Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Chrisl, for the past 2 AF after mc, I have slight cramps. Not very severe so I ignore it. I dun used to have them in the past. Not before AF. But it doesnt seem to be in the same area though, sometimes left side, sometimes right side. How about yours?
Lambi
Well-Known Member
ladies thanks for input
My cramp is yes same as you princessleopard sometimes left and sometimes right..
niko my FET will be starting in May after my May's AF..think anytime soon in the earlier May as what i calculated..but shall wait & see cos after mc hormones haywire so it might not come as i want it to come also...hmm..oh im with this fertility clinic- a sub-divison of a hospital in another town see this link http://old.sthf.no/omST/2576/3945/ and my doc is Kahn
http://www.varden.no/nyheter/babyfabrikken-skal-bli-storre-1.234944 hehe he's an 'uncle' lol
niko my FET will be starting in May after my May's AF..think anytime soon in the earlier May as what i calculated..but shall wait & see cos after mc hormones haywire so it might not come as i want it to come also...hmm..oh im with this fertility clinic- a sub-divison of a hospital in another town see this link http://old.sthf.no/omST/2576/3945/ and my doc is Kahn
http://www.varden.no/nyheter/babyfabrikken-skal-bli-storre-1.234944 hehe he's an 'uncle' lol
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Chrisl, hmmm not sure its this is normal though. I am going to check with gynae on the next visit.
Lambi
Well-Known Member
when will you visit your gynae? Im also thinking of asking my clinic..see and compare 'notes'. Do you still drink cold drinks these days? For me sometimes i drink cold water/juice etc and ice cream hehe..don't know if that's the reason why..like now typing, the cramps are back again..but i have not had any cold drinks today just some cold strawberries a while ago..hmm
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
My next visit is in 2 weeks time. I cut back a lot on cold stuffs a lot nowadays, after the mc. I used to loved cold stuffs alot, cos I cannot take heat. I need cold stuffs to bring my body temperature down. But I am not sure if they are causing my womb to be "cold" that why difficult to conceive?
Lambi
Well-Known Member
Princessleopard..i see..hmm actually in chinese TCM point of view, yes it'll make the womb cold which in turn more prone to mc..actually it's good to avoid..but i sometimes is naughty and steal some 'treats' lol btw, you can also try to wear socks at home to keep feet warm if you're that type that is prone to coldness on hands and feet de..
For me I din do any confinement..it's been more than two weeks since my mc n I been taking cold drinks Liao...waiting for the first AF to cum. Now already started looking for jobs so after the 3 mths i can start to ttc in the new coy..
For my first pregnancy abortion, I had dnc n had been boiling red dates, black dates, Longan n dang sheng for a few weeks..n got eat about one week of confinement food. Now this time mc is like light AF so din really do anything.
For my first pregnancy abortion, I had dnc n had been boiling red dates, black dates, Longan n dang sheng for a few weeks..n got eat about one week of confinement food. Now this time mc is like light AF so din really do anything.
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Thanks Chrisl, I am wearing socks at home after the mc. My TCM doc told me feet should be warm & head should be cool. cos I really fear of heat & i can sweat easily.
min81
Active Member
Hi Ladies,
Would like to check with you all about something cos I'm a littl worried.. Had D&C exactly a month ago cos of miscarriage.. Had just very slight bleeding 2 days after that, then it was brown discharge all te way.. The thing is, it's been 4 weeks.. A few days ago, all the discharge stopped for 3 days so I thought it was over.. But yesterday, there was suddenly so much brown discharge.. And it's still continuing till now
Is this normal?? Cos I thought the staining shoul not last so long.. If it's normal, then I'll just wait it out..
Would like to check with you all about something cos I'm a littl worried.. Had D&C exactly a month ago cos of miscarriage.. Had just very slight bleeding 2 days after that, then it was brown discharge all te way.. The thing is, it's been 4 weeks.. A few days ago, all the discharge stopped for 3 days so I thought it was over.. But yesterday, there was suddenly so much brown discharge.. And it's still continuing till now
Is this normal?? Cos I thought the staining shoul not last so long.. If it's normal, then I'll just wait it out..
Min81, not sure for your case. I think better consult with doctor. Mine was not thru D&C. My bleeding last for a week and the doctor at A&E took out the whole pc of blood clot (like pig liver) using forceps.
The only thing I am suffering now is that I still have on and off pain at lower abdomen. I hope it will goes off by itself soon. I am seeing TCM at the same time to tiao my body.
The only thing I am suffering now is that I still have on and off pain at lower abdomen. I hope it will goes off by itself soon. I am seeing TCM at the same time to tiao my body.
min81
Active Member
niko michi,
Thanks.. Now hard to find time to see doctor also cos back at work.. Hope all's ok..
I just went to the washroom.. It's actually reddish stains now.. Wondering if it's my menses.. Cos I took a look before I flushed.. It's got a little blood, like when having menses.. But could it come so soon? The discharge from miscarriage ended only 3 days ago.. But it's been 4 weeks since D&C.. Anyone had the same experience?
Thanks.. Now hard to find time to see doctor also cos back at work.. Hope all's ok..
I just went to the washroom.. It's actually reddish stains now.. Wondering if it's my menses.. Cos I took a look before I flushed.. It's got a little blood, like when having menses.. But could it come so soon? The discharge from miscarriage ended only 3 days ago.. But it's been 4 weeks since D&C.. Anyone had the same experience?
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Hi min81, perhaps its ur AF. Since u mentioned its start to appear red in colour. Norm AF will start 4-6 weeks after d/c. But to be on the safe side, u better check with ur gynae. They dun open during weekend?
jonesmng
Member
hi ladies,
just want to share with you an article that i have read regarding a protein called Trim28.
http://www.a-star.edu.sg/Media/News/PressReleases/tabid/828/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/1620/Default.aspx
just want to share with you an article that i have read regarding a protein called Trim28.
http://www.a-star.edu.sg/Media/News/PressReleases/tabid/828/articleType/ArticleView/articleId/1620/Default.aspx
Lambi
Well-Known Member
min81 i think it should be your hormones haywire that explains the unusual spottings..but to be sure, go to your gynae to check..well for a piece of mind and to make sure if you have no other leftover tissues laying around 'in there'-cos sometimes if the D&C not done good enough, the bleedings might be 'leftovers'..
min81
Active Member
Niko michi, princessleopard and chrisl,
Thanks so much for the advice.. Ya think i have to go and see next wk.. Now it's back to brownish discharge.. I don't think it's leftover tissues cos i had gone back for follow up after d&c and the scan had showed uterus was clear.. That's why so frustrated cos dunno wat's wrong..
