(2012/06) Jun 2012
- Thread starter bluesapphire
- Start date
groovy2009
Active Member
Michi,
Me, actually I feel quite bad leh. I never give any allowance.. My parents both in their retirement age but still working. Even make their own home industry and becomes entrepreneur at old age..
My husband parents last time also quite well off. So we never give allowance. But right now MIL has cancer. I think they might need money. I ask hubby to ask them already but dunno he got ask or not, and they might not want to accept our money too..
I'm now suspecting they borrow money or gets money from hubby's super rich uncle (my MIL's younger brother who is very rich). Because until now that uncle never gives anything to my #1, which I found very strange becoz the rest of the family gives already.
My #1 last time is born before my MIL detected has cancer.. When I want to give money back to both MIL and my mom to thank you for their help, they don't want. After that I never gives anymore.
I only gives money on their Birthday which even my hubby is quite upset with that! (Strangely!)
It's true to say girl is usually more filial towards their parents. I'm glad to have at least a girl (#1 is girl). At least have 1 filial towards parents. hehe..
Me, actually I feel quite bad leh. I never give any allowance.. My parents both in their retirement age but still working. Even make their own home industry and becomes entrepreneur at old age..
My husband parents last time also quite well off. So we never give allowance. But right now MIL has cancer. I think they might need money. I ask hubby to ask them already but dunno he got ask or not, and they might not want to accept our money too..
I'm now suspecting they borrow money or gets money from hubby's super rich uncle (my MIL's younger brother who is very rich). Because until now that uncle never gives anything to my #1, which I found very strange becoz the rest of the family gives already.
My #1 last time is born before my MIL detected has cancer.. When I want to give money back to both MIL and my mom to thank you for their help, they don't want. After that I never gives anymore.
I only gives money on their Birthday which even my hubby is quite upset with that! (Strangely!)
It's true to say girl is usually more filial towards their parents. I'm glad to have at least a girl (#1 is girl). At least have 1 filial towards parents. hehe..
groovy2009
Active Member
The bad thing is sometimes I still have a habit to buy things for my parents without buying anything for in-law leh...
I need to always remind myself if I buy for my parents, must buy for in law too...
Right now is worst, I rarely buy things anymore. Nowadays very rarely go out shopping where got time to buy. huhu.. Just bought Christmas presents for them though.
Hubby said he never bought anything for his parents except food leh!! Very bad.
He said he also didn't celebrate Birthday, never gives each other Birthday presents (even to his brothers). All his siblings are boys lor. Maybe that's one reason too.
I never received any Birthday presents from my in-law. But luckily #1 receives a lot.
My family is the other way around. Last time we always gets pocket money from parents. And that pocket money we uses to buy gifts for each other during Birthdays, and Christmas. I have 2 siblings too..
If I go back Indonesia I always buy clothes or gifts for my parents. Also bought some food too..
Yesterday I received a Calendar as my Christmas gift from my Bro. Never expected leh! I haven't bought anything for him or my sis :$.. Huehehe..
I need to always remind myself if I buy for my parents, must buy for in law too...
Right now is worst, I rarely buy things anymore. Nowadays very rarely go out shopping where got time to buy. huhu.. Just bought Christmas presents for them though.
Hubby said he never bought anything for his parents except food leh!! Very bad.
He said he also didn't celebrate Birthday, never gives each other Birthday presents (even to his brothers). All his siblings are boys lor. Maybe that's one reason too.
I never received any Birthday presents from my in-law. But luckily #1 receives a lot.
My family is the other way around. Last time we always gets pocket money from parents. And that pocket money we uses to buy gifts for each other during Birthdays, and Christmas. I have 2 siblings too..
If I go back Indonesia I always buy clothes or gifts for my parents. Also bought some food too..
Yesterday I received a Calendar as my Christmas gift from my Bro. Never expected leh! I haven't bought anything for him or my sis :$.. Huehehe..
