Support group - Miscarriages

[snuffles]

Hi Silk,
I feel so much better just reading your post. Thanks so very much! I'm happy that things have normalised for you and that you feel ready to TTC soon. I was very worried about my uterus because I had a natural miscarriage and did not undergo D&C. When I tried to book a follow-up u/s scan, I was told there was a long waiting list. So for weeks I felt jittery on ends. I managed to catch my 1st ovulation abt 2.5 weeks after the m/c and my 1st AF came exactly 14 days later - that made me so relieved I cried for an hour after. So right now I feel that I am ready to try again.

Best of luck to the both of us!

Hi Folic,
How have u been? I am feeling much better. It has been quite an emotional ride but I feel it's made me a better mum-to-be. I was re-reading your posts earlier about your feelings after seeing the babies around town and it made me want to give u a hug so badly. There is a pair of cute bb twins (a boy and and a girl) living across my street and I find myself looking out for them and staring blatantly.

 

[shirubia]

Hi snuffles. I agreed with you. By losing my 1st gal will definitely made me a better mum in the future. I don't really like childeren last time until I lost mine. Nowadays I tend to look at pregnant women & envy them and/ or look at babies & I yearn for 1 myself. My hubby knows I have such habit now & he likes to distract me back to the reality. Sigh. Will be going to Tokyo for a short break during Easter week. Need it desperately.

 

[folic]

Hi snuffles,

I am fine..such moods come and go!

As you can tell from my previous posts, I too have the habit of staring at babies these days and wondering how old they are etc! haha

I agree with you and silk. The experience has made me want to be a better mum. I think my hubby also wants to be be a better dad. When we first broach the subject of babies, he was the less enthusiastic one. Now, he is more 'enagaged'

hi java, how's your concert?

ok, back to work on a monday morning. Take care everyone!

folic

 

[shirubia]

yeah folic. my hubby tends to take pregnancy for granted last time. to him everything would run smoothly. but after our incident, he is more concern & more 'kan cheong' now. haha. all i can say is that we learnt & grew a lot for the past 2 mths. we grew closer too! i saw another side of my hubby which i never see before & it touches me deeply. i think u gals will experience the same as me. am i rite?

 

[folic]

Hi Silk, you are right. My hubby and I have definitely become closer after the incident and it is a blessing in disguise as well. I am a very independent sort of person who thinks that I can solve everything by myself. After the incident, I realised the importance of being able to have someone else to rely upon and to have shoulder to lean on.

folic

 

[shirubia]

Yip Folic. Same here. I thought I'm very independent too until my baby passed away. Thank God my hubby is there to comfort me, cry together with me...don't reckon I can go through this difficult period alone.

 

[java]

Hi gals,
I'm so happy today. Received my variable bonus of 2.6 months. I intend to tender on Thursday.

folic,
The concert was fabulous. I even get to take photo with the violinist and composer. Regarding as to why my mum wants me to see a gynae, she's worried since I've been trying for some time already, so just ask me to do a checkup.

 

[bbchic]

waaaaa..
java...2.6mths..that's fabulous at this kind of economy...i also tendering....hehe..actually tender today..but letter dated wednesday...very happy too! i found a slightly relaxing job at half my current pay..hee

folic, silk,
i think my hubby was more upset than me for the M/C. and he is "taking care" of this one now. he actually told my gynae he couldn't take it, and was very agitated, so i spent more time consoling him...keke

 

[poohy]

gals,

I got a chemical pregnancy which resulted in miscarriage last weekend. Faint positive through the last week on hpt and temperature dropped by thursday. We rushed to the gynae on Friday as I was spotting. On Saturday, my AF came. I dunno whether u call that AF. Anyway its very heavy flow.

my GP gave me 2 days MC due to the heavy flow. Just wanna check with anyone who may have similar experience, how long will the AF flow ?

 

[folic]

Hi Java,

so cool! 2.6 months is a lot! At first, when I saw the preview of the messages and saw 2.6, I thought you were annoucing your preg!

Anyway, it is still good news! Glad you enjoyed your concert too.

