Support group - Miscarriages

Dear ling,
My heart goes out to you reading your story... My D&C is the coming Monday... I've been trying to keep my mind in a blank but i do cry now and then... We will pull thru this together and try again... Be strong... Let's give one another strength from here...
 


Hi Gals,
I'm thinking of starting a list. Can the mummies who went through a M/C and successfully conceived and delivered post your info to motivate the rest of us here? Thanks so much...

Nick – M/C# - Month of Last M/C – Cycle# (Pregnant Again) – Month of Delivery
Kaka2606 - ? – Jun’07 – 2 – May’08
 
Dear BluBerri, Ling and Sashamama pls take care. Life must go on no matter what. To prepare for your next bb, you must be stronger than ever.

Anyway I am on a bridge where I dunno to move forward or turn back. Supposed to be DPO24 on Thu but my HCG only 280, did a internal u/s, cannot find anything. Did another blood test today it's 324, no u/s done. HCG level didn't double within 48 hrs, so seems like chances are low. Doctor also never give me any advise just asked me to go back on Mon for another blood test. But I doubt there will be any significant changes in HCG level and I really don't feel comfortable going back to the 24HR clinic and facing a new doc each time. I was thinking of giving the Mon blood test a miss and making an appointment with a specialist gynae on Thurs or Fri. Hopefully by then I will have clearer results. What do you all think?
 
hi gals,

Not sure u all still remember me, I was here in March this year, had my 1st mc then. I may have to go thru another round of grief again.

I am preggie again after my 3rd AF. Went to the gynae on 29 jul, detected a sac and I was abt 5 weeks+ which I tot I was in my 6th already. Told to go back 10 days later, but I had spotting, so went back to gynae on 5 Aug. Did v-scan, still only can see a yolk sac. The look on the gynae wasn't too good. Told to do blood test for HCG level, and another one 2 days later. Compare the 2 readings, shd be doubled.. unfortunately, it didn't. Gynae wasn't positive at all. Told me to go back to him after 1 week. Given me a jab and also have to take duphaston 3 times a day. My next appt will be on 13 Aug, if still no progess, I will have to do d&c again.

This is so emotional draining for me.
 
Dear gals,
Let me share the info below with you after having done two blood tests myself. This list is given by Quest Laboratories from TMC:

Weeks Post LMP : HCG Range
3-4 Weeks : 9 - 130
4-5 Weeks : 75 - 2600
5-6 Weeks : 850 - 20800
6-7 Weeks : 4000 - 100200
7-12 Weeks : 11500 - 289000
12-16 Weeks : 18300 - 137000
16-29 (2nd Tri) : 1400 - 53000
29-41 Weeks (3rd Tri) : 940 - 60000

My first blood test was taken on Monday when I should be 7.5 weeks, measured 57000. I was comforted. But my second blood test taken on Thu which should have reflected over 114000 in my 8th week, came back as 52000. The level dropped. Doc says there's no way it will rise again. i have a 2cm waterbag and a 4mm yolk sac in it, both didn't grow for 2 weeks. Monday is my final scan, if there is no miracle, then I'd do a D&C in the afternoon...

Dear TenQ,
My gynae said if the level doesn't double in 48 hours or worse still, drop, this means the bb is unhealthy and not growing as it should. Though we can wait a while more but the longer we wait, the longer it will drag on as bb is not growing or growing too slowly. This is nature's way of helping us ensure better that we conceive healthier bb. For your case, you can seek a 2nd opinion of course, bring your blood test results to the new gynae on Mon or Tue and do a blood test. No need to wait til Thu/Fri, IMHO. If the level is not doubling in 48 hours, it's bad news... Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst, my dear... All the best!

Dear Stephy,
We are in an almost similar situation except this is my first time. I'm trying very hard to be positive or keep my mind in a blank tho I do burst into tears now and then and have difficulty sleeping. Life will be worse for me after monday's d&c but at the least, i know i can conceive, and DH & I can and will try again. All the best... May miracles happen for you, tenq and myself...
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Dear Ling, tenQ n sashamama,
When i read yr stories, i really feel like crying! it reminds so much of my own experience and helplessness tt i felt then.. ling, take yr time.. it's ok to feel cold towards others.. in my case, i took about a month b4 i went back to my mum's plc 4 dinner n luckily, they nv probe.. my frens esp those preg, tried not to mention anything but it sort of make it worse for me.. i only faced them recently.. it's really so difficult to have a smooth pregnancy n everyday i'm praying for a healthy baby..
stephy,
i remember u.. i followed yr post when i 1st m/c.. now im abt 6 wks preg n my case sounds similar to yrs.. im very very afraid to lose this bb n im crossing my fingers to see bb's hb on mon.. even so, it may not be 100% no risk.. honestly, i dun know y it is so difficult for me to have a healthy bb.. esp when i look at some pple who rejoice at their preg news n went on having a smooth preg.. i actually bit my lips when i saw a +ve sign.. trying real hard to be positive
 
Hi Sashamama, TenQ and Jo,

Thanks for all ur encouragements! Its really hard to accept the fact and face reality, doesn't it? Hubby is now away working overseas for 2 weeks n I find it even harder to move forward. But I will still try my best tho'. Let's do it together as well..

