Support group - Miscarriages

Hi prosper, I have the same problem as you. But don't worry, it should subside soon. The uterus is shrinking back. I did my D&C 4 weeks ago and my first cycle is back 4 weeks exactly after the surgery. First day flow I realize slightly heavier than my usual first day before this surgery lor. Hopefully I'm okay too.
 


hi princessxiaomei, so hope is just uterus shrinking back to normal size.
my last visit, gynae say my womb is upside down. Dunno what does it mean. But seem should be ok.
I am taking Evening primose oil everyday. Just hope it will regulate my menses after D&C
 
maybe do another scan few days after your last spotting to ensure everything is clean

btw, don't take cold drinks/food
 
prosper >> Upside-down?! What does that mean? :S I had cramps for a while too... maybe also partly the uterus trying to expel out any leftover tissue.

Bunnymuffin >> Any pain with the discharge? Maybe better go see gynae leh.
 
i think the gynae meant inverted uterus.. abt 1 in 3 women are like this, i think.. n dun worry, i conceived and have one baby with my inverted uterus..
 
BunnyMuffin >> You checked make sure is bfn already? Cos I know of someone who kept getting bfn on the test kits, but when scanned at gynae she was preg leh. If confirm not preg, can try the raspberry leaf tea.
 
Bunnymuffin: sometimes u keep stressing on why af dont come it will delay the arrival... My af also haywired... From 28days cycle before my first dnc in dec last yr... Now to 32 to 33 days cycle... Feeling so unhealthy even though it still comes on time every month...

But after i relax myself not thinking when will ihave af.. It just came with no worrries.. Only my hub who is the one getting nervous when i say my af hasnt come.. He tot i will hit jackpot again but somehow he forgot he use the last min withdrawal method for bd now a days...
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So chill... Its either u stress ur af dont comr if not u are prggy but ur test kit isnt sensitive enough to detect that is why bfn... If not ur hcg too low.. So if u really get worried its better to see ur gynae...

At least if u r preggy n ur hcg is too low ur gynae can help u before its too late...
 
Done 2 tests again, still BFN. I'm so scare of gg to Gynae n be told that I'm pregnant n my hcG is v low. Just like the previous miscarriage.
 
Bunnymuffin: but if detected early u can still safe ur bb? If drag on things may not turn out as what u wanted... Its always play safe...

Like my 2nd mc... I tested positive only few days after af did not arrive... Went to my gynae( though he is a bad one) n i took hormone pills...

In the end it wasnt saved cos the gynae did not see my report properly for hcg test.. It wasnt normal n he gave us a big shock when he said i was etopic n run to tmc to scan then run to temple n all..

My mood was totally screwed... N 10days later i found out that i was positive... My bb was gone....

All thanks to the doc's irresponsible attitude... But lucky.. Bb was only at week 4.5 so i can still flush it out myself n i dont have to go thru another dnc....

Its another pain for me but i had to face it... I am not going back to the same doc... N i will be careful with ttc next time round...

Wat i am trying to tell u... Sometimes u can try to save it u do ur part to save it.. Cos its ur flesh n blood after all....
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have the hope n faith with ur bb if really there is one that is here with u.... Work hard with ur little one in ur tummy...

Anything miracle can happen to u n ur little one... Dont be dishearted... Do it step by step worries n stress will only make things worse somemore u dont know if u r preggy or not...

That is an add on... If things really turn out badly... Ok... U can only wait n see wat is going to happen next? See what ur gynae can do for u.... Definitely there will be a way out to all problems...

Stay positive... That is the best medicine for u n ur body now..
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Hi everyone,

I just did D&C yesterday. Miscarriage at week 10. Will be on med leave for the next two weeks. Just wanted to get some advice on what I need to do.

I was feeling ok emotionally after a cry at the gynae's office when she told me my fetus heartbeat has stopped. But reality hits when I was wheeled into the operating theatre yesterday. What's worse is I have a friend who is also pregnant with me and coincidentally, we share the same EDD. I think I will need to live with this shadow for life... When I see her progress in her pregnancy and when her baby is being delivered, I will always remember I am supposed to have a child too... Heaven is too cruel to me!
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Hi all brave ladies,

I had a d&c done last week. We were 2 days away from doing our oscar scan and hubby n my bdays. We had planned how to celebrate this yrs bdays alrdy, ie shop for bb stuff, maternity clothes n celebrate end of 1st trimester. I tot I finally made it to 'safety zone', moving on soon to 14 weeks.

