Affair!! Adultery!!
- Thread starter shinco
- Start date
dreamygreen
New Member
Hi all,
I'm new to this thread. Just want to say hi first then go back and read the earlier posts.
I'm new to this thread. Just want to say hi first then go back and read the earlier posts.
Hi Susanna,to me my x is like a soulmate.. Just that at times he offer my his shoulder to cry on.. He didn't ask for much though.. He is no more young FYI.. He is already 50.. Old man Liao.. He is someone that I can talk to.. He even tell me my hub stay up late cos he needs to do his networking.. Dun blame him.. In my heart,I really thought of telling him it's not true.. He is just having fun outside and at times w d company of PRC!!
I really appreciate your advice that than u judging me.. Really very nice of u.. But at least now I'm happier.. For how long I actually dun care n dun bother..
In situations like this,it's really not easy to go through especially as a woman. Why when man stray,the fault always on thd woman?
Man strays and their reason/s?
:- Without fail,ALWAYS THEIR WIVES FAULT!!
I really appreciate your advice that than u judging me.. Really very nice of u.. But at least now I'm happier.. For how long I actually dun care n dun bother..
In situations like this,it's really not easy to go through especially as a woman. Why when man stray,the fault always on thd woman?
Man strays and their reason/s?
:- Without fail,ALWAYS THEIR WIVES FAULT!!
pigheadlim
New Member
Bek : hope things will go well for you, totally understand how you feel... glad that you are happier..
mikki_liew
Member
Bek, how long do u think u can be happier? is this real happiness?
Honestly tell u, u will be much happier if u divorce your husband and not need to have a affair secretly.
Honestly tell u, u will be much happier if u divorce your husband and not need to have a affair secretly.
Hi moorspa,I understand it's for my own good.. But man had ego. If I ask my hub to see a counsellor ,he sure blow off his top. I've tried hinting to him but he choose to just ignore me. What can I do? He always says that our marriage is just fine.. If I continue abit more,he'd said I start to grumble again and walk off. I just have to shut my mouth.
I'm brought up fr a healthy family. Just that my dad is a horny fellow. I'm sorry but it's true. My mom has caught him 3x n me additional 2x ((my mom dun know))but my mom still loves him dearly. Till today. Other than that,my dad loves all of us very much n my mom too. I've spoken to my dad abt this issue before but he said its just for fun. Like "screw n go" thingy.
Back to me,which wife dun long for hub attention? All wives does. And me too. I dun see anything wrong abt it. Last time,like 2 to 3yrs back,in my hub's life,there is only me.
-every fri,supper n midnight w/o fail since 13yrs back
-sat,lunch together then shopping. Then supper with my parents for d past 13yrs too
-sun,sleep late then shopping,lunch then coffee then dinner or at times I cook for him since 13yrs ago
- mon to fri,work or home. At times,work late and he'd definitely inform me. At times,buy supper for me. All d while
-bb go check up,he'd definitely go.
-I go check up,even if he can't make it,we'll meet there then lunch then I go back myself n he head back to work.
-we meet once in awhile on weekdays for dinner.
## Even aft the arrival of my boy,we still do all these every week without fail since we dated 13yrs ago till now.. Without fail. We still go wedding dinner,clubbing,concerts,nice place for dinner bla bla bla.. Just d 2 of us. That's what I call husband n wife. I never let my boy interfere between us. ##
Only recently,yr 2011,oct,things start to fall really apart.. He start to work late almost every night. Our weekend outing start to get lesser n lesser.. Till now,zero. All cos someone brought him to a stupid nightclub to sing! To find PRC! To bed them maybe.. Sorry for my language.. Seriously,when I think of it,I get really agitated!! Very agitated!! Cos in late oct,I'm gg through another ivf. When I wake him up to inject me,he grumbles! 3 to 4 injection to be precise. I even need to prepare the medication myself. At times,it's very painful and he'd just dun bother. Inject then go back sleep. That how cold he has become. Through all my previous ivf,I felt appreciated cos he really takes care of me. Prepare the medication for all my injections. Accompany me for all my check up. Now? I go myself. He dun even bother to ask how was my check up. I insisted he go with me once and he started scolding me cos we waited so long. All these treatment ,I still bear it. I smile and said I'm sorry.
