(2012/06) Jun 2012

Nattan: then your hubby has to look after cats as well on top of everything. Good luck.

Adeline: buikding websites for ad revenue, selling them and also producing lessons to teach people stuff. Would have worked out if i was more focused. I even hired filopinos to help with my biz but ran into worker issues with one. Constantly disappeared and had lots of excuses. I had no problem with the other, that's why i feel if i hire a maid, not sure what type i can get.
 


ONLINE BIZ - my hb kept asking me to start. but i lazy.. haha
plus there r so many online bakers. so i told him i will only do it with shop.. i won't do online.
home kitchen not good enough for me.
 
Re kid socialising
My son can communicate with relatives pretty well. He got along well with my husband's relatives even though he has seen them only a few times. However, he doesn't talk at all during his lessons on saturdays. He keeps totally quiet, and while he behaves well, i have only heard him speak at most 3 times in a year. I'm not sure why. I know he is listening as he can go home and tell me what he had learnt when i ask him. Anyone has any idea?
 
Felicia, I think a retail biz is not easy cos of inventory.. need to balance the supply and demand, follow trends, etc.

European bosses are generally better than American or Asian ones.. I think cos their laws over there favour working mums.. my workplace is quite family friendly, so hopefully can work out something, given my situation.

Glass, haha.. ya.. he is used to looking after the cats already. Actually, they are easy to care for. Cats sleep over 16hrs a day, so they only need food and clean litter. Most of the time, they just nua or play with each other.

Wah.. your biz sounds more sophisticated, no wonder time-consuming. I think I probably would just help my hubby with his biz at home by making calls and doing data entry stuff.. If got time then consider online biz..

Anybody booked hospital tour already? I booked mine
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Glass - Maids can be tricky but if you dont try you would never know. I have heard horror stories about them and was quite fed up with my last maid after she completed her contract and tried surviving without a maid, hubby and i couldnt take it.We had to find another and am thankful my new maid is really good but the only downside is she has no experience with babies/children. Hence my MIL suggested to take in another maid with experience in taking care of babies which will solely concentrate on the baby. I am not comfortable with this idea as i think it is a waste of money and i dont want to have 2 maids home alone with the baby, i wouldnt know what they are up to.
I still have not told my maid i am expecting however ideally i thought of transfering this maid and getting a maid with experience with babies. *Sigh*
 
glass
how old is your son now? not attending school most of the time? my boy was like that when he entered CC at 19 months, back then he can talk pretty well actually, and he knows all her alphabets and numbers well so when he see those things everywhere in the CC, in front of me he will get excited and run over to read his letters.. but when i ask teacher he does the same after i left, teacher said he didn't talk at all and no one know he actually recognize alphabets and numbers after about 4 months..

till now he still don't like big group activities and although my niece was the only child at home, and entered CC around 2 years old also, she managed to cope a lot better.. i think one thing is because maid look after my boy and we dare not to let her bring him out during day time.. but my niece was taken care of by her grandma who is the super talkative kind and always bring her out a whole day to visit friends..
 
Felicia: he is 26 months. Yup, he stays at home most of the time. He is quite advanced (mummy boasting heehee) as my fil spends time to teach him. He can say words like parallelogram as he can identify shapes, can say the various months in order, can say the numbers untik 50, know the alphabet very well, can read simple books aloud and more.

He knows other chikdren in his block, but i doubt he really communicates with them.

Like what you said, the teachers didn't think he is smart at all since he doesn't even repeat the number they tell him to at the start of the class. I'm not sure whether this is selective mutism.

I wanted him to start preschool for a few hours next year, but the centre told me to wait untik he is 30 months. I hope he won't feel that we are kicking him to a school to make way for baby #2.

Adeline: is yours indo or filipino? Now they are scrapping the english test, maybe will have shortage in the short term. I had an indo maid for a few days before as my granpa died and she came over. Knows how to look after my baby, but she was constantly on the phone, and had bad bo. I was sharing the room with her then and i couldn't take it. My mum fired her for the hp use.
 