When gynae detected no heartbeat from bb and said he's measuring too small for 13 weeks. My whole world crashed. Bb had left at 9 weeks.

Hubby n I hugged n cried that night, it was so painful. The next day at opn theatre, I imagined myself running away from the hospital and telling myself this is all just a terrible dream. But it wasn't.

It has since been a week. Everyday I cry, the tears just flow at the slightest thing that you rem abt bb. I rem we saw bb heartbeat at week 7, then week 8...bb left at week 9 but we din even know.

Life will never be the same, I came and read this forum many times but never have the courage to share anything here.

Today I can, n I hope it's a small sign I am beginning to have courage to face it, and share that experience with all here who are gg thru the same pain n anguish as me n hubby. My tears still flow each day...but slowly I am letting go the pain

Hubby n I also prayed for bb to have a good life and b safe. Of cos we also prayed for a chance again.

The support from hubby n to hubby is v impt, he hurts too. I am also finding strength to b strong n take care of my body so that it can be in a good condition for next chance. If not for this belief I m hanging on to, I would hv been a disastrious state now.

We must strong n I thank the ladies here who shared ur stories before, it lets me know there r ladies out there gg thru tough times like me, n assures me I m not the freak n jinx in my darkest time, all these tots keep playing in my mind.

And I pray may we all get our chances again because I believe we will treasure our lil ones even more after what we have gone thru.
 
Koirc n harrods: its heartbreaking to go through this. I can feel it too...

MY hub's buddy wife also got preggy just a few weeks before mine... And seeing her in her 5months preggy... N so smooth sailing.. My heart aches... She can even travel overseas with he hub to celebrate the welcoming of the lil one.. Enjoying their times having to choose names for their bb...

I czn feel the pain but what to do.. I had to go thru two mc... And everyone is so wanting to see my lil one.. But all did not happen...

I can only wait... Try to be as healthy as i can... Be happy... Work towards a better future...

Hais.... I feel like trying again but i am somehow pretty much worried.... Thinking things will be the same again...

More over i am a newly wed.. I just got married in nov last yr.. N right after that i had to face a mc... Got to cancel my honeymoon in dec.... Then happy moved on n tried again.. Happily tot i am preggy in july again.. Hoping everything goes well again.. At only week 6.. I bleed.. N there goes my lil one... Its gone...

Its torture... For this one whole yr... My hub n i spend alot of money n energy on all these.. N really drain the two of us up.... But i am still not giving up hope!

Trying to stay strong... N try again soon... I am seeing hope now cos my af is finally going back to normal... From my 28days cycle... After mc.. It became 33days n now back to 30days cycle...

I feel so much better now with the treatment from my tcm... So.. Ladies! Dont give up... With my young age i had to go thru this much.... I am sure everyone of us still has the hope....

Just keep urselves healthy.. Do not stress... Go fo a small getaway when u need it...

And try only when Ur body is ready.... I really feel that sometimes we maybe eager to try after mc but our body isnt ready at all...so... Relax... Listen to you body... If ur body is fine.. Thinks tat u can do it.. Then go ahead n try again!
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God bless to everyone here... N sticky babydust to everyone! Hopefully coming to the end of this yr all of us will have a better luck with sticky babydust!

Good yr will be on its way! Stay positive! Anything can be possible!
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Hi harrods,

Your story remind me of my loss in May 2009. It was exactly the same like yours. 2 days away from going for Oscar scan, I experienced some fresh blood spotting. Went for gynea and was told bb was gone. I had D&C done the next day. 1st AF reported after 37 days and I got pregnant again although my lining was rather thin at 6-7mm. Baby born at 39 weeks in Mar 2010
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It was very tough to go through the loss. Have faith and stay positive. You will pregnant again when your body is ready.
 
Had a d&c 2 days ago, feeling rather devastated at the moment. Never been any op in my life before and the surgery really freak me out.

May I know how long it takes to heal emotionally and physically? Because I just feel like staying alone for a while and avoid anyone.... It's really a struggle to go through this. Are u gals feeling the same when u have d&c? And what keeps you going?
 
