Affair!! Adultery!!

Btw, i wish U all just have Fun!!!!! Just need to remember not to put yourself in a third party position ..... to avoid hurting another dutiful wife or innocent kids heart......... This world is going sick and crazy already ...........................
 


Hi lynnang,I totally understand how u feel.. My hub is like that too.. Holding a good post,driving a nice car,abt 40 but looks early 30s.. There is actually nothing much I can do than nag.. Sigh.. Nowadays,I just keep a closer tab on him n that's abt all.. And as for the drinking part,I'm really looking forward to it but not to worry,I'd not break anybody's wife's heart cos I've been through it myself.. It sure doesn't feel good..
 
Wah, I must check the places out.

Like so many ladies here, I also don't have many kakis to go such places with. Why? cos I have been a good mummy and spend all my time with my kid.After work, I rush home to be with my family. The last time I went clubbing was because my friends felt sorry for me and said "ok..ok"... hee hee.
 
Bek, why not go with ur hb? I always go with my hb n his friends, hehe..sometimes only both of us go for chillout.

Lynn, pub Molly n beer market are decent places with no hanky panky FL.
 
Hi Nicole,bingo! That's what I m and that's why I dun have much frens..

Hi Susanna,whenever I club with him,he will tell me that he is only having coffee at a nearby coffee shop.. End of d day,he'd end up gg himself n me,go home sleep!!
 
Hi all mummies, need advices ...... am confuse and lost...... someone suggest I to use 'black magic' to win back husband heart? She even have the contact no ready for me, shd I or shd I not? My only hope is to have my previous happy family life back on track and not to harm anybody. Hv any one heard of it before by use 'it' to win back one's heart? Is 'black magic' real? Are they effective? Are they harmless? Will it cause any bad karma on the one that mastermind the spell or will it set bad karma on the next generation (the kids) ??
 
The word 'Black Magic' both look and sound bad and evil right? I dun even think is good to try...scare cause bad karma. But am still very curious and want to find out more, have any of u heart about it ? Or anyones have heard or real experiences 'it' care to share ...... Tks
 
Is ur friend referring to Thai "kumantong", 鬼仔/baby spirit for wealth and attraction? I read some abt it in other forum.
U might need to pray and feed blood to it.

But to think of it, it's really pathetic to resort to such measures in order to retain someone's heart. Is it really worth it?
 
Hi Lynn, I would suggest that you pray sincerely to God instead of resorting to 'black magic'. Every now and then, there are news about women get cheated (of either money or body) by those conmen who claimed to know 'black magic'.
 
Hi Lynn, I agree with iptbaf. Why don't you try praying to your God and asking Him to open your husband's eyes and touch his heart?

But the truth is, if a man no longer loves you, I think the best thing to do for yourself is to let him go. That way both of you can each go and find your own happiness.
 
Hi Lynnang,to me,it's no harm trying but be very very careful. Woman are just like that. We'll go all the way out to try our best to keep our marriage.. Our husband.. It's not easy to just let go..
But Lynnang,be very very careful of the money u are paying.. Frankly,I've tried but nothing seems to work n yet I've spend quite alot and yet I dun see much result..
 
The more they sense that their wives are clinging onto them, the more they will take them for granted thinking they will be forgiven no matter what.

However once u brace up n they noe tt they are on the verge of losing you, they will pay more attention.

Be desirable n not desperate.
 
Hi thanks to mummies out there for do and don't advices....I dun think I dare to try it, coz I'm to timid, scare of this worry of that (that y my husband 'bully' me). I also believe that everthings goes come back In another way.... even if I out with no intention of hurting someone but who know the someone may be hurt in some way someday cause by me unintentionally.... or it may also come back to myself or my next kin....and NO I dun wish my kids to get hurt becoz of me. So tks ....
 
lynnang2, you are right. why want a men where is heart is no more with u. From what i hear, those who cast black magic on others, retribution will befall them.
 
