Support group - Miscarriages

Qwer - Dont get upset over your MIL. Me too didnt buy any gifts (birthday n mother's day present).My PIL n SIL oso treat me badly. Remeber i did mention that i quarrel with them in April n SIL gave me nick name. I'm oso very upset abt this till now (Bcos of their remarks - call me fat pig) i go swimming 2-3 times a week. (exercise until i got very bad muscle ache) My PIL oso didnt talk to me since then. I'm worse than u, i stay with my PIL n SIL n feel that i'm staying in prison. I really cant tahan but bobian still got to tahan.

Dont bother abt the remarks. As long as u feel keeping long hair is nice for u juz carry on. (sometime old people talk as they like - maybe they thought that they are more senior than us so can any how talk) U staying with MIL? Your hubby have sibling? since she talk without sense then no need to take it seriously. (left ear in right ear out)
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<font color="0000ff">Confused,</font>
Thks I try not to carry heavy things now. Also try to remind myself to keep back straight &amp; dun bend down to pick up things.

Thks for your suggestion. I've been '1 ear in, 1 ear out' for 5 yrs! I really dunno how I can continue to tahan her. Lucky I'm not staying with her. HB is the eldest but got 1 more brother &amp; sis. SIL staying with MIL now.

Btw, urs also very nasty. Why give u nicknames? Theh behave like that will only reflect badly on themselves. Hope u dun hv to stay with her soon.
 
qwer- Wah! u are very heng ah. Didnt stay with your MIL n SIL. Nevermind lor, every time she talk (nasty thing) u treat her that she's a ah siao n dont bother to get angry. Your BIL get married liao mah? Any children?

ya! mine very nasty. My PIL doted this daughter very much (they they 2 daughter).And let her say anythings she wants. The house belong to my hubby n yet she chase us out. (b4 that she not working n early may found a job liao) very ya ya (very proud) When she call me fat pig, i juz went for my D&amp;C (3 weeks) n rested at my parent's house.
i'll have to stay with them until they bye bye (die) cos the house belong to my hubby. To my hubby not staying with parent's mean not filial to them. So wat can i do. i really dont know wat to do. (Frankly speaking i regretted getting married) i thought of getting my own house in 3 yrs time. Dunno can boh? btw, do u know whether can i buy condo using my name only?
 
Qwer - luckily i'm a positive person, if not i sure siao or go into depression sooner or later ah. my hubby go home every late at night to avoid seeing them (even sometimes i'm very tired i still got to stay outside) That's why during my 1st failed i really tired myself out. now i was thinking no bb sos good lah if not where m i going to rest or stay. i leave it to god.
 
qwer, take care and dun do and carry heavy stuffs.. got to rest well to let ur back pain heal faster..

Forget what ur MIL said... she maybe done it on purpose or what.. Dun let her spoilt ur day..
 
<font color="119911">Confused,</font>
Sorry, I dunno whether can buy condo or not. Maybe u can check with the property agent. Or any fren in this line.

MY BIL married liao, got 1 child. My fren also told me to ignore MIL &amp; jus imagine she's insane. Everytime I try to ignore, she'll provoke me. Lucky SIL is good, not like MIL. Last nite MIL also told me to boil herbal cooling tea for HB during the weekends. Told me dun be lazy. Wah I heard already really very sad. I'm innocent ah!! Every weekend I sure boil cooling tea for my HB &amp; myself one. Why she said I lazy, said I never boil? Then I told her better go &amp; ask ur son yourself, whether I boil or not. Then she kept quiet.
 
qwer, i'm disappointed again.. thought that I have some slight chances of striking.. but who knows, my AF came today liao..

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confused, ur hubby so poor thing leh.. after work, wanna go back home to rest but can't.. cos he wanna avoid seeing his parents..

so sad..
 
Hi qwer,
I can understand how you feel. Sometimes I dont know why these pple behave this way....
Ur mil very lucky to have you as dil, if my mil were to comment on my looks I will say, 'since when you became a fashion critic?' suddenly into fashion is it? soooo angry.
Dont understand why these pple are calling us names like weak and all. Wait till we start calling them names then see wat they have to say.
 
qwer - ya! ignore wat she say. maybe she knows that u did boil herbal drink n she got nothing to say liao. it's ok (i'll check with the property agent) anyway i wont be buy until i got bb cos i dont want my bb to get influence by them (all the bad habits)

Hamasaki - Oh! dont be disappointed yeah! we jia you together. My mission oso fail liao. got spotting n AF coming anytime.
 
