Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

hahaha...nellu...my previous maid also put my baby's porridge in between her legs near her private area when she scooped out the porridge to feed my son!

then i had another maid, when she can stain the floor she sat as she is menustrating and then keep touching the private area when she has menses!

My current maid is married. I once had a married maid before. In one early morning, seeing that nobody is around, she played with her private parts in the kitchen and my dad witnessed it looking across the glass reflection. Based on that, my parents are qt scared and we asked her to leave shortly after a period (this was one of the reasons we sent her away). For such situations, would you do the same? Cos you cant really ask her, cos she would deny it...unless monitor her closely on her behaviour?
 


wah...eileen, that married maid is really a bit....i don't know what to say....

Thankfully my present maid is still very decent, but a bit hiao...still ok and very normal.
 
I feel sad hearing what the domestic helpers have been treating mummies here....

Have got a friend, with 18mths twin and a 6 year old son.The way she worked her myanmar maid is really...I do not know what to say...

This maid wakes up at 5.30am,and sleep at 1am. When she is doing her housework or cooking half way, once mdm, shout for her, be it baby cry, poo or whatever, she has to stop everything and just goes to her.....Do you mum work the same way?
 
Rainbow,
can't really comment on how your fren manages her maid. Seems like there's a lot to do with 3 kids in the hse!

But the no of hrs of sleep for the maid must be 8 hrs leh. Does the maid get any rest during the day?
 
hi rainbow, it all depends...if truly the mam needs help, and if there is no extra hands at home, of cos the maid has to help. And I personally dont see any wrong of stopping everything. If she stopped everything and mam scold her for stopping everything, then the mam is not reasonable lah.

Your fren's case is understandable. the twins would be a headache to manage already.

Kids with tender age is not easy...I dont know how old is your kids? I got a 3 yrs and a 1 year old boys and i worked non stop with my maid over the wkend...We prob only have 15 mins break in between. When the kids are sleeping, the maid washed toilet and i fold clothes. Next she jaga 2 kids, I prepare dinner. Next, I feed kor kor, she bath di di....we have no extra hands at home as my hubby works 12 hrs shift.

Its not what we want too, but we have no choice, else why we need a maid. The sleeping hrs of cos if can improve, should improve. That is to say, maybe no need to mop the floor everyday, since every day not at home (cos go to ah-ma house). But you see, once we are laxed in our requirements, the maid sometimes really ride on it - taking full advantage. Even the floor is dirty, it becomes a habit that if mam dont say sweep, they also cant be bothered to sweep.

Unless you are saying your fren sit there shake leg, then its a different story!
 
yes eileen is right. If really got no extra help, there is really nothing wrong.
But if your fren is just sitting there and watching the maid does everything then it is not right.

Like my hubby, i try to educate him on this sometimes but he still depends on the maid for almost everything. I told him it is not fair to do so. Yes, she is supposed to cover most of the chores but if she is busy helping with bb or cleaning up the kitchen or watever, u cannot expect her to stop and make milo for you!

sometimes even my MiL has this mentality also...no good...
 
Rainbow
Really depends. Some pple like to shout for their maids over every little thing, like take water, take this and tat. But my hb's general rule is, the maid is here to relief me, so if I need help the maid must render. I have my own hands and legs, but if I need, I will call for my maid. Eg, if my girl sneeze and I cant' get up in time(9months preg) to get the tissue while the mucus is dripping on the floor liao, of cos I ask her to come right away. Cos similarly, I will call for my hb or my mom if I need their help. so I wont think it is abt shouting for the maid and expect her to stop anything she is doing. If I shout, I sure think my things are more impt, or else I wont.

As for sleep, my dear maid sleeps from avg 930pm to 6am. My neighbour's maid sleeps from 1am to 6am, they ask her to sleep, but she say she old liao, ard 33 or so... dun really sleep so much. Unless one force their maid to slog until 1am and the maid buay song, or else sometimes it could be the maid themself.
 
Hi mums

Thanks for the feedback.My gf is trying to advise me not to draft any routine for my upcoming maid as she finds that she goes without one and its fine cos she says by doing one and if maid cannot meet up with it, she gets stress even more....

