(2012/06) Jun 2012

loshita, ya.. hopefully won't be too crowded.. The new M'sian check point is a great improvement from the previous.. at least it's air-conditioned and more spacious. Actually my tummy is sticking out quite a bit now.. esp if I wear tighter fitting clothes.. hehe..

Your hubby sounds like mine.. also don't like to tell his mum much so in the end MIL always tried to find out stuff from me, but I'll always guard my mouth :p She always liked to tell each son what's going on with the others, and my hubby didn't like that. It's like comparing each son's achievements and so on.

Joeey, If my kid is a daughter, I probably will let her stay on at home since girls are more vulnerable outside. But I don't mind if she wants to move out also.

You're right about not having 2 tigress under the roof. I'm glad I never lived with my ILs lor.. cos I'll go crazy if have to live with MIL cos we're both strong-headed.
 


Nattan ~ ya..you better becareful travelling back to MS during festive holiday sure vy crowded de...No choice u better follow your BIL...Maybe u can call your gynae to chck whether you can bring forward the appt to tomor?

Jul ~ Thanks for your advise. I will definitely ask my gynae on my next visit. Hopefully, the itchness can stop or reduce. If not, I will look like a scatching monkey during CNY..kekeke
 
bubblyval

U're welcome
happy.gif
I hope it's just dry skin which can be solved by moisturising.

Gal moving out

Er.. I won't allow my gal, if I have one, to move out before marriage haha. As for boys, they can do whatever they like, but pls move out after marriage! I prefer to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
 
BubblyVal, yeah.. I hope BIL can ferry us la.. but I don't want to "mian qiang" cos we're not close and I hate to have to depend on other people for favours. I don't want to bring forward my appt cos I have lots of things to do before the CNY break as I will be on 2 days' leave on the 3rd and 4th day of CNY.
 
Smone once tld mi tat even whn we hv children, we shld always put our spouse as priority n treat thm well. Thn our children will also grow up well. I thot it maks sense. trying vry hard to do tat, but it i kind of hard cos I also giv priority to my #1. :p

Our children whn thy grow up...
I will lik to live w thm til thy get married n hv their own family. n mayb occasionally sty w thm for a day for bonding. Personally, i don't wan2 burden my children whn I get old n will lik to b financially independent. Bt I will still instil filial values to thm n will stil b glad if thy willingly giv mi pocket $ once a while.
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Last time whn I was still working, I dreamt of leaving behind a property for each of my child. thn realise its nt so practical cos may cause disputes n things. Nw tat I m a sahm, I hope to leave behind $500k for each of my child. i didn't share w hubby abt my dreams, bt I m secretly working towards tat goal...pinching watever $ i cn fr my hubby for the purpose.
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hehe you are so cute Chris!!

Yup you are absolutely right, my hubby always say although we have kids now, I am still his #1 priority..and i feel that when me and hubby treat each other as 1st priority, my kids will grow up knowing how to treat their partners nicely also.. most likely their relationship will be like ours, hehee 11 years together and no quarreling at all =).. although we have to suffer for now but once kids are independent, we can enjoy our life again and we still have a life long time together mah..

plus i have 2 boys, by the time they go in to army, and graduate from school, that's it, our job is done and i wish by then we sell our condo, prepare downpayment for them both to own their own HDB flat, then we both move to a small unit and enjoy our "er ren shi jie"..

so at least they won't need to worry about how to get married without a house.. but for the loan they have to settle on their own then.. cuz last time my parents helped us pay for our hdb downpayment and it really helped a lot lor.. so i want to do the same for my kids.. we dun need their $$ and i won't look after grandchildren unless my dils request me to do so, even my sons ask also no use, only if dils can accept my help then i will help lor.. if not then hopefully by not asking allowance from them, they can afford maid to help out, and i dun mind going over to their place to supervise the maid, wahaha.. but i will never want to have their house keys.. although we give our house key to my in laws.. but i know privacy is so impt and if given a choice of course i rather dun give them the key, LOL...

wah think too far liao, haha..
 
