Support group - Miscarriages

[missy_lee]

Hi <font color="0000ff">Autumnloss</font>, i'm sorry to hear wat happened. *BIG HUGZ* to you! pls take gd care of yourself &amp; take lots of tonics. feel free to come in here &amp; join us for a chat.

Hi <font color="ff0000">VerySian</font>, hang in there. things mite not be as bad as wat u tink. i hope everything goes well for u &amp; your bb tmr.

Hi <font color="ff6000">Java</font>, so hapi to hear tat everything went well for u &amp; your bb

blood sugar high huh, u muz haf a sweet toothed leh... muz listen to ur doc &amp; cut dwn on sugary stuff hor.

 

[odie]

Folic... glad to know that everything went well =)

 

[folic]

Good morning gals!

Odie, I think your message was meant for Java

Blurgreen, hi! don't think I have seen your posting before. Sorry to hear that you have also gone through a similar 2nd tri loss. For my case, my waterbag broke prematurely, causing me to go into labour. The doc says that the placenta is jus like a balloon that keeps expanding as the baby grows. Sometimes, the lining is not even and it breaks while expanding. I don't have a reason as to why the waterbag broke but that is the cause of my miscarriage. What happened in your situation?

folic

 

[blur_green]

HI folic

i got post my story i think in jul.... havent been visiting this thread

so i am back now....for me, in jun 04 i went for my daily check up and my gyane told me that my baby got no heart beat already. ask her why, she also got no answer....went for all blood test, it is okie....hence it is a mystery.

so when yours happen? have you start ttc already?

 

[blur_green]

HI folic

i got post my story i think in jul.... havent been visiting this thread

so i am back now....for me, in jun 04 i went for my daily check up and my gyane told me that my baby got no heart beat already. ask her why, she also got no answer....went for all blood test, it is okie....hence it is a mystery.

so when yours happen? have you start ttc already?

 

[folic]

Hi blurgreen

Sorry if I have forgotten you. Must come in more often next time ok?

It is tough not getting an answer, I know... but sometimes, you just have to accept this and move on. I struggled long and hard before I decided to TTC again, cos I don't know what I can do to prevent the same thing from happening again. Anyhow, I just accepted the fact that it is an 'accident' and I pray hard that all will be well for my current pregnancy. I am currently preggie already, 15 weeks now. It took me almost 1 year after the loss to get another baby

folic

 

[tiny]

hello Java, glad your detailed scan went well! Mine will be tomorrow. I think my sugar levels also must be v high cos i haven't been watching my sugar intake much, altho many of my friends have been advising me to! this week still eat a lot of mooncakes..haha.

Blurgreen, sorry to hear abt the news. We all wonder what went wrong but sadly, none of us are given an answer. it's just one of those things even the professionals don't have an answer too.

Verysian, wishing u all the best for today's review.

 

[blur_green]

hi folic

wow..you are preggie now.so envy congrats and take care wor every thing will be fine yah.

 

[blur_green]

Hi folic

may i who is your gyane? do you go back to the same gyane?

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Java!!!
WOW!!! SO happy for you!

Glad that baby is well!!! Bet you and hubby were jumping for joy!! As for blood sugar, be good and watch your diet lah.

I still can't stop smiling....

Hi blur_green
Yah, sometimes, there is no reason to things. As frustrating as it is. But we have to learn to let go.

 

[folic]

blurgreen, my new gynae is Dr Thong at Raffles Hospital. I did not go back to my previous gynae, although I liked her very much. My hubby and family do not like the idea of going back to the same doc.. even same hospital. So I cahnged doc, changed hospital and I liked Dr Thong very much. She gave me a lot of encouragement and she makes me relaxed at every visit. No need to envy.. I am sure your turn will come soon!

folic

 

[blur_green]

folic, so who is your previous gynae? my parent and inlaw all also for bid me to go back to the same gynae and hospital. i think all parents are the same.

 

[tiantian]

Hi Java,

SOOOOO happy that the scan went well.

Did you have a celebration last nite??? Glad that you find Dr TC Chang professional and skillful. I feel more assured now. Remember to watch your sugar level hor..

 

[tiantian]

<font color="ff0000">Hi Very Sian</font>,

Do not give up hope yet. I wish you all the best in your review today.