Moi, the Liese kit is a DIY hair colouring kit which you can buy from Watsons
I'm planning to colour my hair after passing my 13th week.
Groovy, I usually don't buy things for my in-laws also, except maybe during CNY. Anyway, my in-laws are also not the demanding type.. but last time my MIL would make some noise to my hubby about him not giving money regularly la.
Groovy, I usually don't buy things for my in-laws also, except maybe during CNY. Anyway, my in-laws are also not the demanding type.. but last time my MIL would make some noise to my hubby about him not giving money regularly la.
felicia_cao
New Member
Michi
think really up to you, if you feel that you have more commitment with 2 kids, then no need to give is fine since you pay for everything liao.. but say if they both are not working, and you have some extra $$, just give them maybe 100 each for pocket money also not bad...
for us we give allowance and also for birthday we give 200 every time, they give me $$ on my birthday also, MIl give $100 and FIL give $50, chinese new year also we give them 200 each every year, now have to give more cuz they give us and also #1..
but i know hor next time we move out, i sure tell hubby can't give this much de.. really too much commitment liao with 2 kids.. now no car yet, once buy car and get another maid, that's it.. nothing left..
think really up to you, if you feel that you have more commitment with 2 kids, then no need to give is fine since you pay for everything liao.. but say if they both are not working, and you have some extra $$, just give them maybe 100 each for pocket money also not bad...
for us we give allowance and also for birthday we give 200 every time, they give me $$ on my birthday also, MIl give $100 and FIL give $50, chinese new year also we give them 200 each every year, now have to give more cuz they give us and also #1..
but i know hor next time we move out, i sure tell hubby can't give this much de.. really too much commitment liao with 2 kids.. now no car yet, once buy car and get another maid, that's it.. nothing left..
Hi moi,
At 12 weeks, you can see your baby gender a boy? That is so fast!! During my OSCAR scan, the person did ask me if my #1 is girl or boy, and then ask me how many kids i want. I said 2..Then she had no expression or reply..dunno is it she could see my baby gender and din want to tell me? It seems like it's a girl again from the way she behaved. I regretted i didn't ask her if she could see my baby gender cos i thought we can only find out at 16 weeks mah. Now still can't see. And usually boys can find out faster than girls.. My next appt is 31 Dec, i can't wait to find out the gender haiz...
At 12 weeks, you can see your baby gender a boy? That is so fast!! During my OSCAR scan, the person did ask me if my #1 is girl or boy, and then ask me how many kids i want. I said 2..Then she had no expression or reply..dunno is it she could see my baby gender and din want to tell me? It seems like it's a girl again from the way she behaved. I regretted i didn't ask her if she could see my baby gender cos i thought we can only find out at 16 weeks mah. Now still can't see. And usually boys can find out faster than girls.. My next appt is 31 Dec, i can't wait to find out the gender haiz...
nattan:
Wah, i don't dare to colour my hair leh. My gynae recommended not to put chemical on our hair cos we won't know if anything will enter our scalp. I actually wanted to do rebonding for CNY but now i don't dare.
Mani and Pedi
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I thought it's fine to do leh..i still have so many times in my package. But my friend who did it, her baby has some red patch on her bb's eye when born and not sure if it will be there permanently and then her friend said it's because she did nail painting. It's patang lah but really, who knows right?
Taking care of Baby
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For my family, my husband's father has passed away le and he's the only child, so his mother who's also has cancer stays with us. She can't really take care of my #1 so we hired a maid to take care of her and our family.
Even though we have a maid, we sent our girl to CC at 2 year plus cos she's getting more active and my mil and maid can't handle her, only let her watch TV so we thought just sent her to CC to learn and socialise better.
Our expenses are high since we have to pay the house, the car, the maid, CC fees, groceries, utilities etc. My MIL had to quit her job due to her illness but since we have tight commitments, we only give her $400 allowance. Plus my hubby and I are just middle-income persons. Anyway my MIL stays at home most of the time.