Ever since the D/C, i haven gone back to my gynae for a check. Do u ladies do tt also? Hubby wants me to go back for a check soon. Cos' for my case initially, the bleedin stopped aft abt 10 days n I discovered the brown discharge with some bleeding last sun which lasted for 4 days. Is tt my mensus or just some leftovers frm the op? Somedays, my tummy looks v bloated and my nose bleeds too. He doesn't want me to wait another 2 weeks for him to return just in case something is wrong. Should I or do I really have to see my gynae again? Or wud it be ok to see another gynae? Really have doubts abt him. haiz... plus.. going bk to the clinic means i will have to also face many other preg ladies too.. sigh...
 
Hi ling,

I think u should go back 4 a check.. i did..
if u not confomtable w this gynae, change another one.. mine is quite gd.. TMC, adelina wong.. or u can always "scan" this forum 4 recommendations.. make sure u "tiao" yr body n do a mini confinement.. very impt..
 
Hi Jo,

Will tink abt whether to go back to my gynae at glen e or change to another. I wana "tiao" my body bk also and I went thru the confinement le. Didn't tink mine was mini tho'. Went thru it for over 3 weeks. Took a lot of ginger, glutinous rice wine, essence of chicken etc.. glad it's over..
 
when i found out i am preggie, i tot i was in luck, because after my first mc, i had very irregular menses cyle. My LMP is on 16 Jun and I only BD once on 2 Jul and then i striked.

On my first visit at the gynae, everything seems to be so positive, the nurse even gave me the latest delivery package list. But the joy doesn't last at all.

Now after increasing the dosage for duphaston, I am feeling so lousy due to the side effect of it. Sometimes, I don't even feel my pregnancy at all. If not for the hormone pills, I think my pregnancy hormone is draining away.

If really I had to have another d&c, I don't think I want to have mini confinement liao, which will further worsen my depression.

Some how I felt I am at fault for this cause. Maybe I shd juz learn to let go and just stick to 1 child policy. I am a SAHM, I felt bad spending so much on "2" failure pregnancy. It is both monetary and emotional draining.
 
Stephy - i remember you too.. i do hope there's a miracle for you. its tremendous grief to have to go thru 2 MC. i hope the best for you...

Sashamama - i also hope a miracle awaits you on Monday. been following the Mar09 thread without posting actually cos everything was not confirmed. and now... i dun have to follow it anymore...

Ladies - and now,im really really sad to share with you gals that i had another unfortunate loss again... yes,it happened again. last check up shows bb with no heartbeat and the sac is collapsing. bb is still very young at oni 6wks plus. i was devastated and sank. Had a DNC and am resting at home now. i am feeling angry, dissapointed, horrible n horrible!!! why? i lost 2 babies within 5 months. at TMC,the nurse asked if i had an operation before and i told her i had evac before and when she asked when,i told her tis year. she asked me again: this year? so this ur second time? i just burst out in tears... was crying non stop in the OT. Dr Adrian spent some time talking to me bout it happening again and said that since i had a healthy preg before and am stil rather young, everything works. nothing cld b wrong with us,its just bad luck.he din ask us to do any testing and he mention that to lose it at such early stage could be the chromosome problem. i was too distraught to think and do anything anyway. but i must say he really injected some peace and assurance in me.

i never thought i cld have a MC. and never ever thought it could happen twice in a row. Now HB and i think that our gal is the lucky one to survive and come to us. he told me he is fine with only one child and we will just give her the best. i also din mind just having my gal but i would really love for her to hve siblings. am i even too greedy to ask for a sibling for my gal???

Dr Adrain advised us to just keep trying and not wait too long. his personal story of his wife having gone thru 2 MC before their 1st child and another 2 MC before their 2nd child and yet another MC before his 3rd child is a motivating story to Hb and me. I guess we will still try again but first i need to get myself back first.im lost again right now...
 
Aileen,

I share the same thoughts as you. Are we really asking too much, juz need 1 more to complete a family. I felt sad when I see my son doesn't have a sibling to play with.

Gynae did suggest to me to have a chromosome abnormalities test done. Is there any use even if we got a explaination why is happening? Does it mean we can find a way to stop it from happening it again? The test isn't cheap at all. I dunno whether I shd go ahead with it.

I am 35 this year. I don't know whether shd I keep on trying.

Whatever it is, we got to juz stay strong for our existing kid.
 
Stephy - we were thinking of doing the test or not. decision was if gynae said to go ahead,we will but our gynae did not ask. his thought is that we have a child and healthy preg before, so most likely its a mismatch and din ask for any test. i also thought to myself,having known the result of whether its trisomy or other chromosome problems, it helps no more. we just need to carry on with life right now. will u be trying again?? HB and i agree to take a longer break this time before we try again. i wish it was a nightmare,i wish i had not gotten pregnant if its meant to be a MC...
 
hi aileen,

so sorry to hear this news from u. i don't think there's anything i can say to make it better but i think u're really brave. u've been very strong, babe.

pls take care. send my regards to ur hubby too. hope he's ok too.
 
aileen,

You asked me whether I want to try again. I want to, but I am too scared to have another failure too.

When I had my boy, I was seeing another gynae, Dr Chris Chen at Gleneagles. Prior to my pregnancy, I have seen him for my PCOS too. When I got preggie, immediately he did blood test on me every week to check my hormone level and then I had a series of hormone treatment. I didn't continue with him when my pregnancy becomes stable. His charges isn't cheap and no package, so I decided to switch to another gynae after my first trimester.