<font color="0000ff">Hi blurgreen</font>,

sorry to hear abt your loss. Do come here often to chat with us , ok??

<font color="119911">Hi Tiny</font>,

So your detailed scan is today?? All the best to you !! Update us on the results ok?

 

[java]

Thanks everyone for remembering me and my bb in your prayers. Actually I still feel quite apprehensive abt the scan. I'm happy that the bb is healthy, but also hope that the cysts in the brain will go away by Wk 28. The doc said that if the chromosomes is normal, then the cysts will go away, but if not, then it might stay. Since I didn't go for the amnio test, I will not know, so I'm still praying that my bb is ok. But I also thank God that he is healthy. The doc also said that my bb is abit big for his gestational age, so I must really watch my diet.

hi Tiny,
Yes, do update us on your detailed scan.

 

[odie]

Folic... yup that was meant for Java. Paiseh Paiseh

 

[teletubby]

hey java,
VERI HAPPY to hear abt ur scan results!!

*big hugz* do continue to remain positive... i'm sure all will be well for ur nix detailed scan ya...
but do watch ur diet... i'm sure u r in good hands wif folic as ur advisor...

hi Very Sian,
i pray for u dat ur bb is growing well for today's scan... keeping u &amp; ur bb in my prayers...

hi linda,
u mentioned earlier dat for ur previous pregnancy, u were bleeding b4 the D&amp;C? May i know is it like AF-flow or red spottings? i'm veri sorry if it brought back sad memories for u... but i'm rather paranoid now... keep on thinking dat my womb can't 'hold' the bb well.. dat's why i'm bleeding so much... i read from the IVF thread dat doc gave the ladies duphaston to support implantation once they did their procedure... i'm contemplating to do so when i start TTC...

 

[oceans]

<font color="119911">Java</font>, glad that ur detailed scan went well. Oh, ur bb growing big?

He must be very happy swiming inside!!

<font color="0000ff">Very Sian</font>,

in your scan today! Pray that

everythings turn out to be well! Do update us!

<font color="aa00aa">Tiny</font>, keep us posted

on your detailed scan!!

Hmm... is urs a prince or princess???

 

[folic]

blurgreen, my previous gynae is Dr Tanny Chan at Gleneagles.

Tubby, there are many causes for bleeding. Sometimes, it is due to hormone levels, sometimes, it is implantation etc etc. So, duphaston will help in the hormone levels but not in others.

folic

 

[java]

hi folic,
Just now during lunch I ate ban mian, but I change to bee hoon, followed ur advise not to drink the soup. But ate the minced pork, it tasted "sweet", so dunno ok or not. I'm still reading ur GD diet materials.... I think its good for me to know more abt what to eat and not, coz my father is diabetic, so I can lookout for food he should not be eating!!

hi tubby,
I think once u discover u are pregnant and when u tell the gynae that u previously had a miscarriage, some gynaes will usually ask u to eat the duphaston or utrogestan pills (just in case).

hi blur_green,
Did u do a post-mortem? In my first preg, my bb also discovered no heartbeat at 35 wks, after delivery, my previous gynae concluded that it was due to a cord accident (umblical cord around the neck). Also dunno true or not, coz current gynae said that it could be due to infection after reading my medical notes. Anyway like folic, I'm also pregnant again and my gynae is watching me carefully now.

Actually I want to advise all TTCians here who are trying again after a lost to build up on your mental health and be more optimistic. I hope you all dun be like me, always so worried, everytime I go to the clinic for checkup, esp going for ultrasound, my heart beat so fast, I scared I get heart attack.

 

[teletubby]

hi folic,

i suspect it's due to low levels of progesterone dat failed to support the pregnancy for my case.. my post-O temps are rather low... at 36.1 or so.. &amp; i read dat low progesterone levels r usually indicated by low post-O temps... which is why i am paranoid now... aiii...

hi java,
i was thinking if by the time i tested positive, implantation wld hv occured... i wan to take dusphaston be4 implantation... so dat bb wld hv a better chance of implantating properly...

abit KS lah... but i won't leave it to any chance..

