Support group - Miscarriages

Hi bb08, I'm have been seeing the same gynae throughout, thinking that it will be better coz she has my previous records. however, thought of changing gynae should I intend to ttc in future. She's good, but probably 'not fated' with her.

All the best for your coming ttc project
 


kiwi, sorry about your loss. do take care, eat more bu stuff and rest well
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kitmom, like u, i started my ttc again. but didnt BD alternate days..only BD when i see mucus..temp is crazy - stagnant most of the time and went sky-high...almost impossible for me to interpret
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since u have a long cycle, could try to BD as late as CD20..?

Today is CD 23 for me, no symptom except for a series of diahorea and vomitting.. AF should come soon..but i hope it will come later after my trip..so troublesome to lug sanitary pad along..
 
Hi Ladies,
Thanks for your support.
I've read the symptoms of miscarriage... seems to gel in with what i am experiencing.
Moreover, i have a persistent dull pain in my lowerback which i thought was bec i did not sleep with the correct posture
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Sorry but can i check something - must the spotting be consistent or could it be just once or twice?

Hiaz... i'll see my gynae either today or tomorrow.... i've more or less mentally prepared myself for the worst news
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applemuffin,
ya... now i stop using my temperature too... make me frustrated only...and i can't wake up at 5.15am to take my temp on weekends (i wake up very early on weekdays for work)
my tcm give me something to bu and ask me to bd every 2 or 3 days in case not to miss the golden period... ya.... today is CD13.....i'll also take note of my mucus too....how long is ur cycle usually?
 
kitmom, my cycle for last mth was 29 days..pretty normal i think. the previous cycles were crazy..as long as 45 days..

BD alternative or 3 days once is ideal...but my problem is that we r either too tired, no mood to BD...plus me n hb both passive in BD..that makes it worse...
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promise myself to work harder next mth..cannot let each mth slips like that...sigh..

since u r CD13 today, should work harder these few days
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good luck! BFP soon...
 
hi tidal, not sure if the spotting needs to be continuous but it's best to quickly go see a doc. a friend had intermittent spotting and was given a jab and medication (duphaston i think) and also advised bed rest. she kept spotting every now and then throughout her pregnancy but with prompt medical consultation and treatment, she managed to carry her baby to full term. i hope all will turn out well for you too.
 
Hi lilipit dear,

So sorry for your lost. I had mine in late July 07. It is normal to be emtional outbursts. I am still having it after 1 month plus after my D&C.

I smile in front of my friends and colleauge, deep inside i am crying, still blaming myself for the lost. Small things my hubby do can trigger me to get emotional then start crying. When he gets insensitive, i will start crying.

Just now i cried again, cos my 1st mense came. If i am still very pregnant, i will not have mense. How's my baby? etc etc. Deep inside i do blame my hubby for my lost, cos he did not give me much support at all when i was pregnant. I was all alone.

Now i feel quite lonely. I will cry when i feel lonely. I guess i need more time to heal my heart. I don't talk much to my hubby cos he does not listen to me. He seems to get upset when i get emtional.

Do talk to your hubby about your feelings. Tell him to be extra sensitive during this time.

Take care dear
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Michelle Wright (mwright) ,

no. not the first AF. now me already 4th AF after DNC.we did try this month. but i keep on got brown discharge for abt a week liao.
 
Lilipit
i dun get emotional during that period...maybe its becos i'm staying with my mother and my DH was too busy to visit me... hence i got no chance to be temperamental... like stefie, my DH will also get angry if i am emotional...so i also didn't talk to him much..

Stefie
You spoke my words leh... always thinking how nice it is to have a baby piglet...hope i can conceive asap but afraid my extraction of wisdom tooth will affect it...