Wah felicia! Envy u leh. No quarrels arh? Ever since I had #1 we quarrel quite often cos I hv high standards in the way we upbring our boy. N nt to mention I m no longer my hubby's priority nw either. :p The place has bn taken ovr by my boy. hahaha.:p I hope to change tat sm day. Tats gonna b my new yr resolution.
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Oh, ur hubby so sweet leh. Wish mine cn b lik tat too. Later whn he comes hm fr work I ask him who is his priority nw...hahah..:p

Helping our kids w downpayment is an excellent idea! Mayb I cn work towards tat too.
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Haha...digging more $ fr hubby.
 
haha yup Chris, i always say maybe because i am 4 years older than him, so less conflicts, but after all he is a super patient guy, no temper at all so guess i am just lucky lah..

but he got no patience with my boy de lor, will scold and spank type, but i dun bother, as long as he is disciplining him, i dun interfere.. i am super patient with my boy though and hubby also let me give in to him every time.. like that nothing to quarrel lor cuz we respect each other on our own ways we handle our kids.. hehee..

i know deep in my heart, my son is of same priority as my hubby already, but i just treat hubby the same way as before so he still can feel my love lor.. and my son always say daddy i love you, mummy i love you and kiss us because that's what we do frequently at home.. let him feel the love lah so he will show us his love towards us also although he's only 2 and half years old.. i am sure he understands and the habit of showing his love and care to others, will follow him for life de..
 
felicia > wat abt hubby's negligence while taking care of ur kids? Does it ever happen? Cos my hubby is quite gd at tat. he will always tell mi he forget, nvr thot of tat n blar blar balr.
 
yup Chris, happens all the time, esp when he's busy playing his game in front of his computer, but i won't say anything de, wait till he play with my boy, i will remind him how impt it is to spend time with kids.. and he will promise me not to neglect us next time lor..

but it always happens again and again, haha that's normal lah, in my life i've only seen one daddy who is better than the mummy in terms of taking care of kids, that's my father, LOL..

my hubby is always willing to help but he just doesn't really know what to do and how to do it, so share with him and let him pick up slowly lor.. just lower the expectation and remind myself, he is a guy after all, as long as he's trying his best, that's great enough!

always give and take, sometimes i also go for shopping and leave my boy to him alone, and he never complain either mah.. hehee
 
One mountain cannot have two tigress, i say one mountain cannot have two virgos. I'm super driven mad by my fil today.

We just went home after going for a trial class, and the principal happened to be my hubby's ex jc mate. I want to send my son there. My hubby is won over the moment he saw his friend, but my fil was screaming at him that he would never bring my son down to the school bus.

I'm super mad. What's wrong with taking sch bus? I had to beg him through my hubby to bring my son to another sch, and he vehemently refused. Then now he is sort of willing to take cab to bring him to that sch, but not willing to bring him down to the sch bus.

Both of us are born on the same day and we are extremely critical people. My husband thinks we are both stubborn, but i had already given in so many times and i never ever showed black face or retorted. I'm freaking angry.

I've never seen my son eat so nicely and tidily on his own before until today, where he sat quietly and ate from a bowl.

I don't want to drag this because there is only one seat left on the bus!

How i wish i can get off work early and no need to depend on him. I feel like getting a maid immediately and not let my son live with them on weekdays.
 
glass,
why is your fil negative towards kids taking the school bus ? is it because of safety reasons ? there's a bus auntie who will look after the kids and every kid has to wear a safety belt. if he takes taxi, gotta depend on the weather, the availability, need to spend more time travelling, maybe explain to him the pros of kids taking school bus ?
 
Glass, did your FIL explain why he doesn't want to let your son take the school bus? Maybe you can ask your MIL or ask him when he cools down? But it he's willing to take a cab, can't he send your son to the school you prefer?

Chris, wow set aside $500K for each child? I don't even know if I'll have enough to retire on :p Right now I only live a day at a time by the grace of God. Then again, when my kids are old enough to be independent, hubby and I hope to retire back in M'sia where the pace of life is slower and we can afford a real house. Maybe by then can sell our flat to give our kids some money. But I don't want to plan too far ahead. As some wise man said "ren2 suan4 bu4 ru2 tian1 suan4".. I'll leave it to God to direct me
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Felicia, hmm my hubby is also a gamer.. hopefully he will know how to prioritise when baby comes..

