Support group - Miscarriages

Miffy,

I hate to say this but it wont be so easy to forget the children we lost.. even though we have not seen them physically nor touch or smell them before. It is just.. maternal instinct. We can try to make the pain a little less painful because time will heal the wound but the scar will always be there. I can tell you since my mc in sept there have not been 1 single day at all where I didnt think of the twins. You are just being normal so dont blame yourself for feeling agitiated when you hear close friends etc pregnant and stuff.

Shann and Lynn, thanks for the thoughts. Taking 1 day at a time. My hubby is lagi best.. dont even believe that I could have gotten preggers so fast insist see gynae than he believe *roll eyes*. I dont know why.. just something tells me may not be all good news until I visit the gynae. Anyway I will muster enough courage. Life is really contradicting at times. Here you are wishing you are preggers again and when you really are you feel how can it be.
 


erm.. anyone can enlighten me on how CM is like before O, during O, and after O? I'm confused about what i'm seeing this cycle
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hi everyone today I just did my D&C. Baby was about 7-8 weeks. Last Sunday I had heavy bleeding and was given bed rest but when I went for a scan, gynae mentioned that there is no heartbeat and he could tell the fetus is not in a good condition.

Never realize D&C is quite painful but any advice on what I can eat and what I cant.

Wanted to try a baby after this bad episode.
 
hi ling: wah,i miss out on reading the thread for a few days because of work and i come back and read the FANTASTIC NEWS! so happy for you ling, will keep fingers crossed for you. keep us updated.

for me, my 1st AF is just over, today is Day 7, supposed to start BDing every other day from tomorrow onwards and start doing OPKs (my first time) from Mon onwards. wish me luck

gals - can teach me how to use OPKs, any tips to share? best time of day to do? the box says to do it in the afternoon, after 4hrs of not going to the toilet - i dun think i can stay away from the toilet for so long!
 
Hi Vivi,

Sad to hear ur loss. Do rest well and avoid walking too muc. As to want to eat, u shld do a mini confinement, take confinement kind of food for a week or so. It will build ur body up.

Don't take plain water take the drink that ladies take during confinement to keep u warm.

My recipe which is very simple and I took for a month.
1) Longan (qtty as u wish)
2) Black dates (14x)
3) Ginger (2 slices)
4) Dangsheng (4 sticks)

Boil then drink.

Rest well!! Take good care!
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Hi Picotin,

OPK is very simple to use. depends on the brand u buy normally just need to dip the stick in urine for abt 10 s then read the result.

Afternoon is a good time to catch the surge of LH . As for not going to toilet for 4hr.....I also cannot do so. Just avoid too much water intak which will dilute ur urine. It work for me and still can detect surge of LH thot i go toilet 1 hr ago.

Hope my small experience help.

Hope u hit target!!
kao_wink.gif
 
Thanks Jovial for your advice.

The thing is I took a lot of plain water, should be ok right?

Can use red dates instead of black dates?
 
Thanks Shann....

I think can bath and wash hair right? I use water heater hope this is ok....

Normally will you all start to try 2 months later? I saw from another thread that those who had d&c normally will be more fertile true?

I was also thinking whether is it a must to go TCM?
 
Hi Vivi,

Please see the first part of my post on Wednesday, January 06, 2010 - 11:15 pm in response to your query on what you can eat/can't.

If you can get home-cooked food, that's best. Chicken/fish cooked with ginger and/or with rice wine, stewed black chicken soup, the list goes on. The most important thing is to eat balanced meals and don't forget to keep taking 5mg of folic acid every day till you're next pregnant.

Best to rest well and try again after 3 months as your menstrual cycle will most likely be topsy-turvy during that period.

DNC is never a pleasant procedure and bleeding/staining will continue for 1-2 weeks after that. The feeling of fatigue sets in quite easily and which is why home confinement & as much bed rest as possible is encouraged for at least 2 weeks to a month. If you had local spinal anaesthesia, the lower back pain could continue for 1-2 months.

Mild infection might also set in which is why usually the follow-up appointment is given 1-2 weeks after the DNC. Any sign of heavy bleeding, clotting, excessive pain/nausea or side effects from the anaesthesia should also be noted and an appointment made to see the doctor asap.