H Lynnang, saw your post regarding your husband. Sorry about what you went through now. Few things to mention here.
1. Do you still love your husband?
2. Did you pay attention to how you dress at home or outside?
3. Did you keep nagging/black face the moment your husband step in the house?
Not that I'm the husband expert here but human are cheapo one. If you pay attention to how you dress, overall grooming, you might "impress" your husband. If you watch taiwanese "The Fierce Wife", the wife is a typical "auntie" who likes to nag, dress like auntie etc. The moment she changed her appearance and the way how she present herself, her husband(whom betrayed her) was impressed.
There are mummies in other threads said that just a simple dress with heels(of course slim down a bit lah)did impressed their husbands.
I believe you are pretty in your younger days, so keep it up! Not only for husband but also for yourself. Who says mummies no need to groom? Mummies need to pamper themselves too. And the way how you behave at home? Did you nag a lot? Be it for good intention or not, tell you all men hate naggers. They will switch off the moment you start to nag. If you still love your husband perhaps this is a good chance to "upgrade" yourself. Dont have to be expensive, but buy some decent clothes to wear. Get your own life, meet up with your long lost friends and arrange some1 to look after your kids. Maybe you can ask him to take care while you arrange a girls' night out. Dress up and walk out from the bedroom with your new image, he will be impressed!!!! Stop thinking about black magic, thats very "auntie" way of doing things.
 
Hi mummy,what u said is true but at times,it's beyond our control not to nag. Tell them nicely,they can't be bothered n we just repeat ourselves,it pist them off. My hub is like that too. Not all man appreciate what their wives are doing for them.
-He prefer bigger boobs,I did it.
-He went out w frens till dawn,I kept quiet
-fri sat n sun,never spent w me,I endure
-I loose weight,he didn't take note
-I wear sexy lingerie for him,he wasn't turn on
-I become independent,I go out w my frens,he didn't seems to care
-I voice out my unhappiness via SMS,he told me off,MSG like these are not suppose to be replied
-I tried sitting down to talk to him,he flare up
-I asked him in d mrng why didn't reply my text fr last night,he just tell me off that I spoil his mrng n hang up.
-our 10th anniversary,he rmb but can't be bothered


Frankly,what haven I not done or done not enough??
PS,he is not seeing other woman
 
Hi Bek, what you mentioned gives me a feeling that you are very dependent(emotionally) to your husband. Try not to text him when he's working or hanging out with his friends. Do this consistently. Let him aware that the family still survive without him(which is the truth, right? you've been left alone with kids all these while).

I was once suspect my husband and I did messaging him when he is working and keep checking on his movements etc. My husband told me not to message him at all during his work. I was pissed! Why cant me as a wife msg him? I do see my other colleague's wives keeping calling them up or the very least during lunch time. That was the time when i feel very depressed. I gave some tots over it. Men and women have different needs and thinking. So I stopped msg him during work, except those urgent things need his immediate help. I start to buy nice dress for myself. I'm also 1 of those who do not pay much attention to the way I dress. But I do start to buy dress and sexy shorts(no need lingerie) and wear it. No need to show him just as per normal. Should he complaint about things at work, just encourage it, support him. Dun throw more issues to him.
Men are weak, they cannot multi-task like us. They like visually stimulating objects. They cant handle problems/issues. Take 1 step at a time. Once you morally support him, he will start talking to you. Thats how I deal with my husband. When he is angry, just walk away. When he start talking to you then it becomes a habit that you two will talk about things and issues.
 
Bek, he might aware of your change in behaviour and attire so just pretend nothing happen. Actually the dress up thingy is for your benefit, you do need to pamper yourself, not wear it for your hubby. The way you love your dress/lingerie will build up your confidence and this turns him on : )
 
Torn, nvr expect u to surf motherhood forum too
happy.gif
thanks for popping by to share with the mummies fr a guy's perspective n u r 1 admirable guy who make a suave decision for both parties.

How time flies n hw are u doing right now?
 
SL, well, used to surf this place to find out about kids stuff when me and my ex was about to plan for kids...

Time flies indeed. A blink of an eye almost a year on... Life is definitely not a bed of roses but I am just trying to make the best of it and push on! Yesterday is a milestone, tomorrow is a future to embrace and present... a gift. I am glad I am still alive and kicking and passing it on to those that needs advise.
 
