linda_thea
New Member
Hi worried1,
Glad to hear from you. Thank you for your well wishes we are doing fine.
And I am glad that you are too.
Glad to hear from you. Thank you for your well wishes we are doing fine.
Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
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snowcat1
Guest
Hi Folic,
I cried when I read your posting,coz I totally understand how you feel. Some of u would remember me when I lost my baby in June. I was 8 months preggie then. Don't worry Folic, my baby Jordan will take care of Baby Jie in heaven.
Whenever I start to have depressing thoughts, I lift up my depression to God. I'm have been back to work for almost a month after my 2 months maternity. I still get emotional relapses, but now reduce to 2 weeks once. My 2nd menses just finish, will try again after Sept, coz last Sept was when I conceived, and want to keep the month as a remembrance for Jordan.
Linda,
I am very happy for you and you are my source of inspiration. Keep the faith!
I am building my mental health now, coz I dun wan to break down often when I'm pregnant with another baby.
Sometimes I really wish I can meet up with you all. I really feel closer to you all than any of my frens now, simply because we have shared a common kind of lost.
I cried when I read your posting,coz I totally understand how you feel. Some of u would remember me when I lost my baby in June. I was 8 months preggie then. Don't worry Folic, my baby Jordan will take care of Baby Jie in heaven.
Whenever I start to have depressing thoughts, I lift up my depression to God. I'm have been back to work for almost a month after my 2 months maternity. I still get emotional relapses, but now reduce to 2 weeks once. My 2nd menses just finish, will try again after Sept, coz last Sept was when I conceived, and want to keep the month as a remembrance for Jordan.
Linda,
I am very happy for you and you are my source of inspiration. Keep the faith!
I am building my mental health now, coz I dun wan to break down often when I'm pregnant with another baby.
Sometimes I really wish I can meet up with you all. I really feel closer to you all than any of my frens now, simply because we have shared a common kind of lost.
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bebechic
Guest
snowcat..
me intend to try in oct too!!..hope we can haf future healthy baby n smooth pregnancy together!!
me intend to try in oct too!!..hope we can haf future healthy baby n smooth pregnancy together!!
linda_thea
New Member
Hi Snowcat,
Thanks and I am trying to. It has not been easy, the scrutinizing of my own panties, monitoring very pain and discomfort. But I guess somehow, this baby was blessed to me. Never have I taken for granted that I will have him/her by my side. Jus taking each day as it comes.
I feel like you. I guess maybe those who have lost knows how is it like. Maybe we could meet up too?
Hi bebechic,
Good! I wish you every success in your upcoming 'task'!
Thanks and I am trying to. It has not been easy, the scrutinizing of my own panties, monitoring very pain and discomfort. But I guess somehow, this baby was blessed to me. Never have I taken for granted that I will have him/her by my side. Jus taking each day as it comes.
I feel like you. I guess maybe those who have lost knows how is it like. Maybe we could meet up too?
Hi bebechic,
Good! I wish you every success in your upcoming 'task'!
Hi snowcat,
thanks for your msg. I was thinking about you as well these few days... cos I remembered your story. To be honest, I can relate so much better to what you have gone through now that I have been through similar ordeal...much more than when you first told your story.
It is tough trying to do this confinement thing without the baby. It happened in the second trimester which is supposed to be the 'golden period' of the pregnancy...
Strangely, I did not feel the turmoil of emotions...perhaps I am numbing myself in some ways. I cried till I can't cry anymore in the first two days. I even managed to ask my hubby about baby Jie yesterday evening.
I am glad to hear that you are back at work, and slowly recovering from the pain. I hope that one day, I will be where you are... building up sufficient courage to move on.
folic
thanks for your msg. I was thinking about you as well these few days... cos I remembered your story. To be honest, I can relate so much better to what you have gone through now that I have been through similar ordeal...much more than when you first told your story.
It is tough trying to do this confinement thing without the baby. It happened in the second trimester which is supposed to be the 'golden period' of the pregnancy...
Strangely, I did not feel the turmoil of emotions...perhaps I am numbing myself in some ways. I cried till I can't cry anymore in the first two days. I even managed to ask my hubby about baby Jie yesterday evening.
I am glad to hear that you are back at work, and slowly recovering from the pain. I hope that one day, I will be where you are... building up sufficient courage to move on.
folic
Hi Linda,
It must be tough to overcome the shadow of the previous pregnancy. I still remember the fear of going to the toilet... afraid that I would see red. And somehow, the pregnancy hormone does not make it any easier to get over the paranoia. Treasure your moment with this little one...they say each pregnancy is different... being too detached or too negative might affect this little one
folic
It must be tough to overcome the shadow of the previous pregnancy. I still remember the fear of going to the toilet... afraid that I would see red. And somehow, the pregnancy hormone does not make it any easier to get over the paranoia. Treasure your moment with this little one...they say each pregnancy is different... being too detached or too negative might affect this little one
folic
Hi snowcat,
I have a couple of medical questions for you...
1. when did you stop bleeding after the delivery?
2. when did your first menses come?
My doc told me that this bleeding will take about 1 month to stop and that my first menses will come only 2-3 months... is that the case with you?
folic
I have a couple of medical questions for you...
1. when did you stop bleeding after the delivery?
2. when did your first menses come?