Thanks so much for the advice.. Ya think i have to go and see next wk.. Now it's back to brownish discharge.. I don't think it's leftover tissues cos i had gone back for follow up after d&c and the scan had showed uterus was clear.. That's why so frustrated cos dunno wat's wrong..
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Sigh....AF came yesterday. Going for SO-IUI this month then
I had my scan today by Dr. TanHH. Everything is clear and he scheduled my IVF on this June. Meanwhile, he said whatever thing I want to do e.g. TCM, Accu or massage, I can do it within month and once I start my injection, I cannot go for those things anymore scare that it may clash with the IVF treatment.
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Chrisl, cos we try naturally for 3 months, if still not good news then go for iui lo...i actually thought this month got chance. My breasts sore so much this month, bigger than current cup size, never happen before & menses was late for 5 days. I think this month hormone kinda haywire, cos totally no sign of AF is coming yet it just suddenly came. I actually felt "preggy" but then AF came.
Hi ladies, I am now 8 days post d&c, the first week I had only minimal brown discharge. Suddenly from yesterday till today I am having red discharge and it's like a light menses flow. Is this normal? My gynae follow up is 15 may, should I bring it forward? Worried... Haiz
Lambi
Well-Known Member
princessleopard
i see..hmm sometimes pms symptoms are rather alike preggy ones
1cloud
me too i experienced similar up and down inconsistent bleedings days after..i reckoned the womb is healing that is why too. But for a peace of mind bring forward your appointment .. my tot is that emotionally wise, we hv gone thru much so don't need the additional 'what ifs' to burden your thoughts with again..so why not?
i see..hmm sometimes pms symptoms are rather alike preggy ones
1cloud
me too i experienced similar up and down inconsistent bleedings days after..i reckoned the womb is healing that is why too. But for a peace of mind bring forward your appointment .. my tot is that emotionally wise, we hv gone thru much so don't need the additional 'what ifs' to burden your thoughts with again..so why not?
min81
Active Member
1cloud,
It's actually 4 wks past d&c for me and the discharge has not stopped.. I had a review 7 days past d&c and apparently, all was fine.. My next appt is too far off, so i just made appt to see the dr next monday.. If possible, i think maybe u should bring forward ur appt too..
It's actually 4 wks past d&c for me and the discharge has not stopped.. I had a review 7 days past d&c and apparently, all was fine.. My next appt is too far off, so i just made appt to see the dr next monday.. If possible, i think maybe u should bring forward ur appt too..
haze02
Well-Known Member
Icloud,
After my D&C. My spotting only ended 6 weeks later.
To ensure urself, then go and visit ur gynea.
Ladies,
Im so down. Lately been TTC.
Menses was late for 9 Days, i thought BINGO.
2 days ago, menses started. Haiz!!
Today receive a news from a friend. She 6 week pregnant. Wanted to congrats her but yet im so heartbroken. Why isst some mother easily conceive and for me it took us years. So tired.
After my D&C. My spotting only ended 6 weeks later.
To ensure urself, then go and visit ur gynea.
Ladies,
Im so down. Lately been TTC.
Menses was late for 9 Days, i thought BINGO.
2 days ago, menses started. Haiz!!
Today receive a news from a friend. She 6 week pregnant. Wanted to congrats her but yet im so heartbroken. Why isst some mother easily conceive and for me it took us years. So tired.
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
celestine, cheer up ok? we just got to keep trying!
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
celestine,
I know what u r going through. Now only can let time heal the wound. And try to put ur focus somewhere else. It took me 3 mths to be able to talk about my mc openly with my family. I avoid the topic coz it brings back memory. As time goes by, u will feel better. Not to totally forget this whole thing but to move on from here. Grieves come back every now & then, but we have to divert from it and think of something more positive. Its not easy but got to try. Lately I had been struggling with the thought of if my bb is still around, it will be born this July. Coz a colleague who got preggy 1 mth before me, is giving birth next mth. She is all excited abt it now. That is this thought keep coming back. I am trying hard to outwin that thought.
You can do it!! Jia you!!
I know what u r going through. Now only can let time heal the wound. And try to put ur focus somewhere else. It took me 3 mths to be able to talk about my mc openly with my family. I avoid the topic coz it brings back memory. As time goes by, u will feel better. Not to totally forget this whole thing but to move on from here. Grieves come back every now & then, but we have to divert from it and think of something more positive. Its not easy but got to try. Lately I had been struggling with the thought of if my bb is still around, it will be born this July. Coz a colleague who got preggy 1 mth before me, is giving birth next mth. She is all excited abt it now. That is this thought keep coming back. I am trying hard to outwin that thought.
You can do it!! Jia you!!
vanilla04
Active Member
Hey Ladies,
Just wanna share something that i found. I, too had a loss this year 3rd Feb. I lost my baby boy due to Placenta Abruption or Pre-Term Labour at 25 weeks and 1 day. It was hard. My boy will be born anytime now or already born. If he is still inside me he will be 38weeks and 4days.
Anyway, i hope u girls will feel better after reading this.
Very meaningful and encouraging.
Hope you gals will feel the same.
A rainbow, the beauty that comes after a storm and a symbol of hope, is a description women lovingly use for their babies that are born after a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss.
For women who have experienced a loss, conceiving a “rainbow baby” doesn’t make them forget the loss, take it away or diminish it, but it does give them hope for a new chance at motherhood.
Just wanna share something that i found. I, too had a loss this year 3rd Feb. I lost my baby boy due to Placenta Abruption or Pre-Term Labour at 25 weeks and 1 day. It was hard. My boy will be born anytime now or already born. If he is still inside me he will be 38weeks and 4days.
Anyway, i hope u girls will feel better after reading this.
Very meaningful and encouraging.
Hope you gals will feel the same.
A rainbow, the beauty that comes after a storm and a symbol of hope, is a description women lovingly use for their babies that are born after a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss.
For women who have experienced a loss, conceiving a “rainbow baby” doesn’t make them forget the loss, take it away or diminish it, but it does give them hope for a new chance at motherhood.