Hi, mummy. I agreed with Bek, most of the things she did for her hubby I did also....(except for me to hang out with friends - no time with 3 kids and no helper) - yet dun see any changes. If i have been the very naggy wife than my marriage won't last for so long till now. Yes I admitted, i am just a normal human, i did nagged abt 4 times a year... is that too much? Mainly to ask him to try and spend more time with us , try to build his bonding with kids, am I wrong? I endured quietly for him to go out with all his friends, ex-classmates (primary to JC), ex-colleagues (from local to overseas) and also clients .... all till dawn.....And sometimes all these thingy can be continue for one FULL month. He claimed that all these are necessary networking that he need for his career and need my support and understanding so I (close eyes, ears and mouth ....endure quietly) we do hug but not that offen, with him holding my hand and sleep beside me, i am content, i feel i am loved by him......but, then, his affair exposed. Shattered all my trust, hope and dream. I believe I am like everones, wish for endless, faithful, honest, blissful, everlasting love and marriage ....a happy family. But all failed... I am not good in expressing myself both in words or in personal..... just know that everydays now is heartaches and meaningless.....for me and kids. I can't move on so easily as I am not alone but with 3 kids.. I can feel my kids pain and loneliness too, my elder boy is more reserve to himself while my eldest daughter more passionate, spotted her cried couple of times discreetly and my youngest 3 yo only told me to hold his hand and sleep and repeatly ask me 'mummy do u love me? papa in out in out the house dun love me ... do u love me ? ' I can feel his insecure for love... but how can i provide complete and unconditional love to my dearest kids when I myself is so hurt.......currently, am trying my very very best to give alll love and attention now to kids and no more....
 
Hi Tom, thanks for sharing. I hope your wounds are healing and things are looking up for u.

I know how women always try to do their best to win back their man. Trust me, i've been there. Before my husband, i dated a man whom I thought was 'the one' for me. He cheated on me and was caught many times. Each time, i forgave him and told myself that things will change for the better once he sees the rest of the girls are just flings. His exact words: "they are a change in my life, but you are my constant." i held onto these words each time I wanted to give up. Soon, i realised that if i bought him presents (things that he likes) he would be nice and caring to me.

This was a start to a vicous cycle. Each time I felt that his interest in me waned, i would run out and surprise him with another gift. Soon I had little money left and that's when he hinted, "maybe you can consider sleeping with someone to get the money?" i couldn't believe what I heard and needless to say, we had a huge fight. It took me that to see that this man is not worth me doing anything for him anymore. It also made me see my worth in his eyes. I went to seek help from my cousin who brought me to church and it took me 2 years to heal and move on with my life. Eventually I met my husband and that's where I learnt to trust again.

So I know what you mean when you wanna do everything you possibly can to win him back. Black magic, surgery. Etc. but ladies, take time to reflect on who you really were. Find yourself again, and in it, find true strenght. If ur husband is toxic, do consider letting go. It's not easy, but sometimes, men just won't change. At least, not for you unless he still wants to keep the marriage.
 
Btw, just like to share a little bit more about my 'dearest' husband ..all these years, if I sense somethings not right (his behavior toward me/our marriage), he will definitely assured me that he heart and love is forever with us w/o any changes and he himself even initiate WITH very SERIOUS curse and swear on himself like "CROSS HIS HEART AND HOPE TO DIE"....As a wife I of coz trust him wholeheartedly 101% since own husband dare to use such a 'heavy n serious' swear on himself , there is no reason for me to further worry about right?........so all these years 我天真的以为my marriage is a blissful one with loving husband.......what more I ask for ... even with the $50/per week allowance, I also did not make much noise...... Who's know? The truth came to light only in late march this year....he indeed having affair .....thus, can any one imagine how devastated, heartache and lost I am ....for a relationship that last almost 20 years........to end up this way......
 
hi Lynnang2,
A big hug to you!!
For the sake of your 3 kids, you must hang on there!!
I would suggest you to get yourself a job now, because only by financial independent, then only you can have your future plan, either carry on with yr marriage life or leave out of the marriage.
Once you get a job, you should try to doll up yourself, try to have your own circle of life.
Be brave and we all support you!!
 