If I were to get preggie again, I feel going back to Chris Chen again. Maybe his hormone treatment has helped me to "save" my first pregnancy. But I dunno whether will he be "angry" with me and be "mean". What you think?
 
Hi Stephy,
I doubt any doc will be angry with the patient and be mean... Don't worry... Going back to him means you trust him enough and he would know your situation better. He's a good doc, read many good reviews abt him, it won't turn out bad I'm sure
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Dear Aileen,
Really sorry to hear about your case... Dr Adrian's real life experiences really give all of us here more hope to try again. I sure will try again, i don't even have any kid yet... I'd rather one than none... Hope to conceive again successfully and deliver next year before Nov when i turn 30...

Hi gals,
The past few days I've had greater difficulty sleeping... Every little cramp and feel of v discharge, i would wonder if my natural M/C is starting... Til now, i have not M/C, could be the duphaston stabilising my waterbag. In 14 hrs, i'd be having my final scan and if there's no miracle, I'd be doing a D&C. Will need much support from you gals here and would seek to provide support too...
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What kind of mini confinement should we do? Really no going out, no bathing and only eating ginger stuff and dang-gui stuff? Pls enlighten me... Thanks...
 
sashamama,

I have talked to my hb about going back to Chris Chen too, he also thinks I shd. There are lots of good and bad reviews about him. As long as he can save my pregnancy, I will be grateful liao.

I have not been sleeping well too. I think the side effects of duphaston is really hitting us. Tomolo I have accompaned my mom for her eye surgery. Seems like this pregnancy doesn't come at a correct time too. Was told to rest more at home, but with my mom down, I had to do most of the housework. Plus tomolo, my boy childcare centre will be closed, I have to attend to him too.

For my previous mc, I have ordered confinement food from Natal Essentials for 1 week. I had only red date water for 1 weeks too. I took DOM for about 1 month. Beside these, life is as usual, I bath and shower my hair as per normal. But during the mini confinement, I was super depressed, cried almost everyday, I guess is the withdrawal of the pregnancy hormone. Plus, the smell of the confinement food and drink, reminds me of my first confinement I had. Doing confinement without a bb, makes me feel lousy. That's why this time, I don't think I want to do confinement liao. I will go back to workout once the gynae approves.

My next gynae appt will be on 13 Aug at 11.30am. I thinking skipping breakfast, so at least, I can have d&c done on the same day if my pregnancy really can't make it. Are u advised not to eat since u are on standby for d&c on monday?
 
Hi Sashamama

Hope this will encourage everyone here

Nick - Month of Last M/C – Cycle# (Pregnant Again) – Month of Delivery
Kaka2606 - ? – Jun’07 – 2 – May’08
Piggymummy - ? - Sept'07 - ? - May'08
Roxy - Mar'07 - Oct'07 - 6 - May'08
Piggymummy, hope you dun mind me putting your details in..
There are definitely alot of people here who have mc before and gone on to have successful pregnancies, so dun give up!

Hi Aileen
I am very very sorry to hear about your loss... please take care. Yes, Dr Adrian's story is very encouraging, he did the dnc for me then

Hi Ling
I'm sorry to hear your situation. Is it convenient to share who your gynae is?He doesnt sound very responsible. All gynaes have emergency contact numbers, it is very vital to store these numbers in your hp so we can call them in case clinic not open. The same thing happened to me before also, I had very serious bleeding on 5th week, called emergency number, the gynae who picked up the phone told me dun bother coming down, you MC liao..praise God I managed to speak to my regular gynae and he insisted I come down and he hospitalised me. Take time to grieve but dun shut yourself up and dun give up TTC. Have faith that you will be carrying your little one in your arms eventually and yes,it is better to go for a follow up visit after dnc to ensure that womb is cleared, lining is back to normal etc


hi stephy
I am very sorry to hear this. Dun give up and stay strong for your son's sake!
 
Hi Stephy,
Thanks for sharing your mini confinement with me... I'm unsure what to eat or do but i foresee i won't go through it too strictly... Hope to have more advice from other gals as well to see what i'd like to include or exclude from the confinement...

Hi Roxy,
Thanks so much for sharing the success stories... Hope more mummies can come back here to post their successes here to motivate the rest of us... I'd surely be very down for some time... My 99% sure D&C is 9 hours later... I should have been 8.5 weeks now... 25% through the pregnancy... ...

Nick - Month of Last M/C – Cycle# (Pregnant Again) – Month of Delivery
Kaka2606 - ? – Jun’07 – 2 – May’08
Piggymummy - ? - Sept'07 - ? - May'08
Roxy - Mar'07 - Oct'07 - 6 - May'08

Can more mummies come back to share your success pls?
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Sashamama - same like stephy,i opted out of confinement cos its too painful to do it again. i will just be boiling ba zhen soup n black chicken wf dang gui for myself. will be eating a dish of gingery stuff each meal for just a week. am heading back to work soon cos i think i will die if i keep thinking and getting myself lost in the wide vast now...

Stephy - i ever wonder before if its my hormones that are unable to support the initial stage. cos for my gal, due to bleeding i had jabs n was on duphaston ( 2 tabs 3 times a day ) as compared to 1tab 3 times a day for my 2 losses. but of cos i also am thinking that if its not meant to be,the hormones tabs might not be of help either. sigh,im just lost.

cheekz / Roxy - thanks for the support. i hate to be brave but i have to.. in front of HB i got to be strong. but when he left for work,i just sank again and cried uncontrollably..
 