Luckily we have good maids so far who take good care of my MIL and adore my girl. At first we were quite frustrated on what to do but this is the best way lah - hiring a maid. Really ease alot of our chores. At least my MIL can see what my maid is doing at home. Now my #2 coming...it's good that my #1 goes to CC so my maid can just handle the baby and my MIL just "see" at home lor.
But hor, living with in law is also not easy lah. Sure got arguments here and there. Aiyah, it's so stressful to be a working mother living in Singapore.
Wah, i don't dare to colour my hair leh. My gynae recommended not to put chemical on our hair cos we won't know if anything will enter our scalp. I actually wanted to do rebonding for CNY but now i don't dare.
Mani and Pedi
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I thought it's fine to do leh..i still have so many times in my package. But my friend who did it, her baby has some red patch on her bb's eye when born and not sure if it will be there permanently and then her friend said it's because she did nail painting. It's patang lah but really, who knows right?
Taking care of Baby
-------------------
For my family, my husband's father has passed away le and he's the only child, so his mother who's also has cancer stays with us. She can't really take care of my #1 so we hired a maid to take care of her and our family.
Even though we have a maid, we sent our girl to CC at 2 year plus cos she's getting more active and my mil and maid can't handle her, only let her watch TV so we thought just sent her to CC to learn and socialise better.
Our expenses are high since we have to pay the house, the car, the maid, CC fees, groceries, utilities etc. My MIL had to quit her job due to her illness but since we have tight commitments, we only give her $400 allowance. Plus my hubby and I are just middle-income persons. Anyway my MIL stays at home most of the time.
Luckily we have good maids so far who take good care of my MIL and adore my girl. At first we were quite frustrated on what to do but this is the best way lah - hiring a maid. Really ease alot of our chores. At least my MIL can see what my maid is doing at home. Now my #2 coming...it's good that my #1 goes to CC so my maid can just handle the baby and my MIL just "see" at home lor.
But hor, living with in law is also not easy lah. Sure got arguments here and there. Aiyah, it's so stressful to be a working mother living in Singapore.
felicia_cao
New Member
joycie
mind me ask hor, how much is the cost of the car every month roughly? Do you both use it for work? We are thinking of buy one but we both work in CBD, car park+ERP will kill us. So thinking if just to buy and use it for weekends, and weekdays send #1 to school only.. will that reduce the monthly cost by a lot or not.. hehee..
btw i feel your situation is the best, mil can supervise maid, #1 in CC, really great plan!
wow 400 allowance, that's A LOT!! cuz you are playing for bills and groceries already leh..
mind me ask hor, how much is the cost of the car every month roughly? Do you both use it for work? We are thinking of buy one but we both work in CBD, car park+ERP will kill us. So thinking if just to buy and use it for weekends, and weekdays send #1 to school only.. will that reduce the monthly cost by a lot or not.. hehee..
btw i feel your situation is the best, mil can supervise maid, #1 in CC, really great plan!
wow 400 allowance, that's A LOT!! cuz you are playing for bills and groceries already leh..
Joycie, there's no scientific proof that colouring your hair or doing mani/pedi will harm the baby. But don't do it if you're scared la.. I think breathing 2nd-hand smoke outside is even more harmful.. But then, cannot control smokers right.. I hate it when I have to enter a lift and it's smokey cos some idiot smoked inside. I always have to hold my breath or breathe through my sleeve/tissue until I reach my floor.
felicia_cao
New Member
Michi
yup i buy for her, i just buy and share with her lor.. for shampoo and shower foam, last time we use master bedroom toilet and she use common bathroom, so we separate, just buy for her and i never control, finish liao then buy again lor, but i rem for almost 2 years hor maybe bought twice for her only ba, really can last for a long time de..
to me such things very cheap only, i don't like to control, make her happy and comfy then she also works harder, haha..
yup i buy for her, i just buy and share with her lor.. for shampoo and shower foam, last time we use master bedroom toilet and she use common bathroom, so we separate, just buy for her and i never control, finish liao then buy again lor, but i rem for almost 2 years hor maybe bought twice for her only ba, really can last for a long time de..
to me such things very cheap only, i don't like to control, make her happy and comfy then she also works harder, haha..