Hi poohy, sorry to hear about your loss. I am not sure how long the AF will be, but I think maybe about 1-2 weeks? Take care!

folic

 

[folic]

Hi bebechic,

how are you getting along? Hope you are feeling well

Take care and do update us of your progress!

folic

 

[shirubia]

Hi poohy. Perhaps u would like to visit ur gynae for an ultrascan & checkup. My friend was given 1 wk mc for her 1st trimester miscarriage. How r u feeling? Ok?

 

[java]

hi bebchic, folic,
Although 2.6 months is alot, but I've been having a pay cut of 5% for the past few months. So to me, this bonus is to cover up for the lost.

folic,
2.6 months pregnant? wierd figure for pregancy. Though I also wish leh.

 

[poohy]

silk,

called my gynae yesterday and he asked me to go and see him on friday. So now, I am still on MC. However the flow is very heavy though its the 4th day. Even though I always have the problem of heavy flow, never so much. So I am just concerned when it will start to be lesser. I am going to back to work tomorrow, such heavy flow makes me very nervous.

Other than that, the cramp is over. Now I am just waiting for the miscarriage to be complete (as in the flow to stop lor).

Think my gynae wanna check this friday to ascertain whether its ectopic, chemical preg, etc.

thanx for all your concern!

 

[folic]

Hi java,

yah.. it is indeed strange to count by decimal place for preg..

I was just being hopeful for you mah! Jia you jia you! I also have miserable pay increase this year. I told my boss that the only way for me to make back the pay is to go on a 6 months paid maternity leave

hoping.. wishing.. haha!

poohy, rest well. If you feel uncomfortable going back to work, why not rest till end of week?

folic

 

[gladdy]

Hi Poohy
Have similar case as you
How to check if its chemical or etopic?

 

[poohy]

gladdy,

I also am wondering how they check. I will let u know once I go to see my gynae this friday. Think shd know by then.

Though I am even more interested to know what cause the miscarriage. A bit phobia that the next one will result in this again. I have PCOS and dunno whether it has anything to do with it.

 

[java]

hi poohy,
Wat is chemical pregnancy?

Hi folic,
Wah u must be very close to your boss, can actually tell him/her to let u go on a 6 months paid maternity leave.

Past few weeks I had a terrible cough and flu which lasted 3 weeks to almost a month. I lost quit abit of weight. Now, I'm just 3kg from my pre-pregnancy weight. But recently, I've been on a eating spree, coz a few ppl gave me dinner treats. Last Sunday, I ate at 60th floor of UOB Plaza, called Sichuan Dou Hua Restaurant. Just now my colleague gave me Hazelnut ice-cream to eat. Now I feel positively fattening!!!

 

[poohy]

java,

chemical pregnancy is one that is confirmed by biochemical test like blood test or urine test but not yet confirmed by clinical signs like ultrasound. I think so lah.

 

[tiny]

Hi Poohy,
Just take these few days to rest well. The bleeding will soon stop, a friend of mine had a similar case, and she didn't even know what had happened until she saw her doc cos her bleeding for that month seemed extra heavy.

Java/Gladdy, this site has some useful info on the technical stuff like blighted ovum, chemical pregnancy & ectopic pregnancy. hope it helps

http://preconception.com/resources/articles/understandingloss.htm

 

[curly]

Hi

I had spotting yesterday and was admitted. My gynae did a D&C this afternoon. Now I am staying at my mum's for a couple of days.

I have been very upset... I did so much crying today....

 

[folic]

Hi curly,

sorry to hear about your loss! It is normal for you to cry and feel lost. Take your time to heal emotionally. Come in often and chat with us. I am sure you will feel better soon.

folic

 

[folic]

Hi Java,

yah, me and boss are very close. He is like my big bro.

This evening, I went to see a chinese physician. The reason why I went was to treat my very aching shoulders. I think too much typing. Anyway, the first thing he did was to feel my pulse. At this point, he does not yet know why I am seeing him. The first thing he asked was whether my menses was regular. I said that it is irregular at times. Then he asked how long I have been married and whetehr I was preg b4. I said that I had miscarriage last year. He nodded and said that my kidneys are weak and I shoudl strengthen it before my next preg. He also says that I should rest in bed in the first trimester. So, he gave me some medcine and I decided to take it. I told my mum about it and she says chinese physician always say teh same thing and she thinks I should not take it. But I have already taken it before I spoke to her, so I decide to continue for the next 2 days. I see the doc again on Thurs evening.