As for prioritising spouse over kids, I think that's very important. My belief is that a family cannot be happy unless the parents are happy first. Frankly, I didn't grow up in a very happy family. I think cos my mum was a very career-minded person and she sort of neglected me when I was growing up (until secondary school when she became a SAHM but it's too late). So that caused a lot of conflict between her and my dad, cos she was always OT-ing, to the extent that I only see her very late at night when I should be sleeping. So now I always tell myself, that no matter what, I have to put my hubby and kid first, never my career. If I can, my wish is to be a SAHM and my priority is to make sure my hubby has a warm and cosy home to return to everyday. Hopefully my wish will come true some day...
 
nattan > tats only my dream lor. I believe whn i hv a bigger dream, i cn attain more. :p bt i tink felicia's idea is more realistic n gd too. I m smone who cant live by the day. I nd to plan ahead. Whn i had my 1st preggy, i bgt 2 policy. 1 for hubby n anthr for bb. Nw tat preggy w #2, i hv bgt anthr policy for hubby n wil b gettin 1 for bb whn i m in my 18th wk. Tats jus me lar. Bt my hubby cant understd n always sy i cheat his $. Bt in fact i m jus makin sure tat at every milestone, he wil hv sm $ to stand by.
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hopefully as time goes by, he wil understd y i m doin all these.
 
Joeey: he thinks my son will get scared and keep crying and then get fits. I dunno how he got this idea that just because my husband cried too much and got fits, my son will be like that too. He has warped logic. I had not been able to do sleep training coz they would rush in the moment they heard my son cry last time when we were still living together.

Nattan: both my in laws have health issues. If they send him by cab daily, would be a toil, and it would be expensive. Plus i am not confortable with the idea of travelling without seat belt for young children.

Besides, the hours are longer at this sch, so they would have to be out for long time
 
glass

Hmm.. I dunno if I'm right, but it may be that the issue with your FIL isn't abt sch bus, or taking cab etc. maybe he's just upset that he's not the one to choose & make a decision abt which sch your son goes to?


Actually hor, I also had a lot of issue abt my son gog to sch. But maybe it's more of him gog to sch, rather than which sch.

MIL : They won't feed him, take gd care of his health, remind him to drink water, he's still not really toilet-trained, what if he's bullied by the older gals, he'll get sick yadah yadah

FIL : he has this weird hang-up abt SIL's younger gal not liking sch. he thinks they started her too young (but she was a yr older than my boy when she started), she got traumatised that's why she doesn't wanna go to sch, etc I dunno how he feels abt having to fetch my boy from sch (we drop him off in the am).

BUT... yest he surprised me. The teacher called & said my boy accidentally pushed another boy, my boy tripped n fell & had a cut, he was not allowed to play coz he was too agitated so he was very upset etc... yet FIL didn't flare up like I thought he would. he actually told us not to talk abt sch anymore, or ask him abt sch. He believed my boy wasn't traumatised but just gog thru regular adjustment routine & he's fine with the sch. I was like, "Huh?" Nvm nvr look a gift horse in the mouth. Hopefully he'll continue to be supportive.
 
nattan

I'm also leaving everything in God's hands. Actually Hubs' salary isn't really enough to support us plus my boy's sch fees. Then now we have #2 coming. But I have done my sums & we have enough to at least cover living expenses & sch fees etc till #2 turns 2.5. If we need a maid, then it'll be additionally cost. And dunno if I ca go back to work after #2 is 2.5.

But I don't want to think so much anymore. God blessed me with this baby, which I wasn't expecting. He wouldn't have done that if he wouldn't provide for our needs right? So.. not that cross the bridge when we come to it.. but feel secure that we can aws work things out. There are aws avenues we can take like sell car, me get some data entry or whatever job at home, work part-time, etc etc. If I keep thinking, I wouldn't have had #2 coz can't afford & dun have help.