 

[blur_green]

Hi java

i did not do post-mortem cos at that time when i realise bb got no heartbeat , the bb actually shrink to about 12 week. somemore gynae say bb already dead liao so no point.

so who is your previous gynae and who is your gyane now? so you are which week preg already?

java and folic, when you all get preg, when visiting ur gyane, beside telling them you miscarriage before, wat documents you also show them? e.g. previous blood test result, previous detail scan, post blood test result?

 

[blur_green]

i realise, i tend to blame the gyane cos that time i told them can i come for check up earlier (e.g. 3 weeks) instead of 4 weeks later but the nurse there dont allow....quite paranoid.....hence i will wonder if they let me come earlier may be can detect earlier.

Next i also realise that why every time i go for scan, my bb always in the same position hence i ask my gyane but she say is normal...

if she check thoroughly and know that baby not strong enuff, should give me some supplement....but she was like everything okie.

when doing detail scan, its like so fast. sigh...really regretted going to that gyane.

 

[oceans]

<font color="119911">Java</font>, i think it is difficult not to worry once confirmed pregnancy! It cant be helped as we had gone thru the lost before!

Yes, try to stay positive!!

I am also working on this part!!

<font color="0077aa">Tubby</font>, dont worry so much hor!!

Try not to think so much on whether if ur womb can hold BB. But rather think more positively and tell urself that u r ready to ttc!

I was also worried about the lining of my uterus too when i first got preggie, especially it appeared that whether i took Duphaston or not, i still had the spotting. And worst, i am allergy to the oil-based injection!

 

[folic]

tubby, you are starting to be your own doctor again!

Actually, if you think that your hormones is out of whack, I think taking EPO will help ( i think you already are, correct?) I think it is important that you trust your next doc, then you can have peace of mind. Otherwise, you will keep second guessing whether his judgement is correct or not.

Blur_green, yes, I brought all my documents to the new gynae. Whatever test results I did during my previous preg, the post mortem, my medical report for the full body check up that I did etc.

folic

 

[java]

hi tubby,
wah piang u veri KS leh, sorrie hope I dun offend u. Must relax!!!! Its only when u relax then implantation can occur. Actually I dunno if the pregnancy test kit can show positive before implantation, I always had the impression that only after implantation then hcg levels will start to increase???

hi blur_green,
I dun wan to reveal my ex-gynae name, only that her clinic is at Mt E. I regret going to her, I remember my hubby and I compared her to the gynae clinic next door from hers. And my ex-gynae clinic has much fewer patients. Initially I went to her becos my ex-colleague recommended her. Usually first preg stupid stupid one, tot any gynae will do.

My current gynae is Dr WK Tan at TMC. I also switched hospital, dun think I can tahan going to the same delivery suite in Mt E. Give me bad memories. This gynae is very thorough and skillful, she's my mum's gynae, also delivered me 26 yrs ago, so u can imagine she is very experienced.

Basically u bring everything, remember to ask your gynae to write you a medical summary of your pregnancy if u dun have already.

 

[teletubby]

dear folic,
hehe... can't help it lah... dis 2 days see my temp so low... i'm like 'ants in a hot pan' liao..
okie.. will relax &amp; dun think too much... eerr.. i did not take EPO... if it really can help 'tame' my hormones, i will go &amp; buy later..

thks...

dear Ocean,
i will try not to think too much... enjoy my er-ren shi jie for now... sometimes, i read abit here &amp; there... &amp; like wat folic says, try to be my own doc, piecing all the information together.. then get paranoid... hehee....

hi blur_green,
for sure i won't go back to my previous gynae again... he's somewhat like ur gynae... over-confident!

 

[blur_green]

hi java

i also regretted going to the previous gyane at TMC. erm i did not ask her to write a medical summary leh...anyway dun wan go back to her again.

 

[blur_green]

Hi all

Any one got bad experience wif Dr ho at mt A?

 

[teletubby]

hi java,
no worries... me not offended lah... i oso admit i am KS liao mah...

u r rite... hcg will onie rise when implantation occurs... so by the time tested positive, implantation occurs liao.. so wan to take duphaston after O-day to fatten up my menstual lining... nix cycle i will zoom down to gynae &amp; ask her wat she think of dis option...

