Support group - Miscarriages

Snuffles,
I don't have the exact address but it is at Balestier Road near the Guan Yin temple. The herbs are brewed fresh and have to be taken within a week. Don't think you can stock up. A weekly consultation is necessary cos the medicine is brewed fresh.

Millie,
Yes they do treat males. They may request that you have a report for your husband's sperm count if they need it.The gynae doesn't do acupuncture but there is a separate doctor who does that. Mayb they may refer you to him/her if you need it.
 


Hihi linda,
CONGRATS!!!!!!!!
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we are all so happy for you!!! remember to share victoria's story and pic with us!! and we hope to hear more on the way!!!
 
Hi snuffles & millie. went to see the Dr Kowa today. too anxious. felt so good after seeing him.
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I'm actually ovaluting now & muscus is a bit browish. He told me nothing alarming. Phew. Thanks for your comments!

BTW snuffles...did u try DOM afterall?
 
Congrats Linda!!! Glad all went well! Yours is indeed a success story which needs to be publicised in this thread to inspire all of us.
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Anyway girls, just to let you know that it's not happening again...AF came today.
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I think i'm not disappointed cos lately have been feeling like not much hope leh..(ie, low expectations = less disappointment...like a self-defence mechanism) dunno why. Thinking maybe it isn't the right time or work too stressful or just that God is trying to tell me to leave it to Him and stop trying to take things into my own hands? That I'm too actively trying, and that I should let go a little and trust that a baby is His gift and not my 'doing'? I dunno.

Those of you who are Christians, would you have any views on this? (don't mean to offend anyone by bringing in religion, but i;ve been struggling with this ths past few months after my m/c)

PS: If anyone feels offended or that I shouidn't post this here, pl let me know & I'll start a new thread. Just that I would like to have some opinions from those i trust here.
 
Hi millie, Snuffles,
the address is 563 Balestier Road. You take Bus 139, 145 from Novena MRT. The medicine is very bitter, I stop my breathe and gulp it all down.

Hi Tiny,
Having to try again especially after a loss can be very stressful. We do not know God's Plan for us, what we can do is to continue to pray and have hope. Relax, take your mind off baby making, instead enjoy love making and intimacy with your hubby. Whenever you pray, ask Him to give you patience. Why don't you take up a hobby or try something new? Don't worry about offending anyone, we are hear to listen and advice and most importantly to support.
 
Thanks, Java. Although i think i've 'moved on' and generally stopped thinking of the m/c and the "why give and then take away?" kind of questions, i do still fall into it once in a while. Much as we try to 'stop thinking about it' and 'let nature take its course', it's not easy to really put this whole issue of 'trying' aside. yes, lovemaking & intimacy, we can relax & enjoy. but because of the heightened sense of awareness that the ultimate hope is for a baby, there is always this underlying issue...you know, like a hidden agenda kind of thing? The more you try to push it aside, the more you are aware of it. It's like, i tell myself, OK, we won't let it dictate our sexual life! We'll just enjoy each other's company and if it happens, it happens. But suddenly when you find yourself having EWCM, it's like, quick! quick! cannot waste the chance! if not must wait for another 1 1/2 months! then the whole cycle starts again...take temp, observe CM, etc.etc... and when it fails... tiring, man!

You are right. We really do not know God's plan, and that's where i find myself the most challenged. I think God is telling me to let Him take over, to let Him bless me with His child in His own time. And here I am, trying to control my own life, to time it such that i get the child i so badly want asap, to fit into MY own plans...that's where the struggle is.
 
Hi Linda,
Congrats!!! Can't wait to hear your success story.

Hi Java, Helen,
I'm actually interested to see a chinese physician, but not too sure whether should i go as my menses is considered regular since D&C in Dec. My fren introduce one in Jurong East but dun feel like going cos need to go early to take no. to see her, heard that she's very good in treating infertility.