Hi Aileen,

I am terribly sorry for what is happening. When I read ur latest post, I just kept frowning and can't help but feel very sad and disturbed becoz I hve grown attached to ur bb too after all these while of "talking" to u. Am truly sorry. Hugz..Just my 2 cts worth what u should do now. Take ur time to recover and grief and until u r physically and emotionally ready to start thinking about the future, take each day as it comes and don't think too far or u will really overwhelm urself during this trying period. Take it easy first and most importantly, be kind to urself.

Yeah, Stephy, I remember readiing ur postings. Take care and I hope everything turns out fine eventually. Take care again.

TenQ, Yes, if u can, its better to seek a more concrete opinion with a specialist who can give u more insights. And I hope urs is a false alarm and everything will work out.

Ling, sorry to hear abt ur loss. Its good to go for a ultrasound scan after D&C to check if uterus has return back to where it should be.

Sashamama
For the mini confinement, I just did 1 week but throughout, had 1 week of confinement food, bath with boiled herbal water (just go to the medical hall and ask to buy bathing herbs for confinement). The herbs is to get rid of wind if u choose to bath during ur confinement. Avoid all cold and icy drinks for abt 1 mth as it weakens the womb, drink essence of chicken in the morning, and DOM sometimes at nite to rid the wind too. Alll the best.
 
Hi gals,
Thanks for all your support and encouragement. I really hope there is really a thing called "Miracle".
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Aileen,
I also dunno whether is the hormone treatment from Chris Chen will be helping me, but indeed I had a successful pregnancy. I didn't had any bleeding in all my pregnancies, except for this time, a very light staining, I am not sure it is even a spotting. Chris Chen gave me crinone gel (vagina suppository) and I think 2 other hormone pills to take, also I remembered I had to take 6 pills of folic acid daily. Every day, imagine I had to pop 10 over pills.. I have to go to his clinic everyday except Sunday to have the crinone gel inserted into me. It was really intensive. Within the month, I spend almost close to $3k. Going to him will be my last hope liao, if it is still unsucessful, I resign to fate liao.
 
Just done my D&C on 07/08. This is my 2nd preg. Discover my preg at 5 weeks, U-scan & v-scan can't see the fetus, only waterbag,it's so stressful to wait with the hope for miracle happened.2nd ceheck up still see only empty sac, done HCG test, it's keep dropping. It's very hard to accept when I was thinking how happily, three of us (me, hubby & my son) had a 1st visit to gynea, but just about 1 month, it just gone like that. During waiting period is the tough one. Morning put a strong face went to work,at night can't sleep,in the middle of night woke up crying , praying hoping for miracle happened.don't give up, I went to seek 2nd opinion,1st the gynea said saw something in waterbag, but not sure it's blood cot or fetus as it's too small, my hope was raised up, the range of test done again,even dr gave me 1 week mc to bed rest as spotting some bloods. But 2nd visit after saw the result, again it's confirmed empty sac. This 2nd gynea didn't give me time to think go natural m/c or do d&c,he just said the longer I hold, it'll cause infection. When I asked what is the best solution, he said do D&C and it can be done on his clinic on the same day as well.My husband agree as he knows I'll get more pressure if we keep waiting natural m/c and I might be gone crazy to keep finding gynea to save my bb. At the time, I were quite shock, so I don't care anymore what they are doing to my body. I don't care myself anymore as I were so angry,sad....Only one hour D&c it's done,suddenly, I woke up it's over. No pain at all.My bleeding is also quite little.Dr gave me mc until next monday.The remain of fetus sent to be checked,the result shall be come out this coming thursday.No more tears on the day as it's dry up already.The loss nobody can understand.My sis just delivered a bb yesterday,I'm so envy even don't have a strength to congrat her. I don't know why but just feel don't want to talk to anybody. I sms my relative and friends who knows my preg to inform them, it's over and asked them don't call me.

May I know normally how long is the Medical leave given after D&C? And how long that we need to have a confinement? As nobody take care of me, I just cater the food for confinement, but notice the cooking don't have sesame oil & ginger, but have some herbal soup. Is it ok?
 
Bubbleteahut - yes,i think at the present moment i really need to be kind to myself. am living each day so aimlessly now that i dun even feel 'alive'.. i was telling HB hw i wish it was just a nightmare and i wake up knowing everything is fine. really,i wish i had not gotten pregnant if its meant to be another loss. i wished i had not raised my hopes when i saw bb's heartbeat the last time. thanks for your words of advice *hugz*

loveyboy - my first MC,i was given 2 weeks hospital leave but i went bk to work after one. staying at home made everything worse. and if i did not head back,i think i could have sunk farther...i only had a one week confinement. for this 2nd MC,i am just cooking simple dishes of ginger n sesame oil for myself.u take care too...
 
loveyboy: *patpat*.. i was told that normally 3 days mc given after d/c. but i asked for the max which is 2wks.
if it's early stage, 1 wk confinement is enough.
i also ordered confinement food from natal essential as no one cook for me.
 