Felicia - My husband and I also worked in CBD (Raffles Place). We also just bought a car. The problem is we have difficulties getting the season parking in Raffles due to shortages of carpark. Anyway, we bought a 2nd hand car (3 years old already) and monthly installments is ard S$560.00. We bought Hyundai Avente Sunroof 1.6 at S$50K. You can check with both of your bosses see if they willing to sponsor the parking fees or give some transport allowances. It will be good to have.
felicia_cao
New Member
moi
congrats on knowing the gender.. yup very early for you to know but guess also because you are having a baby boy, most pple say boy very obvious, if girl, mostly can't confirm cuz less obvious ba i think... hehee
congrats on knowing the gender.. yup very early for you to know but guess also because you are having a baby boy, most pple say boy very obvious, if girl, mostly can't confirm cuz less obvious ba i think... hehee
felicia_cao
New Member
Jen
thanks so much for your advice.. yup we also targeting at 2nd hand car and he is at raffles place and i am at anson road.. he's doing customer service and i am in IT line so both no chance to get car allowance actually, lol..
for 50k, monthly instalment at 560 sounds very cheap to me cuz i think my sis is paying 800 plus for a 68k car.. we stay at tampines so quite far from office lor, that's why i am thinking if car park in CBD + petrol + ERP is too crazy, rather just use the car for kids ba.. taking train is not a big problem, the most i take cab home during my last trimester if i am really that tired, lol..
thanks so much for your advice.. yup we also targeting at 2nd hand car and he is at raffles place and i am at anson road.. he's doing customer service and i am in IT line so both no chance to get car allowance actually, lol..
for 50k, monthly instalment at 560 sounds very cheap to me cuz i think my sis is paying 800 plus for a 68k car.. we stay at tampines so quite far from office lor, that's why i am thinking if car park in CBD + petrol + ERP is too crazy, rather just use the car for kids ba.. taking train is not a big problem, the most i take cab home during my last trimester if i am really that tired, lol..
felicia_cao
New Member
haha Michi i think my maid is very smart and she knows what is right what is wrong.. press so many times for what, just one head with so much hair, can't use also waste only mah.. she's very grateful to us because we treat her like a family member, which she didnt expect at all cuz her agent told her singaporean employers very hard to entertain, so she was fully prepared for the worst, everything bring her own de, even her own container for food cuz she said she never expect us to let her eat with us, and thought we wont even let her use our plates and bowls so better bring her own.. wah sounds so poor thing you know.. so we make sure we treat her the way we want our boss treat us.. LOL..
Felicia - Erm..Coz I paid 10K for deposit. So the monthly installments is based on 40K instead. To me, I feel better to have a car when have kids or pregnant because alot of times, it is more convenient. Such as to take a stroller or whatever out during shopping etc. My petrol per month only cost around S$350.00. So it is still consider manageable. It is the season parking in CBD and ERP that is more expensive.
felicia_cao
New Member
Jen
wow 350+560 sounds reasonable and manageable to me, so the most i don't use car for work lah, or maybe only use during my 3rd trimester, after delivery i sure can take train again, haha you make me feel a lot better already... i am looking at 40k and below anyway, haha..
