Support group - Miscarriages

Hi Catz,
Gee.... I like chubby babies...
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banking on your good words, I do hope I will have fantastic news to share with u BEFORE u are back....kekekek.. Leave us ur email huh?

Hi rainbow.
Dun think too much over what went wrong, who did wrong... The more u stress urself, the harder to get preggie next round. If u feel tt u will feel more comfy after the pre-pregnancy check, go ahead!
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They runs tests on your genes and traits for birth defects and take a good look at ur hormones and womb. A good way to ease ur fears....

Girls,
Saw red today....couldn't believe my menses will be here so soon...only abt 3 weeks 1 day after d&c...wonder if it is a good or bad sign... Time to try again soon??? *Gearing up for baby dancing*
How's the rest doing?
 


Hi girls!!!
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rainbow, maybe a pre-pregnancy check would be beneficial. BTW, have you done your gynae check with papsmear, breast exam etc?? Should do it if you've been married for a while yah?
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Linda, we're both still really young so shouldn't be so much of a problem... *fingers crossed* In the meantime, take good care of your health and continue to maintain your folic acid and other supplements. It's a good sign that your menses are returning to normal!!! Or perhaps it's just your body's own cleaning mechanism after the d&c?

Good luck, everyone!!! Don't worry, I'll still be around.
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Hi Catz,

So good can shake legs, I can only wave my hands and wish you good luck and all the best.

Wish you settle fast and get the machine going...hee...hee

Keep in touch .
 
Hi catz Hi Vera
I wld feel great to be able to shake leg for a while.... Honestly, wish I cld.... But no excuse as yet.... Worry abt the income later on....

I feel bad today...
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Menses is here and I feel tired and lethagic and worst, I see pregnant women everywhere.... My SIL is due in july and came back from her gynae trip... Her boy is great and healthy and big...she is worried.... Not that I wish otherwise...but I cldn't help but think how diff it wld be for me.... I wold have been abt 10 weeks preggie now.... Almost over the 1st trimester.... And I have to run into pregnant ladies, ladies with cute chubby babies.... Sigh.... *cry* why can't I?????
Think it is better for me to sleep it thru....
 
Hi Linda
don't give yrself so much pressure
enjoy yr 2 persons world with yr hubby & very soon you will realise u're pregnant

i also feel v v envy when i see people with kids
bt we must have confident one day we will be like them too bringing our kids to shopping to restaurants etc

Hi Catz
u too share with us good news
GOOD LUCK TO YOU & LINDA !!!!!!!!!!!
 
Hi Linda

Please dun give yourself too much pressure. I am just like you sometimes. Thinking abt my baby, how many weeks will they be now but we really have to let go. We must look forward, the past will only serve as memory, not a fear, not something to make you stop.

Think forward in June, we can start trying and who knows, we will be pregnant again!

Let's pray and god will grant us strength to help us through.
 
Hi Linda dear, don't be sad, OK? Don't pressure yourself and just enjoy couple time, yah? Same, I feel really envious of pregnant women but well, there will be a right time for us.. so don't think so much. Enjoy the weekend!!!!!

soft and rainbow, you've been really sweet. Good luck to us all!
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I am feeling worst... I soak my entire pad and flooded the bed this morning...I never had such heavy flow before... Gosh....

And my colleague is pregnant... She goes back to M'sia only weekly and she is able to conceive so soon!!! Sigh.....
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Hi Linda,

remember me...

Sorry to know about your misfortune.. but cheer up ok.. soon you will be pregnant again..

i also trying to get lucky for sometime. and also have the same thinking like you.. why others can get pregnant so easily.. and sad when see cute baby and pregnant lady..

but what to do.. just continue the baby dancing and think positive loh..

cheer up, girl...
 
Hi Catz, which part of US will you be? I am in NYC, shaking leg but still have to look after family, full-time housewife is also a profession ... ha ha.

