Support group - Miscarriages

old aunty said:
i also finally opt for d&c ...private dr said betr to get it out . it may come out in few days time, one week's time, or dun come out at all, best to take it out . sgh dr said mayb can let it come out by itself since the sac is small. (however private dr told me -sac seems small but the surrounding liquids and blood is heavy). cny is drawing near, i donot want to keep worrying each day as to when the cramp and blood wil come, some mre dr said it wil b like a mini chidbirth, scared die me!.
so, as much as i hated surgery and is petrified of undergoing GA. i am doing it today.....cry....
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@old aunty . Hugz. Hope you are recovering (emotionally) well.
 


meowmi17 said:
Hi ladies,

It's been awhile since I last read this thread. After my 3rd miscarriage in Sept 2014, I decided to take a break from the baby stuff. I told myself to be kind to myself and that baby will come when it is meant to be. I took good care of myself, and had recovered well. I went to guangmingshan to chao du for my babies and felt much better that I can put things down. I put my energy into planning for a holiday in January this year. I avoided looking at this thread as I wanted myself to move on. It was almost back to normal for both my health and my emotions, I can finally look at babies without the 'longing' feeling.

Yesterday, my hubby casually mentioned to me that he really would like to have a baby, and that he would like to continue trying after we settle our new BTO, which is within these 2 months. And now, I am feeling so stressed up. The anxieties are coming back. I can't sleep. I'm so worried that what if all these re not meant to be... I'm not sure if my body can take another, it's been a tough 2 years for my body and the doctor (Prof Mahesh) said that the D&Cs have taken a toll on my womb, I am afraid that I cannot take another blow.

Haiz. Many thoughts came into my mind and I cannot sleep...
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hi @meowmi I was a Dec newbie to this thread. Sigh. Not the best place of all to meet you. Are you ready to call it quits or you need more time before TTC? After you figure out what you want, then it'll be one big step towards communicating to your husband and coming to terms... My case is flip as yours - Im ready to go but my husband is not sure and I can see that he is vexed...
 
xiaolu said:
Hi, can I ask who's your gynae? I'm looking for a female who specializes in high risk pregnancies. Thanks!
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My gynae is prof mahesh choolani...he is female dr...
To me female better but since he is specialist on it n many successful case so just give it a try to go c him surprisingly feeling more secure n assurance aft seeing him n slowly okie ttc again aft 2nd mcs abt 6mths b4 rule out e real reason I dare not ttc n hub understand it...mbe u think of it ba...jiayou
 
meowmi17 said:
Hi ladies,

It's been awhile since I last read this thread. After my 3rd miscarriage in Sept 2014, I decided to take a break from the baby stuff. I told myself to be kind to myself and that baby will come when it is meant to be. I took good care of myself, and had recovered well. I went to guangmingshan to chao du for my babies and felt much better that I can put things down. I put my energy into planning for a holiday in January this year. I avoided looking at this thread as I wanted myself to move on. It was almost back to normal for both my health and my emotions, I can finally look at babies without the 'longing' feeling.

Yesterday, my hubby casually mentioned to me that he really would like to have a baby, and that he would like to continue trying after we settle our new BTO, which is within these 2 months. And now, I am feeling so stressed up. The anxieties are coming back. I can't sleep. I'm so worried that what if all these re not meant to be... I'm not sure if my body can take another, it's been a tough 2 years for my body and the doctor (Prof Mahesh) said that the D&Cs have taken a toll on my womb, I am afraid that I cannot take another blow.

Haiz. Many thoughts came into my mind and I cannot sleep...
Click to expand...
Sorry may I know ur case? So that I can share my relevant experience w u if any or u pte msg me? :)
 
chrisl said:
Hey meowmi, i remember u..

Sorry u hv to feel the stress all over again..hugs

Hv u talked to him abt ur anxieties yet?