Chris

I also need to plan ahead & worse, I'm the glass half empty type of person. Everything also worse case scenario. But in this, I've learned to let go. Maybe my mind cannot cope with thinking so much, so I have to learn to let go b4 I go bonkers haha
 
Morning mummies...

Jul, yes letting go is good cos stressing out doesn't help! We can plan all we want, but in the end, we cannot predict the future. Actually I'm the main breadwinner at home. Hubby doesn't have a regular income so most expenses are paid by me. I really have to trust God for many things and so far, amazingly, we pulled through even when we worried about not being able to.
 
Chris
wow 500k for one kid, i dun think we can save up that much lor, we don't earn a lot after all.. so to me a downpayment for HDB flat still sounds affordable, especially if we do sell our condo haha..

i am a supporter of insurance also, 20% of our income actually goes to policies and i can't afford to get one more for #2 already.. LOL..

jul
wah you are very good leh, i meant Sam's school is not cheap lor you still can lun till #2 is 2.5.. we can't even afford to have 1 person not working for more than half a year.. haha talking about all these make me realize i got a lot of budgeting to do for household expenses now, LOL..
 
nattan

Yes, no point turning our hair grey. Unless we are the ones who are indiscriminately splurging & not controlling ourselves, like buying branded goods or branded car or expensive hols, surely there will be a way out.

Felicia

Savings lor! If #2 gets to 2.5, & I still can't work, we have to eat grass liao. Anyway that's why we can't afford to move hse at all, & I'm talking abt HDB flat hor, not condo. Can't afford a bigger car either.

And my flat was only $231k so the loan is still managable haha

I also have to cut down on my indiscriminate expenses liao. Luckily I nvr had a thing for jewellery, branded bags etc. But also no more hols, rstaurant meals for us too. And I gotta stop giving my mum allowance also. Alamak! Gonna be poor for the next 3 yrs at least!

But I believe that I can't scrimp on Sam's sch. I read so much gd things abt Montessori that I really want to give Sam this gift, which I nvr had the chance for myself. Hopefull he will become a "useful man" & I can rest my old, tired bones in peace liao haha
 
Jul, same here.. need to watch unnecessary expenses and this includes shopping indiscriminately online.. haha.. Yesterday I received another package in my mail.. I forgot that I actually ordered 2 pairs of maternity pants and it just arrived yesterday. Hubby was a bit annoyed when I told him I can't remember what I bought! :p But anyway, need to save up for all the bigger expenses coming up soon...

Sometimes I think about my future kids' education and I also don't know what to do. My parents could afford to send me to 2 private pre-schools before I entered pre-primary (before there was any govt subsidies), wonder if I can do the same? I'm toying with the idea of sending them to Montessori school in JB. After all, my MIL used to work in one and she said many expats send their kids to her school. But then, means have to depend on FIL to look after the kids or we move there... Haiz.. don't think so much...
 
Have any1 heard about G6PD deficiency? I've a colleague who just gave birth 2days ago & her bb was detected to have some blood disorder. Hmmm......
 
actually to save 500k for each kid nt so possible for me either, nt to mention i m a sahm. Bt i bgt a policy for #1 n its investment linked. According to the policy, whn my #1 is old liao, n i pass on liao, he cn surrender the policy n hv at least 500k. Provided we dont reduce the premium. Tokin abt schooling expense, i tink the real $ is whn thy nd to go uni. So i also wan2 set aside 80k whn thy r 18. Bt these r jus my dreams lar. Whether or nt cn achieve is anthr qn. :p

i sty in hdb too, hubby also no fix income n i m a sahm. Bt i believe in keepin simple lifestyle, hlp alot whn times r bad n daily exp is low. My greatest commitment nw is allowance for my parents. Thy expect me to giv, although my mum did sy no nd to giv if i hv no $ since i nt workin. Bt actually thy wil black face if i dont. :p
 
Angela

My ex-colleague had. She mentioned he had to avoid some beans & etc food. But other than that, he was a perfectly healthy boy.

Nattan

Talk abt online shopping! I spent almost USD80 yest on my #1's pants & socks from Old navy. Haven't incl the shipping yet. But it's ok lah, coz he really needs more pants to wear to sch everyday, & it's hard to find suitable ones for him.