Her myanmar maid has got no off day.This maid can take my friend screaming and shouting as my gf is a working mum and plus lack of sleep, her temper is not very good. Very amazing,her maid still worked for her tho drop tears a few times, maybe this maid is the oldest among her siblings and need money to support them.
 
Eileen10

3 year and 1 year kids are really not easy to handle at one goal, but soon, when they grow up, you can relax liao....For me, my kids are 2 years and 8 years....see enjoy half way and suffered with the younger one...Different form of stress....

Just like today, got complaint by the piano teacher. I am maidless now and my boy is downstair ,in the living room, playing while his sis having piano lesson. Teacher complaint that its very distractive for the sis and asked me to take him to somewhere else in future....I appreciate what she said, but my son play area is always at the hall and he did not go and disturb them .....

Anyway, hope this problem will solve when I have an extra hand....at least someone really played with him so that he will not zoom his car everywhere....
 
hello, rainbow..ya lor..so the more i must tahan. All the maids I have cant see that - as in, in longer term, things will get better..they all so choosy! And then, the worst, the agent expects us to give in to the maids. How is that possible? I need an understanding maid who been through this and would understand the situation.

Abt the same topic re distraction, some months ago, I enrolled my son to a playgroup. Altho my son cant talk yet, he is socially very friendly, he likes to mix with older kids, he somehow disrupted the older kids class. By the end of the day, the teacher expected him to be able to follow instructions and made some remarks that I wasnt really that pleased. She didnt say anything hurtful, but she said, if your son likes to wander around in school, then might as well leave him at home. She has to be responsible to other parents.

Point taken. But hallo, that was his first day of school and I thought the teacher should be the one teaching the kid what is listening instructions. In fact my son didnt even cry on his first day of school alone and I thought he was brave enough, but at the end, the remarks made me quit the school the very same day.

Abt daily timetable...i actually find that its good for a fresh maid. No need to say what time, but rather what task to do every day. As long as she completes those stated tasks every day, that will be alright. But there again, tell her yr priorities. If yr priority is on kids, then housework can wait.

But but, I have a fresh maid before who refused to go out of the timetable. My mom asked her to clean the window one day earlier, she REFUSED! She showed my mom that windows is to be cleaned on Wed and NOT TUES as stated on the paper...My mom said no, she wants her to do it today and now since she has nothing to do...she still refused. Next she slammed the rag on the windows lor... very the attitude hor?
 
eileen
Ay, I will be pissed if tat teacher told me tat. My girl cried in sch for a long time, after she ok, she started hitting pple! But her teacher din even complain to me, but punished her at naughty corner, and when I ask if she hit anyone, the teachers just say it is common for this age, so they will teach her. How can tat teacher expect all kids to be guai and follow instructions.

Rainbow
I think it is good to have a general guideline. LIke you prefer she wake up at wat time, wat are the tasks in the am and pm, daily tasks, weekly tasks and so on. And tell her it is a guide, you can change it anytime. At first I had a so called time table, but bcos I go out often or my girl din go to sch, everything can't follow schedule liao. But generally everyday got certain things she gotta do, and weekly she has to wash toilet say 2 times and so on... You tell her you will review lor. cos hor, if she zi dong ok, if she not zi dong, she will not find things to do.
 
Dear Eileen10, Nellu,

Isn't is scary.. how come we all got funny maids who smile & giggle when scolded? make one wonder what really go thru their mind...
 
Eileen10, haha.. we really seem to have the same experience. Under the recommendation from agent, i make the mistake of getting a fresh maid (first-timer) once. It is a nightmare. she dont know the duties of a maid & question everything. why should she do employer's thing first before doing her thing. eg:if it rain, why should she take our clothes in first before taking hers in. She insisted she want take hers in first so hers won't get wet. Why her clothes must wash seperate from ours, etc.. Unless u have alot of free time to really sit there and coach, or else should never take a first-timer maid!