We got married last year and now we are trying for a new addition too, I had a false alarm recently, had missed my period for more than a month and also had weird symptoms so was quite excited and my hubby also kept telling me to go get a home-testing kit, when I was about to go buy the kit, my period came and I was very sad, my hubby knew that I was upset and comforted me. Now we are taking it easy and I am also settling better here, who knows when we least expect it, we might have good news!
 
Hi Seraphim

I'll be in Monterey CA.. shaking leg too. Hehe..
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We're currently trying but as I've just gone off the pill, not expecting any success soon. Bloated right now but not pregnant.. chey..
 
Hey catz, cool! Me and hubby was living apart with me in Singapore and he in the states lah till recently then I decided to come over so the 'living apart' was our contraceptive lor ... ha ha. Should you ever come to NYC for a break, email me [email protected], maybe we can meet up.
 
Hey Catz and Seraphim

I am planning to go to Boston to join my hubby in August. Sorry to divert from the topic, but now looking for potential kakis in US. Any checklist for the move to another country - worried that I may miss out on the admin stuff - like ensuring that my outstanding bills are paid, insurance stuff, etc... BTW: Also hoping for an American baby...tks!!

All the best to the mummy-wannabes. I have heard so much abt frens/relatives' miscarriages that I too will be v worried when my turn comes
 
Hi LInda,

I believe the heavy menses is good. It may help to clear our system.

I also share the same feeling as you......my colleage also got pregnant recently, about the same time as me.........now I got 'question' by other colleages when I'm trying one...sometimes I do feel very frustrated though I act as though I am not in a hurry.

But I always remind myself that what past already past, have to happily look forward.

Cheer up!!
 
Hi Vera

You and me in the same boat! I also have a colleague who is pregnant at the same time as me if the d&c had not happened, and other colleagues have been asking me when is my turn. sigh..........
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just have to pretend nothing has happened. I understand how you feel but there is really nothing we can do but keep trying.

Hi Linda

My mense is here liao. First day is very heavy. I have the intention of trying this month but really afraid that becos of my implusive action, I might bring harm to the baby shld i succeed this time. I am scared that i will miscarriage cos i did not take enough time before i try. i am sure you can understand my anxiety and i am sure you feel the same way as i am. Do you think we shld really try now or shall we wait till the next cycle?
 
Hi Vera and soft, I guess people don't know sometimes that their questions can cause hurt. Just carry on as normal and hope that all turns out well! Linda, you please take care ok? As for trying again, I think maybe wait till your womb is a little stronger to try? Just one more cycle should be OK right?

AT and Seraphim, wah we should form a new try for American bebe gang.
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Shall we start another email group so as to not detract from the original topic of this thread? Mail me [email protected].
 
Hey Catz, I have set up a '38' Club in another thread. Go on and set up another one for us lah.

Hi AT, I replied to you in another thread that you set up but I don't see your reply. I am in New York which is an hour's flight away from Boston. Here's my email: [email protected], feel free to contact me.
 
Hi Catz & AT, I set up the new topic liao, under Matter of the Heart, 'Singapore girls away from home sweet home', we talk there better lah.
 
Dear girls

Have a poem for you all....

/b{Just Those Few Weeks}

For those weeks,
I had you to myself
And that seems way too short a time
To be changed so profoundly

In those few weeks
I came to know you and to love you
And you came to trust me with your life
And oh what a life I had planned for you

Just those few weeks
And then I lost you
I lost a lifetime of hopes and plans and dreams
A slice of my future vanished overnight

Just those few weeks
There wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you were
How odd....
A truly unique person has died
And few mourn the passing

Just a few weeks
We cry all night
Over a tiny unfinished baby


You were just those few weeks
My little one
You darted in and out of my life too quickly
But it seems that is all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer
And to give me a glimpse of eternity
 
<FONT COLOR="119911">Hi Vivi</FONT>
Yah, I remember you....
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How's your hubby? Keep trying!!! Dun lose heart...Eric and I tried for 6 months before we got lucky....

<FONT COLOR="ff0000">Hi Vera, </FONT>
I do hope the heavy menses is good.... and is an indication of possible fertility soon... I seen on some websites tt some girls dun get their AF till 6-7 weeks later.... mine was in 3 weeks.... Now flow is reduced....