Michi
yup a lot of employers are very chiak ark de actually, that's how i feel lah... i totally don't control anything at all, got time then do housework, no time dun do also never mind, i never train her how to do housework, let her do it her way lor.. never let her cook also, i cook, lol.. that's why when we move in with in laws, my mil deem that she's too lazy and very bad at housework, end up have to let her go back.. haha..
but her agent is very very bad to all the maid de, they go through training in Myanmar together in the agent house for 3 months, no time to rest de, busy like crazy so she feel the life here is just too good..
wow 350+560 sounds reasonable and manageable to me, so the most i don't use car for work lah, or maybe only use during my 3rd trimester, after delivery i sure can take train again, haha you make me feel a lot better already... i am looking at 40k and below anyway, haha..
Michi
yup a lot of employers are very chiak ark de actually, that's how i feel lah... i totally don't control anything at all, got time then do housework, no time dun do also never mind, i never train her how to do housework, let her do it her way lor.. never let her cook also, i cook, lol.. that's why when we move in with in laws, my mil deem that she's too lazy and very bad at housework, end up have to let her go back.. haha..
but her agent is very very bad to all the maid de, they go through training in Myanmar together in the agent house for 3 months, no time to rest de, busy like crazy so she feel the life here is just too good..
groovy2009
Active Member
For maid everything we need to buy, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, sanitary pad.
I think depends on maid's personality leh. I think to be really save, just bought the smallest shampoo container, smallest toothpaste. The smallest it is, the more they will feel pai seh if they keep asking for more. The more they will save lor since it's small container only..
Also for sanitary pad, last time I'm confused my maid can finish 30 pads in 1 month leh. So I ask her and saying even I didn't finish that much in 1 month. In the end now she didn't finish like that anymore. hehe.. I bought the ordinary one and the panty liners saying if a bit only (mens almost finish) just use the panty liners.
I think depends on maid's personality leh. I think to be really save, just bought the smallest shampoo container, smallest toothpaste. The smallest it is, the more they will feel pai seh if they keep asking for more. The more they will save lor since it's small container only..
Also for sanitary pad, last time I'm confused my maid can finish 30 pads in 1 month leh. So I ask her and saying even I didn't finish that much in 1 month. In the end now she didn't finish like that anymore. hehe.. I bought the ordinary one and the panty liners saying if a bit only (mens almost finish) just use the panty liners.
Felicia
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We bought a weekend car b4 my #1 was born cos we thought we could take public transport to work and only need to drive during the weekends. I think it saves a lot of money. The tax per year is much cheaper too. We were very lucky. We bought the car during the economic crisis so was cheap and less $17,000 (cos it's weekend car) plus we kana the $2 COE...Wah, we only paid $28,000 for Toyota Altis! We din have $ to buy a car lah so we borrowed from our uncle and our MIL and paid all the monthly installment in 1 year. Then after that we sold our EC and downgrade to 5 room flat, we used our profit to return the money to them lor. Recently, we changed our car to normal plate because we are switching our girl to another childcare next year and need to drive her to sch, so we changed lor. I still don't drive to work, i squeeze in the MRT (SIANz) and my hubby now drives to work occasionally a week, not everyday cos ah, ERP very chor ah! So every mth, we just pay the gas,ERP, maintenance fees, carpark fees only leh since we finished paying our car. For ur case, to park in CBD and ERP will cost a lot a mth, i think you should consider weekend car. Plus cars are so ex now!
Felicia and Michi
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Really, you think $400 is a lot? My hubby and i give $300 and I give $100. We thought we are so giam and give so little only. But my MIL take the $ and give my maid to buy groceries. We also use our money to buy groceries lah. I never give my parents money cos i think they are well off than me. However, my housewife mother still expects her children to give her money, it's just that my useless brothers nv give her money and i can't afford to give her money. Aiyoh, i feel so bad. I really wanted to give her allowance but i'm already so tight, how to give? My brothers should give right? Hai, don't talk about them. My dad just expects dinner treats from us can already as he understands.
Maid
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My maid buys her own shampoo, soap and sanitary pad. Seriously, i dunno where she gets her money since she's still within her 1st 6 mths with us, haven't receive mthly salary yet.
