Support group - Miscarriages

Celeste, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Have a good talk w your hubby and I'd say follow your heart as to whether you should proceed w the iui. Alot of times we already have a 'decision' deep in our hearts. Takecare and jiayou!
 


Celest,
hugs, sorry to hear about ur dad. I can understand how you feel about giving your dad a grandchild, I also have the same wish for my family. I try not to make having a baby the main focus of my life, I think tt my mum would not b happy if she knew I was upset over it. I think your Dr would have recorded notes on your IUI trial and not likely to forget.

I think you would be the best person to decide what to do as you understand your situation and issues best. Like what others has suggested, perhaps a period of time alone would help clear your mind and help you in making a decision.

No matter what you decide, everything will still work out, so dun stress yourself out over making the 'right' decision.
 
Thanks ladies,
Been thinking if u postpone for a cycle, will it affect the success.
As my dr already confident with my lining track, I dun wish it to lost the chance.
Same time I super confusing, my hubby thinks I'm stress out during this period but decision is all up to me.
Now I'm trying my best to stay positive abt my dad result.
Maybe on Monday I will call up n check with the dr.
 
Need advise on dr su. As im still on hospitalization leave and my spotting has kind of lessen, would it be advisable to see dr su this week myself? hb on reservist for 2 weeks and im thinking to see her to tiao my body first before gng w hb aft his reservist?
 
Jhw,
I have cancel my IUI for this cycle.
Agree with my hubby, my emotion is too tense for IUI.
Success rate wouldn't be high too, so save the money n effort for the next cycle.
Meantime I will like focus on my dad. Been stay positive... Really pray tat nothing is wrong.

Thanks sisters for the courage I receive during this time.

CJC,
Did u went thru D&C?
If that so, then spotting will only totally stop at 4 to 6 weeks.
Best is wait til ur spotting totally end then go for a TCM.
During this period it not advisable for any tonic, as it will cause more spotting.
 
Hi Celestine

Yes went thru d&c. My gynae did a scan n said only left a tiny bit of fluid to flow. But will heed ur advice, wait till its complete n tog w my hb n c dr su.

Hope u are feeling better.
These few days are better in terms of emotions though stress get on me due to the workload i forsee when back to work. I know i should rest and not think so much but just cant help it. Was packing away the scan pictures n bills and got a bit sad. I was telling my LO that he/she will be my baby again next round and he/she is now being well taken care by HIM.
Compared the pic w ny first ger, there is a big difference in growth..it seems like it toally stop at 4 -5 weeks. which is during Xmas period. Guess its fate to be with HIM..
 
Celest

hope your dad is feeling better now..
meanwhile you can try natural too....
stay positive and jiayou...
Hugzzz ....

CJC

ya as per celest's advice,
you can see Dr su after your bleeding stop...
you can go by yourself if your hb not free...
but its good that your hb can let her feel his pulse too...
 
celest / miloqueen
Take care, I just recovered from a long cough which comes one and off as well. I took manuka honey, seen TCM 2 x time, took wu gong wan (good for cough), and golden throat lozenges (for my throat).

celest
Sorry to hear about your dad. Everything will turn out fine and keep praying. Commit everything unto the Lord and keep trusting him.

All
I was asking my boy who is 9yrs old now about having a sibling, his answer to me was that he don't want, sibling is noisy and will disturb him, snatch his stuff, and mommy and daddy will not love him anymore and will love the sibling more etc. Hearing all these, I am not sure should I continue to TTC or just call it all quits. On 1 hand I would like to have 2nd child, but on the other hand, worried about my boy's words, the age gap between 1st and 2nd chld, the caregiving and logistics needed for 2nd child... Feelings in dilemma and not sure what should I do.
 
mouseaction,
i hear you, however i think the choice of having a child is quite personal.
Either way will be ok, i have a friend (only child) who said the same thing as ur child, he's doing quite well. i have seen cases where the age gap between the siblings are relatively big and the older sibling dotes on their younger sibling.
its hard for anyone other than yourself to decide if you wish to continue trying or not. hope this helps.
 
