Support group - Miscarriages

hi all
thanks for all your blessings
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i m still very worried as i hv miscarriage b4 & really pray tat i hv a smooth pregnancy this round.
 


Hi All

Can someone tell me how the D&C procedure is like? I'm abt 8wks but Doc told me my baby not growing...so must do D&C.
 
hamasaki - clipart{biggrin} we are the same. yeah! i must learn to relax liao
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coral - You moving to new house soon ah? yeah! i agree, once your BIL move in you can ask him to move out. Maybe you should have a gd talk with your MIL. btw, you BIL married liao mah? Dont worry that. Now the most important is that you must bu n tiao back your health so that you can get pregnant easily. Relax n dont stress yourself yeah!

mei - U seek for 2nd opinion? yeah! myabe yours still early n u cant see it? when i was pregnant the 2nd time, i oso bleed n gynae oso say tis pregnancy no gd n .... (something sad) n say the only think i can do is hope for miracle n pray lor (its god will) n after listerning to him my heart drop. I cried n cried n sun i went to temple to pray then the next 2 days i went to my own gynae n yo! can see bb liao. So happy.

So dont give up n stay positive. See wat the gynae say again.
 
Mei, hope you won't hv to go thru D&C, hope that good news will come.

Confused, we were about to sign and buy this new house on Sun, but after hearing inlaws' plan on Sat I told hb to hold first, cos now I really not sure if I want to work hard to buy a new place then make myself feeling miserable cos my bb rooms taken up. BIL not married yet, so we thought he can stya with inlaws till he married then we bring inlaw over to stay with us, but who knows my inlaws got other plans. They even decided how to renovate and use the house. We're planning to buy this place with 4 rms, so we thought can give one room to in laws and keep one for bbs and 1 as study, but in laws asked for 2 rms for themselves, and 1 rm for bil since they don't think we'll hv bb soon, so in the end hb and I left with 1 big room for ourselves and our future bb. So funny, my inlaws are nice pple but I didn't understand when they told us that they hv lots of things so fil ask for 1 room as walk in wardrobe for mil, I was really shocked. Now, only way out is to not buy house if we're too paiseh to reject their request.
 
Hi poppy, sorry for the late reply.

D&C - is done with general anesthesia. The whole this will be over in abt 40 min. You will wake up feeling very sleepy and have menses like cramps. You will be bleeding slightly only, nothing like the normal mthly menses. Which will clear in less than a wk. Hope this is clear. Do take care.
 
Coral - ya! can understand your feeling. But did your talk to your PIL regarding the rooms. (ask them where your bb going to sleep in future?) its very difficult to ask someone to move out after staying in the hse (you'll spoil the relationship) your BIL got girlfriend liao mah? intend to get married soon?
 
Coral,
if you dun feel comfortable, just tell them that you cant afford the house now after calculating.
I think they cannot be "Buay Paiseh" cos you are the owner also... so you should decide how to "Feng Pei" the room...
 
Coral, if u dun feel comfortable talking to ur in-laws abt the house things, maybe can ask hubby to talk to them..

if u really dun wanna them to occupied 2 rooms or dun feel like letting them move in to stay with u, U got to talk to them abt this issue asap ..
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Confused, I dare not tell PIL tat the rm is meant for our bb in future cos I dunno if I can hv bb. They assume I won't hv bb so soon so they say it's a waste of the rm. Wat can I say since I just lost my bb, I can't say anything.
Hb n I say last resort is say we hv not enuf $ so don't buy liao, wait till they cool off, n when I preggie then we'll buy a 3 bedrm place for ourselves only and let them continue staying with BIL. BIL only got to know his gf end last year, so we don't expect them to get married so soon.
Life is so funny, one thing just over, a new thing to come occupy our time. Looks like life is full issues for us to solve. Well, prob tat's how life gets more interesting.
 
ladies...

is it possible to have 'natural" miscarriage without the need of going thr D&C? meaning all the remains flow out naturally?
 
Hi gals,
I had a miscarriage at 9th week. The foetus had stopped growing at 8th week, no heartbeat was detected. My worst fear has come true.. gone thru the D&C last week.. It was really a horrified experience for me..Now recovering physically & mentally at home till end of this week. Next week needs to start work, v sian.. still feel very sad sometimes. But it's better to cry out all my xin(1) suan(1), rather than act strong..

Now I still hv some bleeding after the D&C. Dont know when my menses will come.. hope it wont mess up my regular menses period. Haizzzz....
 
hi ?, yes.
I opted for the natural option.. took a medication all cytotec....it speeds up the expulsion.... but it will take longer than D&C, as the womb lining will take longer to shed.
 
hi Coral,
think there's nothing wrong with saying that the room is meant for bb... it can happen anytime... I also think it's good to shelve the plan. :p
 
hi lala, I'm so sorry to hear that
be strong... now you need lots of tonic and rest... you will recover very soon.... dun "Hu Si Luan Xiang"...
 
