Support group - Miscarriages

[seraphinee]

Christine, u're an angel for being so encouraging. I guess it's the fear after the 1st miscarriage. I wanna be hopeful but also scared of disappointment. We tried for 9 mths before we conceived, then lost the bb at 9wks but it only measured 7wks. Very very sad but shall keep my head up n keep myself bz. Hope to share gd news soon

 

[tethysea]

seraphinee >> I've heard that docs usually ask us to wait 3 months, but that's only because they feel that's a reasonable time for emotional and mental healing. Physically not much of an issue unless the preg was very far along (like 2rd or 3rd tri). Don't worry and don't let the fear get the better of you. Hope to hear good news from you!

 

[seraphinee]

tethysea >> Thanks thanks U must take gd gd care of urself too

 

[la_mer]

coyote, i din go the fertility clinic.] at thong chai. cuz u need extensive medical reports n scans so they can accurately treat problem. i am jus seeing the experienced GP to bu back my health from mc.

 

[coyote]

la mer - I see. An experienced GP is good enough to help to bring your health back. Let's jia you!

 

[lynzi1606]

<font color="aa00aa">Harlow ladies!!
I used to frequent this thread some time ago.
I do see some familiar faces here. *wave wave*
Been MIA as i bfp for the third time.
Currently in my 25 weeks of pregnancy and entering 3rd tri soon.
Wish to encourage everyone here that its really possible to have an icky sticky bfp..just dont ever give up on yourself!
Babydust to all here..gambate!</font>

 

[christin3k]

Seraphinee: yup! Lets all keep our hopes high! May ur preggy be a sticky aticky one!

Lynzi: omg! This is a super good news! Congrats! Do show us your bb's photo soon!

will pray hard for u! May ur bb be super healthy n cute! God bless! C

 

[oceans]

I used to be frequent this thread few years ago and once in a blue moon stop by here to say hallo.

Just wanna to say jia you to all here.

For us, pregnancy was never a smooth one, but with lots of heartache and tears.

Stay positive.

Things looked so gloomy when I first lost my bb. But now, I am blessed with 2 gals.

Today, i chanced upon this asking for first pregnancy experience... It brought back memories to me... i stopped and pondered... remembering the pain i went thru during my first pregnancy..

So, jus wanna share my story with all here and if u like it, please "like" me.
http://apps.facebook.com/johnsonsbabyfirsts/index.php/experiences/index/view_experience:_21

 

[constancet]

I just had my D&amp;C on Thursday cos of blighted ovum pregnancy.
Unplanned no 5 as I already had 4 precious darlings at home.
Actually I thot i wont be too much affected, but not true..
We actually had a shock but had already gotten over it and was actually looking forward to no 5. And this had to happen.
Even now, i still can feel the pain and I hate it that my pregnancy symptoms still linger while the source is not there anyway.....
This is my 2nd miscarriage.

 

[lynzi1606]

<font color="aa00aa">Christine,
Thank u dear.
Hope u will get your wish come true soon.

Constance,
Is that u?
Hugsss
Be it number what child think we will still get affected.
Do bu your body back.
Yup the symptoms will only totally disappear in a week.
Take care of yourself ok and enjoy the company of your 4 lovely kids.</font>

 

[seraphinee]

Christine, sorry to hear that. I believe any loss is still as painful, whtr its your first or your 5th. Take time to grief, but take comfort in the love of your family.

On another note, I just wanted to share that I've completed my course of Duphaston on Friday and started what I believe is my 1st AF today. It was a pretty heavy flow at 1st, but seems to have slowed down, will monitor and see how it goes. Mixed feelings right now. Happy that at least I can move on and plan for the next little one, but oso reminded of my loss.

 

[constancet]

Lynzi.
Yup, it's me...

I realised I am not really to stop giving birth yet after this incident.
Very happy for you cos u will soon have no 2 to play with your lil boy.

 

[oceans]

Constance (constancet)
O dear.. sorry to find u here...

Please please do a mini confinement and must "bu". Give urself sometime to recover. Rest well k.

 

[constancet]

Oceans
ok thanks!
I am still waiting for the hateful pregnancy symptoms to disappear....