Hi Tiny,
I'm a Christian too. Like what java said we really don't know God's plan for us, but I think we must learn to trust Him. When m/c really happen on me, i used to blame Him for giving us the gift and took it away, it happen during Christmas and it make things even worst. But I've learn to accept it and ask Him for forgiveness, there's a reason why He do this, maybe is not the right time and He has got better plan for us. I didn't seek Him during my last pregnancy, things happen and since then i seek Him more and learn to trust Him and hence brought me closer to Him. Maybe this is the way Our Lord wants to bring us closer to Him and entrust all things onto His Hand. I know the struggle you are going through, i experienced it too. I want a baby so badly but everythings seems not within my control, hubby and I tried so hard last cycle but AF caught me few days ago. I think meanwhile we just have to try every cycle in a relax manner, forget abt temp taking...just enjoy making love. When time is right for us, God will bless us the gift. So Tiny, dun give up, remember Our Lord will not forsake us when we have faith in Him. Trust the power of prayer.
 
Hi silk,
so glad ur doc said it's okay. At least now u know for sure u've started ovulating again! I couldn't find DOM after searching Chinatown for 1 hour but my MIL has sent a boxful of chix essence with Donggui so I'm taking that daily.
 
ecbaby,
I heard about the Chinese Physician at Jurong too. It was too far away from my house so I din go.My menses was also very regular after my D&C (it has always been).I went to the physician to take medicine to nurse myself back to health and boost my fertility. Afetr the D&C, it is believed that we have lost a lot of 'qi'. To me, the medicine is not exactly bitter but a bit 'kam kam'. You should tell the physician that you are TTC if you are. Then, she will prescribe herbs that will not harm the foetus.
 
Hi Tiny. I guess God is testing our faith & trust in Him. Over the weekend, a senior leader was sharing with us that there're some cult groups around praying for destruction of families!!!! How horrible!!!! And I'm thinking mine maybe one of their successful prayers! Argh!!!! Sigh. Well if we move on and continue to place our faith & trust in our powerful & righteous God, He will see & be touched. Don't give up. God has a reason to take away our little ones. We may know the reason in the future or we may not until we go to Heaven. Till then, continue to trust Him. Not to worry, I'm not offended by what you wrote. I shared the same views with you then. So sad. Now I prayed for His forgiveness & understanding why I'm so angry with Him then.
 
morning gals!
I am not a christian, but i believe things happen for a reason. maybe its not time, maybe it occurs to make you realise how important life is, and to make you treasure the one after. cannot blame anyone for this.

snuffles, your MIL very nice, Dang gui is good for women. so chix ess with that is good for you!!
 
hi ladies

i need yr advise.. i was here late last yr 2 share bout my m/c in july. has since TTC and more or less accepted the loss.

a couple of wks back, i realise i'm pregnant, went 2 gynae at 5 wks, scan n saw e tiny waterbag, which is a good sign then. however, my last visit, supposedly at 7 wks, i only c a bigger waterbag n e yolk, but no heartbeat. doc say maybe delay, ask me to go back next wk.

i feel totally lost since monday, came here and read millie's comments, it looks like i'm like her case. am i suppose 2 prepare myself 4 e worst? i feel that i can't take it anymore, i've no room to feel positive at all.

can some1 tell me what i should do...
 
cookies,
don't worry. linda who just gave birth on monday. she didn't get to see her baby's heartbeat until like 9 weeks from LMP at least now you can see the yolk. your gynae have not told you that this is a bad sign. its could be made late. so do wait for the next gynae check up then confirm. we will all hope the best for you! cheer up abit.
 
Hi cookies,

you have no ohter symptoms right? Perhaps your dr is righ, just need to wait for a while more. Try to stay positive although I know it's tough. Take care!

folic
 
i've no other obvious threatening symtons. m still having the normal symtons of pregnancy except nauseous, but tummy feels funny, sometimes seems ok, sometimes not.
i really find it tough 2 stay positive this time round.. feels tired.
 
cookies...
dun keep thinking of negative... and yeah it will not be easy like wat folic said....

then again... nausea not a good indication... cos some women dun feel nausea until they are abt 6 or 8 weeks... or some wont even hv it at all thru-out pregnancy.
 