I feel u..the overwhelming fear of 'what ifs' ..hv to be strong and tell yourself u can do it de..take small steps..little by little k..tell urself dun stress too..take it slowly as it comes..and maybe just maybe this time u will be successful? And maybe this time ur doc might give u stronger blood thinning jabs cos if previously aspirin dun work for u..i think give a hope or someone else had jabs instead as their sticky blood is not controlled by just aspirin..now they are successful too..so..think positive ok gal? ***positive vibes***
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Hi Chrisl,

Thanks for your kind words. I've talked about it with my hubby already. I guess it's all the insecurities that are making me feel nervous. Yea, not ready to try again now, maybe a few months later I guess. Prof Mahesh and Dr Sheila advised that i should go for the jab earlier next time. But i'm so scared! I saw pictures that another lady had posted and she had bruises all over her tummy from the jab. I really admire her for her courage. Will take it slow I guess. I'm glad to be able to get support from ppl like you who understand how i feel :)
 
old aunty said:
Meowmi, try again when u are ready emotionally and physically. Seek advice from your doctor and never stop taking good care of yourself. Stay positive and never doubt the power of your subconcious mind. I am also in the midst of recovery. We jiayou together.i know it had been a rough journey for you. Heads up chin high !
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Hi old aunty,

Haha y call yourself old. Thanks for the rally :) lets jiayou together.
 
Give a hope said:
Sorry may I know ur case? So that I can share my relevant experience w u if any or u pte msg me? :)
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Hello Give a Hope :)

Me high NK cells, went for IVIG. And sticky blood, had aspirin but not enough. Apprently i think there were some issues with protein S so my blood clots easily. Need to take the tummy jab earlier. I thought i have already done all I could. I wasn't even working this time. Well, guess it's still not meant to be.
 
bunnymuimui said:
hi @meowmi I was a Dec newbie to this thread. Sigh. Not the best place of all to meet you. Are you ready to call it quits or you need more time before TTC? After you figure out what you want, then it'll be one big step towards communicating to your husband and coming to terms... My case is flip as yours - Im ready to go but my husband is not sure and I can see that he is vexed...
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Hi bunnymuimui,

Not the best place to meet, but luckily we've got this platform for support. I already talked to my hubby. Not now not now, me not ready You've got to communicate with your hubby too. Btw did u say u just joined in Dec?
 
meowmi17 said:
Hi bunnymuimui,

Not the best place to meet, but luckily we've got this platform for support. I already talked to my hubby. Not now not now, me not ready You've got to communicate with your hubby too. Btw did u say u just joined in Dec?
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Last Dec was my 2nd m/c. It was emotionally bad for me and I chanced upon this forum. My first m/c was in 2010... then didn't know of support groups and so suffer in silence :S We communicated. Very different stands very straining on the relationship. Good that you know what you want and aligned with the husband already.
 
meowmi17 said:
Hi old aunty,

Haha y call yourself old. Thanks for the rally :) lets jiayou together.
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meowmi, dun worry about the jabs la, i also very fearful of needless and injections.but i told myself this is nothing as compared to other hardships and mental torture i have to go thro to have a baby.and the jabs are actually helping us to achieve our goals faster ya. the first jab i administered myself at the clinic was terrifying. that time the nurse had just taught me how to jab myself and wanted me to show her before i left the clinic. i was holding the pen, just couldnt jab myself due to fear. my hubby said -come on, what are u waiting for? the nurse said- quick u can do it, jus jab dun be scared...i was so stressed. i paused for very long before i did it. after which i started crying. i didnt cry because it was painful. i cried because of self pity. to think that i had to do all these to have a baby..i know it was very drama la, but we all have our fears that we have to overcome and once we overcome it, we will be tougher. hope you get the mental strength to overcome your fears soon. im still scared of needles, but after so many things happened, it is not so scary anymre.
i called myself old aunty cos i am old ma. im 42 and i find this nick qte funny hee...
 