Seriously,I doubt ANY WIVES can tolerate hub in this manner while gg through ivf. Non. But? I bear it. Aft my embryo transfer,I still need to go back myself n FYI,I went there myself too cos he bz. Till one day,my gf called to inform me that he is actually out w her husband to clubs. Seriously,my world shattered! My heart too! I've got no one to talk to. No one to turn to! Do u know how stressful n hurting it was? If its not for the sake of my boy,I'd have divorce him!! I wanted to end my life but I still have 2 aged parents and I dun want to break their heart. Whenever they ask abt my hub,I must cook up lies to tell them he is actually bz w work!
Every night,I cant sleep. Even aft the confrontation,he ignores me! As if it was my fault. He doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't wanna touch me n I must always make the first move.
I need to wake up at 4.30am to go work and when he comes back at 2 or 3am and in need to have a quickie,he'd just wake me up for a fast one. And I need to do all d job in bed. And if I'm like still groggie cos just woke up,he'd scold me and said I'm lazy.
PS, any wife out there,who can tolerate all these in silence? I did.
I'm brought up fr a healthy family. Just that my dad is a horny fellow. I'm sorry but it's true. My mom has caught him 3x n me additional 2x ((my mom dun know))but my mom still loves him dearly. Till today. Other than that,my dad loves all of us very much n my mom too. I've spoken to my dad abt this issue before but he said its just for fun. Like "screw n go" thingy.
Back to me,which wife dun long for hub attention? All wives does. And me too. I dun see anything wrong abt it. Last time,like 2 to 3yrs back,in my hub's life,there is only me.
-every fri,supper n midnight w/o fail since 13yrs back
-sat,lunch together then shopping. Then supper with my parents for d past 13yrs too
-sun,sleep late then shopping,lunch then coffee then dinner or at times I cook for him since 13yrs ago
- mon to fri,work or home. At times,work late and he'd definitely inform me. At times,buy supper for me. All d while
-bb go check up,he'd definitely go.
-I go check up,even if he can't make it,we'll meet there then lunch then I go back myself n he head back to work.
-we meet once in awhile on weekdays for dinner.
## Even aft the arrival of my boy,we still do all these every week without fail since we dated 13yrs ago till now.. Without fail. We still go wedding dinner,clubbing,concerts,nice place for dinner bla bla bla.. Just d 2 of us. That's what I call husband n wife. I never let my boy interfere between us. ##
Only recently,yr 2011,oct,things start to fall really apart.. He start to work late almost every night. Our weekend outing start to get lesser n lesser.. Till now,zero. All cos someone brought him to a stupid nightclub to sing! To find PRC! To bed them maybe.. Sorry for my language.. Seriously,when I think of it,I get really agitated!! Very agitated!! Cos in late oct,I'm gg through another ivf. When I wake him up to inject me,he grumbles! 3 to 4 injection to be precise. I even need to prepare the medication myself. At times,it's very painful and he'd just dun bother. Inject then go back sleep. That how cold he has become. Through all my previous ivf,I felt appreciated cos he really takes care of me. Prepare the medication for all my injections. Accompany me for all my check up. Now? I go myself. He dun even bother to ask how was my check up. I insisted he go with me once and he started scolding me cos we waited so long. All these treatment ,I still bear it. I smile and said I'm sorry.
Seriously,I doubt ANY WIVES can tolerate hub in this manner while gg through ivf. Non. But? I bear it. Aft my embryo transfer,I still need to go back myself n FYI,I went there myself too cos he bz. Till one day,my gf called to inform me that he is actually out w her husband to clubs. Seriously,my world shattered! My heart too! I've got no one to talk to. No one to turn to! Do u know how stressful n hurting it was? If its not for the sake of my boy,I'd have divorce him!! I wanted to end my life but I still have 2 aged parents and I dun want to break their heart. Whenever they ask abt my hub,I must cook up lies to tell them he is actually bz w work!
Every night,I cant sleep. Even aft the confrontation,he ignores me! As if it was my fault. He doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't wanna touch me n I must always make the first move.
I need to wake up at 4.30am to go work and when he comes back at 2 or 3am and in need to have a quickie,he'd just wake me up for a fast one. And I need to do all d job in bed. And if I'm like still groggie cos just woke up,he'd scold me and said I'm lazy.
PS, any wife out there,who can tolerate all these in silence? I did.
