Support group - Miscarriages

Celest, snoopy,

I rather tell them, yes I am still enjoying couple life. I do not want to let them know my tough ttc journey. You will never know how far this new will spread and I will not have peace for a long time. Lucky, my hubby very protective. When my mil ask if I cannot conceive, my hubby straightaway tell her that its her son who have problem, and cannot have baby, not me. This way, my mil will not dare to spread bad news around about her son.
 


Snoopy n princess,
My hb relative keep asking me n stare at me, yet my hb alway stare back at me n expect me to ans or walk away.
No choice, I hv to ans in polite way. I'm trying hard n brush them away.
Those ppl blindly see us on the surface n judge us.
Ever since my MC I had nv visit my mil n any gathering, believe they be gossiping behind me. But I chose to ignore n avoid as much possible.
CNY arrive soon, it a must gathering for my hb relatives. Duno how face them again. Haiz!!
Now finally we had done all the tests, only waiting 10 Dec for my result.
Staying positive!!
 
Celest,

Stay strong. Dun care about them so much. They are just kpo people who are not even part of our life. I was also fear of CNY now, but I just got to know I dun have to face them next year. Cos my mil to stress over her 4 grandchildren and decided she need a long holiday break over CNY. So, no house visiting for my HB's side.

Good luck with the test result!! All will be fine
happy.gif
 
Princess,
What come, will come. I wouldn't think so much too, they just pass by in my life. *wink*
Wa!! U super lucky. This year u can avoid those nonsense relatives.
Duno if I shd attend at least one cny gathering at my inlaws side.
Got to discuss with my hubby soon, hope we can go hoilday on cny.
 
Celest,

Ya, perhaps can go holiday during that period. At least got decent excuse to get away.
I think I cannot avoid the reunion dinner with in-laws. Got to face them somehow, what is sickening are my SILs and their 2 toddlers and 2 babies.
 
mich,

Ya, but I had been through the tough part already during this year cny. Luckily next year no need to go visiting. Hopefully year 2014 I have a baby to carry around to stop all the gossips.
happy.gif
 
princess, me too! i m visualising myself bringing my babies around next cny.

i feel a bit wei qu now, i was away these few days coz i went to visit a lot of drs. my hb's tests results r out, n results not good, sighs. 1 dr mentioned tt the mc is a complicated thing, n amongst which b caused by non-ideal sperm. hb like dun believe tt mc can b caused by his side, he keep telling me if its of bad quality, then how come can fertilise the egg n get pregnant in the first place. then i oso dunno how to explain to him.
 
una

your hubby is same as mine...
my hb ever told me MC is my problem, not his...
but i get my TCM, Dr Su to Whack him for saying that.

Btw, Mich = una ?
happy.gif
 
jhw,

Yes, I remember. Just that the reunion dinner is going to be a tough one to sit in the same table with selfish people....feel very sian. Just got to endure that 3-4 hours. Then, can get on with my life again.

I am trying very hard to divert myself away from the cny dinner. Just concentrate on my own life and live happily. I will just leave 2013 to the later part, now live life to the fullest for the rest of 2012!! My home reno going to finish soon, then will do some X'mas shopping, go for holiday, X'mas shopping again, then X'MAS!! Afterwhich countdown for the new year and start ANEW!!!!
 
princess, thanks for the link, must show hb to make him understand.

jhw, yups, i'm mich. 2 days to the due date for unastella, just thinking of her.

i had to get my results from the $120 tcm coz for some reason parkway labs dun allow tests without dr referral, no choice. but i dun feel comfortable with her, so now need to find another dr to whack him to understand tt! he can see the results for himself, but he is still in the "i dun think poor quality sperm can fertilise" state of mind".

can someone help me understand? last time when the hb do the tests, is it referred from a fertility clinic or the gp/gynae/urologist recommend?
 
Princess,
My hubby is those tradition family man.
Come to CNY, it a must to gather no matter what happens.
Go for hoilday on tat period might be a big no. Haiz!
Been thinking of visiting my MIL before CNY arrive.
Least on cny we wouldn't be tat Paisia infront of those gossip relatives.

Ur Sil, u try ur best to endure bah. Most imp ur hubby need support n protect u.
Those ppl might try show concern n drag up the pain we had, our hubby need to be a shield protecting us.

Mich,
My hb was referred to NUH. We took the refer letter from polyclinic.
Since it only a tests, we decided to save money by going gov hospital altot I hate it. Lol
 
Celest,

I see. Must be tough on you. Endure ba...this is something we have to go through for now. Things will get better after that.

