Support group - Miscarriages

[odie]

Hi Bellybutton... although you may have recovered physically... but you need to ensure you recover emotionally as well. Don't have to feel paiseh about having asked for the additional 2 weeks even though your gynae felt otherwise... because you know yourself better.

It is common for gynaes to advise a 3-month wait. My gynae encouraged us to wait as well... but he also did mention that this is only a guideline according to textbooks and in the event should I get preggie before the 3 months is up... we shouldn't worry too much as well because many women go on to enjoy a healthy pregnancy. So do what you feel comfy with

 

[odie]

Hi Ocean... excited leh... but a bit disappointed when my gynae said to wait for one more week Thought can finally see my baby by this weekend.

Here's wishing Tubby a smooth delivery

Looks like you beat me to it

 

[joycesprit]

Hi bluebells, thx. She already PM-ed me.

Aiyoo.. odie.. force your gynae to induce you lah.. I ganchiong spider, want to see your bb faster.. haha

Wah tubby, fast worker eh? Ocean, she how many weeks liao.. y so fast dilated?

 

[oceans]

Odie, things that are good are worth waiting for!!

Hope u have a smooth delivery too!!

Joyce, Tubby is exactly 37wks liao!!

She kept having irregular contractions. Yap, din realised Tubby will be faster than Odie!!

 

[hamasaki]

hi angry, hope ur baby dreams will come true.. Gd Luck...


Hi odie and tubby, wish u a smooth safe delivery.. God Bless...

 

[angry]

Thanks Hamasaki!

After seeing what BellyButton posted, me a little scared liao.

Well, just let it b lor. If I strike den I hv to take extra precaution.

 

[miracle_bb]

May odie and tubby have a smooth and quick delivery!

 

[hamasaki]

yup angry, what u can do now is to ensure that u're taking enough healthy food and vitamins to build up ur body strong..

And once u find out u're pregnant, quickly see ur gynae..

 

[miracle_bb]

hi Belly"bottom",
Glad that your blood test results are normal. I hope you will have a healthy baby in your next preg. Hope you are feeling better everyday, physically and emotionally.

yasmin, how are you? Hope you are coping fine. Thinking of you...

 

[angry]

Thanks Hamasaki!

I think the best that I can do is take yr advice.

Java,

U seem MIA liao leh

 

[miracle_bb]

hi Angry,
I never MIA, I try not to post here coz I was hoping you all will chat on the other forum. hehehe. Must promote the other forum mah.

 

[chime68]

<font color="aa00aa">Hallo gals,</font>
Hows everybody? Juz popped in to say Hi to you &amp; I miss u all! Im fine &amp; still TTC-ing. Btw, Ive stopped taking BBT already cos I find it very stressful. Ill remain positive &amp; juz have to try again next mth.

<font color="0000ff">Odie,</font>
Wahgetting so excited for youmaybe these few days rained &amp; weather coldbaby choose to stay inside warmer.keke. Take good care &amp; wish u a super quick labour.

<font color="ff6000">Bluebells, Hamasaki, Confused &amp; all.</font>
Long time no chat already hor? Ill come in less often alreadyanything juz PM me hor. Dun leave me out hor.keke.

<font color="0077aa">Njoy your weekend!!</font>

Tata!!!

 

[folic]

Ocean, thanks for the tubby update! It sounds so much like my own labour.. I also 3 cm dilated and irregular contractions around 37 weeks +

Odie, I hope your little one will decide to come out before u need to to induce

folic

 

[hamasaki]

dun mention angry.. Take care...



Hi qwer, sure no problem.. We wun forget U one.. anything that u need us, free free to email or PM us.. Take care..

 

[bellybutton]

hi java.. haha.. think i should really change my nick to bellybottom. my butt has grown much bigger compared to my pre-pregnancy days.. sigh.. no choice.. my gynae today said that the butt grows bigger coz your pelvic bones need to loosen in preparation for the bb to pass through the birth canal. and very rarely will these bones shrink back to its original state.. that's the sacrifice of a mother..

and that's why they say your 2nd child will be easier to deliver coz your bones expand liao.

 

[miao2]

oh dear, I missed all the excitement here.