I am just amazed how he can tell what is wrong just by hearing my pulse!

folic

 

[gladdy]

Hi Tiny
Thks for sharing, seems like not much way to prevent such things to happen

Hi Poohy
I have no courage to try after that "incident" recently have tried to sweep off those unhappiness & try again
Didn't want to think so much abt it
Take care

 

[snuffles]

Hi Silk and Folic,
I feel the same way you do! I think the incident has made me more aware of how important family is (tends to skip my mind since I've been away from home for so long) and I'm definitely more conscientious to my parents now. Also, career is now second place.

I've also found that my relationship with hubby is on a "deeper" plane - if u know what i mean? The loss we've shared has strengthend our bond.

Silk, enjoy Tokyo! Am also planning on a trip this Easter just to get away from the babies here.

Hi Poohy, Gladdy and Curly,
So sorry to hear about your losses. Please take good care and give yourselves time to heal.

 

[shirubia]

Hi snuffles. same here. career to me is not the main priority now. i just want to have kids & stay at home & take care of them. huge change from last time. haha.

Hi Poohy, Gladdy & Curly. Don't give up ok!!! Do nourish your body back.

 

[berrywife]

curly, I'm really sorry for your loss

BTW, how come the doc did D & C just because of spotting? Did he elaborate on anything else? Was your spotting v bad or just a little?

 

[curly]

Thanks girls for your support!

berrywife, when I had my first appt with my gynae last Friday, he told us that the waterbag is very small. I thought I was almost 7 weeks but he thought should be 4 or 5 since it was so small. So he said either I ovulated late or it wasnt growing. I did a BHCG blood test then and was supposed to have another one on Tuesday, which the result should be 4 times more.

It was like a death sentence! Having to have to wait for those few day.... I was very stressed, upset and scared. On Monday morning, I was in a very distrubed mood and my boss stressed me so much that I broke down! After lunch, I discovered the spotting (just a little) and I had to tell my boss abt it. Then I rushed to my gynae. He scanned and still could see the waterbag only.... He suggested to admit me and wanted me to have complete bed rest. I went to have another BHCG blood test...

On Tuesday morning, he came to see me and asked if my breasts felt softer? I was like, the same but not any firmer or sore.... I think I could tell from his facial expression. Later he called my hubby and told him the not so good blood test result and my hubby went to see him. When my hubby came back, he showed me the result and it didnt double, it was a mere increase of like 300... Hence, my gynae suggested D&C so that he could find out the cause... I am seeing him on Friday.

 

[poohy]

Curly
sorry to hear about your loss. Do take care.

 

[java]

hi curly,
Like what folic says, come in and talk to us more often. Be strong!! Such trials can be very traumatising. Take this as a test to the human spirit and grow stronger from the experience. Will be praying for you.

hi folic,
Yes. Those experienced chinese physician can tell the state of your health from your pulse and tongue. I think kidneys are related to the reproduction system, coz my physician always ask me if my bowel movements are ok, the condition of my faeces, etc (sorrie to be gross here)

 

[soyabean]

hi curly...
sori to hear of ur loss... dun think too much of wat happened... its difficult... must must keep telling urself dat no use hanging onto wat has happened.

look ahead and build up ur body now. tis will make u a stronger person and i'm sure u will be stronger when u start conceiving again.

one more thing... NEVER blame urself for wat happened. its natural for us to blame ourselves when such incidents occur. there is absolutely nothing wrong wif ur body... tis is jus nature's way of stopping any abnormal pregnancy.

be strong... we are all here for u.

hi gals...

hehee.... hvnt popped into here for sometime. How are all of u doing?

i know its hard for some of u as u keep thinking of the past and stuff... well, u r not alone here, for me, i still think of my lost one now and then. if not of wat happened, i wld be doing confinement at tis time. but i hv to keep diverting myself from tis thot and tis mks me treasure the little one in my tummy even more. and i think my lost one will bless and protect me and my bb.