Hi cookies,

wat do you mean by tummy feels funny? Is it a cramp like sensation which you get just before menses come? My gynae says that is a sign that the uterus is expanding to accomodate the baby. I had that till almost 7-8 weeks...

folic
 
hi bebechic, soyabean n folic
thanks for the positive encouragement.

folic,
its sort of tt kind of feeling, but i thot i also felt like that when i had my m/c e last time. that's my greatest worry now.
 
hi cookies,

btw, i don mean to say that the crampy feeling caused my miscarriage.. I carried my baby till 23 weeks. Don't worry too much.. all symptoms can mean one thing or another.. just have to have faith that your baby will be alright.

folic
 
cookies,
pls dun gv urself too much stress worrying. it may be a case tt u hv counted ur cycle wrongly. i know it's hard but try to stay positive okie! do keep urself busy and occupied. i find tt it helps me stop thinking so much.

tiny, i am not a christian but i believe that there is a God. i still feel sad at times but i truly believe that He may have some reason to delay me becoming a mother. i would definitely want to try again soon but i do have the same concern as u hv - that we will just be concentrating on ttc. i guess it's a balance we need to find. it will not be easy though. *sigh*

helen, thks so much for info. do i need to make appt or do i just go down?
 
hi Tiny,
I could totally relate to all your comments of the "hidden agenda". Like what ecbaby said, never lose faith and trust in Him. We must remember that there are many other ppl less fortunate than us.

Actually I have plans to quit my job next month to take up some light courses and to do the things I like. Of course there's the "hidden agenda" too!

Hi Snuffles,
Dangui will do the job as well. DOM maybe too heaty. When I took DOM during my confinement, it was ok, but after that it was very heaty.

hi millie,
u dun have to make appt, go on Sunday afternoon instead of Sat, coz less crowded.
 
Hi gals,
Thanks for all the words of encouragement.
Baby Vic is home and torturing her mum....
The birth is relatively easy and fast considering the fact I went in at 11+ and gave birth at 4.11pm. I had happy-dural of course and that makes life so much easier. I could even joke with the doc and my hubby after that.

Hi cookies,
Whatever it is, you have to be positive and at the same time prepared. Tell yourself it is a gift but sometimes we never know when this gift will be taken from us. I had a m/c and only one menses after when I got preggie with Vic again. The first appt at 5 weeks (supposedly) showed an EMPTY uterus. 2nd appt one week later showed a sac. 3rd appt 3 weeks later then I saw heartbeat. So I was abt 9 weeks b4 I saw the tiny heart pumping away. LMP is never accurate lor....cos our body dun work like clock...So you keep positive and dun worry first okie?
 
Hi Silk,
yeah, my MIL is really nice. But she likes to "mother" too much and I find that suffocating! Maybe that's why hubby has escaped from S'pore for so long.

Hi Linda,
good of u to drop us a line. Sounds like it was a good experience - great encouragement for the rest of us! So who does baby Vic look like?

Hi cookies,
I know it's hard to hold a flagging spirit but u have to tell urself that u can do it. I think the girls here have given u very good advice so do try not to read too much into each detail of the pregnancy. And I think that praying helps (even if one is agnostic).
 
Hi Linda. I'm very happy for you. Please take good care of yourself & your baby! Do post a picture of you & your baby up here soon. Thanks.
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Hi Tiny,

I was re-reading what you wrote previously and cant help smiling about the hidden agenda and how we 'don let go' any chance/opportunity to make baby! :D My colleague was just telling me about her sister in law. The SIL is 38 this year and just gave birth to a baby gal not too long ago. She used to call her husband at the office every month during the 'critical' period and demand that he comes home NOW! :D ahahaha

Java, it's nice to stop work and do things that you are interested in. I am also looking for some courses to take.. those totally not related to work type. Recently, I got interested in cooking and have been cooking for my family every other sunday.