Mouseaction, I recovered the last round but the cough came back again with several colleagues around me down with flu. Think I need to go see the doc again otherwise can't get to ttc healthily.

On your ttc plan, I second what Una shared. I think it will take time to prepare your first to accept another sibling and indeed, I've seen several elder siblings who care so much for their younger sis/ bro.
 
To: All

I am writing my 2nd book now and is calling for co-authors who are keen to contribute an article about their pregnancy journey. My aim is to help spread the message and let more people aware of such pregnancy complications and hope to avoid such problems in future.

See link if keen or PM me...
http://www.feliciatan22.com/?p=250
 
Hi ladies,

I just gone thru a D&C when my angel was 18 weeks. it's really sad moment for me and my family.

Now into 2nd day post D&C, besides the bearable pains on tummy area, I too feel that my breasts are tightening up, as if there are breast milk accumulating. Is this normal?

Should I pump out or just leave it?

Thanks

Ixora
 
Hi Ixora (sonic),

Actually should have medication to stop it because once you pump it, is like starting the engine, it will keep flowing. Likewise, if you leave it, it might clot and engorement, not good either. I learn it the hard painful way, so please take med to stop it. Likewise, take time to grief.
 
Ixora,

Sorry to hear from your loss. Take care.

Celestine,

Think positive and all will be well....

Mouseaction,

My son is also 9 yr old. When he was younger, he refused to have a sibling and said that he will throw away if I have one. That's worried me and make me put on hold till now... and now he said he wants to have a sibling... so kind of regret to hold so long before trying.... so I feel if we want 2nd child we should not worried so much but just assure our child that we will still love them even with a second child......age gap is also one of my concern but I think should be fine as our elder will be able to take care of the little sibling better so just go for it....

Really wish that this dragon year will be over fast.... It have been a tremendous roller coaster year for me..... a bad bad one.... last week I just lost my grandma....
 
Hi Ixora,

Sorry for your loss.

You can get prescription from your gynae to stop the milk flow. I had it too. Breasts very engorged and soon milk start to flow. After taking medication for 1-2 days, it will stop.
 
loxra
Sorry to hear of your loss. Take care and rest well.

Una/Miloquee/Ling
Thanks for sharing. I will just try natural, if have will accept it as a blessing, if nope, will accept it as well. Guess I should not think so much after all.

Ling
Sorry to hear of the demise of your grandma. Take care too. Keep an open and happy heart, snake year will be a good year....
 
Hi Lovelies,

My fourth baby left me just yesterday at 6 weeks plus. I managed to see my baby as a tiny sac on the scan, but still that was enough for me. I shall always remember this cute picture of peace.

My breasts are also sore. And now experiencing the contractions, as my womb clears itself.

I already accepted the miscarriage, and I pray that I can meet my two unborn children in Heaven.

My first miscarriage was 6 years ago. It was my very first child.
 
Hi Princessleopard

Thank you for the hugs. Mini confinement, plus lots of question marks...But life has to go on. I have two other precious to look after.
 
zen

i am sorry to hear that !! big hugzz !!
for mini confinement:
- replace plain water with Dried Longans + Red Dates + Ginger Tea for 2 weeks to 1 mth
- eat plenty of food cooked with Sesame Oil + Ginger
- Sleep Early and wear socks to sleep.
- have plenty of bed rest
- Do not carry heavy thing for this one month.
- if someone cooking for you, take the usual confinement food everyday.
- you can drink chicken essence too.
- once bleeding stop, you can start to drink Bazhen & shi quan da bu weekly.
- best is to get a TCM sinseh to tiao your body.
 
hi

will be doing a D&C on Friday. So am thinking of ordering catered confinement food. Any good personal recommendations?
 
Hi Sisters,

missus went for 2nd scan last friday @ week8, cannot detect heartbeat. hearbeat was detected on week6.

Going back again on Tuesday for a re-scan. D&G on Wednesday @ KKH with Dr Sadhana.