 

[bbchic]

hi curly,
sorry about wat happen. be strong yah. its not a nice experience for all of us but i believe we will be able to appreciate our love ones and future bb even more. take time to rest and build up your body!

hi poohy,
same goes to you. i believe you are given 2 days MC because you dun have to go thru D&C. some gals dun even know they miscarried if they dun keep track of their menses. because pregnancy get washed out naturally like menses. in some cases gynae may suggest you go back for a D&C to clear out anything in the womb.. then you will need 1 week MC.

 

[linda_thea]

Hi Curly,
Take this time to rest well and "pu" your body. Chicken essence and food cooked with ginger and wine is good. In the meanwhile, dun think abt what went wrong. It is just one of those things that happen. I guess to all of us here, it made us stronger with our hubbies and we will treasure future babies more.

Hi Poohy,
Natural miscarriage will take longer, since there was no clearing (or some call washing) out of the womb. For me who had a d&c, my menses lasted only less than 4 days.

Hi girls,
Hope you all are fine. Emotions can be tough for you girls sometimes... talk to people about it. I wish I can come in more, but Vic is taking up a fair bit of time and my PC is down (AGAIN). Let me know how are u all doing.

 

[millie]

hi poohy and curly, i m so sorry to read abt ur loss. i experienced both natural miscarriage and d&c. understand the pain u r going through now. pls don't be too dispair. important thing is for us to rest well and stay positive. i too hv fear of future pregnancy but i will definitely try again. no try no baby rt?

hi gals, long time no talk. i hv been coming in at times to read but didn't post anything. went for my checkup abt 2 wks ago and doc gv me the green light to try again. i m excited but of course, there is also fear esp since we have already done the testings and all seems to be ok.
and it's true tt the bond btw hubby and me much stronger now esp since he's the only one who knew abt my last miscarriage. so treasure who we have around us, be happy and hope all of us will be blesses soon!

 

[curly]

Thank you again girls for your encouragement! I suppose this is life and we have to look forward and not backward! I cant wait to try for another one but I suppose I have rest my womb first....

If you girls can come to terms with it, I can too!!!

 

[gladdy]

Hi millie
can share with me wht did the gynae told u that causes your previous cases?

 

[berrywife]

curly, that's the spirit! Just tell yourself, at least this means you CAN conceive, and as soon as you get enough rest and nourishment, you can try again. Better than plenty of women who can't conceive no matter what they do, right?

 

[millie]

gladdy,

the gyane didn't state the reasons exactly. for both cases, i hv blighted ovum (no foetus in the sac). he did tests for hubby and me after the 2nd time and we both tested positive for infections (mine in the urine and his in his sperms). gynae said tt this cld be a reason. and gv us medication. did another re-test and we both hv negative now.

still, it remains unknown if the infections caused the blighted ovum or there are some reasons. but the gynae said tt the tests done for us are those tt can be cured. so, he ask us not to think too much and be positive and go ahead with ttc if we want to have kids.

hope this helps.

 

[java]

Hi all,
Today I just submitted my resignation. Hope to conceive soon.

To all baby angels in heaven waiting to come to earth, I have a womb available, I will be waiting for you ...

 

[snuffles]

Hi Java,
That is a really courageous thing u did. Are u job hopping or have u decided to focus ur efforts on conceiving? U made me smile with ur words to the angels - I hope u will have good news to share with us soon.

Hi Millie,
Can I ask what made ur gynae suspect infections? Am happy for u that u are now given the all clear - lots of good luck to u too!

 

[java]

Hi all,
Still remember last time I told you I have a colleague who just gave birth? Now she tell me she is planning for a second one, and just went for pregnancy test and is waiting for results. Wah, when I heard of that, really feel very stress. Some gals are just so fortunate.

Hi Snuffles,
I hope so too!

 

[stylobb]

java
I come in here once a while to read your postings and think you all are a great bunch.
I still have the book I wanted to share with you... if you want it, please email me.

 

[java]

Hi stylobb,
Thanks for your offer anyway. Wow, I din't know got ppl keep track of my postings. Maybe I can be a writer.

Maybe when I'm not working, I will write a book on Singapore Pregnancies after Loss. Then I will pen down emotions and struggles of you gals here. When I sell the book, u all must support me okie?