Hi mikki,if it's not for the sake of my boy n my parents,I would divorce him! I want my boy to have both parents so I tell myself to just bear w it. My patents love him alot and they dun believe in divorce. If I divorce him,I can tell u,my parents will break down. They'd have to go through the stress and pain but I dun want them to go through any of these. I'd rather go through it myself and 1 person suffer is better than my whole family suffer w me. They are already old. They deserve better. That's why I beat with too.. I hope you understand..
bek, u are a good wife to tolerate all his nonsense, he did the wrong things, but now yourself is also seening another man. Whatever, u did will not justify u having a affair with another man.
Turn around stop the affair.
U have a kid, do u wan your kid to learn from both of u?
We should have a moral standard ourself, what can do, what can't do
Turn around stop the affair.
U have a kid, do u wan your kid to learn from both of u?
We should have a moral standard ourself, what can do, what can't do
mikki_liew
Member
bek, u don't wan to divorce then should go see a counselor yourself. If u let him catch u with that guy, he will divorce and take your kid from u. If your parent found out what u doing, don't u think they will be hearbroken.
my_miracle
Member
Hi bek, so this is your secret! Thank you for having the courage to share with us. I cannot say I fully agree with your reasons to see ur ex, but I do not wish to judge or comment on that. Just wanna know, do you feel happier doing this? For a woman your age, i'm sure you know where to draw the line. But sometimes needs and desire will truimph self control.
If you wanna play with fire, just do your best not to get ur fingers burnt ok? I really don't wish to see u being the one hurt in the end.
If you wanna play with fire, just do your best not to get ur fingers burnt ok? I really don't wish to see u being the one hurt in the end.
Hi all my sweet frens,I know I'm playing with fire.. I'd stop but frankly,not so soon.. Right now,we are just for companion sake. That's all. My x knows where he stands n also knows that I'd not leave my hub and go back to him.. Not now n not near future. I just wanna leave it simple n also to be fair to my x..
The max we go is jus holding hands and only inside the club. Outside,we are jus frens. Nothing else.. And no sex too la... For the sake of my boy,I mus also set a good example that I'm a good mother.. They are growing up now and these are very sensitive to them. And if I'm seen by his teachers?? It's not nice too. I'm already coming 40.. I'd not loose control of myself and I do draw a line. Till now,the line is still visible and it's very visible. I'm also fortunate enough that my x never speak ill of my hub n also never ask for sex fr me.
We are purely for each other's company n that's all. At least I dun need to stay at home and sulk or gettin pist..
As for self pity,I'm not in that stage. I never self pity. I move on. But any wives,as long as we r still hub n wife,still staying together,no matter how independent we are,the hurt will still be there. No matter how many yrs has past,the wound will still be raw..
As for the ivf thingy,both of us wanted it. But my hub is more of a lazy type. He just want the fruits but he'd never help you water the plant or plough the field.. That's him.
The max we go is jus holding hands and only inside the club. Outside,we are jus frens. Nothing else.. And no sex too la... For the sake of my boy,I mus also set a good example that I'm a good mother.. They are growing up now and these are very sensitive to them. And if I'm seen by his teachers?? It's not nice too. I'm already coming 40.. I'd not loose control of myself and I do draw a line. Till now,the line is still visible and it's very visible. I'm also fortunate enough that my x never speak ill of my hub n also never ask for sex fr me.
We are purely for each other's company n that's all. At least I dun need to stay at home and sulk or gettin pist..
As for self pity,I'm not in that stage. I never self pity. I move on. But any wives,as long as we r still hub n wife,still staying together,no matter how independent we are,the hurt will still be there. No matter how many yrs has past,the wound will still be raw..
As for the ivf thingy,both of us wanted it. But my hub is more of a lazy type. He just want the fruits but he'd never help you water the plant or plough the field.. That's him.
joyousbabe
Member
Hi Bek,
I'm new to this thread. Just wanna ask why are you doing the IVF?
I'm new to this thread. Just wanna ask why are you doing the IVF?
joyousbabe
Member
Bek,
I can understand how you feel and the reasons behind your actions of keeping in contact with your ex. I believe your ex is a gentleman - someone who sees you and treats you as who you really are… a lady friend who merely needs love, tender, care, attention and respect.
I honor marriage and the marriage vows. But I understand that along the way when one spouse has shown signs of a closed heart, it's pretty much just an empty-shell-marriage. Sad but true.
Frankly speaking, if I'm your parents, I would rather you divorce and be with a man who truly loves you and treats you with respect; not an object to fulfill one's selfish desires.