My doc told me that this bleeding will take about 1 month to stop and that my first menses will come only 2-3 months... is that the case with you?
folic
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snowcat1
Guest
Hi folic,
I'm glad u remembered me. Be strong! Right now, just think about resting. Later on, u can start to exercise to build up your health. When u start exercising u will actually feel better. In fact during my 2nd month of maternity leave. I went for snorkelling on an island off Bangkok and another time in Malaysia. I guess doing my favourite things help me to gain my confidence faster. Initially seeing pregnancy ladies and babies will make your heart ache, but just remind yourself that you will be pregnant again.
To answer your questions.
1. I think I stopped bleeding abt 3 weeks plus. I dunno if that's considered long or what, but my mum kept cooking this chinese herbal soup that's supposed to flush out the "bad" blood from the uterus.
2. My menses came the next month. If you did not carry the baby to full term, your menses will come on the following month.
Actually I have some questions too. Until now, I still have alot of vaginal discharge, does anyone know roughly when it will stop?
I'm glad u remembered me. Be strong! Right now, just think about resting. Later on, u can start to exercise to build up your health. When u start exercising u will actually feel better. In fact during my 2nd month of maternity leave. I went for snorkelling on an island off Bangkok and another time in Malaysia. I guess doing my favourite things help me to gain my confidence faster. Initially seeing pregnancy ladies and babies will make your heart ache, but just remind yourself that you will be pregnant again.
To answer your questions.
1. I think I stopped bleeding abt 3 weeks plus. I dunno if that's considered long or what, but my mum kept cooking this chinese herbal soup that's supposed to flush out the "bad" blood from the uterus.
2. My menses came the next month. If you did not carry the baby to full term, your menses will come on the following month.
Actually I have some questions too. Until now, I still have alot of vaginal discharge, does anyone know roughly when it will stop?
Hi, I am from the other thread Baby in this tough time and I know I have no business coming into here since I have my own problem to solve but after reading through the thread I can really felt the deep lost, grieve, helplessness and sadness that you all have when you lost your baby that really impact me a lot and at sometimes my tears well in my eyes reading your posting, my deepest sympathy to all of you. However, I also admire your never said die and ever-optimistic attitude, getting pregnant again a short while after miscarriage, this show how strong a will you all have of wanting to have your won child and become a mother.
I know I will never fully understand how you all feel for losing your baby but I may very soon for a wrong reason, sigh.
May god bless all of you and be with those lost child in heaven.
I know I will never fully understand how you all feel for losing your baby but I may very soon for a wrong reason, sigh.
May god bless all of you and be with those lost child in heaven.
Hi Snowcat,
Thanks for your reply. I am not bleeding a lot but it is quite irritating to have the bleeding going on for almost a month! I will not have 2 months maternity... only 1 month of medical leave. I will go for a short trip with my hubby before I return to the office. I think I need that before I can face the world. I was chatting on MSN with my colleagues and many of my team mates burst into tears halfway through a meeting, when they receive my mail (similar to the posting I made here). I don't want to breakdown again when I get back to the office... I don't think I can handle the sympathetic looks although I know they meant well.
folic
Thanks for your reply. I am not bleeding a lot but it is quite irritating to have the bleeding going on for almost a month! I will not have 2 months maternity... only 1 month of medical leave. I will go for a short trip with my hubby before I return to the office. I think I need that before I can face the world. I was chatting on MSN with my colleagues and many of my team mates burst into tears halfway through a meeting, when they receive my mail (similar to the posting I made here). I don't want to breakdown again when I get back to the office... I don't think I can handle the sympathetic looks although I know they meant well.
folic
Clarine, I read about your posting in the other thread. Such decisions are tough to make and very personal as well. From my perspective, I can tell you that it is quite a trauma to deal with the loss, whether by choice or otherwise. Your financial situation may not be as bad you think it to be and one is never really ever ready to be a parent. I guess it is something that just comes naturally. When I had my baby, my hubby is not 'ready' to be a parent either... he is more like a kid himself. But throughout the pregnancy, he slowly got used to the idea and was even more enthusiastic about it than me. Just two weeks before the unfortunate incident, he went on a business trip to US and bought tons of baby clothes and feeling mighty pleased with himself.
Do take care of yourself and have a good heart to heart talk with your hubby. It is really not the end of the world yet... cheers!
folic
Do take care of yourself and have a good heart to heart talk with your hubby. It is really not the end of the world yet... cheers!
folic
linda_thea
New Member
Hi Amelia,
Thanks for the well wishes. I will try very hard to take good care of myself.
Hi folic,
It is good to take a short break before you go back to work. Just make sure you are well enough to travel though.
Thanks for the well wishes. I will try very hard to take good care of myself.
Hi folic,
It is good to take a short break before you go back to work. Just make sure you are well enough to travel though.
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snowcat1
Guest
Hi folic,
Don't worry so much about your colleagues giving u sympathetic looks. When I went back to office, I just pretended nothing happened. I only spoke truthfully to some of my closer colleagues. Life must move on. Its good to go for a short trip. You will definitely feel much better. Do you mind me asking you something? Is it possible to put your baby in ICU to try to let him breathe on his own or something? Couldn't the hospital or doctors do more to save your baby? How come your doctor advise you to only start trying 6 months later? Why not earlier?
Don't worry so much about your colleagues giving u sympathetic looks. When I went back to office, I just pretended nothing happened. I only spoke truthfully to some of my closer colleagues. Life must move on. Its good to go for a short trip. You will definitely feel much better. Do you mind me asking you something? Is it possible to put your baby in ICU to try to let him breathe on his own or something? Couldn't the hospital or doctors do more to save your baby? How come your doctor advise you to only start trying 6 months later? Why not earlier?