 

[babypom]

My 2nd AF is suppose to due tomorrow. I did a pregnancy test this morning (not 1st urine) and 2nd faint line appear after 1 min. Dunno if my eyes is playing trick on me. Shall test again 3 days later.

 

[luthadel]

Hi All,
Just found out that my bb's hb stopped yesterday and now I'm waiting for natural mc to happen.

I can check with you girls if you take cytotec to speed up the process or simply wait for mc to happen and take the pill thereafter to clear the remainder blood?

 

[constancet]

LuthAdel
you are from the same Mar thread as me.

I took a d&amp;c 2 days after discovery of my blighted ovum pregnancy.

 

[christin3k]

Babypom: oh? U are preggy? I got a faint line forthe previous preggy 4 days after i miss my af.... Maybe wait n see? Dont think so much abt when ur af coming... When u think abt it it usually doesnt come...

Luthadel: hmmm.. How old is ur bb when hb stops? If its more than 8 weeks its better to take the pills to speed up, cos sometimes it just dont come out n u will end up doing dnc...

If ur bb is still small its better to let it release itself naturally. My bb was about 4.5 weeks when i was supposed to be ard 6 weeks old.. N i mc naturally n it came...

Anyways i was bleeding quite alot when i found out i mc...

 

[luthadel]

Constance
Yes, I'm from the mar thread. I just met my gynae today and discuss with her the various options. I've decided to go for D&amp;C on mon.

We'll try again after 2 cycles

 

[babypom]

Christine: I suspect I might be pregnant. Will do another test 3 days later and see. How r u doing?

 

[babypom]

LuthAdel: sorry for yr loss. Do take care and rest well

 

[christin3k]

Babypom: hmmm... U have to take care.. Im very fine.. Had made up my mind of stepping out to work first... To throw the emotions off for a while. Will let everything come its way on its own...

i think i will feel better that way...

Hope to hear good news from u soon!

 

[baby_me]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new in this thread. I just had mc, and taken medication to clean yesterday. Today not much bleeding, only spotting. Can sisters here share with me, how long do I need to wait to bd? Is it must be protected bd? Is it not fertile for next 2 AF cycles? When can I expect my next AF? Is it next month around this date?

Thanks so much for sharing with me

 

[christin3k]

baby: so sorry to hear about your loss. be strong ok? regarding your questions. u can bd 2 weeks after ur mc..but make sure u keep it protected n clean.

for natural discharge, usually will take a longer time to let the cervix close up. up to 10days.

i had dnc for my first mc and a natural mc for the recent mc...

i took a break from bd for a month. until my first af came.

usually u will be fertile within the first 3 months after mc. do not stress about ur af coming. keep it natural.. do not think about it...

mine came on time like how my monthly af is... and yes it came on the same date when i started bleeding...

but its all different case for everyone. keep urself relax dont stress over wanting to bd asap.

if u know u are still bleeding and still having the cramps not prepared for bd... then stay away from it first...

make sure u had a completed mc before carrying out bd... do go back for a check up 10days later or once u stop bleeding or spotting

let ur gynae check see if ur cervix had been closed up n all lining had been discharged clean so as to avoid any infections.

 

[baby_me]

Christine, thanks so much for the comforting advise. It's just that not bd for 2 mths liao, pity DH hehe.
So sorry to hear about your recent mc, twice, ah pls be strong. *big hugs*
Yeah I better wait till it's totally stop, maybe 2 wks just like what you said. Any advice for mini confinement?

 

[christin3k]

baby: thanks. im doing fine now. try to keep urself warm. can make the red dates plus dry longan plus dangshen plus ginger tea. drink it in replacement of water.

try to avoid water for time being... if really need to drink, drink warm water.

can cook veggie with ginger n rice wine.

can make chicken rice wine soup. add ginger, chicken, rice wine, soya sauce and all to taste.

do not eat left over food or cold food.

avoid taking danggui. not good for the uterus for now. take alot of fish. and eat lots of spinach n kailan.

spinach can help bring healthy blood. kailan is for wound.

dont eat fried food. rest as much as u can.

i did not really do my confinement for this mc cos my bb was too small to judge anything.. i just bleed like normal af...

but i do get big clots like blood coming out a few times. bb was only ard 4weeks old when i mc..

so maybe implant fail ba... currently seeing a tcm to bu my body...

if u want u can go tcm to help u with ur confinement n see what is wrong with u, start to treat it before the next preggy.

i did not see any doc for help after my first mc when bb was almost 12 weeks old. and only keep healthy diet... until i mc again. so now see tcm instead of any gynae.

plus there was a misjudgement by my gynae which may had affected my preggy... so.. i stop thinking abt bb making first

 

[joanne03]

Hi baby
I hv been following ur sad story in the ivf thread.. Not sure whether u find my name familar..