With my 101% trust, I did not think much when my husband ask for help in finance .... and I tot husband and wife share everything include $$.. No point keeping secretly $ from him....so years back when we make a major but wrong decision to purchase a condo in the east of Singapore....there after sold it upon TOP w/o loss but little or no profit too. I help to pay the upfront 1 or 5% plus whatever admin n legal fee... with all my saving prior to my "early retirement" to be a SAHM for slightly over $50k.......not a single cent credit back to my account there and then... and now that my account running low with less than $5k and not a single input all these years and CPF less than $20k .......he refuse to sit down and talk abt future but merely msg me to move on, his intention to sell current house ( which is heavily o/s ) and ask me to get myself a HDB and stay with 3 kids.... How??? how can he be so cruel towards us -- his closer kin??? And also when I knew him in my early 20's (we used to be colleague of same clerical level and we born in the same year), he is a mr nice guy then, no smoking, no drinking , no clubbing, i left my job on agreement to take care of our childrens while he busy climbing up the ladder to the top position now. Ending with he left us behind and starts to smoke, drink and womanizing....and EMA SIGH! Who to blame? Me? Sad but true in most cases when the husband start to earn more or in top position, they start to stray....... they dun see or recognize their partner unconditional contribution to their success and see us as a burden .......
 
Hi mummy, Sad to say yes but I am with no choice and alternative help or shelter, i am still here with my kids and him (separate room --he sleep in kids room now, while all 3 kids sleep with me) under one roof live totally like a complete stranger to each others without a single word for months...even with my poor kids. As for my allowance, he refuse to increase and ignore me even I mentioned it many many times for the past one month....nothing much I can do....
 
I have seek help from the FSC to place my kids in CC and SC so as to allow me to get out of here to find job almos t a month ago... But till now, hv yet to hear from them and was told that they need to study and analyse how urgent and serious my problem is ........ and need time to search for a suitable and convenience CC and SC......
 
Perhaps you can try to approach your hubby telling him that you need to find a job and the 3rd child need to go CC. If he did not even bother about his own kids. Fine. Try to sell off some of your preloved baby stuffs to get some money on hand. Hopefully you can use it to pay for your 3rd child's CC fees. From here, you can start off with some part time job.
 
Yes mummy, I did talk/discuss with him to place youngest boy in cc or either get home helper (who can take care of the others two elder after school) ...he can't be bother... If u hv read most of my earlier post, u will find he dun even bother to send the other two for tuition since day 1 despite their are nor bright students and produce poor results claiming that he got no $.............
 
Hi mummy,I agree with you. Seriously,man are really weak. They really. Can't multi task like us.. As for the dressing up thingy,at first it's for him.. Now? It's for MYSELF!! And I love the attention I'm gettin.. No doubt it's not much but still boost my confidence!!!
 
Hi mummies,

Read through this posting, really makes me think if every guys on earth 101% perfect one had gone died.. Haa..

Seen's through alot unfaithful one and to admitted that there's still some perfect one out there.. But for us to revenge it's coming to thinking a string without attach. In e ends it's just to satisfy our temp, emo, attention needs.. I feels that if there's isn't any chances to works out this marriage I rather divorce then to be hidden in blind and full of lies marriage.

As during quarrels times with my hubby was mentioning to him if you doesn't love me anymore * meaning no feeling no intimate feeling anymore must well be apart. Sometimes during quarrels e first concern was my gal.. If wasn't for her I've left him long ago..

Finding someone truly perfect wasn't that easy and e right one.. There a phase saying first loves was e loving and promising of every things.. But how long will it's last.. Sigh..
 
