Support group - Miscarriages

Celest ,

I already stay with her for 5-6 yrs ... She will not force me to eat , so it's still okie ... But i always got this concept , which is ~ any food on the dining table is meant to be eaten.. So i will get extremely angry when I taste any spoilt food and the food are those which I might end up feeding my son .. Actually she is quite a good mil , she will not demand me to do anything in this house ... It's jus that some habits are hard to change .. 1 year ago we bought a house , move out 6 months ago .. But sometimes I will ask my hubby to move back ( with me and my son ) , for a short period of stay .. They so old le , with my son around they not so lonely .. I always feel that it's best not to sandwiched my hubby , thus I will only bring up those things which are serious ..
 


The food she will put in fringe at night then morning re-fry .. So still edible .. But now I stop eating the overleft food in this house , since 3 years back .. I will not demand my mil to change, it's already a habit for 30years? 40? Or even 50 .. I will not ask my hubby to ask her to change , cos he already living in such enrionvement equally long .. Its jus the same when i don't wish my hubby to change my family's habit ..Until the day he understand and tink I am right , then he will do what he should ..
 
Wa... U such a understanding DIL. Thumb up.
For me, I dun think I have the courage.
Not that I dun want, just that I have enough of my mil drama behavior. Now most imp is to form a family for our own. Rest of them, I wouldn't care much anymore. Of cos I wouldn't stop my hubby to visit my mil, as I dun wan him to trap between us too. As long dun drag me along, I'm totally fine. Hopefully one day I will find my courage to face her again.
 
Snoopy: I am now focusing all my attentions on my girl, at least when i see her smiles and when she call me ma ma, i felt so much better and also my hubby has been the greatest support since my MC.


Celestine: i understand what you mean, i am trying to move on so that my baby will be happy in heaven and i know for sure she doesnt want mummy to be upset. I will jia you and thank you.

Windy: i think writing it out is really a way to release my stress and frustrations and sadness. took me a long time and alot of courage to write here. and my biggest strength comes from my hubby and my little girl.

PrincessAngel : my heart goes to you too. my first day back to work was pretty okay coz no one dare to ask me about what happen. all they said was please take care.. really thankful for that coz i am not ready to talk about it openly at this point of time. coming back to work is a good thing coz it diverts my attention to work and i have less time to let my mind wanders. thanks and i will take care.

ChrisL: sometimes i wanted to cry but just couldnt although my heart feels so painful everytime i think about it. just couldnt take it off my mind of the whole incident. oh sorry to hear that u also delivered your baby in the toilet? it was like a big shock to me coz i have never see such scene in my life even when i delivered my elder girl i din have to witness the actual delivery. its really unforgettable and traumatizing.
I am going to do chao du for my little angel at one of the temple, eventhough i am unable to take care of her anymore i want to make sure that she is well and happy somewhere else.

min81 - thanks i will take care of myself, u too.

Shoppixe - thanks i will. i have to come back to office coz i have been away for really long and also coming back to office i have colls for company and they chit chat with me so time pass by faster. are you a SAHM or you working part time?

God bless our babies (GBOB) : thank you for the offer and i am glad to have so many support from here. sometimes i din want to cry to my hubby coz i know he must be very stress and he has also lost his daughter, i dont wana further add on to his sadness. i can cry in front of him but he cant, he has to give me strength and support. so i guess i will have to trouble all ladies here at times.

tomomi: wow you are really young. ya i think u know how i feel exactly. when i heard the result my heart just sank! why me i kept asking myself. and took me awhile to accept that we ned to do more test to find out whether my baby is DS.

Ladies,

can i ask i have spotting after D&C for about one week and then stop, clear for 2 days and then yest have brown discharge again, is that normal? or the spotting will come back on and off?

i have to stop drinking DOM and taking tonics coz my tcm sinseh said i am very heaty, and i have been having bad headaches. anyone experience the same thing? any fruits i can take (other than apple) coz i am also having constipation.

tcm said just take his med for now and stop all the tonics coz he said he is worried that my body cant take it.

i was so exhausted after one day of work yest and i fell asleep at 9, anyone of you feel tired after going back to work? i guess my body is still weak coz my coll said i look very pale.

hope my body will get well soon before i ttc again.
 
Wendy

When I visited Zhonghua, they also told me the same thing, as in Just concentrate on taking their TCM med and reduce Tonics Intake…
Because they scared I too Heaty… (Which I have heatiness symptoms, one of which is chapped lips)
But After I visited Dr Su, Dr Su told me totally different thing. She Say I still never “bu” enough…. Ask me to continue to Bu non-stop.
I ask her but what if I am heaty? She say Just Ignore and continue. AS Long as there is no Sore Throat, there is No need to stop.
Maybe you want to seek Second Opinion from other TCM? Because After I listen to Dr Su, My Health improved a lot… No Longer have Cold Palms in Aircon Office.
This is the Time you need tonics the most… and can Absorb the fastest …. So I feel that you should seek second opinion.