<font color="aa00aa">Hamasaki,</font>
I fully understand how u feel now leh....feel like hugging u all &amp; cry now.

<font color="119911">Hi Yasmin,</font>
Long time never heard fr u...where u went hah? Thanks....I also dun understand why those MIL treat their DIL like that. During CNY, MIL saw my gal &amp; commented that my gal looks dirty &amp; ugly like those dirty children outside. I told my parents, my parents very angry. Cos I always groom my 2 yr old gal nicely. She wears nice dress &amp; clothes everytime &amp; I trim her hair neatly all the time. I always tie up her nice &amp; put clips, very nice &amp; cute one. My gal only problem is cos seldom see my MIL, my gal will shy away, never allow MIL to carry her from bb till now. My HB who's always very protective over my gal, but CNY when MIL said remarks abt my gal, HB juz kept quiet. He didn't do anything or say anything to his mum. I scolded him after we went home. He juz told me dun bother abt his mum. He said as long as we think our gal is nice &amp; pretty can liao, dun bother abt his mum.

Sometimes all these little matters with MIL &amp; HB not siding me really puts me off when comes to TTC. No mood already lor...u get what I mean?
 
Recently, I too had an incident with my SIL.

HB and I were at SIL's work pl and decided to give her a ride home as it was near her knock off time. I even bought for her daughter a piece of cake frm secret receipe not cheap leh, 1 slice is $5. Stupid SIL was talking abt her cholestrol level, and I commented that she very slim and exercises alot how come still can have high level. Told her HB's company doc mentioned tat all depends on 1's lifestyle and eating habit. She got sooooo angry with me and said its because of her family genes that she got high level. Then my HB, also agreed with her. I was wondering, wah man no need to get angry wat....I cant even say anything ah? Then, I noticed that she was staring at me. Cos, hubby was seating infront, me and sil were at the back, HB cld not see her staring at me. Then her pl came and she got down. She did not even say bye to me and just stood there looking at my HB and waving to him. I was looking at her but she never looked at me at all. Wonder wat I did.

I have notice several times that I cant say anything to my SIL. She will get angry with what ever I say and give me stares. Which my HB has noticed too but he always brushes it off by saying you know she is like that always stares at pple.
Ahhhhh.... I cant be bothered. I will say whatever i please, whatever that makes sense to me. I do not insist that everyone has to think the same way as me cos all are have their own views its a free world. STUPID SIL! I HATE U!
 
Hi qwer, I totally understand abt not in the mood to TTC. Cos, we women have to feel wanted, loved and understood for us to enjoy it. Most of the time men dun 'remember' this. They defintely know this need of ours but dont bother to keep it in mind lor.

I have been busy at work recently and also juz shifted to my mum's place so abit unsettled. Getting myself adjusted to living in 1 small rm frm being in a big 5-rm flat which was all to myself and HB.
 
Qwer Dun be so upset by SIL and MIL can understand ur frustration. Luckily me dun have this kind of problem cos they dun dare to say me face to face... kekeke, my HB will say them back SIL more demanding and of course MIL will side them lah last time SIL was worst but after I learn how to talk back and with the help of my HB, she is now scared she sometime come with PIL to come to my hs to stay, if she dare to provoke me, I will chase her out

Hamasaki dun be sad. Relax and hope AF will stop coming for the following 10mths

Lyn How???

Me got my second hormones test result on sat, glad that the hormones are increasing as expected but still need to take care
 
qwer - Aiyo! your MIL really siao leh. how can she comment on your daughter. yalor! dont care wat people say so long u n hubby feel that your gal gal beautiful can liao.

yasmine - Can understand your feeling. My SIL oso the same. Can say people but cant let people say her. (very funny she say that her elder brother - my hubby didnt respect her). When we quarrel n i told her that if u want people to respect u, u should respect people first. My hbby alwasy gives in to her. CNY give her ang bao n she didnt even greet us/her brother n oso didnt say thank u. (seems like we owe her) I really HATE PIL n SIL very very much
 
Pochacco - Wow so happy for u. Rest more yeah! Dont walk too much. So nice of your hubby to side u. My hubby never side me whenever i talk abt PIL N SIL. Worse ah, b4 PIL n SIl n i quarrel, hubby side them very very much. when i first got married, my FIL bought breakfast 4 us (i didnt ask him to buy n he bought for me the 3rd time only)he put coins inside the food. Eeee! As u know $ very dirty n he treated us tis way. i didnt eat until evening we go shopping n i told hubby i very hungry n told him abt PIl purposely put $ n hubby chose to listern to MIL say that FIL didnt do it on purpose. i was so angry but luckily hubby see a bit of their true colour liao. If not i'll vomit blood sooner or later. (PIL n SIL really know how to act innocent)
 
thanks qwer, pochacco and confused for ur conforting words and encouragement..I'm feeling awful today and yesterday.. Was out yesterday to celebrate Mother's Day and my hubby said something that upset me a lot.. Nearly cried leh..

