IVF/ICSI Support Group

[dec]

Develyn,

Very sorry to hear about your miscarriage...

take your time to grieve and pick up after that to try again... Take Care!!!

Itjabi,

Me too... Going for my counselling next week. Then I think most of the things all done and prob wait for next cycle to come then prepare to start....

 

[dec]

Develyn,

I believe it is normal. Afterall, u just experienced a very sad thing....

After awhile, you should be able to pick yourself up...

Maybe after a rest, you can go away for a short holiday... should be good for the mind and body to just go away and relax for awhile and come back refreshed...

 

[develyn]

Hi Jas , is the charges reasonable for Eu yang san.. sorry cos i still need to save money for second try mths later .. :S

 

[develyn]

Hi December , do agree that i should go for a holiday.. the problem is i have already taken alot of leaves and mc for the process. Afraid that i will get sack..

Btw, do u know if second times IVF , govt still subsidise ?

 

[tany]

<font color="0000ff">Develyn</font>

Sorry to hear about your m/c. I understand how you feel as I had a mid-term m/c before. Cry if u wan, you need time to get over wat happened.

Did your doc give u HL to rest at home? Please do a mini-confinement to nurse ur body. Avoid cooling stuff ok.

Stay strong and positive. #hugz &amp; kisses#

 

[jas1982]

eu yan san cost a little more i spent about $1k plus almost 2k for medication and acupuncture. She advises to tio for at least 3 mths before embarking on IVF again. for a slightly cheaper but still good chinese doctor, Dr Zou from Ang mo kio is not bad, I do not see her anymore... can anyone give the address and contact pls?

 

[jas1982]

develyn, government subsidies for up to 3 fresh cycles. but cpf claim is only $6k first time , $5k second and 4k third.

 

[blisstan]

develyn,
yes, it is normal to feel so sad to cry at any moment in this stage. I know the feeling. I also experienced depression for a period of time when I was ttc. I felt I was all alone facing the infertility problem when no one around me has such agony. It was only after I joined this forum when I started my first ivf last Aug and really talked to and asked ladies here and realised that I am not alone. It really helped alot. You can always post your feelings and thoughts here.

I cried badly after every failed cycle when my menses came over the three years of ttc. After my failed iui last year, I also felt like a total failure and really emotionally collapsed and cried for days! It was like end of the world.

It also helps to read more books about infertility especially on how to cope with the stress and emotional roller coaster.
You may want to read this book called 'The Infertility Survival Guide' by Judith C. Daniluk. The book was given by an ex colleague of mine who had gone thru 5 iuis and 4 ivfs and had her 2 sons thru the ivfs.

I read it during my ivf journey and cried at times when I can really relate to what the book wrote about the feelings of going thru infertility treatment. However, I think it helped me to grow stronger in a way.

Yes, it is very hurting to hear any family members to say such words. I got lots of unintentional hurting remarks from friends, colleagues. You must be strong and like what your hubby said, just try again. Men are usually not that good at words, so I guess what he said might make you feel unfeeling too. My hubby is like that too, saying the same thing to me after every failed cycle. But believe that your hubby does care and love you more than anything, just not good at words. I am sure he feels very sad to see you so hurt and miserable. So you must stay positive no matter what. Perhaps this is just not the perfect time your babies to come to you. But you must believe that you will be blessed with your bundles of joy sooner or later, at the right time, ok?

Take time to rethink lots of thing in your life and perhaps you will find all these upsetting experiences can also be very meaningful and positive to you from another perspective too.

It is always easier for me to said than done. But I still hope my long-winded message here is a kind of help to heal your wounds.
Take care of your physical and emotional health at the meantime. These are the most important factors to have your babies soon again.
Smile to yourself next time you look at the mirror. You must admit that you are a brave person who are able to face all these tests and you deserve a smile to yourself everyday.

 

[dec]

develyn,

yeah... understand. especially in these financial crisis...

maybe can wait for a long weekend to come and go for nearby destinations?

one upcoming in April... but so far hor... he he...

