Support group - Miscarriages

java · Sep 22, 2004

hi tiantian,
I just replied u.

I think I better go downstairs and walk around. My office doing alot of hammering and sawing.

tiantian · Sep 22, 2004

Hi Tubby,

Happy belated 2nd anniversary. How's dinner last nite?

Hello Folic,

Was the food at the Japanese rest. good?? Price reasonable?? Me alway looking out for good food, esp. jap. food.

Hi Miao2,

I agree with Tiny. I think it will take at least 3 cycles for the menses flow to be back to normal. My 2nd AF was 60 days late and full of red bloody mucus. The 3rd one was better. Hope the next one will be back to normal.

missy_lee · Sep 22, 2004

Tiny, i hope u r not offended by my words... tats juz something new to me, i din noe we grow in our sleep. but like wat Java, its gd to be able to feel ur baby's every movement

Ocean, dun wori too much, ur bb is probably the more gentle type... i'm sure u'll be able to feel her every little kick & movement veri soon.

missy_lee · Sep 22, 2004

Hi Tubby, Folic, how's the dinner last nite? enjoyed yourselves?

tiantian · Sep 22, 2004

Hi Java,

Sorry, me very sotong, how to retrive the PM??

java · Sep 22, 2004

hi tiantian,
Just check ur email which u set in your profile.

odie · Sep 22, 2004

Folic and Tubby... happy anniversary (abit late though

)

Wow... all the mothers talking about movement of babies. Have seen my ex-colleague's baby kicked her before. Very cute to see the little "lump" on her tummy.

Miao2... I have the same experience as you too. Before the MC, my AF will be heavier for the 1st and 2nd day and by the 3rd it will be reduced to just brownish stains. By the 5th day I will be cleared. But after the MC... the 1st to 5th day will be damn heavy... even heavier than before and will take 7 days to clear completely. But my last cycle is more or less back to normal... the flow is not as heavy and by the 5th day I will be clear. Took me 5 cycles to be back to normal. Don't worry too much... and it should not have any effects on your attempts at TTC

folic · Sep 22, 2004

Hi gals!

Dinner last nite was great! eat and eat and eat.. very long never binge like that liao. We changed venue.. decided to go Suntory again. They have sushi buffet at $58+++. I eat all the non raw sushi and many other dishes like tempura,teapot soup, softshell crab etc etc. Even if don eat raw stuff also worth it. Their unagi is very nice.

Prices at Nanja Monja (the Jap restaurant at Allson Hotel) is reasonable.. about $30-$40 each depending on what you order. If you choose to go there, usually better to go with 4-6 ppl. Then can order more variety of dishes to try.

Very jialat.. these two days break my 'good diet' habits... Just brought some ang mos to eat Curry fish head at Samy's (Dempsey Road)... tonite must ask mum to cook 'cheng cheng' food liao!

Miao2, don't worry too much about patterns of AF pre and post mc. I think it really varies by individuals. Even though your cycle might be longer or less predictable, the more important thing is to determine if you are ovulating, either by using the OPK or taking temp.

Tiantian, Good luck for your first 'serious' TTC cycle!

folic

oceans · Sep 22, 2004

Odie, how's ur job searching? Any news?

Yes Java, when there is renovation around, try as much as possible to avoid the area!!

Oh, going downstair? So can go shopping lah??

Since u in Suntec right.....

Hmmm.. so Tubby and Folic, how's the dinner last nite?

Enjoyed yourselves!?!

Tiantian, jia you! jia you!

Must try try try very very hard to remain positive and happy hor!

for you!

Missy, heee.. thks!

I think my gal is either lazy

or just gentle bah!

By the way, u said u r in overseas right? Where r u and when u coming back? So, how's ur preparation for your wedding?

java · Sep 22, 2004

hi folic,
waahhhhh u are making me salivate!!!! curry fish head somemore. ang moh like to eat this kind of food meh?

hi ocean,
yes. I'm in Suntec. I went to carrefour, end up bought a CD. So no good to work in town area, end up spend more money only.

miao2 · Sep 22, 2004

Hi gals, thank you so much for the advices.

I believe my worry is unnecessary 'cos my AF cycles is still in the regulating mode.