I find it easier to give maid a schedule so that they know what is expected of them. however timing should be flexible, esp when they just come as they are in learning stage. In long run, they will fall into a routine, they wont need to look at the schedule then. But most maids will happily miss out some items.. they dont do until u remind them (especially those tasks that they hate doing).. so far I havent got the luck to have a maid who have initiative.
 
Mummies

thanks for adv...its tough, handling maids with small kids....if no small kids, properly, most of the maids here will have not so much job opportunity here.....


Eileen. you got mail....

Mum88

You got an experience maid now?where is she from ?
 
My maid is quite a tv addict, she likes korean shows. Last night at 10pm, I think she waiting to go to bed, she sat watching a korean show with my mom, while my hb was scrubbing the kitchen stove!! She din offer to help or bother wat my hb was doing. I waited abt 10min, then I told her "something must be wrong right, you sitting watching tv, sir cleaning the stove!!!" Dunno when she will be more zi dong.
 
Rainbow
I would advise that you give your maid a schedule and also tell her the priority. Also have to impress upon her that you will like to see flexibility. So far this has worked very well for me and my maid. Like what Mum2nat says that most maid will happily leave things out if you don't tell them. So it is better to have a schedule for her to work on right at the beginning.

eileen, mum2nat,
sounds like the teachers are a frustrated lot ah. Sometimes got to cut them some slack. it's not easy managing so many kids at one time. but then eileen, ur son's teacher's comment isn't very nice. I would have it out with her on that.

mum88
i'm not sure why the maids are like that. My present maid is normal. At least when kena scolded face expression is normal, sullen like most of us will be. Will cry sometimes...this is normal reaction...not the laughing and giggling...maybe it's their way of deflecting confrontation??! But they have no idea that it irritates pple!
 
nellu

thanks and am trying my best to draft but don't seem that I am able to come out a proper one.....

Mom2nat
Your hubby scrub the floor and your maid watch tv....my hubby packed the shoe cabinet, my maid holding my two year old son on her lab, can watch my hubby packing till my son slip out of her and fall onto the floor, also never noticed...Bottom line, think line has to drawn between maid and employer...thr my experience, my maid climbed over my head as I was too friendly and nice to her and she forgot what was she employed for....
 
rainbow and mum88, i responded yr mail...

in fact, i dont hope the maids are auto zi dong anymore. I have to tell them specifically what i want them to do, ask my mom to stop whatever she is helping the maid. Less expectations, less frustrations.

For some maids, you have to be strict. Else they can really climb to yr head...so you need abt a month observation time to see the "leaking" patterns...i would think a gd 3 mths can tell the pattern of the maid.

Do spot checks regularly and observe how the maid does her work. I have a maid who decided one day she will use the washing machine to do washing w/o my permission. And another fine day, she decided to mix our clothes and her clothes to wash together. How not to check their work???

In fact, i told the maid, if she wants to use the washing machine to do her job, then I will use her salary to pay the washing machine to do her job! Yes, indeed funny, or else they dont understand what you are driving at.
 
Rainbow
Scrub stove, not floor. Heee...
Today again, while hb was bathing my girl, my maid stand ard to watch tv. After sometime I told her, the agent doesnt' encourage her to watch tv. Luckily I din teach her to on the tv. And I dun have the habit to watch tv in the day, or else cham ah... My mom say, while my mom is watching tv, my maid was cleaning toys, end up she sit at a strategic place, while cleaning she watch tv!
 
Dear Rainbow,

haha.. biodata state my maid is experienced, but 5mths with me, she still cant even wash the floor & clothes clean. dont even know how do simple housewk..

As for "from where", i wouldn't recommend my agency to u. I just realised from another mummy's posting here that my agency got 9 demerit points!! FAINT....
 
Btw, how do we know what are the demerit points for? what offences did the agency do? There isnt any details from the MOM website?
 