As hv been busy with work so seldom post nowadays.. R u under doc Loh too? I just hv a mc at 8th wks in May after detect bb hb at six week.. It was a truamtic experience for me as is my 3rd mc.. I oso bfp under doc Loh ivf..
For me, i did a complete confinement to tiao my body back.. I drink red dates drink to replace my water intake for whole three wks.. I order confinement tingkat for one wk.. Drink dom at night.. Didnt bath for one wk n after one wk, i bath using 大风草herbs. I start bath using normal water after 2wks. Since urs is natural mc, i think u no need to do so much but eat food with ginger like wht christin say n drink red dates tea.. Jiayou k...take care..

Hi bbpom, lynzi..congrat to u for ur bfp..

 

[qing22]

Hi,

Like to check if anyone after the d&amp;c detected some kind of growth in uterus. After my SIS scan, the ultrasound report shows some growth. Suspected mayb polys, but after the day surgery today, was told otherwise. Didnt manage to get the terms after the day surgery doctor so abit anxious. Will be only seeing my doc 4 wks later

 

[winky]

Hi Joanne and baby, I'm from ivf thread too under SF Loh.

Hi all, I just did my D&amp;C yesterday, not sure how I should do a mini-confinement. Any advise?

Joanne, how to cook the red date water? Do we put dried longan?

Anyone did massage after miscarriage? Any good recommendation?

 

[baby_me]

Christine, yeah I'll be seeing tcm soon, maybe will let him decide what to do. Will let my MIL know of all the things u mentioned. I don't cook n she is the one who always cook for me. I guess she also has no idea on what to do hehe, but glad that she is helping me.

You might want to find other gynae next time when you are bfp again. Misjudgement from gynae is really bad as usually we trust them so much. Take care of yourself too.

 

[baby_me]

Joanne, sorry for your lost too. Yeah I'm also under Dr Loh. I don't think I can do without bathing

. I bath twice a day somemore with warm water n drink lots of warm water. Last night and today I felt cramp around below part of my stomach, is it normal? It's really very painfull till I need to take panadol. What should I do? There is no bleeding anymore. I really can't take it sometimes when the pain comes.

 

[christin3k]

peko: sorry for your loss.. i guess its not a good yr for most of us...

i did mention to baby about the confinement food u can take a look?

importantly is dont take over night left over food even for rice... and no food that will accumulate wind in the body...

especially fruits, cold water, seafood, kangkong. try focus on eating just spinach n kailan. eat fish.

fruit wise only apple... but cannot be cold ones.

for the red date water. u can add red n black dates, dry longans, ginger and dangshen. i think adding dangshen is alot better n nicer to drink cos ginger taste is too strong..

and dangshen helps to bring back blood n warm the body as well.

just add all into boiling water.. cook it for about 2hrs.. then remove all residues and drink the water...

in replacement of plain water for a week or two.

i did massage after my first mc.. i can intro sharon to u. she is good.. and her massage is $60 per session. full body detox n uterus massaging. 1hr.

her web: www.shalompostnatalmassage.com

u can email or call her for appointment.

baby: the one i seeing is at tanjong pagar plaza.. she pretty good... she is treating my long time sinus and now i am recovering so well.

and her medi are all well prepared.. in capsules or drink in bottle. like normal cough syrup. but its all pure chinese medi. and her consultations are pretty cheap.

i on two weeks dosage. 2 bottles plus 2 different capsules ard $100plus.

and she do acupuncture. she did it on my hands to remove the wind in my arms n lungs..

if u want u can make an appointment with her. her appointment is always pack but its always best to see her in the morning no ppl one..

yes i changing gynae le... but my tcm says i can still look for her during my preggy.. and only to see a gynae around week 6 to 8... n all her medi are safe during preggy..

so even by chance we under her treatment and got preggy no need to worry.. my hub also seeing her...he also recovering alot from tiredness n some other stuff..

u can get the qu feng chao from any traditional tcm shop. u use that to bath is better... if ur cramp carries on n u still dont bleed u may need to see ur gynae asap.. cos it may show that the rest of the lining are unable to discharge on its own.. and u may have an infection..