Hi java,
My usual AF is about 4-5 days, that's why I start to worry when my current cycle becomes this long. Yes, I'll definitely seek my gynae's help if it carries on much further.

Hi folic,
Yes. I'm quite tempted to try the OPK. Think I'll consider buying it for the next cycle and try it out. Thank you..

folic · Sep 22, 2004

Java, some ang mo more adventurous than others lor... a big group went.. one cleaned up the whole banana leave, one hardly touched anything... almost tempted to drive him to macs after lunch so that he can buy burgers.

They find it cool to eat on banana leaves lor.

folic

missy_lee · Sep 22, 2004

Folic, u r making me drooling... i luv jap food esp the unagi sushi, my fav. btw where's Suntory at?

Ocean, me now in U.S. wif my hubby. he's been posted here to work for 2 years & we will be returning to sgp veri soon, tis Dec. i'm not really doin a lot of prep for my wedding, can't do much at the moment. juz sourcing on the net for hotel & bridal packages & the wedding songs. maybe u gals can recommend me some gd bridal shop or hotel? i've in mind Hotel New Otani, anyone had their wedding there or attended a wedding there? can share ur views wif me?

java · Sep 22, 2004

hi folic,
Maybe eating on banana leaves is something they seldom do. u never ask him to eat using his hands? My ex-boss who is a New Zealander loves satay.

I'm really falling asleep here...zzzzzz just that the hammering sounds are so distracting!

folic · Sep 22, 2004

missy, Suntory is at Hotel InterCon.

I have not attended any wedding at Hotel New Otani, so can't give comments. My wedding is at Merchant Court and my bridal studio is milan. My photos are taken at o studio, which has a link with milan, so it's sort of package.

folic

odie · Sep 22, 2004

Hi Ocean... aiyah, no news at all. So still keeping a lookout

Missy... I did my gown at Silhouette... strongly recommend them =)

teletubby · Sep 22, 2004

hi ladies,
wow... dis thread is running fast... cldn't catch up liao... *pant pant*

dinner was great last nite... we had dinner at 'The Oaks' (tanglin mall)... i had the most delicious grilled steak ever... well marinated outside & the meat is super tender inside... yum yum...

my hubby ordered ribs... hahha... we r both meat lovers... i neber tried food over there becos due to 'vain-ness', i refused to eat when i'm wearing my tight dress for fear my tummy will protrude out... so last nite, i took revenge by eating until my stomach almost exploded... hahaa...

hi java,
mine is a ROM anniversary...

it's a veri hot date as mentioned by folic... my JP told me he has 8 weddings to officiate on dat day...

luckily he managed to squeeze in for my time slot.. sure brings back alot of memories when i'm there last nite... was staring at the lil' room where i took my vows...

java,
sorrie.. forgot to ans ur previous qn... i do not hv backache probs, & my discharge is okie lah... thks for ur advice on TCM...

tiantian..
mabbe it's my AF dat has gone haywire... not due to TCM... let's see how for dis cycle... i am still taking BFW after AF clears now..

hi miao,
as others had shared wif u abt their AFs after m/c, i oso had the same fear as u dat my cycle is not stable yet... *big hugz* like wat the rest says, it takes time for our body to tune back...

oceans · Sep 22, 2004

You know Tubby, i feel happy that you are relaxing and enjoying yourself now!!

Great to learn that both you and Folic are enjoying your Aniversary Dinner!!

miao2 · Sep 22, 2004

Hi Tubby,
I also agree with Ocean leh.. So glad that you are feeling better now. Think I have to learn to relax more.

You know hor, my wedding anniversary also in Sept leh. It's 28 Sept. That's our actual wedding day.
Same like you - it will be our 2nd anniversary liao but we are not so romantic lah. No candlelit dinner like you have

Sigh!! Time really flies hor..

teletubby · Sep 22, 2004

hi Ocean,
ya, i'm glad i'm able to see more 'open' lately.. i jus hv 1 more hurdle to pass... dat is to visit my fren who has jus given birth 1 mth ago... after my m/c, i told her to gimme time to heal... since then, we hv not been talking..

hope she understands...

hey miao,
thks for encouraging me along the way as well...

guess for us, althou RELAX is the keyword, but once we see something unusual, sure will 'gan chiong' one lah... it's good dat we can all voiced out our fears here, & getting reassured by frens who hv been thru' the same path as well...

