Childless Not By Choice Group

[danad]

Hi Sunny,

You did your proc last fri, so still got time to do mini confinement. Start NOW! The easier things to do is to take 1 bottle of chicken essence every morning and drink dom at night. Avoid seafood and "liang" stuff. Eat lots of ginger, rice wine, fish, chicken, pork or pig liver dishes. And keep yourself warm.

I will be seeing my gynae this afternoon (for review 2 weeks after the proc). Will ask him about when will next AF arrive. However, my tcm says it should arrive 4-6 weeks later.

I know what you mean. Like you, I am also a worry spider

I worry even when there is a slightest cramp or even twitch around my stomach area

Guess we really have to relax.


Hi Piglet,

You may not realise, you are encouraging all of us with your positive outlook! This is the attitude, lady. You will make it

I think seeing dr (western and chinese) also depends on luck. Sometimes, a dr can help this person but doesn't seem to work for another. I have also switched a few drs (both western and chinese). Good to hear that you have finally obtained a tcm prescription which works for you.

Jiayou!

 

[marvliz]

Hi piglet,
I was seeing Tcm for more than a year. Took the meds till I feel like vomiting. Still no use.

If pcos, u must not only avoid high sugar foods. U must avoid carbo as well. You must consume low gi foods. Low gi foods are food that releases sugar slowly into your system so that there is no spike in the insulin levels. The multi grain gardenia bread is low gi. Stated in the packaging. Some yoghurts are also low gi. Diary farmer brand is one of those I think. There is also this book call low gi diet for pcos at kino. It will advise the foods to eat. However, it is not very suitable for our Asian culture unless u are very onz in preparing your own meals.

For royal jelly, I got mine from gnc. I take the liquid form. 1 tablespoon in the morning before food. I dissolve mine in water cause I find it too sweet to consume direct.

Exercising suppose to help too as it will enable the muscles to utilize the glucose better and in turn lower your insulin levels

 

[babygalore09]

Dana,
Can strongly sense you are a tough cookie and you are more sane and up than many out there despite having been through life and death lately. Huggzzz and I am very very sure your little angel knows mommy loves him or her very much. I once read somewhere that there is this belief that for babies lost through mc, they are already very wise souls and they have come to learn their last lessons on earth afterwhich they would graduate to become (angel, if you are a christain)/to reach (nirvana if you are a buddhist). While they have inevitably left a trail of sadness behind, they have gone to another beautiful place. I am glad that you are such a strong mom and your baby will be very proud of mommy too.

Thanks for appreciating our exchanges and actually I am the grateful one as I have gained strength and inspiraton from you all throughout these exchanges too you know

(its not words of formality for sure). And I totally agree with u at during more turbulent times, there is no hurry to make decisions and decisions can also keep changing along with existing circumstances.

Hehehe..when u said that u worry when there is a slight twitch in the stomach area, I smile to myself as same here! When I cannot ovulate properly, I feel very sian whenever I sensed a twitch and keep wanting to make a note of any twitch that comes along and tell mself, I must be having infection down there. ;p (of course worry for nothing kind until my hb cannot stand me ;p)



Piglet,
Hey, my belief is that for one tough mountain out there, there is always another tougher mountain and you are one tough mountain. Dana is right, you are a source of motivation for all of us here and your positiveness and the sunshine in you has rubbed us off. While is it true that I am very appreciation of motherhood that has been illusive, it does not mean that having a baby has erased all my troubles in other aspects of my life and the sunshine in some of you girls have brightened my day. For instance now, I am vexed over the gloomy prospects of my industry and seeing the strength in your girls fuelled up my fighting spirit.

And I was once upon in time very very guilty of "he is anxious about the future that he doesn't enjoy the present, as a result, he doesn't live in the present or the future"…now, I try to live in the present and enjoy what I have today. I am going to print out that long phrase you shared and put in on a pin up board in my study

Really like the phrase you shared. Thanks..

Also, I was once upon a self-induced victim of stress. My stress level was sky high that my used to be good luteal phase (12 to 14 days for eggs to implant after fertilisation) shrunk by half and stress hormones detected by day 21 test for ivf shot to abnormal level. That was a red light that stress is powerful silent killer. So when you mentioned about why 3rd world countries have high birth rates despite poorer nutritional level, stress and the high expectation of ourselves, eating highly processed food and the late marriage mentioned by Dana all contributed.

U have motivated me to restart my yoga regime, I will start tonight

Hopewaves,
Happy for you that you have reached a resolution and won't feel so "fan". And may you be able to solve each puzzle along and have a smooth very fruitful May/June cycle. Yah!



Sunny,
There will always be a next gathering for u to come, if got another one, I will surely bug u de..heeee..

Ur gynae is decisive to do that for u. Understand ur worry about d&c thining the lining but as Dana said, its never too late to bu back. All your worries are normal, after my d&cs, I also worried non-stop, worry about scarring, wrecking up the hormones, menses never come, just like u..And on hindsight, I believe its all these worried that caused my poor cycles. Its easier said than none about not worrying I know. How about turning all these worries into constructive actions, like u said, be discipline and drink more chicken soup, esp black chicken soup and also do some confinement stuff that Dana suggested as long as its within ur means. Also, you can start some light exercises (but only after one month from last day of D&C) such that the qi (mentioned by Piglet) and blood can circulate freely and bright oxygen to the productive organs to regernate them. Before u know it, the lining will regenerate.

Tell u something, after I my 2nd D&C, I was quite convinced that my womb damaged as every menses was so little that I only needed to use less than 5 pads for each cycle and for those ovulation cycles I tracked with a few gynaes, the lining never exceeded 6mm, not once. But during the ivf cycle that I did acu, the lining grew to 10mn. That really woke me up that its not the D&Cs that damage my lining, it’s the stress that I self-induced that sabotaged me. So I am still very grateful to Dr Zou's acu for waking me up. Moral or story is its very difficult not to be stressed but use this stress to our advantage, be movitvated by the stress and do good stuff such as exercise to oxygenate our bodies, especially the reproductive organs that are so far from our heart and always get the less amount of oxygenated blood when we are stressed. Sometimes I try to rationale and think somehow it makes some sense, that god has designed our bodies in such a way (put our ovaries and womb as the one of the "last" organs in the bodies, far from the heart) that when we are stressed about life, getting pregnant will be happen later than we want because when we are stressed, god thinks we must sort out that stress level first before entrusting us a new duty in life? I may be thinking crazy stuff, god knows best loh.



Liz,
You are really a PCOS expert. U must keep sharing ur comando experience on PCOS

Sisters,
I will sms all of you the confirmed place to meet by tomorrow. Any preference of where to makan at Orchard Road? Otherwise, we can meet at fish&co again since its so easy to find seats there. But if anyone can think of another place, more than happy

Bingo, I will PM u since I do not have ur handfone no.

For any other sisters who might want to come, just PM me anytime

 

[ongfamy]

Hi All,

Quite difficult to read n post using iPhone. May I kn when n where is the venue to meet? I post a few times only but interested to hv a bunch of friends who truly understand what I went try n to encourage each other to attain our journey to motherhood. We will surely get that!
Thanks!

 

[sunflower09]

Yup Dana, yesterday was supposed to cook curry chicken. After i posted here, i quickly told hb, change of plans and did the chicken soup instead with red dates and wolfberries. Today also drank black chicken soup. Oh how careless i am! Thank God its not too late, hopefully!