<FONT COLOR="0000ff">Hi soft...</FONT>
I understand your fears...me too... However, I didn't wanna wait another 6 months to get preggie again.... I mean it is such an agony to see AF every month when we tried.... And my hubby also not young, I do really really wish to bear him children.... i felt such a failure when I lost Ah Dot......
Yet I am afraid tt since the doc recommended 2 cycles, and if I wld to get preggie...people will say horrible things.... and worst still *TOUCHWOOD* if anything happen again, I cldn't bear it....
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Will discuss with hubby...and prob adopt the not prevent, but not try attitute......

Hi Catz,
I am so so tempted to try again.... sigh... liek what I mentioned above.... but it is so diff sometimes.... esp when i stare into pregnant ladies' stomach.... I felt SO SO jealous.... yet i know i am wrong.... How i wish I had the good news to share... but... sigh...
 
BTW Ctaz,
I read something on PCOS and there's quite good insight on this and fertility.... Maybe you like to read some info on this and since in the states you can shake legs, you might as well do something... www.babymed.com
Check out this website..... and do a search....there is a few topics on this....
 
Hihi Linda,

So sweet of you to post the link for me.. thanks. I don't hv much time to look into PCOS fully right now but when I'm shaking legs, that's definitely #1 on my priority list!! Well, dear, don't feel too stressed at others' pregnancies ok? I also felt quite low last week 'cos my colleague's wife got pregnant yet they are complaining that they will lose their freedom to travel etc.. I mean, if you're lucky enough to get pregnant, quit complaining about it!? I actually think the 'not prevent' method is pretty good 'cos you don't put too much stress on yourself.. don't take the fun out of trying.
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Good luck, my dear!!!
 
Hi Linda
Thks for yr poem
it really remind me of the past few months i have been going through

at least yr husband is supportive but like mine
I am always envying the little cute girls my relatives have &amp; really enjoy playing with them
but still do not understand why such things happen to me &amp; why can't i have such cute girl girl or boy boy like them??? only envy &amp; envy
 
Hi Linda,
Your poem is very touching, but sad. Ur menses come already, so fast, so good, but u dun stress urself...just "shun qi zhi ran"...

Hi Catz, AT &amp; Seraphim
u all going to US...so good, so u go there n be "tai tai". Enjoy ur stay there...and take care.

Hi Rainbow,
Me sometime also think Y it has to be ME! Y i so unlucky to experience it.
 
Hi Catz,
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I am sure u will be alright and happy and able to conceive soon...there is quite a few good stories which girls with PCOS conceived naturally and successfully carried their babies to full term... Hope it will be of help to you.

Hi rainbow....
Are you not getting support from your hubby? Dun worry lah...men like my hubby too is sometimes speechless when it comes to comforting words...I dun tell him too much abt what I felt recently abt the jealousy part.... I think he wld not have understooded.....

Hi Kis,
Yah...when there is so many who is able to conceive easily and have healthy babies.... Why it have to happen to me??? Sigh....

Anyone TTC-ing again? My mum been nagging me (and she says ever since my first pregnancy, my eldest brother has been too) to go to SIL's gynae in Mt E..... She says dun go to any doc.... I thinking if it is true.... sigh....
 
Hi Linda,

Thanks.. you are really so sweet. We all jia you yah?
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rainbow, yes, sometimes men very wooden so don't take their silence as being uncaring. Yes, sometimes they really don't understand us lor.. what to do? We're all running on different frequency.. hehe..
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Kis, don't feel so bad yah? It's not your fault and it's not YOU. These things happen and the statistics for miscarriage is very high, esp in our high stress, polluted envt.

Sorry ah, what's TTC?
 
Aiyoh...Catz, I am turning into caramel already judging how how "SWEET" you think I am....
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I haapen to see and search on it mah....cos I know how diff it is to keep waiting every month.....