Gals
Have you encountered this situation before... like there's a group of colleagues talking and suddenly a colleague asked you when you intend to have bb....inside the group there's also a colleague who knows your MC thingy...and you still have to reply, "not so soon... blah blah blah"

So paisei and so sad, rite?
I just encountered this today...
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thanks alot for the words of encouragement and support <font color="0000ff">stefie and bb08</font> - i take comfort that i am not alone. Happily, I have calmed down better today, and hubby showed a gesture by buying some chicken essence for me today. ....
Have I told you? In my mind, I want to try again after AF cycle 1. Haven't told him yet. I'll need to bring it up gradually.

<font color="0000ff">bb08</font> - i am going back to work tomolo. So i expect to come across such situations very often. Cos some of my colls know, and some dont. I dread showing up at work tomolo.
 
Hi lilipit dear,

No worries. The 1st day back to office is not as bad as you think. Just tell them you had miscarriage and went on D&C. Nothing to hide at all (Provided you are comfortable enough).

It is better to be back to office then staying at home. Happy working
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Hi Kiwifruit & Lilipit,

Sorry to hear of your mc. Do take good care of yourselves so you can ttc soon.

Kiwifruit - hope the D&C went smoothly yesterday. Has your doctor explained the possible cause for 3 consecutive miscarriages? Perhaps you may want to seek a 2nd opinion.
 
Hi Piggy mummy,

I have not experienced brown discharge before AF comes (except after the D&C). I think you should check with your O&G to see if it is normal.
 
<font color="ff0000">michellewright</font> thanks. Is this your first AF after D&C? if u dun mind, can i ask how long did it take to arrive?

<font color="0000ff">stefie</font> - thanks. back in office now. So far, i think colls are empathetic - nobody ask...and boss seems to be going easy for a while. maybe cos i been away awhile. Yes I do prefer to be in office, than at home. Quite sian, at least work keeps me occupied.

<font color="119911">kiwifruit</font> - hope the procedure went okay, please rest well. Join us for a chat when u are better ok?
 
Hi Lilipit,

Unfortunately, this is my 2nd AF. Was hoping to get lucky after 1st AF. My 1st AF came 3.5 weeks after the D&C. It was relatively soon but I had not stopped bleeding/spotting after the D&C so it just carried on to the AF.
 
Hi lilipit dear,

please feel free to express your feelings here.
Ladies here are very helpful and nice.

Do remember to "bu". What i did was on confinement food for 2 whole weeks and red date water for whole month. No seafood (Like sotong, prawns etc)And i drank D.O.M before i sleep.

Take care. Have to take things easy now
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bb08 dear,

i also envy those with baby. So sad my 1st pregnancy ended in miscarriage.

Don't give up jia you together!!!!

For what you know you'll get pregnant real soon.
Relax okay!!! Do share good news with us soon
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For me i will only try after 6-8 months, cos i have planned my holiday till chinese new year
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hi piggy mummy,
i share the same brown discharge since i was on chlomid. are you taking chlomid too ?
For the pass 2 months i have this brown discharge for almost a week before my actual AF comes. Are you also the same ?
 
BellsBells,

me not in clomid. We ttc last month, but i having brown discharge since last week. I thought my AF come, but no. Actually mt last MC also like that, have brown discharge till Dnc. I think this time also same...Hope everything ok, but i already make up my mind liao, eventhough this time the ending is still same as lastime, will face it!
 
Dear Ladies,

Thanks for all your kind concern. I'm feeling alright after yesterday's D&C. Unlike the 2nd time, where I felt crampy for a few days after the episode. Do not intend to go on 'mini-confinement', will just avoid cold drinks and cooling stuff.


Michellewright- My gynae has not been able to provide any possible reasons for my miscarriages as the previous test done shows that everything was normal. Perhaps I should request for more extensive tests when I go back for review 2 weeks later.

I am also thinking of seeking a 2nd opinion at KKH. Does anyone know of a good gynae who specialises in cases like mine?
 
hi girls
sometimes it just comes back to me... Last week I had a terrifying dream, something like I have another "daughter" following me around - the one i lost recently in April 07. I thot i had let it go, but maybe subconsciously, I hadnt been as strong as I thot myself to be.