BabyG, you with Dr Zou too? Me too but eversince my 2nd miscarriage have been rather paisey to go back to her, feel abit like failed her. After your D&C, did she give you any herbs or just ACU? Maybe i really should give her a call, today wed she is closed. I am rather worried lining dont regenerate. After my 2nd MC, already it was abnormal, very light at times, at times got clots. Now i worry further abnormalies.

Hey i dont think you are thinking crazy leh. In fact its true that the fertility organs are last cuz our body knows how to give priority to vital organs first so that we can be alive and healthy before even thinking of conception. Nature sure has mysterious yet intelligent rules!

 

[piglet_piglet]

Hi Dana,

I was once depressed like living in a dark forest with no sunlight.But by coming to this thread and reading some books,the feeling was like suddenly there is an opening at the top with sunlight seeping through and it brightens up the forest.The positive outlook comes from all the girls of this thread,not from me. Now I seem to understand a bit about everyone has an affinity with each other and are interlinked.

Yes, I totally agree that it really depends on luck in meeting a good doctor that customised to our needs.I also heard someone mention about an ailment getting cured depends mainly on how confident the doctor is on his own medical skills and how much confidence the patient has in his doctor and himself (besides the factor of how good the doctor is in his skills).If either party has no confidence at all,no matter how skilled the doctor is or how good the medicine is,the ailment will not be cured.This links back to the power of the mind.Initially,I thought about switching doctor when the medicine does not work.It then comes to me that the problem lies with my mindset rather than the doctor.I do not have much confidence in myself and I worry too much about the outcome.All these give me additional stress and end up wasting the medicine.

I believe you will make it! Jia You!

Hi Liz,

I tried for about 2 yrs plus. I would say I am progressing very slowly. The amazing part is the slower the pace of life, the better the progress. So perhaps you may want to consider to give TCM another try.

Thanks for sharing on royal jelly. I will try it and I bet it tastes good.

Hi Babygalore,

I am no tough mountain as I did not go through the tough obstacles that the girls here had faced.When I read about the miscarriages faced by some of the girls, I can sense the pain of falling from the sky to the ground.It is really not easy to overcome the pain especially if such an outcome is not expected.You all are tough warriors. Talking about motivation,the encouragement & warmth of the girls here is the main source of motivation.Also,without you setting up this thread,there is nothing to start with.The pioneer of anything is always tough.So you are really making a positive great impact here!

The more I read the quote, the lighter I feel.It is like throwing out a lot of thrash that I've collected for a long long time. Simple words, yet has a deep meaning.I am glad that this quote is useful to you. Shall share more positive quotes if I come across more.

 

[danad]

Hi BabyG,

Hahaha, this is the first time someone describes me as a tough cookie since I started on my ttc journey

My close frens have been seeing a crybaby very often. Even my husband says he has never seen me so stressed up and affected by an issue before

Thanks! Your words have given my morale much needed boost

I have always prided myself as a strong person but this journey and the bumps along the way have left me at my wit's end.

I believe all of us have a inner well of strength. At times, we are so overcome with grief and hopelessness that we forget to draw on this well. For me, coming to this forum, reading posts by other ladies with similar experiences and who manage to remain positive, is a good reminder for me. Also, through writing and sharing, I am able to be sort out my thoughts and take baby steps out of the tunnel.

I agree with what you said about your trouble doesn't end after you have a baby. At times, we are so focused on ttc that we sort of treat having a baby as an end. We must remember that there is more to life than trying for a baby. I was once told, humans are called "fan ren" (as in mortals). This means that as a human, you always have something to "fan" (as in worry abt). I thought it makes sense. There will always be things to worry about, it is just how we manage the stress.

Reading the high level of stress that you used to experience, it must be very difficult. Glad that it is over for you now and you have been rewarded

Hope the rest of us will too!

Hope you all enjoy your meetup tmr. Will join you next time

Hi Sunny,

Great to hear that you have started to 'bu'. Coconut milk is a no no. Don't worry, not too late, you only miss a few days. Just extend it and pay back

I saw my gynae yesterday. He did an abdominal scan and said that all is cleared. My menses should come in mid Apr and I can start trying again after my first menses. I thought it is a bit too soon to try after 1 cycle. Will check with my tcm.

Was a bit demoralised after the dr's visit. Once I went in, he just did an u/s to check all cleared and told me when to expect menses and try. Then, he closed my file and expected me to leave. I was like, huh, so fast. A bit disappointed. But I am also not very sure what I expect from him. Sigh.... Do you have such feelings?

I am wondering whether I should start to find another gynae. I realise most gynaes are good for straight forward cases. For those who need more help, we are often left researching on our own. Btw, who is your gynae? Good?


Hi Piglet,

You benefited from the sharing by other sisters and now, you are benefiting others! Isn't it wonderful?

For me, I want to believe that there is a reason for what I am going through. So, if I am even able to cheer someone up a little or give a lead or a little hope that there is an alternative, it makes what I went through worth it. While you give, you also benefit.

Yup, I have also been advised that I must be confident in my doctor and that he will help me. Really, positive thinking makes a difference. Honestly, I am a not a trusting person by nature. I need to see proof before I have confidence. So, to be confident in a doctor, I need to see some improvement. Guess this is the time when I need to have faith.

Let's jiayou together!

 

[marvliz]

babyG
no choice mah. that was my problem so got to find ways to solve it. just like you did all those research.

Piglet
nah. won't be seeing TCM for now. Wait till i want to try again for no 2 then think.

Dana
U want to try my doc, Prof Ng Soon Chye at GlenE. Super nice doc. Super cautious and detail also. recommended a few friends to him. All under his care now.

Btw, he is the father of IVF in Singapore. ICIS was actually developed based on a method he pioneered.

 

[babygalore09]

FaithBB,
Hey Faith, I have already Pmed u my handfone no. Sms me anytime as the place and time confirmed liao. Really happy that u can come

Speak soon.



Sunny,
Heheheehe..when I read how u faster go and change ur menu for dinner I find u very "ke3 ai4" and "ren4 zheng1" about eating right

That is the way to go sister! Now I still kiasu, I will check on what hb eats as I want own family to be healthy so next time no need to worry so early about health issues, he used to feel very sian but when his cholesterol level fell to normal, he also become conscious.

Actually after the d&cs, I went to Tongji at first, that time don't know about Dr Zou yet. I ate a few months of chinese medicine prescribed by Dr Tan SB but my cycle went more haywire. On hindsight, it could be due to the weekly stress of having to go there early to take queue no, wait for her to start her clinic and ultimately wait for the prescription, while waiting, seeing the watch ticked by and imagining how my boss might be looking for me in office. So I stopped going for a few months and then a few months before starting ivf, went to Dr Zou. There, I only asked for a biweekly acu and no chinese med as I thought just try out acu first and was told that acu is very efficient in building lining and clear qi blockage and the effect is faster than eating medicine. Medicine might take about 3 months to experience impact at least. After the abandoned ivf cycle, I stopped going for acu but somehow, I find that the acu sessions earlier might have cleared up some of the qi blockage such that my menses amount increased. Of course it could also be due to a combination of factors such as better diet, more optimistic and more exercises. Most likely its due to a combination of factors as if go for acu but still very sian and stress will migitate the good effects of acu to balance hormones.