Moi
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Ya i agree with Felicia. Boy very obvious, can see his little bird there easily whereas girls are more shy. haha! I only knew my daughter's gender when i was 5 mth preg ah!
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We bought a weekend car b4 my #1 was born cos we thought we could take public transport to work and only need to drive during the weekends. I think it saves a lot of money. The tax per year is much cheaper too. We were very lucky. We bought the car during the economic crisis so was cheap and less $17,000 (cos it's weekend car) plus we kana the $2 COE...Wah, we only paid $28,000 for Toyota Altis! We din have $ to buy a car lah so we borrowed from our uncle and our MIL and paid all the monthly installment in 1 year. Then after that we sold our EC and downgrade to 5 room flat, we used our profit to return the money to them lor. Recently, we changed our car to normal plate because we are switching our girl to another childcare next year and need to drive her to sch, so we changed lor. I still don't drive to work, i squeeze in the MRT (SIANz) and my hubby now drives to work occasionally a week, not everyday cos ah, ERP very chor ah! So every mth, we just pay the gas,ERP, maintenance fees, carpark fees only leh since we finished paying our car. For ur case, to park in CBD and ERP will cost a lot a mth, i think you should consider weekend car. Plus cars are so ex now!
Felicia and Michi
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Really, you think $400 is a lot? My hubby and i give $300 and I give $100. We thought we are so giam and give so little only. But my MIL take the $ and give my maid to buy groceries. We also use our money to buy groceries lah. I never give my parents money cos i think they are well off than me. However, my housewife mother still expects her children to give her money, it's just that my useless brothers nv give her money and i can't afford to give her money. Aiyoh, i feel so bad. I really wanted to give her allowance but i'm already so tight, how to give? My brothers should give right? Hai, don't talk about them. My dad just expects dinner treats from us can already as he understands.
Maid
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My maid buys her own shampoo, soap and sanitary pad. Seriously, i dunno where she gets her money since she's still within her 1st 6 mths with us, haven't receive mthly salary yet.
Moi
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Ya i agree with Felicia. Boy very obvious, can see his little bird there easily whereas girls are more shy. haha! I only knew my daughter's gender when i was 5 mth preg ah!
ryan_mummy
Active Member
sigh.. sidetrack abit.. i need to rant here..
damn tired today... been working **Non-stop since 1pm. nvr worked so hard b4. even other times mth end also not so jialat..
I hate year ends!!! that's probably y i hate festive seasons. everything also rush.. just quarrelled with hb on sunday cause he wanna go Orchard shopping n take photo.. i told him i hate shopping, also hate christmas.
dunno y other ppl can enjoy year end but i can't.
foul mood!! OT today again. 2days in a row liao
damn tired today... been working **Non-stop since 1pm. nvr worked so hard b4. even other times mth end also not so jialat..
I hate year ends!!! that's probably y i hate festive seasons. everything also rush.. just quarrelled with hb on sunday cause he wanna go Orchard shopping n take photo.. i told him i hate shopping, also hate christmas.
dunno y other ppl can enjoy year end but i can't.
foul mood!! OT today again. 2days in a row liao
felicia_cao
New Member
joycie
wow thanks so much for the detailed info.. yup you are really really lucky!! i was thinking about OPC car also but the 7am, 7pm rule very annoying, like that have to wake my boy up early for school lor.. so if we don't use the car for work, i think get normal plate is fine still.. but you are right now car really too ex liao, have to really plan properly sia...
and yes 400 is a lot leh.. last time we dont stay with in laws we gave 300 in total for 2 of them leh.. same here my parents also don't need money from us, they are way well off than us and they always tell me to ask for help from them if i need.. haha i am just too lucky..
wow thanks so much for the detailed info.. yup you are really really lucky!! i was thinking about OPC car also but the 7am, 7pm rule very annoying, like that have to wake my boy up early for school lor.. so if we don't use the car for work, i think get normal plate is fine still.. but you are right now car really too ex liao, have to really plan properly sia...