And if I'm your son, I would encourage you to divorce and move on with your life, than stuck in a meaningless marriage. A wholesome family means parents truly still in love with each other. Not just pretending on the surface. Like a sugar-coated marriage. What's the point?
Yes, a divorce means a separation of both parents. Pain is unavoidable. But if my dad is the reason of causing my mum's unhappiness, I would rather ask my mum to move on with her life, than hold on to a false 'complete' family for my sake. Cos if my mum isn't happy, I'm not happy too. My mum deserves to be loved and treated with respect.
Giving a false 'complete' family impression may not be wise after all. Cos the son may thinks that the aloof attitude the father treats his mum is 'normal'.
My own cousin sisters' parents divorced when they were still at a tender age. Their parents each move on after the divorce, but still love my cousins a lot. My cousins followed their mum.
Now my cousin sisters have grown up. One of them is a mother of two young kids. Over the years, my cousins gradually understood it was a good decision that their parents had chosen to go separate ways, now each parent being happy with their own lives.
I'm not encouraging anyone to file for a divorce. But when many one-sided attempts to restore a marriage failed, shouldn't we move on?
When I say move on, I don't mean staying in close contact with another man outside a marriage. I would rather be legally declared as a single and then pursue my own happiness.
Life is short. Live wisely.
I can understand how you feel and the reasons behind your actions of keeping in contact with your ex. I believe your ex is a gentleman - someone who sees you and treats you as who you really are… a lady friend who merely needs love, tender, care, attention and respect.
I honor marriage and the marriage vows. But I understand that along the way when one spouse has shown signs of a closed heart, it's pretty much just an empty-shell-marriage. Sad but true.
Frankly speaking, if I'm your parents, I would rather you divorce and be with a man who truly loves you and treats you with respect; not an object to fulfill one's selfish desires.
And if I'm your son, I would encourage you to divorce and move on with your life, than stuck in a meaningless marriage. A wholesome family means parents truly still in love with each other. Not just pretending on the surface. Like a sugar-coated marriage. What's the point?
Yes, a divorce means a separation of both parents. Pain is unavoidable. But if my dad is the reason of causing my mum's unhappiness, I would rather ask my mum to move on with her life, than hold on to a false 'complete' family for my sake. Cos if my mum isn't happy, I'm not happy too. My mum deserves to be loved and treated with respect.
Giving a false 'complete' family impression may not be wise after all. Cos the son may thinks that the aloof attitude the father treats his mum is 'normal'.
My own cousin sisters' parents divorced when they were still at a tender age. Their parents each move on after the divorce, but still love my cousins a lot. My cousins followed their mum.
Now my cousin sisters have grown up. One of them is a mother of two young kids. Over the years, my cousins gradually understood it was a good decision that their parents had chosen to go separate ways, now each parent being happy with their own lives.
I'm not encouraging anyone to file for a divorce. But when many one-sided attempts to restore a marriage failed, shouldn't we move on?
When I say move on, I don't mean staying in close contact with another man outside a marriage. I would rather be legally declared as a single and then pursue my own happiness.
Life is short. Live wisely.
Hi joyousbabe,what u say is true but my boy is only 4yrs old.. And my parents,they'd support me for sure if they know the truth and it'll hurt them too.. So I think I'd still bear w it till most importantly,my boy knows what's right n what's wrong.. Meanwhile,I'd love him more cos my hub hardly spend time with my boy either.. If at this moment when 1parent doesn't care much,the other parent should step in to make it as complete as possible n not jus me me me.. My boy is gonna suffer d most!
Shinco, sounds like your husband is now blinded by infatuation with KTV gal and can only see faults in you. Nothing you do will be good enough for him. Stop trying and love yourself more from now. Once he wakes up from his fantasy world, he will come back provided you are willing to forgive him and remain in marriage. Honestly don't play with fire with your ex. Don't start a problem before you resolve another. Don't ever believe you can balance your feeling by taking out on your ex. You will end up being used. You will not have the last laugh. In fact you are in no position to criticize your husband should you go deeper with your ex. You run risk of being shamed and your boy will not understand you. If your ex is so good to you, he should encourage you to walk out of the marriage and your sufferings so that he can openly care for you and your boy.
joyousbabe
Member
Gosh your son is still so young. And his daddy doesn't care much. Sigh. My heart goes to your little boy. And I understand your concerns towards your little boy.
Know one thing Bek....children as young as 4 years old may be able to feel the adults' moods and tones of voice towards each other. What I'm trying to say is do not underestimate the depth of observation of a young child. The child may not understand what is going on. But he can sense it quietly.