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
Thanks Castiel's mummy!! It's so meaningful
Celestine, try to cheer up ok? Don't let this affect your relationship with your hubby. Maybe try to get away for a short weekend trip it may help in taking your mind off things. I know it's hard cos I also feel very emo all the time and keep thinking 'what if' and 'why'.... But we will get through this. Jia you...
Castiel's mummy, that is very sweet. It must be so hard for you to lose your precious boy at 25 weeks... Hugs.
Castiel's mummy, that is very sweet. It must be so hard for you to lose your precious boy at 25 weeks... Hugs.
haze02
Well-Known Member
Princess leopard & Icloud,
If my baby still ard, he/she will be due on July too.
Til now I still can't find the courage to face my Mil. I know I sound crazy, but partly she causes my MC. Wanted to forgive her but it so hard. The hate n hurt is too strong.
Mother's day arriving, it making me even more down. Yet same time I had celebrate with my mother.
Had to move on slowly.
Looking at my husband suffers with me, so painful.
Wish I can forget abt everything.
If my baby still ard, he/she will be due on July too.
Til now I still can't find the courage to face my Mil. I know I sound crazy, but partly she causes my MC. Wanted to forgive her but it so hard. The hate n hurt is too strong.
Mother's day arriving, it making me even more down. Yet same time I had celebrate with my mother.
Had to move on slowly.
Looking at my husband suffers with me, so painful.
Wish I can forget abt everything.
Lambi
Well-Known Member
Castiel's mummy
thank you for the very meaningful and encouraging post+picture..yes i also can't imagine your 'bigger loss' emotionally and physically as your boy was 25 weeks *HUGS* Are you trying for another one now?
Celestine
*hugs* i understand that..for my case i partly blame my dad..i know i shouldn't be but then i thought that if he didn't come visit me and made me so stressed..eh well..anyway i told myself that it's all over now..no use pointing fingers and that it might be that my bb was not growing that well for my case..and it might be other reasons like progesterone not enough or infection of some sort (as i fell ill during the 1st trimester)
I supposed your MIL didn't want that to happen either..it might be really nature's way of doing things ya? Try not to think all the bad stuffs..instead, look on the brighter side..For me and hb, we cried it out for few days. Then we tried to find closure, and also take time off work to spend time together..go for a walk, meal together..you might want to try that..go for a short trip and spend some 'together time'. It's definitely not easy i know..but i tell myself that my bb is somewhere safe in God's arms. Which trimester were you in then?
Princessleopard--
mine would have been in aug *sigh*
Oh well...my AF is here today! And i am having a bad headache since last evening
thank you for the very meaningful and encouraging post+picture..yes i also can't imagine your 'bigger loss' emotionally and physically as your boy was 25 weeks *HUGS* Are you trying for another one now?
Celestine
*hugs* i understand that..for my case i partly blame my dad..i know i shouldn't be but then i thought that if he didn't come visit me and made me so stressed..eh well..anyway i told myself that it's all over now..no use pointing fingers and that it might be that my bb was not growing that well for my case..and it might be other reasons like progesterone not enough or infection of some sort (as i fell ill during the 1st trimester)
I supposed your MIL didn't want that to happen either..it might be really nature's way of doing things ya? Try not to think all the bad stuffs..instead, look on the brighter side..For me and hb, we cried it out for few days. Then we tried to find closure, and also take time off work to spend time together..go for a walk, meal together..you might want to try that..go for a short trip and spend some 'together time'. It's definitely not easy i know..but i tell myself that my bb is somewhere safe in God's arms. Which trimester were you in then?
Princessleopard--
mine would have been in aug *sigh*
Oh well...my AF is here today! And i am having a bad headache since last evening
vanilla04
Active Member
Hi mummies,
Hope the above article will make u gals feel better.
Yup. It was hard! Really hard!! Tho every pregnancy loss is hard but I've to say, a loss in the mid term pregnancy or more is extremely hard.. It's not gonna be easy in the future as well.
My menses came back le. Still waiting for the O to appear. Tracking OPKs but all negative. Tml I'm going to Gyane and scan to see if there's any egg coming? If not then I'll ask for induce menses so I can start my clomid cycle.
Celestine: tho I do not know what happen between u n ur mil. But I tell u my issue wif my mil. When I lost my bb, I was doing confinement at my aunt place during day time and night time I'll go back to my ILs place as I'm staying wif them.
On the day I discharge from hospital, I go back to my ILs place to take some clothes. My mil told my hubby to fetch her to her mil place tml. I was like wtf!! We r in the most of grieving and u treat it like nth had happen. U r snatching away my pillar when I need it the most. I kept quiet.
Then one day during confinement, she asked DH to mop our room floor. This time round I was damn pissed off and I dash into the toilet take the Pail of water n mop our room. Then my ILs was quite angry with my attitude, wonder y I wanna make such a big fuss over such a small issue?
DH had to explain to them saying my emotion is very unstable now. I told DH tat is it really tat impt to do such small matter now? IF u r really caring enough, can u pls help us during this period of time at least until I finish my confinement.
While DH was explaining to them, DH told them tat I'm really not in the right state of mind. And ask them to bear with me for these period of time. Guess what my mil said?
Mil: oh.. 所以她现在这样，我们就要忍她啦！
When she said this, it is like a tight slap in my face. It is as tho she is saying, losing a baby is nt a big issue wat.没什么大不了，只是死了个孩子嘛！ I am sick. Why do I have to talk all ur nonsense? Its like I'm telling her, cancer only ma, wun die de la!
I was in the room, when I heard this my thinking is GREAT!! Really great!! Finally u said what u meant.
I dash out of the room and said: it's all my fault, no need to talk so much. SHe replied: u dun say who's fault u sit down n talk.
Den I replied her: 你如果有10个媳妇，10个都是会跑的！
Cut short. Later in the conversation, she keep claiming how much she understand my pain. When I told her, u couldn't understand what I've been thru. She keep saying she does and I got so angry, I shouted back at her, you wouldn't understand! So she kept quiet.
After a few hours of confronting, I tot all came to an end le. We said everything out.
Then next morning she called her sil(DH Gugu) told her tat she jus feel like dying. Let me this DIL shouted at her like tat. Even her 10 DILs wanna run away it's also not my biz. And he still sent an SMS to scold DH n FIL.