Hi Elmo,
I am now having a mini-confinement. I can only jin(4) bu(3) from the 2nd week after D&C. Now I make red dates drink daily - need to drink daily for a month. Also takes alot of ginger. Sweat alot...which is good
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Hi ?,
My gynae actually told me some pple go for 'natural mc' rather than D&C. I personally feel that I have no patience to wait for the 'natural mc' as it's so stressful to watch out for mc bleeding. I opt for D&C in order to clear things fast.

Just let you know more details on my D&C. I was admitted at around 10am. As I hv never given birth before, 2 tablets were inserted into my virginia to soften my cervix. This will take few hours to take effects before my surgery at 2.30pm. Side effects of the tablets would be cramps.. I experience cramps fm 10plus to 2.30pm, then I was pushed into the operating theatre(OT). The cramp is so painful tt the GA gave me painkiller jab instantly. We waited for my gynae to come. I was so so nervous while waiting. Gynae came in at 3pm, talked to me for awhile & I fell asleep immediately.. When I wake up, I was already outside the OT. No pain at all in my virginia. The cramp pain is still there, but much better than before D&C. My gynae told me the surgery went on smoothly as all the unwanted tissues are ready to come out. A day after the surgery, I experienced on & off cramp until I need to take painkiller before I sleep. Thereafter no pain already....
Horrified experience for me.. Haizzzz..
 
gd morning lala,

must do a small confinement ya...avoid cold water hor, i had 2 weeks confinement..(cant tahan the hotness)...if u really wan to bath, pls bath hot water..dun catch cold ya..i din even sip on any plain water...my mum cook the longan with hong zao and herbals for me..

u hv the rite to cry out, dun worry...

btw after my bleeding for 2 weeks, my mens din come till now(3months liao)...

u must take good care ya...
 
Jess,
zia lak, how come your menses hvnt come yet ?????
did you consult any chinese doc ???

i plan to TTC again after 2mths of recovering... I used to have very regular & accurate menstration period. oh no.. now i worried..
 
dun worry lala,

i forseen my case is differnt from u cos hor, my mens since last year not regular le...jus seen the JE sinseh...took her med for 2 days only since yday...

my gynae (dr Koh cheng Huat) told me to try 3 months later...cos our womb is sore from the D&C..takes some time to recover..my case is i was preggy for 5.5 weeks and i cant stop bleeding for a day (from 11am ~ 9pm+) so no choice got to do a D&C lor..

but u can check out with u gynae whether u can ttc after 2months, jus to play safe..
 
Jess,
My gynae says as long as my menstration period is back to normal, I can try. He actually says anytime when we are emotionally ready. That's why I plan to take care of my health properly for this very impt 1st mth.. Also I will consult my Chinese Doc-Xia Rong at Eu Ren Seng at Paragon to 'bu' my womb stronger & uterus lining thicker. After my mini-confinement, I will continue to make red dates drink, 'cong cai', drink chicken essence say once a week to maintain.. Other pple can get preg & carry the BB so easily.. how come I so 'ma fan'...
 
lala
wow u really 'bu' ya...i only drink 2 bottles of chicken essence, and manage to finish 1l of Dom...

i think start from tml i will try to drink more chicken essence, i got 4 half dozen sitting in my cabinet..haha

must really 'bu' ya...!

let work hard together..

but i was being dignoised PCOS...so more ma fan le...
 
Hi gals, there seems to be quite abit to catch up with.

lala, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Our lives still has to go on. Hang in there and look at the bright side of life, there are some pple out there who are much worse of then us. Yes, this has been on my mind especially recently since my sis is caught in such a situation. I thank God for giving me a stable family, a good husband and a beautiful son. If God wants to bless me with another child, then it is truly a blessing. For now, my focus is on my sis, she really needs me and my parents support. I have been spending alot of my time with her, and have been kind of neglecting my hb and son, but I'm sure that they can understand why.

Everything in life has a purpose. Everything happens for some reason that we dont know why and sometimes cant understand why. We just have to accept it and move on.

Kudos to all of us who have accepted fate, and moved on. One day our experience will be of use to someone else.

Have a great day!
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Hi Jess,

Not to worry too much about your menses. Mine took 2 months after the D and C to come and I found that the flow was even better than before. No clots, no cramping and the blood was bright red, not the dull red. Must try to relax so that your hormones are more regulated.

Hi Lala,

My case was similar to yours. My bb had no heartbeat in the 9-10th week. I didn't have any symptoms and only found out during a normal checkup at the gynae. You must take care ok? Don't feel guilty (easier said than done!) And don't be so kan-cheong to try another one. Must make sure that your body is ready for another pregnancy, ok? And don't think that you are very 'ma fan' while other people had an easy pregnancy because each female has a different consitution. It's better to have a stronger, normal and healthy bb, right? Like what Jess said, we must all work hard together! Never give up!
 
hi babes
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am back from laparoscopy & D&C liao..
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feelin ok nw.. and thks for all ur concerns, gynae took pics of the procedure and tell me that bb is abt 6weeks old le..
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well.. its ok lah.. as long as i'm healthy can le.. dun wan think so much and not goin TTC so soon
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berrynice,

i got no signs of mens coming...i feel so bloated so fat...haiz

i think cant relax much cos hor, i went to see the JE sinseh, den realise got so much prob liao..how to relax..sob sob..
 