Happy wedding anniversary to U as well... we oso not dat romantic lah... dint celebrate last yr ROM anniversary leh... cos my customary in May03, so dint bother to plan anything in Sept.. hehe... so dis yr jus go back to Oaks to eat lor...

go & discuss wif hubby tonite on where to eat out nix week... a simple dinner is a veri sweet way to remember our special day liao..

tiny · Sep 22, 2004

Hi there,
Looks like Tubby & Folic enjoyed a great feast last night! That's great!

It's your special day!

Missy, don't worry, i'm not offended at all. in fact i was wondering why u said that, so i went back to read your post, nothing offensive what! not to worry, i'm not easily offended one.

But I've really heard it leh, that children must sleep more so that they can grow!

Folic/Java, I guess the ang mohs find such things exotic lor. even like using chopsticks, they will try cos very cool (oriental) mah!

Miao, your anniversary also coming soon huh? Thought of how to celebrate? Looks like Sept is a popular month!

missy_lee · Sep 23, 2004

Hi Tubby, i understand how u feel abt ur frenz giving birth. i have the same thing happening to me, in fact, rite now i'm surrounded by so many preggie frenz & frenz whom haf juz given birth... its was veri hard initially when i juz had my miscarriage, i couldn't bear to see them wif their belly showing. i kept tinking how cum i'm not the one preggie, worst still, 1 of my gd fren's EDD was 2 mth earlier than me & she gave birth to a healthy bb gal. i felt happy for her but at the same time, felt sad for myself. but i felt better as time goes by, like u said, i'm see more 'open' now. i noe tis kinda thing can't be rush, & "RELAX" is reali impt when ttc.

Miao & Tubby, let's all jia you together... i'm sure our turn will cum veri soon

missy_lee · Sep 23, 2004

Hi Tiny, i'm glad u said tat, i'm juz worried i mite haf accidentally offended u wif my words.

Hi Miao, so ur anniversay coming soon too huh. 2004 Sept is really a gd mth to get married hor... me thot of having my weddding in sept 05. but my MIL said 2005 Sept is not a veri aususpicious mth. So how do u intend to celebrate tis special day?

Hi Folic, Tiny, Java, ang mohs are really intrigued by oriental stuff. the ang mohs in U.S. are really into chinese characters, they love to tattoo it onto their bodies. i dun tink they even noe wat the characters mean

teletubby · Sep 23, 2004

hi missy_lee,
u hv basically said out wat i'm feeling towards dis fren of mine... it was really veri veri hard for me... we were pretty close frens... she had a difficult 1st trimester but things turned out to be fine for her... so she keep wanting to tok to me after my m/c, saying dat she "understands" wat i've been thru'.... i almost wanna slap her when i heard her saying dat!!! dat was 3 mths back lah...

i mean she cld onie understands dat difficult 4 weeks dat i had when i'm preggie... BUT NOT for the m/c.... well well... i must move thru' dis obstacle myself...

okie.. busy day ahead... cos 1 colleague on leave... damn.. i got lotsa things arrowed at me liao.... tok later, if possible!!

folic · Sep 23, 2004

HI tubby, glad you had a great time as well!

Miao, even no candlelight dinner also can have celebration.. mine also no candles! haha! But my first anniversary was bitter sweet. I went to Japan to take a break after the loss. On our anniversary, we happened to be at the most expensive ryokan which we paid for. (coincidental, not planned) But it was a fantastic experience. That ryokan also had private onsen, which means that my hubby and I can get to soak together instead of going to separate baths. Then, at dinner, cos the ryokan was fully booked, they could not set our dinner table at the main dining hall. So, they gave us a separate room (which is actually their library) and we had the whole room to ourselves. They were quite apologetic about it, but we liked it better cos they even on the hi-fi and played classical songs for us. One of the songs happened to be Canon D, the song which we used for our march in

Anyway, the 1st anniversary is really sweet for us... it's like we went through such a big battle and we are celebrating the closer bond that the incident had brought us.