Cookies, how are you feeling today?

folic
 
hi ladies,

thanks for e advise.

i guess when i keep my mind occupy with work, i'll have less time 2 think of e negative things. have been trying 2 rationalise things since i post my worry here. i think i more or less prepare 4 e worst 2 happen. well, will c e result next tue.

linda, congrats 2 u.
 
Linda!
CONGRATS! sounds like a smooth and short delivery for you! great to know that baby vic is "naughty" and disturbing mummy. do share her pics with us! take care and chat with us when you feel bored! did you engage any confinement lady to help out?

java,
good to take a break. because it could be stress that is disturbing your AF cycles. and nobody can disturb your " hidden Agenda" in this way.
 
hi linda,
Congrats and nice to hear from you again. Have a good rest and enjoy the 2 months of not working!!! This Sat I have to work the whole day. My boss at first ask me to come back on Sunday, but I refused. Yes, my job is quite stressful, sometimes I even bear my urine although my bladder is almost bursting. ok back to the grind...
 
Hi cookies,
How have things been?

Hi Micky
How is everything going? I do hope it is smooth (u know what I mean). Do drop me a note when you are free... Can't send emails now cos PC got email virus... better not risk crashing your PC.

Hi Snuffles, Folic, Silk, Bebechic, Java
Thanks a lot for the note of congrats. Honestly you girls have been a great source of comfort. No matter how some of you say that you all are glad I set up this thread, but what I like to say is that it helped me too. And I think I couldn't have gone thru all these without you girls. So, <font color="ff0000">THANK YOU</font>.

Victoria is ok... I mean TOUCH WOOD, but she is relatively ok to take care now... (Later not so sure) But the nights are torturing cos I take care of her myself and try not to get her crying cos hubby needs his sleep to work the next day. Intially was difficult with stitches and fear of bowel movement and breast engorgement. I couldn't breast feed directly from 4th day cos my nipples got so badly chewed up by Vic. So milk flow is reducing....haiz, makes me feel so useless.
 
hi linda,

thanks. feeling calmer now, do hope 4 e best. will only know wat's e latest next tue.

i understand breast feeding is not n easy task, so dun feel dishearten, things may be better in e next few days.
take care n hv fun with yr new born.
 
Linda,
thanks. in fact, the procedure went very well and i'm 6 weeks preggie now.

ladies, check with you all. my scan at 6 weeks showed only the sac but cannot see baby. VERY worried. doc said he seems to see the baby at the bottom of the sac and tot it saw it flickering. but my womb very straight and sac too high up, that's why cannot see clearly.

you gals at 6 weeks can see anything? will there be possibility of a sac and no baby inside? doc did not ring any alarm though and he said shld be ok, 6 weeks normally too small to see anything. got to repeat the scan next sat. he also tot he saw a 2nd sac, but that was so small, and he said if it is, it is unlikely to survive. now i'm more concern abt the first one...cannot see the baby..

appreciate all your advise.tks
 
Hi Micky,

I think it is quite common to see very little at week 6. Like Linda, she did not hear baby's heartbeat till much later as well. Don't worry too much and rest well!

folic
 
hellos,
wonder how is helen doing? she has given birth yesterday right?

linda,
good to know that you are coping. i believe there is definitely hiccups along the way as its never easy to be in a new role and identity. Do not be disheartened. we are here to listen. keke if you need to grumble!
 
folic,

thanks. i'm not so worried about the heartbeat now, me worried abt no foetus in the sac. though doc said on the screen he seems to see baby on the bottom of the sac, he said cannot see clearly. but by next week, shld be able to see. told us not to worry but cannot help it.
 
Hello everyone,
hope u are all well.

Micky,
don't worry too much. 6 weeks is still very early in the developmental stage and a few of my friends did not see their bbs till later in the 8-9 week.