After my MC, I also have bleeding for one week, then Stop for a day totally clean, then Brown discharge for one day after that.
So I guess, it is normal….

Where you stay? Maybe you can sign up for Chao Du in Singapore Buddhist Lodge…. I heard from Some sisters that it is still in time to register….

http://www.sbl.org.sg/
maybe you can call up before you go down..

Take care and Jiayou my dear !!!
 
Wendy,

I had spotting on and off for 5 weeks till my AF came.. Went to see doc but all was ok.. Doc said if no pain or fever should be ok.. So maybe you wanna observe first.. Best to see doc if you're unsure..

Take care!!
 
Wendy,

Try to go Eu Yan Sau to buy one box of the Bai Fen Wan to take for one week (inside there is 6bottles). I find that is really good as it helps to recuperate your health after miscarriage but must be cleared from spotting then you take. Personally I feel that is ok to take tonics as your body needs it. If you dont feel safe then seek for second opinion.
 
Celestine ,

I not a good DL cos I do zero in this house , my mil is the one doing everything .. But she got some weird habit thus I choose not to help ( already explained to my hubby ).. My job scope is my son , and my hubby already told my mil not to interfere with the way I handle my boy ( though sometimes she will ).. Mil already 70, fil 72 .. Am quite happy to be part of this family though there will sure be conflict ..
 
wendy,

My spotting is kinda on and off for about 3-4 weeks. 6th week then first AF.

Is your headache those kind that does not goes away, even if u take medicine? I do have it back then cos body too heaty. Usually miscarriage only do mini confinement but my mil forced me to do 1 month. My body cannot take it as I am originally heaty person. So, after 1.5 weeks of the heaty foods, tonics etc, I start to have headaches that does not goes away, then 2nd week, I start to have nose bleed. I showed my mil my bloody tissue then she keep quiet and stop the confinement food. Still, she kept on nagging I will regret not taking the 1 mth confinement. Sigh.

I go back to work after 1 month, so did not experience the exhaustion. I only know first week at home, I am very weak and all cover up cos I feel very cold.

Take care!!
 
Wendy,
Spotting aft D&C is normal.
I had on n off spotting until 6 weeks. Shorty my first AF arrive.

Try avoid all the liang fruit. We can only take durian, longen.
I also having constipation but Dr Su ask me to ignore. Just continue take her medicine, as she make changes of the medicine. Shorty I realize my constipation had really improve. Duno Isst her medicine or bcos I took more veg. *^^*

Meantime dun stop drinking LRD.
Oh... Ur headache appear at ur back of ur forehead?
Dr Su saying it bcos our body dun have enough enegry to expel the wind out. Same time the wind keep going in our body which is not good sign at all. She advise me to see her once I got any headache during my menses period. That is the best time to expel the wind. Next time bring this symptom to ur TCM.
 
Meanwhile go for post natal massage good for our womb as they will strengthen and push back our womb and helps to expel wind.
 
Hi all, i have also been taking red dates and bazhen.. Yest juz tried bai fong wang.. Sometimes i scare i over heat myself too.. Trying hard to recupuate before TTC.. anyone has any tonic to share here too?
 
Princess,
For the Ba Zhen, drink only once a week. LRD u can drink everyday.
U can try black chicken soup too.
Once princess leopard share a recipe with us.

Black chicken soup

Herbs to buy: 

01 pcs - Tang Gui Head (buy from YuRenSheng, cut on the spot) 
30 pcs - Red dates (seedless) 
01 pcs - Black Chicken (below 1.5 kg preferably Hen not Rooster) 
some pcs - Ginger (pressed down) 
03 strings - Spring union (tied up) 

Seasonings: 
Hua Tiao Ju - 3 tablespoons 
Light soy sauce - add per own tasting 

Method: 
(1) add all ingredients into a rice cooker 
(2) add water enough to cover chicken 
(3) cooking manner similar to cooking rice 
(4) recommend 2 cooking circles, ie press cook again once 1 cook circle complete to ensure all ingredients are very soft 

This recipe uses rice cooker, but I used slow cooker. I cooked for abt 2-3 hours, until left with abt 1 bowl of soup. If u find too heaty, then drink 2/3 bowl will do, not necessary 1 bowl.
 
thanks Celestine, yea Bazhen i try drink once a week. But i drink those instant ones though. Wonder if the 'effects' are the same.
 