meowmi, i feel very sad hearing your story. one miscarriage is already a big blow to me, i can imagine what you had to go tro to recover. big big hugs!
 
meowmi17 said:
Hello Give a Hope :)

Me high NK cells, went for IVIG. And sticky blood, had aspirin but not enough. Apprently i think there were some issues with protein S so my blood clots easily. Need to take the tummy jab earlier. I thought i have already done all I could. I wasn't even working this time. Well, guess it's still not meant to be.
Click to expand...
Jiayou mbe u shall start clexance once tested positive...arrange to c dr sheila n consult from there...
My case also high nk cells, aft that found out GDM n protein s deficiency...fingers crossed next mth GDM n protein s deficiency test show fully clear from it :)
 
old aunty said:
meowmi, i feel very sad hearing your story. one miscarriage is already a big blow to me, i can imagine what you had to go tro to recover. big big hugs!
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I'm not a religious person, but somehow after being through these, I am starting to believe that all things happen for a reason, according to heaven's will. Do take care of yourself, rest more, don't do housework if possible. I had very bad backaches after my D&Cs and felt like I was being beaten up each time. Just had to rest more and be patient to your body :)
 
Poor gal , must be very painful for u . I dun have backaches , just light bleeding and cramps but the tolerable type . Maybe because I was only 8 wks pregnant but sac only size of 5 weeks . Ya I try not to do housework. Only throw laundry into washing machine and hang them up and keep them after drying .not too strenuous should be ok.
 
I have abit of backache too but i think its not due to d&c. Maybe because of pregnancy? I try to exercise and drink tonic. It goes away after few mths. :)
 
Give a hope said:
My gynae is prof mahesh choolani...he is female dr...
To me female better but since he is specialist on it n many successful case so just give it a try to go c him surprisingly feeling more secure n assurance aft seeing him n slowly okie ttc again aft 2nd mcs abt 6mths b4 rule out e real reason I dare not ttc n hub understand it...mbe u think of it ba...jiayou
Click to expand...

Thanks! I'm not so comfortable with male gynae but I have an appointment with him to see if I can find a reason for my recurrent miscarriages. So maybe will decide again then.
 
Just had miscarriage last wed.. was about 6 weeks.. I am currently feeling better now but still thinks about my beanie from time to time.

Just went to the doc today to confirm the hcg level have dropped and was prescribed antibiotics.. scheduled to see the doc again in 6 weeks..

Just wondering.. what is your diet like after a miscarriage?
 
Hi ongchailing, sorry that you have to join this thread. Grieve then move on..and stay strong! U are natural miscarriage? The diet is like normal confinement. Fish or pork (liver, kidney, trotters) add alot of ginger, DOM, rice wine or seasame oil. Drink red dates with ginger water. Repeat these everyday for 1 to 2wks. Most impt is to keep your body warm by eating heaty food, replenish blood and energy. The most easiest i can cook by myself is steamed cod fish with rice wine and ginger. The taste is superb :)
 
xiaolu said:
Thanks! I'm not so comfortable with male gynae but I have an appointment with him to see if I can find a reason for my recurrent miscarriages. So maybe will decide again then.
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Xiaolu, i have seen prof choolani. I have agreed to do a series of blood tests for investigation. Its a recurrent pregnancy loss package. The package is quite costly. I will see him end of march to review the results. There is one set of blood tests need to carry out during menses D3 to 5. So just nice my first cycle of menses have reported so i did my blood test this morning. Be prepared that u have to lose alot of blood :p
 
dear chailing, sorry to hear about your miscarriage..dunno isit appropriate to say that your r not alone here.we understand how u r feeling now.may god heal u fast and heal us fast too .are u going to let it come out naturally or do a surgery to clean it up? i think no need special diet until the procedure is done or after u start bleeding. after that basically is to eat food that helps keep body warm.for me i ordered confinement food , rest and eat , dun have to worry about finding food or cooking
 
mangoyoyo said:
Xiaolu, i have seen prof choolani. I have agreed to do a series of blood tests for investigation. Its a recurrent pregnancy loss package. The package is quite costly. I will see him end of march to review the results. There is one set of blood tests need to carry out during menses D3 to 5. So just nice my first cycle of menses have reported so i did my blood test this morning. Be prepared that u have to lose alot of blood :p
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hi mangoyoyo, if it is not too troublesome, can u list out the set of test that you r undergoing? thenn i can also follow the list and consult my dr if i need to do similar tests. thank u very much how much is the package u signed up?
 