and yes 400 is a lot leh.. last time we dont stay with in laws we gave 300 in total for 2 of them leh.. same here my parents also don't need money from us, they are way well off than us and they always tell me to ask for help from them if i need.. haha i am just too lucky..
hi all, i am new here, 11 weeks preg n edd 29 jun 2012. my hubby n me are very excited that we are gg to have a baby when we first knew. however things changed, we start havin quarrels n very bad arguments lately n he even hit mi so bad that i had a bruise on my face last week. he left mi saying that he wans a divorce after that and refused to answer my calls or smses. i dunno wat to do. i told my parents he hit me however my parents are not supportive of me and say i must have done something very wrong that deserve the hit. i m ver very stressed. i quitted smoking after i know i am preg. however i started smokin again. i know it's bad for the baby but i am realli at a loss. my parents are not supportive. mi n hubby juz bought a new house n it's currently under renovation. i dunno wat's gg to happen next. i m worried if i be homeless n baby n mi have no roof. i had spoken to the lawyer and he say we cant divorce as we are less than 3 yrs in a marriage. all my frens asked mi to leave him because if he can use violence once he might use again n harm mi or the baby.
Hi Jenny, welcome! I'm shocked to hear that your hubby hit you and your parents don't support you. Can you ask him to talk things out in the presence of your parents? Ask your parents to be there in case he hits you again. If things are really beyond you, pls try to seek help at a family counselling centre like Fei Yue, Touch Community or AWARE. Meanwhile, pls take care of your health and body... stop smoking for your baby's sake.. if you're stressed, can come here and chat with us, or go for walks..
hi michi, he refused to talk or answer my calls. whenever he is stressed or angry he will throw the word divorce to me and disappear not answering my calls or smses.he done that few times already even before i m preg. we have several big quarrels previously too n he usually say divorce n i need to beg him for forgiveness. i know this time round is the end of the road for us already cos he lay his hands on mi n i think he knows as well. therefore i sms and call him sayin i talk to a lawyer already n we cant divorce oni can file deed of separation n we need to think how can we best settle the baby, the still ongoing renovation house etc. but he simply hide himself up as usual and refuse to answer calls or reply smses. i m worried for my baby. i dunno if i should rent a house outside or wat he intend to do with the undegg renovation house since he is not talkin.
Jenny, I think both of you just need to cool down and sort out your thinking. From what you wrote, I think your hubby is very childish to use divorce to threaten you. Maybe you can stay with your parents a few days and let things quiet down before making your next move. Actually I ask you to seek counselling, not necessarily with your hubby... you can ask them for professional advice on what to do (since none of us here may be fully qualified to do so). Like for example, if you have no place to go, where can you stay temporarily?
As for keeping the baby, it's a very personal decision, so don't let others influence you. I've known single mums who manage to raise their own child with no problem. Yes, things will be tough for a while, but everything will be worth it when you come home to your precious child. Of course, you also need to assess whether you will be able to receive any family and financial support after the separation.
As for keeping the baby, it's a very personal decision, so don't let others influence you. I've known single mums who manage to raise their own child with no problem. Yes, things will be tough for a while, but everything will be worth it when you come home to your precious child. Of course, you also need to assess whether you will be able to receive any family and financial support after the separation.
vinniesellie
Member
Jenny, u haf to stay strong for d baby ok.. Personally if i'm being abused, i'll report him to d police so that i can protect myself in d event divorce n to prevent him fr hitting agn.
With rgds to abortion, pls bear in mind d risks increases as ur baby grows bigger. Alternatively, u can always give d baby up for adoption.
Perhaps u shld give him stop contacting him for a week n give urself n him time n space to think thru if ur relationship is still worth d effort. I hope u find d answers to ur problem soon.
With rgds to abortion, pls bear in mind d risks increases as ur baby grows bigger. Alternatively, u can always give d baby up for adoption.