missy, yah.. once, I was at one airport once (can't remember where) and an ang mo came to me and asked if I know how to read the characters on the t-shirt. I think he was expecting some cool words cos there were some dragon or some oriental type of border around the words. He looked really disappointed whenn I told him it is pronounced as " mu4 chu2" or wooden cupboard! hahaha!

sorry.. got carried away.. am sitting in a meeting room for all day mtgs.

chat later!

folic

java_feeling_sore · Sep 23, 2004

hi missy_lee,
Its really normal to feel sad when u see preggies and babies after ur mc. Or even feel resentment towards frens who have successfully gave birth to their babies. Just keep telling yourself that your chance will come soon.

Yesterday I was quite angry with my hubby. We were watching the Ch 8's School Belle, yesterday they were at Nanyang Poly. My hubby commented that the girls chosen are not pretty at all, coz last time he work near there and often go NYP for lunch. He say he saw many other girls much more prettier. Then I say why men like to look at young girls, then he say "innocent mah". I say I also not very old wat, still considered mid-20s. He say I considered "stale liao". Wah lau I was so angry, hit his head with a pillow. I told him he is the one who make me stale one. I dunno why your hubbies like Tiny and Folic's so nice and sweet to you all, then my hubby always say bad things abt me. He always say he is just joking, but I prefer if he can praise me, like say I look pretty today or something lah. After all I'm carrying his child mah. My hubby is not that kind who publicly show his affections.

folic · Sep 23, 2004

Hi Java,

don't be angry lah! My hubby is no angel either lah! He will call me fei po (fat woman) at home one

And it will kill him to buy me flowers as well. Last time chase me still got 1 or 2 bouquets. Now, I must suan him then might get some. He bought me 2 stalks of sunflowers wrapped in plain paper at Holland Village on Monday.. almost like I go market and buy some flowers like that..

Must have confidence in yourself lah!

folic

java · Sep 23, 2004

hi tubby,
Wah I didn't know u so violent, wan to slap ur fren. Sometimes ppl are not tactful and sensitive enough and they end up saying things hurting the person further. I think its better they dun say anything at all.

hi folic,
Same same, I must hint hint to him that he long time never give me flowers liao, then he will bring me to the flower shop to buy. Wah piang. I mean flowers are meant to be surprises mah! He dun like to be seen publicly carrying flowers, so all along during the courtship days, he will give me a plastic bag with the bouquet of flowers inside! As my birthday is approaching, I will see what he plan on that day.

odie · Sep 23, 2004

Hey Tubby... like you, I too felt that unless one has gone through a m/c... she will never truly understand. The resentment is unavoidable. But then again... if you look at it from their stand, they wouldn't know what to say either other than to offer a few general comforting words. After having walked out from that phase... the resentment is not as strong now and I wish that people around will never get to understand how I had felt... because I hope that all babies will be healthy and have a chance to come to this world

Java_feeling_sore... I hope you are now "Java_not_so_sore" liao

I'm sure your hubby is only joking with you. Men are visual creatures (some women too). At least he lets you know that he looks at other women... it means he has nothing to hide. Those who deny are usually because they have something to hide

Must have confidence in yourself.

oceans · Sep 23, 2004

Tubby, i guess maybe she meant well, but i agreed that she will not really understd the actual loss & feeling that we had gone thru...

But at least, she will have more empathy and would not like some who said that being preggie is easy!!

Oh Missy, so u be coming back in Dec'04?

That's good!!

For Hotel Otani, is it the one near Clarke Quay?

tiantian · Sep 23, 2004

Hi Missy,

I had my wedding dinner at Otani. Ballroom is very big and spacious. Need to commit at least 30 tables. The stage is big and high and all guests can see the stage.

We were given a suite to stay for the night. I tell you, the room was superb man with jazucci thrown in. Toilet as big as two HDB master bedroom.

My only complaint is the food, most of my relatives complain that the food is tasteless and cold.

As I had my wedding quite a few years back not sure if anything has changed. Hope the standard of the food has improved.

oceans · Sep 23, 2004

Java, my hubby also the same!!

We switch channels and happened to see the School Belles and he said not so pretty wat!!