Hi gals,
Many thanks for all your encouragements!

Yasmin,
I believe that God has better plan for me. I am sure that in future when I look back, I will realise God has loved me so much. This episode has ended & I just have to move on with a stronger faith yah..This is a blessing in disguise. Since the foetus is no good, it's better to let it go now.

Berrynice,
Mine also no symtoms at all. Just one time brown spottings only..

Jess,
Are you consulting that very 'famous' JE sinseh ?? She's the one who said you have PCOS ?? Did she refer you to Chris Cheng fm Gleneagles ?? If she's the one, I don't trust her. She keep telling patients they hv PCOS & refer them to Chris, who will then ask his patients to go for Larpo surgery....
 
Hi Mei,
sorry to hear abt your loss. Its good to know that the procedure went well. The concern is mainly on the tubes, as long as your tubes are ok thats good. Yup, its a good idea to halt ttc for now. Take care and rest well.

lala, thats the way gal! Cheer up! God will surely bless us all with our own bundle of joy when the time is right.
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cat

no ley he din do any test on me at all..even i had the m/c, he din even ask me to go for any further checkup...haiz

u had see him for how long liao? i started seeing him in apr'05 recommended by a classmate..

btw how u find dr koh?
 
Hello gals

coral - ya! Since u have a nice PIL better keep quiet n find excuses (dont spoil the relationship with them) and your BIL not getting married yet so can still stay with them hor.

So now in the mean time, you rest well n btw,did your gynae advise u to take multi vitamin after that?
 
Jess,
I had a m/c too in 2003. He did not ask me to go or any test. I asked he said no need to unless got further m/s. Did you tell him u have PCOS? I am worried I have too cos I don't think I am ovulating as my OPKs show -ve last month but my menses will come every month. Every cycle is about 31 or 32 days.

Dr Koh is nice. My husband and I like him. He is very encouraging too. He shared his own experience with me when I had the m/s.
 
mei, jia you! take good care...

cat,

nope i havent make any appt with him yet, and morever i jus get to kn i had this PCOS from this JE sinseh...and its seems so common leh...haiz

ya when i m/c in may, he shared with us his own experiences too..he is a very encouraging doc..which we are comfortable with him...
 
Dear Mei2, Jess & lala,

Sorry to hear about what happen. And must heed the advice of what most ladies here say, do a confinement and bu back and be positive. I'm trying my best to listen to their good advice too.
I'm getting worried, dunno why my menses/bleeding last so long. It's been 3 weeks after my lost. Or maybe my case diff cos my bb 6mths and I gave birth naturally?? Cos most of you hre say your bleeding only lasted 2weeks...
 
Hi Coral,
When I gave birth to my son, I had bleeding, more like spotting, for 30 odd days. So it is normal. Dont worry. If the bleeding is heavy, you need to bring see your gynae abt it.
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hi lala,
you can take some "Dang shen", "Guo Qi Zhi" soup also.... if your body can take it... try to do confinement for 30 days.... that's wat my sinseh told me....your body will be stronger.... once you start feeling heaty, can cut down liao... but me bu for 28 days liao still dun feel heaty.... best that you are seeing a sinseh.. then probably can "Dui Zheng Xia Yao".....I was told to take some more herbal soup even after the confinement on a weekly basis. :p
 
Cat, dun worry.. sometimes OPK can also make mistake. :p The best is to get gynae to check to see if you have been ovulating.
Yes, you are right... normally 1st m/c, no test required unless got special circumstances.....
 
Mei2, please take good care of yourself and have a good 1 mth confinement.... drink the red date (dang shen, bei qi, red date, longan, quo qi zhi and ginger) tea every day and lots of ginger and lots of tonic for you... after blood clear, drink ba zhen and danggui.....can also add danggui into the red date tea...will be very good...
"BU" as much as you can and rest more....
you may wan to consider getting those herbs thingy to shower...... cos me started having backache in 2nd/3rd week....until I started to use the herbs to shower.....
 
Coral, everyone's body is different so dun worry...my bleeding/spotting also lasted 3 weeks plus liao... still not stopping..sinseh say stopping soon.....

that time I mentioned before...take some "Sheng1 Hwa4 tang" from sinseh and drink immediately after birth or immediately after D&C or natural M/C....will help to expel out the old blood faster... that time I took too late...
 
I had my D&C last thursday. Tdy seems like my bleeding has cleared. My mum says can only 'jin bu' after 1week.

Hey Jess,
That's why I told you this JE sinseh is telling every 'trying to conceive' women tt they have PCOS! She told my colleague too & referred her to Christopher, whom asked my colleague to go for lapro surgery. We urge my colleague not to as she is still young. Guess what, 2mths later my colleague is pregnant w/o any surgery or any medication! Even some gynaes say this is unethical & it's a scandal !
 


elmo I drank that soup too, but a few days after. Now that I know it's normal to last longer then not so worried. But so sick of bleeding. The longest ever in my life, including the bleeding during my pregnancy, been bleeding since 1 Apr. 4 months liao.

lala, what's PCOS?
 
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