Hi snowcat,
The miscarriage happened at week 22-23. Medically, the baby is still considered a fetus and is not possible for the baby to survive independently, either with ICU or whatever. My doc says that the baby is not fully developed enough, especially the lungs. If it had happened after week 30 or something, she would have injected the medication to strengthen the baby's lungs before delivering the baby. Unfortunately, at week 22-23, it is virtually impossible and so far no one has been able to save a baby delivered at week 22.
I think my gynae tend to be the cautious type, hence the longer waiting period. Also, I would like to lose some weight before trying again... Hopefully, this will provide a healthier environment for the baby and also reduce some of the complications that I have - such as gestational diabetes and thyroid. Both the gynae and the specialist whom I am seeing for diabetes think that it will be better if I try to lose about 3-5 kg. My weight before pregnancy is 69kg. While there are many people who have successfully given birth despite being more overweight than me, and that the miscarriage has nothing to do with me being overweight, I might as well try to do something than nothing at all...
Since you are trying again in Oct, it seems that the doctor did not tell you to wait that long? I read on the web that most will ask to wait for 2 months but these are usually for miscarriages in the first trimester. Those who waited also said that there is no medical reason to wait.. just that the doctor wanted the cycles to become more regulated. But I guess that since we have carried the baby for more than one trimester, it is closer to a full pregnancy than a first trimester miscarriage. Normally, even when you give birth, doctors would advice a 6 months lapse before trying, so as to give the womb a chance to recover and also to be prepared for the next pregnancy.
folic
The miscarriage happened at week 22-23. Medically, the baby is still considered a fetus and is not possible for the baby to survive independently, either with ICU or whatever. My doc says that the baby is not fully developed enough, especially the lungs. If it had happened after week 30 or something, she would have injected the medication to strengthen the baby's lungs before delivering the baby. Unfortunately, at week 22-23, it is virtually impossible and so far no one has been able to save a baby delivered at week 22.
I think my gynae tend to be the cautious type, hence the longer waiting period. Also, I would like to lose some weight before trying again... Hopefully, this will provide a healthier environment for the baby and also reduce some of the complications that I have - such as gestational diabetes and thyroid. Both the gynae and the specialist whom I am seeing for diabetes think that it will be better if I try to lose about 3-5 kg. My weight before pregnancy is 69kg. While there are many people who have successfully given birth despite being more overweight than me, and that the miscarriage has nothing to do with me being overweight, I might as well try to do something than nothing at all...
Since you are trying again in Oct, it seems that the doctor did not tell you to wait that long? I read on the web that most will ask to wait for 2 months but these are usually for miscarriages in the first trimester. Those who waited also said that there is no medical reason to wait.. just that the doctor wanted the cycles to become more regulated. But I guess that since we have carried the baby for more than one trimester, it is closer to a full pregnancy than a first trimester miscarriage. Normally, even when you give birth, doctors would advice a 6 months lapse before trying, so as to give the womb a chance to recover and also to be prepared for the next pregnancy.
folic
Hi Folic,
Good to hear that you r going to a resort, its a good way to relax your mind and prepare yourself to face the working world again! I hope you will hv a good time there!
I miscarriaged at 9 weeks and my dr told me to only try again after the 3rd month. I totally agree with him as I feel that after the evac somehow my womb has weaken a lot and i want it to recover well before i try again. After my evac, I had this huge urge to wanna try again ASAP so that i could replace my loss but after calming down, I tell myself to take it easy, not to push myself too hard. For me, maybe after March next year, I will start trying.
Good to hear that you r going to a resort, its a good way to relax your mind and prepare yourself to face the working world again! I hope you will hv a good time there!
I miscarriaged at 9 weeks and my dr told me to only try again after the 3rd month. I totally agree with him as I feel that after the evac somehow my womb has weaken a lot and i want it to recover well before i try again. After my evac, I had this huge urge to wanna try again ASAP so that i could replace my loss but after calming down, I tell myself to take it easy, not to push myself too hard. For me, maybe after March next year, I will start trying.
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bebechic
Guest
hmm gals,
actually i read somewhere in some forum saying that there's no medical reason for waiting..besides monitoring the cycles...but some admit that right after birth or abortion..its much easier to concieve..and i think its true judging from a few living egs...i dun wan to wait too long...doc say 3 monthes...but i quite kancheong...feel like trying in oct...
actually i read somewhere in some forum saying that there's no medical reason for waiting..besides monitoring the cycles...but some admit that right after birth or abortion..its much easier to concieve..and i think its true judging from a few living egs...i dun wan to wait too long...doc say 3 monthes...but i quite kancheong...feel like trying in oct...
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snowcat1
Guest
Actually there is a medical reason for waiting. By letting a few menstrual cycles to pass by, the uterine wall will thicken again, thus providing better environment for the egg to "stick" to the wall. Its very strange, now I can actually feel when I'm ovulating, I will have some slight cramps whenever eggs are released to the ovuum.
Hi chestnut, why did u specify March? Due to commitments to work or something?
Actually my doctor asked me to go for the Hep B jab, but if go for the jab, then cannot get pregnant for 6 months.
Hi chestnut, why did u specify March? Due to commitments to work or something?
Actually my doctor asked me to go for the Hep B jab, but if go for the jab, then cannot get pregnant for 6 months.