Since your hubby's heart is no longer on his family, why still do the IVF?
I agree with Courage. Nothing you do will be good enough for your hubby. Stop trying and love yourself more from now!
Know one thing Bek....children as young as 4 years old may be able to feel the adults' moods and tones of voice towards each other. What I'm trying to say is do not underestimate the depth of observation of a young child. The child may not understand what is going on. But he can sense it quietly.
Since your hubby's heart is no longer on his family, why still do the IVF?
I agree with Courage. Nothing you do will be good enough for your hubby. Stop trying and love yourself more from now!
Courage,u r very right. My x would be the happiest man in d world now if I were to walk out of my marriage n walk back to him. But for the sake of my boy,I want him to grow up in a proper family. Only when he reaches at least 18 or perhaps 20yrs old,then my own happiness is more important. As for now,it's my boy. If I divorce my hub now,my boy how? If my hub finds a PRC how? There are alot of how how how.. So meanwhile,the only how is how to bring up my boy in a happy and secure environment.. I need to be responsible.. I brought him to this world so I must take good care of him n not just give up half way when I face problem myself. It's not fair to him. My x knows,if at this moment he were to suggest I leave my hub n go to him,I'd not see him too. So all he can do now is just to quietly give me the support n care I need n nothing else.
Hi joyous babe,yes,my boy is only 4yrs old. I realize during the confrontation period I had w my hub,I was in such a foul mood that I lost patience in my boy too. But at least now,I've pick myself up n decided to face it and bravely walk through it. Being with my x is not that I'm having an affair. No. We just go for drinks and it is like I'm out at 9plus n back by 12plus.. We talk n talk n talk.. He listen n listen n listen.. That's all.. Nothing else. Max,we hold hands. We dun even kiss!
And it's true,my boy is young but he knows what's gg on. There was once he saw me crying n guess what he did.. My boy took a booster and throw at his father n scolded him. Telling my hub not to make my mummy cry. And my boy came to me and hug me n also give me tissue paper.. Only 4yrs old.. So fr then on,I've decided,no matter what,id not walk out of this marriage unless my boy is at least 18 or 20yrs old.. At least now I dun need to worry abt my boy's well being..
And it's true,my boy is young but he knows what's gg on. There was once he saw me crying n guess what he did.. My boy took a booster and throw at his father n scolded him. Telling my hub not to make my mummy cry. And my boy came to me and hug me n also give me tissue paper.. Only 4yrs old.. So fr then on,I've decided,no matter what,id not walk out of this marriage unless my boy is at least 18 or 20yrs old.. At least now I dun need to worry abt my boy's well being..
bek, i feel u are just giving excuse to justify what u doing is alright.
u keep on saying u stay in the marriage because of your son, but what u doing now will hurt him even more is it's expose.
yes, your ex might not ask for anything in the beginning, all affair take time and once it become full blown, there is not way to stop. how much u know about your ex. he is in his 50s, he don't have much time to waste, how sure u are he is not married or seening someone else. is
u keep on saying u stay in the marriage because of your son, but what u doing now will hurt him even more is it's expose.
yes, your ex might not ask for anything in the beginning, all affair take time and once it become full blown, there is not way to stop. how much u know about your ex. he is in his 50s, he don't have much time to waste, how sure u are he is not married or seening someone else. is
mummyof2rascals
New Member
Hi Bek,
I guess you know very well the rules of the game and will not cross the line so all the best to you. Hope that this is a wake up call for your hubby before its all too late.
I guess you know very well the rules of the game and will not cross the line so all the best to you. Hope that this is a wake up call for your hubby before its all too late.
Hi margret,all I can say is I know. Frankly,there is nothing to hide. Even if he is seeing someone else,it's fine w me. As for if he is married? That I'm very very sure he is not. And I'm not justifying to say that what I've done is totally right or wrong. All I can say is at least I'm a happier person now.
my_miracle
Member
Hi bek, i don't know your reasons for wanting to go thru ivf. But. I dunno if it's a good idea to bring another baby into the pic before you stabalise your own marriage. Why bring another prob in when one is not resolved yet?
As for your decision to continue to see ur ex, well.. I can only say if you kept it purely platonic, then by all means hang out with him. Everyone needs a friend, be it a guy or girl. But know that when you start holding hands, it may slowly lead to something else. Wha may seem harmless at first may just escalate.