Today, my relatives visited, and one of them just very casually say tt it will be good that next child I have is a boy ( i have a 3yrs old girl). I smiled and said it is not up to me... but in my heart, I said I am not too sure if I will ever have another.

Very luckily for them, my frens ard never had a m/c before while I had 2. So I cannot blame them when all they can say is "never mind, at least you have 1 child already" or "can try again". But I felt as if I am very incompetance. In any case, when a 2nd m/c happens to me, no one in particular paid any attention. haha... maybe they think I shld be used to it.

HB, like most of those mentioned here, dislikes talking abt it cos he cannot handle emotional situations and too engrossed with work. In fact, he had never mentioned my second m/c at all and I think I still bear a grudge. I brought up the possibility of adoption, all he says is "crazy". But he is just trying to shut me up before it makes me cry i guess. Perhaps I needed a good cry... since d&c till now, I think I had tried very much to be strong and unaffected tt I forgotten to cry hard.

Maybe also well deserved cos the pregnancy wasnt planned and i hadnt been too over the moon with it. So god decided to help me by giving me a m/c.

Sigh... does it ever get out of our system? I have been pondering over thiss issue... a lot of mind wandering recently...supposed to be very pregnant now. I look at my maternity clothes sometimes, and I have added more since my first born...I only stopped when I had my m/c the second round...didnt think I will ever get another chance to wear them.

And everyday, i feel like a pre-programed robot void of thinking...cos no one likes to talk abt this. And even if i do bring it up, they try to hush me asap to "avoid making me miserable".

sorry folks, sound very depressing...in one of those moods...
 
Hi Linda,

Don't be sad.

I also feel like i am supposed to be very pregnant. Worst now cos i am having my 1st heavy AF after my D&C. Shouldn't be having mense when i was supposed to be very pregnant? How would i be like if i am very pregnant? How is my baby now? Why do i deserve all these? It is so unfair.

Yes by end of the day, life still goes on but I am still sad, not as cheerful as before. Like everyday is like hopeless. Food seems to tasteless, even my fav food. Nothings seems to cheer me up. My hubby seems not concern about me. I do feel like ending my life. So meaningless. The connection with my baby was very close. Now feel like crying......

Work wise, my coworker is so lousy, takes MC and off like nobody business. I have to cover her. She is partly the cause of my miscarriage. I really hate her so much.

I think i am depress now. Praying to God for help, cos cannot take it anymore
 
linda
feeling emotionally down for these few days..maybe i just went for my friend's bb girl 1 year birthday party... cannot dun go cos she's my best friend... meeting one of my best friend who is 3 months pregnant on this coming sunday... also cannot dun go... last nite, finally cannot control my emotion and cried in front of my DH...luckily, he comforted me this time round...i told him i felt like a failure that i MC but he told my his granny also MC the first time before carrying on to give birth to 11 babies... then i felt more relieved...

Stefie
i'm in no position to comfort you cos i'm also trying to get out of this depressing mood... I think we both shared similar experiences... No bb, first time MC, DH unconcerned, unhappy with colleague...

but we must not give up! For my 1st AF, i was looking forward to the ovulating date so i can ttc....then time goes faster ... but for the 2nd AF, I know i can't ttc cos i need to go for the wisdom tooth surgery so a bit frustrated and keep on thinking i want, i want , i want....
 
Linda, Stefie, bb08,

Please dont give up hope! I feel sad reading about how hard each of us are trying to cope with our grief, but we must try to lift ourselves out of it.

Easier said than done, yes i also thot of ending my life during those few days of my temper rage and emotional outbursts. And I also had very irrational thoughts ... asking myself alot of whys???

Is it cos of the black cat i tripped over ? (this is true - the timing happen to coincide around the time my bb stopped growing, but of course i know in my head, it is irrational, but in my heart, i kept thinking i shldnt have gone out that night after work).