 

[melosdis]

libby - hmmm, agree with you that going private is very ex... I am with CARE, and my gynae is Dr Paul Tseng.. I have no complains with/abt him, but then again, i have been with him for quite a long time liao, but i do think that a change of Gynae will be good for you.. I do believe that you will need to find the suitable gynae for you, and may that gynae have success with you... i see that you are going to try Mr Loh.. lotsa baby dust for you **sprinkle sprinkle**


develyn - i am so sorry for your loss... the crying is very normal.. with my first loss.. i cry at the sky, i cry at the moon, i cry in my sleep.. i cry in toilet... i cry at my desk.. will, practically everything and everywhere makes me cry.. i have to honestly confess that one never truly gets over the loss, you just have to learn to stand up, deal with it and move on..

juju - heh.. yeah.. i guess i was rude enough to put them on the spot, that they just had to walk away from me..

 

[linaang]

Hi develyn,
try not to think of the past and look forward to your next try. Take care.

Hi jas,
thanks for the link. I bought my strips here:
http://tiny-shop.blogspot.com/
They have higher sensitive strips that cost a little more. But it's good for us trying ivf whose HCG sometimes can be very low during 2WW.

 

[pooh_baby]

Bliss - where can I purchase the book?

 

[develyn]

Hi Bliss ,

Thank u so much. The long messages really awaken me that i only gone thru' one failure and should stay positive and brave to go to the next challenge. I do agree that man is really not good in words. Well , as for my mother-in-law , she went MIA after i told her the news yesterday morning- might be a good time for me to get over. Can i know where to buy the book ? Really interesting and i really wants to read.

Dear Mel ,

Think u really knows my feeling now that i am crying at all place.. well, i give myself another day to cry and i guess i should get over... if not , i will prepare a pc of wood to knock some senses to my brain. *Bleahz*

Hi Lina ,

Will be moving forward very soon.. Will stay in this forum and share all the experience and hear grief and happiness from everyone.

Hi Jas , really abit expensive le... Hmm i think abt it.. meanwhile , i will stay healthy lifestyle and do more exercise.

 

[blisstan]

Zaza, develyn,
I am not sure where my ex colleague bought this book. Think she bought it quite a few years ago in a bookstore, cost $36.98 on the price tag.
I think you can also borrow it from any regional libraries, it is not a new arrived book anyway.
If really cant find it, tell me, perhaps I can pass mine to you.

develyn,
glad to hear that from you. Really hope you will be feeling better and hopeful for the next try very soon. But also, dont push or force yourself to be strong and happy within such a short period. It is really fine and normal to feel down and unhappy now. Time is always the best medicine to help healing. Just dont give up. I know you wont give up too.

Jia you!

 

[sierra79]

Hi develyn,

I feel for you. What Bliss said made a lot of sense. Do be strong and shut out insensitive people like your MIL. Sometimes, you only need you and only you to heal your sorrow after what happened. Others may listen to your story, but they can never understand fully. The strength to move on has to come from you. And yes, think about it. You're such a strong woman ... to go through years of TTC, and then the long process of ivf. So you're much stronger than you think.

We'll all be here to lend a listening ear, and to crack a joke or two to bring a smile to your face again. hehehe ... Chin up aye!

 

[clcyeo]

Thanks Juju, will do that! might be walking between toilet and sofa and bed and shower unit during then...

Hi Sierra, when we come to it, we'll cross. let's just start with believing in it, k? my menses also not too accurate. but good to put in a date cos my hubby flies abt too often. haha...like a project, got to coordinate meetings...

Hi ladies, what i have heard from kkivf team (hope i dun remember wrongly...do check it out)

1st consultation - Pay on your own
Blood test - about $280 (including my hubby and before GST)
Clinic D subsequent consultations: $50.
(paid $150 at private clinics before but popular docs always have long queue anyway...)


There are 5 stages for IVF and
1st stage for injection of lucrin, puregon, sperm storage etc. cannot be claimed against medisave or co-fund.

After 2nd stage, claim begins, dun need to pay.