Do you have to follow your in-laws whole day for house visiting? Can show face a bit and leave?

Ya, after going all these, I think I can endure one dinner with them. Perhaps put on ear plug before going in. Hear no evil and eat happily.
happy.gif
 
princess

ya i understand the sucky part about CNY with the in-laws...
happy.gif
but i mean, you will definitely be able to carry your baby around in 2014 CNY...
happy.gif

oh ya... you can put a xmas tree for your new home !!! i am going to do that too... its my first xmas in new flat this year....

mich,

my hb also don't understand that...
Dr Su been telling him again and again that his Sperms is also important for me to conceive a healthy baby... if let's say a guy keep drinking cold milk daily, his baby will have chances to get asthma etc etc.... so sperms are very impt too but they fail to recognise that... probably due to EGO...
 
jhw,

I put up my X'mas every year after thanksgiving. This year, there is some delay cos I am still painting my walls. Hopefully, this weekend can put up. That is the happiest thing!!
 
hi sisters, not only union dinner hav to meet with all the relatives, plus i still need to hav lunch, dinner for the next few days....
sad.gif
my hb also traditional mind, big big no to go holiday during cny...
i dont like cny since last year cos keep asking by my/his relatives, he & my mil wont pretect me when ppl ask... so sad....
sad.gif


this year, i dont hav mood for christmas, cny... every festival... cos jobless after mc, i not dare to get $ from him.. he also not give me.. i hav spend my own saving...
when think abt cny , i m more frustrated....
sad.gif
 
princess,
thanks, ya, think positive, believe in the secret, n yea! new year new start n have babies in 2014! likes xmas tree! next time i will get my own place n decorate a nice xmas tree n have presents underneath for my children.

celest,
ya i rem ur story abt e not so nice dr at the polyclinic. ugh... i'm thinking of doing the same way as u; if u dun mind me asking, after the test result was out, who explained the results for his test? n also how much did it cost in all? we got his test result but dun really know how to interpret the results. mabbe we will go n test again if its not too ex, at least got dr to follow up.

jhw,
wah u hit the spot, my hb likes to drink cold milk directly from the fridge, i din realise tt has any effect. better stop him. ya, i oso think its the ego. i hurried him to 2 different tcm after the results out, i know i'm v ks, then fortunately he doesn't mind taking the tcm meds. hope everything goes well...
 
snoopy,
i believe every family has their own issues, but is it possible to sit down n talk to ur hb abt the $ situation? i think not sustainable for u to not work n spend ur own savings somehow. mabbe can try to set up a joint account or something? i think its a matter of responsibility n providing for his family le...
 
Mich,

Keke.. I nvr post pic before.. Later i try..

Just now had gathering with my ex colleagues at one of my ex coll house.. Her bb's 1 yr birthday was yesterday.. Learnt one of my colleagues is 8 wks preggy now after trying abt a yr.. She went to that marine parade tcm for 2 mths only and conceived.. Wondering if it's a sign for me to go too? Haha.. Cos just few days back, hubby suggested why not we go and see him since ivf has been postponed to feb.. I decided to postpone it cos dec my doc on leave and i don't want it to be done by covering doc..
 
Snoopy, princess, celest,

I guess not too bad for me cos my relatives are ok, never ask me abt bb stuff.. My hubby don't really have relatives, we only go his mum's house for cny.. Actually i get more of such things from my mum cos she's very ai mian zi and atas kind.. Keke.. The day after my d&c my hubby sent me to her place so she can look after me.. She started telling me to keep my m/c a secret from the family and her friends and not to mention to anybody.. When her friend dropped by to visit her, she reminded me to stay in the room, close the door and don't come out so her fren won't know i'm there.. My hubby was very upset when he found out but i know my mum's 'pattern' so many yrs already so i was ok la.. But after a lung surgery in sep, i think she has finally mellowed down a little..

Jhw,

Hmm.. I think cold milk is fine? Sometimes we don't have to worry too much about such things.. Hubby also need to enjoy their food.. Of cos if can reduce intake of junk food will be good.. But i think milk is ok..
 
Min and mich
i dunno leh because dr su warn my hb to stop his daily cold milk intake as it will be bad for future kids... so now he reluctantly stop le...

Min,
Actually recently i contacted a friend who got married the same mth as me... she had two mc earlier on but now just gave birth to her lovely princess... it was ban choon chan who helped her to tune her body before conceiving the third time... since u haf been seeing him, u shld go back to him...