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snowcat1
Guest
Oh yah the other medical reason is if u carried the baby to almost full term, you need to wait for your body to resume back to it good nutritional level, coz due pregnancy u used up alot of calcium, iron, etc. Although I've still 6kg to lose to my pre-pregnancy weight. I decided not to go on a serious diet, since I plan to try again in Oct.
Hi Snowcat,
but by Oct, would you have waited 6 months? While I think it is a long wait, I don't think I mind cos I am not really ready... just wanted to know how you have decided.
I am now almost at my pre preg weight already. I did not put on a lot of weight during the pregnancy. I hope I can lose some more weight without dieting... I have never done that before and I really love to eat... perhaps will focus more on exercise...
folic
but by Oct, would you have waited 6 months? While I think it is a long wait, I don't think I mind cos I am not really ready... just wanted to know how you have decided.
I am now almost at my pre preg weight already. I did not put on a lot of weight during the pregnancy. I hope I can lose some more weight without dieting... I have never done that before and I really love to eat... perhaps will focus more on exercise...
folic
T
tintin_again
Guest
hi snowcat...
like u... i can oso feel the ovulation now.. slight pricking kind of pain at the lower abdomen...
like u... i can oso feel the ovulation now.. slight pricking kind of pain at the lower abdomen...
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snowcat1
Guest
No. by Oct I would have only waited 4 months. My doctor said that only have to wait for 2-3 menstrual cycles.
I put on 13kg. Usually one tends to put on more weight in the third trimester. I had alot of water retention.
I put on 13kg. Usually one tends to put on more weight in the third trimester. I had alot of water retention.
I have another appt with gynae in Nov. Perhaps I will check at that time if it's ok to proceed. By then, it would be about 3months+ and hopefully my cycles are back to norm. The gynae said I would only have menses 2-3months later... but that does not seem to be the case for you. Hopefully mine will be come next month as well. I used to have irregular cycles and I hope it is somehow regulated after this pregnancy.
I am still on folic acid (which I think helped me regulate my cycles and ovulate), iron (cos I was anemic during pregnancy) and also vitamin C now. Hopefully, all these will help me regain/improve my body condition!'
folic
I am still on folic acid (which I think helped me regulate my cycles and ovulate), iron (cos I was anemic during pregnancy) and also vitamin C now. Hopefully, all these will help me regain/improve my body condition!'
folic
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bebechic
Guest
hmmm okie....like dat i plan to concieve in oct means i waited for 2 mentrual cycle liao...ahha...
hopefully can lor...meanwhile drink more chic essence help or not huh??...i drink it coz i like it leh..not really coz i wan to "jing bu"
hopefully can lor...meanwhile drink more chic essence help or not huh??...i drink it coz i like it leh..not really coz i wan to "jing bu"
hi snowcat,
ard after march is abt half a yr, which i think shd be ready enough.
ya, folic, me on folic acid still too and something else call Naivit Forte, some multi-mineral vit.
I only put on half a kg during my 9 weeks and after evac, i lost 2 kg...
Hi bebechic,
ya, im like u, love to drink chix essence, always feel that small bottle's too small, not enough!
ard after march is abt half a yr, which i think shd be ready enough.
ya, folic, me on folic acid still too and something else call Naivit Forte, some multi-mineral vit.
I only put on half a kg during my 9 weeks and after evac, i lost 2 kg...
Hi bebechic,
ya, im like u, love to drink chix essence, always feel that small bottle's too small, not enough!
I am amazed how you can like chicken essence
I have 3 boxes at home and have not touched any of them... and don't think I will ever touch them!!
Ever since I stayed at home, I have been watching HK drama series...I think it sort of numbed me for a while. Yesterday, I broke down again.. donno why... but just cried. I guess this is the mood swing which some of you also experienced. I hope I can be more 'balanced' soon...
folic
I have 3 boxes at home and have not touched any of them... and don't think I will ever touch them!!
Ever since I stayed at home, I have been watching HK drama series...I think it sort of numbed me for a while. Yesterday, I broke down again.. donno why... but just cried. I guess this is the mood swing which some of you also experienced. I hope I can be more 'balanced' soon...
folic
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ryan 2
Guest
Hi Folic,
I guessed mood swings are normal after a miscarriage. I also experienced mood swings then. Really terrible. Cried for nothing. Even scolded my hubby for nothing. I guessed when your hormones are regulated, the mood swings will disappear.
I guessed mood swings are normal after a miscarriage. I also experienced mood swings then. Really terrible. Cried for nothing. Even scolded my hubby for nothing. I guessed when your hormones are regulated, the mood swings will disappear.
Hi Ryan and chestnut,
I am sure it will get better each day... It is almost 2 weeks for me too. I think not being able to go out has given me more time to be more philosophical about the whole thing. I really want to go out and hopefully lighten my mood. But my mum is so paranoid about having me do the confiment thing that it is killing me!! sigh!
I will try to get out next week... by hook or by crook
I am sure it will get better each day... It is almost 2 weeks for me too. I think not being able to go out has given me more time to be more philosophical about the whole thing. I really want to go out and hopefully lighten my mood. But my mum is so paranoid about having me do the confiment thing that it is killing me!! sigh!
I will try to get out next week... by hook or by crook
R
ryan2
Guest
Dear all,
Just to find out if any of you suffered from a recurrance of depression? Recently, I just found out that my good fren is pregnant. A sudden sense of sadness (cum envy) overwhelmed me. I also found myself being overprotective of her. Kept asking her to be careful.