Linda,
It's not easy being a new mum yah? But I'm sure u are savouring the experience and the bonding with Vic. Hopefully u'd be able to pick up some tips from other threads. Do take good care of urself esp during confinement.
 
Hi cookies
I pray for the best for you.

Hi Micky,
6 weeks honestly is too early. But cos you had a detail following up with your doctor who shld know your implantation date, I wouldn't say your calculation is off so I cannot based my experience to advise. But keep in mind that many pregnant ladies do not see much until about the 8 weeks. yes, it is hard not to worry... but micky, keeping a positive outlook is very impt for you and for your hubby n bb.

hi snuffles,
hadn't had time to read thru those threads... life now revolves around vic's milking time...now i know the meaning of "no life"... keying this msg with one hand now cos she's asleep in the other,... hhahahah...but of course it will be worth it...
 
Linda,

i believe though life now has "no life" but i think it's definitely worth it right? esp when little vic gives you a smile or wink..
ok, will try to think positive, going for the jab again tomolo morning, OUCHS... will check with him for assurance again...you take care..say hello to vic for me..

snuffles, thanks for the encouragement. you take care too..
 
Dear friends,
I delivered on 28th Feb in the morning by C-section. I was under epidural and was conscious throughout the whole process. I was able to see my son within minutes of his birth. It was not as bad as I thought. Taking the first step on the second day was bad but it got better and I was up and about on the 3rd day. Now, I am at home doing confinement and trying to cope with my new life.

Linda,
I fully understand what you are going through. Breastfeeding is tough and painful. Nightfeeds are the most torturous of all. We must persevere for hte sake of our babies. After going through so much, we will want to give them the best.
 
Hi Helen,

congrats! Glad to hear that you have successfully delivered! Hope you have a chance to rest well during the confinment period! Take care!

folic
 
congrats helen! i'm sure torturing night feeds are still far better than torturing 2WWs.
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millie, how are u? haven't heard from you for a while. i was supposed to see my gynae after my vietnam trip, but haven't been back since Dec. do u think i should go? too lazy lah, and besides, he will check my follicles and tell me roughly when i'm ovulating...and that's even more stressful. sigh!
 
Helen,
CONGRATULATIONS! Thanks for sharing ur time with us, I'm sure u need all the sleep u can get.

Enjoy ur bb and take care of urself too.
 
I was browsing through some pregnancy books yesterday and came across one by London's Queen Charlotte Hospital. This is the most eminent pae/gyn hospital in the whole of UK. Came across this surprising news which I have not seen anywhere before. This is the gist:

"Miscarriages are common.... reported 10%.... but likely higher due to unreported cases. This figure is probably 30% for FIRST time pregnancies"

Am wondering if anyone has come across that and know the reason why??

Hi Tiny,
what is "2WW" ?
 
Hi snuffles,

That figure you quoted is roughly the same percentages that I have seen in many reports and preg books. Most people are not even aware that they are preg and might have very early miscarriages and think it is their usual period.
I am not sure if it is usually higher for first time preg though but chances are it is possible that the body is not 'tuned' for preg
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Nowadays, I keep thinking that I am healthier and better prepared for the next preg.

2WW is 2 weeks waiting - referring to the period after ovulation till menses is due.
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folic
 
Dear Friends,
Thanks for your well wishes.

Linda,
I feel like a cow waiting for milking time every day. Babies can also be erratic too and they cry for no reason. It can be a headache at times.
 
helen,
what a way to describe! but i believe you are happy being a "cow" because you are giving your ernest the best. keke..
 


Hi folic,
I was very surprised by the quotation in the book because there is no other way of viewing the info'. It simply implies that there is a higher incidence of m/c for first pregnancies.

I think u are right about body being "tuned" for preg.
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It's probably an immunity reaction to a 'foreign body' in the uterus. Sigh! The more I think abt this recently, the more I think further research should be done about this. Maybe it would be possible to develop some chemical mechanism (supplements or otherwise) so that in future, more MTM can be better tuned and will avoid the heartache we've been through?
 
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