You will also have to consider if you will want to activate the medisave or co-fund should you stop the cycle due to personal reasons or unsuccessful trial. But there are only 3 times for the funding. Better than a lot of countries out there actually so I am very thankful on that.

For the govt grants,
check out http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/print/370003/1/.html

1) Co-fund up to $3k (Wife Singaporean+ Husband Singaporean up to $3k, Singaporean+PR up to $2.7k, Singaporean+Foreignor up to $1.5k)

2) Medisave $6k for 1st attempt, $5k 2nd attempt, $4k 3rd attempt (not sure whether combined medisave from both hubby and wife or either or)

Deliberated over posting notes from KK on this forum cos it is good to sit through the consultation with the team - took about 2 hours for me to clear all my questions with her. honestly, i only remembered 10 - 20%... The money and some dates...

 

[pooh_baby]

Hey All,

iwant5bbs - Just out of curiousity - roughly how much must we pay for the 1st stage?

 

[jas1982]

hi develyn, it is good to be positive and take care and good luck for your next try

any one here can give her the contact for Dr Zou? she is good but less expensive...

hi lina,
the reason why i took the lower sensitive cause i want to be sure hehe. I have been getting a faint pink line, even today so will continue to test and see

 

[sagimoo]

hi libby,

u can call kkivf appointments, just ask when is dr loh next available slot. also fyi, i understand that certain days of the week you can arrange for night appointment. check with the nurse.

i did my ivf last year dec.. nt succesful.. will be starting my next cycle when my af comes.

wishing you luck for your coming cycle..

 

[sagimoo]

hi libby,

not sure about clinic d cos i came to this forum to get to know private suite. guess for private suite patient the charges is slightly higher than clinic d but not significant about $10 more. also clinic waiting period is very long. at private suite, though gotta wait but not that long. no referral letter is required.

 

[develyn]

Hi Bliss ,

Thanks , i will go and find from the library and book store 1st.. Feeling better now except one of my colleague just says congrats to me that i am pregy as they heard that from my boss last week.. Zzzz.. when i reply to say i have a miscarriage , that person face filled with guilt.. lolz and apologise non-stop.. i dunno should i laugh or cry so i just walk away..

Hi Zaza,

If i found it , i will keep you posted too.

Hi Sierra ,

Yes , Bliss and Mel really pull me up alot with their words.. alots that i will look at the mirror and say i will be strong and stand up again. I am very confuse on why am i crying when craking jokes with my colleagues until Mel written "with my first loss.. i cry at the sky, i cry at the moon, i cry in my sleep.. i cry in toilet... i cry at my desk.. will, practically everything and everywhere makes me cry". And Mel stands up today so i am sure i can too.. i will sure stand up very soon. !

Hope lots of baby dust in this forum..

 

[develyn]

Hi Jas , i know which one already.. my cousin told me abt. the TCM. Ok, i will go and check it out. Most important , i will see Dr Loh to do a DC wash to confirm no foetus left over. :S

 

[dec]

Develyn,

Do take care!

I'm sure you will be strong...

 

[develyn]

Dear all , i just receive the deduction amt. from CPF board. There is only a deduction of 3.5K. I have paid less than $1200 cash. The rest i think govt pay bahz.. not sure abt. it.. for those of u who feel pressure on the payment at KKIVF , just relax.. just have enough to go to get medicine from pharmacy.. for regular check up or consultation - if u dun have enough $ , u can just go home 1st and pay on next visit. I can say that KK is quite flexible, as long as u pay end of the process , it will be fine.

 

[develyn]

Hi Dec , yes .. i am trying to do that too.. still tears a little but it will be soon over..

 

[develyn]

Btw , anyone knows if there is cure for thick egg shells ?

 

[dec]

Develyn,

maybe TCM can help with thick egg shells?

last time i visit this sinseh at JE and she said her medicine will soften the egg shell and easier for penetration... not so sure if it's true...

 

[develyn]

Hi Dec

oh great.. any contacts of her ? I think it is worth to try before my 2nd IVF in the next few mths. I have check that follopian tubes are ok and the i am ovulating. Only thing that i recall is that the embryologist says that i have hard/thick eggs shells and ICSI used for 2 embryo and the rest collapse under IVF process. U think worth to try ?