Glass- Mine is a Filipino. We would normally take Filipino due to the spoken language. I actually wish my sister in law can pass me her maid who is superb at looking after babies/kids as she has experienced taking care of my SIL 3 boys and treats them like her own as well. I think she has very good maternal instincts. She has worked for them for 10 years now. Anyway the boys are all big now with the youngest at 4 yrs old.
Perhaps i should talk to her...hehehehe.
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glass
i see.. haha mine is 28 months, same lor can say all months in order, count numbers till 100 and can read/recognize 2 and 3 digits numbers.. and he knows phonics so can spell simple words also.. but can't read book on his own lah, if he read 1-2 liners, it's because he memorizes.. LOL..

but school teacher only realized recently cuz now he finally talks a lot in school.. the teacher told me maybe sending the maid back is a good thing, only after my maid left hor he started to communicate more with strangers.

so i find CC better than playgroup, cuz they stay there for longer hours, eat and shower and sleep together with other kids, more interaction, and cultivate better habit and routine also.. overall my boy still doesn't talk much with strangers, teacher told me it will take time lor..
 
Hi,

Went for my gynae visit today. Week 14 , edd still the same 11 June. Very excited as I know the gender today.. Is a boy!! Gynae says 100% boy..

Nattan, u book the hospital tour? Just the tour alone? When u going? Need to pay? U called up the hospital to book?
I too excited today , forgot to ask. Just informed that they will book the room on 5th month..
 
Hey Pris, congrats! You're having a boy!
kao_cheers.gif
I wonder if my gynae will be able to tell when I go next Sat (week 12 going on 13 for me).

Ya I booked today, going with my hubby. It's free.. you just call up the hospital and let them know your preferred schedule. They have tours everyday at different timings, so just tell them your preferred slot.
 
I also don't know how she tell is a boy.. Before she scan, I ask if can see gender, she replied, let's see...
She scan scan and confirm Is a boy..I like is the little bird that she saw.. She pointed to me but I still don't understand the scan.. Haha..

Yes, I am happy.. Happy that I can start to buy bb stuff... Heehee
 
Wah! Prisc > u alrdy knw the gender arh? So lucky. My gynae still ask mi to wait till at least 4mths.
sad.gif
Bt I also don't knw if I wan a boy or gal...haha.

#1:
C u all tok abt #1 I also headache. My boy is coming to 13 mths nw. whn #2 comes, he shld b 19 mths. I m wondering if I shld put him on playgrp or childcare thn. Cos, although I m a SAHM, I don't tak care of my boy exclusively. Mon to Sat routine is moning bring to parents pl, thn I stay ther to hlp out till ard 12pm whn my father returns bk. Thn I will go bk hm to do my barang barang or hlp hubby to do paper wk. Whn #2 is out, I don't think i cn sty w my mum till 12pm anymore. Don't knw if she cn handle on her own. She is also quite old ardy at 60plus. I also hv anthr problem is tat I hope to let my parents rest earlier on Sat, rather then wait till my hubby to cm bk fr wk to fetch #1 (Hubby works 6 full days). Bt thn childcare nt open after 2pm on Sat, rt? Dont think I cn handle a bb n a 19mths alone at hm leh. Any suggestions?

Petrina > wah, salute u arh. If my MIL is lik tat I die die also wan2 stay on our own. So unfair to ur hubby n u leh. Bt again, she is gd to volunteer to hlp tak care of ur kids lor. Cos its really nt easy. N put ur heart at ease while u work, knowing smone reliable taking gd care of ur kids mah.
 
Thnks gals,
Ya, I think I am lucky. Bb sleeping quite still. Gynae scan top and bottom. Then see little bird between.. She pointed to me but I don't know how to identify.
I had been thinking and hoping to see gender today..my wish come true.
Actually boy/girl I also like. But of cos for parents ESP in laws, of cos boy is better.. So at least, I am in the safe zone, cos my relationship with my mil, not that good yet.. So at least now will make some difference.
This is my first, I hope my next will be a girl lor...
 
glass, felicia,
wow, your kids are smart ! my #1, 3yo, still cannot count from 1 to 30, only count from 1 to 20, doesn't know the months of the year either ...

Adeline,
the maid's salary is about $400 plus $190 govt levy plus food $200 a month plus insurance, toiletries, clothings, misc, so about $800 per month.