Is it cos I told pple too early? (I am really sad abt this, cos someone actually said why did we tell pple of the pregnancy so early? It's almost as if they only want good news, and if it is bad news, they dont want to deal with it)
 
bb08 dear,

Just cried again yesterday cos my hubby asked me why i sent some many same SMS. This also trigger my emotions. He gets angry and said that's why nowsaday he dare not talk to me. Anything i will get angry and upset. Then i started crying........The way he say as if i am time bomb. He do feel guilty after that.

I also feel lousy......Why i have miscarriage? Why? alot of whys?

I think we can only do what can be changed. The rest, let nature takes its own cause. Maybe our 1st time is just a accident. Next one will be smooth all the way. Must think positive
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Good luck in BB making. Do share good shares with us soon
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Jia you!!! Jia You!!!!!
 
lilipit dear,

I also have lots of whys? Next time maybe just be more careful, not to go out to late. "Dirty things" are attracted to fetus. My malay friends advised me to bring small knife with me to protect from "Dirty things".

I think i will not tell anyone about my pregnancy next time. Cos pantan. Some will not tell until the belly looks very obvious.

Take care dear
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Hi Gals...

i know how we all feel here... do tink so much as is not healthy.... if you tink your body is ready... try again and we will make it this time.

ps: i miss my 2nd AF... hope i have good news..
 
I dunno which thread to go to.
trying to find topic for fetus no heart beat.
doctor already told me to go hospital when i bleed or feel pain.
I really dunno undertsand how they count, according to the chart i should be 8 weeks, but according to scan i m 5 weeks. I feel the scan is more accurate, as i think i m abt 4 weeks.
ok, the worrying thing is no heat beat.
going back next week to see again.
pls direct me to the thread on this topic.
or nobody talks about it here?
 
Hi Hopefully
Not to scare you, this is what happen to me for my second m/c. The foetus was dated much smaller than my actual date. However, the scan will be more accurate than dating (charting) cos sometimes, our ovulation is haywired hence resulting in a late conception date. So crossing my fingers for you that the second reason is why there is no heartbeat detected yet. U may PM me if you wish to know more.

Hi ladies
Yah, one of those days.
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Men simply dun understand our need to be sad, or they expect us to get over it fast.
Well, it might cheer you girls that after my 1st MC in April 03, I conceived my girl in June 03.

Maybe my body is not so strong, hence my recent mc this year. I think for my next one, I will not try in march...cos April seems cursed to me.

I agree that mostly we women get blamed...as if we wish it to happen... Cutting things, being near to "evil things", being careless.... some things are really not within our means! People goes "actually, you shouldn't xxxxx" I hate it.

Time might really do us good. Just a matter of how long.
 
HI I m new to this thread. I MC on Aug 16 on my week 20 n lost my twins bb boys....now having confinement....

My gynae asked me to try after 3-4 months...
 
My MC was no reason...as My twinnies are growing well, myself also no problem, but suddenly had some bleeding, the after 2 weeks the water bag bursed, then MC naturally. There was no pain no cramp during bleeding and water burse...only after that I had contraction for 3 nights and delivered my 1st BB in the morning, then followed by 2nd in the evening.

Due to BB too small, no survival chance at all. I can clearly see their faces, the were bigger then our palm, were little human bbs already.
 
Hi bbteng

I am sorry for your lost. Believe is not easy for you. I lost mine at 21weeks in June 07 also.. DId you get your gynae to check and see what the actual casue of this? Cos i had similar cases last Nov 06 also, waterbag bursted then have to deliver the bb at 17weeks. Only the recent MC, they found out is incompentent cervix... do check before you try again as if reali IC, cerclage can be done as chances is higher... Do take care and if you need someone to talk to, can come in here or msn me at [email protected]
 
Hi bbteng:
So sorry to hear about your loss. It must have been a painful and difficult period for u. Do share yr frustrations with us. Rest well.
 
