Hi ladies,
I'm new to this thread.Wow,this is such an interesting thread.I must say this forum helps me keep my sanity coz i can write all i want here and vent my anger/frustration here.
my history: Stillbirth july 2007,tried for 9 mths after stillbirth (including 2 failed IUIs),succeeded by natural conception,m/c at 9 wks,i went thru' op to ressect my uterine septum.now,here i am.
problem is: hubby and i had healthy sex life b4 marriage.not as often as i would like it,but we still did it.after marriage,conceiver no.1 very easily.no.2 was a lot of problem.hubby refused to have sex! i don't know y.i don't know if it's the stillbirth that has affected us,or there are other reasons.he even said he didn't like the way i seduced him.all the blame seems to be on me.it's so frustrating.he's a bad boy,and i love bad boys.i tot i could tame him by giving him kids.WRONG! now i know,a bad boy will never change.he's tall,he's big (i don't mean fat),he's quite attractive (to me,at least).he will go out ends on wks drinking.and the worst part? i didn't even know abt some of these stuff until it leaked out during our conversations.not sure if u ladies know,but at the pubs,there are those filipino ladies who will flirt with men and make men buy them drinks.this is how they earn their commission.so their skin is quite thick.can u imagine those sort of girls,more attractive than us wives (certainly so in a man's mind),seducing our husbands.i feel so uncomfortable.i've voiced my displeasure,but that seems to make things worse.i mean if my hubby comes back 4am in the morn and make love to me,i won't complain he came back so late.but i get angry and frustrated there is no action at all,worst still,we are ttc.i get very stressed over this.i have to plan,i have to scheme,juz to get hubby to BD at the correct time to up my chances of getting preg.it's so frustrating.well,even if it's not for ttc,a gal has her needs too,agree? sometimes i wonder where hubby lets it out.and wat worries me is he always comes back with gifts.he teaches night classes and those adult students,mostly ladies,will ask him to send them home.can u believe it? hubby always say he is firm,he is strong.but i think we ladies know we have the power to seduce and most men will fall for it.and these adult students of his will buy him shirts,t shirts etc.the worse part is he's wearing them though it's a size too small for him.he likes it! and he tells me it's an 'auntie' student who bought it for him.won't anyone of u here feel uneasy if a female keeps showering ur hubby with gifts? today,these ppl had a BBQ at my house.and when i looked at the photos,i got SO MAD! IN MY HOUSE,these girls (i mean they are young sweet things) pose in my balcony,in my living room,like they are models.i would love to scream "SLUT" in their face.i would love to kick up a big fuss in my hubby's face.taken with our camera some more.these ah lians are so good at seducing men.
i don't know wat is happening with my hubby's life anymore.i didn't make a big fuss coz i don't want him to think i'm this unreasonable wife,and that will push him away further fr me.but i'm keeping this all to myself and it's eating into me,and deep down inside,i know it's not healthy.
sigh...