Emily: sorry to hear about ur loss.. I did not had any op at All before in my life until the d n c last yr dec. I was so sad... I break down in the clinic n gone silent in the hospital. Everyone was worried if I will do anything silly..

But I made my way to stand up again after that is my hub. He got me stronger n I manage to convince myself that it wasn't time for bb to come ... So I push hard to get my body back in shape n tried again.. But still loss it the second time.. But this time round I did the natural mc cos my bb sac was very small..

I admit I had not got over it. Be it my first mc or second. But I have to move on.. Whenever I feel down I will just shop.. My hub knows it well.. But I will somehow control myself..go for short holiday trip..

Now even my tcm doc say I should try again but I don't dare.. Everyone had convinced me that everything will definitely be fine the next try.. N I know I will have to take the gamble . It's only a 50-50 chance for my bb's survival...

Sigh... But still stay positive.. I guess .. Doing something u like.. Keep yourself occupied.. Think far..
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Hi All,

Yes we need to be brave for everyone but most importantly for ourselves and our hubby.

Recently I lost my bb when I was in my 5th month (still not consider stillborn nor miscarriage (by SG Law)... this is my 2nd lost. The 1st was when I was in my 8th week.
The pain was so much more intense but right after my d&c I was ok but sometimes at night will still drop some tears.

I told myself it was not meant to be, so I pulled myself from my sorrow and live each day as before I was pregnant.

Yes we will feel sad and maybe blamed ourselves for the lost but frankly speaking if bb did survival and then lost them at an even later stage, we will be even more devastated.

Therefore be brave and stay positive and gives ourselves another shot at it! Jiayou!!
 
Emily >> *HUGS* Yes, it's tempting to want to shut yourself away from the outside world. I did that for a few weeks also, but can't live like that, your family and friends will worry... and remember, your husband has also been through a big loss, if you shut yourself away it will really freak him out.

Spend more time with your husband, take time to grieve but also remember that at least you have each other and support each other.

I had nightmares about the d&c a few weeks after the procedure, And even though now I'm preg again, little things will recall the fear and I worry about everything. I guess the sadness never really leaves you... but you cannot allow yourself to be handicapped by it. Life has to go on.

For now just focus on accepting the loss but stay positive and rest well. Must get your body back in shape before you can try again. For me, I tried to keep my mind off things by volunteering at animal shelter, which I always wanted to do. Sure enough, after my first proper AF, I got preg again.
 
Hi Christine, I understand how u feel. May I know if u took any diagnostic tests for the reasons behind the mc?

Sometimes I heard cases of abortion, i ask God why He didn't allow my bb to survive instead?

When was your last mc? If it's more than 3 months, u are ready.... Are u seeing a fertility specialist?
 
Hi all, yes frankly if I ever get pregnant again. I think I will be super paranoid over the 10month pregnancy and all the scary tests. I am not sure how to be optimistic at times.

Hi KT, yes I understand what u mean. Sometimes reality about mc hurts, but it hurts more to know at a later stage of pregnancy or after birth about any abnormality.
 
Emily: my gynae wasn't bothered to run tests on me..he was a bad gynae... For both cases when I start bleeding.. All he thought of is to suck my money dry..so therefore I don't know the real reason for my mc...

I am currently seeing a Chinese physician. She is specialist in fertility.. But I'm seeing her to find my root of my health problems.. N it was reason out to my auto inmune that rejected external cell.. Cos I had a flu bug trapped in my body due to my born to be asthma n sinus and allergy.

Hopefully everything goes well. I loss my 2nd one in July. And my 2nd Af had reported anot out two weeks ago. Third one should be coming in in two weeks.

Hais... I'm afraid to try... Yet hoping to have a child on my own.. N yet wanna enjoy my honeymoon period with my hub first.. My hub did mention he don't want to try first. So I can only call off the plan first.. Maybe next yr? I guess...
 
Can I ask if we will bleed alot after D n C? I just did mine this morning and the bleeding has stopped now. So I'm quite confused cos I thought we will be clearing out the blood. I din get to see my gynae after the surgery and nothing much was explained to me too. All I'm having now is slight cramping.
 
Mine was little bleeding n no cramps after the op. But the 2nd day the flow comes abit heavier and slight cramping. And it subsides by 5th day.