Cheryl n princessangel,
Not too sure wor. But think it best to drink once ur spotting end.
I remember Dr Su ask me to stop any tonic n her medicine during my AF.
Best is to ask ur TCM...

Ba zhen Instant type shd be the same.
But I prefer to boil it myself, as I felt it more fresh. Hehe!
In fact it super easy to brew if u have a slow cooker.
In the morning, I raise the Ba Zhen n throw in with 2 bowl of water. Turn to auto mode. Then by time I reach home, it just nice for me to drink. U can also add DOM before u drink it too.

Oh... DOM is also another good tonic too. Drink it everynight before u sleep.
What I did was, a tablespoon of Dom n mix with warm water.
It helps to warm up my womb...
 
In addition to What celestine has shared, During your AF, please brew Black Sugar Red Date Tea instead of Longan Red Date tea..
Meaning… Normal day Drink LRD tea….. Menses days drink Black Sugar Red Date…
Just replace longan with Black Sugar will do.. This drink is especially good for Regulating your menses flow… and to relieve cramps
Add Ginger for best Results… I remember Black Sugar + Ginger combi very good for Menses ….
 
Hi Cheryl,

Dr Su located at Bukit Batok. I stay at yishun too. i start to see her more then half a year if u find it to far from your house maybe you can try visit her during weekend to see how was it 1st. if you need more of her detail can let us noe im sure lots of mummies can help
 
Cheryl,

Dr Su is ard Bukit Batok area. sbw & yishun I am not sure if there is good tcm. Dr Zou is AMK area, right? I think there is ppl recom.
 
Cheryl,

This is Dr Su contact:

Fu Nan Traditional Chinese Medicine Centre
Blk 152 Bukit Batok West Ave 6 St.11 #01-266.
Tel : 6896 1618
Physician Su

Operating hours:
Mon: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm
Tue: 8.30am - 12pm
Wed: 8.30am - 12pm
Thu: Closed
Fri: 8.30am - 12pm / 6-9pm
Sat: 1.30pm - 5pm
Sun: 8.30am - 12pm
PH: Closed
 
First visit, go with your hubby and get Q no. May need to wait 1-2 hrs depends. But subsequent visit can call to get Q no, so no need wait so long.
 
Jhw,
Now everyday I'm adding ginger to my LRD too. Do u think it fine?
Felt it might help my wind to expel too. Hehe! Notices that my headache not as bad anymore. *^^*
 
Cherly,
Heard from my hubby colleague whom visit Dr Su.
After a few round with Dr Su. They mention to her abt the distance travel n request to have abt 3 weeks of medicine. Surprising Dr Su approve. U might wan to tell her abt ur travel distance too. But I'm sure, for first few visit u might need to see her every weekly. Slowly she will increase the time longer.
 
Celest, no problem at all. I added ginger and wolfberries to my daily LRD tea ever since day one. Ginger for dispelling of wind and wolfberries for antioxidents.
I asked dr su if it is ok. She said Very Good!!! And because of the ginger, i dispel wind very easily, everytime after dispelling, i feel very good. Even my stomach bloated problem before mc also improved alot
 
Dang gui is also one of the herbs tt to be taken with moderation during pregnancy. I feel like asking dr su this sat, wat if we are in early pregnancy and we didnt know and we happen to eat ba zhen

anyone have anything to ask her?
I m visiting her this sat
 
Jhw,
Thanks! Good to hear that. Will need to add wolfberries too. Wink!
How much wolfberries u added each time huh? I'm using a big thermal flask.
Wow, u did alot of research. Thanks for sharing. *^^*
 
Hi ladies ,

Jus to inform u all that I am taking baby aspirin and vitamin d .. Search from net and realized Vitamin d quite important in pregnancy .. Will be wise to check our vitamin d if we seldom expose ourselves to sun ... But taking this both is recommended by my rheumatologist due to result of blood test ..

http://www.sharedjourney.com/articles/aspirin.html

http://conception.lifetips.com/cat/55932/miscarriage/index.html

http://www.pregnancyfood.net/vitamin-d-and-pregnancy/

http://www.gettingpregnantnow.org/Articles/The_Fertility_Nutrient__Vitamin_D.html

Too many links .. Feel free to surf the net for other links =)

But need to tell some mummies which did not know , I am ever tested to have ANA positive ( but the positive changed back to negative , doctor suspect i am at very mild stage ) ..that's why my gynae is working hand in hand with the rheumatologist recommended ..

Do not take without telling ur gynae .. Will be better to seek advise .. And at the meantime , I am unable to take Tcm due to the baby aspirin and vitamin d , maybe my rheumatologist don't wan me to mix ..
 