Blessings,
Shiner
 
Lynn, there is a way when you are in doubt if that is fertile or non fertile cm. When put in a cup of water and swished around for a bit, semen will break up or dissolve; fertile cm will clump together.
 
hi ViVi: Try to avoid bathing and touch water, get family to take over house chores... But if you really feel stickly and must shower, try with the herbal water.

I did not shower wuth herbs but I did hot water shower very quickly. ANd because my hair was very short... boy style, so I just quickly shower and wipe very dry almost everyday. Of course best is use the herbs lor... I not the good girl type hehehheheh...
 
Hi Shiner thank you for your advice.

JTML me too as I have short bob hair so I put on very hot water and bath quickly. My dad even asked me not to switch on the fan..... I cannot imagine not showering because of the hot weather factor in Singapore.

Now I try not to think so much and just concentrate on getting well and then try a baby rabbit.
 
thanks so much jovial for the helpful info - just wondering why afternoon is the best time to catch the surge, and usually i drink a lot of fluid at lunch time so was thinking i might test just b4 lunch, say around 12pm - do you think that is late enuff?

vivi: sorry to hear abt your mc - for me, i got my confinement food from natal essentials for abt 5 days, they were really good - they can start delivering abt one working day after you first call them and there is no minimum period, overall, service v gd and portions are so big - i just ordered one meal per day and split the portion into a lunch portion and a dinner portion. can consider maybe?

best to check with your doc when you can try again. i had a natural bleed so doc said no need to wait even for 1st AF to report before trying again, i think D&C maybe must wait for 1st AF to report, tho i think some ladies here want to wait for three cycles.
 
Picotin, was just wondering why some ladies like you chose natural bleed? wont it be too hurting for the body? that is what my gynae said so he advised d&c.

Hee hee maybe next time when I give birth successfully will consider that because now my dad is cooking for me.

Tomorrow I am heading back to work I dont know whether can I face the people there in case they ask......
 
vivi: had read online that the natural bleed would be very painful, some women said worse than labour etc. but I preferred to keep things as natural as possible, esp since I was quite early on in my preg (6 wks only), and I prefer less invasive methods where possible

anyway, my bleed was 100% ok, slight cramps like period cramps - didn't need any painkillers, even went out for dinner with my sister etc. i would recommend this method to others in the future.

sorry to hear you are headed back to work tmrrow - just tell pple you were not well and don't invite any further questions, hopefully they will leave you alone after a while. be strong. just focus on your healing so you will be ready to try again. the rest is just side noise!
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Picotin you are so brave! I admire your courage for me I dont think I can take it. Rembering that the morning before the D&C, I took 2 cyrotec and boy that was already quite painful so I cannot imagine the pain that if you go for the natural way.

Thanks for your encouragement.

Are you ttcing now?
 
Picotin,

Thanks for the well wishes .. I am not having any symptons of the pregnancy so am really worried but taking 1 day at a time. Hope all us will not suffer such loss ever again.

Vivi really sorry you have to join this thread. Sometimes it was just not meant to be. Most important is you build up your health right now. For me I didnt bath for a good 7 days and when I finally can I bath in package herbs. I think is up to indivdual.. I am a big scardy cat so just follow instructions.

Girls, if anyone is TTCing.. I dont know if you heard of saliva microscope. During our ovulation, our saliva enzymes become fern like. I was actually using this together with BBT to monitor fertility situation.
 
Ling never had I occur that I will land up here and it is just that this is god's will and not for me to choose.

I really hope I can get preggie soon to ease away the pain. Actually life is so contradicting. When i first found out that I am pregnant I could not accept it because I thought I am not ready yet. When I was all ok and set to welcome the baby it was lost !

Maybe this is god's will for me to learn how to cherish it. Now I guess I am ready to have babies but I know my first priority is to build up my health first.
 