Hi mangoyoyo & old aunty.. mine is natural.. it's already happened last wed.. bleed heavily for 2 days and constant cramps.. currently waiting for bleeding to stop..

Seems like ginger is good. No wonder my mum cooked for me some dishes on sunday with ginger.
 
mangoyoyo said:
Xiaolu, i have seen prof choolani. I have agreed to do a series of blood tests for investigation. Its a recurrent pregnancy loss package. The package is quite costly. I will see him end of march to review the results. There is one set of blood tests need to carry out during menses D3 to 5. So just nice my first cycle of menses have reported so i did my blood test this morning. Be prepared that u have to lose alot of blood :p
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Thanks for the info! I think to me, if spending the money can help me have a healthy pregnancy and baby, I don't mind it. I'm a bit scared of the tests actually! Seeing the Prof in two weeks time, after CNY. Did your hubby have to do a lot of tests too?
 
mangoyoyo said:
Xiaolu, i have seen prof choolani. I have agreed to do a series of blood tests for investigation. Its a recurrent pregnancy loss package. The package is quite costly. I will see him end of march to review the results. There is one set of blood tests need to carry out during menses D3 to 5. So just nice my first cycle of menses have reported so i did my blood test this morning. Be prepared that u have to lose alot of blood :p
Click to expand...
Hahaha that time mine 20 over tubes of blood till e counter cashier asking me is that this is mine? And nurse said nv drawn so much for ppl b4...lol
 
old aunty said:
hi mangoyoyo, if it is not too troublesome, can u list out the set of test that you r undergoing? thenn i can also follow the list and consult my dr if i need to do similar tests. thank u very much how much is the package u signed up?
Click to expand...

Sure. But the results will shown to me 6wks later. The tests i did with prof choolani is very detailed one..for investigation of recurrent loss. I have a list of the test name from a blog. Your dr may not recommend u to do if its first mc. Even my 2nd mc my doc only ordered very basic tests and genetic tests. The package is ard 2.5k for me as i did my genetic test earlier so minus that off. Genetic test is 1.2k.
 
xiaolu said:
Thanks for the info! I think to me, if spending the money can help me have a healthy pregnancy and baby, I don't mind it. I'm a bit scared of the tests actually! Seeing the Prof in two weeks time, after CNY. Did your hubby have to do a lot of tests too?
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Not many for hubby. Prof will definitely call for genetic test if both u and ur hub haven't done. Thats a few tubes of blood. My hub already did that so..only a sperm fragmentation test. It has to be carried at SGH. I am scared abt the 2nd test on coming fri. Cos nurse say alot of tubes plus some glucose test whereby i hv to fast.
 
Give a hope said:
Hahaha that time mine 20 over tubes of blood till e counter cashier asking me is that this is mine? And nurse said nv drawn so much for ppl b4...lol
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Omg 20 tubes!!! Really alot!! Yesterday 6tubes..i feel very uncomfortable cos the needle is moving when nurse change tubes. I am like enduring. During my stay in hospital the nurse use a long pipe to connect to tubes so i won't feel pain when chge many tubes. I like this method hee...
Give a hope...u are brave!!
 
bunnymuimui said:
An angel in the book of life, wrote my baby's birth.
Whispered as she closed the book, too beautiful for earth.
If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.
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I can't help but teared upon reading this. My eyes are filled with my tears of missing....
Thanks for sharing. I believe my baby souls are in heaven.
 
redvel said:
I can't help but teared upon reading this. My eyes are filled with my tears of missing....
Thanks for sharing. I believe my baby souls are in heaven.
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Found the above in the Stillborn thread... and I knew exactly where to share it... Their stories are really heart wrenching and inspiring.
 