As biweekly acu can be very siong, maybe one feasible way is to go for a few months of acu to improve the "qi" fundamentally, after we can sense balance is restored, we stop going and try to maintained the restored balance ourselves by watching diet and lifestyle. Afterall, the essence of tcm (both acu and medicine) is that it tries to kickstart our body's regenerative system such that our body starts to self-repair and we will not be reliant on tcm over the long term unlike western medicine that does not target the root of many hormonal issues

Of course some body systems might need one year or two to see the impact from tcm but maybe quite importantly to combine tcm with our lifestyle change too. My tongji experience coupled with high stress was an example of maybe good tcm mitigated by abuse of lifestyle.

Please don’t be paiseh about failing Dr Zou. She is in the best position to know the majority do not succeed on first , 2nd try. If u still find the menstrual cycle not ideal, definitely consider letting her clear highly possible qi blockages. Don't worry k! , thin lining is more often than not caused by hormonal imbalance that although can be corrected overnight but can be corrected. I am sure there are no other abnormalities given that you have done the scan that discovered the polyp and also did a recent spring cleaning. Its is most likely hormonal and as we can't see it, we often overlook its impact on our bodies. Yes, agree that nature is mysterious yet always ruling us with so much power.




Piglet,
Having been lurking around the forum these years, I find that every girl here has her own unique story of struggles and heartpain beyond description and we are lucky to have one another. Hubbies experience all these differently.

U like to collect quotes?

I wanted to but always procastinate and lack discipline. One quote useful for a down day is "Only dead fish swim with the tide". Yes, yes, share good quotes when u come across, always hungry for them

Dana,
No softie will be able to tahan the trying ivf cycles I believe loh. Do ur close friends know you are ivf warrior? But actually when I talk about ivf with most people who have done not it personally, their idea is mainly confined to "the need to do a lot of painful jabs right" and almost none know/think about the big scary 2WW. So its definitely out of question for the faint-hearted to do it.

Yes, I agree that all of us have this inner well of strength that is often under utilised and everytime when we feel like we are going crazy and that is the last straw, we never eventually loh

First time I heard about the fan ren analogy leh…very good one

True leh

Means we are normal as human beings to always feel "fan". Reminds me of one Chinese song call fan2 ren2 ke1.

Yes, loh, singaporean gynaes often overlook our physiological needs. I was telling other sisters that day that I read on the forum my gynae even asked his nurse to tell one couple who have a mc (asked right infront of the couple) to "go outside and cry" as they both broke down in front of him. I still used him in the end as his stitching skills are good and I needed to do c-section but rank him lowly in the humane department. Yes, Prof Ng of Liz is good, another possibility is Prof Wong from NUH. Very serious at first but after our failed ivf/abandon cycle, will encourage and provide next step alternative. The "knife mouth but beancurd heart" kind of dr..heeee…he does fertility investigation but mainly ivf/iui while prof ng is also into fertility management like Liz said.


Sure, join us next time, singapore is very small, very easy to meet up and organise gatherings.




Sisters,
Tom gathering confirmed. Venue at Raffles place at 12pm. First come, first wait basis. I will sms u all the details. FaithBB, have pmed u, sms me k

 

[marvliz]

BabyG
Raffles city right? City hall lah

 

[babygalore09]

Sisters,

Sorrli, typo, venue confirmed at Raffles city at 12pm tom. At coffee club on 3rd flr.

 

[danad]

Hi ML (Liz, right?),

Thanks for sharing your gynae. I will keep him in my list for consideration. Right now, I may lay off seeing any gynae for now

I am putting off planning what I should do next although I am more inclined to continue with tcm and trying naturally. Wait till my first menses over

Even if I see a new gynae now, I also don't know what should be my objective.

Another consideration of mine is that I work in a restructured hospital (Finance) and my staff benefits cover most expenses if I go to a gynae in a restructured hospital. If I go private, I will have to bear much more of the expenses.


BabyG,

I only told 2 close frens about my ttc struggles and my ivf attempts. They also had their own ttc struggles, so they sort-of understood although they did not go through ivfs. Yup, I think most people have the impression of just a lot of injections. I told them, the injections are nothing compared to the emotional burden during the 2WW and the ultimate failed result. Of course, I don't expect them to comprehend the full extend of what I went though. But still am grateful for their support. Furthermore, we did not let our families know about our ttc struggles, so these 2 frens are really our pillars of support.

I have also heard about Prof Wong from NUH. Thanks. NUH is a bit far for me as I stay in northeast. I am also mindful of not stressing myself with the hassle of seeing a dr. Your account of going to Tongji rings a bell

Enjoy yourselves at the meetup later!

 

[marvliz]

Hi Dana,
paisei. use wrong account again. I use that account for another thread and for buying stuff.

Just do what you feel like doing. the most important thing is to be happy and comfortable with what you are doing.

You are still lucky that you have 2 close friends who are able to support you. For me, my close friends are the super easy get pregnant kind plus they are the super insensitive kind of people. so without my online friends like babyG and Nancy, i would have gone crazy.

Anyway, Jia you! All the best!

 

[babygalore09]

Dana,
Yes, Liz is right that you are a lucky girl to have 2 close friends whom u can confide in. All of my friends are the easy to get pregnant type too and are moms of two to three children in primary school. They are good people but just have no cue when some of us cannot make babies like second nature.

Next gathering will let u know. Today, got two sisters stay at the Northeast also, next time u all can exchange pointers on which drs are good and convenient.


Liz,
Yes, yes, I remember Nancymoomoo, pls send my regards to her

Sisters,
Thanks for the nice lunch and nice chit chatting, really feel like chatting on and on and on with u all..heheeeee...

Will try to arrange for a saturday in future. Will PM u all one another's numbers.

FaithBB, really nice knowing u and lets keep the friendship going together with other sisters

Think all our hubbies will also have a lot to chat about if they come together, they sure have a lot to bitch about having to collect sperm in clinic toliets and "encouraged" by us to eat oysters, drink tomota juice.. and also about putting up with our moodswings about ttcing ;p But of course guys cannot bear to share such things having the need to be macho..they quite poor things also.

 

[hopewaves]

Hi sisters, 

Really enjoyed the long chat we had earlier, time flies by so fast when we are talking away. I couldn't believe two hours have past when we finally parted. 

Thanks esp to Babyg for setting up the thread and connecting all of us together. It's almost like a lifesaver for me personally, because like what Liz said, it is so hard to open up to friends who are absolutely fertile.. And by and by the circle of friends who understands shrinks by the day..

Thanks also to Liz who always have cute and funny stories to share. Both of you give us, the rest of the sisters who are still trying hard, alot of faith and advice. I tell myself if I cross the bridge and manage to land on the other side of the shore, I must also be an encouragement to the rest just like how you both are. 

Noi always great to see you! And happy to get to know Lyn and FaithBB too

FaithBB, glad that your "expiry date" coincides with my planned ivf cycle.. We can help each other stick to the loong list of "dos and donts" that Babyg will definitely be sending us Hee Hee

 

[cutebingo]

Hi sisters! sorry not able to join the outing, let me know when is the next outing ok..