In addition, the news of my SIL, who is also pregnant at about the same time as me, is now shopping for her maternaity dresses also saddened me. When I went to my MIL's hse, she will tell me abt my SIL's preganacy. Got to bear with it and pretend I am very happy. My MIL is not being unsensitive; she din know about the miscarriage.
Cried to my husband two days ago. He just let me cry. Wonder when I can really get over it.
Have just started trying again. Failed this month.
Just to find out if any of you suffered from a recurrance of depression? Recently, I just found out that my good fren is pregnant. A sudden sense of sadness (cum envy) overwhelmed me. I also found myself being overprotective of her. Kept asking her to be careful.
In addition, the news of my SIL, who is also pregnant at about the same time as me, is now shopping for her maternaity dresses also saddened me. When I went to my MIL's hse, she will tell me abt my SIL's preganacy. Got to bear with it and pretend I am very happy. My MIL is not being unsensitive; she din know about the miscarriage.
Cried to my husband two days ago. He just let me cry. Wonder when I can really get over it.
Have just started trying again. Failed this month.
Hi Ryan2,
I think it is common to have a recurrance. I was feeling ok the whole of last week and decided to go out on Friday and Saturday. On Friday, I met up with my friends and were ok.. although I can feel my eyes tearing when they asked about the miscarriage. On Saturday, I went to IMM. There was one of those shows where tons of children were queueing to have their photos taken with Doraemon. I was sitting nearby waiting for my sister and suddenly, I just feel like crying. Even walking past the shop that sells baby things bring out emotional reactions from me!
That nite, I was watching this funny program on discovery channel - about hotdog stands around US. I kept tinking about the incident at IMM started to cry in front of the tv... and I cried for almmost 4 hours till 2am! I felt so stupid now... crying while watching a funny show and then continue crying till so late. My eyes were totally swollen the next day!
I think we will never "get over it" but the pain will probably lessen each day...
folic
I think it is common to have a recurrance. I was feeling ok the whole of last week and decided to go out on Friday and Saturday. On Friday, I met up with my friends and were ok.. although I can feel my eyes tearing when they asked about the miscarriage. On Saturday, I went to IMM. There was one of those shows where tons of children were queueing to have their photos taken with Doraemon. I was sitting nearby waiting for my sister and suddenly, I just feel like crying. Even walking past the shop that sells baby things bring out emotional reactions from me!
That nite, I was watching this funny program on discovery channel - about hotdog stands around US. I kept tinking about the incident at IMM started to cry in front of the tv... and I cried for almmost 4 hours till 2am! I felt so stupid now... crying while watching a funny show and then continue crying till so late. My eyes were totally swollen the next day!
I think we will never "get over it" but the pain will probably lessen each day...
folic
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bebechic
Guest
hi ryan2 and folic...
i think its natural to feel upset about it...i din give my chance to feel upset..after D&C i went out to occupy myslef wif activities...then rest 2 days and went off to work liao..my another colleague same EDD wif me...she is happily talking about her pregnancy also...i also dunno how come i can deal with it so well...i always glance at the pregnancy stall clothes...but i dun feel as sad as i tot i would be...it could be becoz i had an abortion few years back...for dat one...yes..i will feel upset on mother's dae...abortion anniversary..etc etc..see kids also cry...maybe becoz i went thru it before...so i dun feel that bad...but i believe we will all get over it someday like wat folic say...
ryan, dun be so worried about trying...juz relax..and you will be succesful soon...my AF juz came last thursdae..and its hell lots of blood!!...i only intend to try next month in october...so ryan...keep it up yah..we will be here cheering for you to try!!
i think its natural to feel upset about it...i din give my chance to feel upset..after D&C i went out to occupy myslef wif activities...then rest 2 days and went off to work liao..my another colleague same EDD wif me...she is happily talking about her pregnancy also...i also dunno how come i can deal with it so well...i always glance at the pregnancy stall clothes...but i dun feel as sad as i tot i would be...it could be becoz i had an abortion few years back...for dat one...yes..i will feel upset on mother's dae...abortion anniversary..etc etc..see kids also cry...maybe becoz i went thru it before...so i dun feel that bad...but i believe we will all get over it someday like wat folic say...
ryan, dun be so worried about trying...juz relax..and you will be succesful soon...my AF juz came last thursdae..and its hell lots of blood!!...i only intend to try next month in october...so ryan...keep it up yah..we will be here cheering for you to try!!
B
bebechic
Guest
hehe emma,
you should join the TTC thread..how many months you try liao..the gals at TTCs really give many good advices leh..did you try it out...? babypooh is such a cute name..hehe
ryan, folic..
are you guys feeling better...ryan...another one week you can start trying again!!!..good luck
you should join the TTC thread..how many months you try liao..the gals at TTCs really give many good advices leh..did you try it out...? babypooh is such a cute name..hehe
ryan, folic..
are you guys feeling better...ryan...another one week you can start trying again!!!..good luck
Hi bebechic.. and everyone else,
I am feeling better this week. I will be going to Kuantan this weekend for a short holiday. Then i will come back and prepare to go to Japan for a one week holiday with my hubby. We went there for our honeymoon last year and this year, we will celebrate our anniversary there too!
We went to Hokkaido last year and this year, it will just be around Tokyo area. Hubby studied there for 8 years, so very familiar with Japan and plus he speaks the language, makes things so much easier! Hope I can come back more refreshed and ready to face the world when I come back!!
