Support group - Miscarriages

[oz]

Dear ladies,
Please enlighten me.If you have spotting for the first pregnancy, does that mean that for subsequent pregnancies the same thing will happen?

 

[folic]

Hi gals!

very bz day in this thread today!

Ocean/Tubby, I think ULN went through more than a D&C. I think she had an operation to remove her fibroids as well. Correct ULN? Hope you do rest well so that the stitches can heal better. Don't worry about TTC for now. I am sure you will think about it again when you are ready!

Oz, it really depends on the reason for spotting. Many times, spotting occurs because we do not have enough hormones to support the pregnancy. If your body is still the same in subsequent preg, it is likely that you will expericence spotting again. For others, it could be other reasons and might not occur again. For me, I had spotting in my first pregnany, which subsequently ended in miscarriage, but I did not have any spotting in my current pregnancy.

folic

 

[akzo]

ULN,

i had read abt your post..think we are in the same boat coz we lost our bb at the same time..so sad. when i know that i m preggie.. i had been taking extra care..unlike my first pregency..
maybe i should think of the positive way....

 

[java]

hi ULN,
How come you have tubes in your throat? I'm sorry you had to go thru all this. I think lying on the operating table can be really traumatising. Hope you feel better now.

Ye. This thread very busy today. One of the few times that hit Archive mode.

 

[folic]

java, today you also very free huh? Your boss not back yet meh?

folic

 

[java]

hi folic,
Its not today I very free. Everyday I also very free. My boss is not stationed in SG, he's in US. But my teammates are coming back from their training the week after next, so by then I should be busy learning things from them liao.

 

[folic]

I am bored... today, my schedule is really stupid.. I had a 12-12.30 meeting, and was hungry... and later I have a 4- 6.30 meeting...zzzzz

But I am indulging today... I will go eat MOS burger later... been a long while since I ate fast food! I keep dreaming of fries...

Forgot to tell you this... my hubby strike 4D on Sunday again!

Now, he firmly believes that the baby is a girl, after I told him Ocean's ( i think) theory.

folic

 

[tiantian]

Hi Ocean,

Ok, I have checked with my gf. She has low amniotic fluid in her 3rd tri during one of her gynae visit. According to her gynae, it was due to the placenta not functioning properly.

In fact right from the begining, she has very low lying placenta which cannot deliver enough nutrient to the bb. Therefore, was given jab to support the bb in her 1st tri.

She has to go for weekly scan to check the level of the fluid and makesure it does not falls below borderline. On her 36th weeks, the gynae realise that the fluid level is too low and told her that the bb's life could be endanger if there is not enough nutrient.

She was advised to go for c-section the next day. Although the bb was born 3 weeks premature, he was a healthy bb at 2.1 kg. The bb boy is 2 months old now and growing well.

When you go for your checkup this week, have a talk with your gynae and ask him to monitor the fluid level on a weekly basis. Some time, I feel that some doctor and nurses at KKH have no sense of urgency. I hope you are not offended. It is better to be KS in this kind of cases.

Take care.

 

[oceans]

Kekeke...

Yap, agreed that today, this post is really very active!!

Had to run fast to catch up, lucky my boss not ard!

 

[folic]

just wondering.. where's millie? Working hard quietly?

folic

 

[pregnantbride2b]

Hi Ocean, Folic, Java,
Yes I went through D& C plus removal of fibroids. So I got a cut at my bikini line.
Actually I dare not go and see my gynae without my hubby. I am just afraid of bad news. Hubby has taken too many leaves lately, so I have arranged the appointmnet to be on Saturday... Luckily my hubby went with me on my last appointment when the doc ask me to go through D&C. Cos I was shocked then and suddenly dunno what to ask the doc, just dunno what to say and tears just flow down.
I realised my mistake... cannot walk too much... realised I tot I can walk cos no pain is the help of the painkiller... cos I just bleed again when I went to the toilet... plus the pain I get last nite.

Java, the tubes are for oxygen and clearing phlegm/saliva. It was indeed a traumatising experience waking up with a lot of pain and finding out I still on the operating table

I think after they gave me painkiller, I fell asleep again cos the next time I woke up was with an oxygen mask. Cannot remember how I got on the bed in the ward liao. Probably too sedated.
I think I am luckier than you cos I have decided not to tell my relatives when I was pregnant. Only my family and hubby's family knew and two of my very good friends.
At that time I was set to postpone my wedding dinner. I decided to arrange with the hotel after the scan on that fateful day. My sis has a friend who brought forward her wedding. From all the hard work and stress of preparing, in the end she miscarriage just before the dinner and she still gotta call off the dinner. After hearing her case, I was quite worried then...