feel like shooting and bang his head at that time.. Idoit hubby...


qwer, thanks thanks... me too also feel like hugging U all and burst my eyes out..
 
confused and yasmin, ur PIL and SIL are really a bunch of big bullies and unreasonable people.. They really treat u like dirt leh.. So pissed of by such people..


qwer, Why is ur MIL like that huh.. really so bad and mean of her to said such hurting words leh... If for me, after so many times of mean and terrible words, i will sure shoot back at her.. talk or argue back with her whatever.. will never give her face....
 
hamasaki,
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Dun b down, u can always try again. Look 4ward 2 a better 2mrw.
yah.. help u 'wack' hubby. So insensitive! *wink*

qwer,
how's ur cough?
u really can tolerate... 5 yrs of ur MIL nonsense.
If i were u, the least i have any involvement with the MIL, the better.
could she have said that abt ur daughter bcos her own grandchild dun even wan her 2 carry?
it could be like a loss of face for her, and in order to hit back, she'll target u, especially. Whilst ur gal is still at a tender age, it's okie. But when she starts to understand things, then u'll have to explain things 2 her b4 she starts to get confusing messages from grandma.
 
Me agree with hamasaki, I very possesive of my son. If anyone dare say anything abt his looks or behaviour I will give them a piece of my mind. So far, SIL only said that my son got flat nose when she saw him when he infant 3 wks old. But till today, did not say anything. She better not or else, I will flare up and she will see my true colors. I can be such a devil at times! kekekeke

I have also warned my hb b4, if any one of his family side of relation were to say anything abt my son sure to kena frm me. And kena so bad that scar will stay a life time.
 
hi hama
don't feel too sad about it. try again next month. me also telling myself that. AF is due tomorrow. no symptom of preggie till today. *sigh* next cycle work harder.
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hi qwer
i also feel that my mil wasn't really treat me as her half daughter. feel quite sad about that. but keep telling myself that she needs more time and i shouldn't expect her to treat me really nice.

remember 2 or 3 weeks ago, i got quite a bad cough and she knew about it. but not a concerning word from her or anything. then last week my hb's turn to have bad cough. when she 1st heard my hb's cough, she asked him what he had eaten to cause cough, the next day, she brought boiled mint tea for him. and this week, she bought sweets for him which could lighten the cough situation. i just felt so dis-heartened but didn't tell my hb about it.
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sometimes when i think of all these things, my evil part will tell me to ignore my mil and don't need to put effort to stay close to her and understand her. but my angel side tells me to let go of the sad feeling and look at the bright side....
 
Sunny - i'm juz like u oso. Sometimes angry with PIL n SIL my evil side will tell me to ignore them but sometimes i soft hearted. sometimes i feel like giving SIL a slap n tearing down the house. My MlL oso never cook nice food for us. (anyway i only eaten 3 times ever since i married to my hubby. During CNY ,she cook nice food for his daughters n son in law n relative. Yesterday morning was raining heavily n she cook breakfast for PIL n SIL she didnt even ask us whether we want to eat or not.

Yamine - wah! u serious ah (leave a scar life time)i think i'll be like u oso, if i have children n whoever critise my children i no give face oso.
 
hi gals gd afternoon.so many postings.... juz manage to read some.

qwer: i think ur mil really too much. how can she gave such comment to her own granddaughter. can understand ur feeling.

hamasaki: dont despair, work harder next cycle. me too lookg forward to my next cycle to try again.

confused: wen i notice the change in my sympton, i was quite worried tat D&amp;C might cause us infertility. But to think of it, there r also gals who got preggie &amp; deliver healthy bb
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after their D&amp;C...i think i juz being paranoid
 
<font color="aa00aa">Pochacco,</font>
I'm so happy for u that ur hormone level is increasing well. Really very happy for u &amp; also envy u!! You're lucky....ur HB side u leh....

<font color="0000ff">Hamasaki, Bluebells, Sunny, Confused, Yasmin,</font>
Thanks ladies, I also think my MIL really siao to say such things to me &amp; my gal. My HB never side me nor his mum. He'll juz zip his mouth. Guess he doesn't want to interfere &amp; hurt any of us. I'm 'building gold' inside my heart, hee...hee...cos I keep telling myself to ren ren ren!! Chinese saying 'Bai ren chen jing'.