Jiayou for sisters here who have went thru mc.. i went through it as well and can totally understand the pain especially when it doesn't come easy from the start.
I am starting my ivf soon, cd21 to collect injection and can't wait to inject myself.. haha.. i think i am crazy haha...
i have already tendered my resigntion and last day will be end of this month, just nice for me to rest for my ER/ET... pray that with this little sacrifice, i can bfp if not i just take it that is a break for me since i've been working for a while.. one of the pushing point that i've decided to quit is also due to my mc experience, if i really bfp, i dont wanna stress about work and risk mc again...
so sisters, jiayou jaiyou, bfp bfp!!

 

[danad]

Hi Liz (ML

),

No problem lah

Thanks for your assurance. I feel less stressed when I just take tcm and try naturally. The thought of going through ivf just stressed me up now

Yup, I know I am lucky to have 2 frens who are supportive.

You take care and enjoy your parenthood journey!


Hi BabyG,

Yes, am grateful that at least I have frens who understand. Hey, but I am lucky too to have found this forum and all you angels here.

Hope to meet you in person soon.


Hi Hopewaves and Bingo,

All the best for your coming ivf cycle.

Jiayou! Jiayou! Jiayou!

 

[marvliz]

hopewaves
aiyo.. don't say until like that. i greatly enjoy your company and friendship as well. As i have been through the journey as well, it gives us an unusual bond. although it would have been better if we had not bonded under such circumstances.

And personally, i find that it is important to have people who are able to understand and provide an outlet to vent.

thus, as long as you don't mind me hanging around and being kpo. be more than glad too.

Bingo
Jia you! Happy jabbing!!!!

Dana
Thanks! u just enjoy life for now.

To all the gals,
looking forward to the day when we can all go out and park our strollers at our meetup place.

All the best!

 

[ongfamy]

Hi Ladies,
Was bz with my reporting hence no time to post. Happy to meet up with u ladies, n sharing info n therefore nt so lost n alone in my journey to Motherhood

Liz, Yes! We will enjoy u soon to park our stroller tog while we enjoy our chat, hee...

Wanna check, if we will still hv sticky n stretchy discharge after ovulation?
Thxs!

 

[marvliz]

Faithbb
No leh. I think for me after o Liao then not much discharge already

 

[ongfamy]

I thought my ovulation over alr but today suddenly saw alot of discharge I was like huh???
I mean that is a possibility I 'O' late but is really late which means this mth my menses will be late or unless letual phase defeat. Or my body too liang??? Too many ??? In my mind.

 

[hopewaves]

"When things got hard, you started looking for something to blame. Like a Big Shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The worlds aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it...


You've gotta hit as hard as life. It isn’t about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much can you take and keep moving forward? That's how winning is done.

If you know what you're worth, Go out and Get What Your Worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you aren’t where you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that aren’t you. You're better than that."

This is an inspirational speech in the show Rocky Balboa which I'm sure some of you caught on Tv last night. Just wanted to share it and encourage everyone not to give up and keep on going. I love the part about how it's not about how hard you get hit, but how many hits you can take but still keep moving forward. In our TTC journey we get hit every other time with disappointments, failures and bad news. But keep moving forward. We'll get there one day!

 

[marvliz]

faithbb
u got test OPK? personally, even if i o late, my luteal phase will still be the same.

so if you o late, it means that your menses will probably be late this month if your luteal phase is fix.

did u take anything different this month?


hopewaves
ever thought of becoming a motivational speaker?

 

[marvliz]

ladies
found this old 2ww list. Hope it is useful

Stage 1 (Lucrin)

- Cut off cold drinks
- water intake 2L/day
- drink DOM to build up the body
- chicken essence X 1 3x/week
- egg white x 1 daily
- Gentle rotation in circle motion clockwise after you have jab your abdomen. If painful - try to sooth the area you are injecting with hot towel, the skin will become less tense


Stage 2 (Puregon / Gonal-F)

- Ensure milk or Anmum milk
- Chicken essence
- Soya products
- Egg whites (after ET increase dosage of egg whites)
- Brazil nuts
- Cold Storage, small "nut" push-cart stall outside e new Jurong Point 2 NTUC Fairprice Hypermart. It's also located near the Jurong Point 2 Old Town Coffee restaurant
- Cold Storage at Parkway 100g $3.90
- Cold Storage at Great World City
- Cold storage at Bugis for 100g @ $3.90. It located @ at the section where they sell all kinds of nuts eg peanuts, almonds etc
- NTUC at Ang Mo Kio Hub, near the vegetable weighting counter
- Carrefour, near the bread section. Price is $5.65 per 100gm
- Giant Vivo City with shell type


Stage 3 (2WW)

- Continue egg whites for at least a week
- Ensure milk or Anmum milk
- 2-3 pieces of Brazil nuts daily
- Take broccoli daily as it is rich in folic acid & helps sustain normal tissue growth. Just boil for 30 seconds or steam it for easy preparation
- No pineapple and water melon
- No squatting or carrying of heavy weights (anything that stresses the abdominal muscle)
- No hot sauna or soaking of lower half body in bathtub
- No intercourse
- Do not stand or sit in a position too long. Good to walk a bit to promote circulation
- No raw food and avoid oily and spicy foods as it may cause an upset stomach. High hormone levels cause bloatedness and hence add to discomfort
- No strenuous exercise
- No other medication (eg. TCM) other than those given by your Dr
- No massage on the shoulder and neck


Natural Way to Stop Spotting by Dr Zou

5 thin slices of lotus root. Cook with glutinous rice in a pot ...till it??s like porridge and eat it. You may throw in some red dates. Dr Zou says twice a week

 

[babygalore09]

Hopewaves,
My sentiments exactly that as we grow older and circumstances of life can sometimes make our circle of friends shrink and shrink such that I feel very sian and low morale about losing touch with once very good friends. But many many years back, a school friend of mine told me that just as we lose some friends due to circumstances, migration etc, we also make new friends along the way and now I realise its true. My this friend has migrated to Australia with her hubby and she last told me she wanted to keep a dog, she is also into mountaining (was once in the singapore mount everest women team but pulled out due to other commitments), marathons. I am quite inspired by her way of looking at things and way of living life sometimes, she does what she likes to do at that point in time and lives life quite carefreely. Although my life is not carefree as I wish it to be, I am thankful that she gave me a different way of looking at things and now I accept the fact better that friendship can change not because that person has changed but because of changes in circumstances, I actively seek the chance to know and maintain every little friendship that can come along the way as long as circumstances permit. For those friends I lost due to circumstances, no choice but to wish them way in life and move on. Of course there are some proven very nasty friends that I excluded from the friends category not because of circumstances but due to such issues like integrity. U are young and cute and easy going, ur circle of friends will be more and more exciting I am sure. And I also have faith ur will cross the bridge with ur hands full with babies one day and be an inspirational lighthouse. Liz is right, I quite sian due to work issues but after reading ur quote, I am so full of energy now!

I must thank u girls for opening up my world to new friendship, new ways of looking at things

Bingo,
Similar to Liz, want to wish u happy jabbing and may this cycle be the cycle give u a bfp, then have a unevent pregnancy and carry baby to term. That 2ww list liz posted is good. Can ur supportive hubby to stock up some stuff for u. If u need any info, just post here and ask yeah

Dana,
Sure

Singapore so small, sure got chance to meet up. Recently I revisited the miscarriage thread and I am touched by all the comradeship and mental support u girls are sharing. Cheers for that and hope all the girls there have a speedy recovery and being so determined and strong, will become very admirable mothers in the near future.