Emma, just click on the "anyone TTC" thread and post your questions there.
folic
I am feeling better this week. I will be going to Kuantan this weekend for a short holiday. Then i will come back and prepare to go to Japan for a one week holiday with my hubby. We went there for our honeymoon last year and this year, we will celebrate our anniversary there too!
Emma, just click on the "anyone TTC" thread and post your questions there.
folic
linda_thea
New Member
Hi Ryan, Hi Folic
It is VERY normal to feel a "recurrence" of emotions. Esp when we are affected by external factors such as colleagues and relatives. That is why I guess it impt to let others know abt our miscarraiges and not suffer in silence. Cos they will be more sensitive towards us and more understanding towards us when we do get pregnant again.
I too had bad feelings after I thot I recovered. I knew my colleague once I came back from my MC. Even till now, although I am pregnant, I too ask why and feel sad when someone I knew got pregnant accidentally and didn't really bother abt it. Smoked more then me and still smoking now yet baby is fine while I have to go thru a m/c.... So life is really unpredictable......and not to mention unfair.
It is VERY normal to feel a "recurrence" of emotions. Esp when we are affected by external factors such as colleagues and relatives. That is why I guess it impt to let others know abt our miscarraiges and not suffer in silence. Cos they will be more sensitive towards us and more understanding towards us when we do get pregnant again.
I too had bad feelings after I thot I recovered. I knew my colleague once I came back from my MC. Even till now, although I am pregnant, I too ask why and feel sad when someone I knew got pregnant accidentally and didn't really bother abt it. Smoked more then me and still smoking now yet baby is fine while I have to go thru a m/c.... So life is really unpredictable......and not to mention unfair.
B
bebechic
Guest
yup emma,
think folic answer your qn liao...hope you will find some answers to your qns and worries there.
hey folic...
hope that you will feel much better after going to these trips...sounds exciting..like an anniversary trip,..hehe hope you enjoy yourself..
linda...
i think dats why they say heaven like to make a fool of people..but now dat you are in your 2nd trimester...keep yourself happy and dun think of the past already..i haf a cousin who even went on drugs like ecstasy during pregnancy...everything still ok for her. but frankly speaking we wun be able to see the effects on the child till much later..my uncle who took the same kind of drugs..his sons at first seemed quite ok...when they grew older, like 11 yrs old now..still cannot go to school and behave like a 3 yr old.
think folic answer your qn liao...hope you will find some answers to your qns and worries there.
hey folic...
hope that you will feel much better after going to these trips...sounds exciting..like an anniversary trip,..hehe hope you enjoy yourself..
linda...
i think dats why they say heaven like to make a fool of people..but now dat you are in your 2nd trimester...keep yourself happy and dun think of the past already..i haf a cousin who even went on drugs like ecstasy during pregnancy...everything still ok for her. but frankly speaking we wun be able to see the effects on the child till much later..my uncle who took the same kind of drugs..his sons at first seemed quite ok...when they grew older, like 11 yrs old now..still cannot go to school and behave like a 3 yr old.
S
snowcat1
Guest
hi Ryan,
Same here, didn't dare to go back to work at first, coz 2 my colleagues are pregnant.
The first 2 weeks at work are horrible, coz the surroundings are familiar, just that u r not pregnant anymore. Also when I went back to office and opened my drawer, I saw my can of Anmum still there.
Do u all watched the Korean show Winter Sonata? There's this song called "My Memory". Everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of the past. Its because I watched this show during the early stages of my pregnancy. Feels sad everytime I hear it, but yet like a masochist, I keep wanting to hear it.
Do you know my hubby actually video recorded the ultrasound scan of one of my gynae visits. There's one time I went to look at it and cried, so my hubby store the tape somewhere else.
We actually allocated 1 room for the baby and stored all the baby stuff in the cupboard there. Everytime I miss him, I would go and open that cupboard and smell the smell of baby powder in there.
Also, we ordered the baby cot and it actually arrived the 2nd week after I left the hospital. Its still there in the baby room....
Nowadays I dun think so much of the past, but look forward to the future. But occassionally when I miss him and feel sad, I would do those things which remind me of him, after that I will tell myself to put away those thoughts and do other things.
Ryan, its ok to feel upset and protective towards pregnant women. But dun let those feelings overrule u and make u upset the whole day.
BTW my hubby and I started trying liao instead of waiting till next month. Dunno if this month got good news to share....
Same here, didn't dare to go back to work at first, coz 2 my colleagues are pregnant.
The first 2 weeks at work are horrible, coz the surroundings are familiar, just that u r not pregnant anymore. Also when I went back to office and opened my drawer, I saw my can of Anmum still there.
Do u all watched the Korean show Winter Sonata? There's this song called "My Memory". Everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of the past. Its because I watched this show during the early stages of my pregnancy. Feels sad everytime I hear it, but yet like a masochist, I keep wanting to hear it.
Do you know my hubby actually video recorded the ultrasound scan of one of my gynae visits. There's one time I went to look at it and cried, so my hubby store the tape somewhere else.
We actually allocated 1 room for the baby and stored all the baby stuff in the cupboard there. Everytime I miss him, I would go and open that cupboard and smell the smell of baby powder in there.
Also, we ordered the baby cot and it actually arrived the 2nd week after I left the hospital. Its still there in the baby room....