Wow!!!! Luckily the Anlene milk i taking every morning contain vitamin D!!! I suppose i no need to take additional vit D liao, just go out exercising in the sun will do. Hooray!!
 
Cos I hate the sun , hahaha .. Jus walking a while under the hot sun cause me sun burn ...

God bless ,
Mine is D3- vitamins . 1000iu ... I not sure if it is sold in guardian .. But I took 2 tablets per day cos it is instructed by the rheumatologist .. Correct range is 20-30 , my vitamin d is only 21 .. So he is doing precaution .. According to him , it's very important cause it might affect us during breastfeeding in future , a lot of vitamin d will be lost.. If it goes lower than 20, it will cause (skeleter osteoporosis ? I forgot the medical term ) But better don't take without medical advise , cos not everyone is low is vitamin d ..
 
Jhw, tomomi,

I watched a tv program on health recently.. The doc mentioned with 10-15 min in the sun daily, is sufficient for vit d intake.. And better when it's before 11 am and after 4 pm cos don't wanna hurt the skin also..
 
Min,

Ya, it's okie for those who will go under the sun .. But I really hate the sun .. So I am always indoor .. And I tink 1 year of breastfeeding affected my body a lot ..
 
Tomomi,

Ohh..ya then better that you take supplements.. Hope you don't mind me asking, how did breastfeeding affect your body? Hehe.. Haven't had my own child yet, so don't know such stuff..

Actually i don't particularly like the sun either cos i have eczema and being under the sun exacerbates the condition.. But can manage 10-15 min, and prefer morning sun..
 
Min81,

Do u drink milk? I check my anlene milk got vit D de, u can try if u like milk


Chk with u,
must there be sun when we stand there?
What if there is no sunlight but still day time.
will we still get vitD?
 
thanks for the links tomomi
happy.gif


Finally got time to sit down and surf net cos im baby sitting my niece and nephew
happy.gif
wah not easy with children esp in the terrible 2s and 3s stage..
 
Jhw,

Ya i love to drink milk
happy.gif
Bought anlene before too.. After finished the whole big tin, now back to fresh milk cos nicer.. Hehe.. But now gonna buy another powdered milk cos the other ladies doing ivf are all taking that cos very high in protein..

Hmm i'm not very sure how it is if you stand in the shade outdoors but i think it's fine leh.. Cos doctor says at home also must put sunblock cos uv rays still enter.. And even if go out inthe sun also must have sunblock.. I don't think we have to situnder the sun and 'peng gang' ourselves
happy.gif
I got pigmentation problems so definitely won't do that..
 
Sorry i need a place to say out my prob...

Last year after i noe i was preg me n hb was busy prepearing our wedding(jan 12). sad things happen i bleed n find out bb had already stop growing. i had this fren which i asked her to be my "jie mei" so things goes on smoothly hubby tot wedding can make me happy till few days before my AD my this fren told me shes pregnant which make me broke down on the spot as i feel so sudden n heartache why cant she hide it from me till my wedding ends. she did not come on that day my mood very bad and i have to faked my smile. Cut short we din really contact much cos i afraid to see her growing tummy and she will start to tok about her baby. Things starts to get better as i find out im preg again we start to have common topic start to msg again. Now the prob is back things r bothering me as her edd is getting nearer i cant stop thinking after she give birth how happy she will and ive stop seeing fb as i don not want to see her posting like what she had prep for her bb pic. this kind of feeling keep bothering me. I told myself i still can have another but i just cant stop thinking feel so horrible
 
Piky,
I understand how you feel
My poly mates just organized a Meetup in Sept too… But I dunno if I should reject this meetup because, two of them are Preggy now, both EDD in Oct…. and One already got a Kid
If I meet them, they will be happily talking about kids… But I just M/C…. not sure if I can take it….

For your Situation, I think your Jiemei have to tell you that she is pregnant..
Because if she is pregnant, She cannot be your Jiemei on AD… due to the fact that Wedding and Pregnant Woman cannot clash together in Chinese Custom ….. So I think She meant you well too….

Min81,

Better don’t take fresh Milk.
My TCM advised me and my Hubby Not to take any Fresh Milk because it will affect kids’ breathing Issue, especially My Hubby, because he is the one contributing Sperms mah…
But she say it is okay for us to take Formula Milk…

U are right hor, at Home also got sunlight come into the house hor haha
 
Hi piky,

Hugz.. I understand how you feel.. And i know how tough it is trying to heal our wounds..

Maybe from your friend's perspective, she didn't want to upset you at the wedding after she saw how you broke down earlier.. There are many people who do not know what to say when they hear that someone has miscarried.. Rather than say something wrong, they choose to avoid.. Don't think too much into it k..
 

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