 

[babypom]

Baby &amp; peko: So sorry to hear abt yr loss. Do take care and recover well before ttc-ing again.

I had my D&amp;C in mid may and my AF came only almost 10 weeks after. Gynae said the lining is thin. Maybe my recovery is slower due to age. He recommend me to ttc after 2nd AF. However I just had my BFP few days ago b4 2nd AF due.. Keeping my finger cross that this time around will hv a sticky bb.

Joanne: Thanks. Are you trying again?

Jiayou everyone

 

[baby_me]

Peko, sorry to hear your lost too. Pls be strong Gal!
Christine and Joanne have given some tips for me, I think will be useful for you too. Take care Gal.

Christine, how long did you wait from the mc till can do massage. I'm afraid it will hurt the uterus, will it?
The TCM you mentioned sounds good, any name or contact number? Or there is only one there? So it's easier to find. Considering few places now.

I just went to KK, because the pain is really unbearable. They did scan for me, and said the uterus is quite clean liao, left abit of blood only, which is coming out slowly when I pass urine. The Dr said, the cramp is caused by the womb is contracting, because it has released lots of blood so it will slowly to contract back, that's why cramp. She gave me injection to reduce the pain, it's much better now. So I'll just wait for the next scan.

Babypom, thanks. Congrats on your bfp. Hope you will have smooth pregnancy this time, will have sticky bb.

 

[christin3k]

baby: eventually if u did not go thru dnc... u can start after u stop spotting... it does not hurt the uterus cos its very nice spa kind of massage.. u cvan let sharon know ur current situation.. she will then arrange n see if u are suitable for the massage now..

actually for tcm... there are some... i go cos my friend intro me.. as she had a successful preggy once she see this tcm... so i think u can try too...

her clinic is at tangjong pagar plaza #02-47. tel: 62218892

u have to call to make booking first.. and be slightly earlier than appointed would be good..

hmm... so i guess u should be fine.. dont worry much about it... just avoid bd for time being.. and rest well!

 

[joanne03]

Hi baby
Since urs is natural mc, need not restrict too much on the bathing part... Just drink more red dates drink which christine had advise.. Rest well too since u shd be very wk now.. I try The massage by sharon too.. Is real good as she helps to tie our tummy to help our tummy dun look so bloated.. But i only get to try once due to time constraint after i go back to work..

Hi peko
I know ur name too... What happen to ur bb? Mc at week? Since u do dnc, u really hv to recupperate well since we want to try again.. Tiao our body strong is important.. U still hv how many snowbbies waiting for u? Rest well gal n hugz to u n baby...

Hi babypom
my 2nd af just over so will ttc natural these two mths as going for a trip on nov so cant do fet yet till after the trip.. Me oso do dnc on end of May...

Hi qing22
Dun worry too much.... Can u bring forward the doc appointment so that no need to wait so long n can hv a peace of mind soon.. U will be fine k..

 

[winky]

Thanks Christine.

Congrats babypom!

Joanne, mc at 7.5wks. No fetal pole. Only sac n yolk. No more snowbbies...not sure if I want to do another fresh.

 

[christin3k]

Peko: dont give up! I am sure u can try it one more time... Its just a bad luck this time round there are some chromosomes error... Recover well.... Stay healthy... Eat healthy food n beneficial food together with ur hubby... Things will work out..

Or if not really go tcm.. The doc i seeing is specialist in infertility n mc... Almost all who sees her gets a healthy bb with the help of her medi, acupuncture and advice.

Stay positive! My 2nd mc ended in 4.5 weeks.. My bb did not grow at all after implanting... And i struggle thru that preggy for almost a month n things still dont work out and i ended up bleeding, discharging my own sac out without much notice.. But its a heartbreak to see the big clot when i know its my crushed bb within it...