Reason being very simple. She is angry wif FIL. According to her FIL is very angry wif me, when I dash out of e room FIL is very nice towards me. Talking nicely everything.
She felt tat she muz scold me and she shouldn't have let me shouted at her. But she said when she saw FIL talk so softly to me, she also follows lo. And it became my fault cuz she nv have e courage to flare her unhappiness wif me.
Aft she Ang up wif her SIL, I confronted her. She said she din sleep e whole night and wanted to take pills to kill herself so that we will be the 千古罪人 INFRONT of DH! I am very angry n disappointed by her words and action. How can a mother say these kinda things infront of ur own son?!!
If u wan me to be the 罪人, I do but how could u wan ur own son to be?!!
Another thing, she said she doesn't want to see us anymore. Ask us to move out immediately. If we dun move den she will move. If she continue I see us, she don't know what she might do. She might hurt us with a knife.
Another thing, she said when DH called her to break e news to her from the hospital. She said she wanted to go down to the hospital so much to console her 六神无主的儿子. But nv once did she mention abt my boy who is born sleeping.
Btw, she is a cancer patient. She is going thru chemo back then. She felt tat y she suffer from this illness Liao den I still can like tat say her. Haiz..
Tho eventually we make a pact. But inside my heart I really couldn't forgive her. I really couldn't.
I tried, not I nv try. Recently, when our car broke down, she was wif us. It was very hot and she took out her umberalla to share it with me. I saw those small small action. And I know that she is concern abt me at times. But I really don't know the bigger picture of she would.
I couldn't forgive her for saying those inhuman words to me.
I couldn't forgive her for saying those things infront of DH. How could a mother say those things, even in anger! I can't tolerate.
I already moved back to My mom place. I am so much happier staying with my family. They always got so much funny things.
Then DH Gugu said to me. She is suffering from cancer and I shouldn't have said those words to her. And if she relasp, she wouldn't have a 2nd chance. I was thinking, was my son given a second chance? No. If today our situation reverse, I'm the one who is suffering from cancer and one of her son is dead. The same scenario happened. I would still be the one who shouldn't have said those things to her.
Later I think and I have a conclusion. It is becu they have feelings for her. Not tat they don't have feelings for my son but it's jus not tat much as compared with her. They have been with her for 20 over years. I am the only 1 who felt my son kicking when I talk to him. The bonding I had with him.
No one will have the bonding as much as I had for him. So they just think that, nvm la. Jus have another bb lo.
Haiz.. So I understand tat u wun be able to forgive ur mil. Life is like tat.
But I believe as times goes by things will get better, I believe my situation wif my mil will get better too but it's jus not so soon.. So cheer up!! Jus think for Ur hubby lo. See ur mil jus hi bye.. Smile smile.. If she talk to u den u talk wif her lo..
I hope u r not staying together wif her. If not it will be so hard on u..
Well, cheer up all!! Let's look forward to our 'Rainbow Baby'!!!
Sorry for the ranting!!!
Hope the above article will make u gals feel better.
Yup. It was hard! Really hard!! Tho every pregnancy loss is hard but I've to say, a loss in the mid term pregnancy or more is extremely hard.. It's not gonna be easy in the future as well.
My menses came back le. Still waiting for the O to appear. Tracking OPKs but all negative. Tml I'm going to Gyane and scan to see if there's any egg coming? If not then I'll ask for induce menses so I can start my clomid cycle.
Celestine: tho I do not know what happen between u n ur mil. But I tell u my issue wif my mil. When I lost my bb, I was doing confinement at my aunt place during day time and night time I'll go back to my ILs place as I'm staying wif them.
On the day I discharge from hospital, I go back to my ILs place to take some clothes. My mil told my hubby to fetch her to her mil place tml. I was like wtf!! We r in the most of grieving and u treat it like nth had happen. U r snatching away my pillar when I need it the most. I kept quiet.
Then one day during confinement, she asked DH to mop our room floor. This time round I was damn pissed off and I dash into the toilet take the Pail of water n mop our room. Then my ILs was quite angry with my attitude, wonder y I wanna make such a big fuss over such a small issue?
DH had to explain to them saying my emotion is very unstable now. I told DH tat is it really tat impt to do such small matter now? IF u r really caring enough, can u pls help us during this period of time at least until I finish my confinement.
While DH was explaining to them, DH told them tat I'm really not in the right state of mind. And ask them to bear with me for these period of time. Guess what my mil said?
Mil: oh.. 所以她现在这样，我们就要忍她啦！
When she said this, it is like a tight slap in my face. It is as tho she is saying, losing a baby is nt a big issue wat.没什么大不了，只是死了个孩子嘛！ I am sick. Why do I have to talk all ur nonsense? Its like I'm telling her, cancer only ma, wun die de la!
I was in the room, when I heard this my thinking is GREAT!! Really great!! Finally u said what u meant.
I dash out of the room and said: it's all my fault, no need to talk so much. SHe replied: u dun say who's fault u sit down n talk.
Den I replied her: 你如果有10个媳妇，10个都是会跑的！
Cut short. Later in the conversation, she keep claiming how much she understand my pain. When I told her, u couldn't understand what I've been thru. She keep saying she does and I got so angry, I shouted back at her, you wouldn't understand! So she kept quiet.
After a few hours of confronting, I tot all came to an end le. We said everything out.
Then next morning she called her sil(DH Gugu) told her tat she jus feel like dying. Let me this DIL shouted at her like tat. Even her 10 DILs wanna run away it's also not my biz. And he still sent an SMS to scold DH n FIL.
Reason being very simple. She is angry wif FIL. According to her FIL is very angry wif me, when I dash out of e room FIL is very nice towards me. Talking nicely everything.
She felt tat she muz scold me and she shouldn't have let me shouted at her. But she said when she saw FIL talk so softly to me, she also follows lo. And it became my fault cuz she nv have e courage to flare her unhappiness wif me.
Aft she Ang up wif her SIL, I confronted her. She said she din sleep e whole night and wanted to take pills to kill herself so that we will be the 千古罪人 INFRONT of DH! I am very angry n disappointed by her words and action. How can a mother say these kinda things infront of ur own son?!!
If u wan me to be the 罪人, I do but how could u wan ur own son to be?!!
Another thing, she said she doesn't want to see us anymore. Ask us to move out immediately. If we dun move den she will move. If she continue I see us, she don't know what she might do. She might hurt us with a knife.