Akzo, I think it will take some time before I can think positive again. You went back to work already? I am lucky I am not working, or rather "working" at home. I think you can try chicken of essence with cordysep. When I was very giddy, I drank one bottle and I feel a bit better after that.

 

[pregnantbride2b]

ok gals... I am going for some bed rest again... better not sit in front of the computer too long liao... If my bleeding stop tonite, I will be back tomolo morning

Have a nice birthday Java.

Thank you gals so much for reading my posts and the comforts

hugz...

 

[teletubby]

hi ULN,
since u had wound on ur womb area, i think it's better to take the painkiller until ur wound recover properly... i mean there's already an emotional pain we hv to bear for our lost angel, the last thing we hv to bear is dis kind of physical pain which can be avoided by painkiller.. so take those pills & rest well ya

i took painkillers as well after D&C, thou mine is mere crampings felt by contracting womb..

hi Ocean,
yup, mabbe like wat tiantian advised, request to be monitored weekly for ur amniotic fluid... then u can rest ur mind at ease... u've been veri brave all dis while... dun worry, i'm sure bb can sense ur fighting spirit & will gambate wif u all the way...

i am staying at my mum's plc dis 2 days... cos hubby in taiwan.. coming back tomoro... but usually, we will come back on weekdays for dinner..

i will JIA YOU to be happy, & hopefully, TTC soon!!

 

[akzo]

ULN,

i was also preggie when i married..i was abt 12 preggie..but lucky everything went in smoothly..and we even went for honeymoon.
see i have done so many thing during my first pregnency..

 

[java]

hi ULN,
You sound sad. Hope you feel better after talking to us. Do come in and chat with us.

hi folic,
Saw u in the A&W thread. Now I feel like asking my SIL to drive us in to JB to eat A&W. hahaha. So u going to MOS burger to eat? Eh never treat me, today my birthday leh. Somemore ur huby strike 4D again!!!! Last Sunday I already exceed my sugar intake by eating "oh nee", the yam paste with gingko but teochew dessert. Somemore my birthday cake is CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES!!!

I told my bb that today is mummy's birthday, he seems to understand me and become very excited, now he keeps kicking me.

 

[folic]

yah, today I give you license to exceed your sugar intake

I treat you the next time we meet. I am going Suntec this week but have not decided day yet. When you free? I can try to fix it on the day you free and then meet you. But Thurs, I got checkup, so will either be tomorrow or Friday

folic

 

[verysian]

hi,
Someone asked about bleeding in pregnancy. Sometimes bleeding does not signify all hope is lost. Of course it best not to have. And bleeding in subsequent preg, is there a trend?

For my case

1. First pregnancy, only stain 1 day, then for the subsequent weeks no problem. Then only really started spotting when the miscarriage going to start

2. Second pregnancy, spotting started the moment i knew i was pregnant. 8P. Spotted almost every day for the whole of first trimester. If don't spot, I will question myself if got problem or not.. Damn paranoid hor. At 10 weeks, i passed out bright red blood and some clots. But went to the gynae. My baby was still there. I finally gave birth to to a healthy 3.265 baby boy.

3. Now my 3rd pregnancy, with the spotting and bleeding, the gynae at 4 -5 weeks say no hope, gestation sac abit small and irregular. Only 30-40 percent chance only. But, somehow the gestation sac with the yolk sac grew despite the spotting. Tomorrow, I am hoping to see a heartbeat though I am not out of the woods. I am trying to be optimistic.

Sometimes, bleeding could be due to a weak uterus, not something wrong with the baby. For my 3rd preg, I am not sure which is the cause of the bleeding, but I am keeping my fingers and toes cross. I am prepared for the worse but hoping for the best.

 

[java]

hi folic,
You make me very pai seh leh. I'm just joking abt the treating part. How abt Friday? Tiantian you want to meet us?

I just came back from Gelare Cafe, every Tuesday they have 50% off their waffles. My colleague treated me to a waffle!! Yummy! Today exceed sugar intake liao, coz the waffle came with syrup!

half hour more to go home....