Mom2nat,

haha.. one of my previous maid the same. she will iron and watch TV at the same time, so the clothes always not iron properly or she will take few hours to iron. When we place the iron board at a angle where she cant see the TV, she will slowly (bit by bit, act blur) push it to an angle where she can see.
 
mom2nat, mum88,
muahahaha... wat both of u describe abt the maid watching tv is exactly wat mine will do...
in the evenings at my mother's place when the tv is on, i will notice that the maid will stay/stand in a strategic position of whatever she's doing to watch tv! if angle is not right, she will inch bit by bit to the right angle! *bueh-ta-han*
 
Hi Mummies,

Really hope to get some enlightenment! :>

I really dun understand why wanna tanah maid's lousy performance because they are still having outstanding loans. Why can't return them to the agent and get a refund or transfer for another maid. Is it because the agent will not return that outstanding loan?

Thanks! :>

PS : I posted the same q on Sat but no one reply me leh. I'm really very very curious to noe. :p
 
mum88
Iron clothes my maid can't watch cos iron in the room. But she oso wont dare, cos the way my hb scrutinise if the clothes are ironed properly, I think she stress ah.

plim
I think the maids are bored too. But my agent told me dun encourage them to watch, cos addictive. He say at night can give her a smal radio and children songs, ask her listen and learn to sing to the kids. But I worry, she wan to borrow my other cds, cos she likes to listen to music and sing karaoke in Ph..
 
Sunshine
It all depends on the Agency. By right, agency should refund the loan. But, but left, some agencies, esp. small ones, very chao(4)-kuan(4), will purposely delay the refunds and make u chase them until fed-up, waste your time and energy .. Worst, if contract between agency and you states that loan is to be borne by employer and is only refundable until the maid found another employer, who will reimburse you, then employer lagi chiam .. so, must scrutinise the contract before you agree to use the agency.

For those big and reputable agencies, they provide quite good service and won't 'cheat' our money. They will refund promptly and do good follow-ups. Cos for such agencies, they value their reputations.

But then, if employer decides to repetriate the maid back to their country instead of transferring her away before her loan is fully repaid, employer will have to chase the maid for the outstanding loan, which is almost impossible, cos they have no money. So, this is why bad maids always have chance to be recycled over and over again.
 
To add to my point above, though big and reputable agencies usually provide good service, but they can't guarantee good maids. It all depends on our luck to be able to get good maids.
 
Hi Mum,
My office has quite a number of Philipino professionals. I was chit-chatting with one of them one day and asked who is looking after her children (6 and 4 years old). She said she gets her mom or cousins to fly over and help out.

She told me she doesn't want to get 'strangers' as maids or nanny to look after her children.

I felt so surprised that even they do not want to 'rely' on maids yet we S'poreans have no choice but to 'trust' these maids to look after our children...
 
Jinsanshun,
I think we do not have much of a choice cos we do not have the kind of support system that they have. Our parents have been ingrained with the idea to keep working even when old. So much so that some of them are repulsive towards the idea of helping to look after grandchildren. I, for one, have to spend months and months and many painful episodes to persuade my mum to help. Even then i employ a maid to help out too with the hsework and as an extra pair of hands.

I think it's our societal attitudes here. If we all have a choice, we all would not want to have outsiders helping with our childcare. Don't you agree?
 
yes, nellu, I agree. Its frustrating when you dont have anyone as relatives to fall upon. Esp frustrating that its yr own parents dont want to help you look after the kids. This reminds me the days when I am expecting my no. 2. I was crying everyday for abt 3 mths. My mom refused to look after my baby, and she refused to have a maid around but she said the kor kor can stay with her. Anyway, now, I still on and off get some nonsenses....what to do? have to manage it lor...
 
Agree with nellu. If given a choice, who would want a stranger to look after our kids? I would normally put myself in my parents' shoes and ask myself: Next time when i retire, would I want to spend my retirement time relaxing or doing another round of kids-manning and shouldering all the responsibilty all over again? My answer is 'no' .. So, it is understandable why some grandparents choose not to take care of their grandchildren ..
 
eileen, you know i used to think that staying at home to be hsewife and mum is such a stupid thing to do. because for so many years, my parents impressed upon me that I should have a career of my own and all that kind of thing. I still struggle with it sometimes but now, i'm totally convinced that there is nothing wrong with being a SAHM. It's the world's most demanding and challenging job, even more so than being some CEO of a super big MNC! handling all the issues in our offices become so easy!
 