Nowadays I dun think so much of the past, but look forward to the future. But occassionally when I miss him and feel sad, I would do those things which remind me of him, after that I will tell myself to put away those thoughts and do other things.
Ryan, its ok to feel upset and protective towards pregnant women. But dun let those feelings overrule u and make u upset the whole day.
BTW my hubby and I started trying liao instead of waiting till next month. Dunno if this month got good news to share....
Hi Snowcat,
Best wishes! Hope you succeed in one try!!
I just came back from the Pasir Ris Library. I was looking for some story books to bring for my trip. In a spur of the moment, I decided to look for books on miscarriage. I found one whole row of books on that subject! I took about 8 of them and sat at the library for almost 2 hours.. flipping through the books. Some are medical, some are inspirational, some are just compilations of stories of people who have gone through miscarriage. Not a lot was written for the type of miscarriage I went through (water bag broke) but from what little I found, I am glad that it confirmed what my doc has already told me... at least I know that my doc is telling me the facts, rather than just comforting me. From some of the stories that were shared, I am amazed what some of the women went through (one went through 8 miscarriage before having one son and another had a daughter and subsequently had 5 consecutive miscarriage). It makes what I have gone through pales in comparison... although I don't think there is any way in which pain can be compared!
Snowcat, you might want to read one of the book entitled "Preventing Miscarriages" and another one called"Pregnancy after miscarriage/stillbirth". The first one list out all the possible causes of miscarriage and types of treatments/test that can be done to minimise it. The one good thing I found out is that the chances of having a successful pregnancy after miscarriage is almost as high as someone who did not have any miscarriage. The second book deals more with the emotional aspects as well as psychological aspects of conceiving after a loss. If you stay in the East, Pasir Ris library would be a good resource, cos I think they have a lot of books on pregnancy.
Folic
Best wishes! Hope you succeed in one try!!
I just came back from the Pasir Ris Library. I was looking for some story books to bring for my trip. In a spur of the moment, I decided to look for books on miscarriage. I found one whole row of books on that subject! I took about 8 of them and sat at the library for almost 2 hours.. flipping through the books. Some are medical, some are inspirational, some are just compilations of stories of people who have gone through miscarriage. Not a lot was written for the type of miscarriage I went through (water bag broke) but from what little I found, I am glad that it confirmed what my doc has already told me... at least I know that my doc is telling me the facts, rather than just comforting me. From some of the stories that were shared, I am amazed what some of the women went through (one went through 8 miscarriage before having one son and another had a daughter and subsequently had 5 consecutive miscarriage). It makes what I have gone through pales in comparison... although I don't think there is any way in which pain can be compared!
Snowcat, you might want to read one of the book entitled "Preventing Miscarriages" and another one called"Pregnancy after miscarriage/stillbirth". The first one list out all the possible causes of miscarriage and types of treatments/test that can be done to minimise it. The one good thing I found out is that the chances of having a successful pregnancy after miscarriage is almost as high as someone who did not have any miscarriage. The second book deals more with the emotional aspects as well as psychological aspects of conceiving after a loss. If you stay in the East, Pasir Ris library would be a good resource, cos I think they have a lot of books on pregnancy.
Folic
Hi Linda,
I agree that the see-sawing emotions will continue for a while. What makes it difficult is that people around us (even our hubbies as well) wants us to "get better" as soon as possible.. without realising that suppressing the tears/fears/anger might have much more negative consequences than alllowing us to just let the emotions flow. My mum and MIL, for instance, kept telling me not to cry during the confinement period, cos will cause blindness... and having people tell us that we can "try again" etc does not replace the loss we feel for that one child! We are probably the only people who felt the presence of the baby and to the rest of the world, that baby does not 'exist' and some do not fully comprehend why we grieve so much.
It does get easier each day to get a better control of my own emotions. I hope that by end of this year, I will be ready again and announce to all of you, just like wat snowcat had done.. that I am ready to TTC again!
I agree that the see-sawing emotions will continue for a while. What makes it difficult is that people around us (even our hubbies as well) wants us to "get better" as soon as possible.. without realising that suppressing the tears/fears/anger might have much more negative consequences than alllowing us to just let the emotions flow. My mum and MIL, for instance, kept telling me not to cry during the confinement period, cos will cause blindness... and having people tell us that we can "try again" etc does not replace the loss we feel for that one child! We are probably the only people who felt the presence of the baby and to the rest of the world, that baby does not 'exist' and some do not fully comprehend why we grieve so much.
It does get easier each day to get a better control of my own emotions. I hope that by end of this year, I will be ready again and announce to all of you, just like wat snowcat had done.. that I am ready to TTC again!
S
snowcat1
Guest
Hi folic,
Thanks, but I read all those books already "Trying again after a pregancy loss....", I even bought one book "I will hold you in heaven". I read them during my maternity leave, and I think it made me feel worse. Kept thinking abt it then. But now when I remember some of the things the book said, it made alot of sense. When you are pregnant again, you should not confuse the new baby with the one that you lost. Or decide to try again just to replace the one that you lost.
I have stopped crying since last month (hopefully no or few relapse), coz if I'm really pregnant again, I want to have a happy disposition and be positive.
folic,
I'm sure you will feel better everyday, coz that's how I felt. Keeping your mind occupied will also help alot.
Thanks, but I read all those books already "Trying again after a pregancy loss....", I even bought one book "I will hold you in heaven". I read them during my maternity leave, and I think it made me feel worse. Kept thinking abt it then. But now when I remember some of the things the book said, it made alot of sense. When you are pregnant again, you should not confuse the new baby with the one that you lost. Or decide to try again just to replace the one that you lost.