 

[folic]

Hi Java, ok, friday! Tiantian, join us lah

Java, since you have both our email, why don't u start mail to both of us and then we discuss where to meet through mail?

folic

 

[oceans]

<font color="aa00aa">Tiantian</font>, thanks for checking for me. Well, am really happy for your gf that her BB boy is healthy after what she had gone thru!

At least for my case, the Consultant rule out the possibility of the placenta not working well. Now i just hope that mine falls under the case of Spordic whereby the water level is intermittent.

No no..

<font color="aa00aa">Tiantian</font>, i am not offended by ur saying KK not sense of urgency!

In fact, i agreed! But as my last checkup was by a Specialist and she is more experience, she immediate send me to see Dr Kwek(Consultant). Currently classifed me under <font color="ff0000">High Risk Cases</font>. Thus was asked to go back this week again for monitoring. Hopefully, i can be "labelled" as normal after this week scan!

<font color="0077aa">Tubby</font>, in fact, this week, i find myself quite scared to go KK for the scan! Told hubby no need to accompany me as i found out that my scan is at AMC whereby hubby are not allowed to go in. So, i will go to KK myself bravely!

<font color="ff6000">Folic</font>, ur hubby is really lucky hor!! Seemed like he strike very often leh!!

Hmmm... wondered if urs is a BB gal too....

<font color="119911">U</font>, then u really really feel that u must have a good rest!

Guai guai have a good sleep and only pop-by when u r feeling better!!

 

[oz]

Dear Folic,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope that you will give birth to a healthy baby!
Dear Very sian,
Best of luck and I will pray hard for you that you will be out of the woods and see the sun soon.

I had a miscarriage for my first pregnancy. I had slight spotting too for my second pregnancy. However, it stopped after the 7th week and I delivered to a healthy baby eventually. I am just afraid that if I am going to conceive again, I will encounter spotting. I think it is very stressful to go through the process whereby I go to the toilet to check for spotting every now and then. I also have fear in me that the baby is not gorwing etc. Is there any way one can increase the pregnancy hormones without having to take jabs or take pills? Just by eating certain kinds of food?

 

[folic]

Hi Oz,

Thanks. Actually, after my miscarriage, I did ask my gynae if the complications I faced during that preg (eg spotting, Gestational Diabetes) will also appear in the next preg. She says it is likely. Since that miscarriage, I became more aware of things like hormones, regulating menses etc etc. So I ended up taking quite a few things, like bai feng wan, evening primrose oil, and also some chinese medicine from a sinseh. So, I am not sure if all these did help. I took BFW for about 2-3 months, but only 1 bottle each month, and I took EPO for less than a month and I happened to get preg. As you can see, I did not really take all of these for long time

The other theory that some people I talk to say is that after the first preg, my body is sort of more fine tuned for pregnancy.

I understand the fear you have for spotting again. During this current preg, I am also fearful of spotting but thankfully, I did not have any spotting. I even asked my current gynae at the first visit if I should start taking hormone pills etc to prevent spotting but she says there is no need. So, you are already in a better shape than us... you have already got a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage.

I am sure you can do it again!

verysian, hope you feel better soon!

Do come in often to chat with us. I am sure you will feel better.

folic

 

[oz]

Dear Folic,
How advance are you in your pregnancy?
When do you take the BFW?

 

[folic]

Hi Oz, I am now in my 16th week

For BFW, I took it after the last day of my menses. My sister in law says it is good for me, especially after my miscarriage. I am not taking BFW now as I don't think it is suitable for pregnant women.

folic

 

[elle]

Hi Ocean,

I understand you've a case with KKH and right now under 'high risk' group, i believe you'll be converted back to normal group real soon..
In the mean time have you ever thought of converting to private patient? Now i really understand why so many people have bad experience with KKH(even pte patients encountered). Many of the urgent cases they treat it lightly. I cant imagine as a subsidized patient how else wld they treat us. Their nurse attitude towards preg ladies are like we are just 'pigs' .. insensitive and no sense of urgency.. they treat any cases all by the books, no flexiblity at all.. even sometimes they gyne cant do anything just bcos they need to follow procedures.

I mean its just my point of view lah.. Its better that you pay abit more than to 'swallow' their kinda attitude and most imptly shld they endanger our pregnancy even more not worth it.

 

[tiantian]

morning ladies,

<font color="ff0000">Java and Folic</font>,

Fri is ok for me but me very stressed to have lunch with 2 pregnant women, ha ha. There are lot of good food at Suntec. Heard the Japanese buffet is not bad, less than $20 per head but think buffet is too heavy for lunch. <font color="ff0000">Java</font>, email us and tell us what you would like to have.