FaithBB,
Depending on the hormones, I remember I had a few cycles of patchy ewcm, means started to see some, that no more the over the next two days and then appear again, no more then appear again. Its probably not too liang, its more like the body is trying to ovulate but the hormones are a bit out of sync for that month that the ulimate ovulation cannot be triggered at one shot. Don't worry, some cycles are like that and when things settle down and hormones come into sync, u ovulation period can be more distinct. It has happened to me.


Liz,
This list reminds me of the good old days at the ivf thread when one sister, evelyn created this list. I still remember her fondly for all her knowledge and encourage.

 

[linggie]

I am glad i chanced upon this thread, all the posts are very heart-warming and inspirational!
I was sharing my experiences at the miscarriage thread like babygalore said, it is indeed wonderful talking to the ladies who are very strong despite the grief.

All the best to all!

 

[babygalore09]

Linggie,

Glad u found some peace here.

Sorry that you must go thru such a cruel event in life but there is also a high chance that you can emerge even stronger as a person. May u be strengthen by it and also form a deeper bond with ur hubby who is going thru it together. Jia you!

 

[hopewaves]

Baby galore, your sharing really struck a chord with me. Just the other day I was telling my Hubby I felt disappointed by friendships. I grew up in a church with several close friends but in a striking coincidence, 5 of them are now pregnant at the same time, and 3 of them is with the 2nd kid. It is soooo hard for me to face them week in and week out, with their bulging tummies and happy chatting about kids. I can feel a distinct difference in our relationships now. I feel so lonely.. On good days I console myself saying that they are not here for me because they have heavy commitments as mums, or they are unsure how to approach me. On not so good days, I feel bitter and angry that they have "abandoned" me, that I've been shut out from their lives. I can remember specific times I've been there for them when they were going through difficult times, but where are they when I need them most? Sometimes I also feel bad that I'm not there for them when they are experiencing one of life's happiest moments as a mum, and will I have friends left by my side if my time ever comes around.

At the same time I'm also encouraged to have reconnected with some old friends whom I've lost touch with over the years, and forming some friendships at work, and also getting to know the friends in this forum etc.. some of whom have become great support and encouragement for me on this arduous journey, which I'm grateful for. 

I agree with baby galore, to have to accept the fact better that friendship can change not because that person has changed
but because of changes in circumstances. There was something I read - just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I know I need to accept that things are the way it is right now, and it's nobody's fault, that I shouldn't beat myself up over it, and also to extend grace to people who won't understand what I'm going through. To trust their intentions even when it doesn't feel like love. 

 

[babygalore09]

Hopewaves,
When u described what u what to come face to face with EVERY week, I have this big "aruggh" forming in my heart. Not easy is an understatement. It is in fact cruelty. Having all close friends pregnant at the same time is like having a big challenge to our faith as a person. Its like having the last straw. I did have this big big challenge as immediately after the 2nd mc, my sil annouced her pregnancy and I was thinking, how cruel does life want to be to me as my mil expected me to be at every family dinner to witness her bulging stomach and everyone fussing over her. To me, its not jealousy we are feeling, its just plain cruelty that we have to dealt with. One helpful way to pyscho ourselves its its god's way of strengthening us, if we can deal with this form of extreme cruelty, we can deal with many other things in life. I am very impressed with u that u can face them squarely week. Think u are very strong. And I am also impressed with ur statement of "just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have". I learnt something new today and thanks for that Hopewaves

On not so good days, give urself permission to stay away for a while from them. Just like I stop attending some gatherings with friends who only talked about breast engorgement and breast engorgment and still breast engorgment after the mcs..hehee..its ok to stay away since we did not do anything such as push them or anything, we are merely protecting our mental wellbeing. While on better days, its also ok to step forward and touch their stomach for that little baby luck. Just do what it can to feel good.

I think u already saw it. This quest to motherhood will result in even more friends by ur side when ur turn comes in the near future. Because if u have had it so easy, u can only identify with others who have had it so easy, but now, ur world have grown larger to include repeated students like myself..heheee.. When u bfp, I will sure jump at u be so excited for u and nag at u about this and that. Then u will regret knowing me..heheee..

I remember u are starting ur cycle, not sure what is ur ivf style since its ur first and hoping it to be ur last

Some like to keep a low profile while cycling while others like to post. We won't keep asking u for updates. In fact, I won't ask u anything since I do not want to add to ur stress level. But ur bfp is on my wishlist. And anytime u need info, just text me or other more experienced ivfers. If u want to post, just post and if u want to keep low profile, just keep. It’s very democratic here..heheee..

 

[hopewaves]

Hey Babygalore, 

Thanks for affirming my feelings. You've no idea how much it has helped me to not feel like I'm a freak for feeling what I feel, or that I'm downright selfish for thinking this way. Yes, the week in week out of having to be in the presence of many pregnant women is overwhelming. It really does seem like a cruel hand of fate- I transferred from a ministry to "escape" from a pregnant friend whom I know I'd really struggle to see all the time. Who knows, in the new ministry, FIVE more women became pregnant after my transfer. There was a particular meeting of about 20 of us where we had to sit together in a circle and I couldn't even stop my tears from flowing, with 5 bulging tummies right  in my face. 

Just the other day I was debating whether I should send an email to my close friends who are currently pregnant and we've drifted. Part of me feels I think they care but dunno how to approach me, part of me feels perhaps they don't need me in their lives so maybe I shouldn't send it. Anyhows, I reckoned I wouldn't quite be able to handle a sit down dinner to spend time with them since it's a painful reminder seeing their tummies, so writing may be a better way. More negative thoughts flooded me as I started writing- I wanted to cut and paste from my blog but the sadness is so deep that I feel they can't understand. Should I then paste a link on ivf for them to understand, but will they feel I'm taking up too much of their time or why am I always so "melancholic"? Eventually I just wrote a short and sweet note that was rather shallow.. After countless editing. Sigh. Write an email also so hard. 

And yes, I can totally relate to the sil issue. My sil now already has a gal and expecting another one. At the risk of sounding like a green- eyed monster, I'm still gonna say it- my in- laws talk about NOTHING else other than the baby. She is basically QUEEN in the household, and I am so not exaggerating. She gets everything she wants and nobody can control her. My fil will act like me and Hubby are invisible when she is around. Not that I care for his attention, but it's just sickening sometimes to see the amount of attention showered on the spoilt gal. ( and it doesn't help that my sil is very mean to my Hubby)

and when my Hubby mentioned to my fil abt us going for ivf, he hit the roof literally, scolding us for doing it the artificial way, we should see TCM and we're not trying hard enough blah blah blah. Its like telling us to try step A and B without knowing we've already reached the X Y and Z stage and have no other options. But how to explain to them? We are not like the older generation where babies pop out so easily one by one.. Will they ever understand the agony we go through, or at least stop shuffing down their opinions down our throats? We are not even asking them to pay for it. I know they are concerned but sometimes it feels like they still have the "I'm your dad and I know whats best for you" mentality.  I still go for their family meals solely for hubby's sake, but honestly, I hate it. 

Sigh sorry for rattling on again.. Just wanted to get it off my chest..

 

[danad]

Hi hopewaves and babyG,

Saw your exchanges and would like to put in a few words.

