sorry a long post, but i need to tell somebody...
Its just so hard sometimes, i did an u/s when i was supposed to be 6w, but the sac was well, too small. the dr asked me to return at 8w, which was last fri. i was spotting n bleeding throughout the 2 weeks, but i figured from googling that it seemed that a first trimester loss cannot be prevented n it seemed pointless to go in too early, so i waited for 2 weeks. the u/s showed that there was no sac left and the lining was still being shed. so i got meds to help my uterus complete the miscarriage.
then my hb's cousin's wife just delivered their second child last week. I had to visit them yest, go to the baby shop to buy a baby present while i cramping and bleeding out the remains of my miscarriage. hb told me i din have to go, but if i din go, there would be a lot of explaining and well, i din want to explain anything. his family is quite tightly-knit...
no one other than my mum, my hb n myself knew abt the pregnancy this time coz when i last miscarried in may this yr, hb's family were kinda blaming me about how i sleep too late n well, keep too many pets and etc. i din want to hear all that again until i passed the first trimester, which didn't happen. no one knows i was miscarrying. When we visited his cousin, everyone was just asking us "when is ur turn? see the baby is so cute."
i know that the baby is cute. i wish i m still walking around pregnant. its so lonely and miserable...
i pm u... TIA