Aileen, sorry to hear abt wat has happened.. do take care.. let's jiayou together.

loveyboy, do take care... i was given 14days leave after my D&C.. i oni did mini-confinement for a week in which i went back to my sis place to stay n my mum cooked for mi. u get those herbs 'ba zhen* fm medical hall dat are meant for M/C and cook it with black chicken.
 
Hi Bluberi,

Forgot to mention this to u, for my first cycle after D&C, I did not ovulate also. So don't give up so easily k. Its probably our body telling us that its not yet ready for another preg and still needs time to get back into shape despite the clomid. Do give ur body a bit more time don't set urself any ultimatum. Hope ur cycle gets better but I am sure it will!

Loveboy, I had one week of mc and I believe that is the minimum for the body to recover. By right confinement food should have a lot of sesame oil and ginger. U can consider Natalessential for one more week maybe.
 
Aileen,

Yes, can comprehend ur feeling of hoping its a nightmare. We all can see the amount of hardwork u hve put in and I am sure ur hb and bb knows it too. Ur crying is not unbrave. Heros cry too. U hve done ur best and now its time to take good care of urself. Pls take care.
 
I'm confused. My HCG increased to 474 today (sat it was 328, last thurs 280). Not an optimal increase and doc can't confirm that I had a miscarriage. Say I'm still pregnant. But they did an external and internal u/s didn't see any sac and ruled out ectopic pregnancy for the moment. I'm still bleeding now... it's been 2 weeks 3 days of bleeding! Not very optimistic and just want a finality in this. Seeing another gynae on Friday...
 
Hello,

Thank you so much for the advices. Yes, I cater confinement food from natal essential for a week, but don't find the food contains ginger and sesame oil which should be for confinement food.

Do you experience the cramp after d&c? Everyday, my tummy has a sharp pain& cramp. The pain is unbearable. Every time has to take painkiller then it feel better. Not sure when the pain will be ease. A bit worry if I'm back to work and have this pain at office next week.
 
hi Aileen,
reali sorry to know ur loss.My heart goes to u.I reali don't know wat to say...I reali find Dr Adrian experience very encouraging.
Did Dr Adrian advise u to do any blood test or SA test(for ur hb)?
I can understand how u feel coz i myself oso hv two m/cs in the last 5months-1 in last Dec,2nd one last June.After this,i decided to tak a break.
We did a chromosome test for the 2nd m/c n found out tat my bb has chromosome defect-triplody.Again,it is a random event,so nothing we could control.The test costs abt $550.
Besides, i oso did a blood test(3 big tubes of blood were drawn),it is called m/c profile test.My hb went for SA test. The SA test shows tat his sperms quality isn't good.We'll b seeing the gynae end of this mth. We didn't wanna do anything at this moment coz we wanna give ourselves longer break b4 ttc again.
Aileen,i know wat u meant n how u feel....but at least u've done something(by taking duphaston n hormone jab) to save ur bb.Coz at this early stage,we reali didn't know wat causing the m/c..70% of the early m/c is caused by chromosome errors,which nothing we could do to it to save the preggie.Other causes r hormone defect, uterine abnormalities,age,infection...

Give urself a break...go out n pamper urself after confinement.Then when u r more emotionally settle,u may go back to ur gynae to do some tests as i mentioned,if u wish to.At the same time,can see TCM to boost ur body.

hi stephy,
i agree wf u tat m/c is both monetary and emotional draining.
We r sharing the same experience as u.I'm a year younger than u n hv a 4y.o son.I oso hv had 2m/c last 5mths.I'm giving myself a longer break but I am not giving up.
Although chromosomal errors are the cause of the majority of miscarriages, they are not usually caused by an inherited trait from mother or father. Less than five percent of couples tested will have an inherited genetic cause of such chromosomal defects. Thus, I don't tink it is necessary for u to do a chromosome test for both of u n ur hb.It is indeed very costly.
After my 2nd m/c,we asked for chromosome test for my bb n found out tat he has chromosome defects-triplody.According to our researches n gynae advice,it is a one time event.Despite this,we still feel tat we r reali Very Unlucky to be selected Twice randomly.Mayb our eggs or sperms r reali tat defective?
But tink +ve,at least, we r able to conceive.Dr Adrian experience is very encouraging...but oso quite scary n i ever ask myself if i can be as persistent as his wife
 
Hi loveyboy,
i had 2 wks of mc n my mum cooked 4 me.. it's impt to build yr health back n get rid of "excess gas" in yr body.. chicken essence (warm) is rather good, tonic wine too..
For the cramps, i also experience it during the 1st few days.. it's normal.. just pop painkillers n go to sleep.. take care..
 
Hi Roxy/ Bubbleteahut,

Thank You! My gynae is Dr Chris Chong from Glen E. Yes, he does have an emergency no. but it directs to any doc who was on duty tt day. Anyway, not too sure if i've mentioned, recently gt to know tt my hubby's colleague's wife also m/c at abt 8 weeks. Coincidentally, same doc.
Just that she sees him at Bishan while i see him at Glen E. Well, I should be making an appt anyday tis week. Just want to get it over n done with and I'm out of there..

Hi Everyone,

Just want to share that I've started to try get out of my nutshell these 2 days. I "jio" my frens out for a walk (1st time aft the D/C) and today, when i was out for lunch with my colleagues, I offered my preg. colleague some of the salmon that i ordered. Telling her its gd for her n her bb (omega fatty acids)..