Vivi: Actually, the natural method simply means that I took cytotec. Two doses and the bleeding started. So you see, it's really not much more scary than a D+C. Yes, life has an odd way of working out sometimes. I believe things happen for a reason - sometimes misfortunes befall us so that when the good things come (and they will, don't you worry!), we'll savour and appreciate them all the more. So take this in your stride - tho of course it's normal and human to be upset and disappointed and sad (we all were/are!) - and just have confidence that you will see better days soon
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Ling: Thanks for the info - I think saliva monitoring is used as an alternative to standard OPKs? When will you see your gynae to check things out? I know it's scary so don't worry about having to see your doc more often etc. Some of my friends went to scan every 3 weeks in their pregnancies post-MC. Can't even imagine what a nervous wreck I will be when I get preggers again. Told a friend the other day that having a m/c is like losing your innocence forever - we can never take things for granted the way other women do, we will never stop worrying - but that's life I guess. Just have to remain positive no matter what, right?

TTC: Yes, we are trying this cycle! Day 8 yesterday so the BDing has begun. Supposed to go every other day until OPK turns positive, first OPK is tomorrow (Day 10). Exciting!
 
Vivi, i was the same as you. When I found out i was pregnant, I couldn't accept it at first, but after the first scan, i so look forward to see my baby. When almost close to 12 weeks, i experienced bleeding, rushed to the hospital and managed to save the pregnancy, but i still couldn't escape the terrible fate that was waiting for me during the 20 weeks scan, i lost my baby at 20 weeks because baby was diagnosed with spina bifida and I have to let her go.

Take care and hopefully we will have healthy babies soon.
 
Hi Picotin,

Sorry just logon. Here is the info I have read.

The best time to test is 2 p.m., or as close as possible. Anytime between noon and 8 p.m. is fine, first morning urine is not recommended. The reason for this is that most women experience a surge in the morning, but it can take 4 hours for it to show up in your urine.

And also make sure to test at about the same time every day.

Hope this is in time for u.

Enjoy trying!!
 
Thanks Jovial! Will test tomorrow at 2pm and see if that is do-able.

Shiseru: Oh no, what an awful experience to have to go thru. Always tougher when the preg is further along. I can't even begin to imagine.
 
waah.. suddenly so many posts over the wkend.

vivi - sorry to hv u join us.. take care okie.. if u find it really warm, i heard that it's ok to turn on the air-con.. dunno what's the logic but apparently air-con is fine, wind from the fan is not..

Ling - U actually bought a microscope to monitor ur saliva?? wahh.. super impressed leh.. guess it's still early for pregnancy symptoms to set in? difficult as it may be, try not to worry too much okie?

On the issue of OPK, can I check when u ladies BD after u get a +ve result? I got my OPK from babydusts.blogspot and it says a +OPK means I'll ovulate within the next 24 to 48hr.. but the strange thing was that I had lots of egg-white like CM the day BEFORE the +ve OPK; and then on the day of the +OPK, just abit of white discharge only...aiyah.. so confused... dunno when to BD and when to rest.. we dun hv stamina to do it everyday!!
 
It is really heart warmining to see you ladies here and I really feel comforted.

Oh Picotin I see. I thought it is literally waiting for the blood to come and then discharge all the remains. For me I took the extra step to have the D&C after taking cyrotec in the morning. When the cyrotec takes effect, it is really scary to see so much blood !

By the way just to check after a few days already, I occasionally see some spotting and sometimes still have some crampy feeling is this normal?

Picotin same thoughts here I think I will very paranoid if I know I am preggie again because of the bad experience that I once had.
 
ppcc, Not a big microscope lah... Is those lipstick size. Anyway works really well in my opinion. =) I think I bought at $30 from one of those online pharmacies last year. Anyway ya trying not to worry... but really so difficult! Like anticipating going to the dentist back when I was 7...

Picotin, It's true, pregnancy will never ever be so simple for us girls who went through such a truma. =( I have not booked an appt with my gynae. So scare and not looking forward. Afraid that I go too early cannot see anything and worry even more. Irony of life~! Anyway going to call and make an appt during lunch time and see what slots they have.

Dustee, Dont overworry.. my period went missing for 12 weeks before I went to the doc. Apparently nothing was wrong so just start doing your count down. =)

Vivi, symptons is normal.. I had spotting for such a long time that I lost track how many days/ months.. as long as it is really spotting that is fine. Reason for that is due to hormonal changes.
 
hi vivi hahahhah so eager ha, yeah wait quite a while lah but before you know it it will be over... I waited quite a while lah 2 to 3 weeks on-off and then my period came, but then after that is wait ....not for period lo....is wait for my husband to want to try lo...
 