Mich,
glad tt your hubby is willing to visit tcm with u!!!

Snoopy
agreed with min, u shld have a good talk with your hubby as he need to be responsible to the family too...
 
Min81, I really feel that u shd go to marine parade tcm n tiap before your feb cycle dear... No harm gg ya... Jia yo

Sisters, I oso feel v sian to meet certain friends n relatives... Avoiding them most of the time.... Today one of my colleague asked me again if I m pregnant (cos I'm fat), she tot I m preggy but bantang to say cos haven over first Tri.... Gosh! How many times I have to repeat n assure her I m not pregnant n I m not lying!!! Faint....

Sorry sisters.... i sidetrack abit...Feeling down.... Cd24 & I'm spotting brown with some small clots... My cycle seems to b getting haywired as its getting shorter n shorter... Think I cannot escape the hysteroscopy procedure in dec Liao
 
snoopy,

Perhaps when you are ready, can start to look for job? I feel its better to be financial stable before moving on, else its very unhealthy to worry about money issues constantly, esp during ttc journey.

mich,

You will have your own place one day and put up a nice X'mas tree!!
happy.gif


min81,

So lucky you dun have to deal with those nonsense.

GBOB,

How many AF cycle after mc? Normally should be stable about 2-3 cycles.
 
Princessleopard, shd b 3rd or 4th af le. Cnt recall cos I changed my phone so I kinda lost my tracking info... Sigh... I took cytotec on 17 July.
 
GBOB,

Why are you prescribe cytotec? I roughly do a search to find its mainly for gastric ulcer/labour induction.

Perhaps your body is still in the process of recovering? Some people recover faster, some people slower. Its individual. If doc suggest hysteroscopy, then no choice lo, at least after the check can have a peace of mind.
 
Princessleopard, cytotec is also used to induce miscarriage. Cos I chose to wait for natural mc after no hb was detected but it doesn't happen for me... Waited three weeks also nothing happened so dr gave me cytotec to take. After one hour of consumption I got intense cramp n bled then clots came out.
 
GBOB,

I see. Hormones are something very difficult to predict and guess. They can be so tacky at times. If there is a solution/treatment, go for it. After that can ttc again.
 
GBOB,

I can understand your frustration. We all wanted to ttc ASAP but thinking back, we do not want another mc. So why not spend a little time to get your body back to normal to ensure our genes are in good condition to get us through a smooth pregnancy and healthy baby? It will be worth the wait.
happy.gif
 
GBOB,
I'm also trying to b patient like u, 1 of the tcm I saw told me tt it's not advisable for me to ttc before I bu my body, coz will likely just result in another mc. Same as wat princess said..
 
Ladies, so it is safe to ttc again the month after AF comes? I was on clomid on the cycle when I got bfp and as my DH's sperm test 2 years back was alright, gynae said likely to be quality of the egg. I'm in 2 minds if my cycle resumes to normal then should we try as on one hand concerned about the success of the pregnancy if really blessed with another bfp and one the other hand, I took 4yrs to strike and if I wait longer, can I really be successful again on this ttc journey.

Is successful pregnancy within 1-2 cycles after m/c common? Some said the first 6 months after m/c is the most fertile.
 
jhw, min,
i requested my hb to stop taking the cold milk partly coz the tcm in chinatown asked us not to take any cold stuff, ice cream included. actually i feel tt i try to do my best to ensure things go smoothly.

min,
if u want to visit the ban choon chan one, den need to go soon, i oso went to see him, (as i mentioned i'm v ks) then they r gg to b closed from 17 dec to 2 jan 13. n not open on mon n tues.

haha i just found out my hb is spying on my activities on this forum. is anyone else's hb reading wat u ladies r writing here?
 
Princess,
i was regretting few days back why didn't i start ttc two months ago when i was supposed to be fertile right after mc.... and also more wet... (this mth was pretty dry, dunno y)... but after reading what u wrote really comfort my heart... yes!!! We want a smooth pregnancy for the next one...

Mich

No, my hb not reading this forum thats why i dare to bad mouth him... though he stop drinking cold milk, behind my back, i really dunno and can't control what he is doing, so better not do it in front of me or let me catch him haha, or i shall make him kneel on durian shells... must recycle the durians shell after eating ma haha

Btw mich, dun sleep so late!!!!
 