Priscilla,
congrats on knowing the gender
happy.gif
 
Joeey, mine is $370,levy currently 265 cos no kids yet,the insurance for us is a one time payment for her full term contract, food i cant really calculate cos she eats what we eat and the rest is on her own.
Hence i cant wait for the levy to go lower when we have a kid!
happy.gif
 
Talking abt hospital tours, hubby n i juz went tdy.. Only managed to view d birth room, nursery, premier room n d suite.. Didn't get to try their signature soup bcos no halal
sad.gif
But still it was a very productive day for us. Did d tour at 10am, signed up for fbi, met Dr Sim for d 1st time to at 13 week n walked in on d OSCAR test n some other blood test.. Baby is growing beautifully n nothing out of d norm found.. Thank god! We left tmc at 5.15pm..

Congrats Priscilla on d boy! We'll only get to knw ours on d nx appt end Jan.. Can't wait!
 
chris,
maybe can ask your neighbour or mum or nanny to help on some saturdays ? 19 months still quite young and coming to the terrible twos stage, won't be easy for you. bb might be easier to handle then the toddler. You probably still need to cook for the toddler lunch and dinner ? when bb starts crawling around 8 months, might also be another headache.
 
Priscilla
Big congrats!!! You are so right, for the sake of the older folks, it's stress free for you when #1 is a boy.. wish i can confirm the gender on my next visit, by then should be about 16 weeks.. in fact i really don't mind having one more boy, haha just curious to find out so can confirm the name and start some baby shopping soon...

joeey
nowadays kids are super smart lor.. some Aug09 babies are more advanced than my boy in terms of speech and other stuff.. my boy learned his months of the year from leapfrog dvd, in fact learned his alphabets, phonics and numbers all from that dvd.. once they know 1-20 hor, very easy to teach the rest liao, then we let him read bus number lor to learn 2-3 digit numbers.. haha at first he read bus 291 as twenty-nine-one.. LOL.. sometimes we don't really correct him since it's fun and it's good for kids to be creative.. but my boy's fine motor skill is not so good, so i think really they develop in their own phase and can't compare de..

Chris
yup childcare Sat open till 2pm usually.. true that 19 months not too easy to handle, but for afternoon if your #1 has a routine to nap for a few hours, then i think it's not too difficult.. i sometimes have to handle my #1 alone the whole day and he only naps for 1 hour, i think you can manage, be confident about yourself!!
 
Hi Sel, thanks for sharing your tour experience. Sounds like fun... but I didn't know it would take that long...issit cos you also met up with your gynae? I also didn't know they can let you sample their dishes...
 
The tour took abt 30-60mins only.. D soup is at d end of d tour served in their cafeteria.. The tour was informative for ftm cos u'll know where is what n it's operating hours, docs n items to bring..

D oscar test took very long bcos i didn't have an appt.. Appt is all full so my gynae told me to walk in.. I went for oscar right before lunch but was told to come back at 3.30pm.. That's y i ended d day at 5+pm
 
I leave my baby under the hand of maid since she's 16 weeks old. Before that I have no maid at all. I only apply for maid in the 2nd month during my maternity leave and somehow the first maid agency that I choose cannot deliver the maid until 2 weeks before my maternity leave ends! Can you imagine it's 2 months plus already! So in the end I change agency and get a transfer maid.

If you want to look for a new maid, especially the one with no passport yet, I suggest you look for 2-3 months before.

My transfer maid is good at looking after baby and housework. But she really likes to talk so much. I didn't allow her to go out with baby alone, didn't allow her to go to market alone, but somehow she still can talk with lots of maid from my window (my house is 5th floor btw!)

I occasionally watch her from CCTV cam that I installed in my house. And will call her immediately if I saw something wrong. (If I saw her chatting and leave my baby unattended)

So far no accident happened to #1, it's all depends on luck and pray to. Because we have no choice but to leave her alone with maid as both our parents are in Indonesia.

I don't want nanny or infant care simply because:
- nanny if we are not getting her from recommendation, it's way scarier than maid! We can't see what does the nanny do from CCTV and she might be taking care of more than 1 baby at a time. Worse, she might employ a maid to take care of our baby and it will be way more dangerous!
- Infant care, everything we buy at home we must buy for infant care as well. All doubles, bottles, bedsheet etc. Then poor little baby being put in infant care, and afraid of germs etc..