Your hubs really sounds like a complete jerk and I think your boy is able to see that, in his own way. Sometimes it's better for the child to grow up seeing his mother happy than to see the parents not in love and fighting all the time. It's just my two cents worth la. Heheh.. But since you are happier now, it may have a positive impact on your child, so I really have 2 minds about your situation as well. But i know you didn't come here to be slammed by negative comments so will zip from now on.
Where do you stay bek? If you stay soemwhere near punggol or amk maybe we can join the gym tgt and do something constructive and stay in shape? Sometimes girlfriends make good listeners too!
As for your decision to continue to see ur ex, well.. I can only say if you kept it purely platonic, then by all means hang out with him. Everyone needs a friend, be it a guy or girl. But know that when you start holding hands, it may slowly lead to something else. Wha may seem harmless at first may just escalate.
Your hubs really sounds like a complete jerk and I think your boy is able to see that, in his own way. Sometimes it's better for the child to grow up seeing his mother happy than to see the parents not in love and fighting all the time. It's just my two cents worth la. Heheh.. But since you are happier now, it may have a positive impact on your child, so I really have 2 minds about your situation as well. But i know you didn't come here to be slammed by negative comments so will zip from now on.
Where do you stay bek? If you stay soemwhere near punggol or amk maybe we can join the gym tgt and do something constructive and stay in shape? Sometimes girlfriends make good listeners too!
piggy_mum
Member
Bek, my heart gOes to you. I hv no judgement against what you doing. As long as you know the limit (ie no sex) I think it's perfectly fine to have a male companion, to boost your confidence, sth ur gf can't do.
Hwv, i think you should stop ivf. It's mentally painful to deliver and take care of a new born by yourself while still having postnatal pain. I've been there and it's like hell. Though lots of people will say baby is miracle of life etc but I believe we should only bring a baby to the world with parent love, otherwise not fair for baby and he/she grows up with a scar no matter how hard u try.
Mummies, Pls dun criticize and judge bek, I don't think she is looking for happiness but more to keep herself sane so she can continue to hold the family for her boy.
Take care bek!
Mummies, pls
Hwv, i think you should stop ivf. It's mentally painful to deliver and take care of a new born by yourself while still having postnatal pain. I've been there and it's like hell. Though lots of people will say baby is miracle of life etc but I believe we should only bring a baby to the world with parent love, otherwise not fair for baby and he/she grows up with a scar no matter how hard u try.
Mummies, Pls dun criticize and judge bek, I don't think she is looking for happiness but more to keep herself sane so she can continue to hold the family for her boy.
Take care bek!
Mummies, pls
Hi miracle,if u read my post,I did mention that my hub only start to behave in this manner fr mid oct 2011 till now.. All along he was fine. So before he was like this,we both wanted another child. And not every woman is bless to conceive naturally and if I'm given a chance to be able to conceive naturally,I want to too but god just want me to to go through the hard way. My first boy was ivf too. Ivf is stressful.. Loads of injection, medicine,blood test. And doesn't mean it's successful everytime. Maybe u are fortunate to conceive naturally.. You are blessed..
As for whatever u say,it's fine w me dear.. I just take it with an open mind.. I'd not get upset or pist or wat so ever.. No worries.. It's a open forum for everybody's opinion.. Since I want to start it,I muz face it w open hands..✌✌✌
As for whatever u say,it's fine w me dear.. I just take it with an open mind.. I'd not get upset or pist or wat so ever.. No worries.. It's a open forum for everybody's opinion.. Since I want to start it,I muz face it w open hands..✌✌✌
my_miracle
Member
Hi Bek, not judging you, far from it. In fact I am going through IVF myself. It's a long and painful journey but I will be praying for you. Just be happy la yah~ That's most important. =)
Hi desperate mom,TK U!! U really help me to cut short everything n make it so much more clearer!! Tk u!! Words can't explain how stressful I'm inside. Just imagine I need to nurse my open wound n yet still need to take care of my boy and still need to be happy for him.. As for ivf,aft the oct incident,I've decided to stop completely. Do u know how many ivf I've been through? 6!! 1st one,miscarriage. Thaw cycle,nothing. 2nd one,I had my boy. When my boy turns 3,I start naturally but zero. Then I go for 3rd,4th,5th & 6th.. Seriously,it's not easy as I still need to work..