Tubby..wow! so super fast.

Induce today..
Ocean, please send my regards to her. So happy for her. Tell her we'll wait for her updates on her birth story..

For my case, I'm now in week 36 but gal-gal still not co-op with us leh. She still lying in a horizontal position not engaged yet. I will have another appt this friday, my gynae will check her position again. She says if she still not engaged, we will schedule for c-section next friday which is 37week + five days. But.... if she will engage on that day, then my c-section will be cancelled. So see how lah.

By the way, Odie.... your turn will be next week huh.. Have a smooth delivery and remember to update us on your birth story hor.

 

[miao2]

Hi Joyce,
Just to ask you some advices on c-section lor. How is it like har? I'm afraid my case will be c-section lor 'cos my bb still not engaged by now leh.

So just thinking how it will be like.. scary or super painful after the birth har.. And how different it will be to normal birth.. Heard that healing will take a longer while is it har.

Thank you...

 

[oceans]

Miao, no problem, will send ur regards to her!

By the way, Tubby had delivered her BB on 25 June, 1125am!!!

Congratulation to her n hubby for the little bundle of joy!!!

 

[miao2]

Ocean, thank you so much!!

Congratulation tubby... If I not remember wrong hor.. it's a boy right??

 

[hamasaki]

congrats to tubby and her family members.. Welcoming little baby boy to this beautiful world..

 

[joycesprit]

wah... Tubby popped liao.. what a good news to recieve today!! Congratulations, TUbby!!

Such a coincidence, mine on 25th feb, and Tubby's on 25th Jun..

 

[joycesprit]

Hi miao, fret not. Nothing to afraid actually. If you're gng for GA, meaning you'll be totally knock out during operation, whereas for epi c-section, they will inject the epidural into your spine.
You'll feel your lower part of body totally numbness within few min but you will be remained conscious.
The whole process including checking your BP, baby's heartbeat and etc took about 1 - 2 hour(s). After operation, you'll need to rest for abt 1/2 - 1 hr before proceeding to normal ward.

And yes, the healing part will take some time, it'll take about 1 week or so to feel painless...

Of cos there's a big difference between normal and cesarian, for normal, you'll have to go through labour pain while C no need! Just that when the anthestic effect worn down, your wound will slightly painful but bearable.
For me, I had to arch my back to walk on 2nd day.. but some say walk straight will help in wound recovery.

Hope it's help!

 

[miao2]

Hi joyce,
Thank you so much for your reply... Two more questions ok. How many days were you hospitalised? Do you have any problem breastfeeding? Thank you again....

 

[joycesprit]

Hi miao, you're welcome.

I was admitted on 25th and then discharged on 27th. Sorry, I didn't BF my boy at all.

 

[tiantian]

Hi Tubby,

CONGRATS ON THE ARRIVING OF YOUR BB !!!!! Remember to update us on your birth story !!

Hi Miao2 and Odie.

All the best to your too !!!!

 

[missy_lee]

Tubby, CONGRATULATIONS!!! looking forward to hearing your birth story!

 

[whitefloral]

hi tubby, gong xi gong xi, very happy for u

 

[droopy_eyes]

Hi Gals, just pop in to see how are u gals getting on. Congratulations, Tubby!!

 

[angry]

Congratulations, Tubby!

 

[yas]

Hi All,
Returned to work today. Feel very tired and no mood to work. Staff passing by keep asking what happened to me. I have to repeat the story all over again and again. So sianz..........

CONGRATS Tubby!

 

[angry]

Yasmin,

For me, I told them I gone to remove cyst. Till date, no one know I got M/C.

Simply ignore them lor.

 

[yas]

Hi Angry, only my team knows abt my m/c I will not tell the rest. They know also cant do anything right.

 

[angry]

Yasmin,

Jus ignore them and dont let them affect your mood. Gd day!

 

[hamasaki]

hi yasmin, how are u feeling now..

Whatever things and comments made and asked by ur team, If u dun wanna tell.. just keep quiet or told them U dun feel like telling out..

 

[odie]

Congrats to Tubby

Hope to hear from you soon.

Hi Miao2... take care ya. Still no news on my side... looks like will be induced later this week. Who knows... our babies might share the same birthday

Yasmin... take it slow ok? Don't overstress yourself at work.