I have stopped crying since last month (hopefully no or few relapse), coz if I'm really pregnant again, I want to have a happy disposition and be positive.
folic,
I'm sure you will feel better everyday, coz that's how I felt. Keeping your mind occupied will also help alot.
R
ryan2
Guest
Hi all,
Thanks for advice. Feeling much better now. We are also trying now.
Will focus on the positive things. I have a colleague who have three healthy child but had undergone three miscarriages in the past. Another had two miscarriages and the doctor declared that her chance of pregnancy is almost zero. However, she is also now a proud mother of a little girl.
Dear all who have shared the pain and sorrow, may we get to hear good news soon...
God bless,
Ryan
Thanks for advice. Feeling much better now. We are also trying now.
Will focus on the positive things. I have a colleague who have three healthy child but had undergone three miscarriages in the past. Another had two miscarriages and the doctor declared that her chance of pregnancy is almost zero. However, she is also now a proud mother of a little girl.
Dear all who have shared the pain and sorrow, may we get to hear good news soon...
God bless,
Ryan
Hi Snowcat,
I agree that some of the things in the book makes me feel bad too
. That's why I just skip some of it. Somehow, I just needed to find the confirmation that it is not my fault or the baby's problem and that was indeed what I found in some of the books.
And I agree with you... the next pregnancy should be not be treated as a replacement for the little one that we have already lost.
Ryan, glad to hear you are feeling better and that you are also trying as well.
Hope to hear some good news here!
folic
I agree that some of the things in the book makes me feel bad too
And I agree with you... the next pregnancy should be not be treated as a replacement for the little one that we have already lost.
Ryan, glad to hear you are feeling better and that you are also trying as well.
Hope to hear some good news here!
folic
B
bebechic
Guest
snowcat...
all the best in your trying and we really hope to hear more good news..best is altogether..hehe..
all the best in your trying and we really hope to hear more good news..best is altogether..hehe..
linda_thea
New Member
Hi Snowcat,
Great! Hope we can hear the news soon. Scientifically, there is no written proof that waiting longer is better. But only perhaps for the fact to let yr menses regulate itself.
Hi Folic,
What you say is VREY True. Hubby also want me to forget what has happen. But it is almost impossible to forget totally the things we have gone thru.
Recently, I have been feeling really lousy and AGAIN kept wanting to cry.... I am so scared that it menat something bad cos I had the same bout of crying seson 2 weeks before my m/c.... And to make it worst, my office needs to be shifted so all of us have to pack and carry.... I also scared that it will affect the baby somehow yet I cannot do anything abt it....
Great! Hope we can hear the news soon. Scientifically, there is no written proof that waiting longer is better. But only perhaps for the fact to let yr menses regulate itself.
Hi Folic,
What you say is VREY True. Hubby also want me to forget what has happen. But it is almost impossible to forget totally the things we have gone thru.
Recently, I have been feeling really lousy and AGAIN kept wanting to cry.... I am so scared that it menat something bad cos I had the same bout of crying seson 2 weeks before my m/c.... And to make it worst, my office needs to be shifted so all of us have to pack and carry.... I also scared that it will affect the baby somehow yet I cannot do anything abt it....
B
bebechic
Guest
poor linda...
how long do you need to shift office?...why not explain to your boss about it? since they know you m/c once...tell them that doc instruct you muz take care of this one lor...not very good to carry heavy things leh..though you in the safety zone liao..but doing these will strain your back also..go on no pay leave lor..then can rest till your office shifted nicely back...
how long do you need to shift office?...why not explain to your boss about it? since they know you m/c once...tell them that doc instruct you muz take care of this one lor...not very good to carry heavy things leh..though you in the safety zone liao..but doing these will strain your back also..go on no pay leave lor..then can rest till your office shifted nicely back...
Hi everyone,
I just came back from my Kuantan trip. It was good to get away for 2 days... just finding good makan places and relaxing by the pool. That makes me more enthusiastic to get ready for my Japan trip on Wednesday!
Hi Linda, do take care not to overstrain yourself. Although second trimester is considered the 'safe period', such phrase do not exist for me anymore... given what happened to me! I think the crying session is just your hormonal changes.. not really an omen or a sign. Perhaps it is a signal that you are doing something you don't really want to do (shifting) and your body is telling you to stop? Do talk to your boss about alternatives about packing. Also, I think the crying could also be due to the fear that you have after having m/c once. Perhaps you can keep reminding yourself that chances of you having a succesful pregancy is still very high and not focus so much on the negative what-if scenariios?
folic
I just came back from my Kuantan trip. It was good to get away for 2 days... just finding good makan places and relaxing by the pool. That makes me more enthusiastic to get ready for my Japan trip on Wednesday!
Hi Linda, do take care not to overstrain yourself. Although second trimester is considered the 'safe period', such phrase do not exist for me anymore... given what happened to me! I think the crying session is just your hormonal changes.. not really an omen or a sign. Perhaps it is a signal that you are doing something you don't really want to do (shifting) and your body is telling you to stop? Do talk to your boss about alternatives about packing. Also, I think the crying could also be due to the fear that you have after having m/c once. Perhaps you can keep reminding yourself that chances of you having a succesful pregancy is still very high and not focus so much on the negative what-if scenariios?
folic