Seriously, nv thought i could be tt strong to tell her tt. I just keep on reminding myself that i want to get back on track and stop brooding over the loss. Yes, its still very painful but life still goes on. I cannot put my grieves on her.. aftall.. its not her fault and she is expecting her bb's arrival dec this yr. Dun wish to affect her either.

I want concentrate to prepare myself before i start TTC again. Believe that if we stay positive, I believe it will somehow help in our future preg. This will also be the best present to both hubby n myself aft a great loss.

We all just got to keep on tryin and not lose heart. We are not alone. We are all here to help encourage each other, right? Heez.. I also hope that i can continue to stay positive. So pls forgive me if I do cry. WE JIAYOU TOGETHER, K?

Btw.. wud you all mind sharing with me how much you actually spend for ur D/C operation? I actually paid $2149.37 cash aft $650 from medisave for a day ward accomodation. His docs fees alone is $1136. I heard some got it done below 1K?
 
ling, mine one slightly less than $1.3K which done @ gynae's clinic.
according to the asst, i can't claim for medisave!
 
hi Ling
$2k cash!!! Mine was done by Dr Adrian,he very kind, even told me to bring his clinic receipts as I can claim $450 cash from medisave.. entire dnc only cost me $800 plus.. all paid through medisave and as I can claim $450 cash from medisave,I did not pay a single cent and tmc actually gave me a $150 cheque back. Mine was a day operation, didnt stay overnight...
Glad to hear you are feeling better, dun give up!!


hi Aileen
Take your time to grieve, keep a space in your heart for little one and most importantly, look forward to your next little one
 
Dear gals,

I went for my final scan today at 1pm, bb is still the same, not growing and no hb though I should be in week 8. So I went ahead with the D&C in the afternoon.

I'm not very very upset now, still a little groggy and mind in a blank. When my emotions are in, I'd post something here to vent... please pardon me then...
happy.gif



There is a fren from another thread asking what happens during a D&C, as she may have to go through it. Below is my step-by-step account.

<font color="ff0000">PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF IT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR LOSS AND UPSETS YOU FURTHER, THIS IS FOR THOSE WHO NEED TO KNOW CLEARLY WHAT HAPPENS DURING D&amp;C.</font>

(1) No food and water minimum 6 hours prior to op, not even water. Get all receipts from your doc, may be able to claim from medisave.
(2) 2-3 Hours before the op, Doc gave me 2 pills to take to can enter better during the op.
(3) I nearly vomitted after abt 10 minutes but i stomached the med or i'd need to take again.
(4) I registered myself at the TMC level 1 admissions, takes about 10 minutes. Be prepared to pay a $500 deposit.
(5) The receptionist walks you to the day surgery ward, your hubby can be with you.
(6) Go toilet to pee (i even shit... :p)
(7) Come back to ward, strip everything, lingerie, jewellery, contact lens, put on the green surgical robe, wear disposable panties and hospital will give you a pad to wear. The nurse will ask many questions abt ur health.
(8) I started having slight cramps about 10 minutes after taking the pills and the cramps will be on off til your surgery.
(9) I started to bleed (not a lot) about 20 minutes after I took the pills.
(10) Just lie in bed to rest.
(11) About 20-30 minutes before your turn, another bed will be wheeled to you, transfer yourself onto that bed, and i smiled a goodbye to dh, who left to run some errands.
(12) You'd be wheeled to outside the operating theatre and wait there for sometime til the op theatre is available and your doc comes. Another nurse will ask you many questions. If you're afraid of the cold, like me, ask for another blanket.
(13) This waiting time is the one where i succumbed to some tears as I say my final goodbye to my bb, telling my bb to be strong in his/her journey in his/her world and papa mama will be strong in our journey in this world too. I try not to over-dwell in this and succeeded, probably because i bawled myself crazy last night, crying non-stop for 1 hour. So my advice is to pour it all out prior to the op...
(14) Then you'd be wheeled into the operating theatre and will transfer to another bed. Your doc will be with you and administer the anaesthesia for you. I fell asleep within 3 mins and the next thing I know, i'm back in the ward and my hubby is beside me.
(15) Actually after the op, you'd rest in the ward right beside the theatre for 20-30 mins before you're wheeled back to the day surgery ward but i have no recollections of that.
(16) My op was at about 3 plus 4pm, and i was wheeled back to my ward before 5pm, very fast. At 615pm, i woke up to have a small cup of milo and some biscuits (from nurse), get changed and left.
(17) During my recovery time, my hubby went to settle payment and gave the cashier all the gynae visit receipts for medisave claim. He didn't pay more than the $500 deposit he paid and the cashier said we might even get back some cash after the claims (via a cheque).
(18) I slept through the car ride and then ate porridge that my mum cooked and watched tv and am preparing school work now.
(19) As for confinement, my doc says she doesn't believe in it but it's up to us. I guess i'd eat mum-cooked food for abt 5 days and drink some essence of chicken and some dom and rest a lot at home. Some ladies go through strict confinement, taking lots of ginger, liver, longan and red dates tea, no bathing nor going out but i won't be following 100%, maybe 50%. Do what you prefer
(20) After this d&amp;c, i'd be bleeding for about 5 days, doc says. I need to take antibiotics and there're some painkillers given, take when nec.
(21) Doc says this is similar to menses and i might ovulate 2 weeks later but wear a condom and not TTC yet, wait til 2 cycles later, so i'd wait til 1st cycle sept, 2nd cycle oct then i'd try again.
 