Some questions

1.) having discussed with missus, initially wanted to go for TMC for 2nd opinions, but she explained since going for 2nd rescan this Tuesday, KKH has the best facilities, not necessary to go TMC for 2nd opinions.

2.) Dr Sadhana explained HB stopped is due to genetic issues. We can go for an analysis test, cannot remember the name, but we are going for it.

3.) Missus tested +ve after 1st IVF, is it true she must rest and recover for 3months, before we try 2nd IVF?

4.) After D&G, does Missus has to go for confinement food and wear socks? Missus is seeing TCM Tan Siew Buoy, who has already prescribed her some chinese herbs to be taken after D&G.

5.) Is it true that D&G has to be done properly? best by an experienced doctor, to avoid any complications?

6.) if missus is able to get pregnant, can i assume it is a good sign compared to unable to get pregnant?

7.) Both of us are free-thinkers, do we just leave KKH to dispose the foetus? Was thinking if i can have it cremated?

Both of us was pretty sad on Friday, but have strengthened up the next day to move on.

Thanks all for your kind inputs.
 
Hi Nitro, sorry to hear this from you.

I also had experienced the same thing as your wifey. My first pregnancy was also through ivf fet and baby heartbeat not detected on 8weeks. I went through D&C at kkh, after D&C, menses will only come around 6weeks later. Your wife can start ivf again once dr has checked and ensure her womb is clear. Generally after 2nd menses you can try again. I went to do a few fet 3mths after D&C but its unsuccessful. Some people say need to rest 6mths but i guess i wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible so that i can forget my sadness but the subsequent fet cycle doesnt work for me. I ended up rested for 6mths and do a new cycle at private clinic. I guess its up to you and your wife how mentally prepared you guys are for the next cycle.

During the D&C, the doc will scrap some samples from the cells and do lab test on it to see any abnormalities. When you revisit the dr after the surgery the dr will let you know the lab test result. I guess the hospital will do the disposal, they didnt ask me for options to deal with the embryos. They are not consider as foetus yet because its less than 8weeks so i guess no need to do any cremation.

I did a 2week confinement after D&C. Didn't really take any herbs but had alot of food with lots of ginger and bath in herbal water and drink red dates with longan water. I wore long sleeves top and pants and socks whole day at home. Basically keep the body warm. Oh i drank dom and chicken essence daily.

It can be consider as a consolation that your wife is capable of being pregnant. Please try to console her and show as much concern and attention to her as possible. I was depressed for quite a few months and would cry occasionally. The sadest moment is at the operating theatre where they about to start the procedure. I cried badly at the op theatre until i was knock out by the medicine. I will never forget that moment, its my lowest moment in life. It's easy to say that you have move on, but in the heart its really difficult to let go. Only time will heal.

Good thing is Im pregnant again through ivf now but i still have the fear of miscarrying it.

Have faith that your wife will pregnant again, its just a matter of time.

Take Care.
 
Hi Nitro

sorry to hear about both you and your wife's loss..I too lost my bb at week 11/12 (bb stopped growing at week 8 or 9-frm my 2nd fresh cycle)


1) Can't help cos not with kk..

2) If going for the test helps for you to find out, just go for it.--Apparently it's a higher rate of miscarriage for bb's with ivf/icsi procedures--cos of chromosome/genetic defect..sad but true
sad.gif


3) As what Adeline suggested, it's good to have at least 1 cycle or 2 or get a green light from your doc-depending on individual body before next treatment. Do your wife have any frozen embryos left? If she has then good that can proceed to FET direct no need endure all the jabs and ER/ET again.

4) It might not be the whole total full confinement but no hard and fast rule..but for me i think no harm try at least 2 weeks (i did 2 weeks mini-confinement)- drink Longan red date tea, keep warm esp feet, chicken essence, DOM/bazhen, TCM (if any), food with ginger, avoid cold/raw food ie. sashimi/sushi etc

5) Yes in fact if D&C is not done properly, might leave scars in the womb which cause infertility. If possible, try to opt for natural miscarriage or miscarriage with pills. But still depends on individual preference and also if she is the type who can endure pain- from experience, plus point is that it's natural and when done, go for scan to see if everything's clear in womb. Downside- you don't know when it'll happen as in when the pain will come it might be late into the night (like my case) and last a few hours. So do what you both feel comfy about.