 

[dec]

Develyn,

actually my experience with her wasn't too good. was not comfy with her and it's really tough to get an appt with her. have to q very very early in the morn just to see her for 10mins...

i won recommend her....

but maybe i can help u check with Dr. Zou whether TCM will aid in thick shells... i will recommend Dr. Zou anytime over that Jurong sinseh... just my two cents worth...

but thick/hard shells is it can use assisted hatching etc to help the embryo?

 

[develyn]

Hi December ,

you mean u can help me check with Dr Zou from Ang mo kio ? That will be great ! Please keep me posted k.. Btw, if you have the contact , please let me also.. Thick eggs shells must use lazer which is the assist hatching such as ICSI lor..

Hi Jas ,

Heez.. my cousin says she know which one but dun have the no. and just know how to know roughly how to get there.. so i still need the contact.

 

[dec]

Hi Dev,

I see... Maybe next round can request all the eggs do ICSI and don wan IVF? possible?

Sure, I will help u check with her. I'm seeing her on Fri. Update you again.

Is it you want Dr. Zou's contact? Here it is. 64560833

 

[develyn]

Dear Dec ,

Yes, i will be requesting with Dr. Loh the next time to do all ICSI - quite expensive : 2 ICSI abt $600++ .. but they didnt ask me and took 6embryo for IVF and 2 for ICSI the last time.. lolz and i have no freezing.

Ok, i will wait for your news on Friday if there are such herbs.. also help me check how long it takes to "tio" the shells k..

 

[dec]

Hi Dev,

Oh... Do we need to pay the extra charges in cash for requesting all ICSI?

Okie. I will try to update as soon as I can after seeing her. =)

I'm also keen to know.

 

[linaang]

Hi jas,
that's great. BFP! think BFP! Hope to hear your good news soon.

Hi develyn,
agree, kk is very flexible in this. Sometimes i forget to pay after blood test or urine test, then they post me the invoice to make payment.

 

[develyn]

Hi Dec ,

Hmm.. Definately extra charges applied but that was deducted by Medisave / Co-funded so i didnt pay cash. I just saw the bill as 600++ and i only have two ICSI. That's like u say assist hatching by laser and use micro needles to inject the sperm into the eggs lor..

 

[develyn]

Hi Lina ,

Yes .. haha me too... but as long as must clear it .. i think they dun mind lor.. KK should be rich now.. many ppl choosing them due to the subsidise.. heez.

Hi Jas ,

U MUST JIA YOU and rest well.. wait for your good news okie.. Bless u ...

 

[breezy]

Hi develyn,

I totally understand how you feel. Had miscarriage two months ago. I was told my baby girl stop growing at week 10 when I had my details scan at week 12. Had D&amp;C done the next day and sent the tissues for chromosome test. The test showed that my baby is trisomy 21 (Down's syndrome)and confirmed is a girl.

I still grieve......at the same time I am waiting for another window to be openned for me. You may consider to borrow "Pregnancy after a Loss" by Carol Cirulli Lanham from library. This book really teached me how to deal with my lost.

Lastly, pls take care and remember to do a mini confinement after D&amp;C.

 

[chris_baby]

Hi develyn,

Sorry to hear about your loss..

Be brave !!! Dun dispair, at least you know that you are able to get pw during the first try of ivf. Do go for a mini confinement to tio your body and avoid cold stuff. I'm currently seeing Dr zou AMK and is very comfortable with her as she knows alot about ivf and is able to assist me with the queries. Dr Zou has explained that keeping our womb warm is very impt as it helps the embryo to implant and stick to the womb. Hence she has advised me to avoid cold drinks, and eating fruits straight from the refrigerator etc...

Hi ladies,

Hmmm.. My menses should be coming on 26th Jan CNY, was wondering if KKIVF is closed on that day as thought of starting my lucrin shots that week...