 

[gladdy]

Hi Millie
So go for urine test can test it? So by medication can cure?
So is infection the main cause for this to happen
Thanks for sharing hope to hear good news from you cos you are "Approved" to start production

Hi Jave
Don't be affected by it, your turn will COME

 

[millie]

java, that is a gd idea! writing a book on pregnancy loss. think most s'poreans are unaware of the causes and pains we go through. i am so angry nowadays whenever i watch tv and they potray a lady miscarried cos of stress, a fall, etc (all self-caused reasons). *sigh*

i wish u luck in baby making and i truly hope tt the angels will hear our prayers.

snuffles and gladdy, i don't think the gynae suspected that infections caused the blighted ovum. instead, he made us go through the tests available that can check for some reasons that caused miscarriage. (for woman - blood and urine, for man - sperm test) and see if we have any abnormality in any of the areas. his main concern was that i have this 'antibotic' substance in my blood that will view foetus as a foreign object and attack it.

anyway, besides the infections, the rest came back normal. and the type of infection can be cured by medication. so, if it's not the infections, it will forever remain a mystery why both pregnancies didn't succeed. but gynae just asked us to go ahead and try again. so, we intend to try again. hope the angels hear my thoughts!

hope all of us will hv gd news soon but in the meantime, have a gd wkend ahead. i feel like watching the christ movie. anyone catching it?

 

[poohy]

gladdy, all

I went to see my gynae this morning. Had a urine test and a vaginal u/s scan. The urine test still show faint positive (its been like this for the last 2 weeks liao). And the scan show nothing in the uterus. My gynae is worried that it may be ectopic pregnancy... so I got to take a blood test today and next monday to see whether its dropping...

just a qn, for u gals, when does your hcg start to drop or how long did the positive register ? I duno why its still positive since I already had my bleeding for the past 7 days already and currently the bleeding is already very light.

 

[soyabean]

hi poohy....
for me, i didnt do a blood test... cos for my case, it was the heartbeat dat has stopped... so it was obvious the pregnancy no longer there... and next day i went thru d&c.

 

[millie]

poohy,

i think it's possible to hv slight positive for urine test. remember linda mentioned before that when she tested for her 2nd pregnancy, her GP told her that her slight positive urine test cld be a left over 'residue' from the miscarriage and not a pregnancy.

but if the hcg level remains high, it's likely to be an ectopic pregnancy. but u had been bleeding and so i don't think the chance is high.

of course, best to wait for gynae to confirm. will pray that it's not ectopic. do update us.

 

[curly]

Hey girls, I went back to the gynae yesterday for review. Was told that it was a dead fetus! I suspected by the time I was tested positive (at almost 6 weeks), it was already dead..... The BHCG showed it was at the 5th week stage.

I am to see my gynae in a month's time. He suggested some tests to be run on us to find out the possible reasons.

Meanwhile he had given me another 3 weeks hospitalisation leave to rest. I was also given multi vitamins to strengthen my womb.

I am still quite emotional.... One minute, I would be crying my eyes out, the next minute, I would be ok.... My gynae suggested I see a counsellor to help me cope with my grieve.

By the way, can someone tell me when this bleeding will stop? I am still getting brown stain. And this morning, I discovered small bumps like rashes on both sides of my inner thighs.... I think it's bec of the sanitary pads....

 

[tiny]

Hi Curly,
I bled for a few days after my D&C and spotted for about 2 weeks in all. Wasted a lot of money on pads! So don't worry, it will stop, only a matter of time. In fact, after that you'll be hoping for your period to come (so ironical) and that may be in about 5-8 weeks' time.

It's important to recover emotionally I think. Only recently realised that perhaps I never really did, just wanted to get on with life quickly, which is why I've been getting pretty upset lately. or could also be becos my AF just came visiting last night and so the whole week i've been feeling so emotional

By the way, a very close friend just got pregnant. I'm so happy for her (teared in joy when i heard her good news!) it almost felt that i was the one who striked! And how I wished i was successful this time cos i really hoped that we could have our babies grow up together.

Anyway my hubby suggests we go and see our gynae. i've been 'avoiding' him since last Dec cos it was too stressful. But now i think must do something already! What do u think?