<font color="ff0000">Bluebells,</font>
Thks my cough has subsided. A lot better now. Btw, I'm also thinking MIL purposely target on me cos her grandchild (ie. my gal) refused to let her carry. I believe my gal's strong refusal was also created by MIL herself. Last time when my gal still a baby (abt 7-8 mths), we brought her to visit MIL. MIL wan2 carry her but will snatch her away fr my HB's arms abruptly. Like this sure my bb gal cried lah. Then MIL pushed my gal back to my HB's arms &amp; said "Ok lah, return to Daddy". I remembered clearly that my bb gal still crying in HB arms. Then MIL used her index finger &amp; pointed at my gal (very close to her nose) &amp; scolded her "Cry Cry Cry, U go home lah".

Wah, I'm also very protective like <font color="ff0000">Yasmin,</font> so that time I couldnt' tahan anymore &amp; I told MIL off. I raised my voice &amp; confronted MIL, asked her what's the problem &amp; she realised I was angry &amp; quickly walked to kitchen. MIL said she didn't scold my bb, &amp; commented that my bb will not remember when she grow up. I think otherwise, I told MIL that my gal next time grow up will either fear or hate this grandma &amp; will refuse to go her hse. Fr that time onwards we seldom go her hse liao. Every 2-3 mths when my HB said go then I go unwillingly. Btw, I had a big quarrel with HB that time after MIL scolded my bb gal. Cos my HB juz stood there mumb &amp; let his mum scold my bb!

Sorry ladies, I know this is m/c support group but I nag &amp; talk a lot on MIL which is totall different issue. But after last nite's incident hor...I really need somebody to listen &amp; talk to me lor.

<font color="119911">Sunny &amp; Hamasaki,</font>
Let's jia you together. Once our AF comes, we'll feel disappointed definitely. The other thing is to encourage each other &amp; let's hold hands &amp; <font color="0000ff">JIA YOU together.</font> I'm sure our wish will come true one day!!
 
<font color="ff6000">Hi all,</font>
Juz heard that 1 of my colleague is pregnant. She was on MC for the past 2 mths &amp; returns today for work. Dunno how many mths is she now cos dare not talk or ask her questions. I see her tummy still flat. This is her 2nd pregnancy. Her 1st child alredy 4 yrs old. This time round, she looks terribly pale &amp; weak. Heard fr another colleague that past few mths she couldn't even sit up straight, very weak &amp; hv to lie on bed entire day. Now when she talks to pple (sitting on the chair), she also feel very weak &amp; breathless. Really hope that she will feel better soon.
 
hello gals...
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wa... so many posts today. Mother's day was spent going to hard rock cafe without mothers to have an hefty meal for brunch... hahaha... Just with my sisters and hubby. Then go there see many many kids and mothers...
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Last nite, I was reading a magazine which says hubby will have a baby this month, then I told hubby bluff one
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cos last month that magazine also said hubby can start a family last month. But hubby comforted me la
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About all the MIL, have you gals think about picking up some skills to deal with the difficult MILs and SILs? I went to Borders yesterday and read a few pages of a book on "dealing with difficult people". Seems like there are 7 kinds of difficult people. I also bought some books on communication. Maybe will share with you gals on communication if there's anything useful and interesting...
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K, I gotta continue to do my work already. Chat later...
 
<font color="aa00aa">Hi Lyn,</font>
wah u didn't celebrate with ur MIL ah? Thks, do give up some tips if u happened to read anything which u think might be useful to us.
 
qwer,
do not worri abt topic diversion. tho it's m/c thread, i would like to think that we have come so far together we can share things other than just our BB future. Here is a thread to talk abt other things that bother you.

i would like to think this thread as a place whereby i can put all my other thots 2.
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I have learnt something interesting last week from a "life coach".
He said babies or kids learn subconsciously also. They are still learning when they are sleeping cos they are on the "dream mode" most of the time. I was told that if a kid sleep with the parents and the parents argue in the room while the baby is sleeping, those nasty words used in the argument will also go into the baby's brain...
 
cafe - ya! me too but i heard friends saying that it's easy to conceive after m/c. Even my previous gynae told me that its better than those who can conceive at all. so need to worry. maybe we too anxious n stressful liao. u taking any vit or supplement?

Qwer - no worries. can understand your feeling. (feel free to vent your anger or fustration here)we are here to help/console one another. i oso feel that i can put my thoughts.
 