 

[preggie]

Hi Odie,

Drop me an sms when you pop ok... can't wait for your good news. You've got everything packed?

what's your blog? send the link to me leh.

 

[yas]

Thanks gals. Today 1st day and already so busy. My mgr already wants me to do soooo many things.

She asked me if I have to go for any more gynae appt and wants me to be ard the following dates. So stupid rite. Where am I going? Of course i will be ard wat.

Then also say, that I and my other colleague have to cover each other as we are always going on long leaves and pregnancy issues. Then said, that it is only fair to the company. Of course when I was away on leave, I made sure my work was covered and I did not just disappear into thin air. 1st day back and so much of bombarding.

Also stupid HR dept said that they will regard my hospital leave as medical leave because it was issued by a pte hospital and cc email to my mgr. Its like I take so many days of MC, ok lah I MC Queen so wat.

 

[angry]

Yasmin,

U go MOM and check lor. MC is MC, hospitalisation leave is hospitalisation leave leh! Yr co. su ka su ka changeo ne meh?

 

[oceans]

yasmin, that is not right. How can a Hospitalised Leave became MC??? MC is MC, there is a difference between Hospital and Medical Leave!!!

 

[tan_tan]

Hi Yasmin,

Agree with Angry and Ocean that you have to fight with your HR. According to MOM, we can have only 14 days MC but up to 60 days hospitalisation leave (including MC), if they change your hospitalisation leave to MC, next time if you got sick leave that do not require hospitalization and no longer have your MC allowance, you end up no-pay. So must fight for it. They are trying to cheat you, tell them you are going to complain to MOM if they do so. I am sure you will win the case.

 

[bellybutton]

yes yasmin. a hospitalisation leave is a hospitalisation leave. there's no difference if it is issued by a private or public hospital. as long as your doctor specifies that it is hospitalisation leave, it should be accepted as that. do fight for your rights.

 

[droopy_eyes]

Hi Yasmin, nothing can be more important than your own health. Dun bother abt yr mgr. Take more MCs if u need to. The company isn't going to compensate u if u fall sick right? Take care gal.

 

[angry]

Yasmin,

I agree wif TSH, If they change it to MC, once u used up the MC, they will deduct yr pay leh! Pls fight for yr own rights

 

[munchkukie]

yasmin: a hospitalisation leave is a hospitalisation leave regardless of hospital.
hope you fight for your rights.

 

[oceans]

Yasmin, extract from mom website:-

How many days of paid sick leave is an employee entitled to in a year?
14 working days if no hospitalisation is necessary; but where hospitalisation is necessary, the 14 days would be extended up to 60 working days by the doctor. An employee is deemed to be hospitalised if he is certified by a doctor to be in need of hospitalisation although he is, in fact, not hospitalised for one reason or another.

When is an employee entitled to paid sick leave?
An employee is entitled to paid sick leave if:
(i) he has served his employer for at least 6 months; and

(ii) the sick leave is certified by the company's doctor or if no such doctor has been appointed, by a Government doctor <font color="ff0000">(including doctors from approved hospitals);</font> and

(iii) he has informed or attempted to inform his employer of his absence within 48 hours. Otherwise, he is deemed to be absent from work without permission or reasonable excuse.

Yasmin, it did state that leave other than from got hospital, it also include doctors from approved hospitals. So i think it does include pte hospital, otherwise i think those civil servant who delivered at Mt E, etc, probably got no Maternatly leave..... Cannot be right?

 

[oceans]

Yasmin, this is Section 44 of the Employment Act.

From what it wrote, as long as the Medical Officer is a certified one, then, u shld be entitled to Hospital Leave even if the leave is from pte hospital.

Sick leave.
44. (1) Any employee who has served an employer for a period of not less than 6 months shall, after examination at the expense of the employer by a medical practitioner appointed by the employer or, if no such medical practitioner is appointed, by a medical officer, be entitled to such paid sick leave not exceeding in the aggregate

(a) 14 days in each year if no hospitalisation is necessary; or

(b) 60 days in each year if hospitalisation is necessary,

36/95.


as may be certified by the medical practitioner or medical officer.