Ong Chai Ling said:
Hi mangoyoyo & old aunty.. mine is natural.. it's already happened last wed.. bleed heavily for 2 days and constant cramps.. currently waiting for bleeding to stop..

Seems like ginger is good. No wonder my mum cooked for me some dishes on sunday with ginger.
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Chai ling, how r u feeling after the heavy bleeding? Bleeding less also means less cramps? Rest well ya.I had very mild cramps after surgery but the cramps r getting more painful now. When I get the feel to go pangsai, the cramp becomes more also. Have a flu so keep sneezing and that doesnT help either..Bleeding is minimal but started to have bit of clots .
 
old aunty said:
Chai ling, how r u feeling after the heavy bleeding? Bleeding less also means less cramps? Rest well ya.I had very mild cramps after surgery but the cramps r getting more painful now. When I get the feel to go pangsai, the cramp becomes more also. Have a flu so keep sneezing and that doesnT help either..Bleeding is minimal but started to have bit of clots .
Click to expand...

I am ok now.. the cramps subsided on the 3rd day cause I have passed out the tissues in lumps.. my bleeding seems to have stopped today as well.
 
mangoyoyo said:
Not many for hubby. Prof will definitely call for genetic test if both u and ur hub haven't done. Thats a few tubes of blood. My hub already did that so..only a sperm fragmentation test. It has to be carried at SGH. I am scared abt the 2nd test on coming fri. Cos nurse say alot of tubes plus some glucose test whereby i hv to fast.
Click to expand...
All the best for your test on Friday! We haven't done the genetic test... I think I will need to give up quite a bit of blood too. Unfortunately, I also have an upcoming medical test for insurance reasons coming up, and I heard that it's also quite a number of tubes of blood. At this rate, I think I need to take iron pills already.... haha
 
This forum is indeed a good support for those of us who are going through this pain. It's still tough for me. I still cannot bear to socialise with the friend who conceived the same time as me, and keeping my interactions to just a few other close friends. I hope that will change soon. For now, I'm just busying myself with spring cleaning my home for CNY. I hope to wash away all the bad luck in the horse year (i've had 2 mcs) and bring in good luck for this goat year!
 
xiaolu said:
All the best for your test on Friday! We haven't done the genetic test... I think I will need to give up quite a bit of blood too. Unfortunately, I also have an upcoming medical test for insurance reasons coming up, and I heard that it's also quite a number of tubes of blood. At this rate, I think I need to take iron pills already.... haha
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Thank you. I will share again after Friday haha. I have beef to replenish my blood. Pls let me know aft u see Prof choolani too.
 
mangoyoyo said:
Omg 20 tubes!!! Really alot!! Yesterday 6tubes..i feel very uncomfortable cos the needle is moving when nurse change tubes. I am like enduring. During my stay in hospital the nurse use a long pipe to connect to tubes so i won't feel pain when chge many tubes. I like this method hee...
Give a hope...u are brave!!
Click to expand...
Part of my test did at nuh by using a long pipe not pain when seeing rheumatologiest there but she doesn't know anything much abt our case ones so discharged me only when c prof asking to do proper test den balance test did at candam especially e glucose test repeated 3 times I was there for half a day lor...but everything worth it...u jiayou
 
buns_bunnie said:
I had 2 miscarriages both in their early weeks of 5 and 10 weeks. Plus above 35 and having sub clinical hypothyroid... so Im hoping to get a gynae who's experienced and can help manage my preg better....
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bunnymuimui said:
hi @buns_bunnie, sure there are. What are the risk factors in your case? Age, high-order births, med conditions?
Click to expand...
I'll be interested to know too! I'm actually getting quite fed up with my gynae and looking around for another.
 
actually NUH not bad for gynae specializing in recurrent mc/high risk pregnancies..prof Biswas/dr cholanni, dr shelia vasoo
 
Hello everyone,

My baby wasn’t meant to be. There was no heartbeat and no growth when I went for a scan yesterday (week 10). This baby was via an FET; he/she was so hard to come by, that I wish the baby stayed. I wanted to ask you a few questions, just because I was in shock to think about them in my dr’s presence.