6) Definitely good sign that she is able to get pregnant.

7) Hmm your wife's case actually bb considered too small..might be a just a sac..so hospital might just dispose as 'medical bio-waste' but you can check with kk and ask about the procedure if you really want to cremate.

it takes really a long while for my husband and myself to get over it..and even now, whenever we look at the only picture and scan we have of our bb, we can find tears in our eyes again. Just have to fight on and do what we can for now i suppose..and what will come, will come in time to come..hope this helps


Adeline
Congrats on your pregnancy..all the best!
 
Hi ChrisL & Adeline,

Thanks for the replies and supports.

Yeah, the analysis test is called 'Chromosome test'.

Googled on Chromosome, realized there is a 'Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD'.

http://www.advancedfertility.com/preimplantation_genetic_diagnosis.htm

Preimplantation genetic diagnosis involves testing done on in vitro fertilization IVF embryos prior to transferring them to the mother's uterus. The testing is done either to check for a specific genetic abnormality (such as a disease like cystic fibrosis), or it can be done to determine if the embryos are chromosomally normal (also called aneuploidy screening)

Q1.) not sure if this PGD is available in KKH

Q2.) any idea if 1st IVF ended miscarriage, will 2nd IVF has the same chances of miscarriage?


May the force be with everyone.

Cheers
 
Nitro
1) don't think PGD is allowed in sg currently unfortunately- but hmm cos im not from kk, you might want to ask dr sadhana directly

2) actually there's no ground that if 1st ivf try resulted in mc and 2nd one will also. I suppose it all boils down to luck..i am still hangin on to the hope that there will be miracles though
 
Chris > Ganbatte Kudasai.

May the force be with everyone. IVF is indeed both physically and mentally draining, looking at the number of jabs my missus took, plus the emotional pain after 8 weeks.
 
Hi nitro,
It is never easy and thank you for being sensitive to your wife needs. I lost my twin last oct and till now still trying hard to let go. Wishing you and your wife all the best. I have gone through 2 miscarriages and both at 2nd trimester. So if need to, you can contact me for any advice if you want.. Stay strong and have faith.
 
just back from the scan to confirm no Heartbeat.

btw - 'Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) is available in KKH

Hi Horsie > sorry to hear about your loss. I have dropped you a PM. May the force be with you.
 
Hi Sisters,

Need some advices after D&G. Is it ok to go back work on Day2? Missus's idiotic boss is asking her to go back office on fri, after D&G on wed. Being a workaholic, she has agreed.

also for mini confinement, is Sister Hui's postings enough?


for mini confinement:
- replace plain water with Dried Longans + Red Dates + Ginger Tea for 2 weeks to 1 mth
- eat plenty of food cooked with Sesame Oil + Ginger
- Sleep Early and wear socks to sleep.
- have plenty of bed rest
- Do not carry heavy thing for this one month.
- if someone cooking for you, take the usual confinement food everyday.
- you can drink chicken essence too.
- once bleeding stop, you can start to drink Bazhen & shi quan da bu weekly.
- best is to get a TCM sinseh to tiao your body.
 
Hi nitro,

Very sorry to hear about what happened.. I know how difficult your ttc journey has been, i'm from the iui and ivf thread as well and has gone thru a loss too.. Stay strong and have faith that you and your missus will have a bb..

I think what hui has posted for mini confinement is adequate.. Your missus is going to tcm dr tan siew buoy right? Can consult her too.. As for going to work after D&C, it depends on how your missus is feeling physically.. The MC is more for us to recover emotionally.. But diff people manage their emotions differently.. Some prefer to go back to work earlier and resume their routine to help keep their mind off.. Maybe you would like to ask your missus what will be good for her..