Perhaps u shld give him stop contacting him for a week n give urself n him time n space to think thru if ur relationship is still worth d effort. I hope u find d answers to ur problem soon.
seriously i have no intention of abortion and it nvr come across my head to abort even if my husband dun wan the baby and mi. my biggest worry is a roof. my parents didnt ask mi to move out but they are not supportive. i actually move to the on going renovating new house when my husband hit mi cuz i do not want my parents to see my bruise n they are nvr supportive of mi in any way. i had wanted to continue staying at the new house but it's doing renovation wif paint smell and at the same time i am scared my hubby might come anytime n hit mi or verbal abuse mi again. he called mi names whenever he throws a big temper n start saying i am the worst wife n so unlucky to marry mi n choose and choose and it's one in a million to marry a suay wife like mi. he even say all these in front of his family when he throw temper.
vinniesellie
Member
On a separate note, i'm close to 14 weeks n kind of spotting today.. I had brown discharge dis afternoon. I just pee n i had 2 small clot of blood in my urine. I had diluted mucus-like blood when i wipe.. Shld i be worried? No cramps or anythg.
Sorry tmi but i'm starting to freak out a bit
Sorry tmi but i'm starting to freak out a bit
i had went to file a police report but nothing can be done to him. i even checked with the lawyer, lawyer say is considered family problems not assualt kind. he cant be sued n given he is first time hit mi, i will just be getting the ppo (personal protection order) from court.
vinniesellie
Member
I juz had an ultrasound yest n all was well.. I think i'll monitor it further before deciding to go kk a&e.. Maybe i've pushed myself too hard.. Had spent d whole day walkg arnd shopping centres today
christine77sg
New Member
sel > try to ly dwn n put a soft pillow under ur butt n legs. If spottin persist, better to c doc.
Joeey: you can print out a list of months, days, and other vocab and paste on the wall. Let your children see them, and you just teach them to say aloud. After a while, they can remember and can also constantly refer to them. This is called periperal learning. My son also learnt a lot recently by watching youtube videos. We typed in words like mickey mouse, barney and others, and he can search for the videos on his own based on search history to watch and learn. He started saying the lyrics to bingo and wheels on the bus. So maybe you can get your children to decide what they want to learn.
Today, something amazing happened. I mentioned that he is extremely quiet in class and he is the same when we meet strangers. we went to a shop selling learning activity books and others. I wanted to buy some chinese books, and the sales person demonstrated using a pen scanner that can read aloud the words and also say short rhymes. My son just happily repeated all the words to the sales person and was not shy at all! He also waved bye to her later.
I started to think, maybe the learning environment at the enrichment centre is not suitable for him. Some people are just good at getting children to respond, and he hasn't met any at his classes.
Today, something amazing happened. I mentioned that he is extremely quiet in class and he is the same when we meet strangers. we went to a shop selling learning activity books and others. I wanted to buy some chinese books, and the sales person demonstrated using a pen scanner that can read aloud the words and also say short rhymes. My son just happily repeated all the words to the sales person and was not shy at all! He also waved bye to her later.
I started to think, maybe the learning environment at the enrichment centre is not suitable for him. Some people are just good at getting children to respond, and he hasn't met any at his classes.
christine77sg
New Member
jenny > i tink u shld hv part ownership of the flat. U cn choose to buy ovr ur hubby share. Even if separate, u stil cn sty ther, rt? No reason for hubby to chase u out. Wher u stayin b4 u hv tis house? Try nt to sty ther for nw, cos the smell of paint is also nt gd for both bb n u. If u r always the one apologisin, even whn u r nt at fault, mayb u shld jus let him cool off for nw. Mayb he didnt reply u cos he regret hittin u n mentionin divorc. N he doesnt wan2 lower his ego to tell u ta, esp u tld him tat u hv tok to lawyer. Pls tak care n stop smoking. Otherwise if any complications arises, it wil b anthr headache.