Another thing, she said when DH called her to break e news to her from the hospital. She said she wanted to go down to the hospital so much to console her 六神无主的儿子. But nv once did she mention abt my boy who is born sleeping.
Btw, she is a cancer patient. She is going thru chemo back then. She felt tat y she suffer from this illness Liao den I still can like tat say her. Haiz..
Tho eventually we make a pact. But inside my heart I really couldn't forgive her. I really couldn't.
I tried, not I nv try. Recently, when our car broke down, she was wif us. It was very hot and she took out her umberalla to share it with me. I saw those small small action. And I know that she is concern abt me at times. But I really don't know the bigger picture of she would.
I couldn't forgive her for saying those inhuman words to me.
I couldn't forgive her for saying those things infront of DH. How could a mother say those things, even in anger! I can't tolerate.
I already moved back to My mom place. I am so much happier staying with my family. They always got so much funny things.
Then DH Gugu said to me. She is suffering from cancer and I shouldn't have said those words to her. And if she relasp, she wouldn't have a 2nd chance. I was thinking, was my son given a second chance? No. If today our situation reverse, I'm the one who is suffering from cancer and one of her son is dead. The same scenario happened. I would still be the one who shouldn't have said those things to her.
Later I think and I have a conclusion. It is becu they have feelings for her. Not tat they don't have feelings for my son but it's jus not tat much as compared with her. They have been with her for 20 over years. I am the only 1 who felt my son kicking when I talk to him. The bonding I had with him.
No one will have the bonding as much as I had for him. So they just think that, nvm la. Jus have another bb lo.
Haiz.. So I understand tat u wun be able to forgive ur mil. Life is like tat.
But I believe as times goes by things will get better, I believe my situation wif my mil will get better too but it's jus not so soon.. So cheer up!! Jus think for Ur hubby lo. See ur mil jus hi bye.. Smile smile.. If she talk to u den u talk wif her lo..
I hope u r not staying together wif her. If not it will be so hard on u..
Well, cheer up all!! Let's look forward to our 'Rainbow Baby'!!!
Sorry for the ranting!!!
Celestine and Castiel's mummy, sorry to hear about your MIL issues. Try to stay away from your in laws for some time until your wounds heals a bit.. I know it will not fully go away but time will hopefully help... Sometime MILs can be such nightmares le....
I stayed with my MIL for only 1 month during my last confinement and nearly went nuts. The funny thing is, we had a good relationship and she was really nice to me before, but somehow under one roof fireworks flew! Lol! Where it come to in laws I feel it is really better not to stay together.
Ya, we will hold our rainbow babies in our arms soon! And we will throu our experience be good moms and hopefully good in laws in the future! Jia you!
I stayed with my MIL for only 1 month during my last confinement and nearly went nuts. The funny thing is, we had a good relationship and she was really nice to me before, but somehow under one roof fireworks flew! Lol! Where it come to in laws I feel it is really better not to stay together.
Ya, we will hold our rainbow babies in our arms soon! And we will throu our experience be good moms and hopefully good in laws in the future! Jia you!
susanna_low
New Member
Castiel's mummy, when I MC that time, my bestie also say alot of nonsense to me and we are not on talking term for almost 1yr.
Though end of the day, I know that she say all those to brace me up and to encourage me to try again.
To them, they never gone through the pain and could never understand the pain of losing a child. Don't hold it against them.
Meanwhile take good care of your health and ttc again.
Take care.
Though end of the day, I know that she say all those to brace me up and to encourage me to try again.
To them, they never gone through the pain and could never understand the pain of losing a child. Don't hold it against them.
Meanwhile take good care of your health and ttc again.
Take care.
haze02
Well-Known Member
Castiel's mummy & ChrisL,
Thanks for sharing with me.
Thought of the guilty side for hating my Mil, but I simply can't help it.
Those elderly can't leave us alone or give us peace when we needs it the most.
My Fil just pass away from cancer, which my hubby been putting all attention on his mother. I can understand.
Shorty after the good news came to us.
Wish thing can turn back n I could stop him from sharing with my Mil. Then came the nightmare. Could bcos she scare of sharing the attention from her son with me.
Every weekend we will go back MIL place.
Firstly, my SIL keep asking me. Do I feel any vomiting or sensitive of any food? I told her, not at all. Immdently my Mil scolded n shout at me, saying I shd not say those words. It can be very pantang. Keep telling me not to reveal the good news to anyone until I reach 3 mth. My hubby turn to me with an angry looks. BUT who the one asking me those question, It her own daughter! If I dun reply n keep quiet, u all will say I'm proud. If I reply all will say, I'm not careful at my words.
The good news arrive very near to CNY.
Which leave me no time to rest at all. Everyday we need to fetch my MIL all over Singapore to her relative place. She n my hubby didn't even concern abt me in the first trimester. Just expect us to fetch her everywhere she wan go.
On the relative house.
She keep revealing the news to all her relative but same time asking me not to reveal bcos of Pantang.
That make my hubby panic but he didn't confront his mother at all but attacking me instead. Reason, bcos I'm too tired which need to rest, that make us late for an hr to fetch Mil to relative house. When we rush there, Mil show me nasty face.
The whole CNY, I'm been stress out n tired.
Never had a day to rest when I need it n on the same time I need to handle my MIL drama to gain attention from her son.
On the 10 weeks, after CNY ended. I lost my Baby.
My Dr felt it too dangerous to wait anytime longer, same day I need to go thru D&C.
Story not end yet.
My Mil act drama infront of her daughter. Telling them she one that cause me MC, etc. One day I happen to saw my SIl, she didn't even care to ask abt me. Immdently scold me for letting MIL so sad. Telling me that I shd console Mil.
I break down. Who the one lossing my baby! It is ME not HER! With her stress n drama, do u think I can enjoy my pregnancy. Who the one need be console?! It ME!! What make them think MIL really guity for it, Until now there no phone call or SMS from my MIL to concern abt me! She just wan attention!
Sorry to rant so much too. I need to let go...
Things calm down now but still i dun have the courage to face MIL yet, scare I might break down again. On the Mother's day, I already encourage my hubby to celebrate with MIL. Of cos without me. I still need sometime to be myself.
Thanks for sharing with me.
Thought of the guilty side for hating my Mil, but I simply can't help it.