Would like to check with you something.. With regards to the PGD, i was under the idea that it's illegal in singapore unless there's a risk of either parent passing on a life-threatening illness.. My hubby has thalassamia minor and a congenital heart abnormality but was still not allowed to do it.. Did your doc say it can be done for all ivf?

Take care..
 
Hi mini,

for PGD, Dr Sadhana said we don't have to do that, unless there is a generic disorder in the family, and it is avail in KKH.

I didn't ask much after that, as today consultation is meant for D&C

for next attempt, I will push for PDG if we are eligible, rather pay a bit more than go through all these physical and emotional pains.
 
Hi nitro,
Your misses might think working is best for her now to keep her mind off. Just ensure that she don't overwork or having not enough rest. TCM should be good too since she need to work, I am also seeing Tan Siew Buoy, so you should be in good hands.
 
Hi Sisters,

After D&C, is it normal to have cramps and pass out blood clots (size of a thumb)?

Wifey experienced twice so far.

1st time - Day 7 after D&C
2nd time - Day 8 after D&C
 
Hi nitro,

Yes, normal. Cramps might be due to womb trying to reduce back to normal shape. Blood clots because still have some tissues that might come on and off. D&C reduced the number of blood clots passing out but will still have, the difference is more or less only
 
Hi nitro,

I didn't have cramps or pass out blood clots after my d&c but had slight discharge all the way till my AF came 5 wks later.. I think it's just our system purging the old blood.. I think it should be ok in your wife's case but if the pain persists after about 10 days or so, you might wanna check with the doctor for peace of mind.. So far, i've not heard of anybody having to go back for 2nd d&c so don't worry k..
 
Hi nitro,

No, don't get me wrong. D&C is a delicate process, is like separating fruit from its skin. You scalp too much, you might scalp off the skin tissues and make healing longer, scalp too less much of the fruit is still left inside, that's why the blood clots that is coming out. So have to strike in between and leave some "fruit" to come out slowly rather overdo it. All I can say is after D&C lesser blood clots, no D&C more blood clots. As to how much is a lot, you have to ask doctor already..
 
To: nitro

No prob, is nice to know a guy will want to find out more for his wife and not raising the alarm unnecessary to stress her. She is blessed!
 
Ladies,

I want to know more about natural miscarriage. Well, yes I got a 2nd miscarriage. This time, baby stop growing at the 4th week. Its again no explanation, probably genetic. As the baby is still small and I started have spotting, doc advise to wait for natural discharge. My first was D/C, so I dunno what to expect for natural one.

Something weird did happened. Day 1 I had spotting. Day 2 I felt the cramps throughout the whole day, then a very intense cramp came and follow by a "flesh" flow out. I thought that is it. Day 3 I went to doc for scan, but the waterbag is still there, doc cannot explain what came out of my body, probably part of the foetus but though seems kinda too huge for part of it. I was advised to rest for a week to see if the remaining will flush out itself as the foetus is too small for D/C. But nothing happened thereafter, no cramps no discharge. I thought we may need to do another ops if it does not flush out. So, a week later, we do the scan again, surprisely the waterbag and surrounding tissue is still there but so much smaller. Reason given probably shrink or dissolve. No ops require but I was given to flush out the leftover tissue in the body.

Can I check how is the case like for those who goes through natural mc? I am not sure when next menses is coming cos not sure when is the exact date of the mc. Very confused here.
 


Princess.
BIG HUG HUG!! Didn't saw ur comment anymore n i assume that u are pregnant.
Previously i'm using D&C, so i duno how natural works.
Maybe u can go for another Dr for 2nd advise?
DUN give up hope my dear, Now focus on tiao ur body first.

Last few weeks, during my scan for IUI, Dr notices that my womb is not in a good shape. Alot of bump ard it and it not as triangle in shape. He suspect it due to some injures during my D&C. The Dr over scape and clean it and cause some prob. Next cycle, i will requires some inner scope to see my womb. SO, i wouldn't advise u for another D&C, It really very hurting to our delicate womb.
 
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