I've stopped buying maternity clothes. Hope I can continue to resist!

Aiyah education is another headache. But I will take it a step at a time. get thru pre-sch first, then pri & sec sch & JC will be much more affordable. Uni - think later lah! Hopefully they can get some scholarship to help out lor.
 
Chris

Haha my kids' presch will cost the same as uni *faint*

My mum says no need to give $ when I'm a SAHM. The last time, I also had to stop allowance to her. But she's unhappy coz she feels that I'm wasting my education & the earning opportunity. keps saying that when I work, I have enough to pay for maid, 2 kids' fees, give her $, have spending power, & can even have some cheaper hols. Why do I wanna give up so much?
 
Yeah I also heard usu male babies. Seems like male babies are actually the weaker sex. Their natural infant mortality is higher, have more blood-related diseases like haemorraghing etc. Females also tend to recover from stroke, etc better. Who says weaker sex huh? haha
 
not sure about G6PD, heard about it and got this impression that i've seen this word on my blood test result somewhere, so maybe we have it tested during triple test?

anyway i just want to share the benefits of folic acid which my gynae shared with me during my last visit, he said most gynae will advise to take it for 1st trimester but he let his patience take till delivery for 4 major reasons:
- assist with iron absorption
- prevention of breast cancer for mummy
- prevention of blood cancer for baby
- prevention of placenta abruption, meaning placenta detach from uterus before labour, which causes immediate death of baby..
 
Chris, can share which policy you bought and how much are the premiums? I'm not sure about investment linked policies cos hubby had one before and it didn't make any returns for him after 5 yrs, so in the end he stopped it.

Jul, my hubby and his brothers all took up study loans when they came to attend uni here, so parents didn't pay a cent. I think when the time comes, if we really cannot afford it, then our kids have to do the same lor :p But hopefully won't come to that.

As for maternity clothes, I didn't buy that many either. I'm still wearing mostly pre-maternity clothes. The belly band is really a great investment!
 
Felicia, I'm still take folate from Blackmore which I bought from pharmacy. No harm taking it actually so I just take lor.
 
felicia

True lah. Like $3+ for 100pcs right?

nattan

yeah lah, there's aws study loan issue. But to get the loan granted, there needs to be some collateral too. Hopefully by then, we're not bankrupt or something then no guarantor haha

I can't wear a lot of my pre-preg clothes liao. Gosh my colls all say I look 6 mths preggie! Boo hoo!
 
Angela,

about G6PD is from mother to son, if mother is carrier then the son will have it and show. Mother will not have anything but son has to avoid a certain food.
 
HB n I also plan to retire in Malaysia as we oredi have a place in KL. Talking about kids future. We do have a education plan for my gal, but we will not let her know. We wish she could get scholarship for her own study. As both of us get nothing from our parents except education up to high school. Others all by ourselves, so we expect our children will work hard for their own future. And they education fund will become our retirement fund.
 
Hello Mummies,

I just like to share with you that Cordlife is now offering those who sign up (up till 12 Feb 2012) a $100 shopping voucher when you put my name as a friend who has referred you to Cordlife. (I will also receive a voucher from Cordlife, so its a win-win partnership;-)

You may PM me for my I/C and full name to be included when you fill up your registration.

Thank you
 
Good noon mummies, TGIF!

My hubby has G6PD. He has to avoid a kind of nuts for life and must keep away from mothballs. Otherwise, everything is fine.

Cant wait to knock off and have some rest. Happy Chinese New Year in advance & huat ah! :D
 
I'm already on leave today! woohoo!! spent the whole morning washing every single tile in the house *living & bedrooms, kitchen & toilets*.. damn tiring. but i love the clean smell.
went to #1's school to join in their CNY celebration.. now at home nuahing.

hope i have energy to do laundry tonight so tomorrow i can go shopping again.
tonight we're going shopping date
happy.gif
 
I also bought investment link plan for my #1. Hubby paid for that..

Thinking about money, I'm really really afraid now. MIL has cancer and I don't think they are really prepared for that. Hubby already give the money they asked, which is actually payback on what we owe them for our wedding celebration in Jkt.