TTC = Trying To Conceive
 
so sad..today heard my colleague's wife BB also no more liao..heard she was bleeding..guess most probably miscarriage..sigh..
 
Hi gals,

U know, we shd plan some activities or short trip, or something happy. I'm doing that...U know there's a "stepout" promo. I'm thinking of going to short trip or go and get a hotel stay for me n hubby...sometime when u r thinking of it, or planning, its helps to clear ur mind of sad tots and u feel good,(even though eventually not going).
 
Hi mtbs

but my hubby will scold me when i cry because he finds I am very "luan luo" (nt strong enough) he says want to train me to be STRONG
see how weird my hubby is &amp; how insensitive he is..

till now I didn't take any tonic after this incident sometimes I complaint to him but he said I already ate vitamins all that should be enough

at times he will say "do you want to be mummy?" which means to try for babies but when i think of the past &amp; how insensitive he is I said NO

Hi Kis
Me thinking of going for short trip
but my hubby said no $
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Hi Okeanosmao
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Mao!! Have not seen u for a while... are u successful in your TTC yet? Abt your colleague, well, maybe it is not as bad leh? Spotting can be quite common...

Hi Kis... I wish too...
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But hubby is so busy at work...u know, actually secretly I enjoy the post d&amp;c week...cos he spend every other waking moment with me.... sigh...now it is back to "good" ole days.....
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Hi rainbow,

U still "cry" for the lost? How many weeks liao? U shd get a good long long crying sessions, one and for all, then eventually, u will still feel aching pain, but shd have stop ur tears. Not good leh, be strong...mayb u secretly cry. I also, once i cry the whole day, silently crying. Mayb ur hubby is not insensitive, but its his way of comforting u, supporting u. My hubby also didn't cry with me, but that's doesn't means he's got no feeling. I know he cry secretly. And if he also breakdowns, who is going to comfort me. N women feelings are always more tender, cry easily. So, mayb ur hubby is putting up a strong front to give u supports.

And, u shd take some tonics. Go buy the chicken essence and drink it urself loh...Me also make the drink myself and forced myself to drink.

Then go for a hotel stay...there's few good bargains one for $45-$100. I'm still considering myself.

Hi Linda,
My hubby also busy and stressed with exams. So, i didn't have the opportunity to really enjoy my post d&amp;c week...sighed; still have to do hsework, give him supports too. Hee, but i told him that after his exams, he will need to "compensate" me.
 
Hi rainbow,

I agree with Kis. If he also fall, who will support you? Let yourself out and cry all you want.... I cried like nobody's business and then now i feel better just that sometimes I do feel a twitch of pain.... Soon, the painful days lessen and each day, you find yourself laugh a little more....

As for trying again, do so when you are ready...or maybe talk to him...tell him that u needed someone to comfort you...and crying is natural... Men lose their wits when women cry.... Tell him your fears...

Hi Kis,
at least you still have the "after-exams" period... For me, it seems tt he is forever so busy... He comes home like only after 9pm...even when I was pregnant...couldn't blame him i know...cos work these days are simply too busy.... But sometimes I wish tt we have more time together... cooking a simple meal, go out walk walk.... He just told me today tt he so busy, next time have children how??
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Honestly I also dun know....
 
Hi Linda,
Ur hubby making $$$ mah...Or u can go out with ur frens, shopping or just have a coffee...U play mahjong rite, so spent those time when ur hubby's busy. Or u can take up x-stitch or knitting etc...Then, when ur hubby come home, u then spend time with him watching TV etc. How abt weekends, make either sat/sun free, and go out together loh.

When my hubby studying, i accompany him, i read story books or do knitting etc...then in btw, chit chat with him...Then he says i always "fun" him, then i say dun wan to speak to him loh, but in the end, still got talk talk a bit lah.

Next time when baby comes, he sure try to make time for u n baby one lah...dun worry to much.
 