He also like to say i fat fat, not pretty, hair in a mess lah.... So angry with him too.

As for flowers, think no need to give me lah... Now i more practical, think better dun waste money!

Folic, ur hubby said u "fei", but he still bring u out to try on so many nice foods. How come huh?

hamasaki · Sep 23, 2004

hi ladies, saw so many postings and couldn't catch up with U all..

anyway, wishing U all happiness and good health..

tiantian · Sep 23, 2004

Hi Java,

Are you feeling better now??

My husband also sama sama leh. He never know if I am wearing a new dress or carrying a new bag. Sometimes when I ask him if wearing a certain dress or a different hair style will make me 5 years younger or not. Guess what he say?? "Ya, definately, 5 years ago lor". He also complain that I look like aunty sometimes.

Aiya, think all men are like that one. During courtship always say I very pretty and sweet looking. Now, he says very muchy to say those words again. ha !

folic · Sep 23, 2004

Ocean, you are wrong.. it is ME who BRING him to eat!

folic

java_not_so_sore · Sep 23, 2004

hi tiantian, odie,
I'm ok lah. Maybe I'm having the quarter life crisis where I start envying the sweet young things!

hi tiantian,
hahahaha ur hubby even more good at suaning than my hubby. My frens always say I very lucky, got a hubby with such good sense of humour. I always think to myself "yah right!"

hi folic,
Since u always bring ur hubby to go and eat, ur hubby got put on weight since wedding?

now I'm reading my story book, waiting to knock off at 5.30pm!

java · Sep 23, 2004

This morning I came into office, fearing that there is still workers doing reno. Found out from my colleague that they have completed their job yesterday evening. yeah!!! no more hammering and drilling!!

oceans · Sep 23, 2004

Folic, if hor, that is my hubby hor, he would told me i eat lesser!! Urs hor, still happily go with you and eat together!

Tiantian, new handbag!!

Of cos wun notice lah!! If he notice, probably wld ask u why u spend so much money!!

oceans · Sep 23, 2004

Oh Java, i buay tahan u!

Reading story books????? *****i faint liao.....***

folic · Sep 23, 2004

Java, yes, he got put on weight but still thinner than me for sure.

Ocean, cos when he chase me, I already fat, so no disillusion there! hhahaha

folic

java · Sep 23, 2004

hi ocean,
if only this is my job for the rest of my life. Get paid to read story books, surf net, email frens and falling asleep. I think I sound like a lazy person to you all.

hi folic,
At least u know ur hubby does not go for appearances!

1 hour more to go......

folic · Sep 23, 2004

Java, really buay tahan you! finish your story book already or not? think me and hubby got together really fate lah.. his ex galfren quite pretty one leh

folic

java · Sep 23, 2004

hi folic,
Never lah, as I was flipping to the next page, my eyes shutting liao. So went to sleep for awhile. Now going to toilet, then pack my stuff and go home liao. Me feeling so sleepy, coz last night didn't sleep well. So how did u attract ur hubby? If not looks, then must be your friendly face and sincere character. How are you nowadays? Do you still have nausea? BTW tiantian and I were tokking abt meeting up for lunch, so when will u be coming down to Suntec?

java · Sep 23, 2004

BTW I dunno how many of you here remember bebechic? I read from the Year End mummies thread that she is in Wk 39, meaning delivering soon. So happy for her!

oceans · Sep 23, 2004

Java, yap, i remember her!! Really, she is in Wk 39 liao? So fast hor!!

But when it comes to ourself, i think it takes ages!

Hahahaa...

Java, enjoy ur freedom!! I never been so free before in my job to read story book, go shopping....

Folic, my hubby got an impression that i am thinner during courtship time. But when he looked back those photos, he said how come i last time also so fat huh???

Alamak, angry with him. Then hubby wld said i now worst, more and more fat!! Grrrrr..