My baby is quite difficult to handle because she's a fussy eater. She doesn't want to drink milk last time when I ends my maternity leave. Only wants to drink when she's half asleep. So need to carry her to sleep first. I don't think if infant care teacher will have the patient to put baby to sleep first before feeding her. Maybe they will just said baby doesn't want to drink becoz most likely I still breastfeed her at home!
Which I am not anymore because she also need to be half asleep before I can breastfeed her during the end of maternity leave. Until I in the end give up direct latch because it's really difficult, sometimes asleep already also doesn't want to drink.

My #1 is a very good sleeper though. She slept overnight since she's 2 months plus. The only thing is she thinks drinking/ eating is a chore for her. Huhuhu.. Until now still fussy eater.
She can vomit milk from nose. Now if she eat too much she will vomit too. Doctor said she has small stomach so just let her be. But what parents can bear to see their baby goes without eating/drinking?
 
Starting 8 mths old she drinks milk from straw! I first time give her straw, no need to teach, she can drink already.

Maybe she just doesn't like bottle..
 
OIC Sel.. thank goodness! I was afraid the tour will take a whole day cos I need to go home and prepare for a X'mas gathering... Hehe.. I'm looking forward to mine at PEH...
 
Groovy: same! my boy also like tat.. small stomach. vomit easily.. i gave alot of colic wind since birth though i latch from breast.. lol
he also nvr drink from bottle. started ard 6mths already sippy cup then not enough flow he refuse. so feed from cup or straw.. so MIL very scared #2 same..
dun wan bottle then cham liao.. so i abit stressed now.. dunno how to feed #2 next time.
 
Was busy whole day with work and did not got a chance to chat here..

Care giver
I am in dilemma, wanna a maid but MIL/SIL not confirm to allow me to put maid and baby in their house in the day. maid alone in the house I'm totally not comfortable.

For IFC, I am not sure the cost and where can i find in Yishun area.Heard can be as much as $1k?

tomorrow going for my OSCAR scan and hospital tour @ 10 am.. 9 am to see kelvin chua for my high BP. going to spend the entire am tml @ TMC.
keena of gan-cheong and pray hard my baby is normal.
 
May
yup IFC can cost up to 1k, indeed average about 1k ba i think..

yup you either get a maid and leave baby and maid at your in law place, or ask your in laws to spot check her at your place lor, that's what i did last time..

me also in dilemma, yesterday i just shared i want to put baby at nanny's place, now i realized it's not so easy to get a good nanny actually, indeed might be worse than maid cuz you can't control the way nanny take care of baby, maid you can train and give instructions.. so maybe i will convince my in laws to get another maid, since it's only for one year, once our condo is ready we will move out.. haiz really headache...
 
Michi, if i'm not wrong, for full day IFC, working mum subsidy is $600, half day is $300. For non-working mum, subsidy is $150 full day, $150 half day.
My girl's IFC, we pay $600 per month after working mum subsidy.
 
oh i think can also use cda account to pay for some IFCs. Dun think my IFC is under the cda account thing, so we didn't pay by cda account.
 
Ya lor. Horror story like nanny leave baby sleep on tummy for long that cause death, or nanny just leave the toddler under her maid care in the end the girl kena hot water and hospitalized. My colleauge said her toddler has so many bruises maybe becoz the nanny just leave her roaming around and knocking here and there. At least you can put your house into a very safe place for your toddler or baby by put in those safety bumper or items. But you can't do anything in your nanny house.

But I also heard good nannies, the one that can teach, toilet train, which lazy maid can't or won't bother to do leh
 
Wow~ So after subsidy still muz pay $600, like tat employ maid better lor... juz add $200+ to include the household chores and misc
 
haha yup Michi, and no school holidays to worry cuz IFC every year got about 5-6 days holiday also.. and no need to rush to send baby to IFC and fetch them back on time.. most importantly, no need to worry when they are sick, once sick IFC won't let them enter lor so need someone to take leave and look after baby... so indeed maid is the cheapest option..
 