pinktweet....call me crazy if you want..i think i have changed...I actually do want to do another round of kid-manning when I become a grandma!
happy.gif
 
haha .. i scared scared liao .. i can't manage another round of responsibility .. When i'm a grandma, i dun mind taking over once a while when my children went for holidays or when their childcare centre closed for holiday, etc. But i will not want taking over full-time, tying up my hands and legs, cannot go anywhere (ie. must seek 'permission' from children if i need to go anywhere so that children can take leave to take care of kids when i need to go anywhere) .. the mere thot of it scared me liao .. . .haahaa
 
maybe it boils down to freedom .. cos now i saw my mom 'enjoying' her retirement very freely, full, of freedom, i aspire to be like her!
 
Hi Mummies,
I totally understand the situation faced by mummies here. I myself had to rely on maid and MIL arrangement previously. It was tough and frustrating and stressful..

Was also at a lost at that time... Don't mean to 'question' why mummies employ maid to help out. Yes, limited options and help available.

Just wanted to share with you guys what my Philipno colleague felt about her own fellow countryman. Make me so sian.
 
hey Jinsanshun, don't take it wrongly. We know what you are trying to say....
I guess this happens everywhere, even in Singapore lah...There will always be pockets of pple who think like that of their own pple. We also can't say that all Singaporeans are good wat rt?
 
Well, I oso tot ask my mom stop working to look after my girl, but how to when my mom earns more than 10 times the pay of my maid??!! I can't afford to give my mom so much allowance a month oso. But of cos if one relative or family member not working, can help out ok lah, but sg govt encourage us to work leh. Sigh...

My mil likes to chit chat with the maid. tell her many times liao, but she still do it. And the previous time she came over to my place, she told my maid to go and do her housework, can't talk much to her, or else her boss not happy. Wah piang, how can tell maid like tat!
Then today mil eating lunch, maid sat down at the dining table watch mil each lunch and chit chat!!! and mil defended maid saying, maid got nothing to do... Make me so pek chek leh...
 
Hi PinkTweet,

Thanks very much for the advise. Hmm... for my case I just sent my maid back to the agency and I got no problem getting my balance back which i thot is the 'by right' thing. The agency auto-matically calculated and sent me the cheque, so I'm curiously why quite a few mummies here wanna to tahan their maids cos it is very frustrating to face a person who u really dislike despite trying.

For me, I can't stand my maid lying to me even after I warned her so many many times.

Sigh... now I really give up in hiring maid liow, I rather give up some of rest time to do the housework after work. Really, not easy being a working mum.
 
Mom2nat..this is exactly the problem i am facing with my Mil ref to my maid. Got so fed up that i quit my job so that I can get my MiL out of the pic all together.

BEST is the MiL can badmouth the maid, say she v stupid and all, but behind my back are the BESTEST of Friends!! Champion!!
 
nellu
My mil v fren fren with the maid!!! Get me fedup ah. Then end up we are like the mean ones, mil is nice one. I at home most of the time, usually I need to go out then call mil to come over. But with mil here, my girl oso more tyrant. Now I v headache how.... I gg to deliver soon liao.
 
poor you Mom2nat! I definitely can identify with your problem.

For me, cos i'm working then my MiL volunteered to help take care of bb. At first she created a lot of problems cos she thought she dun want the maid around. Like she would help with the hsework like that!
After that, she became so fren with the maid like ur MiL lor. Make me look like I am so mean right?!

She not only give me problems with the maid. She also anyhow take care of the bb. Even my maid can tell me that my MiL is doing things the wrong way. Luckily up till now nothing major has happened to my boi...o/w...sure will have major confrontation!
 
hi everyone..