 

[libby]

Hi Develyn

I've seen the chinese sinseh from JE before too. It's call Ying Chuan Medical. I went on a sunday morning, queue already started to form by 4:30am, it start to give out nos. around 6plus. Was told she was very good, but apparently found out she will diagnose everybody with PCOS (give you lots of chinese medicine to eat-not cheap) and refer to see Dr Christopher Chen of Gleneagles (whom he will definitely concur with her and ask you go for unnecessary surgery). He's super expensive too. Somehow many pp think they are both from China and seem to affiliate each other with recommendations, not sure if earn any commission in between. I stopped seeing both, feeling may get con..

I tried Raffles Chinese Medicine for accupunture recently (even though my IVF not successful).. this Dr Jin was mentioned several times in newspaper articles in her expertise to help boost IVF. I find the charges are reasonable not so expensive compare to EYS. It is $350 for 5 session, first time consultation think $50. Dr Jin is quite nice, and will share with you her experiences with other patients on IVF. I think my next IVF preparation, I'll still go back to her. No medication given for my case.

Most importantly for you now, is take good care of your body, eat well and maybe start an exercise routine to build up your body, before your next try.

All the best to you..

 

[libby]

Hi Mel

Can I check if you did your IVF with Dr Paul Tseng and succeeded?

I went for my post IVF review today. Was told that to consider doing another trial transfer (this time under GA), to see if any difficulties making the path from cervix to uterus. This way, my womb will be not tramautized. Other pp's transfer take abt 5-10 mins, mine up to 45 mins, it cause me such bad cramps esp the poking trying push through. If successful, next real transfer to use same method.

If not successful, 2 other alternatives to consider : 1 is put a plug at my vagina to increase the dilation of cervix for a period of time, few days before real transfer, then remove. Another method is go through laproscopy/GIFT, that means transfer instead to my uterus, but to my tubes instead. This will cost even more, another 6K.

I will make appt with Dr Loh and discuss what other options available before i decide again.

Hi Sagimoo

I have quited my job to fully concentrate on this expensive treatment, so maybe I can make appt for daytime, night time will be more crowded. Tks for your info

 

[chris_baby]

Hi Libby/Develyn,

I've seen the chinese sinseh at JE too.. she was very pushy and recommended Dr chris chen and Dr Fong yang to us. She loves to diagnose woman with pcos and guys fatty liver. As I've already heard alot of negative feedback abt Dr chris chen before i went to see her, hence chose Dr Fong yang instead. Had a very bad experience with him during my 2nd lapro and have started going to see him. Now currently with Dr Loh KK and Dr Zou and are very comfortable with both.

 

[melosdis]

libby - yup, i succeeded.. i am currently pregnant with twin boys @ 21 weeks right now..

One of the reasons that i am with Dr Paul Tseng, is that he is rather open to all suggestions... i do have a tendency to question doctors.. and as you know, for all of us girls here, in our quest for motherhood, many of us probably have tried different gynaes over time. As for me, i have followed many docs, and have questioned/argued with them. Some will brush you off, some will tell you not to think too much, some will simply not do detailed explainations with you. I read abt Dr Paul Tseng being open to suggestions.. so, i decided to try.. i found that he was willing to listen and work with me over any issues that might arise.. he will sometimes push me to read literature online or on books to understand my own conditions or the treatments that he'll be trying, more.. With him, i have gone through clomid cycles, IUIs, ectopic pregnancies and lastly, IVF.. i am indeed lucky enough to succeed this round...

Are you entitled to the govt subsidies? if yes, i would urge you to try the govt hospitals first.. from the sisters here, Dr Loh seems very experienced, mabbe a change of doc will really be the lucky charm for you, unless you are super comfy with dr Paul Tseng...

i know how much i have spent on this quest, and i do know it is not cheap... i wish you all the best in this journey, and lots of baby dust for you..

develyn - glad that you took heart in my experience.. i knew some good will come out of whatever i've gone thru. And i am so so glad that it does give you some comfort..

take heart!! lots of baby dust to you too!!

 

[sierra79]

Hi Iwant5bbs. Wow, think you gleaned a lot of info in that 2hr sitting. I also have a lot of queries now. Jotting down all the qns that popped into my mind. Can we just drop in to KKivf ctre and ask to see one of the nurses to talk about our qns??