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Teletubby
It started with light pink flow which I thought is norm. Then it became darker to dark pinkish red by afternoon. When I call my gynae, he advised me not to go hospital cos of SARS so I went home at 2pm+ and by 5pm I was , when I squat down at the loo, a big big piece of blood tissue came out. Like our menses clot but much bigger. When I went to clinic (which opens at 7pm) the gestational sac already shrink. I was scheduled for D&amp;C the next day.

I was given duphaston in my first pregnancy when I first saw the gynae but it still didn't work out. For my second one, gynae (another one)only gave me iron with folic and calcium pills. He says no need. And it worked out. So I think it is really God's will. First pregnancy when I was TTC-ing, I was faithfully eating my folic pill too... When I was carrying Tory, non and I smoke a lot too cos I was still upset abt the first and didn't know I was pregnant yet. Luckily Tory turned out fine. So a lot of things really not in our hands. Find a gynae you are comfy with if you do not intend to go back to your old one. Discuss your fears with him/her and ask for advise. I saw Dr Kowa in Mt E. I think he is quite good and very experienced. You might wanna consider.

Hi Java
It is a blessing that your babe is healthy. As for the cysts, we will all pray for you that like what the gyane mentioned, they will go away by themselves after wk28.

Place your faith in God. Abit big is better than too small, I'd like to think it as a sign of well being. Just continue to monitor your blood sugar.

 

[folic]

blur_green, I think it is difficult to come to a closure sometimes. Sometimes, I just tell myself, what is meant to be, will be. I know it is hard and you will keep coming out with all the wat-ifs scenarios. I must have gone through the scenarios in my head a 1000 times and ask why this, why not this, etc etc. For me, I came to a closure after I saw a photo my baby, taken during the post mortem. That was about 4 months after the incident. After that, I just sort of accepted the fact that the baby has gone to heaven and I must move on.

Look for the closure... it will help you move on.

folic

 

[hamasaki]

hi all, during my last pregnancy, i went to the doc and he manage to scan my little dot.. the precious scan photo is still with me but then my hubby insist that I throw it away if i got pregnate the next time..

I can't bear to tear it but he said its a must coz he dun want me to dwell on the dead baby.. he wants me to focus on our new baby..

sometimes i was thinking, can't he be caring and thoughful over this.. Feel so sad when he said this..

 

[miao2]

Hamasaki,
Same here. I can't bear to throw it away. I kept it in an envelope in my diary.

You know what I also did.... I bought a little note book and pasted all the bills that I have spent from the first visit to the gynae's up to the day of the D&amp;C. Very silly lah.. But I just wanted to keep it nicely lor.

I just wanted to keep them for remembrance lor. Oh no.. my tears are falling liao.. Sigh! You know the other day, I was on my way to Orchard from my office-as the bus came pass TMC, I looked up at the hospital then my mind start to wonder and then.... tears fell down again.

 

[whitefloral]

hi

i also kept all the receipts as a rememberance of the lost little one coz i dun have any pics. hubby did viewcam the 1st scan, by the 2nd scan, there was no heartbeat detected and i ask hubby 2 erase the 1st footage.

also thought a lot about the 'what if' but tried not to dwell into it and to think that it was not meant to be.

want to put all these behind me n move on but it is back to bug me. My 1st AF ended 19 Sep and yesterday, i spotted. It's dark red, like wat u see towards end of period. It din go away, now still like that. 2 days already. duno wat's wrong. can't be 2nd AF right? it's only 8 days since 1st one ended. Did any of u experience this?

i emailed my gyane at KK, the nurse called me to say it may happen and no need to see gynae unless it's fresh blood. But she can't offer me an explanation. So i am still not at ease. And it is accompanied by slight pain in the left lower abdomen at times.

 

[hamasaki]

hi miao, i fully understand how U feel. there was a few occasions that juz like U. i took a bus and it happened to pass by the hospital where I got the bad news that I had a miscarriage.. my tears juz started to flow down..

i kept the photos and bills in an envelope too and put it in a bag..

 

[hamasaki]

whitefloral, have U ever thought of asking another doc to solve yr problem. felt that its not too good to spotting..

i tried not to dwell too much abt the past but somehow seems to be so hard.. I can't simply forget it..