So Folic, u so nice, at least ur hubby cant complain that u "fei" or what lah!! Hmmm... u must be really sweet then. I know some gals who are abit chubby, but they are very sweet and pleasant looking too!!

tiny · Sep 23, 2004

Hi Java...not sore anymore huh? Aiyah, my hubby also not that sweet all the time what...he doesn't buy me flowers anymore! Last time when he was courting me he actually sewed a pillow for me (can you imagine that? There was even a blood stain on one part cos he pricked his finger) but that was in 13 years ago!! I haven't gotten flowers in the last ten years...other people's hubbies always seem better lah. we just have to appreciate those little things they do lor. Like when my hubby does the housework now (like once in dunno how many weeks, and of course different standard kind - like hanging out the underwear rolled up in balls...) I must remind myself "He's trying...."!!! What to do?!!?

Tubby, I guess your friend didn't really know what to say and wanted to comfort you lor. But anyway like u say she won't really understand. After a few months when you are able to talk about it, maybe then you can explain to her that you didn't really want to avoid her on purpose , I'm sure she will understand.

pregnantbride2b · Sep 23, 2004

Hello gals...
Can I join you gals? I was reading this thread last nite and had night mares for the past few days. My day to see the doc finally came and my baby is dead inside me already

Is there sixth sense or something? Tomolo will be clean and clear liao... Wish me luck can strike again after the operation tomolo...

Wish you all luck to strike too...

missy_lee · Sep 24, 2004

U, i'm so sorry to hear tat *BIG HUGZ*
u can come in here & chat wif us. take gd care.

Hi Tubby, i hope u feel beta aft your venting. yeah, no one will understand how we truly feel unless they been thru wat we did. u can tok to me if u want, feel free to rant & vent

i'm always here for u

life goes on rite, tomorrow will be a better day!

Hi Folic, my hubby lagi worse, nvr even buy flowers for me during our courtship. haf to drop so many hints to him, he did brought me roses for my b'day recently. at least something

wah... wat a sweet & romantic 1st anniversary u had. me so full of envy leh... i hope my hubby will do something romantic for our 2nd anniversary too.

Hi Java, dun be mad, i'm sure your hubby dun mean wat he said. guys r like tat one lah, they r not as sensitive as women. i'm sure u r still the prettiest gal in his eyes. my hubby oso the same mah, like to look at pretty gal but i dun mind at all lah, he can oni look but can't do anything mah

i guez its man's natural instinct to ogle at beautiful things.

Hi Ocean, yup! Otani is the one near clarke quay. looking forward to the day i return to sgp. i miz the food

*drools*

Hi Tiantian, so u had ur wedding at Otani huh... other than the food, i guez everything was ok for u. i read from other threads abt Otani, the comments on the food was gd. maybe they change their chefs liao. i heard they r goin to change their management next yr, hopefully their standard will be better. anyway, i'm goin to source ard for some more hotels.

folic · Sep 24, 2004

Hi Java, yah, I remember bebechic but has not seen her posting recently. Maybe she popped already?

I can go down to Suntec next week, either Mon/Tues/Fri. Just sms me when, ok?

U, Sorry to hear that. I read about your situation in some of your earlier situations. I hope you get better soon. Perhaps it is also good that you can now have a chance to remove the fibroids and recover to have a better health for another baby soon. BIG HUGZ!

folic

java · Sep 24, 2004

How is the max weight a preggie can carry? Just now I was shifting seat and carried my laptop, I think should be ok lah hor?

This Monday 27 Sept will be my appt with Dr TC Chang for the detailed scan, it will also give me any markers if my bb has DS or not. Pls pray for me that my bb will be ok. I dunno if I can log in on Monday afternoon to update u all, coz my hubby took leave, so may be going out after that. Really depends on our mood after the scan. If not then I will post the next day.

hi Tiny,
true true. My hubby also do most of the housework, like mopping, etc. Last time when I stayed at home, esp during the first 3 mths having bad MS, he buy food back for me everyday. I guess they show their affections in a different way as compared to during courtship period.

hi U,
I'm sorry to hear abt your case. So tomorrow you are going for D&C? I pray that you have a smooth and painless op! take care and take more tang kwai soup to "bu" your body!

hi missy,
no lar I'm not mad. My hubby not only look at beautiful "objects", his neck will turn and follow the "object", until it disappear from his sight! buay tahan, then I will pull his ear back to look at me.

hi folic,
Not sure if she pop already. I remembered she was one of the first to get pregnant again. We still got a long way to go. Most prob meet on Fri, I will keep u updated.

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