My first mc happened when bb was at 9th week.. I was just nice in my 12week preggy.. But also.. Sudden bleed... N my bb is gone... Went for dnc in dec.. Try again in april n got 2nd one is june.. N bb gone in july... All within 6 months... Super heartbreaking...

So... U dont give up ok? U can do it! When u are ready... Give it another try....

 

[baby_me]

Peko, can I pm u?

 

[tethysea]

baby &amp; peko >> Sorry for your loss, please take care and rest lots. Wait until body recover liao can try again, it's usually due to some freak chromosome mismatch. M/c is just nature's way of "quality control", if the baby was not healthy there's no point trying to force it also... I read before that just because m/c before doesn't mean next time will m/c too, in fact we have the same chances as every other mtb to have a healthy baby. So have hope and stay strong!

Sorry ah... wat is "snowbbies"? Sounds so cute, haha.

 

[winky]

Christine, thanks for the encouraging words.

Baby, you are most welcome to pm me.

Tethysea, snowbbies are term we use in ivf thread which refer to fertilized embryos.

 

[tethysea]

ohhh i see!

 

[lynzi1606]

<font color="aa00aa">Baby, Peko, Joanne,
So sorry to hear about your loss.
Mc is never easy especially if we have gone thru so much just to get a bfp in the first place..hugs to all of u.
for those d&amp;c, do a longer n more strict confinement.
Natural mc and if your mc happened at 6 weeks and below, can do a mini one.
For massage can do immed actually as it will help to purge out the lining and blood and also help your uterus to contract back to its original shape faster.

Christine,
I didnt know u mc again my dear.
That was just like me..2 mcs within 6 mths.
But dont give up ok..bu your body and your hubby's body back n try again.
U might wana consider changing gynae.
My current gynae has handled my 2 mcs very well and now im still with him as he has given me tremendous support since last year.
I think when i bfp and managed to get thru one hurdle after another as i was spotting quite badly too in first tri coupled with very and ms, he was the happiest person besides me and my hubby.</font>

 

[ete]

Hi, how long does it take to recover from natural mc? Thinking of getting back to exercise but afraid the uterus has yet contract to original shape and size.

 

[constancet]

i can't seem to go back to the usual routine at work after the miscarriage.
I don't feel like joining my colleagues for lunch at all.
So haven't been going out for the past week.
Maybe also cos there is another preggie around also, so "subconciously" trying to avoid the p. topic.
I think i must be mad, cos I actually have 4 kids at home.
But the topic is touchy to me....

 

[ete]

Constance, how about doing some meditation or yoga to get back your focus? Penning down your emotions and experience may help opening yourself up. I'm trying too.

 

[seraphinee]

Constance>> It's cliche but time will heal all wounds. Its been 76 days (or almost 11 weeks since my miscarriage), I just realised that I've finally stopped counting the days since it happened, I had to check back on the calendar to calculate how long it's been.

Seeing other babies still make my heart ache, I think about how I should be halfway through my pregnancy by now but instead, am now left with nothing. I'm still sad but I know that life goes on, if I live in the past, the future will never happen.

I'm still in a dilemma myself. My best fren got pregnant around the same time as me, till now, I still can't bear to meet up with her as I'm scared that I'ld be reminded of my loss when I look at her. I feel selfish to think like this, but I'm still struggling with this.

But give yourself time to get through the sadness, that's what I'm slowly doing. And take comfort in the knowledge that we're all here, taking the same journey with u.

 

[ete]

recuperating at home, and started writing. Just to share my experience for those who are interested
http://preggerswannabe.wordpress.com/category/miscarriage/

 

[lynzi1606]

<font color="aa00aa">Mrs Chris,
how long has it been?
Usually with natural mc once after the first af should be ok.

Constance,
its perfectly normal to feel that way.
I was like u too.
I even avoided going for full mths, bday parties etc.
What made it worse was my sil was also preggy at the same time.
I cannot even bring myself to go visit her n my nephew initially.
When i got the news that she has given birth, i was literally drowning myself in tears cos our edd is supposed to be the same.
Take your time to heal..dont feel bad about avoiding ppl.
Its better this way as your feelings and emotional state is still raw.</font>

 

[ete]

lynzi, just 1 week. When will AF come? a month after mc?