I work for my folks,so I've extremely limited frens. Colleague? Zero. I've not club for the pass 10yrs . So aft work,it's home. Take care of my boy then wait for hub to be home. That's all. When the problem start,it's like I'm facing the empty house. No one to turn to. No one to talk to.
Desperate mummy,at least now I receive text MSG once awhile. Word of concern once a while. Compliment once awhile.. Jus like a dog in shelter waiting for the owner to bring them home..
I work for my folks,so I've extremely limited frens. Colleague? Zero. I've not club for the pass 10yrs . So aft work,it's home. Take care of my boy then wait for hub to be home. That's all. When the problem start,it's like I'm facing the empty house. No one to turn to. No one to talk to.
Desperate mummy,at least now I receive text MSG once awhile. Word of concern once a while. Compliment once awhile.. Jus like a dog in shelter waiting for the owner to bring them home..
Hi miracle,no prob. Its ok. I take every comment with a open mind. No worries. My mom ever told me,we have 5fingers in a hand and non is equal so dun expect everyone to think like me myself.
my first attempt,bingo!! I'm pregnant!! I was so happy cos I've married for 6yrs. 2wks later,bb lost heart beat... as for now,no more ivf. Stop.
my first attempt,bingo!! I'm pregnant!! I was so happy cos I've married for 6yrs. 2wks later,bb lost heart beat... as for now,no more ivf. Stop.
my_miracle
Member
Hi Bek, I really salute you going through ivf 6 times! And you got so lucky with your boy first try. I'm hoping for such luck too.
You know, if you wanna go clubbing, you can ask me la. I arrange my mum to go clubbing with you. She is 49 this year, even more havoc than me. But she just go there and dance with my god ma. My dad is ok with it cause he knows the group. Let me know if you wanna join them. Hehehe.
You know, if you wanna go clubbing, you can ask me la. I arrange my mum to go clubbing with you. She is 49 this year, even more havoc than me. But she just go there and dance with my god ma. My dad is ok with it cause he knows the group. Let me know if you wanna join them. Hehehe.
nicolenicole
New Member
Bek
You have my support cos I am sure you know what u r doing. How many more 39 years to go?
All mums - I am thinking of starting a support group of mums in our situation. We can go clubbing together. Haha. Just PM me if you are keen.
You have my support cos I am sure you know what u r doing. How many more 39 years to go?
All mums - I am thinking of starting a support group of mums in our situation. We can go clubbing together. Haha. Just PM me if you are keen.
joyousbabe
Member
Bek,
You mentioned that your hubby only started to behave in this aloof manner from mid oct 2011 till now. Have you found out the possible reasons that led to his closed heart?
You mentioned that your hubby only started to behave in this aloof manner from mid oct 2011 till now. Have you found out the possible reasons that led to his closed heart?
Hi joyousbabe,I did ask him n he said I think too much. I tried asking over dinner,he said dun talk nonsense during dinner time. I tried asking while watching tv,he said I'm too free,think too much. Before we sleep,he doze off. Over breakfast,he said why muz I start nagging early in d mrng. I ask in a gentle manner.
Me- "darling,is there something wrong dat I've done pist u off?"
Him-" no.."
Me-"shall we go for movie"
Him-"see first"
Me-"u still love me? I still love u very much.."
Him-" u too free??! Why must ask all these nonsense??!"
Me-"no... I jus want to know more abt u.. We've not do much together for very long.."
Him-"......
Me-"tell me... I want to understand u n the situation more..."
Him-".......
Me-"wanna do dinner?"
Him-" I'm off to work. Bye"
Me- "darling,is there something wrong dat I've done pist u off?"
Him-" no.."
Me-"shall we go for movie"
Him-"see first"
Me-"u still love me? I still love u very much.."
Him-" u too free??! Why must ask all these nonsense??!"
Me-"no... I jus want to know more abt u.. We've not do much together for very long.."
Him-"......
Me-"tell me... I want to understand u n the situation more..."
Him-".......
Me-"wanna do dinner?"
Him-" I'm off to work. Bye"
joyousbabe
Member
Bek, your hubby is obviously not willing to communicate with you anymore. His opinion of you has changed from a precious one to a 'pest'. Sad but true.
Hence no matter what you do or say, to him you are wrong, being overly sensitive and never seem to able to satisfy him. Cos to him, in his sight you are no longer desirable and pleasing.
In short, he has changed becos now his mind and heart may be occupied with someone else.