Confused - wat i know from the gynae is that the most fertile is 3 mths after M/C which some of the gynae say cannot try... after that the fertility will drop to normal...
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confused: ya i heard tat too. the only supplement i m taking now is folic acid...wonder is it enough or muz we take other vit???

qwer: good to blare out. sometime we tried to hide such bad feeling, we will hv more negative tot.... pour all out (though we may not able to help u much) but least u knw tat some of the gals here are also experiencing similar situation as u
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qwer,
hehe... no le... We did not even go back for dinner yesterday
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. After the heavy brunch at HRC, too full to have dinner also.. hehe... But we did bring my PIL and my parents for a good meal at Hu Cui two weeks ago
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Two families togather la... That meal is for mothers' day.
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"One stone kills two birds".
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<font color="0000ff">Thank u everybody,</font>
Thks for ur understanding to allow me to blare all out, hee...hee...

<font color="119911">Hey Pochacco,</font>
I like ur big red flower!!

I browse thro some tour agent's packages. Some hv like short family trips to Bangkok - 2 adults + 1 child. The child is FOC. So only pay for 2 adults. Going to persuade my HB to go leh....but dunno he can put down his work or not sigh.....
 
lyn: i agree lei. my first pregnancy aso very unexpected. i tried for five cycles &amp; wen i was abt to give up aka to take a break, i found out i preggie. but too bad it make me happy for juz a short while as i was told by gynae to go for D&amp;C coz cannot detect my fetus.... sigh!!
 
cafe - ya! but y gynae say wont get pregnant for the nect 2-3mths after D&amp;C. i was told very fertile during that period. My gynae give me folic acid n multi vit but now i stop taking liao. now thought of taking Royal jelly. (heard that its gd for woman n man)

Lyn - i agree with u. Want bb must be stress free n news come unexpected.

Pochacco - yalor! very confusing leh . i dont know who is right n who is wrong.
 
<font color="0000ff">Confused,</font>
Ya lor, must be stress free leh.... This morning I asked my HB:" When will I get pregnant again?" He said "When U dun think abt it, then you'll strike". Aiyoh....how can dun think abt it when u want it leh? Make yourself busy &amp; then no time to think of it?

Actually hor....there's no right or wrong answer one my dear <font color="0000ff">Confused.</font> I think when we least expect it, it'll come. Somebody once told me, let the baby look for us better. It's easier than we look for him/her.

Today I'm CD22 liao. This time, I dare not hope for anything. Hope I won't feel as bad as last mth if my AF comes on CD28-29 this mth. Sometimes I think to myself, got egg, jia you already but still can't strike. Why why? Then I'll try to psycho myself - it's all fated. How many children we can hv ultimately, it's all fated.
 
confused: it aso pulzzed me wen my gynae kept reminding me not to get preggie for at least 2 cycles after D&amp;C. if we r really tat fertile for the next 3 cycle after D&amp;C.... then y gynae stop us fm getting preggie lei???? anyway, if it is true tat we r very fertile for the next 3 cycle after D&amp;C, i will only left wif this mth (my last fertile cycle) to try.... but i m not going to give up though i might not strike!! muz remain positive.
 
qwer - hee! i agree leh but how can we stop thinking hor.
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ya i oso believe its fated. My ex-colleague very heng, her AF only come 2 a yr n yet she's able to conceive. Now she's a mother of 2 liao (a boy n a gal) oh ya! i agree with cafe, when u almost give up or didnt think abt it bb will pop. think too much n no bb. tis mth i tell myself i want to forget liao so that i get gd news soon
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cafe - ya! after my D&amp;C n 3 weeks later we start action liao. And was told cant get pregnant n bcos of this i didnt sleep well every nite. Everyday waiting for my 1st AF to come n then fang xin liao. Try not to stress yourself. oh ya! i oso drink Dome 2-3 times a week (its gd for us leh)

Bye! i cant chat liao. My customer coming. Chat with u gals tomoro
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Confused - me still veri stubborn, try once even before 1st AF come and strike already... think really very fertile during this period... kekeke...
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Baby Dust to all of you... and hopefully all can be 2006 mum...
 


confused,
I also heard that royal jelly is good. I will be trying it out too. Over the weekends, I went to my friend's place and tried her royal jelly, it taste very nice... she takes one teaspoon daily.

cafe,
Better dun give yourself an "expiry date" or dateline. It will get very stressful... I gave myself that timeline a few months ago... and I was so stressed up over TTC and even throw temper on my poor hubby...
 
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