Miloqueen,

Ya many people say that so i guess there are those who had successful pregnancies after m/c.. I was also impatient to try soon after m/c.. But my close colleague advised me to wait.. She had her m/c at 39, doc told her to wait 6 mths, she chose to wait nearly a yr.. Eventually conceived and gave birth at 41..

Mich,

Ya my hubby does come in here from time to time
happy.gif
He was the who intro me to this thread after my m/c.. Thanks for the info on ban choon chan
happy.gif
Will go next wed, wanna avoid weekend..

Jhw, mich,

Haha.. Maybe my hubby and me not so disciplined.. I don't tell him wat not to eat cos don't wish to restrict him.. His diet is pretty ok too, maybe not in the tcm sense, but alrite in the medical science sense.. Even when i have craving for something sinful sometimes, my hubby does not stop me and will go out and buy for me.. He feels that the mental state of mind is very important and doesn't want me to get all wired up about avoiding so many foods as long as we take things in moderation..
 
Min, I'm hearing conflicting advice. Gynae says can start after first AF and there are others that say, 3mths, 6mths. Discussed with my DH and we both agreed stop clomid for now, I guess got to wait for AF to report first and observe the cycle closely. My clock just started clicking from zero again and the wait is tormenting!

Btw, after m/c do we wait for at least the next AF before getting intimate again? :p
 
Miloqueen,

My gynae gave me green light after 3rd af.. I think it's diff based on individual condition.. My colleague said maybe doc told her 6 mths cos of her age, take more time to recover after d&c.. Some were given the go ahead after 1st af.. U might wanna check with ur gynae.. But i would think should not take clomid first.. My doc said can have intercourse once spotting stops..
 
My Gynae gave me green light after first af. He said if can get pregnant will get pregnant if body still not well enough to get pregnant then wnt get pregnant.... -_-"

By the way does anyone know must rest how long after hysteroscopy then can bd?
 
hi guys, went for a wash yesterday but today realized not much bleeding. noticed dark brown discharge. is it normal? cos I remembered doc told me I will bled for a week to 2 weeks
 
Una,
Paisia now then reply to u. Tis forum moving FAST.. LOL
Each time we paying hundred for those tests. Everytime is my HB paying for me, so i alway act blur. Haha! Actually with Gov subsidy wasn't alot wor, but better then nothing.

For HSG alone, paid $131.75
Blood Test & Ultrasound, Less then $100
Pap smear n addition one test tat i can't recall the name, ard $100 plus.
My Hubby troop tests, ard $60.
 
Miloqueen
Actually my TCM give me green light to start after first AF
KKH also told me that I can start after first AF
But i never ….. because firstly, the elderly say must give myself 3 – 6 mths time and let my womb rest…. Secondly I had wisdom tooth surgery after Second AF, so I decided to Rest one month to let the aesthetics (dunno spell correctly?) be dispelled from my body before I TTC again.

Jes….
For me I bled for one week that time, but mine was natural…
I think it depend on individual body….. some less some more ….
 
Gbob,

What your gynae said sounds logical
happy.gif
Regarding the hysteroscopy, best to check with doc.. Generally, to BD, if got spotting must wait till spotting clear.. To ttc, not sure..

Jes,

Don't worry, brown discharge is normal..

Celest,

So when are you going back for review of results?
happy.gif
All the best!!
 
miloqueen,

When to start ttc really depends on individual. Need to wait till hormones stabilise then can ttc again. Elderly will say after mc within 3 months can get preggy again cos very fertile. Gynae will give about 2-3 months later to start again. For me, my first AF camme back normal, so both gynae and tcm give me green light to start ttc. So, I start on the 2nd month. Its better to start after gynae done your review.
 
Min,
My appt is on 10 Dec. Can't wait to hear the result. Thanks Dear.
Each tests, i will ask the incharge. Any problem? They alway say it looks normal and okay. So i'm only worry abt my Hormones & Hb troops. But i'm taking it easy, no point worrying right. *wink*

Miloqueen,
My Gynea give me the green light once my first AF started but my previous TCM ask me to wait at least 3 mth. According to previous TCM, she saying my womb is very liang, even pregnant happen i might lost my bb again. So i took her advise and tiao my body for ard 3 mths. I'm preparing a better womb for my BB to stay in, it good for my BB and my own health too.
 

I'm not sure I'm doing d&c. the doc removed the dead fetus in my womb using like a "vacuum" to suck out. if it is d&c, I shd bleed more right? cos base on what I see, I think less than a week, my spotting shd be finished.

if it is normal as what u guys said, I feel more relieved.
happy.gif
 
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