 

[blur_green]

Hi Folic

I understand that you eat bai feng wan, evening primrose oil and folic acid.

Can i know at which point of the month i should take the above medication? e.g. eat folic acid every morning (even during menses?) etc

 

[java]

hi Oz,
I also very scared of spotting. This is my second pregnancy and had 2 spotting incidents, one in 5th and the other at 12th wk. I also like you very phobia, always go toilet and check. My first pregnancy didn't have any spotting at all. Also dunno what caused spotting. I also took BFW and chinese medicine before my 2nd pregnancy, but still spot. But I didn't take EPO though. My ex-colleague who had her 2nd pregnancy at 6 mths apart from her first, also encountered staining.

hi folic,
ok I will email to Tiantian and you.

 

[folic]

Hi blurgreen,

I took folic acid, one tablet per day, in the morning. I took this everyday, for about 3 months prior to this pregnancy and continued on after pregnancy.

BFW, I took on the last day of my menses, no particular time. But I think I took in afternoon, cos morning I took folic acid. 1 bottle each time, once a month. Some girls I know took 1 bottle per week till ovulation.

EPO, I took in the morning, together with folic acid.

folic

 

[adora]

Dear gals

Went Gynae yesterday, he gave me a jab and hormone pills. He also took some of my discharge for lab test. And I will be going back in 2 weeks time.

Asked him why spotting occur, he only says it could be due to implantation. I told him thought implantation shld have taken place earlier? He said in some cases it happen late and could be during the implantation process, it "hit" the blood vessels so causes spotting.

BB is 4 weeks now....i hope BB grow healthly this time around...

 

[tiantian]

hello Very Sian,

I pray hard that you will see your BB heart beat today. Update us on the checkup ok??

Hi Ocean,

I also hope that you will be removed from the high risk group after this week scan! Be brave hor.

Hi Folic,

Your hubby damn lucky hor, always strike 4D. Like what <font color="0000ff">Ocean</font> say, it could be a bb gal.

 

[tiantian]

Hello Adora,

Big Hugz. Glad that your have seen your gynae. Are you still having spotting now?? Rest more and don't move around too much. I can imagine the smile on your face when you see your BB. Take care.

 

[java]

hi adora,
Formal congrats!! Yes, do have more bedrest and dun think too much.

 

[adora]

Tiantian &amp; Java

Actually I was more worried then happy when I saw the scan....BB is so small. Kept asking Gynae if BB is growing well, he just reply too early now to know if BB is NORMAL....

Spotting has stopped. Trying to stay positive. Maybe because of previous incident, my heart will only settle down until I see Gynae in 2 weeks time.

 

[oz]

Dear Folic &amp; Java,
How does EPO help? I used to take evening primrose oil then I had breakouts.

 

[oceans]

<font color="119911">Adora</font>, at least at ur 4wks old, u can still see ur little BB!

That time when i first went to see doc, my BB is ard 3-4wk old too! But we cant see anything from the screen!

Yes, try to stay positive and have lots of rest before your next appt!

<font color="0000ff">Elle</font> &amp; <font color="aa00aa">Tiantian</font>, yes, i do wish that i can be classified under normal after tml scan!

 

[folic]

Ocean, good luck to your scan tomorrow! I am sure things will be alright!

Adora, can understand your anxiety. But at 4 weeks, baby WILL be SMALL In the meantime, just rest well.

Oz, that's strange, you have breakouts when you take EPO? My sis take it to stop her breakout.

EPO helps to balance out the hormones in your body. Actually, I take it not to help conceive. The main reason for my taking EPO is due to some mild arthritis that I had and I read in papers that it helped. Gals who are TTC says that EPO also helped to give them more EWCM and some says regulate their menses as well.

folic

 

[porcu]

Ocean,
Read about your problem with low fluid level. My wife had the SAME problem and it worried the shit out of us the last time. But things went well, but my wife had to go for C-Section at week 38 since it's dangerous for our baby. I think the measurement for fluid is about 5 or 6.

In fact, my wife had a miscarriage the first time. Went for DC and it was sad (year 1999). But we tried again 2 years later and she had the low lying placenta (&amp; placenta not providing nutrients, etc like Tian Tian's gf) and low fluid problem, which was discovered at week 15. Her placenta was SO close to the onus that the gynae asked her to stay in bed 100% of the time (except for toilets) and she did. We switched gynae to Ms Tanny Chan (Gleneagles) and she did a great job in handling the situation. Very expensive though but I am thankful as my son is now coming to 2 years already. Birthday at the beginning of Nov.