My own "not-so-easy' ttc experience has made me realised that, usually one can't really understand the pain and agony another feels unless he/she has experienced a similar situation. Initially, I was also upset or rather bothered by the seemingly "mild" behaviour/reaction and insensitivities of relatives & friends who knew my ttc frustrations. My own feelings were so intense but yet they seemed to take them so lightly. As some of them are very dear to me and I do not doubt their love & concern for me, I started to think whether I was too "self-centred". Slowly, I came to the realisation that while they feel for me, they can't feel as much pain as me as it is not their problem (not that they bochap, hope you understand what I mean) and they have their own issues of higher priority. I should be grateful for their concern instead of harping on my ttc obstacles. This realisation actually "free" me, in a sense. Hope I am making sense to you

There are definitely changes in my relationships with the people around me. Some do not understand and don't want to understand. Some said they understood but their actions showed otherwise. Some just want you to get it over and share their joy in other matters. It is also good in a sense. It allows me to see the true colours and decide who are friends for keep

Relatives, I can't choose but I can choose who to be close to

The realisation I mentioned in para 1 also made me more aware that I could be "guilty" of the same when I am on the other side of the fence, ie not being sensitive enough. Now, I consciously try to put myself in others' shoes and hope I have become a better person.

A friend who also did not have it easy in the tcc dept, once told me that I must love myself first, then I can give love to others, including my future baby. Loving myself includes taking good care of myself mentally and physically. So, as long as I don't harm others, I should do things to make myself happy. And that includes skipping baby showers etc.

An example of how I rationalise the above. My sis-in-law (hub's bro's wife) gave birth to her 3rd child earlier this year. Since we are not close to her (see each other less than 5 times a year, never kept in touch via phone or internet, I don't even have her contact no), I skipped visiting her in the hospital. I reckoned she would not miss my visit and to go would mean making myself sad and taking up my time. In the end, I decided taking care of my mental health was more important. I knew my parents-in-law would not be pleased that I didn't go but it was just a matter of "face" and "putting on a show" which I don't care for. As for my hub, I left him to make his own decision since I knew his parents would expect a visit. In the end, he also didn't go. My mother-in-law was not pleased and tried ways & means to make us go visit at their home. I was rather pissed actually (by the insensitivity and the seemingly fertile daughter-in-law & baby were almighty important attitude) and persisted in not going. My hub gave in and went for a short 1-hr visit. Even for the 1st month celebration, I skipped while my hub went to make a obligatory appearance for about an hour.

A secondary school friend also gave birth earlier this year. Although we are not in constant contact and she does not know my ttc issues, I treasure her friendship. I also had reservations about attending her baby's full month celebration and meeting old friends who are all with kids. In the end, I skipped her party. But, I visited her at home on another day to congratulate her. Surprisingly, I felt alright and was able to share her joy. Probably a lot of mental prep work helps. In this case, I value her friendship and was able to overcome my own psychological "barrier", I believe. Visiting her alone also helps, I think.

So, hopewaves, do whatever you can to release the pressure of seeing pregnant colleagues/in-laws. Don't care so much about doing the "right" thing but do the things good for yourself. Even for family dinners which you can't skip, can make little changes such as going earlier or later? So that there is minimal contact time? Or get a friend to sms chat with you during dinner? Heehee....these are some of the tricks I used

Take care, ok?

BabyG, hope you and your little one are doing well. It is always enlightening to read your posts. Thanks for providing the support even after you have moved on.

 

[sunflower09]

Same here, my hubby has a cousin who shotgun marriage and gave birth late last year. My ILs went to visit at the hospital of course, but hb and i just skipped. Then come CNY, that cousin and wife and newborn daughter visited my ILs as per custom every year. Hb and i were going to visit ILs at same time also as per arrangement every year so that can catch up with the cousin. But this year we purposely turn up late hoping to reach only after they left. End up really reach as they left, they were on lift A down and we were on lift B up. Think my ILs werent too pleased but we dont care. I am not the least bit guilty. I too think as long as we are not causing harm, no harm skipping things that will 'harm' us instead (make us sad etc ...) I knew if we had ran into that cousin, their big mouth will ask us "eh when your turn?"

 

[danad]

*high five* Sunny!

Yup, they have so much joy that they will not miss us not sharing their happiness. Why make ourselves miserable?

 

[babygalore09]

Hi Hopewave and Danad,

I am in the midst of writing a reply and in the meantime, pls take care of urselves, hope life is treating you all well in many aspects.

For whatever u are purusing, Jia you!

 

[babygalore09]

Hopewaves,
Please don't feel like a freak, whatever u have felt or is feeling, is all normal its only because u are selfless enough to want to be a mom to a small and high dependent person that u feel all the emotional tsunami. Honestly, I have never have to face 5 bulging stomachs all at the same time. If its me, I might not have the courage to face five growing balls at the same time, most likely I will avoid going to church by convincing myself that I have a headache, flu,every Sunday. So u must pat yourself on the back for being so brave. If u don't pat yourself, I pat u..*pat pat* sister

. For all u know, god knows u are very brave and wants to build you up for something big in future. To head a minstry on how to cope with newborn baby for first time mom..yes, that day is coming soon

U have a blog, care to share so I can go kaypoh kaypoh and read? Heheeeee…I like to read blogs as can always learn new perspective..Whether to be frank with your quest to motherhood, it depends a lot on the other party. If that is a non-judgemental and person with basic empathy level with many things in life, sharing it might be a good option as its win win, it enhances the friendship/trust and also get sometime off our chest so we can feel lighter after sharing. I did share all my struggles with a close ex-classmate and I was glad I did it as it achieved all the above. Then, I also shared it with a close ex-col and to my horror, she broadcasted the my inability to have kids to another ex-col who finds joy in others misfortune. So Hopewaves, I am a advocate for sharing with the right people, it can really make us feel much lighter, but only the right people. When during sharing, it might be useful to tell the person: "xx, I am not telling many people this, just u and so and so because its close to my heart and I trust u all, pls do not broadcast it as it something very personal".

No, u don't sound like a green-eyed monster, at least not on this thread because we are all green eye at one point in time that all these fuss about bulging tummies are like daggers piercing us and I believe they know it and takes joy of highlighting themselves as the blessed ones. When that happens, let it work to our advantage that we tell ourselves that we must take even better care of ourselves and not play right into their trick. My BIL then even said he wanted to rent his girl to my SIL who is in her forties n childish. We know it’s a joke but he said it with so much pride in him that we really buay tahan him (background he is nasty right to the core). Hopewaves, actually u n hb are being very nice to be so candid about doing ivf. When I was cycling, only my hb, my own mom/dad/sisters knew as I wanted to protect myself. Honestly, I think they will never understand, more like they will never want to understand as they think it will not happen to them. Sister, I feel like bashing that queen bee and her working bee in ur family tree but there is no guarantee that they can have the last laugh. U turn will come and then, u will be so busy enjoying your pregnancy to care about them

And what Danad has shared made a lot of sense "relatives, I can't choose but I can choose who to be close to".



Dana,
Yes, u make a lot of sense to me and I fully agree on your realisation. As I remembered my sister telling me to give up on having children and just focus on myself and maybe to do some voluntary work. I knew she said that in the hope of lessening the pain and hope that I can focus on other things, not because she treated my challenges lightly. So fr then on, I learnt to differential between true concern (from people who cannot understand the intensity of our feelings. BTW, I like the way u use intensity here, very appropriate) and fr people who "like to watch good show".