I agree with you .. really like planning a project. Must actually map out a timeline for all these - for the benefit of my boss, for my hubby and also cos I'm not based in SIN. Not easy wor ...

Hi Develyn,
Maybe you could help me with my qn ... I was told that they'll combine IVF and ICSI together. But not all the eggs will be meant for ICSI? I assumed that whatever no. of eggs extracted, will perform ICSI on all. No ... ?? If hubby's sperm quality isn't that great, will ICSI increase chances of +ve fertilisation compared to just normal ivf?

 

[jas1982]

hi everyone, from what i heard, the JE TCM not too reliable... hehe Dr Zou and Dr Zhong both said, which ever doctor, without asking you to go to a gyne to check for PCOS is rubbish, Dr Zhong esp said that a good chinese TCM doctor will never assume such things and will never push patients to see a particular Gyne. Sad to say, even the good TCM doctors say because of a few black sheep, a lot of people shun chinese medication... which i totally agree cause before this haha i will never in my life see a Chinese doctor

 

[jas1982]

develyn, thanks for your good wishes... you must also take good care of yourself... i think Dr Zou is a good person to see.. hehe if you are wondering, I saw her before Dr Zhong, but I cannot follow her instructions of not drinking cold drinks and cooling food... can die... hehe after that i decided to see Dr Zhong, she is not that extreme, all she says is eat whatever u want, be positive and take the medication she gives regularly ... haha and it is more convenient for me to make my way to paragon after work.

 

[jas1982]

oh what i meant was, which ever chinese doctor tells you , that you have PCOS without asking you to check with a regular gyne, is rubbish, they said no way to tell if a person has PCOS just by symptoms and pulse ( what chinese doctors always do)

 

[new_bies]

hi ladies, maybe you could ask the KKIVF team to summarise the key points (dates and cost) on paper for easy reference. It will be difficult to remember everything they said.

Develyn, you might want to consider opting for assisted hatching if your egg shell is thick. Got to pay more but i think worth trying lor.. else the poor sperm will have difficulty penetrating the shell. Who knows in the process, it may get injured!

 

[itjabi]

hi! Ladies,
I have also seen the sinseh at JE, but was recommanded due to unsuccessful IUis and superIUI by doctor fong coz i asked him wat else could i do at that point of time.

Should i still see her if im doing my IVF?
I dun know abt myself but i did see n improvement in my husband's sperm count though.
That is y we have been carrying on with her.

However, her Qs r horribly long.

 

[bb_hopeful]

Cribby,
i only stayed down for less than 10 mins, but it was enough for me. guess it depends on womb health, embryo &amp; other factors.

Mel,
i admire ur guts. i couldn't cos is hubby's relatives not my own. my own would not have been like dat to me.

 

[clcyeo]

Hello zaza, have all the notes at home so can only reply now.

the notes i took down so far as follows. but do pardon me, my memory is very bad.

Stage 1 : "To suppress the body's natutal release of hormones"
* got to check your blood to indicate how much medication to take, over how long. $200 - $280 (mine is $288.59, including my hubby's check and gst)
* Baseline and ultrasound and blood test to see how your body is responding to medication. (haven started on medication so I dun know - per vial of Lucrin is $98, can use for 28 days, Test is $39 each) $215 approx.

Before this, you have to register for ivf/ icsi $98
Consult doctor and sign consent forms (bring marriage cert) $203

See social worker for consultation (ivf team will help you arrange a time, dunno how much) ?

Sperm storage $160 (1 time use) $310 (store for 1 year)

About $1200? Sure have to standby some as there will be hiccups or further investigations.


Hi Sierra, have you seen Dr Loh? if yes, you can email him mah? meet up with the doctor first and the ivf nurse will take you through all the steps. My hubby was not with me when I met the IVF lady. Bring him along so that he can see that there is an information overload and share your concerns...kekeke...
The ivf team will give you a flow chart. good to bring along a calendar to plot down approximate dates. or maybe you can try giving them a call first then making a wasted trip.