I was also very lost before buying but you have to decide what is important for you. Easy to open/close? weight? newborn stroller? stable wheels? enjoy shopping! Otherwise, Combi is a safe choice.

babylove 80,
i can imagine how you feel! one day may seem an eternity. who is taking care of bb now? otherwise, do you manage to visit him/her? BTW, did you go thru agency? otherwise, you must make sure that the natural parents have signed off the necessary papers.

iwantitvmuch
yes, keep us updated and you have our mental support.
 
Yuli,
I hv a tummy mat too. Hmmm....will try that. Thanks for the advise. Initially was worried abt her not drinking milk as I can feel her fresh soften and not so active. But now, she ask for milk even the time is not up yet. Now worried she will be over weight haha. Both me & hubby can't carry her long as our muscle aches.
 
Dreams,
My girl start recognizing pple after 2 mths. So don worry. At yr boy age he just started to see things around him so it is best to have musical toys that moves. He will be very curious with things with sound & movement. I tot there is a 1mth jab that is the 2nd jab for hep B, has he taken that jab?
Oh yes I'm the active type. Will just carry my girl out alone to visit my friends. I just can't stay at home the whole day.
 
Blesswbb,
Should come and visit me then! I am staying in the West! Are you around my place?

Don't have musical toys that move! Just putting music on...is that enough?

Otherwise, seems like he needs to be carried all the time. Can't put him down as he will start crying...I think it is bcoz of his cold. Can't really breath well when he lies down. He is now sleeping on the rocker at night!

He has not taken the 2nd jab. Will call PD to check again. Thanks.

I guess parents always worry...now, worry about overweight!!! your girl must be saying..."mummy asks me to drink milk, I drink milk and now she is scared I am over weight...so hard to please!" ")
 
Ladies,
Finished my 3 hours interview this morning and just got into the office at 1pm. I'm surprise time passed by so fast while we were being interviewed. When she asked what was the most difficult period of my life, I said the period when I was trying to conceived and I started tearing. So embarrassing!!
I don't think I gave politically correct answers all the time, just speak my mind and be frank. They asked how we would treat our biological child(if we conceive) and the adopted one . I can only say that we will try our best to treat them equally but at the same time be sensitive to their feelings. We can't be totally fair and can't treat them totally equal since they have different backgrounds. We can only try to be equal. I can't even wrote properly what I think. But you get what I mean, right? I think, most of the time, they want us to think about the long term and in the future, so that we will be prepared.
She hasn't set the home interview yet, probably 2-3 weeks as she might be travelling. Does that mean we will not pass??
 
dream,
Yes i'm staying at the west. At Jurong West near where Alice stay. Hmmm.....mayb can drop by with my little girl
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Why i suggest musical toys that move cos u be able to see his development. Base on the health book, infant from 4-6weeks be able to focus object that moves. Using the musical toys will help them develop focusing earlier.
Yr boy really poor thing leh...i suggest u give him more water to help to loosen the mucus. It may be caused by heaty stomach. Try not to blow the fan directly on him it will make him more uncomfortable.
Actually i'm really angry with the natural parents cos i find that once the parents decided to give away their child they did not really eat healthly for the sake of the child. That cause the child so uncomfortable.
Ya i agree...especially mothers...worried here and there. Haha...
 
iwantitvmuch,
I understand what you mean and i think it is a fair statement. We all try our bests and i am sure there are no right or wrong answers. so, don't worry too much. I guess she did not set your home interview because of her own private schedule. So, now, just enjoy the week end. Treat yourself and dont dwell too much on what was said. I am sure you did well.
 
Blesswbb,
yes, please stop by if you have time but it will have to be next week as i am going back to work after that. but i feel Alice's place is quite far from my place so i think it could be difficult for you. I will PM you my address.

hope he will feel better soon. really stressful! i never thought about what you said. makes me wonder too now...
 
iwantitverymuch,

You have given it your best shot. You know what, I am sure the SW would have interviewed 100s of couples with different backgrounds with different answers.

Whatever answers you gave, seems very real to me, and it only reflects the real situation, which I think a lot of us would face in the future when we decide to have another chid of our own. Thing is, we won't know how we will react until we come face to face with the situation.

I think being honest and real is very important. That's how I plan to be for my interview. And I am sure she will get back to you regarding your home interview, once she is back. Based on the milestones, your home visit should be in abt 2 weeks. Happy spring cleaning!
 
Hi Dream and Yuli,

Baby is in Malaysia under the care of a nanny whom we know. We visit him every weekend, because I cannot not visit him. He turns 4mths this sunday. I never knew I could fall in love with a little soul so fast. I think he recogises me and my hubby, but am sometimes afraid when I think that he might one day cry when he sees us.

I am looking forward tothe day we can bring him back for good.