Hello gals,

Sorry for disappearing, I had a bout of sore throat and runny nose last week. Was tired and drowsy after the medications and stuff.

Bluberi,
No prob, thanks so much for your TCM contact!

Sashamama,
*Hugs* Take good care of yourself, so sad to read your posting. I like your positive attitude, it's great to have you in the forum.
You kno, my galfriend advised me to go do the 'chao-du' for my past 2 MCs, she checked out for me recently, and I will pop by the temple to get more details.
Meantime, rest well ya.

Shirley,
Take it easy, that's always the case when one gets stress, one's target seem so far away. Do you and hubby have some time to go for holiday together? My friend also advised me, don't go think so much abt it, and let things progress naturally. Saying is easy of course, but it's just so diff to carry it out at times.

Ling,
Take care, so sad when I read your posting. I understand how you feel, I had a friend, we were preg at around the same time, twice; but twice I suffered a MC. And now I see her son, I am reminded of my 1st MC for if my bb had survived, they would be around the same age. Then she's now 6mths+ preg now, and if my 2nd MC bb had survived, I would be around her term too.
sad.gif
Yes, do go for a follow-up check. My gynae requested, and I did for my past two MCs. He checked my womb size, and also if I had anymore bleedings in my womb. My D&amp;C was done at glenE and fees were around 1.4k after medisave deduction. Think my gynae's fees alone ard S$1,050.

Stephy,
*Hugs* Be strong, we are here for you. It's so sad, to see our gynae's worried faces, I remembered my gynae too, he frowned when he detected bleeding in my womb for my 2nd MC. I hated that moment and I wished it can be erased from my mind. I do agree that MC is both monetary and emotional draining.
sad.gif
And wow, 6 tabs of folic acid daily? Did your gynae mention why? I would wanna pop 6 too if it can help me.

Aileen,
Sad to hear about your loss, pls take good care. Like you, I have a darling daughter now and how I wished for a sibling for her. I remembered myself crying throughout my 1st MC ordeal. I started crying when we were on the way down to my gynae's clinic in the morning. Cried very hard in the operating theatre and the anesthetist had to sedate me a little first while waiting for my gynae. It was extremely painful. You have a very supportive gynae, he has been thru a lot himself and can definately relate better to our cases.

lovelyboy,
It's very sad, especially your sister has just delivered a bb. It's normal to not feel like talking, I am like that too. Just wanna lie in bed all day. I even smsed my closest galfren telling her not to call me first, i will call her when i'm ready. Pls take lots of care and I hope u get back onto tracks soon. And do have a mini-confinement to nourish your body. I didn't take much care during my recent 2nd MC (only few days of confinement food) and felt that my body is weaker now.
sad.gif
 
hi gals,
I have also from the same Mar 2009 thread as sashamama and in fact we have same LMP date. Now we are in same situation.

Last Friday, went to gynae and was told in week 6 day 1 based on size of bb and can hear faint heartbeat but slower than normal 80. Normal bb heart beat should be 120-140. He said never mind monitor 3 weeks later come back.

Just Sunday, while doing my bowels, I had fresh blood bleeding after urinating. Was shocked... called my gynae and was told to rest and see him on Monday morning.

Went on Morning morning and still see bb heartbeat but very faint and slower now. Still got bleeding whole Sunday, Monday and even today.

Was told to prepare for worse than bb heartbeat will stop any day and M/C. Come back see gynae on friday for scan and decide if go for wash on next day.

Last night I told my parents and my brother. My brother keep telling me not to give up and seek 2nd opinion. Why doc never give me a jab to stop bleeding as my SIL had similar spotting but told him it is not the same. Bro still tell me to seek 2nd gynae opinion since bb still got faint heart beat. I really dont know if I should try and hear the same news again. Hb told me not to and just take MC and wait till friday to see if bb still got heartbeat. Cos I have been bleeding more since yesterday morning when I came back from gynae... like menses. Probably no hope liao...bb gone or not going to survive.
What do you think I shd do ?
 
Last night, could not sleep... thinking what went wrong. Why suddenly got bleeding ? Did I strain myself too much doing housework.. or was it the BBQ food I took few days ago... really dont know why.. My mom told me how come not careful ... did I carry my gal too much... I did not except when she needs to pee.
Why ???? sob...
 
Just to add... my gynae told me if bb not healthy, even jab or any hormones medicine will not help....will not stop bleeding. Any advice ?
 
hi Ling,
I done DnE at Glen,charges is $2515.Medisave deduction is $650. It is indeed very costly compared to Raffles Hos,which i paid $800 only.

I was seeing Dr Chris Chong but I switched to other gynae who I am more comfortable with.I would rather stick to a gynae who can give me beta advice.

Hi Magenta,
Ur gynae fee is very costly.Could u share wf me who is ur gynae?
 
Good morning ddtan,

In your heart, do you wanna take a second opinion? If yes, do so. If not, then don't. Just don't further stress yourself okie. I know, easier said than done, but do be strong ya.

Well, only mother nature wil know why we are getting all this bleeding. I had internal bleeding (in my womb) for my past two MCs. My 1st MC, I carried my then 20mths+ girl a lot, and I was working and walking about a lot and I thought that was the cause. So when I got preg again, I refrained from carrying my girl (then 3.5yrs) and rested as much as I could. Didn't even do hsework and I was a SAHM at that time too. So we couldn't figure it out why I had bleeding in my womb the 2nd time round. Don't blame yourself, it's not the BBQ food and that you are not careful, you didn't fall down nor do anything vigorous isn't it.