Your tips on how to cope with celebrations are great

I wished I had that enlightenment years back when when immediately after the 2nd mc, I did not go for a friend's baby one month as I was too overwhelming. Maybe I should have visited her on an individual occasion. I guess its not too late now, will find a chance to reestablish connection with her.

Thanks Dana, we are doing well, trying to be healthy despite not having time to rest.



Sunny,
U are right

"No harm skipping things that will harm us instead". Take care of yourself sister, stay pretty and sunny

Sisters,
The BSS is around the corner, shop shop shop to make ourselves pretty. Remember, the whole sky can fall but we must stay cute regardless.

 

[babygalore09]

Hey sisters,

How is everyone doing? Update on myself is that I am trying very hard to get back some of my own life like exercising, playing the guzheng which I was learning halfway then stopped. Will have to get it out from its casing or it will turn moldy. In general, I feel super unhealthy now vs before.

But one thing I found lately, don't know if its coincident is that raspberry can have very positive impact on the hair. My frizzy hair due to lack of taking care improves after drinking raspberry juice (bought at sun&moon, ready made) every day during lunch. Trick is to drink/eat fruits on an empty stomach half an hr before any food. Also try to drink fruit juices within 15 mins of making or that cup will be more or less oxidised.

For sisters who are taking a break from babymaking, use this chance to take care of your body. After many months of neglecting my body, I can really tell the diff between jogging and not jogging. No jogging/exercise is as good as becoming a stagnant lake.

For sisters who are trying to conceive, pls continue to exercise, brisk walking is especially good

Can do with hubby, especially good for bonding too..

 

[hopewaves]

Hi sisters,

How is everyone doing? Babygalore, thanks for the tips on healthy living hee hee.. but dun think I can do the jogging bit now since I'm in the midst of my ivf cycle

I love your " The BSS is around the corner, shop shop shop to make ourselves pretty. Remember, the whole sky can fall but we must stay cute regardless". THUMBS UP!

Just to share I'm in day 2 of my Gonal F, 225 units everyday. After a long and ardous event preparation at work which ended on end May, I am finally able to take my mind off work and concentrate on ivf (though I have an immediate boos who gives me a dirty look when I tell her I have to take 2 week mc soon, lucky my bigger boos more understanding). I was put on 2 week lucrin but for some reason the lucrin wasn't enough to suppress me so I ended up with 3 weeks of it. Finally on Monday, the nurse at SGH gave me the clearance to start my stimulation so I went back yesterday to get the Gonal F shots.

Yesterday had a fight with hubby. What happened was he broke the news of another friend celebrating her baby's one month celebration next week which is approx my ER day, so my heart dropped. We were each other's bridesmaid at our weddings but I didn't even know she gave birth! That's how out of touch I am. So while I was brooding over the fact that there are 3 baby one month showers I have been invited too, and feeling sullen over it, my hubby commented that he feels sian taking the vitamins and I just blew up and over reacted.. thinking in my mind that I am the one enduring all the jabs and all and you can't even take one small little vitamin?? Anyway.. we're ok now and talked through it, and I also understand it is not easy for him and he needs to "fa xie" sometimes too. However, this incident makes me think that when a couple goes through ivf, it is a time of immense stress and little issues can trigger sensitive feelings and out of proportion reactions so we must be careful. During the short period I had "cold war" with him, I really felt very lousy and tempted to abandon the whole thing.. that's how bad it can get.

Anyway, after going to SGH CARE for so many times, I just want to commend the nurses there.. I really feel the service is exemplary, I feel treated like a friend and not a patient (most of them recognises and calls me by my name) and I didn't have to wait for very long each time. Each time if I am just a few minutes late for appt, they will call me already to as if I'm coming. Their service standard alone is super encouraging to somebody like me who is going through something as dreadful as ivf.

That aside, the nurse scanned me and saw 11 follicles before I started on Gonal F.. does that mean I will have 11 that will grow? Anyway, I know we can't really tell.. one thing I have learnt through this journey is that my body has a mind of its own and it is not within my control at all.. Have to relax and let go..

I have been telling myself to go for accupuncture but still haven't dragged my big fat lazy butt down to Dr Zou for so long.. I finally called her today and set an appt for tmr morning.. Hope it's not too late!

 

[hopewaves]

Number of Eggs Retrieved Helps Predict IVF Success: Study

Collecting too many eggs during one cycle can raise the risk of complications from fertility drugs

By Robert Preidt
Wednesday, May 11, 2011

WEDNESDAY, May 11 (HealthDay News) -- Retrieving about 15 eggs from a woman's ovaries in a single in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle offers the best chance of achieving a live birth while avoiding complications from fertility medications, according to a new study.

Researchers analyzed more than 400,000 IVF cycles in the United Kingdom between 1991 and 2008 and found a strong association between live birth rates and the number of eggs retrieved in one cycle.

The live birth rate rose with an increasing number of eggs up to about 15, leveled off between 15 and 20 eggs, and declined steadily beyond 20 eggs.

The study appears online in the journal Human Reproduction.

"Our data show that around 15 eggs may be the best number to aim for in an IVF cycle in order to maximize the chances of a live birth while minimizing the risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), which is associated with a high number of eggs, usually over 20," Dr. Arri Coomarasamy, a clinical reader and consultant in reproductive medicine and surgery at the University of Birmingham, said in a journal news release.

"Mild stimulation protocols aim to retrieve less than six to eight eggs; a standard stimulation should aim for 10-15 eggs, and we believe this is what is associated with the best IVF outcomes," said Coomarasamy. "When the egg number exceeds 20, the risk of OHSS becomes high."

Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome can occur when women are given hormone drugs to stimulate the production of eggs for collection for IVF cycles. Abdominal pain, swelling, nausea and vomiting often appear in mild or moderate OHSS. In rare, severe cases, OHSS can be a life-threatening medical emergency.

SOURCE: Human Reproduction, news release, May 10, 2011

 

[babygalore09]

Hey Hopewaves,
Morning

Regarding ur immediate boss's dirty look about the 2 week mc. Let her give as many dirty looks as she can as u can always find another job when the right time comes but we will only be this young once, so dirty look or not, ivf still triumphs.

Sis, its quite good u are on 225. Usually age is a key element they use to judge how much gonal F to give u but I find that its not a good gauge. 225 is strong enough to trigger good number of follicles and also not too overwhelming.

Hey, as a devil's advocate, I would say its better that u had a small fight with ur hubby rather than having every bottled up only to have a big eruption much later. Small fights help each other to understand the situation better and release vent up tension in manageable doses. U are right, ivf is a time of intensive stress and every little tension can trigger an eruption. Most important is while two person can be angry at the same time, two person cannot be very angry at the same time, at the right time, say sorry, and at the right time, remind each other the love still exist, that is the prelude of wanting to do ivf. To be honest, I also have small fights with hubby as we are now coping with a new lifestyle and this is the way we cope too. Small fights but will use them to see how to manage better next time. Sis, I am happy for u to see that u and ur hubby are quite adult at the end of these arguments and can rationalise what leads to common over reactions. U are coping well

Its normal for such tensions.

Maybe u don't have to attend those baby showers. I am sure they have invited enough people and like Danad said, when u are less occupied, then visit them at your own ease.

The 11 follicles is just the antral follicle count. It indicates the dominate follicle that could be triggered, while it is a good indication of the potential number of follicles you can get, it is not the final number. 11 antral follicle is a very very good number according to what I remember reseraching on previously. I had only 6 then and in the end, the doctor retrieved 13 follicles during ER, 12 with egg and 1 empty.