I am unsure if Touch can expedite the process, but I know that there are other adoptive parents ahead of us, who will want to have their little ones in their arms soon. So strangely, knowing this, I feel that I should wait, as long my HSR gets approved.
 
Dream,

not sure if you have heard of Sinupreet. It's the only med that has managed to losen my bb's mucous (but do check wif ur ped). Also cupping the back softly with your hands as if you are burping him will also help to relieve the phleghem. Hope this helps.
 
iwantitvmuch, congrats on clearing your 2nd hurdle! Aiyoh, donch worry lah! They will call you to fix your home visit – wah, I thought I am a worrier, you lagi big worrier! Hahaha.

Re: answering the interview qns. I think you did well. There are no right and wrong answers in parenting. We just try our best. As adoptive parents, we will have more issues that we need to grapple with compared to biological parents but I believe that we were chosen for this position and we will be good for our children!

Re: crying/tearing at the interview. Dont worry, I know of many people who have teared when they were asked the “how did you cope with your fertility issues or your loss/miscarriage”. Initially, I grumbled a lot at having to fill up the extensive paperwork (23pages, right?!) but as I reflected and wrote down my answers and then had to dig dipper and answer them during the interview, I became thankful at the opportunity cos it gave me a chance to address issues/hurts and to really think and analyse and prepare myself for what is to come. Like dream says, go enjoy your weekend, you deserve it!

Dream/blesswbb, so nice, you guys may be able to meet up and swop stories and the babies can play. I stay far far far away from you guys leh (hougang). I will wait for iwantitvmuch, sweetclo5, babylove, elle and janella’s babies to come then we arrange a meetup!

Dream, i don’t really know what recognise people means but my dd will smile if anyone of the family members go up to her and smile. Lately, she has been quite ‘chatty’. She will coo and oh and ah when we talk to her. Eg: my dad asked her if she’d like to go to the library, which books will she like, etc etc etc and she just looked intently at him and oh and ah at different intervals. Really cute, it’s as though she was in a real conversation with him. So, yes, she recognises us cos she gives us a bright smile when we poke our face in front of her BUT she is fine if it’s a face she doesn’t recognise cos she started ‘chatting’ with the nurse and the doc when she went for her jabs the other day. She doesn’t recognise them but she ‘talked’ to them too  Maybe she’s just kapo! Re: musical toys, my dd has a mobile above her cot of butterflies and bees and she loves them! I call them her friends cos she will lie in bed and have ‘conversations’ with these insects! BUT if you have music in the background and you are playing with him with a toy (that has no music), then it’s fine, kinda the same. It’s just that with the mobile, it buys me some time to wash/ sterilise bottles or just to pee! When I was trying to conceive, I used to fantasize by going to this website to look at gestational stages but now I go into this site to look at baby development. I find that it’s quite useful especially the games/activities that we can play with our babies at each stage.

Sharing this with all the mummies-to-be! http://www.babycenter.com/baby
 
Hi babylove, that's really sweet of you to think that. Must be hard on you to only get to see him once a week but I'm glad for you that bb is in Malaysia and not in a far away place. He must be really cute now at 4mths!
 
Dream, forgot to mention that when I brought bb for her pre-adoption medical chkup, I was told by the pd to bring bb back for her 2nd hepatitis jab when she turns 1 mth old. Her 1st hepatitis jab was given at birth in Malaysia.

Since baby isn't well now, you might wana push the jab to later. I understand that some mummies give their babies a 6in1 (that means it's the 5in1 plus the hep B) during their 2nd mth.
 
babylove,
Thanks for advice. will check on the medicine.

It must be tough for you but you are really positive and as you said, all the people in the queue are as eager/impatient as you! I hope bb is nearby so you don't spend too much time travelling. How did you get to know the bb sitter? Your bb is a boy too? How big is he now? Have you applied his passport already?

Otherwise, I also wonder how we can fall in love so easily with our bb. The first time I saw him, I loved him right away. I would always remember that precious moment and as the saying says, our bbs did not grow in our tummies but in our hearts!

Yuli
waiting for that moment when my boy can recognize us and "talk" to us.
 
iwantitvmuch,
Don worry too much. When i was going thru adoption i did ask a few of my colleagues of what they think. They said even as biological parents they do sometimes hv favoristism. Some prefer their daughter than their son. If they even ask again in the home visit, u should tell them that.

babylove,
It must be hard on u...travelling every weekend just to be with him and cant bring him home. The day will come when u visit him and time to go home without him.....he will start crying. Hope u will get yr HSR approval soon. U will feel heartache if this happen.
 


dream,
Is yr place there MRT station? If nearby the station it will be easier for me to drop by.

Yuli,
Cant wait for these ladies here to hv their babies in their arms so that we can meet up. Think it will be very noisy as both mummies and babies will be chatting...haha
 
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