I am new to this thread.. and is trying to get a maid.. before starting on my new job.. my ah boy is 11mthsnow.. just went to a maid agency to get some info.. and came back with a bigger headache with all those numbers (i suck in numbers)..

a fellow mum recommended me this thread.. normally i can dig up archives and get myself oriented on what's happening.. now too fed up/stressed over this maid issue to even read properly what's happening here.. haiz..

fyi.. me never have a domestic help before.. SAHM.. My mum comes over daily to help with my ah boy. but can't expect her to come eveyrday and stay so late.. and go home.. haiz..

hmmm.. how to i even start on this thread??.. i cant even seem to figure ot all those loans, bonds, issues.. hmmm
 
Hi Moms!
I am looking for a reliable maid to take care of my baby daughter, almost a year now. I had a bad experience with the ex maid, and with the agent handling the replacement... that she has never found. Now I have new agent, but hse is taking ages to have the new maid coming over! Reading through the thread, i am happy to see I am not the only one to who it happens!
So if you know of someone good, I am open to different options
Full time live in maid
Full time go ome maid
daytime babysitting

I just want to make sure I can TRUST the person who keeps my girl as me and hubbie work full time!
 
oh ya.. just sightly went thur the previous page of archives..this maid loan thingy is perplexing.. my jaws literally dropped when i heard the agent explain to me repaying the loan! what logic does this make? The sum i pay monthly for the food, accomadation and salary is not cheap.. plus the loan?? ridiculous i find.. like that might as well i go find someone reliable from whatever country myself .. and get her here.. save on the loan?!. hmmm...
 
I found out exactly how the Social Visit Pass thing works. When the documents are processed, the maid has to leave SGP. They go over the border to JB so they are not violating MOM regualtions. Once processed, they re-enter and can start work already. There are special agents that do the border run. Costs the maids $150. Smart huh.
 
Liana, I guess there is a market for it, cos pple would prefer to see the maid face to face before confirming. Half of the time that the photo and the real person differs. Remember my recent case that the maid wore 2 pc of clothes when taking photo???

* Haiz *, you can refer to Tamarind's blog. http://www.singaporemaid.blogspot.com/
 
Mom to nat

I understand what you are saying regarding mum/mil friend friend with the maid. My mil, tho does not stay with me, have this problem too. Before I had a maid, she CREATED such problem my two other sil.

She will tell the maid, last time, before you come, they use washing machine to wash cloth, why now they ask you use hand. Last time, they hardly wash the car/clean window, why they ask you do so often.

I anticipate all this coming up, and warned my maid not to talk to her when we visit her. But, as mil speak malay and very friendly, most maid will think that she is good , and also she treats maid very nice.

Last month, she knows that my maid is leaving, started to chat her up.Also, when my maid went up stair to take something, (mil happen to be there),mil quickly tell my maid, deem to be a good person, aiya, you quickly go down or your mdm will look for you......As my maid is a smart maid, she knows for this, mil is putting on an act as I never at one time control my maid to such extend...

Well, not sure how much my next new fresh maid will buy mil nonsense.....Thank god, we are not staying together...
 
rainbow
Actually my mil is not the kind to stir trouble. The prob is she is too nice and too chatty. She mean no harm kind. But ah, end up make things worse.

Last night my hb came home, my mil went on none stop saying my maid got do housework today, clean wat and wat.. then hb told her, since she so eager to say all these, he is v sure mil must have been chatting with the maid, and trying to cover up. Mil let the cat out of the bag without knowing. She should just say wat did my girl do or play, not defend the maid the first thing hb came home. So end up my hb talk to my maid, say dun talk too much to mil. Cos when they talk, who is concerntrating on my girl? Luckily he oso finds it quite a headache whenever she visits. But no choice leh, sometimes I need to go out, at least she is here to help out a bit.
 


Hi, haha.. tell u all what my MIL do.. best of the best..
happy.gif

I employ a maid for my MIL when she injured her leg and she cant walk without help. My MIL let maid sit there watch TV with her whole day. No need do housewk at all. Nothing.. As I wk whole day, i didnt know what maid do at home until i spoke to my brother-in-law. Only to realise that my bro-in-law and MIL been doing everything, while the PRINCESS MAID sit there daily watch TV & eat only! When I found out, I immediate give maid schedule to wk & chk on her often. Instantly one wk later, this maid demanded to go back agent... gd or what?? wasted my money for how many mths, pay her to sit there??? didnt even take care of my MIL. my MIL even better, said she dont want to bother the maid!!! FAINT!
 
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