BUT the most worrying is hubby has a brother that just finished high school this year and will enter university. I'm worried if we need to pay even his school fee or if he really enters NUS/ SMU here, his accomodation and food!! That can take like $1K a month already. Where can we afford them
sad.gif
.

I feel it's best if he goes to school in Indo, at least we just give money if they ask. Huhu.. Secretly hoping he won't get accepted.

I said to my parents about my situation and said I actually has money to pay back them give the same amount of what we give to in law but need to see first whether in law need more money or not. Luckily my parents understand. Anyway my parents last time is super stingy about money so they are now quite well off.
Not my in law leh, quite generous in buying things..
 
groovy,
$1k a month is pretty much, maybe he can consider taking a study loan instead. well, don't think too far ahead, enjoy the lunar new year first !

erm, I didn't do much spring cleaning this year, only wipe the external parts of the furniture and it's done by my parttime cleaner :p

petrina,
enjoy your shopping date
happy.gif


To all mummies :
新年快乐！恭喜发财！
 
Petrina, you're too hardworking liao.. Hubby normally does all these chores..hehe..

Groovy, don't worry too much la.. Worse case scenario, your BIL should understand and take on a study loan. But don't selfishly hope that he doesn't get accepted here. His degree here will be worth more and allow him to earn more money later. Anyway, nowadays fresh grads earn a lot and can pay back very fast. The interest is very low also. It's not your responsibility to pay for his education cos you have your own kids' education to think about.

Chris, ok.. will check it out. Does the policy cover baby?

Wishing all mummies a wonderful CNY in advance. I'm so looking forward to my scan tomorrow
happy.gif
If I can see my baby growing healthily and find out the gender, I'll be so happy liao..
happy.gif
 
Groovy: ask your bil to give tuition or take part time job if he can get into uni here. He should learn to be more independent. At most allow him a room to stay or ask him to live in a hostel.

Re paying for children's education
I think we should not hand everything over on a silver platter. Now we can invest in them, but to worry needlessly over their future, we can't really tell. If our children cannot make it to local uni, then get them to work and save up first. To sell our house to fun their overseas education, i doubt they will truly appreciate the sacrifice.

Jul: i really dunno what he is thinking. He has decided on one thing and cannot stand us going against him. It coukd also be becuase of money.
 
Hehe, ladies, i m chores person. Cant stand dirty. So it works for my hb as i'll 看不顺眼 first...
Not tat i love doing chores hor.. Just that i too hygienic liao.. Haha

I also buying the preg prudential policy. If u ladies have budget, shld buy lah. Covers from birth n preg time.. So it covers pre exsisting. Very impt since so many funny diseases nowaday.. Play safe.
If u need contact, i'll recommend my ex colly. Hehe

Re education, i already overloaded.. I dunno whether i will buy edu savings plan for #2 or not
sad.gif

I m quite certain my son go sch i no worries abt money though.

Groovy: too much to rely on ur hb on education. Even my mil dun dare ask my hb for $ regarding bil educatio. Not his son leh.. Now bil study pt uni mil pay but bil will pay her in instalments every mth. This instills independence and the strive to ace everypaper.
If not money stressed, they won't take the school seriously...

Today my hb ask me how i feel abt being preg again, i told him the truth.. No feeling... Compared to our son.
Kinda having dragon baby to fufil dreams and also regrets of not having natural birth previously.. Also to make up for the absence of baby zzz with me..
I think i have separation anxiety from my son leh. Super cham. Cant travel w/o my boy. Keep missing him when we go shopping.
sad.gif
 
nattan > ya cover both mum n bb. Bt mum coverage wil cease aftr the 1st few yrs. Ya, agree w petrina tat its a gd policy to gt cos it covers bb b4 he is out in tis world. If u nd a reliable agent cn consider mine. Knw her fr a road show 2 yrs ago n had bgt a few policy fr her liao. Vry gd service n gd adv.
 
I am buying the plan too.. But is from axa.. Nattan, u may wanna compare the plan before committing.

Advance cny to all mummies!!
 


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