Christine> it's okay to take a break. But can't go too long, women age is critical when it comes to fertility. That's why we are more anxious than men;)
 
Oisterbaby >> Don't worry, that is normal. Won't bleed a lot, cos they've already extracted most of the lining. You might have very light bleeding a few days after the procedure that will on for 3-4 days, plus slight cramping - that would be the body squeezing out anything that's left. Take care and rest well, do a mini confinement to get your body back in shape! *hugs*

Christine >> *hugs* Take your time... you are still young. Maybe your hubby doesn't want you to stress out about it, that's why he said take a break. Just go about life as normal and take it easy, maybe will strike when you least expect it
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Hi Emily and Tethysea.. Thanks alot for the info. Cos I only had a big spot of blood when I reached home after the operation and nothing else le. Guess my gynae really clean me up good. Am doing a mini confinement now to tiao my body. Pitying my whole family who is really worried and sad. If there's another pregnancy. I'm going to keep my mouth shut and not tell a soul except for my Hubby. Do not want to see my family as sad as now if it happens again..
 
Hi oisterbaby, I understand how u feel. It's like when u are pregnant, u wanted everyone to be happy with the good news, but eventually it turns out into a sad news overnight.... The whole world anticipating the bb, and it's so tough to explain what happened and explaining is an agony for us because it brings bk unhappy moments.....
 
oisterbaby >> Understand how you feel... I think before 1st tri over better not tell ppl, even though I'm not superstitious. It's just so painful having to answer awkward questions when/if things go wrong.

Mrs Chris >> Week 8 so late ah ^^; I think week7 better bah... cos by then heart should have started beating, can already tell if it's viable. But I heard overseas (e.g. US) the gynae will refuse to see you if you're not 8 weeks yet.
 
Tethysea: yes I guess so too... But I'm so envious of ppl getting preggy again n again.. Having to hold their little ones at the shopping malls n all... Feel so shattered inside when I tot of that... Hais..
 
oisterbaby >> Quickly go see gynae! Cramps is normal but pain is usually not a good sign, better be kiasu about it.

Christine >> Don't rush it... take time let your body get ready then will have sticky sticky bb. *hugs* I know it's very hard but don't go and compare with other ppl... I believe life is v fair de, we all have equal amount of blessings and trials, just depends on which areas of our lives. You have a loving hubby who will stand by you through everything. Think positive, bb will come to you when bb is ready...
 
tethysea - ok, shall see if there's a chance
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I may be too advanced preparing, but I was just thinking if I should stick to the previous gynea the next time. I read that some gynea provided some recommendations like hormones pills, ask mummy-to-be to have more bed rest, etc when things are not so positive. But he was quite certain that it might not be a good pregnancy and just asked me to continue eating as usual and to see me in few weeks later. Nothing extra to support the pregnancy. Not that I'm blaming him for not putting extra effort to make it happen, just pondering if his way of managing is suitable for someone like me with concerns.

Oisterbaby - did you take 生化汤? It's supposed to clear any remaining blood. You'd feel occasional cramps as the uterus is recovering back to original size. It took me close to 1.5 mths to get back to original uterus size.
 
Mrs Chris >> I'm surprised your gynae didn't even try
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My first gynae was an absolute idiot (didn't want to see me cos he was going on leave, didn't even arrange for a replacement doc, and when I called the clinic to say I suspect I had a miscarriage already his nurse just said "never mind come back when he's back from leave"!), and even he prescribed hormone pills and bedrest.

I personally prefer more kiasu gynae. At least you feel like they are doing some work for the amount we're paying them! When I had spotting for this pregnancy, my current gynae gave me hormone pills, hormone jabs, bedrest - really everything he can think of, maximise any chance of keeping the bb.
 
Anyone seeing a good fertility specialist? I heard alot about dr chris n dr Peter c at gleneagles... Not sure is it worth seeing one and are they good... My gynae says a miscarriage is by bad luck... I thought doctors should be more scientifically logical. When I asked for proper tests, he declined to do it..... Kind of discouraging;(
 
Emily >> Usually first m/c maybe really bad luck, the chromosomes just got mutated when the cells were multiplying. Usually they won't recommend tests unless multiple m/c (*choy choy choy*) cos apparently it's very expensive?
 