My gynae, anesthetist and GP said quite the same thing (at diff occasions) to me; what's not meant to be is not meant to be. Not good to force the body to continue an abnormal preg, mother nature will step in to stop the 'production' if 'product' is deemed not good. I hated to hear this, for it meant that there was nothing we can do. My gynae added; would you wanna choose to abort your child in the later stages when he/she cannot thrive or would you want your baby to leave by himself/herself with mother nature? This comforted me a little, at least, it's my baby whom chose to leave despite measures to try keep him/her.
 
Sashamama - glad to see that you are so positive. do rest well and bu ur body back. take care...

Ling - My DnC charges are about 1k,done by Dr Adrian at TMC. His doctor charges are only half of what your gynae charged i think.

Magenta - Yes, i do think that my gynae is very supportive. when he checked that i had a 2nd MC,he was frowning and going tsk tsk,sighing away. i guess he was sorry for me as well. i also wonder if the first MC was caused by myself with careless acts ( i fell down once ) and frequent carrying of my gal... and if the 2nd MC was really the random event... anyway, thoughts are still thoughts. we will never know. i guess we just got to be strong for our gal now. my HB was quite protective in me going thru another preg and said he doesn't even mind if we adopt a child...

Avocado - Dr Adrian din advise us to do any tests. He was confident that there is nothing wrong with us and that everything should work. Prior to that HB and i decided that if Dr asks us to do the test,we will.. else,we will just forget it cos it doesnt bring any comfort either. what we have decided to do is to adopt a even healthier lifestlye from now,pop the vits and do regular exercise to boost our health. meanwhile we decided that we shall spend quality time catching up with each other instead of focusing on TTC...

ddtan - if there is pressure from your own bro to seek a second opinion, i see no harm in doing it. if u decide not to and start to have regrets later on when thinking back, will it be worse? the decision lies in you n HB, i guess the mosts impt thing is not to have regrets later. do take care and hope that your bb's heartbeat will get stronger for a miracle.
 
Dear ddtan,

Here's the same message i posted in the March thread, unsure which thread you'd be reading...

"Hi ddtan,
I understand what your dh says about wasting money and hearing the same news again. That was what I was thinking when i had the option to go for a second opinion after 4 visits to dr wong and the sac and waterbag are not growing. Through the scan, it seems like there is a 4mm bb but doc is unsure if that's a bb or a shadow of the yolk sac. After the 4th visit, and 2 blood tests showing a drop in HCG level, doc is certain that bb is unhealthy and advised me to do a wash 4 days later. She gave me the test results and said I can seek second opinion with other docs. Though dh doesn't mind paying for second opinion for my peace of mind, i said no.

Reasons being i trusted my doc, i saw for myself the waterbag and yolk sac didn't grow for 2 weeks, even if the 4mm thing measured is really bb and not shadow, there is NO hb, moreover, HCG dropped and doc says it will not come up again. I tell myself that this is nature's way of being the gatekeeper, helping us keep watch to have a healthy bb. So I pinned a 1% hope in my final scan yesterday but mentally prepare myself for the 99% reality.

For your case, it's different from mine. You saw your bb's hb and your HCG isn't taken and from your posts, you don't seem to have complete trust in your gynae. Correct me if i'm mistaken. This should be a joint decision made by you and your hubby. Your hubby will pay for your peace of mind, i'm sure. Do update us on your decision. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst, my friend..."

Dear ddtan,
The bleed is not caused by us being not careful. It is not caused by something you have done or have not done. So don't be put down by what your mum said about you being not careful. So please don't blame yourself...

Dear Magenta88,
I'm still wondering if I should go do the chaodu thingy as well. Do you know when is the deadline?
 
aileen, magenta,sashamama,

Went down just now to see another gynae recommended for 2nd opinion. Same thing he said.... I am suppose to be week 8-9 by now based on LMP but bb size looks like only 6 weeks and not growing. Heartbeat can still hear but very slow... likely this bb is unhealthy and my body is trying to dispel out so that's why I am bleeding... eventually I will have a miscarriage if I wait...he just prepare me that if I bleed more suddenly and experience severe cramps then need to go down to see him immediately to wash out (likely bb miscarriage already).

So he feels to let me decide on when to wash out from now till weekend.
sob... think no chance for my bb now... It's probably time for me to let go....
kind of decided to wash out on Sat morning ... I am on training from Wed to Fri and company already paid a lot for the course... so have to go as much as I think I will not be able to concentrate much.

As I think on the journey to TTC again... age gap for my gal (now 3yrs old) will be greater and I will be getting older (going 35 soon) ...I hope hb and I can preserve on to have 1 more... sometimes, think maybe we are destined to have only 1 ....what if I m/s again ....
All my friends and colleagues ask me why u take so long to have 2nd one... sign...
 


Magenta88, u r welcome..

Sashamama, take care of urself, rest well! on pt 2, i took the 2 pills the nite before.. 10hrs before the op which was scheduled at 8am. i had bad experience on the pills, i had bad cramps n bleeding within 10mins n i couldn't sleep the whole nite.
 
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