But since you don't have the placenta issue, there's no real problem. Get past 36 weeks and your baby should be really safe. And with the low fluid, don't want to scare you but chances are you will need a C-section. Think you'll need to get mentally prepared for that.

 

[odie]

Adora... congrats!!!! Stay positive... your baby needs you to have all the faith in him/her.

Ocean... you too. Don't worry too much and keep us posted. *huggies*

 

[elle]

Hi ocean,

Oh u r going for scanning tomorrow huh?
Remember to come and update us.. Remember do insist on whatever service or appointment you see necessary. KKH service towards patient is damn lousy unless you get serious with the staff nurse. So i assume you wld stick to them under your current subsi status huh?.. I really admire your endurance/tolerance with them. 'pei-fu' 'pei-fu'

Wish you all the best and luck for tomorrow's scan!

 

[pregnantbride2b]

Hello Adora,
Congrats on your pregnancy. At least after seeing the doc put your mind more at ease. At least at 4 weeks can see the baby. I went for a scan at week 5 and the doc put a comment "?gestation sac" on the ultrasound and can see a vague dot only.

Folic,
I had breakouts after taking EPO too just like Oz. I have good skin and regular menses. My mum said must take EPO, it's good, so I started taking and I had breakouts every month. I stopped for a while and started again before I got pregnant.

Today, I am feeling very stressed and think I going crazy over everything

. I called my insurance agent yesterday and he gave me bad news. He told me I cannot buy anymore insurance

He gave me wrong infor before I went for the surgery

. Feel so sad... trying not to think about that for now, but it keep coming back to my mind

last nite took me a long time to fall asleep thinking abt this insurance thing. Then just now I got nothing to do and felt a breast lump... sobs... I am going crazy... The whole operation scene keep coming back to my mind... What should I do? I keep recalling the emotional stress I am going through... From wanting to go for an abortion when I found out I was pregnant to dreaming of my own baby to trying to save my baby to a miscarriage

The other day I called my doc on the phone when I started to bleed more when I got home, he told me it's normal cos I just "liu chan"... He said it very softly to me but it did registered in my brain. The word "liu chan" made me so depress after that call. I did not feel that I have miscarriaged before that until the doc told me the fact. I keep thinking whether it's becos of my diet that's why I cannot save my baby. I read that calcium prevent iron absorption and I took lots of milk and soybean when I was pregnant. I din tell my doc that I felt giddy most of the time during the pregnancy. If I have told the doc maybe he would have given me iron pills and my baby wun be dead

Oh dear... tears flowing down as I type these. I did not cry a lot for the last 2 weeks. I just feel very very sad and strangely no tears. I want to start getting my work done but I just cannot stop thinking abt the whole failure. Am I going crazy? Maybe I should go pray and find some peace... I tried to psycho myself to forget about the baby cos it was not plan, but I can't. I just can't forget.
The doc told me I can still try after 3 months. But now, I am very scared... I dunno should I tell my doc... I am even more scared of pain of delivery, be it caesaerean or not after the excruciating I got when they woke me up after the operation. NOw I think I dun wan to have a baby anymore, but I am still sad over my loss. I am also afraid I will regret next time in life when I wan my own children. I have friends my age having 3 kids liao and mostly at least 1 kid liao. I so stressed and confused. sob sob.. what is life? sobs...

 

[hamasaki]

hello ladies, i'm back.. wow, so many postings and couldm't catch up with all of u. ANYWAY, WISHING ALL A HAPPY DAY..

TAKE CARE ALL..

 

[hamasaki]

TAKE IT EASY ulN.. most of us here have miscarriage before and it took us a really long time to get over the pain, sadness and grief..

i hope U will be strong and carry on life as normal.. yr baby is dead and dun dwell too much on her/him.. i believe yr baby in heaven would not want to see U so upset.. be brave.. i'm behind U supporting u by giving u all the strength and support that U need.

dun worry too much abt other things now.. relax and slowly build up yr body to be strong and healthy..

GOD BLESS YOU!!

 

[java]

Hi ULN,
I feel so sad reading your post as I can understand the emotional trauma and struggles u are going through. I wish I can go over to you, use a magic wand and make all the pain go away. Take one step at a time. Don't lump all the problems together. The first step to healing is FORGIVENESS. Stop blaming yourself for the lost of your bb. Its nobody's fault.