Hence no matter what you do or say, to him you are wrong, being overly sensitive and never seem to able to satisfy him. Cos to him, in his sight you are no longer desirable and pleasing.
In short, he has changed becos now his mind and heart may be occupied with someone else.
piggy_mum
Member
Bek,
I totally understand how you feel, though my situation a bit different, but i experienced the mental pain (while just gave birth) and the begging for love, the coldness, the one-way conversation....And I do have a close girlfriend who is facing the same as you, she does have a male companion for the sake of being sane. So yes, I understand. You have my support!!
I totally understand how you feel, though my situation a bit different, but i experienced the mental pain (while just gave birth) and the begging for love, the coldness, the one-way conversation....And I do have a close girlfriend who is facing the same as you, she does have a male companion for the sake of being sane. So yes, I understand. You have my support!!
Dear mummies, pls advice.... My husband and I totally NO communication for one full month..... if fact, he did not try to communicate with everyone of us include his own kids too.. Day in day out we are just like strangers living under one roof, actually he hardly has anytime for us (his 3-4hrs at home is use for sleeping only and nothing else). But this morning, shortly after he left for work...he called back and asked for my ID and all kids BC....and refuse to say in details for what purpose..merely said that is for some govt subsidies documentation purpose ...... Am puzzle and feeling very insecure.... How?? Shd I hand/ not hand to him......am not sure what he is up to this round? Or will/can he use the original docs to file/claim for divorce or child custody.or any other issue. Or am I worry too much......
Hi lynnang,I understand how u feel. And the worst part is " The Wait"! Cos u dun know what's gg on and all we can do is wait.. Man are just bunch of asshole!! Like my hub!
You can ask him straight but nicely why he needs all those for?? Insurance? See what he has to say than to wait!!
My hub was home the whole of ystdy. I was so happy but even he is home,it seems not much diff to me. He was so bz!! Both hand on iPhone,eyes on iPad n his com. I ask if he is really so bz and he answered" I'm playing game only,dun worry!"
I mistakenly thought it was father's day ystdy so I ask him out for dinner. Through dinner,not a word fr him. We are jus like two strangers sharing a table!! At times,I can see he was deep in thought!! When we reach hm aft dinner,he went back to his 3 gadgets instead of me..
You can ask him straight but nicely why he needs all those for?? Insurance? See what he has to say than to wait!!
My hub was home the whole of ystdy. I was so happy but even he is home,it seems not much diff to me. He was so bz!! Both hand on iPhone,eyes on iPad n his com. I ask if he is really so bz and he answered" I'm playing game only,dun worry!"
I mistakenly thought it was father's day ystdy so I ask him out for dinner. Through dinner,not a word fr him. We are jus like two strangers sharing a table!! At times,I can see he was deep in thought!! When we reach hm aft dinner,he went back to his 3 gadgets instead of me..
moorspa7
Member
Lynn,
Ask him to tell you what is it exactly for, if he doesn't, don't need to furnish him the details. If you are always in control, you won't feel insecure. Be assertive and show that he can't do anything to u. Since he has not shown you any respect, there is no need for you too. Why shld you wait? Let him wait! Anyway you are the one who has the info, don't give it to him so easily. If he gets angry, ignore him. Play dumb and don't be afraid of him.
Don't think just cos he is the breadwinner, he can do what he wants. Without you, the kids has no one to take care of them. You are important in the family too, be strong and stand up to him.
Ask him to tell you what is it exactly for, if he doesn't, don't need to furnish him the details. If you are always in control, you won't feel insecure. Be assertive and show that he can't do anything to u. Since he has not shown you any respect, there is no need for you too. Why shld you wait? Let him wait! Anyway you are the one who has the info, don't give it to him so easily. If he gets angry, ignore him. Play dumb and don't be afraid of him.
Don't think just cos he is the breadwinner, he can do what he wants. Without you, the kids has no one to take care of them. You are important in the family too, be strong and stand up to him.
joyousbabe
Member
Sigh. It's very obvious that these husbands are taking their wives for granted. So long they don't put themselves into their wives' shoes, these men will never understand the impact and influences they have upon their loved ones.
In short, these selfish and childish men love themselves more than they love their wives. If they love and take care of their wives as if they are loving and taking care of their own bodies, there would be more happy wives around.
In short, these selfish and childish men love themselves more than they love their wives. If they love and take care of their wives as if they are loving and taking care of their own bodies, there would be more happy wives around.