1. I’m having no bleeding. And I’m hesitant to go for D&C. Once I stop the duphaston pills, will I start bleeding? Or could it take a while? And, did anyone naturally miscarry around 9 weeks +?

2. I see my dr. again on 23 Feb. If I don’t bleed by then, she will suggest a D&C. Do you know roughly how much a D&C would cost me at a public hospital? I’m at SGH.

Thank you! And good night everyone.
 
fwdlooking said:
Hello everyone,

My baby wasn’t meant to be. There was no heartbeat and no growth when I went for a scan yesterday (week 10). This baby was via an FET; he/she was so hard to come by, that I wish the baby stayed. I wanted to ask you a few questions, just because I was in shock to think about them in my dr’s presence.

1. I’m having no bleeding. And I’m hesitant to go for D&C. Once I stop the duphaston pills, will I start bleeding? Or could it take a while? And, did anyone naturally miscarry around 9 weeks +?

2. I see my dr. again on 23 Feb. If I don’t bleed by then, she will suggest a D&C. Do you know roughly how much a D&C would cost me at a public hospital? I’m at SGH.

Thank you! And good night everyone.
Click to expand...
Big hugs.

I didn't have bleeding for weeks when my baby actually had stopped his/her heartbeat. It stopped at 13weeks. I was on oral utrogestan. Actually I want to correct whenever I see ladies post that no spotting/bleeding then everything is ok. That is so not true. Just like when preggie ladies spot/bleed, it doesn't necessarily mean mc.

I stopped utrogestan on the last scan and I opted for d&c either next day or 2 days later. No bleeding in between.

My 2nd bfp I mc-ed and was passed out naturally but I was likely just 6weeks or so. Not too sure if it's encouraged to pass out naturally at 9weeks since the formation is bigger. I guess you had discussed this with your doc.

I was with KKH and was a pte patient. Was a low 4digit and partial Medisave and partial cash. Sorry I can't remember the details.
 


fwdlooking said:
Hello everyone,

My baby wasn’t meant to be. There was no heartbeat and no growth when I went for a scan yesterday (week 10). This baby was via an FET; he/she was so hard to come by, that I wish the baby stayed. I wanted to ask you a few questions, just because I was in shock to think about them in my dr’s presence.

1. I’m having no bleeding. And I’m hesitant to go for D&C. Once I stop the duphaston pills, will I start bleeding? Or could it take a while? And, did anyone naturally miscarry around 9 weeks +?

2. I see my dr. again on 23 Feb. If I don’t bleed by then, she will suggest a D&C. Do you know roughly how much a D&C would cost me at a public hospital? I’m at SGH.

Thank you! And good night everyone.
Click to expand...
sorry to hear this...

I natural MCed when in week 11.5 and I wasn't aware the heartbeat stopped ..cos I scanned in week7 was still ok..the sac I passed was abt a pingpong sized one..think most likely stopped ard week 9 or 10..

for me I just started spotting with cramps ..started say a few hrs then gradually cramps more abt shorter intervals to abt 3-5mins..with big clots/heavy bleedings..

then I didn't hv any medications at all and I think my body took abt maybe ard 2+ weeks to realise that..I think for ur case it might take a while ba..cos u just stopped the duphaston..but also difficult to say cos each body different..are u working or? cos if working and if the actual flow comes during work might be tad tricky ..

as for dnc costs..not sure....
 
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