Hi Kis,

I can't be shopping every day right? I go home also I am alone... so siaz... So once i quarrel with hubby or feel depression, I lagi get more depressed once i reach home...cos so empty and lonely....
We only have a Sunday together....Sat he work till 7pm mostly.... and by the time he is home, he is dead-beat... Sundays let him sleep till noon...half day gone.... cannot go out too late cos Monday got to work AGAIN.... I really siaz of this kind of lifestyle...but yet I know tt he is working to earn $$ also.... Sigh....
Honestly, i dun think things will improve even if we get a baby....
 
Hi Linda,

Dun get so depressed...not good for health. Go and think wat u wld like to do, wat's ur interest or hobby. And when u r lonely, listen to music/songs loh. U like knitting? If yes, mayb u can join me, sue or babe?
 
Linda,
*sayang* my hubby also work late every nite. though our work area very near each other but sometimes i chose to go back myself first else i will only have dinner at 9-10pm every day. at times i also very sianz and feel frustrated cos alone at home beat mosquitoes. but i understand that this is his work n he has no choice. i know that given a choice he will wan to spend his time with me. And i am very sure that ur hubby also wan to go home n relax, pak toh with you.

btw, my friend who went thru D&amp;C about same time as you, was told by her gynae can try after one cycle.
 
Hi ladies
thanks for all the encouragement
till now i have no courage to try
maybe give me more months to settle down

Hi Linda
let's us put the past behind &amp; be happy again
 
Hi Kis,
Thanks for the encouragement...As for kniting...eheheheh
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I have either the talent nor the patience for it... Thanks for asking...

Hi Sunny,
Hope you are doing fine...
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Your fren's gynae said that huh? Then I am more comforted...I kept thinking if I try again and so heng kena...and what if something happen again??? People will start blaming me....
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So right now i also quite confused... also no mood to baby dance....

Rainbow, Give yourself some time... if you are not ready yet then dun.... I agree with you...let's be happy....
 
Hi gals,

I just came back from my first checkup after the D&amp;C. The gynae said better to try 1 more cycle later which is sometime in July. I ask him what would be the possible cause of MC, he said most likely is the sperm or embryo are no good at the time of conceiving. He also doesn't believe that lack of progesterone hormone will cause MC. He also mentioned that those gynae who give jabs wanted to earn money...

I also went to visit a chinese physician and she said that for my next pregnancy it's better to see who are experienced in IVF cos they know how to handle this type of situation better. She believes that those with PCOS will tend to have insufficient HCG....she recommended a few gynaes for reference.

Rainbow,

I know it's easier to say than done. But I still want to encourage you....BE HAPPY....

Kis,

Hope things go fine with you.

Linda,

I same same as you. Did not tell my hubby about the pressure that I got from my colleages and also the jealousy feeling that arouses when I see pregnant ladies !!!!
 
Hi, sorry to interrupt! I just like to know if there's a way to find out if I had a miscarriage before I even know that I'm pregnant? Thanks!
 
Hi vera,

Glad tt you are given an all-clear from your gynae check!!!
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So your gynae also ask you to try only in July?? I read in a US forum tt most gynaes suggest a waiting period of 1-2 months but most couldn't give an definite answer when asked the reason for waiting...so it is almost like a textbook answer... "Dunno why but wait to be on the safe side..."
So I am practising the dun prevent but dun try purposely mentality now.... If i am pregnant, I have to go see a doc the very next day....
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Hi qns,
Sorry I took so long to answer your question... It is possible to have a miscarriage before you realised you are pregnant. it normally will means that the pregnancy didn't develop well and would be in its very very early stages shld it happen. As to how to know, there is simply no way except if you monitor your hcg levels from your menses till the next bleeding...If it had rise and continued raising then later menses...then after a while the hcg drops.... But by then you would have already known tt you are pregnant....
 
HI qns
HCG is a hormone in ur body. It surges during pregnancy and continue to remian high....once this hcg level drops then means pregnancy failing....

Hi meg,
Thanks for the website, will take a look later... How are you feeling? Did you ask ur doc why is AF delayed?
 
Hi Linda,

Was told that 1st AF after miscarriage about 4-8 wks after....
Think it just came today.... lighter than normal though
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