Acu is never too late. The good thing about acu vs drug is that its much faster, in the hands of an experienced dr that dr Zou definitely is

The study u attached is definitely correct. Prof Wong at nuh told me the ideal number is also about 15. Too many can lead to all not usable.

Sis, so far, all your numbers are looking good and just keep going and every little jab that u take will all add up at the end of the day. Jia you

and update us whenever u feel like it k

 

[babygalore09]

Hopewaves,
I am going to Tangs to spend on the sale. I have been quite slack on taking care of myself these few months and now is the time!!

Now is also the time for u to buy some weepy korean dramas for that 2ww. That 2ww can be nerve wrecking but also a good time to nua at home..;p

 

[babygalore09]

Actually I have also read that a good number is 15 to 20. So 15 is not the magical number. personally, I would think anything from 15 to 20 is very good. If got 20, would have enough to survive through fertilisation right through to embryo growth. That time when my antral follicle was only 6, I know its age that is not working in my favour.

 

[babygalore09]

Hey sisters,

http://www.wearewonderwomen.com/blog/

I want to share the above site with u all. It is a blog set up by Molly Lee, a Singaporean ovarian cancer survivor at a mere age of 30. She has since pass away but her optimism despite having to go tedhrough a surgical menopause, sacificing her fertility in exchange for her life, coming face to face with cancer at a time when she was about to get married and have children is all very inspiring. In the midst of chemo, she got married, lived life and started a blog to encourage other ovarian cancer sufferer. She might have passed away but her fighting spirit and love for life up to her last day reminds us to love life.

A few years ago, I saw on tv this short film on her and a few weeks ago, the TV had a replay of the film. A pity that the film is not attached on her blog.

 

[hopewaves]

Hi babygalore, thanks for your ever so wise advice

I simply loved the link you included on Molly Lee. What courage, optimism and faith.. I feel so put to shame that a lady whose days are numbered can face up to life with such courage while I'm constantly wallowing in self pity sometimes in my TTC journey haiz.. I really need to meditate and give some thought to it.

By the way, can I also use this chance to ask a question? I went to Dr Zou yesterday for Accupuncture yesterday and she gave me some packets of tcm medicine to take twice daily, bit when I brought home my Hubby discouraged me from taking them as he remembered the doc in Sgh mentioned something about not taking tcm together with the injections. I'm not really sure what to do now, can anyone share your experience with/ without tcm during the stimulation stage?

Thanks!!

 

[ellesie]

Hi, Hopewaves.
when I was doing my IVF and seeing Dr Zou at the same time, I din take any medication and merely do the accupuncture. But a fren of mine, she took the medication and had the accupuncture. She did hers at SGH as well and it din affect the outcome,she bfp with twins. Her twins are one month older than mine. I think it's up to individual comfort. My fren was kind of worry initially but she just follow thru as she believes the medication won't do any harm and Dr Zou is quite versed in IVF things. Hope it helps

 

[gan1972]

Hopewaves, when i did my FET, i was seeing Dr Zou too. Did Accu only, took the med a few times and i stopped coz i dun like the taste so didn't want to stress myself over the med. I will take dr zou's med 2 hours after i took those pills for my FET. so i guess it is fine u take her med 2 hours after your injections.
I did my ivf in kkh and when i asked Dr Loh about TCM, he made funny faces and said no TCM. But i felt the accu helped me in my FET, so give it a try but dun feel stress over the process of going TCM (e.g. u have to travel far to go TCM, need to rush, hate more poking etc).

Jia you!!

 

[marvliz]

Oh ya! Hopewaves
To hell with the boss who gave u the dirty look. Ivf more impt! Work is secondary. It is just a means to achieve our dreams. Look at me. My bosses were ok with my mc during pregnancy but in the end also kenna retrenched. U just focus on staying happy. Remember your egg whites! Pamper yourself and we meet up after your first tri ok!!!

 

[hopewaves]

Hihi sisters,

I'm now lying in bed and just woke up from my egg retrieval process this morning.. It was quite painful initially during te procedure so doc upped the dosage of the sedative and I knocked out. It all seems like a blur after that.. My Hubby said I stood up to walk to the bed but I don't remember it at all! =)

I had 10 eggs retrieved, but from what I gauged from the lastest scan, it seemed only 6 are of a mature size so I'm hoping these are the ones which can fertilize. Nurse said hubby's sperm count was low so needed an extra special procedure to correct the semen sample..

Well for now in just trying not to think too much and enjoy my 2 week break from work =) special thanks to baby galore and Liz who is always on hand to answer my "ivf questions" haha.. I'm simply gagging on egg whites now, feel like puking if I see another one in front of me! All the best to all the other sisters who are also doing ivf or TTC-ing too.. =)

 

[danad]

Hi Hopewaves,

10 eggs is a good number. Hope all fertilised!

You rest well and get your body in optimal condition for ET.

Looking forward to congratulate you in 2 weeks' time

In the mean time, enjoy your 2 weeks off from work.

The forum is a bit quiet nowadays. Miss the chatter among the sisters

Guess everyone is busy.

 

[babygalore09]

Hopewaves,

U are so cute..

Walk to the bed yourself but forgot..

Feel like giving u a tight bear hug for being so cute. Ur hubby is very lucky, even under sedation and in dreamland, u can still walk and don't need him to carry.

Take it easy for ur 2WW, treat it like a long deserved hol (I know its hard but since must do 2ww, might as well enjoy it). Another way of downing those egg white is to do steam egg with minced meat that u can eat for lunch/dinner too. Only if u can get hubby to buy minced meat of course, don't go supermkt urself k..

Jia you and like Dana, I look forward to congratulate u in a matter of days

Sisters and Danad,
Received notice that my office will be relocated to Europe and will be made redundant in a few months. This is my first time kena retrenched and facing the prospects of not working, so it quite demand emotionally. I know I am not stay at home material and a big part of me enjoy working a lot, having a goal outside of family, having the financial independence and having the ability to contribute to economic growth. Being retrenched is indeed stressful and unpleasant.

Now, I console myself that as long as all my family members are healthy, that is what really counts in life. And I recalled now that nothing is more stressful than having to go for d&c. When I just discovered that bb heartbeat stopped, I remembered I woke up in the middle of the many nights hoping that it was just a nightmare and my bb did not die and this time after kena retrenched, I only woke up in one night hoping that I wasn't retrenched. So those human losses really did strengthen me and taught me that our family and health are what really counts.

Lets all jia you together to conquer the many challenges that life poses

 

[danad]

Hi BabyG,

Sorry to hear about the news re your job

Could you look for another job? If I remember correctly, you are from the banking industry, right? There should be lots of opportunities in other banks?

Keep your chin up! You have braved the tough ttc journey, this is nothing. There will always be jobs around. Remember family is the top priority.

I was riding on an emotional roller coaster recently. Spoke to a good friend yesterday and learnt that she is considering a divorce. Not being mean but this sort of put things in perspective for me. At least my marriage is intact although I don't have a baby.

Life is not a bed of roses. Another obstacle appears when we have overcome the previous one. I guess the mentality is to tell ourselves that things will never be perfect. Gain some, lose some. Let's take things in our stride and make the best of our lives. Jiayou!

I am sure you can ride this out. All the best in your search for a new position. Who knows, it may be a more suited one