Those elderly can't leave us alone or give us peace when we needs it the most.
My Fil just pass away from cancer, which my hubby been putting all attention on his mother. I can understand.
Shorty after the good news came to us.
Wish thing can turn back n I could stop him from sharing with my Mil. Then came the nightmare. Could bcos she scare of sharing the attention from her son with me.
Every weekend we will go back MIL place.
Firstly, my SIL keep asking me. Do I feel any vomiting or sensitive of any food? I told her, not at all. Immdently my Mil scolded n shout at me, saying I shd not say those words. It can be very pantang. Keep telling me not to reveal the good news to anyone until I reach 3 mth. My hubby turn to me with an angry looks. BUT who the one asking me those question, It her own daughter! If I dun reply n keep quiet, u all will say I'm proud. If I reply all will say, I'm not careful at my words.
The good news arrive very near to CNY.
Which leave me no time to rest at all. Everyday we need to fetch my MIL all over Singapore to her relative place. She n my hubby didn't even concern abt me in the first trimester. Just expect us to fetch her everywhere she wan go.
On the relative house.
She keep revealing the news to all her relative but same time asking me not to reveal bcos of Pantang.
That make my hubby panic but he didn't confront his mother at all but attacking me instead. Reason, bcos I'm too tired which need to rest, that make us late for an hr to fetch Mil to relative house. When we rush there, Mil show me nasty face.
The whole CNY, I'm been stress out n tired.
Never had a day to rest when I need it n on the same time I need to handle my MIL drama to gain attention from her son.
On the 10 weeks, after CNY ended. I lost my Baby.
My Dr felt it too dangerous to wait anytime longer, same day I need to go thru D&C.
Story not end yet.
My Mil act drama infront of her daughter. Telling them she one that cause me MC, etc. One day I happen to saw my SIl, she didn't even care to ask abt me. Immdently scold me for letting MIL so sad. Telling me that I shd console Mil.
I break down. Who the one lossing my baby! It is ME not HER! With her stress n drama, do u think I can enjoy my pregnancy. Who the one need be console?! It ME!! What make them think MIL really guity for it, Until now there no phone call or SMS from my MIL to concern abt me! She just wan attention!
Sorry to rant so much too. I need to let go...
Things calm down now but still i dun have the courage to face MIL yet, scare I might break down again. On the Mother's day, I already encourage my hubby to celebrate with MIL. Of cos without me. I still need sometime to be myself.
vanilla04
Active Member
Cloud & susanna: 只有吃过苦瓜的人，才知道苦瓜的苦。and I seriously don't know y under these kinda circumstances pple still wanna say things tat will hurt us. Can't see tat we r jus so hurt already? Bleeding so badly yet they still wanna put salt onto our wounds.
I know a Fren who suffer a loss too at 18 weeks. She said one of her SIL wrote an email to sent her condolences yet inside e email she PROUDLY and HAPPIYL announce to the poor mom who jus had a loss that she is now pregnant. I was like wtf!! What's the purpose of doing this? By rubbing salt on our wounds will make u pple feel happier meh?? Haiz.. Den my evil tots will appear.. Hee hee.. Hope tat she will have e same thing as us..!! I'm a bad person? So let it be.. Haa.. =P
Celestine: I'm so sorry to hear abt u have such a drama mil.
Haiz.. I have similar situation before. Afterall, she is still his mom. No choice de.
According to my DH, he said, I always say he side his mom but to his mom, she always said my FIL n DH side me. I really don't know if it's a good thing tt my FIL alway side me. It will made my mil think tat I'm snatching away her property, u gals understand what I'm trying to say?
It's like in e future when we became mil n DH side DIL, more or less we also feel buay song and tend to dislike the DIL. That's how I feel why my mil dislike me so much. But it's not like I told FIL something behind her back discreetly. Whenever I said something abt mil, my FIL will always tell me, she is like tat de la. Everybody jus keep telling me tat. Even DH Gugu, ah Yi, shushu(s). Everybody. To a certain extend I jus thk ya maybe she is really like tat. For a period of years, I jus kept quiet when I saw things I felt not fair etc.
I told DH tat once I got pregnant ill move back to my mom place le. Cuz I definitely can't stay here during my pregnancy. But who knows shortly after when I knew I'm pregnant, mil is being diagnose with breast cancer. So its not really right to move away at this time ma. So we waiting lo. Maybe aft her chemo session. Who knows!! Tragic happens. Then even more worst things happen between us.
Mil keeps claiming tat she knows e pain I'm going they cuz she gave birth 3 times. Hello!! I told her yes, u gave birth to 3 healthy, alive and kicking babies. Did u ever gave birth to a baby is lie motionless in ur arm before? Forever sleeping? Den she goes again, of cuz I noe.. Haiz... From this issue onwards, I wun bother to explain things again. Think whatever u wanna think. If u thk I'm this kinda person den I am lo..
Anyway, Celestine, maybe what u can do is when u go back jus try to be very nice towards her? OR u can buy things for her, like some chicken essence? BUT give it to ur hubby tell him tat u bought it specially for her. I understand tat kind of awkward when u need to console mil. Cuz I myself can't do it. So I always do it thru my DH. Mil go thru chemo, I know her hair will drop, so I bought a hat. When we go overseas, I saw wig and I ask DH to ask for his mom.
By doing these, maybe one day ur mil will say to ur DH, ur wife ar.. Wat wat wat.. Nv even send her console whatever shit.. Ur DH can tell her tat she is actually very concerned abt u jus tat she nv speaks.
If u buy gifts for her n she still hiam.. Den u jus CRY!!!!! CRY infront of her n DH!!!!!! CRY infront of everyone!!! Say I dunno y mother u dislike me so much, I specially bought this gift for h in hoping u will be happy, jus wanna cheer u up..
Drama?? YES!!! Life is jus like a drama!!
I said as if I'm expert.. Haa.. I thk before only.. But tat character is really jus not me. Haa.. I'll cry infront of DH alone, but that's when I really felt 委屈 to e max, and tolerate or very long Liao. I need to let go den I'll cry..
It's jus an advice or should I say trick?. U can consider or listen jiu hao.. Hee..
Rant when u feel like to. This is why we have these support thread right? Because u gals will always be here to lend ur reading eyes(listening ears) and typing fingers(consoles and supports). Correct?