JTML you make me shy la... yah I very eager to try la and wish time flies faster...

I think I am more eager to try than my hubby. He also tell me to wait patiently.

After all the hustle of expecting a new member now no more so wanted to quickly fill the gap again.
 
ya lor I also feel like that...Last time my thinking was to have my own freedom , I don't lik eto see the teenagers making crude remarks like "F***" and "CB" especially young girls; I really think I don't want have kids. Then I see those mum screaming at their crying kids somersault on the ground, I really feel for both child and mum...But now after the loss, it is like I don't care...I want baby.
 
Ya baby now it seems to be me like so cute and then my hubby also longed for a baby because he likes kids more than I do.

Now I have this feeling that I owe him one since the baby is lost !
 
vivi:
Is he "owe" you one because your body suffered phyiscally. Now you must take care and make sure your body is good for the next pregnancy. For him is emotional, for you is both emotional and physical ....
Anyway he also sad right, my husband just felt so "angry", I ask him why, he say he seem so helpless, ...cannot ocntrol the situation...I duh....
 
eh vivi: you supposed to rest right, how come keep surfing the web...You like me like that huh use all the medical leave to surf website...hehehhehe...I rested a bit when Lynn say in the forum don't sit too much, then I took the laptop to my bed and surf lying down hahhahhaha
 
My hubby cried and this is the like the first time I see him so sad that I literally stop crying and console him.

No la I am back to work liao.... if I stay more at home I will anyhow think. Like yesterday night suddenly my tears came out when I was alone. Then mu hubby got a shock to see me crying.
 
oh, crying help to makes one feel better, I sercetly tear a few times, then wipe off...

My husband freaked out when I cry in front of doctor during the follow up...He aske doctor, "is it normal" ....so pai seh...I wanted to strangle him...
 
hmmm, hiaz, hopefully next time is our gynae congrats us on the birth of a child and we thank him/her for being such a good gynae...
 
Jtml..

Saw you in Sep 2010 *Cross fingers you struck*

You try testing HPT with urine from morning. Might be able to read something...

=)
 
whoa, so many striking this cycle. good good! babydust to all!
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i'm waiting for AF to come. every month is like a gamble sia.
 
hehe congrats to the mummies who struck. rest well, eat well, and think well (means only positive thoughts!)

at first thought want to TTC again asap (don't mind a tiger baby as long as it is a healthy baby right) but at the rate my AF is taking so loooong to report..... if i wait 3 cycles before i ttc, i guess earliest still rabbit baby? hmmm.
 
Dustee..

I only had 1 cycle of AF after 3 months of waiting before striking... count as 3 months ald lah =P anyway my gynae told me that hence I went ahead to TTC.. so once your period is here you can start TTCing ....
 
thanks ladies...
yeah lynn, it is like a gamble....
hiaz I really hope man... COme on, even if dun have I also happy my 2 weeks waiting is over..the suspense is killing...and worst everything in your life becomes a standstill...
 
Hi ladies,

Just an update, went for 2nd visit to gynae yesday and detected 3mm foetus with HB at 6wk + 1 to 2 days. I was half worried that it's gonna be ectopic cos my first visit at 4+ wk shows nothing. :D

I wasn't excited/thrilled when I saw the scan cos I was really just holding my breath all the while and hoping that things will be ok.

It was only when the scan is over and gynae (more chatty yesday than usual) was explaining how amazing the development of a foetus is that got me a lil more relaxed. He said that the foetus start of with 2 blood vessels and magically form into a heart. It begins its form very much as a prata shape mass and later it gets folded into 2 to form 2 half of the body - the left and the right - perfect symmetry. And then the arms and legs stub will pop out from both side. He was gushing at just how amazing "nature" is.

So sometimes when you look at the things around you and contemplate on creation... the mountains, the plants, animals, life, how water evaporates into clouds, and clouds come down as rain... you wonder if things are the way they are because a certain "randomness" and "coincidence" just causes things to be like that. Or is there much more "planning" behind this. When I look at the whole of creation, I think there's really far too much intricacies behind it to simply conclude that all that are in place is a matter of sheer coincidence. I am just held in awe!

Meanwhile, babydust to all here. I continue to pray hard and hold my breath till the next scan in 2 weeks' time.
 


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