(1A) Notwithstanding subsection (1), if an employee is hospitalised for less than 46 days in any one year, his entitlement to paid sick leave for that year shall not exceed the aggregate of 14 days plus the number of days on which he is hospitalised.

(2) If an employee is certified by the medical practitioner or medical officer to be ill enough to need to be hospitalised but is not hospitalised for any reason whatsoever, the employee shall be deemed to be hospitalised for the purposes of this section.

(3) An employee who absents himself on sick leave

(a) which is not certified by a medical officer or a medical practitioner appointed by the employer; or

(b) which is certified by a medical officer, but without informing or attempting to inform his employer of such sick leave within 48 hours of the commencement thereof,

shall be deemed to absent himself from work without the permission of his employer and without reasonable excuse for the days on which he is so absent from work.

36/95.

(4) The employer shall pay the employee for every day of such sick leave

(a) where no hospitalisation is necessary, at the gross rate of pay excluding any allowance payable in respect of shift work; and

(b) where hospitalisation is necessary, at the gross rate of pay.

36/95.

(4A) Notwithstanding subsection (4), no employee shall be entitled to paid sick leave on a rest day or on a holiday to which he is entitled under section 36 or 42 or on any day of paid annual leave or on a day when he is not required to work under his contract of service or on a day when he is on leave of absence without pay granted by the employer at his request.
36/95.

(5) No employee shall be entitled to paid sick leave for the period during which he is receiving compensation for temporary incapacity under paragraph 4 of the Third Schedule to the Workmens Compensation Act.
Cap. 354.

 

[janteo]

Hi,

Wld like to seek advise... I feel a bit lost &amp; confused...

My miscarriage is due to "missed abortion"... My gynae, Dr W H Kee (from TMC) mentioned that the miscarriage is due to many reasons and not worth e $ to take tests to find out what's wrong...

Now thinking back (although miscarriage 2 mths ago), i wld like to find out wat's e reason...

Any1 who had similar experience can share?

 

[bellybutton]

hi Jan,

is this your first miscarriage? unless it is repeated miscarriage, perhaps it is really not worth the money to try and find out the reasons, and even so, even if you do the tests, you may not be able to find the reasons.

just take my case for example. my baby was already almost 6 months, and despite all the necessary tests I did- comprehensive blood tests, chromosomal tests, detailed ultrasounds, no gynae could pinpoint the actual problem, as well as the cause. only in the end after the operation, my gynae told me he suspects some errors occurred in the cell multiplication during the embryo formation stage, but even so, it is only a guess.

i know there is always a lot of soul searching after the loss of your baby.. but really.. it is not anything that you have done or eaten that has caused the loss..just like i've accepted the fact that what happened to me was just a stroke of bad luck and it ain't anyone's fault. think on the bright side.. at least we are capable of conceiving and next time round, we will most likely have better luck..

 

[bluebells]

tubby,
congratulations!

odie,
hope ur little one come out soon to meet the "aunties" here.

yasmin,
take care. dun b stressed up by ur office. i guess the insensitivity of working colleagues can get too much sometime. Think about Australia and be happy.

As for ur hospitalisation leave taken as MC, do check if the doc has ticked it as hospitalisation leave. if he has, it's ur rights to inform the HR that it shd b taken as such.

janteo,
agree wif bellybutton tat if it's the 1st miscarriage, and esp if it's at the early stage (during 1st trimester), most probably bcos of chromosomes formation somewhere gone wrong. Unless it's repeated miscarriage, then of course a doc's deeper analysis into it is necessary.
i know the fear and uncertainty has not settled yet.. anytime u need 2 talk, just find us here.

qwer,
hi, how's life? u can't pm me but anything, even just to say hi or chat, drop me a line at [email protected]. Sure missed our chats in the morning.

lyn,
paging. paging.. where r u?

sunny, confused,
how both of u getting along? thinking of both of u.. hope ur pregnancy is getting along fine!

 

[odie]

Hi Preggie... will keep you posted when I deliver. BTW... I dropped you a sms like 2 months ago asking for the contact of your lactation consultant and have yet to hear from you. Wah liao eh!!!!!