Hi lynnang,seriously,it's not easy to just let go. I have my boy to consider that's why I still cling on to my marriage and find means n ways to make the marriage work. If not for my boy,I'd have just walk out. Why suffer mentally? We dun let them suffer in this way? When I first found out my hub is seeinga PRC,I started staying out late till one day,my 4yr old boy called me n said"mommy,where r u? I want u come back.. " I can't stop my tears fr flowing down... Fr then on,I told myself,i'd endure no matter what. As for the D word,kiv.. Meanwhile,I'd enjoy my sub cards while I can. Why bother? Seems like he dun appreciate me being thrifty so why I bother? There was once,he said he wanted to bring me to a nice place to enjoy hairy crabs.. I said its x so I buy and cook for him.. His ans?? "pls,it's boring! " Its kinda a wake up call for me.. We wives save every penny and yet we are like nuisance to them. Mistresses outside? They dun save n they dun nag. So nowadays,I dun save n I dun nag too!!!!!

I have a very good example,my mom. She slog day n night for the family.. Thrifty but gave my dad d best. End of the day, my dad still have NUMEROUS affair outside!!! Reasons? My mom didn't give him enough sex!! And the latest,with my confinement lady n my x maid!!! Caught red handed by me but I didn't tell my mom cos I dun wanna hurt her. I jus terminate both of them..
 
Hi lynnang,if I'm not wrong,there is a cc in woodlands for single moms and so on.. It's pretty cheap.. If u want,I can help u find out...
If u need to vent your anger or let out some steam,I'm all yours!! Cos it's totally stressful to bottle up everything..

Cheers!!
 
Nothing valuable for me to sell to exchange for cash so far, as for most baby stuffs, a lots r hand down items from sisters and neighbors and I had in return hand down reusable items to another neighbors and also salvations army. I had tried enqiry a few CC nearby my place here and most of them are fully occupied with long waiting list....was told may hv to wait till mid/end next year or some even told me not to place any hope.... thus, am seeking help from FSC.. hopefully hv good new for me ASAP....am meeting them again 2moro afternoon crossing my finger..
 
Tks Bek, but I stay in Sengkang..both elders schooling also nearby......cc in woodland is too far to reach out.... I stay put currently becoz of kids, becoz I can't make any changes now, and most pathetic becoz I still need that miserable $50.00 per week. He dun apply for me any sub card/nets card/debit card or whatever cards .....ya! only IKEA friend's card in his name but leave it with me ...for what??? He claimed if I bring kids to IKEA than I can enjoy free drinks and discount  still need to pay for food right???
 
Lynnang,I dun mean to be mean but he is really mean!! Very stingy towards you!! And he is earning so much!! It's really not easy for you.. Especially when u both still staying together.. It's really hard on you.. Cos my hub is also like that. If I happen to quarrel,he'd jus shut me out totally. He can dun talk to me which I can't.. I feel very stressful n unhappy too..
I'm also hanging on for my kid and and also for my parents. My parents adore him.. He can just click with them easily so right now,I 'd just endure..
 
Hi bek, i'm sure we can keep a secret for you. Also hor, no offense, your dad should be quite old right? Seems like he still got the charms to charm the confinement nanny and maid.
 
Hi miracle,u r very right! My dad is 60!! And d best part is he has very bad asthma!! Seriously,I dun mean to be nasty,I always ask myself how can he handle so many!!
 
Hi Lynnang, perhaps work on something that you can generate some cash first while waiting for the help from government. What are the skills you have? Many SAHM had proven to work from home and earning a decent amount of money. Its ok to pour your grieveances here but same time think of how to plan for your future.
Your life is more important than anything else. Learn to love yourself. No point harping on your hubby who doesnt even care about his family.
Time to redirect your focus to your kids and yourself than him.
 


Hi my dear ladies frens... Pls keep this secret k... I'm seeing someone!! Look wise no doubt it's juz so so,but he makes me feel so special,so important,so beautiful,so dear,bla bla bla.. When I did my nails,he take note. Cut my hair,he asked.. Wore a new dress,he compliment..

Dear mushroom,i didn't manage to read ur pm cos something wrong with my phone.. Very very sorry... Can pm me again? Tks dear..

PS,Pls dun judge me.. Sincerely appreciated..
 
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