 

[jujube]

Hi whitefloral, miao, hamasaki,
i also keep everything (receipts, documents, reports etc) in an envelope. i also have three scan pix of my baby which i still keep in a photo album. i can't bear to throw anything out. no matter what happened, it was still my baby and part of my life history.

hi java!
so good that your scan turned out fine! don't worry unnecessarily about anything yet, keep the faith that all will be right in the end. we are all praying for you and your baby!

hi tubby,
hey, don't think so much now, concentrate on getting your body to the best of health. i am also taking my temps now, and it is really quite interesting to see how it moves through the month! i got a lot of insight from reading toni weschler's 'taking charge of your fertility' which explains bbt charting and much more in detail. you can borrow it from the library if you are interested.

girls,
i just borrowed two booked about miscarriage from the library. i'd stopped looking at miscarriage books and websites for some time already, but saw these and just couldn't resist reaching out and taking them, don't know why. i think it's the incessant need to know know know and hopefully - there's always that hope - that i'll read something that will explain why it happened. i think if i do get pregnant again, java, i will definitely be like you, worried that the ultrasound will reveal something i don't want to see!

 

[verysian]

hi girls,
Went for the review yesterday, was pleasantly surprised that that the sac grew, and there is a yolk sac in there now. So my gynae, said hold the D&amp;C first, see next week got heartbeat or not. So really keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

 

[folic]

Hi gals!

whitefloral/miao/hamasaki, while I think it is important that you keep a memory of the little one that you have lost, it is also important that you must not let this memory hamper you in moving forward. I am sure your little angels will not want you to linger around the sadness.

Hamasaki, I am sure your hubby will let you keep the momento if he is sure that you won't get hurt by it. It's the same way my hubby reacted. Initially, he asked the doc not to tell me about the photo for fear that I might not be able to take it. I discovered the photo accidentally during one of my visit and I took it home. He only let me keep it after knowing that I have calmed down after 4 months and that it is something that will help me overcome the regret that I did not want to hold my baby on that fateful day.

VerySian, glad to hear that the sac has grown. We will continue to pray hard for you!

folic

 

[miao2]

Hi VerySian,
So happy for you...No more Sian liao lah. We'll pray for you..

Rest well and don't think too much over it liao ok!

 

[java]

hi VerySian,
I'm so happy for you. Continue to pray and have faith. Tok to your bb, it helps.

hi miaomiao, hamasaki, jujube, whitefloral,
Like wat folic said, you can keep the memory of the bb you've lost, but dun keep dwelling on the unhappy tots. Its inevitable that you will remember the bad things that happened when you pass thru a place which previously held happiness and sadness, but once you feel yourself sinking into sadness, tell yourself that you will have another bb again. My hubby always tell me to let go of the past, what has passed has passed, what will be will be. I'm a person find it very diff to let go of the past and keep dwelling on it and self pity myself. That's why even now I'm pregnant again, still worry this worry that. No good lar!

hi folic,
I got one question for you. I find that I dun get so hungry so easily when I eat wholemeal bread compared to whitebread. Does it mean wholemeal has more carbohydrates than white bread? Also how come peanut butter can eat, but kaya cannot? I tot both the sugar content also equally high?

 

[oceans]

<font color="119911">Very Sian</font>, I also feel happy for you that the sac is growing!

Maybe previously, u ovulated late and thus still small when u first do the scan. By the way, u r now abt 7wks right? Just like to tell u that there are some pple whose BB's heartbeat can on be seen as late as wk 10. So try to remain positve and rest well.

Praying for you that everything will be good for you!

 

[teletubby]

hi whitefloral,

ur experience wif the spotting sounds exactly wat i've gone thru'.... after my 1st AF finished, abt 7-8 days later, i started spotting again... started wif 'orangish-red' then turned to dark red... it simply kills me to see dat i'm spotting &amp; i oso told the gals here dat it's too early for 2nd AF.... not to scare u, but my spotting lasted 7-8 days.. it turned dark brownish towards the end... i dun think it's 2nd AF for me becos my AF came abt 2 weeks after spotting ends...

if ur cycle is the regular kind, u hv to be prepared dat dis cycle will be delayed due to dis episode of spotting... cos i dun wan u to end up like me 'kan-cheong spider' when i dun see AF coming &amp; waste money on the HPT... unless u r orady starting to TTC for dis cycle...