Groovy: yeah.. my fren got a super nanny.. nanny have a pri sch girl so my fren's boy has companion everyday.
then nanny feeds him with super foods not rubbish. teaches my fren what is good for the baby.
nanny potty trained the boy from 18mths. so cool lor! sigh... sometimes boy slp over at nanny house when he's too tired. where to find such fantastic nanny??
 
wah petrina your friend so lucky.. i don't think it's easy to find such good nanny lor.. and Groovy is right lor we can't do anything at nanny's house.. haiz headache.. i am definitely more comfy with getting a maid since the experience with #1 is very good, but getting a good maid is never easy either..
 
ya lor.. It's all depends on luck.
Now I also need to change maid already becoz this current one wants to quit next month. Huhu.. Choose new maid already but quite afraid now whether she can handle or not. My #1 is quite big already now quite easy to take care. It's just need strength to run here and there to catch her to feed her. Now she can't sit and eat anymore. Must walk here and there and play. huhuhu..

Hopefully everything goes well.. More important hopefully the maid can pass english test leh..

Btw!! Out topic!
I feel this baby really looks like me! I crave for Coke again! Argh.. I very rarely crave for Coke when preggy with #1. Hubby doesn't like Coke at all. I think #1 is like hubby and this one is like me.
I look at the USG picture in the 12th week, looks like this baby have my nose.
My #1 has hubby's nose which is short liao. Once she's born the midwife shout already look she has daddy's nose. LOL..

#1 really looks like hubby. Even she doesn't really like to drink milk like hubby. Always want to drink plain water only.. Out of everything #1 only has my hair leh, soft, smooth and ang moh color (when I'm in childhood days :p).

Hopefully #2 will look like me
happy.gif
. Hehe, 1 to 1..
 
Felicia: lucky lor!! but she say her boy lucky.. haha not her.. cause her #2 cannot use the same nanny le.. so might put #1 in CC then #2 use nanny cause nanny cannot take care of 2. anyway she won't cause hard to devote time.. her nanny very responsible type. her nanny was her CL also. very nice lady. she knew her as a PT maid for her house then after she preg she started looking for nanny so the PT maid volunteered being nanny.
 
Groovy: haha.. my #1 was exactly like me. now even character n style like me. same mold printed.
but #2, diet exactly like hb.. haha
so mine is opposite from u.. hehe
 
Can I check ar... did u all share the allowance to give ur MIL/FIL with ur HB every month? How about ur own parent? Do ur HB also contribute to ur own parent?
 
Felicia, Hopefully!!! Huehehe... I want boy boy but if in the end gets a girl also doesn't mind
happy.gif
.

Now what I'm afraid most is also how will #1 react towards new maid to take care of her. Huhu.. Last week when I went back to Jakarta she's so sticky to us, doesn't even want any of mum's maid to come close to her leh! Doesn't want them to carry her, to feed her. Huhu.. Only in the end of 1 week she wants to play with them already..

Any mummies with experience of changing maid/ caretaker of their kids?
 
allowance to parents
for me i don't have to give allowance to my own parents.. but for my in laws, i give them 1k from my pay, hubby pay 1k for insurance for us and #1 from his pay, so in a way it's shared, just that i pay other stuff like household expenses and bills..

last time before we got married, he gave 250 to his parents and i top up 50 to make it 150 for each.. to me if i have to give my own parents, then i will tell him to give to his own parents, we don't share and mix.. but since i don't give my own parents, i don't mind sharing his allowance to his parents lah.. plus now we stay with his parents, i feel that i need to contribute more..
 
I hope also!!

Michi: we were talking abt tat earlier.. i give MIL $100. hb give her $700. my parents we nvr give anything. cause they both working and they say they dun want. cause we have children to raise..
 


Re allowance to parents, I don't have to give my parents... for my in-laws, it's quite ad hoc.. sometimes we will send them $200-300 (which translates to RM500-700?) since we don't live with them and my MIL was working. Now that she passed away, we pass my FIL a few hundred when we visit. We don't give a fixed amount.

BTW, recently I've been feeling v v bloaty and gassy
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Tummy felt so painful last night, dunno whether it would affect the baby or not. But I managed to pass out the gas after lying down for a while..
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Do you ladies have any remedies for gassiness?
 
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