You have to keep telling yourself to stop thinking of the past, beginning its very difficult, but pray for inner strength and perserverance. Lift up your sadness and fears to God and ask Him to heal you physically and emotionally everyday.

When God closes a door, He opens a window. Take heart! Do talk to us when you feel down, we are here for you.

 

[java]

Hi ULN,
Perhaps you want to read up on the life of Helen Keller. She wrote this:

<font color="0000ff">When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.</font>

 

[oceans]

Oh <font color="aa00aa">U</font>,

I dont know how to console you. But i think there is too much things in your mind! To tell u the truth, u can never forget the loss. Time will heal the wound, but the scar will always be there.

Really, at this point in time, i feel that u really really must have a good rest! Cry

if u must, give urself sometimes to grieve. All of us here did that when we lost our BB!

But try not to cry too much and take care of your body first!

Dont blame yourself for the loss of your BB.

It is not your fault! Just maybe the little angel

is just not fated to be your child this time. I am sure ur BB would love to see u happy instd of crying all the time. I mean, this is how i feel. So please take care of yourself especially u undergone the operation and was on blood transfusion! Please take care!

<font color="0000ff">Elle</font>, no need to admire me lah! It is just that i dun feel much now abt their svc and i know what to expect/demand.

The nurses are okay if u talk to them face-to-face. Maybe not on the phone.

But there are some Medical officers that are very stuck-up and inexperience. Since my tml appt is with a Specialist, she is ok.

I more worried abt my scan!

<font color="0077aa">Porcu</font>, thanks

for your encouragement! It is really reassuring to learn that your BB was borned healthily!

Am he is now a healthy little 2 yrs old boy!

So, u planning for number 2?

But really, must C-section? Din really strike my mind abt that cos i am still in 2nd trimester and now my main concern is hoping the water level goes up!!

<font color="ff6000">Odie</font>, how's ur job searching? Any news? Hope to hear some good news from u and the rest too!!

 

[adora]

Hi ULN

Don't be sad...try not to cry as it is not good for you.

Thanks for your concern, BB also like a little dote...can't see much...

<font color="0000ff">Now, I am spreading Baby Dust

...GOODF LUCK to those TTCing.</font>

<font color="ff0000">Jia You</font>

 

[adora]

hmmm how come my image not animated???

 

[folic]

Hi ULN,

I can understand the confusion that you are going through. Like Java said, you must not blame yourself for what had happened. I did similar questionings initially as well.. like did I over exert myself, maybe I should not have swum or gone for massage.

Many first trimester miscarriages are unexplained. That is, no one can really find an answer to it. Even for my case, I don't have an answer to why it happened as well. My gynae kept stressing that it is not my fault and that I should not blame myself, and I think you should as well.

Your most important task now is to make sure that you recover well. That would at least give you a better chance to conceive next time, and with less complication. I know it is tough to take it easy now, but you have to take small steps each day to relax.

I was just recalling how emotionally unstable I was during teh first few weeks. I was watching a discovery channel documentary about hot dog stands in US, and for no reasons, I just kept crying for 3-4 hours, till my eyes are swollen. What I am trying to say is, it is normal that you are teary, emotional etc but you have to make sure that you stop blaming yourself or trying to find reasons for the miscarriage.

Take care.. I will pray that you will get well soon. BIG HUGS!!!

folic

 

[odie]

Hi ULN... like what the rest had said... you must never blame yourself. Trust me... all of us felt the same way as you do. We looked for reasons... we blamed ourselves... we felt angry and even doubted that we will ever get pregnant again or even if we do... whether it will be viable.

Time will heal all wounds.... give yourself some time and don't be too hard on yourself. Very soon you will be looking forward to getting pregnant again... because life is such a wonderful thing. If you can be grieving so badly now... I am absolutely sure that you are a good mummy and will make a good mummy to your future babies (oh god... I am almost going to tear again writing this).

Hi Ocean... I am almost there liao. The boss and HR manager are both out of town... they need to discuss on the pay before coming back with the letter of offer. Otherwise... the job is mine to take =) Anyway what I understand from the employment agent is that the pay will not be lesser than the max that I have asked for. Yeah!!! So anything more than what I had quoted will be a bonus Just got my keys to my new aparment... so will be moving soon. Will be an exciting period with new job and new house And yes... good luck for your scan tomorrow.