my 2nd AF is quite light compared to the 1st so i jus attributed it to the spotting i had earlier.. even until now, i still hv phobia dat my spotting can come back to haunt me anytime... every morning, i wake up looking at my bedsheets, veri afraid to see stainings....

do monitor ur spottings &amp; if u r taking BFW, mabbe can wait till ur spotting clears then continue... *big hugz*

hi linda,
thks for sharing ur experience wif me... somehow i jus needed dat confidence booster to move on...
althou i keep on telling myself it's FATE dat a child is urs anot, but still, if there's anything i can do to prevent it, i will do it...

hi VerySian,
glad for u dat ur scan turns out well... rest well for dis week &amp; u'll be able to see ur bb's heartbeat for the nix scan... remain positive ya!!

hi ladies,
i had a box to contain all the ultrasound pics &amp; reports &amp; dat positive HPT... afew weeks back, suddenly i missed my bb so much, i went to open up dat box &amp; started wailing the moment i saw all the stuffs... it was a good cry... i placed dat box veri dearly beside my bed...

 

[folic]

Hi Java,

Wholemeal bread has more fibre, that is why you feel more full

That is why it is important to have more fibre in your meal. You can take less and feel full. I take brown rice for dinner sometimes. I mixed it with white rice, so that it is not so hard. You might want to try it too.
I think peanut butter is not as sweet as jams/kayas. I never really ask why peanut butter can and jam/kaya cannot

I just glad that I can take that! hahaha If you want jam, you might want to try the brand 'stute', the blackcurrent flavour. I find it very nice.

folic

 

[odie]

Hi ladies... yup me too. Keep the ultrasound scan and even the photo of the test kit results. For me I really believe that by facing the fear, agony and sadness face to face and being true to your feelings... one can have a proper closure... just a matter of time. Ignoring something may not always help.

Whitefloral... it could be just your cycle gone haywire... but if it sets your mind at ease to seek professional advice from a gynae... why not just go ahead with it. It is your body and health in question... you call the shots

Very Sian... happy for you that everything is ok. Continue to have faith in yourself.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi tubby

Glad I could be of help. I understand when you mentioned that you want all the info and if there is anything you can prevent, you will. Just keep in mind that whatever it is, dun feel shy to ask for help be it from gynae, frens or pple who have been thru.

Hi VerySian
WOW!!! See??!! There is always hope!!! So happy that your dot has grown!!! All the best &amp; continue to have faith!

Hi Hamasaki, miu, whitefloral
I think it is fine to have memories as long as we not not too affected by it. Like what folic mentioned, if we can be calm and look back at things with peace, then no one shld or can stop us from remembering.
I had my Ah dot first ultrascan (he/ she only had one) pasted in a book with Victoria's ultrasound pics and diary. It is meant for ALL my children. Being the first, I think Ah Dot deserves a place there and I also describe what and how I felt then there. It is a form of rememberance, afterall, he/ she my first.

 

[tiantian]

Hi Very Sian,

Glad to know that the sac is growing. Do keep us informed of your scan next week. In the meantime, stay positive ok??

hi miaomiao, hamasaki, jujube, whitefloral and Tubby,

I am also keeping all the scans and receipts of my last pregnancy. Once in a while, I will tell myself I should be how many months pregnant now should there be no M/C. As my EDD date draw nearer, I will tell my hubby the BB is due soon.

But I tell myself, I must stop somewhere and stop thinking abt the past. What past is past. Our days will come, rite gals??

 

[oceans]

You know, when u all tok abt keeping all the previous scans and receipts, i really dun noe if i shld feel envy or not!

I had all the previous receipts plus the hospital bills. However, i dun hv any scan of my BB

cos KK will never print for u if u never asked. And that was my first visit to KK and i remembered her saying there is a heartbeat but not clear. After that visit, i told myself that i MUST remembered to ask for the scan. And I din even know how big my BB was, and before i knew it, my little angel was gone!

Now that u r mentioned abt this, i sort of feel sad. But maybe it is gd too, so that i wun dwell so much into the past! Just put my little angel in my thots always!

<font color="aa00aa">Tian tian</font>, yes, good good, remain positive!

MUST stay positive!!

Hope to hear gd news frm u!

 

[java]

damn sleepy now zzzzzzzz