I got ep once n m/c once.... Does that sound serious? Anyone knows what tests they usually perform?

I heard that the tests are not that pricely.... ;) at least get an answer to my "why me"....
 
I din take anything except yomeishu and red date with Longan drinks. I rushed to A&E for painkiller jab because the oral ones are not working at all.. Once painkiller jab effect is over.. I'm dead pain again. My hospitalization leave is really spent rushing to hospitals.. My gynae was at a loss. All med n jab prescribe does not help. Only add on to my mounting bills.. Praying that my trip to SGH is the last one after they change my painkillers..
 
tethysea - think better i'd better do homework the next time. I chose him coz his clinic is nearest to home and many said he is one of the best doc... opinion differs
 
Hi all,

I am just curious, do your gynae do lab test after d&c? I read a lot that most gynae won't do any lab test after d&c if it's the first miscarriage but mine did and the result is molar pregnancy. but sometimes i do hope my gynae never send to lab test then i could try again sooner. cos' for molar pregnancy, i have to wait for at least 6 months. the waiting period is killing me.
 
Oisterbaby >> Oh dear... rest well and take care yar. I've heard that if bb more than 9weeks will have some leakage... I think if you leave it alone it will stop? Don't go and pump it. Maybe can put ice packs to relieve the engorgement?

Jer >> Maybe your hormone levels made your gynae suspect that it's molar, that's why sent for test. It's good to know lar, at least now you know the problem and can avoid it so next one will be sticky bb! Don't kanchiong, 6months will pass before you know it!

Emily >> ep = etopic ah? Is it tube blocked? Hmm if they do the tests, they have to get the fetal tissue from the d&c leh... now a bit late to do the test liao ^^; Did your current gynae know about the previous case?

Mrs Chris >> Yar, "shop" around, find one you are comfortable with. In the end it's all about personal chemistry bah, cos it's such an intimate and emotional topic. Other ppl click w that doc doesn't mean you will click.
 
tethysea,
I never take any blood test at all even after d&c. when i read up on molar pregnancy, it's stated that blood test has to be taken on a weekly basis to monitor hCG level but no blood test have been done. I also read that newer guide line is so long as hCG level is 0 for consecutive 3 test then it's safe to ttc again, waiting period will have cut to 3 months. Some even have to wait for up to 12 months cos' their level is did not go down to 0. so now i'm in a state of confusion. I am looking for another gynae who had experience in handling molar pregnancy.
 
I think my gynae only has the washing results to make sure everything is ok. No one says anything about testing why the foetus died. I'm wondering also. Anyway. Not gg to see my gynae again till a few weeks later. Hope all will b well then..

Raining heavily now. Ladies just went through D&C remember to keep warm n keep out of the rain..
 
Tethysea> I am referring to those fertility tests. I heard that for the foetus test, 99% do not have outcome so I didn't want it. I think the normal fertility test will be blood test and sperm test... A detailed ultrasound pelvic test.....

My ectopic self resolved as my hcg was very low.... No idea why I had that.... According to tcm, he says because my womb was too cold, and I should avoid cold drinks..... Anyway I suspect myself to have endo, how can the gynae confirm this? Lap is the only way right? I am scared of pain.

Oisterbb> u take care n recuperate fast;) rember don't take cold drinks.... N rest more.... We must gambante n get well soon! Time flies it has been a week since my d&c, hope time can heal our emotional n physical wounds overtime.... Jiayou!
 
Emily >> OIC... endo I think only have laparoscopy. I think some people also do Hysterosalpingography (HSG) to check for other fertility problems and "clear" the tubes? I already heard of 2 ppl who striked immediately after doing HSG. I wonder if TCM have any way to diagnose endo? Maybe want to ask your doc for advice, since you're seeing both.

Jer >> Your gynae sounds quite powerful leh, can suspect something wrong go for test even though have no data to work on?
 
Tethysea>i feel that TCM can tiao the body, but endo is a physical presence of some uterus tissue implantation..... TCM doesn't have the equipment to detect it, they can only guess their presence n still no way to eradicate it..... I thought HSG can only test if tubes are blocked, to unblock you still need surgical ways.

Anyone knows such laparoscopy can be claimed under medishield? When I think of the bills, it's very headache.;(
 

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