Anyway, let's hope we will hold our 'Rainbow Baby' in our arms soon!!
I know a Fren who suffer a loss too at 18 weeks. She said one of her SIL wrote an email to sent her condolences yet inside e email she PROUDLY and HAPPIYL announce to the poor mom who jus had a loss that she is now pregnant. I was like wtf!! What's the purpose of doing this? By rubbing salt on our wounds will make u pple feel happier meh?? Haiz.. Den my evil tots will appear.. Hee hee.. Hope tat she will have e same thing as us..!! I'm a bad person? So let it be.. Haa.. =P
Celestine: I'm so sorry to hear abt u have such a drama mil.
Haiz.. I have similar situation before. Afterall, she is still his mom. No choice de.
According to my DH, he said, I always say he side his mom but to his mom, she always said my FIL n DH side me. I really don't know if it's a good thing tt my FIL alway side me. It will made my mil think tat I'm snatching away her property, u gals understand what I'm trying to say?
It's like in e future when we became mil n DH side DIL, more or less we also feel buay song and tend to dislike the DIL. That's how I feel why my mil dislike me so much. But it's not like I told FIL something behind her back discreetly. Whenever I said something abt mil, my FIL will always tell me, she is like tat de la. Everybody jus keep telling me tat. Even DH Gugu, ah Yi, shushu(s). Everybody. To a certain extend I jus thk ya maybe she is really like tat. For a period of years, I jus kept quiet when I saw things I felt not fair etc.
I told DH tat once I got pregnant ill move back to my mom place le. Cuz I definitely can't stay here during my pregnancy. But who knows shortly after when I knew I'm pregnant, mil is being diagnose with breast cancer. So its not really right to move away at this time ma. So we waiting lo. Maybe aft her chemo session. Who knows!! Tragic happens. Then even more worst things happen between us.
Mil keeps claiming tat she knows e pain I'm going they cuz she gave birth 3 times. Hello!! I told her yes, u gave birth to 3 healthy, alive and kicking babies. Did u ever gave birth to a baby is lie motionless in ur arm before? Forever sleeping? Den she goes again, of cuz I noe.. Haiz... From this issue onwards, I wun bother to explain things again. Think whatever u wanna think. If u thk I'm this kinda person den I am lo..
Anyway, Celestine, maybe what u can do is when u go back jus try to be very nice towards her? OR u can buy things for her, like some chicken essence? BUT give it to ur hubby tell him tat u bought it specially for her. I understand tat kind of awkward when u need to console mil. Cuz I myself can't do it. So I always do it thru my DH. Mil go thru chemo, I know her hair will drop, so I bought a hat. When we go overseas, I saw wig and I ask DH to ask for his mom.
By doing these, maybe one day ur mil will say to ur DH, ur wife ar.. Wat wat wat.. Nv even send her console whatever shit.. Ur DH can tell her tat she is actually very concerned abt u jus tat she nv speaks.
If u buy gifts for her n she still hiam.. Den u jus CRY!!!!! CRY infront of her n DH!!!!!! CRY infront of everyone!!! Say I dunno y mother u dislike me so much, I specially bought this gift for h in hoping u will be happy, jus wanna cheer u up..
Drama?? YES!!! Life is jus like a drama!!
I said as if I'm expert.. Haa.. I thk before only.. But tat character is really jus not me. Haa.. I'll cry infront of DH alone, but that's when I really felt 委屈 to e max, and tolerate or very long Liao. I need to let go den I'll cry..
It's jus an advice or should I say trick?. U can consider or listen jiu hao.. Hee..
Rant when u feel like to. This is why we have these support thread right? Because u gals will always be here to lend ur reading eyes(listening ears) and typing fingers(consoles and supports). Correct?
Anyway, let's hope we will hold our 'Rainbow Baby' in our arms soon!!
haze02
Well-Known Member
Castiel's mummy,
You are so cute!
Felt so useless... U lost ur baby on the 25 week, believe ur pain is ten times more then mine. Yet u consoling me.
Yes, I never give up on trying for our rainbow baby.
Just that I leave it to god n decided when is the date.
Althought I'm not young anymore but still we need be positive n move on from here. Nothing can be help even we forever in sorrows. The more we drag the more our baby can't be in peace. Althought it impossible to forget but we can't Alway hold on. I just keep remind myself, that lord love him/her very much, so lord take away to end the suffer earlier on earth.
Anyway, I'm kind enough to console my hubby n asking him to celebrate Mother's day with Mil. I told my hubby, I can't find any courage to face Mil, only until I'm pregnant again. Whatever Mil wan to say abt me, I wouldn't care, cos I'm not facing her anymore. Haha!
My Sil was so evil, she actually SMS my hubby joking.
Looking at us being hard to conceive, she can born one n give to us. She proudly saying
You are so cute!
Felt so useless... U lost ur baby on the 25 week, believe ur pain is ten times more then mine. Yet u consoling me.
Yes, I never give up on trying for our rainbow baby.
Just that I leave it to god n decided when is the date.
Althought I'm not young anymore but still we need be positive n move on from here. Nothing can be help even we forever in sorrows. The more we drag the more our baby can't be in peace. Althought it impossible to forget but we can't Alway hold on. I just keep remind myself, that lord love him/her very much, so lord take away to end the suffer earlier on earth.
Anyway, I'm kind enough to console my hubby n asking him to celebrate Mother's day with Mil. I told my hubby, I can't find any courage to face Mil, only until I'm pregnant again. Whatever Mil wan to say abt me, I wouldn't care, cos I'm not facing her anymore. Haha!
My Sil was so evil, she actually SMS my hubby joking.
Looking at us being hard to conceive, she can born one n give to us. She proudly saying
vanilla04
Active Member
Celestine: OMG!! U call tat joking? Ya maybe she is la.. But I dunno what I will do if SIL were to say tat to me! I'll probably slap her till her mouth yy lo..
How could she joke abt such things!!
That's so hurtful!!
Anyway, I dunno how old r u. To me I'm not young too. Initially I wanted to have a bb at age 27, which could be very true cuz before my bday, edd is 18 may.
I know the fastest way to recover is to have another bb SOON!! Haa.. So I've to try all means to get preggy again!! The pregnant feeling is really amazing..
Let's all graduate n join the Jan 2013 thread!!
How could she joke abt such things!!
That's so hurtful!!