Dear bbteng

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. Please take good care of yourself and may Faith help you to get through this difficult phase.
 
Hi bbteng,

I am very sorry to learn about the loss of your twins. I can imagine how heartbreaking it was for you to deliver them. Do stay strong and nurse yourself back to good health so you can start to ttc again in a few months time.
 
Hi Hopefully,

My recent second pregnancy ended up as a missed abortion (i.e., foetus had no heartbeat).

The doctors start counting from the first day of your last period before conception, so by the time you actually ovulate, it would already be 2-3 weeks! When you begin to test if you are pregnant, you would already be about 4-5 weeks pregnant, although it may be only a few days since you missed your period.

My baby was a lot smaller than the norm (the scan calculates how old the foetus is based on the size) so mine was a week behind based on the scan.
 
HI there, thanks for the concerns & supports!

I am hoping to walk out from the sadness when time goes by...as life will go on...will always pray for my twinnies that live peacefully in the heaven.

After the D & C, when will be the next mensus come? I have no idea of what am I going to do after muy confinement...
 
bbteng

Your next menses should come between four to six weeks after your D&C, but you may ovulate as early as two weeks after the procedure.

Take your time to get over this grieving period and try again when you are emotionally ready. Take care
 
Thanks kiwifruit...

I did D&C on Aug 17 to clear the placenta left inside the womb. Then having the bleeding since then and subsiding with very little brownish stains until it really clear on Sept 4. But I have the brownish discharge again this morning. I dont know whether this is normal?
 
Hi Angela, I dont think mine was caused by IC because when i 1st had the slight bleeding on my week 17, gynae said the cervix still closed. Then I didnt have any cramp at all. Just as usual but with the brownish discharge on going.

After that I discharged from SGH, after 2 days, it became reddish bleeding with no cramp, I admitted for a week there, everything seems normal except with 1 placenta low for my twin#1, my boys were normal. Then discharged.

Again, after 2 days, 1 of my water sacs burst, cervix still closed, but gynae advised me to abort. I insisted to wait. But the hole didnt heal up and my 1st boy died after 2 days with less amnionic fluid but the 2nd boy still normal.

So I waited for miracle to come. My 1st boy still in the womb. After 2 days, on my week 20, i delivered the 1st bb when i pass urine in the toilet. That time my 2nd bb still alive in the womb. Unfortunately, when dr scan the bb in the afternoon, it stopped. I delivered him out in the evening when I pass urine in the toilet again...

I really cant understand what has happened to me...since everything were ok and it all happened so sudden.

As few days b4 my m/c, the ultrasound still showing BBs at good condition, and saw the lovely faces ever...
 
Hi bbteng

Somex doctor just cant explaine what is the cause of our mc... old folks will say bb is not healthy thats y we have mc etc... sighz... watever it is, have faith and i am sure you will have another want soon..
 
Hi bbteng,

The off and on brown discharge after the D&C is normal. I had that for 3 weeks until my AF came. I called my O&G at the time to check and the clinic assured me this was normal so you do not have to worry about the discharge.
 
Dear bbteng,

i am sorry to hear your loss. me lost my baby when i was 21 weeks. Please take good care of yourself..glad to know that you are doing confinement now, its really important to take care and nurse back our health..

angela,
hope to hear some good news from you. you so fast ttc??me thinking of next year then try..have to be strong both body and heart..
 


hi ladies, been some time since i logged in. i can't keep up with the posts, but would like to put in a little prayer for the little angels here.

I am currently in 23rd week with my identical twins.. as u may remember they developed twin blood tranfusion problems 3 weeks ago. it has sort of stabilised but still risky. bbteng, i know how it feels for u cos the thought of losing them just comes at me everyday. Need whatever prayers I can to get through.

For those of you ttc-ing, good luck.

angela, saw ur story on ST and i can't help but cry cos i also had a singleton followed by current twin pregnancy. i know it is very tough, but we are not about to give up. So musn't you.
 
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