Anyway, I dunno how old r u. To me I'm not young too. Initially I wanted to have a bb at age 27, which could be very true cuz before my bday, edd is 18 may.
I know the fastest way to recover is to have another bb SOON!! Haa.. So I've to try all means to get preggy again!! The pregnant feeling is really amazing..
Let's all graduate n join the Jan 2013 thread!!
susanna_low
New Member
I agreed, the SIL is really low in EQ. The best is to keep a distance and don't reveal a slightest detail of personal life to them n let them use it against us.
Just treat as someone hi-bye or else hb will be in difficult position too.
Just treat as someone hi-bye or else hb will be in difficult position too.
feliciatan22
Member
Hi, just wondering any one know about cervix incompetence? I lost my baby on 23rd week, broke water bag, suspect due to that. Any one have any experience can share? My gynae said based on 1 time hard to tell if really due to that, however we don't want to risk the 2nd time. I am going for another IVF soon. The question is to do the stitch or not, because I know migh have risk on infection too..?
haze02
Well-Known Member
Castiel mummy n Susanna,
The moment my hubby reveal wat that bitch say,
Immdently I burst into tears and start scolding my hubby.
He shd be protecting against any harm from their family member n yet he see all thing happening.
Lucky I'm not staying with my in laws, or I might break down.
Anyway it already the past. I'm trying my best to forgive them but I can never forget how they treated me. Now I learn that I can never share with them any news if I get pregnant.
This year I'm already 34 year old, been TTC when I'm 31.
Being so late bcos we marry late, quite regret for not marry earlier. Anyway let see each other on the Snake year Baby!!
The moment my hubby reveal wat that bitch say,
Immdently I burst into tears and start scolding my hubby.
He shd be protecting against any harm from their family member n yet he see all thing happening.
Lucky I'm not staying with my in laws, or I might break down.
Anyway it already the past. I'm trying my best to forgive them but I can never forget how they treated me. Now I learn that I can never share with them any news if I get pregnant.
This year I'm already 34 year old, been TTC when I'm 31.
Being so late bcos we marry late, quite regret for not marry earlier. Anyway let see each other on the Snake year Baby!!
haze02
Well-Known Member
Tan fang ling,
Sorry to hear abt ur lost.
U might wan to talk ur Dr abt ur concern.
Previously I keep question my Dr what could be the cause.
He also told me that bases on first time it hard to tell.
Go into details, there alot of test needed be do n might not get the answer. He share with me, his wife MC two times too but never give up trying. My Dr already had 3 child.
Never let the worries stop u from trying. Jiayou!
Sorry to hear abt ur lost.
U might wan to talk ur Dr abt ur concern.
Previously I keep question my Dr what could be the cause.
He also told me that bases on first time it hard to tell.
Go into details, there alot of test needed be do n might not get the answer. He share with me, his wife MC two times too but never give up trying. My Dr already had 3 child.
Never let the worries stop u from trying. Jiayou!
princessleopard
Well-Known Member
castiel mummy,
after reading abt ur mil, I realised that my issue with my mil is nothing compared to yours. So, are u 2 still talking?
celestine,
I also have a sil whose EQ also very low. She purposely say in front of me that she is going to have a dragon baby. She proudly inform all the relatives present that day (which is last yr CNY). Reasons why she can say so is that she can conceive easily. She can give birth so long she wants it. I had been ttc for abt 4 yrs, my 2 sil had give birth twice each now. So, that explains why they so yaya.
after reading abt ur mil, I realised that my issue with my mil is nothing compared to yours. So, are u 2 still talking?
celestine,
I also have a sil whose EQ also very low. She purposely say in front of me that she is going to have a dragon baby. She proudly inform all the relatives present that day (which is last yr CNY). Reasons why she can say so is that she can conceive easily. She can give birth so long she wants it. I had been ttc for abt 4 yrs, my 2 sil had give birth twice each now. So, that explains why they so yaya.
feliciatan22
Member
Thanks Celestine for the reply. We had asked a lot of questions to our doctor but can't find the exact root cause. That's why I am asking here to see anyone have any past experiences, as it is a minority case. I don't want to let ignorance be the reason for regret later.
Likewise, I am trying, not to worry on that.
Likewise, I am trying, not to worry on that.
Lambi
Well-Known Member
yeah ladies rant as you want to as this is public forum and i think it's a support group here with ladies with similar experiences can share and willing to lend a listening ear.
celestine castiel mummy can feel your stress with your MILs..sometimes, ppl are like that when you treat them nice they won't appreciate. Minimise contact so less friction..
horsie i read about some ladies goes to gyne who sew their cervix up when they are preggy with some high risk--eg cervix incompetence. But then ask your gyne about the reason on your 1st mc, did you do test etc? Did doc give you any reasons? If not it's difficult to pin point that it is 100% cos of cervix incompetence. It could well have been an infection as well..and i think next round if you get preggy, i don't think can opt to have cervix sewed just by asking your doc to, cos he/she will also need to have a reason to do that. (but i might be wrong on this though..do check with your gyne)
ladies that's why i seldom go FB liao..cos either reading abt bbs or ppl 'sharing' or haolian abt something like their baby bump etc..
but anyway dragon or other zodiac animals not impt lah..esp to us who has experienced a loss or more, having a healthy and bouncy baby is a gift. Well think about it, when next time grow up, child has to complete with others for place in schools etc..more stress le..
celestine castiel mummy can feel your stress with your MILs..sometimes, ppl are like that when you treat them nice they won't appreciate. Minimise contact so less friction..
horsie i read about some ladies goes to gyne who sew their cervix up when they are preggy with some high risk--eg cervix incompetence. But then ask your gyne about the reason on your 1st mc, did you do test etc? Did doc give you any reasons? If not it's difficult to pin point that it is 100% cos of cervix incompetence. It could well have been an infection as well..and i think next round if you get preggy, i don't think can opt to have cervix sewed just by asking your doc to, cos he/she will also need to have a reason to do that. (but i might be wrong on this though..do check with your gyne)
ladies that's why i seldom go FB liao..cos either reading abt bbs or ppl 'sharing' or haolian abt something like their baby bump etc..
but anyway dragon or other zodiac animals not impt lah..esp to us who has experienced a loss or more, having a healthy and bouncy baby is a gift. Well think about it, when next time grow up, child has to complete with others for place in schools etc..more stress le..